David Brooks: I Found Faith in a Crowded Subway Car - The Opinions

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Opinions – David Brooks: I Found Faith in a Crowded Subway Car

Release Date: December 24, 2024
Host/Author: The New York Times Opinion

Introduction

In this episode of The Opinions, David Brooks, a renowned columnist for The New York Times, delves deep into his personal journey from atheism to faith. Titled "I Found Faith in a Crowded Subway Car," Brooks offers listeners an intimate look at the transformative experiences that reshaped his understanding of spirituality and belief.

Early Life and Religious Upbringing

David Brooks begins by recounting his childhood experiences with religion, which were characterized more by routine than conviction. He shares:

"From time to time I would go to services with my grandfather in the synagogue. But I went to a Christian school, and so I went to chapel every morning and sang the Christian hymns." (02:15)

Growing up, Brooks oscillated between Judaism and Christianity, without a personal belief in God. This dual exposure provided him with a broad perspective on religious practices, even as he identified himself as agnostic or leaning towards atheism for approximately five decades.

The Shift from Atheism to Faith

Brooks's journey toward faith was neither sudden nor dramatic. Instead, it was a gradual transition marked by subtle, profound experiences that challenged his long-held skepticism. He reflects:

"I wish I could say faith came into my life with a big flash of lightning... But it was definitely nothing like that. It came in gradually and on tiptoe." (04:10)

Key Spiritual Experiences

A pivotal moment in Brooks's transformation occurred in 2013 during an ordinary morning ride on a notoriously ugly subway station near Penn Station. Amid the chaos, he experienced what he describes as an illumination—a profound event that altered his worldview permanently.

"I looked around this crowded subway car, and I had this sense that everybody in it had souls... [they] give them infinite value and dignity." (05:30)

This realization extended beyond mere intellectual acknowledgment. Brooks felt a deep connection to the spiritual essence he perceived in every individual, suggesting a universal soul that transcends physical appearance and circumstances.

Additionally, Brooks shares other transcendental experiences, such as walking by Mount Monadnock at dawn, which left him feeling "overawed by the experience that surrounded me" (03:45). These moments of mental elevation hinted at a reality beyond the material world.

Embracing Faith and Its Implications

As Brooks delved deeper into his newfound faith, he immersed himself in religious literature and engaged with diverse religious communities. This period of exploration was marked by an influx of books and conversations with religious leaders, helping him navigate his evolving beliefs.

"I started reading books about faith and coming to faith. It was just a gradual, incremental process." (07:00)

Brooks's journey led him to identify more with his Jewish heritage, appreciating the divine wisdom in biblical stories, while also embracing Christian teachings. This dual appreciation sometimes caused friction with his Jewish friends, who felt his engagement with the New Testament distanced him from his Jewish identity.

"If people want to give me a label, I guess Christian is the right label." (08:00)

Reflections on Faith and Goodness

Brooks discusses the profound impact that embracing faith has had on his perception of human goodness and altruism. He challenges the secular notion that people are inherently self-interested by highlighting examples of radical generosity inspired by religious conviction.

One such example is Pancho Aguiles, a devout Catholic who runs the Living Hope Wheelchair Association in Houston. Aguiles provides wheelchairs to undocumented workers paralyzed in construction accidents, embodying what Brooks describes as "radical goodness."

"Pancho, you radiate holiness. And he said, no, I just reflect holiness." (07:45)

This interaction underscores Brooks's realization that faith introduces a perspective where goodness is seen as a divine reflection rather than a mere product of individual effort or meritocracy.

The Nature of Faith

Brooks articulates a nuanced understanding of faith, distinguishing it from mere belief systems or possession of certain doctrines. For him, faith is characterized by a profound longing and an intuitive sense of something greater.

"Faith suggests possessing... but that's not how faith feels to me. It feels more like a longing." (08:45)

He emphasizes that the joy derived from faith lies not in fulfilling this longing but in the existence of the longing itself—a continuous, enriching pursuit of spiritual connection and understanding.

Conclusion

David Brooks's episode on The Opinions offers a compelling narrative of personal transformation through faith. His reflections bridge the gap between secular thought and spiritual awakening, presenting faith not as a rigid belief system but as an evolving, heartfelt journey. By sharing his experiences, Brooks invites listeners to reconsider the role of spirituality in their own lives, highlighting the enduring quest for meaning and connection beyond the tangible world.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

"I wish I could say faith came into my life with a big flash of lightning... But it was definitely nothing like that. It came in gradually and on tiptoe." (04:10)
"I looked around this crowded subway car, and I had this sense that everybody in it had souls... [they] give them infinite value and dignity." (05:30)
"If people want to give me a label, I guess Christian is the right label." (08:00)
"Faith suggests possessing... but that's not how faith feels to me. It feels more like a longing." (08:45)
"Pancho, you radiate holiness. And he said, no, I just reflect holiness." (07:45)

This summary encapsulates David Brooks's profound exploration of faith, providing listeners and readers alike with a comprehensive overview of his spiritual journey and the insights garnered along the way.

Transcript

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This is the Opinions, a show that brings you a mix of voices from New York Times opinion. You've heard the news. Here's what to make of it.

