← The Sebastian Maniscalco Show
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- [00:03]
A
This is the Pete and Sebastian show with Pete Corieli and Sebastian Maniscalco. Pete and Sebastian Show. Welcome in to another episode where Pete and I dissect life's absurdities and how upset we are with the way things are being run throughout the world. It's really kind of the crux of this show. I haven't talked to you in about two weeks. You have started your tour. We have texted back and forth, but nothing really substantial. Let me give you an update on just where I'm at mentally and physically. I'm sleeping great. I know this is a big topic once you get into your 50s. I don't know if you and your wife discuss this. How'd you sleep last night? Is that a question that generally permeates throughout the Corioli house?
- [01:21]
B
I can't say every morning, but definitely, if you had a good night's sleep, you may make an announcement. Slept great. Yeah, it comes up. It comes up. I mean, how about you guys? Do you normally bring it up?
- [01:33]
A
Well, it's just the topic of conversation because my sleep is always thrown off due to jet lag or traveling somewhere, so can never really get a hold of it. But little tip that I started. And plus, I monitor my sleep with this ring, so I tend to get into it a little bit more. More than maybe your average person. But I gotta tell you, by the way, I just gotta tell you. Just let me tell the group. It's one of those mornings where I feel like the brain is on.
- [02:02]
B
Hey, that's great to hear because I'm. I'm feeling wonderful, too. I can't say I'm feeling sharp, but I'm in a great mood. So I was hoping you weren't gonna come in here all not well, in.
- [02:15]
A
A great mood, my man.
- [02:19]
B
But, well, you seem like you're in a great mood when you're sure. Usually in a good mood.
- [02:22]
A
Well, don't matter. Sometimes the bad mood's a better show. The goodness. Well, some sometimes. Doesn't bring out the comedy. You know, it's like, oh, what, are we gonna sit here and talk about how fucking wonderful we feel? Not funny. I'm not.
- [02:33]
B
I'm not saying like that. I'm just saying, like, I'm popping. I'm ready to go to just go. I'm with you. I'm excited. I'm wearing white.
- [02:40]
A
Guy.
- [02:40]
B
I'm wearing white with.
- [02:41]
A
I know. It's a little. It's a little. I mean, that's kind of. That's kind of video 101, isn't it that we don't wear white on the camera?
- [02:49]
B
White? I thought we'd go. Nice. Listen, Rag and Bone, baby. Sponsor Rag and Bone. Yeah, go ahead. What do we got? I'm glad you're sharp. What's up? That's because you're home. You're off the road, bro. You're getting back into your life.
- [03:03]
A
No, not necessarily. I was. I was in Oklahoma last week, so it's not that I'm off the road.
- [03:09]
B
But I don't know.
- [03:10]
A
Yeah, the sleep. Let me get back into the sleep. I have put away my phone after 7pm in another room where it's not really accessible. So what this has done for me over the last two weeks is a few things. Number one, it's made me more present as a husband and father. Right. So there's no like referring back to a text message, looking at an Instagram post or any of that. That at night. So me and my kids are locked in. Me and Lana are locked in. Although she hasn't put in her. She hasn't put her phone away, so she's still picking it up. And this, that and the other. You ever do something that you hope your wife kind of. Oh, that's interesting. Why don't I. I feel like if her friend put her phone in another room, she would do it. Because now that I'm doing it, it's anti.
- [04:10]
B
Right. Well, don't you think maybe if it's like. Cause mom's just gotta like. That's a whole different level of communication. That's like a. That's like shutting down a tower at an airport. You know, you can't. They just got so many moms getting ahold of them about this and that. That's how I feel. But it's good that you're. If one person's off, that's all you need. Cause you can hover over her and just get in there with conversation in between the shit. No, not really.
- [04:38]
A
No. No, no. It's either all or none. But for me it's working on many levels. And number two, you hear about this blue light. You can't. About an hour and a half before bed, you shut the phone off. Because the blue light affects your sleep. It tricks your eyes into thinking it's daylight, the whole thing. So that has really, really done wonders to my sleep pattern. Just putting it away. Yeah, go ahead.
