He LOST His Family Overnight for Being Gay

Summary

Podcast Summary: "He LOST His Family Overnight for Being Gay"

The Person Who Believed In Me
Host: David Begnaud
Guest: Joel Kim Booster
Release Date: May 18, 2026

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Overview

This episode of The Person Who Believed In Me features a candid, emotional conversation between Emmy-winning journalist David Begnaud and comedian/writer/actor Joel Kim Booster. Joel shares the story of how coming out as gay led to estrangement from his strict evangelical adoptive family in Illinois, the pivotal role of his friend Sarah Casey and her family in saving his life, and his ongoing journey toward self-acceptance, mental health, and building chosen family. The episode explores themes of rejection, resilience, chosen family, faith, and the power of quiet, steadfast belief.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Family Rejection and Coming Out

• Joel’s upbringing: Raised by evangelical, non-affirming adoptive parents, homeschooled until junior year of high school ([03:32]).

• Coming out story: Parents discovered Joel’s sexuality by reading his journal, leading to an ultimatum to “live the way they wanted or move out.” Joel chose to leave ([00:16], [03:32]).

• Family dynamics: Dad attempted an exorcism when Joel was 12 or 13 ([05:54]). Joel describes his childhood behavior as difficult, influenced by undiagnosed bipolar disorder and strict parenting ([06:59]).

• Lasting consequences: No contact with parents after moving out; still maintains an “arm’s length” relationship with his mother ([08:22]).

  “Neither of my parents have ever seen any of my work and quite frankly, I’m fine with that.” — Joel Kim Booster ([23:16])

2. The Person Who Believed in Him: Sarah Casey

• First offer: Sarah, a classmate (not yet a close friend), invites Joel to stay with her family after noticing his struggles — an offer Joel takes her up on days later ([01:19], [02:58]).

• Staying with the Caseys: What began as a night became Joel living with them for the rest of his senior year ([12:08]).

  • Sarah's parents were initially hesitant, but soon embraced Joel, offering a safe space, support, and tangible help (student loans, church support for a car, daily care) ([15:53]).

• Sarah’s father, Pastor Tim: Offers an affirming and life-changing theological perspective — that Joel is not going to hell and that God does not care whom he loves ([13:16]).

  “He sat me down and he just said: God does not care what your sexuality is or who you love. ... I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that saved my life.” — Joel Kim Booster ([13:16])

• Sarah as Fundamental Believer: “She always believed, I think before anyone else, that I would be right where I am right now.” ([31:14])

3. Reconciliation, Complexity, and Giving Grace

• Parental relationship today: Joel reflects on the emotional impasse and mutual limitations in his relationship with his mother ([08:22], [10:50]).

• Reconciliation efforts: The Caseys actively encouraged Joel to reconcile with his parents after high school and in college ([24:08]).

• Nuanced perspective: Joel acknowledges both his parents’ failures and his own difficulties as a child and teenager, citing personal growth and therapy as key to this perspective ([25:15]).

  “I give them a lot of grace because I was not an easy kid to raise and especially a very confusing kid for them to specifically be raising.” — Joel Kim Booster ([26:48])

4. Faith, Identity, and Chosen Family

• Religious background: Joel was deeply embedded in evangelical Christianity, even aspiring to be a youth pastor ([13:16]).

• Current faith: He now identifies as agnostic, acknowledging the mysteries of existence but no longer subscribing to a traditional religious worldview ([29:02]).

• Sarah’s faith: Sarah is now a Methodist pastor with a radical, service-oriented approach to faith, prioritizing community and care over conversion ([33:38]).

• Power of chosen family: The conversation reframes Sarah and her family as Joel's “chosen family” — people who enter lives unexpectedly and make a lasting impact ([53:53]).

  “Sometimes the people who can have the biggest impact on our lives ... are people we just ... come to realize they are chosen family.” — David Begnaud ([53:53])

5. Mental Health, Bipolar Diagnosis, and Relationships

• Bipolar diagnosis: Joel was diagnosed bipolar 2 shortly before the pandemic lockdown. The diagnosis was a relief, providing a framework for interpreting past experiences ([39:44]).

• Creativity and Mental Health: He discusses fears that medication would dull his creativity, noting his most productive periods often accompanied hypomania—but the tradeoff for stability is worthwhile ([47:34]).

• Relationship with husband: Joel credits his husband John Michael as a profound source of love, motivation, and accountability ([41:46]-[43:02]).

  “He is, again, not the reason I take care of myself, but he is a huge motivating factor ... to be the best version of myself for our marriage.” — Joel Kim Booster ([50:30])

• Struggles with self-acceptance: Joel admits he gives more grace to others than to himself, battling shame and perfectionism ([46:31]).

6. Career, Success, and Rejection

• Comedy origins: Joel grew up idolizing Margaret Cho as a rare example of an openly gay Asian performer ([10:34]).

• Trajectory: Worked day jobs well into his late 20s, experiencing incremental success and constantly moving “the goalposts” ([36:10]).

• Handling rejection: Paradoxically, Joel finds casting/professional rejection more difficult to process than familial rejection ([37:30]-[38:41]).

  “It’s really easy for me to dismiss any rejection that I might have felt from my family back then. It’s much harder to get over when I get a no from a casting director.” — Joel Kim Booster ([38:36])

7. Legacy, Giving Back, and Looking Forward

• Giving back: Now in a position of relative financial security, Joel is committed to supporting children in his extended family/chosen family and being an “outlet and a source of safety” for his nieces and nephews, given their conservative upbringing ([56:03], [57:07]).
• Future hopes: Hopes for “a life less centered around self-promotion,” more stability, and being present for future family milestones ([56:24]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On coming out and losing family:
  “I called their bluff and said, okay, I’m going to go. And again, wasn’t at this point certain how long I would make it before having to go back.” ([03:32])

• On belonging and chosen family:
  “I was not able to be myself at home... it was just like a weight lifted, I think, for me to come home and still be able to be myself and figure out ... who I was becoming.” ([15:56])

• On theological affirmation:
  “There is no biblical basis for hell. You’re not going to hell because hell doesn’t exist and God does not care what your sexuality is or who you love.” — Pastor Tim, as remembered by Joel ([13:16])

• On being loved in adulthood:
  “I think I’d spent most of my life imagining what it would be like to fall in love with a person, and I never once stopped to consider what it would be like to be loved by a person.” ([51:02])

