We React to Crazy Money Reddit Stories With Paula Pant

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Personal Finance Podcast

Episode: “We React to Crazy Money Reddit Stories With Paula Pant”

Host: Andrew Giancola
Guest: Paula Pant
Release Date: January 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively, candid episode, Andrew Giancola is joined by Paula Pant (host of the Afford Anything Podcast) to react to some of the wildest and most controversial personal finance stories found on Reddit. Together, they dissect a series of “Am I the Jerk?” scenarios, offering sharp, humorous, and insightful commentary on everything from family drama over money to financial boundary setting, partnership pitfalls, co-signing disasters, and shocking acts of financial betrayal. The discussion blends empathy, tough love, and practical advice, highlighting the psychology behind financial choices and the ripple effects these choices can have on personal relationships.

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Key Discussions & Insights

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1. Inheriting Property and Flaunting Wealth

[04:00–05:39]

A Reddit poster debates whether his friend—who inherited a $1M home—should be calling himself a millionaire and presenting himself as an “investment advisor” to impress women.

• Paula’s Take:
  • “He is a millionaire. He’s also so cringe and a douchebag.” (Paula Pant, 04:15)
  • Technically, yes, the home’s value makes him a millionaire, but bragging about inherited wealth and fabricating investment credentials is “super cringe” and dishonest.
• Andrew’s Analysis:
  • Both parties show insecurity: one by showing off, one by being jealous.
  • The story reflects deeper issues around money psychology and self-worth.

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2. Hiding Wealth from Family With Poor Money Habits

[07:50–10:32]

A financially responsible couple hides their $4M retirement savings from family members notorious for bad money habits and debt, sparking tension when the truth leaks out.

• Paula’s Advice:
  • “Pretend you don’t have money. That’s a great way to go.” (Paula Pant, 07:50)
  • Living below your means and maintaining boundaries can prevent unhealthy family dynamics.
  • If you choose to give money, clarify if it’s a gift, not a loan: “People will fool themselves into the 'I’ll pay you back' thing… If you straight up say this is a gift, there’s a level of awkwardness,” (Paula Pant, 09:16).
• Andrew’s Take:
  • Set clear boundaries and understand that enabling bad money habits does more harm than good.

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3. Should a Spouse Sacrifice a Friendship Fund for a House Down Payment?

[13:15–16:46]

A husband is frustrated that his wife won’t use her $20k savings, pooled with friends for future investments, toward their house down payment. She refuses, citing a promise to her friends.

• Paula’s Perspective:
  • Praises wife’s fidelity to her word: “It is unprincipled to break that promise.” (Paula Pant, 13:19)
  • Warns about the legal risks of joint, informal group savings (only one friend’s name on the account).
• Andrew’s Insight:
  • Strongly advises against casual joint investing with friends, especially without legal structures like an LLC.
  • Recognizes the emotional and relational pitfalls of mixing close friendships with vague money plans.
• Memorable Quote:
  • “Partnerships are ships that never sail.” (Andrew Giancola, 17:16)

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4. Suing Parents for Misusing College Fund

[17:32–23:15]

A woman sues her parents for spending her great-aunt’s college fund (meant for female relatives) on her brother’s wedding. Family says she’s dramatic and ‘airing dirty laundry’ by taking them to court.

• Paula’s View:
  • Supports the lawsuit: “She’s not posting about this on TikTok. She’s going to a court of law. That is seeking justice for money that was stolen from her.” (Paula Pant, 19:32)
  • The brother’s refusal to sign a repayment contract reveals bad faith.
  • “The only time that people want you to avoid a legally binding contract is when it benefits them.” (Paula Pant, 21:03)
• Andrew’s Reflection:
  • Parents violated both the great-aunt’s wishes and their daughter’s future prospects, disregarding educational empowerment.
• Memorable Commentary:
  • “It means they don’t value her being able to be an independent adult.” (Paula Pant, 23:05)

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5. Co-Signing a Loan and Reaping the Consequences

[30:11–32:15]

A son refuses to bail out his mom after she ignored his advice and co-signed a lavish truck loan for her brother, now defaulting.

• Paula’s Honest Appraisal:
  • “Everybody sucks here. The mom… is dumb and a jerk… Uncle is a jerk … and son is being not compassionate.” (Paula Pant, 30:11)
  • Even if you’re right, compassion matters when someone you love is suffering the consequences of their choices.
• Andrew’s Warning:
  • “I am not a huge proponent of co-signing loans … I would not co-sign on any loans for anyone.” (Andrew Giancola, 31:44)

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6. The Rent Scam: Boyfriend Secretly Collects ‘Rent’ for Free House

[34:00–36:38]

A grad student discovers her boyfriend has been secretly pocketing the “rent” she’s been paying—unaware his parents own their house rent-free. When caught, he claims he was ‘saving’ her money to gift back someday.