- [05:07]
B
It's unbelievable. But like, how are you handling moments? Like when something comes up after seven o', clock, hypothetically, Teddy Roosevelt. And you're like, wait, what Number president. Was he like, what do you do right there? You just let it fade. You let it fade and go. I guess I won't know.
- [05:25]
A
We wonder.
- [05:27]
B
Oh, wow, that's so 1970s, bro. I need an answer. I need an answer. That's great.
- [05:33]
A
Nothing is that pressing after 7pm at night where you need to reference your phone for anything. If it's, you know, they could wait till the morning. Nothing's happening. Business wise after seven o'.
- [05:47]
B
Clock. What made you do this? What made you finally do this? Did you see something? Did someone tell you? Or just in your head you're like, I'm doing this.
- [05:53]
A
So one of these things that popped into my head. You know what? Let me just get rid of the phone after 7 o' clock. Because I wanted to. It originated because of the sleep. Because I keep hearing about looking at the phone before you go to sleep disrupts your sleep. So that's what started it. And then the byproduct of it was, oh, wow. I'm more present with my family, whether it be me and Caruso throwing the football or whatever. I mean, sometimes you pick up the phone to do a video of your son throwing the football. I mean, that's. Forget it. It's just. It's now. It's just a memory. It's just a memory now.
- [06:32]
B
Right, Right.
- [06:34]
A
So the sleep is. Oh, and no drinking. Two weeks, no alcohol.
- [06:42]
B
Here we go with the drinking. Here we go with that one again.
- [06:45]
A
They like my fucking parents with this shit. You know, anything good, Anything I tell them good in my life, they shit on. Right. So I got a massage last night. For what? And it was such a.
- [07:01]
B
Okay, you won for two. I love the sleep thing. I love how the 7 o' clock seems like a great time to do it. But every time you go a couple weeks without drinking, you act like you got your first chip. You just gotta have a church basement.
- [07:14]
A
Great.
- [07:14]
B
You're not drinking for a couple weeks. You're cleaning out the system. Don't you know?
- [07:18]
A
I mean, that's. I'm just saying it's good for my sleep. That's a word.
- [07:24]
B
Oh, for your sleep. Oh, okay.
- [07:26]
A
Yeah. So you know, you drink at night disrupts your sleep. And at this age, I need all the energy I could possibly get coming out of bed. Right, right. And it's sad to say at this age I got a bedtime. I'm like an infant.
- [07:53]
B
That's what you're gonna. Your body thrives on routine, bro. It thrives on that. You know? And I know when you Go on the road. That's a different kind of routine you gotta get into. But what time is it? Please tell me it's got a one and a one.
- [08:06]
A
Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm in bed by 9 o'.
- [08:11]
B
Clock. 9 o'. Clock. So do your kids lock up? What the fuck? I mean, this is unheard of to have two children in elementary school and mom and dad are kissing them good night. Go. Don't forget to turn out the lights when you go to bed.
- [08:34]
A
They tuck us in.
- [08:36]
B
Oh, God. I'm telling you, man, it's terrible.
- [08:39]
A
It's terrible.
- [08:39]
B
Nine o', clock, you go to bed at the same time as the kids. The whole family's going down at the same time?
- [08:44]
A
Yeah, basically they're in bed and then, you know, they get. And normally when a kid gets up out of bed, they go find their parents watching TV or whatever. No, they come in our room pitch black and they gotta like, daddy, could you put my air conditioning on a little? I'm kind of hot in the room. Let me get out of bed.
- [09:02]
B
I don't know, I mean, I think you. I think even every child likes to think that the parents are up at least another half hour. Can you at least stay up till I'm asleep? I like to think that you'll like on watch, like in Nam, you know? Jesus. I mean, I need one thing and you're already sound asleep in the dark. Jesus, that's aggressive. Makes me think I was keeping you up, you know, Say so. I bet you do. I hit this age too, where you come down to the kitchen and you announce to Lana what a good call it was that you guys went to bed at 9 because you feel great.