• Advice to his younger self:
  “I would caution him to think he knows the ending of any story in his life until he has some distance from it.” ([57:39])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Rejection by family and early struggles: [00:00]–[08:22]
• Sarah Casey’s intervention & move-in story: [01:19], [02:58], [12:08]
• Crucial conversation with Sarah’s father, Pastor Tim: [13:16]
• Living with the Caseys & being seen: [15:53]
• Reconciliation and complexity in family relationships: [24:08], [26:48]
• On faith, doubt, and Sarah’s ministry: [29:02], [33:38]
• Bipolar diagnosis and creativity: [39:44], [47:34]
• Relationship with John Michael: [41:46]–[43:02], [50:23]
• Grace, self-acceptance, looking forward: [46:31]–[47:29], [56:24]
• Chosen family and final reflections: [53:53]–[55:20], [56:02]
• Message to his younger self: [57:36]–[59:05]

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Structure & Flow

The episode is raw, deeply human, and honest. Joel’s self-awareness, wit, and generosity toward those who both supported and hurt him are matched by Begnaud’s gentle, probing style. The emotional highlight is the affirmation from Sarah’s father, which offered a “paradigm shift” in Joel’s self-worth and future—a moment credited as lifesaving. The latter half of the episode expands into themes of faith evolution, the joys and challenges of queer love, breaking generational cycles, and gratitude for chosen family.

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Final Reflection

The Person Who Believed In Me reveals not just how a single act of kindness can change a life, but how belief and acceptance—offered quietly and steadfastly in moments of crisis—can echo for decades. Joel’s story is about being seen not for achievements, but for one's truth, and is a testament to the power of both chosen and found families.

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In Joel’s words:
"She’s a rock star. ... She is actively changing the world in ways that ... may never get the same amount of attention or appreciation for the work that I do. But it is, and she knows this, ten times more important." ([55:20])

Transcript

[Joel Kim Booster]

It's really easy for me to dismiss any rejection that I felt from my family. It's much harder to get over when I get a note from a casting director. Wow.

[Interviewer]

Did your parents see being gay as some kind of an illness? Your dad tried to perform an exorcism on you?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, that happened when I was like 12 or 13. They gave me an ultimatum of live the way that they wanted me to live or move out and said, okay, I'm gonna go.

[Interviewer]

Emmy nominated writer, actor, producer, stand up comedian, singer, star of Loot, creator and lead of Fire Island. Joel Kim Booster has become one of the sharpest, most original voices in modern comedy.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I had been out of my parents house. She was very nice. I know you're going through this. If you ever need a place to stay, you can come and stay with me and my family. I ended up living there for the rest of my senior year. My attitude was like, I'm going to hell eventually for this, but I can't fight it anymore. I'm exhausted. He sat me down and he just said, God does not care what your sexuality is or who you love. I think it opened up a version of my future that I never really considered before. Neither of them have ever seen any of my work and quite frankly, I'm fine with that.

[Interviewer]

But pause for a second. Are you really? We're going to begin as we always do.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Oh, wow. You really picked a good one with a photo. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Tell us, who is the person who believed in you?

[Joel Kim Booster]

This is my dearest friend in the whole world, since we were 16 years old. Sarah Casey. Reverend Sarah Casey, I should be more specific. And she and her family, it sounds dramatic to say, but they really did save my life in a lot of different ways.

[Interviewer]

Set the scene. Okay, take me back to Plainfield at the time you met. Let's just jump right in and then we'll back up. But take me to the day she first said to you what she said that changed everything.

[Joel Kim Booster]

So I had been out of my parents house for a couple weeks at this point and everyone at school knew in some shape or form that I was struggling. You know, I was the voice of the announcements. So I was an integral part of the ecosystem of that high school and everyone knew that I was struggling and you know, people offered various bits of help here and there. And I remember we had one class together, we had choir together and we were not very good friends at this point. We were, you know, classmates. She ran in a very different circle than I did and we certainly never hung out socially. Before this. But she was very nice. And she turned around. She was with the altos, I was with the Baritones behind her. And she turned around at one point at the end of class and said, hey, I know you're going through this. If you ever need a place to stay, you can come and stay with me and my family. And I don't think she really meant it in that moment. I think she was just saying it to be nice because she'd heard, you know, other people were offering help here and there, but it was getting colder. And I showed up at her house and said, hey, remember when you said that thing, I'm here to cash in, Basically?

[Interviewer]

How quickly did you show up that day?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Two or three days later?

[Interviewer]

Probably two or three days later, when she offered it, did you think, oh, thank God?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, I think I was relieved. I think it wasn't. I certainly didn't know the extent to which they would help in that moment. I thought it would probably be a couple nights like the other places that I'd stayed. And at this point, I wasn't even sure how long I would make it on my own before sort of caving and going back home.

[Interviewer]

So pause on that part and tell me what you were going through when she offered that.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I had come out when I was 16 at school, my junior year of high school. To back up even further, I had been homeschooled until I was a junior in high school. My parents finally sent me to public school because I really wanted to go to college, and homeschooling was not preparing me for that. And they sent me to school within a month of coming out of going to public school. I came out, I hooked up with a guy for the first time, drank alcohol for the first time, smoked weed for the first time, smoked a cigarette for the first time, shoplifted for the first time, did everything imaginable that I was never able to do before. And I think it's pretty obvious that if you keep a kid under lock and key for 16 years and then give him a little bit of freedom, he will explode. And so I was out my entire junior year at school. All my friends knew. Everyone was pretty aware. And then my senior year, at the beginning of my senior year, my parents, who I had planned on, honestly at this point in my life, never telling, I was pretty sure I could keep it a secret from them for my entire life if I needed to. But they read my journal while I was at school one day and came back, confronted me about it. Lots of tumult and Difficult moments for both of us. And it just sort of came to a head at one point that they gave me an ultimatum of live the way that they needed me to live, wanted me to live, or I could move out. And I called their bluff and said, okay, I'm going to go. And again, wasn't at this point certain how long I would make it before having to go back. But, yeah, and then a couple weeks later, probably, I got this offer from Sarah.

[Interviewer]

Did your parents see being gay as some kind of an illness?

[Joel Kim Booster]

You know, I don't know if I would go so far as to say illness. I think it was definitely, like, something that was a choice that was maybe brought about because of environmental factors that could then be sort of worked through. But they never. They never like, framed it as like, a disease or an illness or anything like that. I think it was more of a spiritual issue that I could work out with God.

