Hour 3: Live from the Oil Rig

Summary

The Paul Finebaum Show – Hour 3: Live from the Oil Rig

Date: August 12, 2026
Host: Paul Finebaum
Podcast: The Paul Finebaum Show (SEC / College Football)

---

Episode Overview

This lively third hour of The Paul Finebaum Show—broadcast live with energy "from the oil rig"—continues to showcase the unique blend of impassioned college football analysis with vibrant, often combative listener calls. Paul Finebaum moderates as regular callers trade personal barbs, share SEC insights, and debate college football’s changing landscape. Memorable moments include an ongoing mock-feud among regulars, discussions on SEC strength, NIL cash, and the latest drama in the show's infamous caller groups.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Oil Rig Storytelling & Callers’ Rivalries

[01:08–04:39]

• Squirrel’s Oil Rig Tales: Squirrel opens with stories from his days working on an oil rig, including a grueling 23-day hitch:

  “Man, I was hallucinating on day 22 and 23.” – Squirrel [01:41]

• Caller Feuds: Squirrel teases nemesis Johnny B. over lifestyle choices and pokes fun at other frequent callers’ lack of actual college football playing experience:

  “I just find it ironic that some of our callers...all them dudes were too scared to get out there on Saturdays and play with grown men.” – Squirrel [03:45]

2. Community Support and Health Journeys

[04:50–05:57]

• Vance’s Personal Update: Vance shares positive news—his oncologist has taken him off cancer medication, sparking supportive encouragement from Paul and fellow callers:

  “I’m kind of happy about that for the moment. Paul, you know, you take what you can get and be happy for it.” – Vance [05:21]

• Marriage Joke: Vance lightens the segment with a joke about marriage's symbolism:

  “Marriage starts out with a heart and a diamond, and when it ends, you’re looking for a club and a spade.” – Vance [06:29]

3. Caller Banter, SEC Debates, and South Georgia Geography

[07:14–09:51]

• SEC Opinions: Discussion continues about Swamp Dog’s “flip-flop” on Texas vs. Georgia picks.

  “If I could make a confession...about two minutes into the call, I literally quit listening to everything he said.” – Paul Finebaum [07:47]

• Georgia Geography: Talk shifts to Waycross, GA—its heat, lack of attractions, and high school football reputation. Vance highlights Valdosta High as the winningest high school:

  “Valdosta High School has still won the most high school football games of any team in the nation.” – Vance [09:32]

4. The Chris v. Paul Saga: Did Chris Quit?

[12:03–13:27]

• Chris Calls In, Irate: Upset over a claim Paul made about him quitting, Chris defends his reputation:

  “But you a bold face liar. You gonna get on TV yesterday and say I quit this show.” – Chris [12:13]
  “But y’all got me high talking about I quit. I ain’t quitting nothing.” – Chris [13:11]

5. Issues of Program Legacy & Coaching (FSU & Tennessee)

[13:44–16:31]

• Eddie’s Perspective: Commends Florida A&M’s focus on culture, laments FSU missing an opportunity with Charlie Ward, and discusses T. Martin’s fleeting moment at Tennessee. Advocates leveraging alumni legacies for program strength.

  “If you want to bring your program back and look at the glory days, I think you gotta kind of invest in that.” – Eddie [16:00]

6. More Caller Drama: Humor, Outcasts & Group Dynamics

[17:24–20:44]

• Caller Rivalries: Continued banter about the show's ecology of regulars, including humorous accusations, theories about South Carolina’s animosity toward Clemson, and speculation over listener podcast ambitions (e.g., "Tulsa Teletubby Queen Podcast").
• Social Club Maneuverings: Handsome Joe announces a “Regulator” has been sent to the “transfer portal”—Brian is a free agent, apparently for Teletubbies references:

  “He’s a good guy...it just wasn’t kicking it, but the Teletubby, that just did it, Paul.” – Handsome Joe [26:22]
  Paul quips:
  “Has anyone ever been kicked out of the Regulators?” [26:41]
  And:
  “I can pretty well tell you [joining the Black Catters is] not happening.” – Paul [27:30]

7. Name, Image, Likeness (NIL) Money & College Football

[37:39–40:05]

• Caller Brad: Reacts to a recent NIL-focused segment and the sums involved:

  “If you sign a one year NIL deal...for a million dollars, that’s $83,000 a month. You’re 18...making a paycheck. That is a ton of money, Paul.” – Brad [38:36]

• Brad also clues in listeners that “gravel on his cul de sac” means keeping some hair as you age.