- [09:46]
A
It's the little things at this age that really matter, you know, we're not celebrating much over here. I mean, we're celebrating getting to bed at a reasonable hour.
- [09:56]
B
That's it.
- [09:56]
A
And last night? Yeah, I went out last night. I went to a dinner party last night, which is another story. And I was upset that I was there past my bedtime. Oh, yeah, I got home last night at 9:30, so I was like rushing to get to sleep because I knew I had the podcast. I had to wake up in the morning and get my engine running, so.
- [10:24]
B
Right. No, it's respecting. You're respecting the routine, man. It's very classic Stern, you know, when he would talk back in the day about having to be down at a certain hour now, you know again too. Lana's got a few. You got a few years online. So, like I'm surprised that 9 o' clock isn't a little on the early side for her. It's like a sacrifice.
- [10:44]
A
She ain't going to sleep. She's in bed. She's not sleeping. No, she's on the phone.
- [10:54]
B
Listen, you'll call, though. I just want to add, like just the other day that in the middle of the night, I don't know what time it was. So I kind of roll over, look at my.
- [11:03]
A
The time.
- [11:03]
B
And then there's a thing saying there was a car crash or something and I'm like, I'm like. So I'm like, six people die. Like that's poison. That can't be good for you, right? I mean, just rolling over to find out people died and like, it's poison, bro. Good view.
- [11:21]
A
No, it's poison. Like, like you get all hopped up sometimes before you go to bed looking at the phone, whether it be you saw something, whatever, tragic, a news headline, a political view, someone ranting and raving about how you should raise your kid. You know, whatever that is. That's just all stimulation to the brain. And I don't want to be thinking about what Trump said at 9:30 at night when I'm about to put my head on the bed. I don't need to hear that.
- [11:51]
B
Exactly. Exactly. And every time something takes that up as a bit or a joke. That ain't getting in. It ain't getting in because.
- [11:59]
A
Yeah.
- [11:59]
B
Is that ad.
- [12:01]
A
Oh, man. That's where I am with the sleep. Everything's running top notch over here. Now I want to talk about something. And you brought. It was a text message that I sent you yesterday. It was a video of the landscape. That's so funny. The landscapers. Right.
- [12:21]
B
I had to share that with Sadie. That's how funny that was.
- [12:24]
A
So what I shared with Pete was there's two landscapers. I was, I was in the. I was working out and I happened to glance over and see one landscaper watering the lawn with another landscaper watching the guy water the lawn. And my comment was similar to, I, you know, I don't know how hard it is to water the lawn. You need to get trained on this or whatnot. But they weren't watering it. There was a chemical involved in the watering, so I'll give them that.
- [13:03]
B
But he was saying, apparently, apparently you need a water watcher as well as a water. That's what you're saying. So there's the water watcher. And then in the video, the guy who's watering walked. And then like on Cue, like an SNL sketch. The guy starts following, and you go up there, he goes, here come the water. Watch yourselves. You were commentating on. It was very funny. I don't know if you shared it on your stuff.
- [13:29]
A
No, I did not share it on my stuff because that might be misconstrued as, oh, I'm making fun of the landscape. I don't even know. Can you believe.
- [13:38]
B
Can you picture Sinatra saying to Dean Martin, did you post that thing yesterday we were talking about?
- [13:44]
A
Oh, yeah, it's terrible. Terrible.
- [13:48]
B
Jesus. Sorry. Anyway, I apologize. Just take it anymore.
- [13:53]
A
This is the, the reason I bring this up and you touched on it in the text is now that I'm home a lot, I can't turn it off. Like, I start looking at, like, what. What's happening around the house, right? Who's. Who's here? Who's fixing something? How come that person does this? How come. What's going on? How come the kitchen ain't fucking remodeled? What's going on here? Right.
- [14:21]
B
Yeah.