• Paula’s Judgment:
  • “You are underreacting. … To lie to somebody, basically steal their money, and then when you get caught, position it like a gift … That’s not a partner, that’s a parent-child relationship.” (Paula Pant, 34:00)
  • Raises issue of financial abuse and the importance of directly understanding and managing legal agreements.
• Andrew’s Verdict:
  • “I think you gotta break up with him. That’s kind of what you have to do right now.” (Andrew Giancola, 35:01)
  • Alert to red flags and the importance of transparency in shared finances.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “He is technically a millionaire … but he’s also super cringe by lying to people and saying that he’s an investment advisor.” (Paula Pant, 04:32)
• “The best battle is the one never fought – Sun Tzu.” (Paula Pant, 08:09)
• “If you give them money and then you are asking for the money back, then they're going to start resenting you even though you gave them that money.” (Andrew Giancola, 08:36)
• “A promise is a promise, and I do applaud her for … standing by her word.” (Paula Pant, 16:18)
• “It’s only $13,000, but imagine if it’s financial abuse that can happen in a marriage to the tune of hundreds of thousands.” (Paula Pant, 36:08)
• “That is patronizing … That’s not a partner, that’s a parent-child relationship.” (Paula Pant, 34:00)

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Financial and Relationship Themes

• Boundaries: Setting firm boundaries is crucial, especially with family members with bad money habits.
• Transparency: Open communication about money—especially in relationships and partnerships—prevents betrayal and abuse.
• Trust & Legal Protections: Always use contracts when lending money or entering shared investments—even with family.
• Emotional Traps: “Gift or loan” ambiguity and emotional manipulation (guilt trips) often underpin financial disputes.
• Partnerships: Group investments with friends are risky; legal structures and clear agreements are vital.
• Compassion vs. Enabling: Caring for financially irresponsible loved ones doesn’t mean enabling reckless behavior.

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Where to Find the Guest

Paula Pant:

• Host of the Afford Anything Podcast: “You can afford anything, not everything.”
• Available on all major podcast apps and at YouTube.com/affordanything

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Conclusion

Andrew Giancola and Paula Pant’s Reddit story deep-dive delivers a no-nonsense, empathetic, and often hilarious take on some of the trickiest money dilemmas. If you enjoy learning from real-world cautionary tales, this episode is packed with wisdom on boundaries, honesty, and protecting yourself from financial and emotional pitfalls.

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Useful Timestamps:

• Inheriting Property & “Millionaire” Claims: [04:00–05:39]
• Family Boundaries & Hiding Wealth: [07:50–10:32]
• Spousal Money Promises & Friend Pools: [13:15–16:46]
• Suing Parents Over Education Fund: [17:32–23:15]
• Co-signing Loan Disasters: [30:11–32:15]
• Fake Rent & Relationship Betrayal: [34:00–36:38]

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Listen for sharp advice, strong opinions, and a dose of laughter on how to handle — or avoid — personal finance train wrecks.

Transcript

[Paula Pant]

Unfortunately put herself in the position where she got screwed. You know, uncle is a jerk for putting his sister in a position to screw her over and son is being not compassionate.

[Host]

Like it doesn't even make any sense whatsoever. I mean, this is just a crazy scenario that I think is honestly just one of those situations where she says she doesn't know what to do. I think you got to break up with him is what you got to do.

[Paula Pant]

That it's clear the parents do not value her getting educated.

[Host]

Right.

[Paula Pant]

You know, they don't value her future prospects because. And fundamentally, what does that mean? It means they don't value or being able to be an independent adult.

[Host]

All right, so Paula, welcome back to the personal finance podcast.

[Paula Pant]

Thank you. I'm, I'm excited to be here.

[Host]