8. College Football Trivia and Mascot Lore

[36:22–37:30]

• Disney’s Donald Duck as Oregon Mascot:

  “What’s the only Walt Disney character that is a mascot for a college football team?...Donald Duck.” – Caller [36:32 & 36:47]
  Paul admits:
  “I don’t know why I didn’t know that, but since I work for the Walt Disney Company...” [37:30]

9. Show Community & Support

[22:48–24:11]

• Matt in San Antonio: Shares mental health progress, supportive messages from Paul and John; warm atmosphere among listeners:

  “I just wanted to call in and tell you guys that I love you guys. You're like family to me.” – Matt [23:12]
  “You know how many friends you have here.” – Paul [23:37]

• Callers rally with well wishes, emphasizing the show’s community side.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Squirrel (on oil rig life): “Man, I was hallucinating at the day 22 and 23.” [01:41]
• Vance (on quitting cancer meds): “I’m kind of happy about that for the moment. Paul, you know, you take what you can get and be happy for it.” [05:21]
• Chris (on ‘quitting’ the show): “You a bold face liar. You gonna get on TV yesterday and say I quit this show.” [12:13]
• Paul (mock weary of caller drama): “Has anyone ever been kicked out of the Regulators?” [26:41]
• Handsome Joe (on Teletubby firing): “…the fastball just ain't there, Paul. And the Teletubby part, that's what sealed it in.” [26:22]
• Caller Brad (NIL money): “That's $83,000 a month. And you’re 18...making a paycheck.” [38:36]
• Matt in San Antonio (on show community): “I love you guys. You're like family to me.” [23:12]

---

Key Segments & Timestamps

• [01:08] – Squirrel’s oil rig stories, playful caller sparring
• [04:50] – Vance’s health update & marriage joke
• [12:03] – Chris adamantly denies quitting
• [16:00] – Eddie on legacy coaches and culture
• [22:48] – Matt in San Antonio’s supportive check-in
• [25:57] – Handsome Joe: “Regulator” Brian fired over Teletubbies
• [36:22] – College football mascot trivia (Donald Duck)
• [37:39] – Brad discusses NIL pay and “gravel on the cul de sac”

---

Conclusion

This episode is classic Paul Finebaum Show: equal parts banter, community, and SEC football obsession. The unique cast of regular callers—sometimes at odds, sometimes supportive—brings personality and unpredictability, while Paul’s deadpan reactions and quick wit keep things entertaining. Discussions flow from oil rig life to NIL millions, from college football tradition to running show gags. While not heavy on technical football analysis this hour, the show shines in its organic, caller-driven engagement with the subculture of southern college football passionate fandom.

Transcript

[Uber Eats Announcer]

You know those tiny back to school emergencies that somehow become your problem. That's why I love Uber Eats. You can order school supplies, snacks and lunchbox essentials for $5 or less. So when your kid casually drops, I don't like peanut butter anymore or I need five green highlighters for a project due tomorrow, Uber Eats has you covered. Get everything you need for back to school today from your favorite brands like Aldi and Staples on Uber Eats. Order now ends 97. $5 or less before taxes and fees. Select items only. Availability varies. See app for details.

[Paul Feinbaum]

The pride, passion and pageantry of college football lives here. This is the Paul Feinbaum Show. Our three podcasts.

[Chris]

This might be college football.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

We are back. Third hour of the program. We appreciate it. We are taking your phone calls here. 885-524-22-7285 more guests later on. It's been a busy one so far. We open the hour up by heading to Squirrel. Hello, Squirrel.

[Squirrel]

Hey, thank you for taking my call. And it was great to hear Darrell from the oil rig call back in yesterday. And 14 and 7, that's what I worked when I worked out there. And those last three days, three or four days are along the long part of the hitch. You think you can handle two weeks offshore Squirrel?

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

You know how I am. I'm always honest. No, I don't think there's a snowball chance. And you know where I could.

[Vance]

One time.

[Squirrel]

This is a true story. I had upset my boss, no need to tell you why, but he sent me out on a job and he told me to stay out there till it finished. And if I came in, I was fired. And I managed, I managed to stay 23 days. That was the longest I ever stayed out there. That was. Man, I was hallucinating at the day 22 and 23. So I had to come in. But you know, I've been trying to be a little discreet, but Johnny, Johnny Purburg busted me yesterday with the hat thing. I guess, you know, I'm just trying to be more like him, what can I say? And I wanted to see what the life of an underachiever was like. So I bought me that hat. And I'm divorcing my wife for 38 years so I can be a single loser like Johnny. And if you recall, I was the one that gave Johnny Pervert that name. And it's a well deserved name, by the way.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

He earned it.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Now, Squirrel, I happened to. I happened to just be zipping through social media last night. You can tell what a life I have And I saw some major shots about you from him.

[Squirrel]

Oh, yeah, he's after me. He's got his granddaddy in Tuscaloosa fired up after me too, and all that. But no, I'm actually, like I said, like he says, I'm trying to be like him. I actually sold my house on the beach and I bought me a mobile home out in the middle of a pasture. But I've got more class than Johnny B. I bought me a double wide mobile home instead of a single wife. And I don't know who it was last year in Tuscaloosa during, when you were there on game day that made the decision to keep Johnny B. Outside the fence. I don't know if it was you or espn, ESPN Security, but I wanted to applaud whoever made that decision. That was a wide decision. And apparently I said something yesterday that kind of threw him when I said that, you know, I think the coach is okay. I think maybe the players need to step up. And Johnny seemed to have a real issue with that. But to explain myself a little more, Johnny, that was just a perspective, the perspective of a former college football player. That's why I said that. I wouldn't expect you to have that perspective, Johnny, because you never played. Dude, you were scared to get out there on Saturday. And I just find it ironic that some of our callers, like these guys are physically gifted like Johnny's. You seen him 6, 4, 6, 5. And Jim supposedly 6, 4, 6, 5 Chris is big. 6, 4, 6, 5, dude. All them dudes were too scared to get out there on Saturdays and play with grown men. So I find that really hilarious. But yet a little 59 safety from Oak Ridge wasn't scared. And again, every time I poke him in the eye with that stick, it's just funny. But I hope Johnny keeps calling in. Every time I see his fat, alcohol soaked face on the screen, it makes me chuckle. So, Johnny, keep calling in. You make my day.