[Interviewer]

You told my producer that your dad tried to perform an exorcism on you?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, that happened when I was, like, 12 or 13. And listen, I was a very difficult kid to raise. I had a lot of issues, emotions that were not being well addressed by my parents. I will say they did not believe in traditional therapy or mental health or anything like that. They sent me to a bunch of unqualified, uncertified Christian therapists that were not helpful in any slight sort of way. And, yeah, I just remember it had gotten so bad at one point that I got in a fight that was and was so deeply disrespectful to my father that he had reached the end of his rope. And, like, it was not a planned thing. It was a very much in the moment, spontaneous thing. And he tried to exercise me because he was so at a loss for what to do. I had sort of driven them to the ends of their rope.

[Interviewer]

When you say exercise, what did he do?

[Joel Kim Booster]

You know, he said all the things. He said, you know, satan, out. I rebuke thee in the name of the Lord. Like, release my son. Sort of the whole everything you see

[Interviewer]

in the movies when you say I was difficult to raise. Give me some examples.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I was just, listen, I'm bipolar. I've been bipolar probably since it started to manifest as early as pre puberty. I would say, like, I've always had extreme mood swings, been very irritable, reactive, unable to control my emotions, especially when I was young, especially when I was hormonal and a teenager. And I was defiant. I was disrespectful, I was a liar. I was Trying every way possible to undermine my parents in every sort of way that you could undermine your parents. And listen, some of that is as a result of the way that they raised me and the very difficult way that they raised me and the very controlling way that they raised me. But some of it was as a result of chemical imbalances in my brain that they refused to address in any real way. And some of it was just me being an asshole.

[Interviewer]

You were born in Korea?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

Adopted. At what age?

[Joel Kim Booster]

About three months. Three to six months, probably.

[Interviewer]

Did you ever try and by the way, figure out who your biological parent.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I have had and have no interest in?

[Interviewer]

Got it. So your parents are the folks who. And what are their names?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Janet and Ken. My father passed in 2021.

[Interviewer]

But what kind of relationship do you have with Ms. Janet?

[Joel Kim Booster]

It's a difficult one, but it is a. We sort of reached an impasse. I think I've closed the gap about as far as I can close the gap between us. And it's a loving relationship at the end of the day, but it is an arm's length relationship at the same time.

[Interviewer]

Your decision or hers?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I think a little bit of both.

[Interviewer]

Inevitable.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Did she attend your wedding?

[Joel Kim Booster]

No, I didn't invite her. She showed no interest in attending the wedding. And quite frankly, I have never in, since I was 17 years old, imagined any of my family being at my wedding. And I don't need them.

[Interviewer]

There is this kind of conversation for you cathartic or intrusive?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Neither. It's sort of.

[Interviewer]

Why do you choose to speak so freely about the pain of the past?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I guess I don't see it. I don't connect it to pain necessarily anymore in my life at this point in my life. It's just I'm very open about most areas of my life and this happened to me. And I think that it is as normal for me as talking about what I went to the grocery store and bought two days ago.

[Interviewer]

If you didn't have the life with the trauma you endured, would you be in comedy?

[Joel Kim Booster]

That's a good question. Possibly. I don't think that my going into standup was based in a. Was like a trauma response by any means. But I think that there are certain things, aspects of my personality developed as a result of growing up in the environment that I did and that definitely contributed to getting into comedy. But you know, I certainly mined a lot of the situations of my youth when I was growing up for. Especially in my early material. But, you know, I don't anymore really. So it is. It's. It's something that I've moved on from, artistically at least, exploring for the most part. And, yeah, I feel like I've said pretty much everything I need to say.

[Interviewer]

Did you see anybody who was like you growing up? Asian, gay, Open?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Margaret Cho is probably the closest approximation. BD Wong, a little bit, although I didn't necessarily know his background or his life, his personal life, but I saw him on tv. But Margaret definitely, I think, is. Is the biggest example of that.

[Interviewer]

Do you feel as though your mother accepts you now?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I don't know. I don't care. But, you know, like I said, like, I know she loves me. I love her very much. She's very kind to my husband and accepting and accepting of our relationship up to a point and has been very welcoming to him. But at the same time, like, I don't know that. She explains that I am married or in a relationship with a man to her friends or churchgoers or anything like that, and certainly not to my nieces and nephews. So I don't know that acceptance is necessarily the word, but we've definitely reached a sort of a point of resignment, I think, to. Things aren't really going to change.

[Interviewer]

So take me back to Sarah. What is that photo?

[Joel Kim Booster]

This is me at, I believe, her qualifying. She was a state champion pole vaulter in high school. Very much a jock. I was a theater kid. And this was at one of her qualifying meets. I think I went and saw her pole vaulting.

[Interviewer]

So back to her house three days after, she says, hey, if you need a place to stay, you can come. You show up. Do you remember who opened the door?

[Joel Kim Booster]

It was Sarah. And, you know, I think she was a little puzzled, but I was like, I remember when you said that thing, and I, you know, am cashing in, basically. And, you know, her mom and dad were sort of immediately like, you can't just invite strange boys to stay here. Her dad's a quadriplegic. She has two younger brothers in the house as well. There's a lot going on in that house. And I think, you know, she convinced her parents to let me stay for the night. And I stayed up that night talking to her mom very intensely about, like, you know, my life. And, yeah, the next day I was going. I was leaving for school expecting it to be the only night that I stayed there. They were, they said, come back for dinner before you leave. And not to get too ahead of myself, but I ended up living there for the rest of my senior year.

[Interviewer]

This Is her dad, Tim, he himself a pastor who said something to you that when I was doing my research, like, truly made me pause and as a gay man, it made my eyes well up.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

What did he say to you?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Well, I mean, to back up a little bit, I think it's important to note that, like, I came out when I was 16 in high school, but I was so very much indoctrinated into the evangelical church leading up to that. Like the last before, like months before I came out of the closet, I would say that I was telling people I was going to be a youth pastor as my career. So I was like, in it. I'm, you know, famously a nationally ranked Bible quizzer. I've read every book of the Bible, some of them many multiples of times. And so I very much was like, when I came out at school that whole year, my attitude was like, I'm going to hell eventually for this, but I can't fight it anymore. I'm exhausted. But you know, I will be going to hell, but I might as well, you know, enjoy my life to as much as I possibly can until then. And that was a really dark mindset to be in. And it was a really not great mindset to be in. And I think, you know, I probably confess this to Sarah at some point and she told her dad and he got wind of it and he sat me down one day and you know, he is the Methodist pastor in our town and very well known for being an extremely progressive pastor. And he sat me down and he just said, joel, there is no biblical basis for how hell. You're not going to hell because hell doesn't exist and God does not care what your sexuality is or who you love. And at that moment I think I needed someone, especially someone who had authority in the church, a pastor to tell me that and assure me of that, because I don't know that I would have believed anybody else. And I, you know, I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that saved my life because I think had I continued to live in the mindset of like, let's just like live to the fullest and then eventually go to hell, I think that's a really dark place for a 16 year old to be in, 17 year old to be in. And I don't think it would have gotten any better. I think it would have just gotten darker for me. And so that really was a paradigm shift in my head for the way I lived and the way I viewed life.