So we're going to react to some crazy Reddit situations that we have found And Paul, I can't wait to hear some of the reactions that you have to some of these because some of these are absolutely wild and hilarious and I know our audience has asked for a ton more of these coming up. So, so we're going to go through a bunch of these and we'll, we'll see what happens. Foreign and if you're still paying rent without Bilt, it's time for a change. BILT is the loyalty program for renters that rewards you for your biggest expense, which is rent. With Bilt, every rent payment earns you points that can be redeemed towards flights, hotels, Lyft rides and Amazon purchase, plus so much more. And here's something new. Starting in February, Built members will be able to earn points on mortgage payments too. So whether you rent or you own, you'll get something back. Personally, I'd redeem my built points towards a flight because getting rewarded for paying rent and then turning that into a free trip, now That's a win. Plus you can unlock benefits to over 45,000 plus partners like fitness studios, restaurants, pharmacies, even GoPuff Delivery. It's simple. Paying rent is better with Bilt, and soon owning a home will be better too. So join the loyalty program for renters [e-mail] Pfp that's J O I N B I L T.com Pfp make sure you use our URL so they know we sent you. So you just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. So how do you find amazing candidates Fast? It's easy. You just use indeed when it comes to hiring, indeed is all you need. Stop struggling to get your job. Post seen on Other Job Sites Indeed's Sponsored Jobs help you stand out and hire fast. Your post jumps to the top of the page for the most relevant candidates so you reach the right people faster and it makes a huge difference. According to INDEED data, sponsored jobs posted directly on indeed get 45% more applications than non sponsored jobs. There are no monthly subscriptions, no long term contracts, and you only pay for results. In fact, while I've been reading this ad, 23 hires were made on INDEED Worldwide. There's no need to wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit. To boost your post visibility@ Indeed.com personal finance, just go to Indeed.com personal finance and support this show by letting them know you heard it here. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. My friend thinks he's hot shit since he inherited his grandparents home. It's a large house worth approximately a million dollars. He rents out several bedrooms to make up for the taxes because he can't afford the upkeep of the home on his own. He went to the club and introduced himself to a couple of girls as an investment advisor and took them back to his place to have a swim in the pool. He told the girls he's a millionaire and whatever I told him it's cringe because he's not even a millionaire just because his house is worth it. My friend laughed in my face saying since the home is an asset and paid off, technically he is a millionaire if he decides to sell his house today. I told him houses aren't liquid assets so it's not really like he's one. He blocked me and all of our other friends. It acts like I'm the a hole for saying anything, but I think he's deceiving and cringe for him to go around telling people he's a millionaire. Paula, what do you think about that and is he a millionaire?

[Paula Pant]

He is a millionaire. He's also so cringe and a douchebag.

[Host]

I think that's one of those areas too. Like it's if you're walking around announcing that you're a millionaire just based on, you know, inheriting an asset and you have, you know, that asset in place. I mean that's just a huge red flag in and of itself starting off there.

[Paula Pant]

Yeah, he is technically a millionaire. You know, homes worth a million bucks. It's paid off free and clear. He has an asset that's over a million dollars. He is a millionaire. He's also super cringe by, by lying to people and saying that he's an investment advisor. He's not. You know, like, he could just say, hey, I got super lucky. And like, I have the world's greatest granddad, you know, God rest his soul. And like, he could be honest or he could just like, not mention where the house came from and you know, like. So yeah, I think he's a douchebag for lying, but he is technically a millionaire. But the fact that his friend, this guy cares enough about this to think that he like needs to call him out on it and then to post about it on Reddit, like his buddy is also jealous.

[Host]

Right? There's some, there's definitely some insecurities going on on both directions there. And I think for most of them they're either overcompensating for something. I don't know what they're doing there, but both of them seemingly are. You know, one is jealous and the other one is trying to just show off in some way, shape or form. So that, that is the very interesting one for sure.

[Paula Pant]

Yeah, everyone's insecure here.

[Host]

Exactly. Overall, yeah, for sure. And we could see. If you haven't heard our other episode that we did with Paul, we talked deeply about money psychology. There's a lot of money psychology going on in these situations that I think are really going to become present here in a second. Am I the a hole for pretending I don't have money so my family won't bother me? My wife, 52 and I, 51, recently partly retired with $4 million in savings, 1 million of which is our home. I am a systems engineer and my wife is a registered nurse. I still work part time contract, but less than 20 hours per week. And my wife is fully retired. We are very frugal people and try to save where we can. I've also made it clear to my wife to never tell my family we have money and to pretend that we are dead broke. Her family knows we do well, but they never ask about money. My family won't stop asking me for money. My mom, dad and brother are terrible with money. My dad and brother both work in oil and gas which results in a few fat years and tons of money coming in followed with layoffs. Not saying the layoffs are their fault, but they have never saved anything so they run up credit cards to pay for everything. My parents have borrowed against their house so many times, they effectively haven't paid anything towards principal and have had that house for 35 years. They should be retired but can't and my dad recently had to go back to work as a school bus driver because they have so much debt and no money. My brother inherited their spending issues and had alcohol struggles and he's currently going through his second divorce. I didn't tell my son not to tell his grandparents. We recently retired and they found out from him recently and have been calling me livid because we pretended we were broke for years. But clearly if we can retire, we have savings. I didn't tell them because I know the results are they would just ask us for money constantly. They have on several occasions when we went on vacation, found out via Facebook and have since learned not to post. And they come knocking for money every single time. We lied and told them we won some money but had spent it all on vacation. Am I obligated to help them? I don't feel so because both of my parents and brother made lots over their career. But my dad is in his 70s and still working. I'm sure they are contacting me to ask for money, but am I the jerk if I continue to pretend I have none?

