Podcast Summary: "Why Young Men Are Struggling Right Now"

The Oprah Podcast with Scott Galloway
Date: December 2, 2025

Episode Overview

In this powerful episode, Oprah Winfrey and her guest, NYU professor and author Scott Galloway, tackle the urgent crisis facing young men in today’s society. With a live audience featuring a diverse group of young men and women, they discuss alarming statistics on loneliness, mental health, dating, masculinity, and the social/economic shifts uniquely impacting men. Galloway draws from his latest book, Notes on Being a Man, offering both sobering analysis and hopeful, actionable advice for men, parents, and society at large.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Loneliness Epidemic Among Young Men

• Opening Audience Reflections
  • Max, a 23-year-old NYU senior, explains that "young men, anger is really the only societally acceptable emotion that we can express...we kind of need a voice in this wilderness." (01:06)
  • Oprah and Max discuss the lack of open communication among young men about loneliness; most only express it privately via text.
    • Oprah: "I've never heard, you know, young men say, I am lonely." (01:59)

2. Role Models and the Importance of Mentorship

• Brandon: Emphasizes the need for positive male role models in communities, especially for boys growing up in single-parent homes (02:34).
• Scott Galloway:
  • Presents striking data: "One out of four men can't name a best friend. One out of seven men don't have a single friend." (04:30)
  • Stresses the single greatest predictor of a boy "coming off the tracks" is loss of a male role model due to death, divorce, or abandonment.
    • "We have an obligation to get involved in a young man's life, right? If we want better men, we have to be better men." (08:55)

3. Digital Technology's Harmful Impact

• Galloway:
  • Blames the loneliness crisis in part on technology "sequestering" young men from real relationships:
    • "You're up against the deepest pocketed, most talented companies in the world with godlike technology who are trying to...sequester you from your other relationships." (05:56)
    • "Enragement equals engagement equals shareholder value." (06:53)
  • Calls for limiting youth screen time and social media use, drawing on research by Jonathan Haidt.

4. Shifting Dynamics in Dating and Relationships

• Shocking Statistic
  • Oprah cites that "45% of men 18 to 25 have not engaged personally on asking a woman out for a date." (09:19)
• Galloway:
  • Explains why fewer men are dating, referencing the fear of rejection, shifting social norms, and pathologizing of male romantic interest.
  • Encourages celebration and healthy channeling of male desire:
    • "Men wanting to have relationships and making an approach—if you don't develop those skills...you're going to struggle in other parts of your life." (12:02)
    • Notable quote: "Anything wonderful in your life is going to have a lot of no’s. Full stop." (12:26)
  • Discusses the importance of resilience, being able to handle rejection, and developing "calluses" from it.

5. Scott Galloway's Personal Story & Lessons

• Raised by a single immigrant mother and largely absent father (12:52).
  • "The lesson I carry forward as a father: the best thing you can do to raise good men… is just to be a very loving, supportive partner." (13:32)
  • Affirms the enduring impact of a parent’s constant affirmation:
    • Oprah: "Having a good person express how wonderful you are hundreds of times actually tethers you in a way that nothing else can." (15:16)

6. Masculinity, Codes, and Societal Expectations

• The Need for a Personal Code
  • "Every man needs to develop a code, a series of adjectives or behaviors that guide and define his everyday behavior." (17:56)
• Three Tenets of Modern Masculinity
  • Provider, Protector, Procreator:
    • "If you are not economically viable as a man in this economy, in this society...you are going to struggle." (18:49)
    • "The ultimate expression of masculinity: planting trees the shade of which you will never sit under." (20:21)

7. The Economic & Social Headwinds Facing Young Men

• Galloway:
  • "We are holding 19-year-old men accountable for my privilege. They do not benefit from the same unfair advantage that I had." (22:33)
  • Argues that economic stagnation, rising housing and education costs, and lack of opportunity hit young men especially hard.

8. Mental Health, Vulnerability, and Purpose

• Brandon’s Viral Video
  • Shares his struggles with loneliness, suicidal ideation, and finding purpose through vulnerability and sharing his story (24:04).
  • His project, "The Mental Game," gives high-profile men a platform to talk openly about mental health.
• Galloway’s Three Keys to Attraction (29:17):
  • "There are three reasons women are attracted to men sexually...ability to signal resources, intellect (humor is fastest way to demonstrate this), and kindness."