[Interviewer]

Did what Pastor Tim said in any way change your view of what you deserved out of this life?

[Joel Kim Booster]

For sure. I think, I think like, I didn't ever really expect to like live a particularly long or interesting or fulfilling life before this conversation. And I think it, it opened up a version of my future that I never really considered before.

[Interviewer]

So you move in. This is full time now?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

What's life like with them compared to at home?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I mean, night and day? I think it was really great to have a year of my high school life where I could come home and tell them about like my. I would talk to her mom about everything, about the guys I had crushes on and what was going on in school and what was going on with me and where I wanted to be next year and all of these things that I was not able to. I was not able to be myself at home. Like even when I was out at school, I would come home and just sort of shut down and like mask everything and hide behind everything and it was just like a weight lifted, I think for me to like come home and still be able to be myself and figure out. And not only just be myself, but be in a safe environment to figure out who I was becoming. And yeah, I mean, she made lunches for me. She started my car in the wintertime before I left for school. She, you know, like at the end of my senior year, they cosigned my student loans, they rallied their church to buy me a car for graduation. It was just like a really wonderful like way to spend my last year.

[Interviewer]

Do you get the sense that your parents saw what the Casey's were doing for you?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I don't know. I don't know. I was not in contact with them.

[Interviewer]

Did you want to in any way rub it in their face like, you see, this is how you truly treat people. Look how they're being.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I'm sure there was probably some part of me that felt that way, but it's hard for me to remember now how active that was or how at the forefront that was. I think I was still really hurt and confused and. And you know, the Caseys never were always very much like in favor of me reconciling with my parents and had a lot to do with me reconciling with my parents later on in college and. But no, I don't think it was there was ever a sense of like, I was never gloating. I never felt like ecstatic about the situation as happy as I was being able to live freely and all of that.

[Interviewer]

Did your parents try and get you to come back?

[Joel Kim Booster]

No.

[Interviewer]

Really?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Not that I remember. Certainly not strongly.

[Interviewer]

Did that hurt? Not getting them to want you to come back?

[Joel Kim Booster]

No, because I think it was. I knew acutely and I think they knew acutely that it was not going to end well for either of us if I moved back. And I think for me I was so distracted by finally figuring out who I was where I could in a world where I could be the same person at school and at home. I didn't have time to really consider their feelings about it or the possibility of coming home. But it wasn't a gloating thing. It wasn't like a see I told you so sort of thing. I think that that attitude came much later, I think in terms of like post college life, like, and achieving some of the things that I wanted to achieve. And you know, I haven't taken a dime of my parents money since I was 17 and I think that has become the cornerstone of my personality today. I love to lord that over people, but I. Yeah. And I think I was just more so proud of myself for being able to make it and survive that it never really. It wasn't necessarily about them, it was about me.

[Interviewer]

I want to go to this picture. That is your dad.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yes, this is my dad.

[Interviewer]

And I have to be very honest with you. I read the research from the pre interview and I had a lot of feelings. Right. I felt bad for the little you. I felt mad at them being 40 years old. I also wondered if they were doing the best they could. And also being a gay man having a complex relationship with my parents over the issue, I wondered that. But then I came upon an Instagram post that you had posted about your dad. And I just want to read a portion of. Took my dad and I a long time to understand each other. I'm not sure I was the son he imagined for himself. Gay and emotional and completely uninterested in anything like fishing or hunting or his one great love, farm equipment, very country mouse and city mouse vibes. But if he was disappointed, he never let on. And in some ways it was hard for me to square the two. Right. Because you hear about the trauma. But then you read that post and you think that's a beautiful post. I guess my question is, I guess in life two things can be true. You can feel the love and honor the good while also being clear about setting the record on the bat.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, I don't know. It is. I'm very lucky that in the last few years before my dad died, we'd Repaired the relationship to an extent that I think we were in a better place before he died, in the years before he died, than I'd ever been with him as a kid growing up, certainly not since I was a young child. And, you know, I think it's easier to look back now that he's gone and see all of the things and ways he showed up in his own way. I think, like, for me, it was really frustrating because we were very different kinds of people. And, like, I was loud, I was, you know, very social, very charismatic kid. And my dad was painfully shy, socially awkward, quiet, you know, introvert. And we just didn't get each other. We didn't speak the same language the entire time I was growing up. I was so uninterested in everything that he was interested in teaching me about, and yet my dad showed up to everything. My dad was at every play, every musical, every basketball game for a very brief moment in time when I played high school basketball and was terrible at it. He came to every. Yeah, pretty much everything. My mom, I don't think, has seen me perform at all and sort of sent my dad to be the one to represent both of them at any of these events. And, you know, it was a very quiet form of support. Like, you know, I don't think he was, like, on his feet, like, giving me a standing ovation at any of these shows, but he was there, and it was like, at the time, I don't think I really absorbed how difficult that was for him to be out in these public spaces and, like, be the only parent there and like, to be watching something that I'm not sure how much he enjoyed or, you know, how proud he was of me to be doing these things. But he still came.

[Interviewer]

Did he ever say, I'm proud of you?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Not a lot if he did. And certainly I. There's no, like, standout memories of him being like, I'm proud of you. I. You know, later in life, they certainly did.

[Interviewer]

They did.

[Joel Kim Booster]

They both verbalized it in so many ways, I think. Like, listen, neither of my parents have ever seen any of my work as an adult. Have they left.

[Interviewer]

Forget. I don't mean to be rude. Have they left Plainfield?

[Joel Kim Booster]

No, but. Yeah. Neither of them have ever seen any of my work. They've never seen any of my. They haven't seen my movie, my Stand up, any of the TV shows I've ever been on. And quite frankly, I'm fine with that. Um, but, you know, I was able

[Interviewer]

to pause for a second. Are you really. How but how meaningful would it be if you found out your mom watched something?

[Joel Kim Booster]

It would not be meaningful at all, because I know she'd hate it and. Oh, that's like. And I don't need her to put her through that in order for, you know, to. It wouldn't. It wouldn't bring me anything at this point in my life. Like, I stopped expecting certain things from my family a long time ago, and I don't need to have certain emotional needs serviced by them because I have plenty of people in my life who are very proud of me unequivocally and in an uncomplicated way. And I just don't need that from them anymore.