[Paula Pant]

Man, first, props to this person for being surrounded by people with bad money habits and being the one person in the family. He and his wife have great money habits. Props to him for that. And I think it's perfectly reasonable to pretend that you don't have money because a, it shows that he lives below his means. I mean, the only way you can pretend you don't have money is if you're like living a cheap life, which is great. He's happy doing it. Wonderful. But yeah, man, pretend you don't have money. That's a great way to go. It avoids, you know, it avoids conflict. It avoids these awkward conversations. The best battle is the one never fought Sun Tzu.

[Host]

Exactly. And I think overall, especially with family situations. But in any situation, if someone's going to ask you for money that you have one of two options. You can either give them the money and not ask for it back. So if you have to give somebody money, you can either give them the money or not ask for it back. Otherwise, if you do give them the money and they don't pay you back, then you are going to resent them for not paying you back. But if you give them the money and then you are asking for the money back, then they're going to start resenting you even though you gave them that money. There's a whole dynamic there that could cause you so many different issues. So you have one of two options. Either you say, hey, it's just I don't give money out to family or friends. And you just let them know, set those boundaries. If they don't respect those boundaries, that's a whole nother red flag. But then secondarily again, you can continue to pretend like you're broke and it's not their business to know how much money you have in the first place. And so that's completely okay in my book. Do you agree?

[Paula Pant]

Yeah, yeah, totally. I'd say just flat out, if you're going to give them anything like look, this is not a loan, this is a gift. Right. And be really upfront, this is a gift to. Because people will fool themselves into the I'll pay you back thing in order to absolve themselves of guilt. Right. If you straight up, flat out no holds bar say this is a gift. People are often, they don't want to accept something that is just a gift because when it's so blatant that it's a gift, you know, like there's a level of awkwardness there versus if people can fool themselves into thinking no, I'll pay you back eventually.

[Host]

Right?

[Paula Pant]

Right. So if you're going to give someone a gift, tell them I'm giving this to you. You do not have to ever give it back to me. This is a gift for you. And if you're not going to do that, which I think that this guy shouldn't.

[Host]

Right.

[Paula Pant]

Because his family's proven to have bad money habits, you know, then, then just say no, I'm retired. That means I'm on a fixed income.

[Host]

Right.

[Paula Pant]

You know, I'm a pensioner now on a fixed income.

[Host]

Exactly. And I think overall it's, it's, that's the two options. It's either it's gifting it. But if you see these, this perpetual money behavior that just over and over and over again, they're bad with money. Usually that's a situation where I'm not.

[Paula Pant]

That'S enabling, you know. Yeah. Then you're just enabling them and, and that does them a disservice.

[Host]

Exactly. And I think the more you enable people, I mean there's, there's so many studies on this, but the more you enable people who are just not good with money, it just really just compounds over time. And I think that's, that's the biggest thing. Am I the jerk for asking my wife to spend all her savings? So I'm a 34 year old male married to the love of my life who is a 33 year old female. My wife is kind, nurturing, and motivated in her career. She does a lot for me at home and I work long hours. We married four months ago, dated for eight years and we're both easygoing and have the same sense of humor and rarely argue. I make four times more money I'm in healthcare, but she makes a good salary as well. Since I make four times what she makes, I tend to pay for most things dinners, weekend trips, mall shopping, which I absolutely do not mind with bigger purchases. We pay for things together in proportion to what we make and she's usually okay with paying her share of things, a quarter of the rent and groceries and everything else, and will sometimes offer to pay for dinners and dates. She's very close with her friends. She has four. They're great people but they're basically attached at the hip and talk daily in a group chat, which is fine. Everyone needs a support system. I have similar friends. Her and her four friends have a combined savings account together for investing in something together and they've each been putting in a few hundred dollars per month each. I've known about this for years and didn't love the idea initially which I expressed, but she was adamant she wanted this and at the time we were hurting for money and it was ultimately her money and her decision. We are now looking to buy a home in one of the most expensive real estate markets in the US and she expresses that she doesn't have much in her own savings but has 20k of her own money tied up with her friends combined savings. Over the last year they've been told by two financial advisors that five people attempting to invest together in real estate or stocks or a business wasn't a good idea and they also recommended to split the funds to five separate accounts since the account is under one of the friends names and there are tax implications for having that amount of money to her name which is like $100,000. The homes we were looking at were around 60 to $70,000 for the down payment. I stated I was willing to spend nearly all of my savings for the down payment for a home. So I told her she should pull all that money from her joint friend's account to help with the down payment. It's a huge purchase and I don't think it should be my burden alone. She got really upset with me and told me I don't want to touch that money. I promised my friends it would be for us investing together and we should look for a less expensive home then maybe a fixer upper. She stated it would be easier for you to accrue the money back since you make so much more now. This is very frustrating. And I told her it's unfair. I have to spend nearly all of my savings and you don't. Your friend front is stupid, and it's stupid not to use that money on our future home. Am I the jerk for asking her to use her own cash from her friend's account and break her promise to her friends so that we can buy a nice home together?

