Podcast Summary: The Pediatrician Next Door – Ep. 140: Are Smart Toys Changing Kids’ Brains?

Host: Dr. Wendy Hunter
Guest: Dr. Dana Suskind
Release Date: November 5, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Wendy Hunter explores a timely and important question for modern parents: Are smart toys and AI-powered interactions changing the way children’s brains develop? Through an engaging conversation with pediatric surgeon and brain development expert Dr. Dana Suskind, the discussion peels back the science—and the uncertainties—around how emerging technologies like AI chatbots and interactive toys could affect children’s emotional, social, and language development. The episode intertwines scientific insights and practical advice, urging parents to reflect not just on what tech offers but what it might silently replace in childhood.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Why Are Parents and Pediatricians Concerned?

• [00:03] Dr. Wendy Hunter opens with a story about a toddler who can “talk to Alexa” but avoids human interaction, using it as a starting point to ask what AI might mean for kids’ social development.
  • “For years we’ve all had our panties in a bunch about what screens do to kids’ attention and learning… And now there’s something new: Artificial intelligence.” (Dr. Wendy Hunter, 00:31)
• AI is more than a passive screen—it's responsive, personalized, and can maintain ongoing “conversations” with kids, which raises fresh concerns compared to old debates about television or tablets.

2. The Science of Early Brain Development

• [03:00] Dr. Dana Suskind describes the brain’s “magical window of opportunity”—the first 3-5 years of life:
  • “We get 1 million new neural connections happen every second by the environmental input, the nurturing interaction.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 03:10)
  • “Experiences through what we call serve and return—nurturing interaction—literally builds a child’s ability for language, emotional regulation, human connection.” (03:35)
• The brain is unfinished at birth and is sculpted by rich, responsive human engagement during this critical period.

3. Why Human Interaction Matters—and What’s at Stake

• [06:12] Dr. Suskind emphasizes the importance of “serve and return”—the give-and-take of live interaction—as the catalyst for brain wiring.
  • “Babies don’t learn from static non-responsive screens. They only learn from live interaction… that opens up the social gate from which all learning begins.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 06:20)
• AI’s “perfect” timing and responsiveness may lack the messiness and emotional richness of real human conversation, the “dance” that teaches empathy, humor, and flexibility.
  • “All human brains learn from that sort of imperfect, emotionally rich dance of human interaction… With AI right now it’s looking way too perfect.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 07:23)
  • Dr. Hunter reframes concern: “Now I’m not worried about what AI adds. I’m more concerned about what it might take away from childhood.” (Dr. Wendy Hunter, 07:58)

4. The ‘Invisible’ Ingredient: Biological Synchrony

• [09:37] Dr. Suskind introduces neural synchrony, where a baby’s and caregiver’s brains literally sync up during live interaction—a phenomenon not yet understood but likely critical for development.
  • “It’s not just words... it’s that richness of connection.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 09:37)
• She cautions that, like boiling away vitamin C from orange juice (a vivid analogy), technology may remove something vital from parent–child interaction without us realizing it.
  • “We see it as lots of words, lots of language, serve in return. But within that, there’s so much that we don’t know… we’ll be missing the vitamin C that’s so critical for children’s development.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 11:14)

5. The Danger of Emotional Attachment to AI

• [12:45] Dr. Suskind expresses concern about children forming deep attachments to AI agents and robots:
  • “With a teddy bear, they have to fill in the gaps… With AI companions, these conversations keep going… their social systems are being hijacked, right? They’re going to be built by these companions if we’re not careful.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 12:45)
• AI removes the need for a child’s imagination to “fill in the gaps”—possibly stunting the development of empathy and creative skills unique to human interaction.

6. Should We Limit AI? How?

• [18:31] Dr. Wendy Hunter asks about safe thresholds for AI use by kids.
• Dr. Suskind encourages using a decision-making framework, rather than hard thresholds:
  • “Human interaction has to be sacrosanct. You never want technology that replaces that or crowds it out.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 18:40)
  • “Stick with the regular teddy bear rather than the AI teddy bear— that Trojan teddy bear.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 19:29)
• The big question: What is getting replaced when we use AI toys—our attention, our presence, or something more?

7. Lessons from History: Tech Is Not Inherently Good or Bad

• [20:59] Dr. Suskind advises nuance—technology is not “bad,” but the context and what it displaces matters.
  • “Technologies aren’t inherently bad or good, right? It’s how we use them and in what hands… what is being displaced?” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 21:01)
• Parents need to teach kids to use tech as a tool and help them develop self-regulation, just as with TV and tablets in prior generations.
  • Importance of default settings: “If they had the default where it kept going on a loop, children just kept watching. If they had the default where it didn’t keep going, children have natural abilities to self-regulate.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 21:49)
• She likens AI companions to “junk food”—not inherently evil, but empty and unnecessary if they substitute for real connection.