[Interviewer]

You talk about the Caseys when you were in college, helping to reconcile you with your parents. Was that important to the Cayce to do?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I think so. I think even before I thought it was important, they knew it was important, and they knew it would be a regret for both of us if that didn't happen.

[Interviewer]

How did Mr. And Mrs. Casey broker?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Very small ways. I mean, they talked to my parents when I was in high school, living with them, and I refused to. They. You know, at my college graduation, where my parents did come, they were also there, and they, you know, I think it was very difficult for my mom to meet them and Because. Because they took over and I think had a very easy time with me. And I think there's. There's a lot of different emotions there. I think part it is like she felt replaced. I think part of it was, you got a good version of him and you didn't have to deal with all the shit that we dealed with. Right. Dealt with. And. And, yeah, just general weirdness of, like, why they were able to accept these certain parts of me and they weren't.

[Interviewer]

You're so honest in your assessments.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Right.

[Interviewer]

Like, I've interviewed people for 25 years, and I know what it's like for people to point this way. It's always the other person. But you're very honest about where you also were. Is that. Is that from therapy?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Definitely. And I think it's from life, and I think it's from distance from it. And, like, listen, in the months and years, even probably until after college, well, after college, I put most of the blame on them. And it wasn't until, honestly, I started really dealing with my mental health issues now and understanding being bipolar and getting help for that. And, you know, there's obviously resentment there because I think I would have been served by seeing a real mental health professional much earlier. But, you know, I. I give them a lot of grace because I was not an easy kid to raise and especially a very confusing kid for them to specifically be raising.

[Interviewer]

Have you said that to your mom?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, I think so. Yes, I definitely have. We've had conversations, especially around my dad's passing, that, you know, I have apologized and for, you know, not being the ideal version of myself when they had me and I was living there. And, you know, she's definitely admitted that there was. There was parts of how they handled me growing up that weren't as, you know, helpful as they could have been.

[Interviewer]

She did say that. So there is some self recognition and reflection on her part.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah. I think, though, the sort of foundation of our disagreement is always going to be there, and I don't think she's going to budge on that, which is like the sexuality and the, you know, not being a practicing Christian and blah, blah, blah. But I think they definitely understood by the end that they pushed me so far out of. They pushed me into leaving in certain ways. And I think they would have done a lot of things differently had we all had. All of us would. Had we had a chance to go back. But, yeah, I give him a lot of grace because I just know the older I get and the more I understand it and the more I realize, like, not everyone sees the world the same and not everyone operates within the world the same. And I think it's one of the most difficult things to not assume that everyone is thinking about things the same way you're thinking about things and dealing with things the same way you're dealing with things. Once you realize that, I think it's easier to give people grace.

[Interviewer]

I'd like to share something with you that someone who sat in that chair said to me. Arthur Brooks, who's a thought leader, said to me, and we were talking about relationships, and I have a good relationship with my parents, but I said it's complicated. And I also acknowledge that, you know, for one of my parents, they get kind of sad when they hear me describe it as complicated. And what Arthur Brooks said to me is, relationships are complex. And that was really an aha moment for me because I understand that the way my mom receives the word complicated is in a hurtful way, as if she didn't do it right. She'll tell you she did the best she could. And I believe she did the best she could. But something about him using the word complex felt a little freeing and a little fairer to them. Do you agree?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Totally. Yeah, I think it Was both for me. It was complicated because it was complex. But I definitely think that, like, it is a. A both thing for me.

[Interviewer]

Do you believe in God?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I lean more agnostic than anything, I guess. I think that there are definitely things about this world that have, you know, not to my satisfaction, been explained well enough. And I think that there are things that we'll never be able to explain. And I think that there are aspects of our. Our world that, you know, remain a mystery to me. And so I never want to come down and say, like, for sure that I'm an atheist now. I just. I certainly don't believe that if God exists, he exists in the. As the picture of what organized religion pains him to be, them to be. I. But yeah, it's not something that I engage with seriously anymore.

[Interviewer]

I want to come back to the bipolar. I have some questions about that, but I also want to, for the moment, go back to the person who believed in you. You guys weren't friends when she invited you to stay at her house, but tell me how the relationship took root and blossomed once you were living there.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I mean, listen, we were. It was not a big house. They sort of converted their basement into my bedroom. And it's a very strange thing to go from being acquaintances with someone to being their housemate. I think we just. It was not even. I went. I don't know how slow of a burn it was even, but we just became these people that would, like, sit on the porch and talk until late at night. And, you know, I think the more she understood where I was coming from, the life I was coming from, the life that I had, I came more into focus for her and she came more into focus for me. And we just learned how similar we were in so many fundamental ways and how, you know, our view of the world was so similar. And it just became a very easy transition into being best friends.

[Interviewer]

So strip away the logistics, the housing, the loans, the late night calls you guys would have. What do you think she fundamentally believed about you that made all of those concrete acts possible?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I mean, she always believed, I think, before anyone else, that I would be right where I am right now. And I think her family believed that in a less maybe informed way. But I think once she understood not only that it was an interest of mine, but who I was as a person and the ways in which I would fight for that, she knew instinctually that, like, I would be doing some version of what I'm doing now.

[Interviewer]

I know Mr. Casey told you that there's no Biblical basis for hell. And so God doesn't care if you're gay. Do you remember who first said you as a gay man are exactly who God made you to be? Do you remember who first told you that?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I mean, he said some version of that, but I don't know that anyone has ever said those exact words. And it certainly would have only been Tim. It would not have been anyone in the church that I was going to before or. And I haven't really attended church or engaged with organized religion since, so.

[Interviewer]

Because for me, I don't know if anyone said that to me, but I do remember when I came to realize that. But I came to believe that it meant a lot to me to believe that, like, I'm exactly who the Creator intended for me to be. Do you believe that?

[Joel Kim Booster]

No, because I don't necessarily believe in a creator or even in predestination in that way. I think that.

[Interviewer]

Do you believe you're doing whatever the power that put you here intended for you to do?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I think I'm doing exactly what I am well suited to do and what I want to do. And I don't know that I believe in any sort of direction from a creator or the simulation or whatever.

[Interviewer]

Whatever you know, universe, not into the. Yeah, okay. It knocked my socks off when I got to the part of the research where it said that Sarah is now an ordained minister.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, she followed in her dad's footsteps. She is a Methodist pastor as well.