[Paula Pant]

There's a lot going on there. Let's. Let's unpack it because there is some boundary setting and independence and like, there's some stuff that needs to happen here. First of all, I fully support this, is she promised her friends, she made a promise to her four best friends that this money is earmarked for them. I actually applaud her for being true to her word, for not going back on her word. And I do think that he's a jerk for asking her to violate her word right, to break a promise to her best friends. Like it is unprincipled to break that promise. That being said, the money that's in the account, all five of their names should be on that. The money belongs to all five of them. So all five of their names should be on it or it should be held in the name of an llc and all five of them should be equally owners of the llc. Like there needs to be the proper paperwork drawn up to legally protect all of them.

[Host]

Exactly. And I think if you look at one account with one person, the tax implications are the first part. And that's just one huge thing that I think, you know, that person, depending on what's going on there, they could have some massive tax implications. Number two is that, you know, having only one person on there without the rest of them associated with that, I mean, she could, if she wanted to, she could take the money and run if she wanted to. Even though each person is contributing money into that account, it's a liability. I know they're best friends, but it is a liability. And I do agree with you. If they had an agreement even prior to them being married, you know, they were dating at that point in time and they had an agreement with, you know, all of their friends. It's not like it's their combined money, it's her money that she had separate. I think that's a place in time where, you know, he, he should not be asking for that. They just need to find a different way or find another house that, that kind of works for them. And so Overall, there's a lot of things going on here, but it's really a wild situation. Honestly, I would never. I mean, we don't recommend things here, but I would never say. I would never, you know, invest with a bunch of my friends, you know, into something specific that could just cause friendship rifts. There could be a lot of different relationship issues that could happen there. Money tears people apart if you start to. To bring it into relationships. And I think that is one of the areas where, if I was her, I would try to get it separated or, and, or just put it into a business or an LLC and just consider that money gone if you lose it.

[Paula Pant]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I agree. I would, I would not want. You know what, it's funny to me, like, they don't even have an idea of what kind of business or investment they want to. Like. It's just this amorphous, like, we, we all want to work on a project together. It's. It's so ambiguous. Like, I don't know what they're going to do with that money. They'd. Honestly, they'd be better off just taking that money and spending it on a big trip or spending it on. Or maybe they all want to, like, jointly make some big, like, charitable donation together. I don't know. Like, I certainly can. Can see some issues coming if they all decided that they were going to, like, have a side hustle together as the five of them, you know, like. Yeah, yeah.

[Host]

And talk about lost opportunity cost, too. I mean.

[Paula Pant]

Yeah, exactly. But, you know, the. A promise is a promise. And I do applaud her for, like, state. She promised her friends this, and they've all been making sacrifices of their own in order to put this money in. So, like, you know, it wouldn't be fair for one person to go back on their word when the other four people have, you know, stood by their word.

[Host]

Agreed. You got to stick with it. And I think, you know, for. For this, they got to find another way to buy a house. But it is. It's just a wild situation. I've never heard of that. Have you ever heard of anybody doing that?

[Paula Pant]

No, no. Especially, you know, man with just one person's name on it. It's like, there's so much risk there. Yeah. That person can totally, if they wanted to. And it's, you know, when it comes to, like, trust, people often are so blind to, like, the risks. You know, you. You'll protect yourself from risk in all of these other ways, but you trust somebody. You don't want to think the worst of them. But the reality is they have the right to completely screw you over. And that's a. That necessarily creates a power imbalance. Right.

[Host]

And I think, you know, I've heard the reference or the saying, partnerships are ships that never sail. And I. That I think in large groups like this, that could be a lot more true where there's just too many personalities, too many things going on, and it becomes a lot more difficult.

[Paula Pant]

Yeah.