[Caller]

Aloha.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Quite a. Quite a call there. Let's check in with Vance, who is in Georgia up next.

[Vance]

Hey, Paul. I went to my oncologist today. They took me off my cancer medication.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Really?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

How'd that happen?

[Vance]

Well, that was started. It's. It's caused me to have several bad side effects throughout the years and operations and stuff. And now it's affecting my teeth and she said to quit taking it. And I said I'll gladly do that. So I'm kind of happy about that for the moment. Paul, you know, you. You take what you can get and be happy for it.

[Matt]

No, I.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Listen, I understand. I mean, I don't understand, unfortunately, but I know. Yeah, I mean, I do understand taking that. That daily medication, but I hope you're able to do okay without it.

[Vance]

So far, it seems like, you know, everything I have hinges on blood work. And you know what my white blood cell count is? That's. That's. My whole battle is white blood cell count. But enough of that, okay? I like Squirrel's hat. I don't care if Johnny B. Wears one or not, or I'll wear one. I think it looks good.

[Handsome Joe]

But is it.

[Vance]

Was he serious about his wife and him divorcing?

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

No, he was not.

[Chris]

Oh, good.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

You know, I can't always decipher calls, but I know Johnny. I know Squirrel well, I know his wife. And what he was trying to say was, I can't. I'm going to be just like Johnny and do this and that and then divorce my wife.

[Vance]

Oh, I see. So I was once again about as

[Handsome Joe]

sharp as a water balloon.

[Vance]

I didn't quite put that one together.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

That is correct.

[Vance]

Remind me of a little. I was going to say a little riddle about marriage. I don't think it applies to Squirrel. Now, it might apply to some others. I'm sure you've heard it. Marriage starts out with a heart and a diamond, and when it ends, you're looking for a club in a spade.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

A good one. I like it.

[Vance]

I heard the. I was gonna call back in yesterday, but I said, no, don't do that. Don't bother these callers. There were some great calls and I did hear you rack my man. Brian. Yeah, from. I'm like, all right, good.

[Handsome Joe]

Now the act.

[Vance]

The earth's axis is on the proper kilter again. And I was going to ask, you know, you were having that swamp, swamp man, swamp dog called up and kind of giving you down the road about your apparent pick of Texas, but. And lack of knowledge about Georgia. Yeah. And did you catch that half, you know, a quarter of the way through the conversation, he then agreed with you that his pick was also Texas.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

If I. If I could make a confession to you, just you and me. About a. About two minutes into the call, I literally quit listening to everything he said.

[Vance]

Well, I'm not trying to make sport of him. I just.

[Handsome Joe]

I'm like, wait a minute, you know, you're agreeing with Paul's pick?

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

I missed. I missed that.

[Augie]

Have you ever been to Waycross?

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Now is Waycross in south East Georgia.

[Handsome Joe]

It's, it's, it's.

[Vance]

It's It's. Yes, it's down there.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Okay.

[Vance]

I.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

And I don't think I have the only time I've ever really. I mean, I've been most places in Georgia, but I was in Gainesville once.

[Vance]

Oh, that's right by me.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

So it was right after 9 11, it was about three weeks later. And I got on the plane at 6:30 in the morning or something and they said we're canceling the flight. So I had to get back to do our show. So I drove from Gainesville to Valdosta.

[Vance]

Oh, that's a crappy drive.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

It wasn't good, I can assure you. So I don't know if I came close to Waycross, but I saw a lot of that part of Georgia which really ought to be in Florida.

[Vance]

Well, I can tell you about Waycross because there would be absolutely no reason for you to spend any time there. And it's beyond hot. They've had some darn good high school football teams. They tend to be very small and super fast, but they're basically right in the Okefenokee Swamp.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Okay.

[Augie]

And.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

Oh, man.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

No, I just checked. I have not been to Waycross. I just. It's nowhere near Valdosta, so I would have missed it.

[Vance]

Well, I was just curious and you know, you talked about our man Jerry Faust went to Notre Dame and he was very successful at Cincinnati Molder. But, you know, to this day, which is hard to believe, Valdosta High School has still won the most high school football games of any team in the nation.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Oh, no, that. I mean, you got Valdosta, you got Tifton, you got some incredible high school football down there. Thank you for the call. We're up against the break. We are coming right back.