9. The Path Forward: Solutions and Societal Change

• Policy Recommendations
  • Raise minimum wage to $25/hour
  • Universal childcare
  • Pell grants and accessible college
  • Vocational training and National Service, to help more young people find footing, independence, and opportunity (34:50).
  • "The greatest thing we could do about the loneliness crisis and the maiden crisis: put more money in your pockets, full stop." (37:54)
• Voting and Civic Engagement
  • Young people urged to get involved and vote for their own interests rather than allow an elderly political class to set the agenda (53:29).

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

On Technology and Rage (06:53):
Scott Galloway: "We used to think that it was sex that sells. Then the algorithms found something that sells even more in terms of gluing you to a screen. And that is rage. Enragement equals engagement equals shareholder value."

On Raising Confident Men (13:32):
Scott Galloway: "The best thing you can do to raise good men, quite frankly, is just to be a very loving, supportive partner...Your sons are going to notice that and going to model it."

On Kindness (29:17):
Scott Galloway: "The most underlevered secret weapon in mating: kindness. Because women instinctively know...they need someone who baseline is kind. Right. So a kindness practice."

On Rejection and Resilience (45:24):
Scott Galloway: "My superpower is rejection. Specifically, I'm willing to endure it...The ability to look in the mirror and go, that’s okay. We’re both gonna be fine. It’s everything."

On Toxic Masculinity (38:12):
Scott Galloway: "I don’t think there’s any such thing as toxic masculinity. I think there’s cruelty, there’s abuse of power, there’s violence. But masculinity is supposed to get in the way of those things."

Letter to His Sons (57:56):
Scott Galloway: "One, first and foremost, I want them to know how immensely I love them...more than anything, that they take care of their mom."

Audience Participation and Reflections

• Women’s Perspectives:
  Maria Claire voices heartbreak (not anger) over the dating crisis, sees Big Tech as the "enemy of community," and asks how men and women can support each other better. Galloway stresses the importance of getting out, being social, and not letting tech shape our perceptions or standards (40:18, 41:46).
• The Fear of Rejection:
  Jack asks for advice on enduring daily social rejections and building confidence.
  • Galloway: "You should be mentoring me. You're going to be just fine." (45:24)

Actionable Takeaways / Advice

• For Young Men:
  • Seek out real-world experiences and relationships; “say yes” to social invitations.
  • Develop resilience in facing rejection—practice and persistence are key.
  • Cultivate a “kindness practice,” showing generosity and care without expectation.
  • Work on economic independence and personal growth.
  • Find or become a mentor—every young man needs role models.
• For Parents:
  • Forgive yourself: many societal forces are outside your control (53:29).
  • Balance guidance with fostering independence; avoid overprotection but stay present.
• For Society:
  • Advocate for policies that address economic disparity and opportunity.
  • Support universal childcare, accessible education, and vocational training.
  • Provide more mentorship and community programs, especially for boys lacking male role models.

Important Timestamps

• [01:06] Max on loneliness and male emotional isolation
• [04:30] Galloway on male loneliness data
• [05:56] Galloway: Tech as the main foe of social connection
• [09:19] 45% of young men have never asked a woman out in person
• [13:32] Importance of modeling loving partnership
• [17:56] The need for a code and values in manhood
• [18:49] Economic viability and masculinity
• [22:33] Accountability and economic headwinds for young men
• [24:04] Brandon’s vulnerable viral video
• [29:17] Humor and kindness as keys to connection
• [38:12] Rejecting "toxic masculinity"—masculinity as protection
• [45:24] Galloway: Rejection as a superpower
• [57:56] Galloway’s letter to his sons—love, gratitude, and caring for their mother

Episode’s Core Messages

• The crisis facing young men is real, multi-faceted, and deeply rooted in economic, social, and technological changes.
• Relationships, resilience, and kindness—not achievement or material success—are the most important determinants of happiness and fulfillment.
• Both genders and all generations must work together to give young men better opportunities, healthier models, and the affirmation they desperately need.
• It's time to model positive masculinity, foster vulnerability, and act collectively to reshape our society for the better.

Closing Takeaways (59:00+)

"Be kind." - Audience Member
"Get out to the ballot box and vote, vote, vote." - Scott Galloway
"Be an active participant in the redefinition of masculinity." - Audience
"Go mentor a younger man." - Oprah

For those who haven’t listened:
This episode is an honest, hopeful, and essential exploration of the challenges young men face, why they matter to us all, and what we can do—individually and together—to meet them.