[Host]

So am I the jerk for suing my parents for my college money? So my great aunt set up savings accounts for all her female relatives. In our culture, education for women is not really valued and she thought that was bs. She lived with her father in London and she was educated and she went on to attend university and become a doctor. She married a British man and they moved to America and had a great life. And she funded the education of as many of her nieces and grand nieces as she could. When she passed away, she left money for every girl relative she could. My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I and they used it to pay for my brother's wedding. My sister didn't care because she got married two years out of high school and had no intention of going to college. When I graduated, I went to the bank to get money for school and it was almost all gone. There was like $13,000 left. I asked my parents about it and they said they had needed the money. I finally found out where the money went and I was furious. I got student loans and moved out. I am a great source of shame to them and I don't give two Fs. I am currently suing them for the money that was left to me. My entire family is against me. They think that I am a complete a hole for airing private family business in public and that I am putting money ahead of my family. My friends are all on my side, but they are all Americans that don't really get my culture. Neither do I, to be honest. My brother called me up and offered to pay for my university if I dropped the lawsuit. I agreed as long as we had a legally binding contract. He said I was being a jerk for not trusting him and I said he should not have accepted the money for his wedding. It is causing all kinds of embarrassment in our community. I'm somewhat ashamed to be doing this, but I don't want to have this debt. I should not have. So am I the jerk for suing my parents?

[Paula Pant]

Wow. This. Oh my goodness. So, all right, first of all, all of the accusations that her family is hurtling towards her. Let's flip that around. They are embarrassed that she's airing family laundry. She's not posting about this on TikTok.

[Host]

Right.

[Paula Pant]

She's going to a court of law. Right. That's not airing dirty laundry. That is seeking justice for money that was stolen from her there. If they're embarrassed that she's airing family business, they created family business. Right. They created the dirty laundry. They dirty that laundry. Right. Second of all, the fact that the brother will not sign a legally binding document shows that he doesn't ever intend to actually pay her.

[Host]

Right.

[Paula Pant]

You know, if he intends to pay her, then sign the document. And. And the fact that he's putting it on her, like, what, you don't trust me?

[Host]

Oh, no.

[Paula Pant]

You know, like, really, it's really.

[Host]

Those guilt trips are the. The biggest red flag overall. I've seen it time and time again where people will try to have these conversations. They will not sign, you know, a legal document, but they will try to say, hey, you know, we have this bond, we have this trust. We're family. They'll say, you know, use terms like that, where it ends up becoming a situation that maybe they'll pay you for a month or maybe it's three months, but then all of a sudden down the line, you will see, they will stop paying. You can see even, you know, in the real estate world, you know, you and I have had rental properties, and you'll see tenants say stuff like this, hey, we've. I've been a tenant for a really long time. You know, maybe I don't need to sign a lease. Or we can go month, you know, month to month, some of these other things. And you see it over and over again where people will try to use your psychology or try to use emotion in order to get you to do what they want you to do. And it usually never lasts. You gotta have the contracts in place.

[Paula Pant]

You know, it's funny because the only time that people want you to avoid a legally binding contract is when it benefits them.

[Host]

Right?

[Paula Pant]

Right. You never hear that argument the other way around. You never hear somebody who's like, trying to get you to avoid a legally binding contract in a situation in which that the. The avoidance of that contract would benefit you and harm them.

[Host]

Exactly.

[Paula Pant]

People only ever try to get you to avoid the contract if they're the ones who benefit from it.

[Host]

And the parents caused a huge rift here because it really. It's not their money to take. The aunt left it for them, so they Go to college. It was a huge thing, was a huge thing of value to her. You can see right here that she talked about this, that she, she was educated and it made a huge impact on her life and that's what her wishes were for her nieces. And so I think that's just a really, really important thing that they are kind of stealing from her. And it's something that, you know, they have no right to take that money whatsoever. Now if the parents actually, this is something interesting, Paula. If the parents contributed money for her college and then needed to use it for something, what do you think? Do you think they'd be in the right for taking it then?

[Paula Pant]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think. I think Once you turn 18, your parents financial obligations to you are over. And so from the moment that you are 18, you're an adult, you're out of the house. Like, good luck, kid. See, you know, like, exactly. So, yeah, so the, the parents are, well, totally, completely within their right to cut off all support from the minute she turns 18. That's totally fine. But this is different. This is money left to her from a great, from a great aunt.

[Host]

Right. And I think it's, it's just, it's one of those things where they cause the parents, cause the rift right there. I mean, that, that's a huge, huge deal. Even, like, maybe the brother understood ahead of time that that money was coming from that account and didn't tell her. That'd be a bigger issue too.

[Paula Pant]

Yeah.

[Host]

But that is, that is just a crazy family dynamic and I would not want to be involved in that situation whatsoever.

[Paula Pant]

Yeah. And I got to admit, when I saw the headline and it was like suing my parents my first, I was like, wow, the entitlement. Right, Right. But then, man, hearing the story, it's like the parents just. It's clear the parents do not value her getting educated.