[Interviewer]

In some ways it makes complete sense.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah. And she has wanted to do that since I knew her when in high school. Like, she knew from a young age that she was called to do that. And, yeah, I'm very proud of her.

[Interviewer]

And how is she in dealing with the fact that you're agnostic? She must have some feeling about that

[Joel Kim Booster]

opinion because, I mean, her view is a pretty radically progressive view of God and the church and the church's role. I think, like, for her, you know, God is genderless, God is a lot of different things. You know, she still very much believes in the Bible as a. As a. A text that provides a lot of the framework through which she views the world. But she is not concerned with people's belief in God. Like, she is concerned with serving her community, feeding and clothing the homeless, making sure that people have a. Have a home base for a community when so many people feel lost and. And alone. And she. Her end goal is not to convert people to Christianity, it's to take care of them, whether or not they believe in God or not.

[Interviewer]

This was where? 2016. From her Facebook.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Oh, this was our friend. This was our mutual roommate, Caitlin, my college roommate and her roommate in Chicago. Caitlin's wedding. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

You went to college in Chicago?

[Joel Kim Booster]

No, I went to school in Decatur, Illinois, which is about three hours south of Chicago.

[Interviewer]

Milliken.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Mm.

[Interviewer]

Okay. But you started, if my research is right, performing before plays in Chicago.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, I mean, that was one of the many things I did. I didn't start doing that, but that is where it sort of grew into, because I was. I moved to Chicago to do theater and started doing standup sort of on the side as, like, my, you know, a creative outlet. And then slowly, because I was so much more involved in the theater scene than I was the comedy scene in Chicago, by the time I started doing comedy, I was finding ways in which to do comedy and stand up comedy that didn't involve the structure of the comedy machine in Chicago. And so part of that was, like, people in the theater community knew I did stand up, and I was good at stand up, and so they would find these opportunities for me. So, like, Steppenwolf did a comedy one time, and they had me warm up the crowd by doing stand up beforehand.

[Interviewer]

Oftentimes, kids, and I'm speaking from experience here, who deal with a lot of pain as children, stay out of the spotlight. That's the last place they want to be. I didn't. You didn't? Why?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I'm addicted to attention, and it's the only thing I've ever been good at.

[Interviewer]

Did success come early? Like, when you first auditioned, did they say, oh, yes, you're the best. Come on. Or did you struggle to get people to believe in you and say, you're hired?

[Joel Kim Booster]

It depends on the level of success and what we talk about as success. Like, it certainly was not. I worked a day job until I was probably, what, how old was I in 2016? Like, 28, 29. And I, you know, I worked full time day jobs, 50 hours a week, like, doing open mics at night. And so, like, I wouldn't call, like, until I quit my day job is probably when I would say, like, okay, that's a level of success that I can really point to and, like, be proud of. But there were little fits and starts and little moments of success. Like, I think you have to move the. Start the goalposts in a reasonable distance away and then move them as necessary. And so I was definitely hitting those milestones early on in my career. Like, but they were small. They were like, you know, get booked on a real show. Not an open mic. Get booked on, you know, get past it by this club, you know, and like little victories that were how I kept myself sane and motivated. And it was, you know, six years in, before I had really been able to call myself a success.

[Interviewer]

Did the rejection you faced as a child help you deal with rejection as an adult?

[Joel Kim Booster]

No, I don't handle rejection well at all. And I. I don't know that there was any helping that. And it's a very different kind of rejection to feel. In some ways, it feels almost more personal as a professional than it does than it did when, you know, I look back on my family's rejection of me. But yeah, because their rejection of me, it feels unfounded and silly at this point in my life. And the industry's rejection of me feels very pointed. So I don't know that it's. I see it in a different. It's just a completely different form of rejection. And feeling behind that rejection, pointed. Why? Because it's just. It feels much more personal. It's my life and it's my work, and it is something that's deeply important to me. And when to hear the amount of no's that you hear in this industry and in every category of my life, from stand up to writing to acting, it feels, I don't know, I think, like, it's really easy for me to dismiss any rejection that I might have felt from my family back then.

[Interviewer]

Fascinating.

[Joel Kim Booster]

It's much harder to get over when I get a no from a casting director.

[Interviewer]

Wow. Trying to sit with that for a minute, like, that's surprising.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I just, I. They don't. I don't allow them.

[Interviewer]

You put more into a casting director's no than, let's say, your mom and dad's.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, because the casting director is paying my bills and getting me work. My parents have nothing to do with my career or my identity, talent, or anything like that. And they have less of a frame of reference to even judge whether or not I'm good at this. So it doesn't matter to me.

[Interviewer]

Are you black and white things?

[Joel Kim Booster]

No.

[Interviewer]

There's a lot of gray.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, lots of gray.

[Interviewer]

Okay, here's a random fact about Joel Kim. You were the 72nd employee at Groupon?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Uh huh. Something like that.

[Interviewer]

That's random. I want to come back to the bipolar. You were diagnosed as bipolar 2 about six months before the lockdown. The pandemic lockdown. Right. How did finally getting the diagnosis help you just understand your past and how you had acted and showed up?

[Joel Kim Booster]

It was just like A framework through which to a new lens through which to view some of the behavior that, you know, at this point in my life, by the time I was diagnosed, was like deeply ashamed of and confused by and behavior that had. And patterns that had persisted on into, well into adult life and escalated and became worse. And it was a relief more so than anything to under. To have that framework and the lens through which to view that behavior. And so many moments in my life made so much more sense because of it.

[Interviewer]

You have said that I, every time I get a new IMDb credit, I up my meds 5mg.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Don't remember saying that, but that is true.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, but you've also said that you can blow up your own life, but you don't want to blow up the life you have built with your husband. And that kind of stopped me for a moment because as I read your stuff, you're very just sort of like, nope, I'm done. You know, you're very decisive. Right on the thing. But when it comes to him, there seems to be a lot of softness in a beautiful way. So tell me more about that, about how he keeps you accountable.

[Joel Kim Booster]

It's a very fine line between doing it for him, keeping taking care of my mental health specifically and my overall health specifically, doing it for him versus doing it for me. And I think, like, I've had to really watch myself and make sure that it doesn't just be because of him and for him. And it has to be as a result of like a lot of other influences. And I have never really understood. I think it's like the purest form of feeling loved by someone is really important and life changing and transformative for me and the way I view my life and the way I approach my life.

[Interviewer]

What's his name?

[Joel Kim Booster]

John Michael.

[Interviewer]

How did y' all meet?