C (0:44)

My name is David Brooks. I'm a columnist at the New York Times. I write about politics, about culture, and these days, even about faith and spirituality. Well, it's the holiday season, so religion is supposed to be on our minds at least as much as shopping. As a kid, I experienced religion mostly as boredom. So from time to time I would go to services with my grandfather in the synagogue. But I went to a Christian school, and so I went to chapel every morning and sang the Christian hymns. So half of my life was in the world of Judaism, going to synagogue, and half my life was in the world of Christianity. It didn't really matter to me because I didn't believe in God. So it was just two stories, and I didn't really see a problem with having these two halves of my life. And then I spent about 50 years as an agnostic or maybe as an atheist somewhere in that territory. And in those days when I thought about faith, I thought it was all about belief. You had to believe that certain things are true, that God really does exist, that the stories in the Bible are true. And so I was looking for books or arguments or something that would rationally convince me that there was indeed a God. I wish I could say faith came into my life with a big flash of lightning and like Jesus walking into my room and saying, come, follow me. But it was definitely nothing like that. It came in gradually and on tiptoe. I would have these experiences, what they call numinous experiences, which are sort of transcendent experiences. I remember just walking by a mountain called Mount Monadnock, which is in New England, early dawn one morning, and just had a sense that I was overawed by the experience that surrounded me. And so I'd always had random experiences that I couldn't really explain, experiences of mental elevation. But in 2013, I had a thing they call illumination an illumination is not just some spooky experience. An illumination is an event or an experience that leaves you permanently changed, that changes the way you see the world. So one morning in April, I was in the subway under 33rd street and 8th Avenue near Penn Station. And if people know that subway station's possibly the ugliest spot on the face of the Earth. And yet I looked around this crowded subway car, and I had this sense that everybody in it had souls, that every single person in this car and every single person in the world has some piece of them that has no size, weight, color, or shape, but gives them infinite value and dignity. And I had the sense of these souls not just sitting there inertly, like brain matter, but alive and moving. And some people's souls, I imagined, were soaring with joy. Some people's souls were suffering and crying out. Some people's souls might be yearning for something. As I experienced that, it felt enchanted. There's not just material atoms that there's some force in the universe and can't really be easily explained by a bunch of neurons rubbing against each other. And so if you think that there's a spiritual element in each person, then it's an easy leap to believe that there's a spiritual element in the universe as a whole, and that would be God. After a series of what you say were spiritual experiences, I didn't really have any vast change in my life. I didn't have a vast change in my thinking. But I started reading a lot, and I started reading books about faith and coming to faith. It was just a gradual, incremental process. And the way I describe it is I like it to. Like you're riding on a train and you're sitting there reading the paper, and all around you, people are drinking their coffee and doing the normal things that people do on trains, and nothing seems that remarkable. But you look outside the window and you realize there's a lot of ground behind you, that you've traveled a lot of ground. And I had traveled a lot of ground from atheism. At some point, I had crossed a boundary, a border of some sort, and I was in a new territory. And that territory was belief or faith. And I didn't have any firm ideas of what God was like or what he would say to me or which parts of the Bible were true and which were mythical. I didn't have any of that. I just had a sense that there's something out there and I should try to learn about it. When you start telling people that you're exploring Faith, I've learned. One of the things they do is they send you books. And so over that six months in that period in 2013, I probably got six or seven hundred books that people sent me from all religious traditions. And, you know, I'm a bookish person, so I just started reading about religious experiences. I just wanted to know what it was like for them. And I started hanging around with religious people and having all sorts of conversations with rabbis, priests, pastors. So gradually, gradually, I become accustomed to living with faith. And in some sense, I feel more Jewish than ever. Because the stories that we used to read at the Passover Seder, the Exodus story, or the story of David, those stories seem fundamentally true to me. Maybe not literally true, but they contain divine bits of wisdom that are part of the nature of being human and point to things that are holy. And so I feel very Jewish. But, you know, I can't unread Matthew. I've read obviously both Testaments a fair bit. And somehow it's in the Beatitudes, it's in the Sermon on the Mount, where to me the celestial grandeur comes through. And of course my Jewish friends say, well, you've, you buy into both New and Old Testament, you're not really a Jew anymore. That's not how it works. I don't really feel that way, but I understand. And so if people want to give me a label, I guess Christian is the right label. And I spend a lot of my time reading books in a Christian reading group. I go to a church more than I go to a synagogue. And so I basically embrace the whole shebang. The journey to faith is a ridiculous journey in many ways, because it's a belief in something that's unseen. But I've been confronted time and again by radical goodness. And a lot of us are trained in university to think that people are basically self interested. But I met a guy named Pancho Aguiles who lives in Houston, and he is a deep Catholic, and he did run something called the Living Hope Wheelchair association, which took undocumented workers, immigrants who had been paralyzed in construction accidents. And he gives them wheelchairs and other things so they can lead dignified lives. And he's just a joyous human being. And I said, pancho, you radiate holiness. And he said, no, I just reflect holiness. And that's a hard thing for me to wrap my mind around, because I grew up in a world of the meritocracy, where you're supposed to achieve everything you accomplish. It's all about your effort. It's all about your work, the idea that God is working through us, that the blessings we possess are gifts from God, that sometimes we just have to let go. These are hard shifts for people like me to make. And then when it happens, it has the power to shock. The big surprise to me coming to faith is that faith is not the right word for it, because faith suggests possessing. There's a bunch of ideas that I possess, or there's a belief system that I possess, but that's not how faith feels to me. It feels more like a longing. And I get the sense, an intimation of something just beyond my reach, some spiritual element, some force of love, and I just long for it. And the joy is not in the satisfaction of the longing, but the joy is in the longing itself. It's a good feeling to worship generosity itself. I think we're all impelled to explore the world in all its aspects. And if some people think, well, the world in all its aspects is, you know, neurons and carbon and land, continents and material things, believe me, I get that. But somehow, to me, that's not the whole picture.