[Host]

Right.

[Paula Pant]

You know, they don't value her future prospects because. And fundamentally, what does that mean? It means they don't value her being able to be an independent adult.

[Host]

Right.

[Paula Pant]

You know, they think that she should probably just get married and depend on somebody else and not have any form of financial independence of her own.

[Host]

Right. And I think that's just. Overall, it's just, they robbed her of that. And her having to go into debt because of it is another big thing I think that, that most people need to realize. One of my biggest financial goals for 2026 is building up our travel fund as my family is going on a bunch of big vacations next year and after the chaos of holiday spending, Monarch has been the reset that I need. It's an all in one personal finance tool that shows you the full picture. It shows you accounts, budgets, net worth, goals, all in one dashboard. I use it to review our December spending, set fresh budgets and build a monthly plan for that travel fund. It even gives me a weekly money recap and tracks our savings progress so we stay on pace. And now with Monarch's new AI features like their AI assistant and personalized insights, it's easier than ever to actually stick to your goals this new year. Achieve your financial goals for good. 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So back in 2022, my uncle, who was 36 at the time, asked my mom who was 50, to co sign a loan for a truck. My mom agreed because he told her he was going to use it for business as a subcontractor. I overheard my mom discussing this with my dad who was 49 when he passed away. My dad said it was not a good idea, but my mom always made the final decision. He gave up and did not argue. I joined in and told her there was a good reason why the bank did not want to give him a loan on that truck and that she shouldn't be risking her nearly perfect credit score. My mom argued that he was using it to start his business and already had multiple contracts lined up which she claimed to have seen. I told her he did not need a brand new F250 Lariat SuperCrew. There was plenty of reasonably priced used F250XLs at half the cost. She replied that I did not know what I was talking about and he was in construction and knew the truck he needed and that I was just a kid with no life experience and she told me to leave her alone because I was annoying. At the time, I was 23 and also working in the trades. Framers don't need a super duty truck, let alone a luxury trim. I tried convincing her, but she gave me the silent treatment and acted like I was being manipulative. I did some side work on his site repairing his GC semi truck. Literally every material is hauled through his other subs or by the GC himself. He could have gotten a cheap half truck and it would have been more than enough. Now I am 26, my dad died two years ago and my mom only has one income and still has $300,000 in the mortgage. She is already struggling financially and she called me last week and asked me to help her manage her finances. She showed me a letter from the bank stating that they will repossess my uncle's truck unless the balance is paid. It turns out my uncle does not know how to manage a business and he has had not a single contract in months and is terrible with money. He used to gamble away his entire paychecks and spend on designer clothes. None of this surprised me. I told my mom there was nothing I could do and I reminded her that I begged her not to go through with this more than three years ago and she ignored me because I was just a kid. I told her I was not going to waste my time helping idiots who don't want to be helped. And I am sorry. So am I the jerk for how I responded.

[Paula Pant]

Ooh, I think everybody sucks here. Yep, absolutely everyone sucks. The mom. Mom is dumb and a jerk for not listening to her kid, for dismissing her kid, her kid's ideas because the kid was too young for not having her own. You know, she's old enough to have some defenses built up and. And she unfortunately put herself in the position where she got screwed. You know, uncle is a jerk for putting his sister in a position to screw her over and son is being not compassionate. You know, like he did provide good advice. I understand why he's a little miffed that she didn't listen to him, but now he's just kind of kicking her when she's down.

[Host]

Exactly. And I think overall if you look at the situation as a whole, I am not a huge proponent of co signing loans whatsoever. Especially for folks who are grown adults. Like if you know you're buying your teenager their first car, obviously got a cosign alone in that case. But like for folks who are really in a, in a place where they should have their financial situation together, I think co signing a loan for someone who doesn't already have the credit score in place is, is a difficult situation and so I avoid that at all. Cost costs in most situations depending on that. And I think in this situation, you know, the uncle not going with a vehicle that is costs way less. I mean the truck that he bought is like a hundred thousand dollar truck. I looked it up and it is one that I think, you know, for most people out there, you know, just get a used truck, especially if it's a work truck, you can beat it up. Get a, you know, old used truck with 100,000 miles on it. As long as it's working condition, that's really what you need. And so really every single person in this situation is just tough. And then the way that, that the, the sun responded I think is just not the way to, to handle that situation. Even though you know they made mistakes, you told them they responded negatively to you, it doesn't mean you need to respond negatively back to them. I mean not helping them, I think you're in your full right to not help them. But the way that he responded I think is just not the best. The best. Especially to your own mother.

[Paula Pant]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I agree the son should not be giving any handouts, like don't give him any money. But you could at least have some compassion in the way that you talk.