[Ethos Announcer]

Life insurance is one of those things that's easy to put off because it doesn't feel urgent today. But it's not just another financial box to check. It's about having a plan in place so if life throws something unexpected at your family, they're not left dealing with the financial side without support. Ethos makes getting life insurance fast and easy. It's 100% online, so you can get a quote in seconds, apply in minutes, and get same day coverage. There's no medical exam. You just answer a few simple health questions. Online, you can get up to $3 million in coverage, and some policies start as low as $30 a month. Ethos has also earned strong customer feedback with a 4.8 out of 5 star rating on Trustpilot based on more than 4,000 reviews. Take 10 minutes to get covered today with life insurance through Ethos. Get your free', @ethos.com sports. That's ethos.com sports application. Times may vary. Rates may vary. Trustpilot rating as of June 1, 2025, the world's biggest soccer tournament has arrived and you can trade the entire tournament on Kalshi. On Kalshi, you can trade every match from the opening stage all the way to the final. France is currently trading at 17% to win it all, meaning a $100 trade pays out over $550 if they win soccer's biggest prize. On Kalshi, you're trading against peers in a live market, meaning there's no house and as the probability changes, you can buy in and out of your position for a limited time. Download the Kalshi app and use code FC to get $10 when you trade 10k a l shi call she trade on anything 18 plus only restrictions and eligibility requirements apply. Event contract trading involves risk and may not be suitable for all investors. Prices, values and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see callshee.com regulatory.

[Paul Feinbaum]

You're listening to the Paul Feinbaum show podcast.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Back in. Chris is up next from South Carolina.

[Chris]

Hey, let's get this, go ahead and

[Augie]

get this right here.

[Handsome Joe]

Out the way, Paul, because I, because

[Chris]

I, I'm a straight shooter. I believe in the truth. But you a bold face liar. You gonna get on TV yesterday and say I quit this show.

[Augie]

You.

[Chris]

Nobody else can make me quit do anything I want to quit that I want to do. Paul, I ain't been calling in because I'm not like your your other callers. I ain't like put my business on here to get sympathy.

[Augie]

Nah.

[Chris]

If I couldn't call in because I was busy, I was doing something or I had some medical procedure. But for you to say that I quit because you hurt my feelings. I put nicotine out of business because they couldn't stop me from making making me stop smoking. Chris. Chris quit anything. Paul. I thought she was a straight shooter. Why you want to lie so much? Jim is right. I didn't believe it. But I do believe because you told a bold face lie and I ain't quitting nothing. And Squirrel, let me tell you something.

[Augie]

Squirrel.

[Chris]

Yeah, you.

[Augie]

You are a lame caller.

[Chris]

You try to copy everything everybody else do and then you want to get on here and poke fun with your

[Handsome Joe]

other lame buddy with the big ears

[Chris]

and that's what you do. But y' all got me high talking about I quit. I Ain't quitting nothing. I go where I want to, do what I want to do. You can quit taking my calls, but you can never make me quit.

[Augie]

Paul.

[Chris]

You have a nice day.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

I'm sorry, Chris. I do apologize. It was wishful thinking, thinking you would quit. Eddie is up next.

[Caller Eddie]

Hey, Mr. Paul Feinbaum. Great to be on your platform today,

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

and thank you, Eddie.

[Handsome Joe]

Chris.

[Caller Eddie]

Chris, I hope you're doing well, man. I'm guessing it was a medical procedure. Unfortunately, you were still able to use your fingers and dial in. But just let's ease up on the madness a little bit, man. Take it easy. It's all gonna be all right. But, Paul, you had a. A lot of great shows the past couple of weeks, and I just been kind of sitting back, and I went on vacation a little bit, and I was relaxing and listening, and one of my favorites was the FAMU Florida.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Oh, yeah.

[Caller Eddie]

He was great that you had on. And he. He talked a whole.

[Caller John]

A whole lot about.

[Caller Eddie]

What he talked about was like, building culture and sustaining that. And he was talking about how the reminders that they have around the building to. To keep the current players kind of combined with the past to keep everything together. And yesterday, you kind of hit on something else that was right on that, on board with that same thing. Yesterday, he was talking about the year after Peyton Manning left, T. Martin won the championship. And it all kind of goes together with the point that I'm trying to make. Charlie Ward, he's right there coaching the basketball team down there. But as far as Florida State, I think that that's the opportunity that they missed, and they kind of passed it up. I don't know what they're going to do in the future, but I would love to hear if he had any interest in coaching college football and being a Heisman Trophy winner and a national champion there. I think that as far as the foundation, I think that he could put things in place as well as T. Martin. T. Martin was in the building in Tennessee, and I don't know how they let him get out the building, but they got his statue out there. But if you want to kind of bring your program back and look at the glory days, I think you got to kind of invest in that. But I want to kind of talk about Janet B. As well, because last week, and I ain't trying to just jump on squirrel coattail there, but last week Johnny B. Called in, and he was mad at Caleb in Alabama. Then the next day he called in and he was comparing Alabama to. To Georgia. And next day Came the board was a complete loser and trying to be you.

[Caller John]

You.

[Caller Eddie]

You probably I'm gonna call you Johnny B. Because I hadn't hit that other level with you. So I'm respect that. But I know that you've been on the platform with Candace a little bit. And I just want you to know that Sarge is out there as well

[Matt]

and

[Caller Eddie]

one of those guys. I hear this alcohol thing going on. Sarge has a bourbon look kind of sewer thing. But I would love for you to tell us a little bit about that as well as Candace, if you're out there, tell us about that date that

[Handsome Joe]

you and Sarge had.