8. Equity Concerns—Will Human Connection Become a “Luxury Good”?

• [23:49] Dr. Suskind worries that reliance on AI for caregiving could widen disparities, where richer kids get more human attention and others get “efficient robot teachers.”
  • “Human connection will become a luxury good… I just don’t want this to be sort of like the organic food versus trans fat situation where certain kids get the organic food and the others get the substitute.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 24:03)

9. Simple Advice: The “Three T’s” for Parents

• [24:56] Dr. Suskind champions “good enough parenting” and the essential, irreplaceable value of human interaction for children’s development.
  • “Children need unconditional love, protection, support, but they also need inherently human interaction.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 25:05)
  • The “Three T’s”: Tune in, talk more, take turns—rich language, genuine interaction, everyday conversations.
  • “Embrace your imperfections. There’s no such thing as perfect parenting… That’s good. Because resilience, creativity, adaptability… emerge from that imperfection.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 26:09)
  • “Choose augmentation rather than replacement. Choose supplementation rather than substitution. Because you as a parent are irreplaceable in your child’s development.” (Dr. Dana Suskind, 26:31)
• Dr. Hunter’s advice: Narrate your daily life to your child, ask one more question at bedtime, and remember that the best voice in a child’s world is always yours.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Wendy Hunter (on AI’s perfection vs. human messiness):
  “What did we get from this? That real people don’t respond instantly or predictably.… Those tiny awkward moments, the little mismatches and repairs as she calls them, those are the things that teach children how to read emotion, how to connect, and ultimately how to be human.” [07:58]
• Dr. Dana Suskind (on neural synchrony):
  “There’s something called neural synchrony where a baby and a mother’s brain literally sync up as they’re learning and connecting.… But what happens when you don’t have it? These are the things we don’t know. It’s not just words… it’s that richness of connection.” [09:37]
• Dr. Dana Suskind (on “boiling out the vitamin C”):
  “We’ll be missing the vitamin C that’s so critical for children’s development.” [11:14]
• Dr. Dana Suskind (on AI emotional attachments):
  “With AI companions… their social systems are being hijacked… So it’s not that their social systems are being impacted. They’re being hijacked, right?” [12:45]
• Dr. Dana Suskind (on parenting in an AI world):
  “This is a funny thought… I’ve always championed this idea of good enough parenting. In some ways AI is making clear that good enough parenting isn’t just a nice thing to have. It is what fundamentally allows us to be human.” [24:56]
• Dr. Wendy Hunter (closing advice):
  “The more powerful technology becomes, the more valuable our imperfections are. Because children don’t need perfect, they need us.” [26:37]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:03 – Story intro: A toddler uses Alexa, but not human conversation.
• 03:00 – Dr. Suskind: The “magical window” for brain development.
• 06:12 – Serve and Return: Why live interaction is crucial.
• 07:23 – The “imperfect, emotionally rich dance”—what AI can’t do.
• 09:37 – Neural synchrony: syncing brains and the “invisible” factors.
• 12:45 – Emotional bonds with AI vs. teddy bears; dangers.
• 18:31 – How much AI is safe? A “Trojan teddy bear.”
• 21:01 – Tech is not inherently bad; what matters is what’s displaced.
• 23:49 – Human connection as a “luxury good”—equity concerns.
• 24:56 – “Three T’s”: Tune in, talk more, take turns. Embrace imperfection.
• 26:37 – Dr. Hunter’s closing challenge and main takeaway.

Actionable Takeaways for Parents

• Prioritize Human Interaction: It wires children’s brains for language, empathy, and imagination—technology can’t substitute the “messy dance” of real relationships.
• Be Mindful with AI: Reflect on not how much AI, but what it’s replacing in your child’s day.
• Use the Three T’s: Tune in to your child, talk more, and take turns in conversation—these nurture essential skills.
• Augment, Don’t Replace: Use smart tools to support parenting, not substitute your presence or connection.
• Champion Imperfection: Real, imperfect, emotionally rich moments are what children need—even more as technology advances.

This summary preserves the warmth, humor, and scientific clarity of the original dialogue while highlighting crucial content and memorable statements directly from the hosts. For further information and resources, visit pediatriciannextdoorpodcast.com.