[Host]

100 and I think that's overall the best practice especially in these types of situations. So for anybody out there listening, I would not co sign on any loans for anyone. That's just not the way that I would roll with it. But you know, be a little more compassionate to people who are in these situations. My boyfriend, 28, male, has been collecting rent for a free house. Okay. So I've been living with my boyfriend for a year. I'm a graduate student so I have very minimal income and I'm very upset about this. But my boyfriend says he was trying to do something nice. My boyfriend and I moved in together to a house that he found. He arranged all the landlord stuff and told me to send $1,000 a month to the landlord's bank account. And this is very normal rent in our area. But I could have probably spent less if I lived in an apartment. I have been doing so for the last year, only to find out yesterday from his mom that his parents actually own the house and they aren't charging us rent. Upon hearing this, I asked my boyfriend about the 13k that he has had me send to some account, and he told me that he was doing it to give back to me as a gift later on to see how much I could save. I am livid. I'm not irresponsible with money. I have no debt and even have some savings. And over the last year, there have been things I've had to miss out on because they weren't financially feasible without this money. Now, there have been times where I couldn't get my tires replaced on my car. And it has always made me feel so bad that he could live just fine on this salary, which is not that much higher than mine, but I couldn't live well on mine. Now I know it's because he was spending $1,000 less than I was every single month. I don't know what to do. I feel upset and uncomfortable about the whole situation, but my boyfriend won't listen to me. He keeps saying it was supposed to be a surprise gift and I'm taking it the wrong way. I don't know what to think. Am I overreacting?

[Paula Pant]

You are underreacting. You are under. I mean, a wholly patronizing right to lie to somebody, basically steal their money and then when you get caught, position it like a gift, right. And gaslight them into thinking, oh, I did it for you. I mean, okay, best case scenario, he did it for her and is. And that is patronizing. So patron. That's not a partner. That's a parent, child relationship. That's the best case scenario. Worst case scenario, he was actually planning on stealing from her and got caught.

[Host]

Right. Honestly, if I had to, like, just if I was a, you know, get a bet on this situation, I would say for sure he was stealing the money and then got caught and then acted like he was saving it to give it to her. Because why on. Why on earth would you ever do this for somebody? Like, it doesn't even make any sense whatsoever. Let her, you know, save her own money if she wants to or whatever else. I mean, this is just a crazy scenario that I think is honestly just one of those situations where she says she doesn't know what to do. I think you got to break up with them is what you got to do. That's kind of what you have to do right now.

[Paula Pant]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[Host]

It's one of those areas where I think if this is happening to you, there are red flags all over the place. But someone who is trying to parent you in a relationship, that is. It's only going to get worse as time goes on, especially if you decide to marry that person or take things further.

[Paula Pant]

Yeah. And I will say so. I'm like, my question to her is, did, I mean, did you sign a lease? Right. Because, like, if. If it's the case that she didn't sign a lease, you know, she didn't interact, like, because she says he set up everything related to moving in, that also means that she is not adequately, you know, taking the precautions to protect herself.

[Host]

Right, right.

[Paula Pant]

She should be reviewing the lease. She should be reading it carefully. She should be signing it. She should know who her property management is. Like, otherwise, if you're trusting that to someone else, you're putting yourself in a position where you could be financially abused. And right now, you know, it's only $13,000, but, like, imagine in the future if it's, you know, financial abuse can happen in a marriage to the tune of hundreds of thousands.

[Host]

Exactly. And that's a great point, because I think for most people, you know, if you rent a place, you need to understand all the dynamics of the lease. You need to understand, you know, who owns the property. Is there a property manager? Is it just a landlord there? You know, how much do you have in a security deposit? All those. You need to understand all the dynamics of your lease because it's a legal, binding document. And if you're living there, you know, there is a lot of things that could happen to you negatively, you know, financial and. Or legally, that you're living in a property and you're not supposed to be in there. So you definitely need to understand all of those different areas. For sure.

[Paula Pant]

Yeah.

[Host]

Awesome. So that is our last one for today. Paula, thank you so much for being here. And can you tell us more where people can find more about you and your podcast and everything else?

[Paula Pant]

Yes. So I host the Afford Anything podcast. The idea is you can afford anything, not everything. So it's all about spending money and investing money in a way that fits you, fits who you are. You can find it on any major podcast player, Apple Podcast, Spotify, here on YouTube. YouTube.com afford anything. You can find it anywhere and everywhere.

[Host]

Awesome. Well, we will link up everything and all of Paula's links down below. I highly, highly recommend her podcast. And each of you, go ahead and check that out. And thank you again so much, Paula, for being here.

[Paula Pant]

Thank you.

[Host]

Awesome.