[Caller Eddie]

As far as Auburn, Paul, all the Auburn fans calling her. I heard J.D.

[Squirrel]

the other day.

[Caller Eddie]

Auburn is losing their series with Vanderbilt.

[Vance]

All right.

[Caller Eddie]

So you probably just need to worry about Auburn and where Auburn can do. AJ I hear you directing traffic. It's very hot out here. I passed by construction zone. I seen a guy out there, he had on his little skinny blue jeans and his heart hat on backwards and he was singing Miss Sheila's War Down Eagle. So I thought it was you. Unfortunately, I was wrong. But I'm glad to see that you're doing well. I hope everybody takes it easy on you. And in the space the other night, I was happy to hear you do your Jerry Maguire. And somebody mentioned monetized. So you went to the show me the money and I love black people.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Long is up next.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

Well, based on today's show, I guess I'll start it out by saying shalom, Paul. I hope you're well.

[Handsome Joe]

I know.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Shalom. Shalom,

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

boy. Is there any mystery to any of the callers out there? While South Carolina hates Clemson so bad, can you imagine a state full of Chris's. Dismal. Dismal. But Paul, I gotta be honest. I'm sorry, sir.

[Vance]

Go ahead.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

I said he is just that one angry guy. And I. I don't know why I. I said that he quit. I just thought he had. And like I said a minute ago, it just. Sometimes you let your. Your dreams and fantasies come out.

[Squirrel]

Yeah.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

And there's not going to be any of the those this year for the Tigers. I just don't know if anybody hugged him when he was little.

[Caller John]

I don't know.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

But I wanted to call in today and I'm gonna make this quick, but I want to congratulate a caller. And then I wanted advice. Two callers. And then I had a question also with one of the callers. Brad called in yesterday and likes to keep a lot of Gravel on his cul de sac. What does that mean?

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Long. I am sorry. I don't live in Macon, Georgia, so I don't know the nuances.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

That's all you gotta say. Let's leave it at that. Because, I mean, I just. I mean, I hate when I feel like I didn't get something. And I had no idea I could.

[Handsome Joe]

I was like, what? The only thing I would tell Brad

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

is that if he ever goes to a bar and they're having dwarf tossing that night, he might not want to go in. And to my new favorite best friend, Brian. Brian, I know you have been through a long and challenging battle with employment, but guess what? This is my advice. I think I got it for you, my friend. Based on your love and incredible knowledge of Teletubbies, I think you should do a podcast to show your passion and love for Teletubbies. And I got a name for it. The Tulsa Teletubby Queen podcast. What do you think of that, Paul? Am I on to something?

[Augie]

This could.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

This might take Brian from the doghouse to the penthouse.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Yeah. No, you gotta.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

I mean, his mama's house to anywhere.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

You nailed it. Yeah.

[Chris]

Oh, thank you.

[Caller Eddie]

I'm sorry.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

And then finally, big congrats goes out to Handsome Joe. Joe and Sarge were at dinner the other night at Red Lobster.

[Caller Eddie]

I can't remember whose birthday.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

I know it was Sarge's birthday. And Joe got him what he wanted, the 2026 not for Kids John Matiere calendar. And then Handsome Joe, the lonesome one, announced to Sarge, and I'm here to break the news because I read the tweet. Handsome Joe will be entering the 2027 WNBA Draft. You heard it here first. I hope you have a good night.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

We are coming right back. We think. We hope.

[Found Announcer]

When was the last time you felt in control of your business? Finances, Expenses tracked, invoices sent, taxes ready. That's where Found comes in. Found brings your banking, bookkeeping, invoicing and taxes together in one simple app. Manage expenses, invoice clients, send payments, and prep for tax time right where you bank. Join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with Found. Open a Found account for [e-mail] that's f o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services provided by lead bank member fdic.

[Ethos Announcer]

If you've shopped online, chances are you've bought from a business powered by Shopify. You know that purple shop pay button you see at checkout? The one that makes buying so incredibly Easy. That's Shopify. And there's a reason so many businesses sell with it. Because Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your business. Shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just started. Shopify gives you a leg up with hundreds of beautiful ready to go templates to express your brand style and forget about the code. Tackle all those important tasks in one place. From inventory to payments to analytics and more. Spread your brand's word with built in marketing and email tools to find and keep new customers. And did I mention that iconic purple shop pay button that's used by millions of businesses around the world? It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. Your customers already love it. If you want to see less carts being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com network. Go to shopify.com network, shopify.com network.

[Paul Feinbaum]

You're listening to the Paul Feinbaum show podcast.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Great to have all of you with us. Matt in San Antonio is.

[Matt]

Hey buddy, how you been?

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Matt.

[Matt]

I was calling in to let you guys know that I'm doing a little bit better. Paul. Gonna go see an in person counselor and in person psychiatrist from now on. You need my case transferred over from San Antonio to Denton so I can get a job up there and try to move back home.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

That's fantastic.

[Matt]

I just, I just wanted to call in and tell you guys that I love you guys. You're like family to me. I know it's been difficult maybe a little bit for you guys to hear them still dealing with it so much. But I just wanted to thank you for at least being here with the journey with me and the callers.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

You know how many friends you have here and I hope this continues to be successful and I hope you'll stay in touch with us.