[Joel Kim Booster]

We met in Mexico in Puerto Vallarta. And it was post vaccine pre delta. We were both very locked down for a year and a half and it was our first big group vacations with our, you know, friend groups and we met out on the first night and I've talked to him every night since.

[Interviewer]

What does he do to you that makes things so much better?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I think it's a very uncomplicated and at this point, very unquestionable sort of love. And I think I was always a very anxious, insecure person in relationships and in dating because I was never quite sure if I. If they loved me or liked me as much as I liked them or loved them. And he's the first and only person I think I've ever been with who in so many ways shows up and proves and, you know, confirms his love for me in ways that I think he means to and other ways that he is not even aware of.

[Interviewer]

Does he? I say about my partner, he makes me more thoughtful, kinder, softer, sweeter. And you feel the same way.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, he softens the edges, for sure.

[Interviewer]

Softens the edges. Yeah. We should, for the moment, just remind everybody you're starring in a reboot of Scrubs, right. And you've got a podcast called Bad Dates. How's that going?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Great. Yeah. Scrubs was a lot of fun to shoot. I get to do something a little bit different than I've done in the past. And I, you know, I was a fan of the show growing up, and I think that I remain a fan of the show today. It is very similar tone and the comedy feels very much like a full continuation of the tone and comedy of the old series. And Bad Dates is a lot of fun because it is very. Listen, I consider myself an investigative journalist, so I love talking to people about things in their life, especially these bad dates, and getting to the bottom of. Of why the date was so bad and. And why people put themselves in these positions and put up, get to the point of a bad date. And also, what was.

[Interviewer]

What have you learned? Give me a few tips. What have you learned?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I've learned a few things. I've learned that women have it much harder than men. And this. This is. This could be said of a lot of things in life, but specifically with regard to dating, I think women, I have learned straight women in particular, have had to learn how to mask certain emotions and to modulate their behavior in a way that is palatable to not only men, but society writ large. And that has resulted in a lot of decisions that I think it's very easy for me to sit where I'm sitting and say, that is crazy. And sometimes it is, and I will say that. But it is also, I think, like, it's helped me understand all of the various, you know, sort of contexts that lead and have led to this sharp divide I think you're seeing in men and women, like women specifically, you know, skewing more progressive than men, and that divide becoming wider and wider. And understanding, I think, in talking to, especially the straight men that I've spoken to, understanding the male loneliness epidemic and understanding, like, how difficult it is for men to find love and how, like, the emotional education that most street men receive is next to none. And so, you know, they're learning on the job. And I think like, it is, you know, in a different way, very, very difficult for men to figure out how to be vulnerable and open enough to find success in a relationship. And gay people are doing all right, I would say.

[Interviewer]

How has that perspective changed the way you view your own relationship?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I'm hyper aware of how much work it is now. And I think like, you know, I always knew that people have been saying that for years and years and years ad nauseum about relationships. But I think it has sort of given me a framework around which to view, how to view that work. And like, you know, it's not necessarily, it shouldn't, it's. It doesn't necessarily have to be hard. Work doesn't have to be hard, you know, and it's about like gauging. I think sometimes you get to the end of these, some of these stories and it's like, it shouldn't be that difficult to apply yourself and work at maintaining a relationship.

[Interviewer]

You've talked about giving grace to other people, your parents, namely, how good are you at giving grace to yourself?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Not great. I, I have really down. Most of my down periods come as a result of shame or disappointment in myself and frustrations with myself. And it's hard for me to see myself in the same way that my husband sees me, for example. It's just not an easy lift.

[Interviewer]

How does he see you?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I think he sees me as a really remarkable, like, kind, ambitious. He thinks I am, you know, my creative work is amazing and I don't necessarily believe those things about myself all the time.

[Interviewer]

You have said that you worry that being bipolar will affect your creativity.

[Joel Kim Booster]

I worried at the start that being medicated for being bipolar would affect my creativity. I think that some of my most creative moments have been in the midst of a hypomanic episode. And I think it's very difficult. One of the most difficult parts about transitioning to being medicated for this and was worrying and missing the mania in a lot of ways because when I'm manic or hypomanic, yeah, I'm like the, the thing about him, you know, bipolar two, as in bipolar two we experience hypomanic episodes, not full on manic episodes, which can be quite worse. But hypomania is still, you know, not a cakewalk. But I just say that to be specific. I'll probably refer to it as manic episode somewhere else later down the line. But if you know the difference, you know the difference. But when I'm manic It is. I am oftentimes the most charismatic, fun loving, like, jovial version of myself until I'm not. And I also can be very creative in that period and, you know, can write for hours and hours and hours, and it. The hits never stop. And then, you know, something happens that disrupts my routine or my plan for the day, and it just. I snap and it all turns to anger and rage and I'm no longer a fun version of myself.

[Interviewer]

When that happens in your relationship, do you and your husband have a thing that y' all do so that he doesn't take it personal? Maybe gives you your space and lets you kind of sit in that episode? Cause sometimes that can. Yeah, I ruin relationships.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, definitely. I think even in the fog of war, I am aware of. I don't know. I try not to direct as much of it to him as I probably will. I'm hyper. The shittiest thing about my brain is that I'm hyper aware of who I have the currency with to get away with some outrageous behavior. And with him, as much as I know that he has seen the worst of it and, you know, is committed to standing by me through a lot of it, he is also not someone who is going to be a doormat about it and is very firm and has been very firm. And like, I understand the hurt and the pain of these moments for you, but you don't have the currency to treat me a certain way. And it's been a journey and it's been a lot of trial and error, but I think, like, I am hyper aware of that. And I think that even in the midst of some of my worst moments, I am able to really fixate my brain on how important he is to me and how much I cannot this up.

[Interviewer]

What do I see in your eyes?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I'm trying to.

[Interviewer]

Allergies or emotion?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Probably a little column A, a little column B. But I just think, like, he is, again, not the reason I take care of myself, but he is a huge motivating factor in. In making sure that I show up to be the best version of myself for our marriage.

[Interviewer]

I'm so damn happy that that little you has got him.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, me too.

[Interviewer]

Because that little you that went through what he went through deserved a John Michael.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

And someone who would make you feel the way he does.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah. I think I'd spent most of my life imagining what it would be like to fall in love with a person, and I never once stopped to consider what it would be like to be loved by a person. And how transformative can be. And it took. It takes a lot. It took a lot of therapy and a lot of time for me to accept it and receive it in fully. But it is one of the best feelings to just sort of let yourself go and feel how, like I said, transformative and safe it can feel to just let yourself be loved by someone else.