[Matt]

I will when I get him. When I meet a girl. I've been talking to her online dating. It's. She's real. Yes. We were text matching but I told her about you too, Paul. Well, I hope she wants to meet you.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Well, I will be in Texas this year so maybe we can make that happen here.

[Matt]

We can. All right, I'll catch you guys later. I love you guys a lot.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

We feel the same. Matt, you beat you be good and give your your new friend our best. Thank you very, very much. John is up next. In St. Louis.

[Caller John]

Hey, Paul, I was going to say something mean tonight, but I'm not because Matt just kind of hit the home run here. And Matt, Sec Nation wishes you well. And Matt, your number one and keep calling in this show because that's the kind of callers we need on your show. Paul, thank you and good night.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Handsome Joe is up next.

[Handsome Joe]

Roll, Ty, Roll, Paul, Bob, and hey, it's good to hear Matt call in. I'll tell you what, there ain't many days go by that I don't think about him falling. You know, he's always in my thoughts and prayer. You know, whatever life going through, whatever he's going through. Paul, I've got four quick, four real quick things. The first is just roll down tide roll. And the number two. And I just want to say this to, to long, I mean, Paul, I don't, I don't worry about anything on short stuff. Long says Paul, because you know what? He just fake news. He's fake news, short stuff. That's all he is, fake news, short stuff. And Paul, third, number three, that guy you had over Tuscaloosa a while ago or just earlier in the show? I can't, I can't remember his name. I'm not good with names. But Paul, he made a lot of sense right there, and I agree with everything he said, because if you don't show up, that, that line, I mean, if you can't block somebody, I mean, you got, you're in for a long season. You've got to block Paul. I mean, we can't just depend on. You can do it, but you don't want to depend on just your defense winning games for you. You've got to, you've got to be able to knock them off the ball. And Paul, number four. I got some regulator news. Paul, we had to send, we sent one of our, one of our own

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

into the transfer portal.

[Handsome Joe]

So, you know, we had an executive vote yesterday. You know, we've sent Brian. You know, Brian's a free agent now.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Okay, hold on, hold on. You gotta, you gotta help me here. So I know you're being polite, but you're telling us that Brian got ejected from the, from the regulators. Is that correct?

[Handsome Joe]

That's correct.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

That's correct.

[Handsome Joe]

And he's, he's a good guy. I'm not going to down cut him. Apollo. Let's just be, you know, he just. The fastball just ain't there, Paul. And the Teletubby part, that just, you know, that, that's, that's what that's what sealed it in. I notified him last night of the decision, and so he's a free agent,

[Vance]

you know, so somebody out there, Listen,

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

has anyone ever been kicked out of the Regulators?

[Handsome Joe]

That's the first. That's the first, so I'll just leave it at that. The first we've had member Adrian, you know, the Black Cat has stole her from us one time. So, you know, so. But that's the first time we just had to make a, you know, a decision. And it wasn't just. It wasn't just my decision. It was several of us, and it was just, just. It was just making us all, you know, you know, you could be friends fall. And I told Brian last night. I sent him a message and I

[Caller John]

said, you know what?

[Handsome Joe]

I'm still your friend, but it just ain't, you know, it just. The fastball just ain't there no more. So, you know, Paul, you. You, you know, you. You're here every day, so you. You know what I mean, it just. It just ain't there. But I wish Brian the best. And, you know, maybe the Black Catters might, you know, may be interested.

[Squirrel]

I don't know.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

You know, I can't speak for the Black Catters Handsome Joe, but I can pretty well tell you that's not happening.

[Handsome Joe]

Well, I mean, it just, you know, like I said, I wish him the best and I hope he keeps calling in, but just, you know, he knows he should. He should know what he needs to work on. Paul, you know, I tried to tell him a little bit last night.

[Matt]

What?

[Handsome Joe]

You know, it just the, the, you know, it's, you know, the Teletubby that just did it, Paul. Because I don't. Who the hell know what a Teletubby is? I mean, that's just, you know, I had to. I had to search it up because when he first come up with the tinky winky, I didn't know.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Yeah, Teletubbies, I mean, I didn't. Isn't like 30 or 40 years ago that was a thing.

[Handsome Joe]

I think so. I remember seeing it on tv, but that was like my son watching it. My son, like 40 now. So, you know, that's so. I don't. I didn't. I didn't get the reverence. And, you know, you call somebody a dumbass or something, you know, we're adults now. It's adults in the room. But anyway, I wish the best for Brian, but, you know, we just had to cut him loose. Paul. It just. It just. It just wasn't kicking it but I was going, I was going to zoom call in before I'm actually outside and been working out in the yard and like I said I had to go to the doctor so I had to run somebody to the doctor and so I'm outside and it's just sun's glared down. There ain't no way to zoom call in that not, not outside like this. But I called in Paul and I just you know just wanted. Just wanted to in case any rumor started fry I started flying not frying flying bride is no longer regulator.

[Caller John]

So Paul.

[Handsome Joe]

Anyway peace. Roll tight. Roll brother.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Okay. The first regulator fired right here live on the show. Elliott is up next.

[Caller]

Paul. Paul. Fine, Bob. Thank you for taking my call. Hey, I stand with Chris in the 1 percenters. That's what I'm here for and portray my message is simple. I think that the SEC strength of schedule is rated overrated on the SEC side and they disparage the big really simple. But that's not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is this Rubio and Congress trying to get this save. Nobody's saving college football, Paul. Because here's what happened is that Tony Petitti agreed along with Greg Sankey on the, on the pages and then what. What did that say? It said that the conferences couldn't move. They couldn't move for five years and then at the last minute they slip it in The Belders is 180 day window. What does that do for the SEC? It lets them get Miami, it lets them get Florida State and Ohio State stays with this one slot to try to get Notre Dame. So I don't think this is going through at all ever because I don't think Tony Katiti would ever want that. He wanted the big Disney package super conference. There's. There's too much politics and that's the problem when you rely on Congress to save college football. It becomes a last minute push through and politics to go against the Big Ten.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Thank you for the call. Darrell is up next in Texas. Hey Darrell.

[Vance]

Hello.

[Handsome Joe]

How you doing, Paul?

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Hey there.

[Handsome Joe]

I just wanted to correct Mr. Long who seems to be real short on creative thinking the other day when Brad said that he likes to keep a little gravel on his cul de sac. He just meant he likes to keep a little hair on his head. But that flew right over Long's head because he doesn't. He needs to do like a preacher. I heard say one time, think twice and you'll be the genius in your family. Have a good day. Pa.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Thank you. Augie is the genius in his family, and he is next.

[Chris]

Kip Kiefer. Kip Kiefer. Kip Kiefer.

[Augie]

Paul, I have not heard that name in a long time, so I feel. Feel compelled to throw it out there. But, you know, I was going to ask you if you had heard from Matt from San Antonio, and lo and behold, Matt calls in. I hadn't heard him in a long time. So, Matt, if you're out there, we're thinking about you, buddy. And miss you calling in because I. There is no Texas A and M guy out there carrying the laundry for him, so you got to do it. But, Paul, did I hear that Chris quit the show? I didn't think he was a quitter, but I saw where he quit the show all over social media.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Well, I said that yesterday that he had quit because he didn't like the way he was being treated because he hasn't called in a week or two. And the last time he called, he called me a liar and all the things that he just got through saying. And then you saw the post where he tweeted at his. He called him the goat, talking about the artist formerly known as Jim from Tuscaloosa. And he said, you were right. Feinbaum's a liar, insinuating that he had quit the show. I'm not calling there. Then he called, then I said that. And then he calls in to tell

[Augie]

you he didn't quit the show to

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

tell you that I was a liar because I said he quit the show

[Augie]

and that you weren't going to run him off. No matter how hard you try, he

[Chris]

will not be wrong.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Let me ask you a question, Augie. I realize this is not like giving sworn testimony, but is saying somebody quits the fine bomb show and the person then calls in, does that really qualify? It's not perjury, of course, because I didn't. But it doesn't really feel like that's a lie. That's a true statement that got undone by the person who originally said he had done it.

[Augie]

How many times, though, has Chris quit the show? Remember, he went off on you one day in a very vehement, very denigrating way. Remember, he was calling you all kinds of unsavory names. He said he quit, but then he called back again. He apologized. He's quitting again.

[Chris]

Now.

[Augie]

Does that remind you of somebody in the past? Oh, I'm back tomorrow.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

I don't remember, because.

[Augie]

Okay.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

You know, somebody once quit the show about 30 or 40 or 50 or 100 or 3 thousand times.

[Augie]

How can you really quit a show when you were never really admitted into any kind of an organization? You just stop the show, really. But Paul, I gotta say, I want to congratulate Bash on hitting puberty. Did you notice that he hit puberty? Can you tell? His voice is cracking. It's becoming.

[Vance]

It sounds.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

I think he's. Remember that song by Taylor Swift, 22. I think he's getting close.

[Augie]

So congratulations, Bash. Now you can go into an R rated movie without having to pull out your driver's license. So that's great. And did I, did I miss something? Did Bash say he was once arrested? Or is that just something somebody made up to confuse?

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

By the way, if you, if you made up the fact that Bash was arrested, you're not really going. That you're not really taking a chance.

[Augie]

Well, I didn't know if there was any truth to that.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Sound like, did he say that? I thought he did. But listen, I'd hate to testify to something that I'm not 100% sure of.

[Augie]

All right, well, anyway, sorry that Chris has quit the show. I will always look forward to his inning calls that repeat themselves over and over. But you know, Paul, maybe it'll be enlightening to give John from St. Louis more opportunities. Needs to speak because he's got a lot to say. Thanks, Paul.

[Vance]

Yeah.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Breaking news. Apparently Chris has, I think has made an offer to Brian after being fired by the regulators to join his 1 percenters. We are coming back guests ahead, more of your phone calls. A very busy Wednesday.

[Grainger Announcer]

As you know, managing maintenance, repair and operations is never easy. But for the ones who always rise to the challenge, Granger has your back. From professional grade products you can count on to fast, dependable delivery, they're there to help you keep things running smoothly. Plus their technical product specialists are here to help answer your toughest questions. And because Grainger knows safety is always a priority, they're committed to being your partner in protecting both your people and your facilities. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by.