[Interviewer]

Have you told him this?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yes, that was a very big part of my wedding vows.

[Interviewer]

You've said the last six months of your life have been some of the most stable.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, because of. I think because of, you know, our marriage. I think my cadence with my medication. I found a really good balance of the right doses, the right medication, and I think, like, it's been easier to, you know, handle some of the dips and highs that come with my brain. And it has just been a good mix of a lot of environmental factors and a lot of chemical factors, I think, that have made the last six months a little bit easier.

[Interviewer]

Would anybody in Plainfield who went to high school with you have thought you would have turned out to be who you are today?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Not a single one. Not a single one. Not anyone I went to college with. Not anyone that I went to high school with. I know. Don't think.

[Interviewer]

Are you still in some way trying to prove something to those people?

[Joel Kim Booster]

You know, I think I'm trying to prove it to myself. I think more so than anything, because I didn't. I don't. I think part of the reason no one believed that I would have arrived at this moment in my life is because I don't think anyone got the sense that I believed I would arrive at this moment in my life.

[Interviewer]

Can we agree that one person did?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yes, Sarah did. But, you know. So I don't blame anybody. And I certainly wasn't, like, popping off in any interesting way. I was not the most talented. I was not the most prolific person in high school or college. And a lot of my success has come as a result of, yes, hard work, but a lot of luck and a lot of consistency on my part.

[Interviewer]

Let's both agree that sometimes the people who can have the biggest impact on our lives for the better are people who we don't seek out, are people who don't necessarily seek us out, but people we just maybe bump into, share a moment and a minute with, and then come to realize that they are chosen family.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Because it seems like she's your chosen family.

[Joel Kim Booster]

100%.

[Interviewer]

On the heels of this wonderful conversation we've had. What do you want her to know?

[Joel Kim Booster]

It's Hard. That's a hard question, because I think she knows it's not supposed to be easy. No. You know, I think like, she and I have been. Are very close and very free with our sort of gassing each other up. And I think that she has always known how important her support and how much I appreciate her support. I think for me, I want her to know that she may never get the accolades or the amount of followers or attention that I will get from. But I think that. And I think she knows this because I have told this to her and told this to other people. But I think she's a rock star. I think she's a superhero. I think that she is someone who is doing real work in her community. Real tangible results of that work can be seen all over the community. And I think that she is someone who is actively changing the world in ways that, you know, may never get the same amount of attention or appreciation for the work that I do. But it is. And she knows this ten times more important.

[Interviewer]

Well, then how cool has it been for you to sit here for the better part of an hour and shine the light on her?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Very cool. I. I think she, you know, she consumes pretty much everything I do, so she will stumble upon this eventually and listen to it, and I will probably send it to her. But she. These, these stories and these things are not realizations for her. I think she would, I think in a tongue in cheek way, take. Take responsibility for a lot of the great things in my life, in my career.

[Interviewer]

She will.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

This is. Is this her daughter?

[Joel Kim Booster]

This is her daughter. This is Ed.

[Interviewer]

I heard that you told my producer one thing you want to do is do as much as you can in some way for the little girl.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Just as a way of giving back.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah. No, I mean, listen, I grew up with nothing. I have more than I ever thought I would have at this point. And I'll never, like, be used to not living paycheck to paycheck. And so if I can provide for them things that I never had as a kid, like, I'm definitely gonna step up and do that.

[Interviewer]

Where is Joel Kim booster in 20 years?

[Joel Kim Booster]

Hopefully, you know, at my kids, you know, middle school or high school graduation at this point and hopefully living a life that is less centered around self promotion and begging and scraping and just getting on my knees to people to, you know, hopefully come and see my shows and things like that and like, be at a. At enough of a stable point in my career that I'm not necessarily worried where the next mortgage payment is coming from.

[Interviewer]

Regarding those kids, do you dream about making their life the kind of life

[Joel Kim Booster]

you wish you would have had all the time? And, you know, my sister's very religious, is raising them very religious, and I just want to be able to be an outlet and a source of safety for them if and when they ever want to explore the world outside of the very tiny one that they're. That's being constructive for them.

[Interviewer]

And one nieces and nephews.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

I want to end with a picture. We started with one for the people listening and not watching. This is a photo of Joel when

[Joel Kim Booster]

you were probably 27, maybe.

[Interviewer]

Okay. Handsome backwards hat, but with a little bit of a timid look on the face. So imagine that's the younger self. What would you tell that kid now?

[Joel Kim Booster]

I would say you have everything figured out that you need to arrive at the place that I'm speaking to you from. You know, jack shit all about pretty much anything else. I think, like, continue. And I would say to him that, like, I would caution him to think he knows the ending of any story in his life until he has some distance from it. Because I think that's the biggest mistake that I have made over the course of my adulthood is thinking I understand the arc and the ending of a story before it's actually come to an end and making decisions based on what I think the ending of the a story might be before I've let it run its course fully and been too close to it to understand the actual arc of it and to maybe not. Try to tie everything in a neat bow because you think it's the end of the story because you're too close to it.

[Interviewer]

This has been 10 times better than I hoped. How's it been for you?

[Joel Kim Booster]

It's been great. Yeah. You've asked the right questions, and you've made it very easy for me to be open.

[Interviewer]

Thanks for coming with an open heart.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Yeah, definitely.

[Interviewer]

Thanks for having me, man. I can't wait to cheer you on. You got a new big fan.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Thank you so much.

[Interviewer]

A new big fan.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Hey, I'm Joel Kim Booster, and the person who believed in me is my best friend, Sarah Casey.

[Interviewer]

I thought you might want to know, but this podcast is at the heart of a company I founded called Do Good Crew. I've spent 25 years telling stories. It used to be the bad news, and now I want to focus on the good news. The everyday heroes who are doing extraordinary things. You can join us. We do live events, but we also have a newsletter. It's free. You can sign up for it by going to www.thedogoodcrew.com. our podcast was created by me, David Beck know. Our executive producer is Olivier Delfoss. Our booker is Sully Block. Foster Parks is our Director of Photography Audio Technical Production is Joseph Gabay and Will Whitley from Static Creative. Our Associate Producer is Jonah Johnson. Our Director of Social Media is Mariah Maul. The theme music for our show was created by our friends at Slipstream. Post production and edit was done by Long Wave Digital. If this episode moved you in any way, consider subscribing to our YouTube channel or following and rating our show on whatever platform you're listening on. This really is the best way to help our show grow and touch more people, and we thank you for it. And one more thing before you go. If you want to join our crew, go to thedogoodcrew.com you'll love what we're doing.

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