[Vivgard Announcer]

I like things my way. My coffee, my schedule and my treatment. So I talked to my doctor about self injecting with the Vivgard Hytrulo pre filled syringe which contains fgartigamide alpha and hyaluronidase qvfc. It's injected under your skin subcutaneously. It means I can inject in my space on my time. It's my treatment my way. Visit vivgardmyway.com that's V Y V G A R T myway.com and talk to your doctor about Vivgard Hytrulo. Brought to you by Argenics.

[Paul Feinbaum]

You're listening to the Paul Feinbaum show podcast.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

We are back and Paul is up next in California. Hey, Paul. Good afternoon.

[Caller John]

Hey, how are you?

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

We're doing great, thank you.

[Caller John]

Yeah.

[Handsome Joe]

Okay, so I got a little trivia for you.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Okay.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

What's the only Walt Disney character that is a mascot for a college football team?

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

I don't know.

[Vance]

Oregon.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

Donald Duck.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Oh, you know, I was thinking of the, the hockey team in San Jose. Are they the Duck?

[Handsome Joe]

We're talking Oregon football. Donald Duck.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

I guess the president of. The president of the university was good

[Handsome Joe]

friends with Walt Disney.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Okay.

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

They made a deal. So I did not know Donald Duck. He's in Oregon gear. It's awesome. The other question is this.

[Vance]

Three

[Caller (possibly Brian or another regular)]

Best Fight Songs.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Hey, Paul, thanks for the call. I don't know why I didn't know that, but since I work for the Walt Disney Company, Brad is up next in Georgia. Hey, Brad.

[Caller John]

Thanks, Mr. Paul. And Oregon football, how entertaining was that? Yeah, Paul, I'm going to tell you something, man. Squirrel came in here packing some heat today, didn't he?

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

He did

[Caller John]

one of the most entertaining phone calls of the show by far. And I got tell squirrel this. 38 years being married to the same woman is quite an accomplishment. Kathy. Ms. Kathy and I have been married for 38 years too. So congratulations on that. But Paul, I like the interview with the guy that was giving the money out, telling the money about positional, the positions, what they get paid. And I mean, if you sign a one year nil deal. Portal, portal, whichever one one year deal for a million dollars, that's $83,000 a month. I mean, you're 18 years old or up to 24 and you're making a paycheck. 83,000amonth just on a meal. That is a ton of money, Paul. And it's like William from Maryville. I do agree with him. These kids have no idea how to invest, invest their money and what to do with it. But Paul, that leads me to long and long. I wasn't going to do this. I was going to give you a day off. But let me explain it to you. If you got a little hair left on the top, we call that gravel. So, you know, we got the cold. Me and Mr. Paul have the cul de sac covered, but I got still a little growth on top.

[Chris]

So I keep it.

[Caller John]

I like it. And it's going to be here with me. But whoever signed your nil deal, now that was a bad deal. It's the nil deal from hell. Because who in the world can live rent free in the bottom of the basement not putting out for utilities or food. Man, what a deal that is. What a deal that is. And I give it to you. You are the pop. The Paul Feinbaum shows quintessential Democrat. Not only do you have your nil deal at home, you basically take caller snippets and take two days to write on your note cards and take credit for their calls. So you know something? Congratulations.

[Matt]

Long.

[Caller John]

Don't come to a Republican rally with your nose ringing, your pink hair. You might not make it out. But Paul, now DM A Chris, I told him if I got to choose between one of those two, I'm going to take one for the team and Auburn's going to put it on us. I mean, he could put it on me, but we're still going to put it on Auburn. But, Paul, can I get one of your calls straight?

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Sure.

[Caller]

One more.

[Caller John]

AJ Let me explain it to you so you can understand this, because I know you're a real simple kind of guy. It's like me coming to your house, getting in your boat, on your lake once a year and taking you out there and out fishing you for nine straight years in a row. That's what it's like. And you would quit fishing if I. If that happened, you would quit. So I tell you what. Until Auburn Beach, Georgia, get in your high chair, put some Cheerios in your tray and just shut the hell up. Paul, thanks for taking my call. You take care, brother.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Thank you, John. John is up next.

[Caller John]

Hey, Paul. This message is for Brad and you.

[Augie]

Brad, you are a jerk.

[Caller John]

You don't know anything about anything. And Paul, you're a hateful person.

[Augie]

Goodbye.

[Paul Feinbaum (Host)]

Thank you. Thank you, John. Very succinct. Why don't we take a break? We have an hour to go. We've had a number of great guests. Roman Harper will be another one, and he'll join us in a moment and plenty of times for your phone calls after that. One more hour to go on a Wednesday.

[Paul Feinbaum]

You're listening to the Paul Feinbaum show podcast.

[Grainger Announcer]

As you know, managing maintenance, repair and operations is never easy. But for the ones who always rise to the challenge, Grainger has your back. From professional grade products you can count on to fast, dependable delivery. They're there to help you keep things running smoothly. Plus, their technical product specialists are here to help answer your toughest questions. And because Grainger knows safety is always a priority, they're committed to being your partner in protecting both your people and your facilities. Call 1-800-GRAINGER clickgranger.com or just stop by.