- [14:22]
A
Which is another whole story. I, I, it's like, I can't, I can't bring half of this stuff up because if anybody were to hear this, they'd quit. Yeah, right, Right. I had this happen with the, with the, with the, the country club. They heard the podcast and they, they pulled my application. It's like, I can't even talk about the things I want to talk about because the people would listen and go, what the fuck did he say about my fucking. Take the scaffolding down. We're leaving the house.
- [15:05]
B
You said. You know what? You're saying it all without saying it.
- [15:08]
A
I'm.
- [15:08]
B
I mean, like, you know, it's. First of all, it's impossible. You can't be living where work is being done because you're seeing too much, bro. You're seeing how to saus is made. You can't be there. That's the, that's number one. And number two, even with the water watcher, you know, we've all had jobs where you're explaining how to do something. So you, Your mind always goes to, why are two people doing one job? Instead of your mind going, hey, showing them how to do it to make life easy for, like, just let it go. Shake. You need to hire one person that does all that for you, that you trust, that reports back to you. You guys have a glass of wine at night and you go, tell me everything, Vito.
- [15:54]
A
That's the way it is set up here. However, when I am living in my house and there's landscapers here. And some of you might say, listening to this go, oh, you should water your own lawn, or you should cut your own grass or this, or you should trim your own. But listen, by the time I would do that, this is like a full time job over here to maintain. Maintain the outside. So, I mean, I would love to go and do that, but it's not realistic. Let's be realistic about it. There's a guy that's doing it. That there's whatever was wrong with the lawn. I mean, listen, growing up, did we have a. Do we have a landscaping crew? No, I was it. I was the guy.
- [16:37]
B
And. Yeah, well, your lawn was. The size of it is now. And totally different thing, bro.
- [16:43]
A
Yeah, no, once Caruso gets to the age where he could start maybe mowing lawn, I'll get him out there. But right now these guys are doing it and they're robbing me.
- [16:54]
B
That I do want to see a video of the only kid mowing his lawn in Beverly Hills out there with a Toro in the driveway, flooding the engine just to teach him a lesson. Right?
- [17:06]
A
That's right. Hey, listen, I learned a lot putting on a lawnmower growing up.
- [17:12]
B
I. Dude, I hear you, man. I'm just saying it's like, this is a big lawn, even for a kid.
- [17:17]
A
I know, but how excited though, are you when you're on the. You know, you got that foot on the. On the lawnmower, right? And you give it a pull, right? Nothing. Just you see the fan spinning. Motherfucker. Okay, again, nothing. And then the third time, that thing clicks in and it comes on. God, the feeling of putting on a lawnmower and getting it to go is just tremendous.
- [17:42]
B
It is, but you're forgetting the one that gives you hope.
- [17:45]
A
The third one is a.
- [17:49]
B
And it goes out. But you know, it wants to like, you know when it almost kicks on and. Oh, you get it. It is, bro. I love it. Till I hear you. It's always varieties, too. What do you do if you're a lefty? How do you do it?
- [18:03]
A
I never even thought of that. I never even thought of that. Yeah, the lawnmower definitely is made. Made for a right handed person. But there was also a thing. I don't know if they still have it on the lawnmower. Growing up, they had like a little rubber. Like a little rubber knob that you press. And that was supposed to do something. I never knew what that was supposed to do. Like, it didn't start, but then my dad go press the rubber knot and I pressed the rubber Thing down. I don't know if that was supposed to release gas into the system or what the hell it was, but apparently that was supposed to work. But there was something about cutting the lawn that was very therapeutic growing up. And I have thought about this, of getting a riding lawn mower. Cause sometimes I'm looking for escapes in the house, you know, like, you ever. I'm like sitting there and, like, the dogs are barking the kids, and then Lana's asking me this, that, and the other day if I were to cut the lawn. Cause I feel like when you cut the lawn, you can't. No one's bothering you. The fucking thing is on. There's no, like, daddy, Daddy. You just go, where's daddy? He's cutting the lawn.
- [19:23]
B
He Right.
- [19:25]
A
He's off limits for about an hour.
- [19:29]
B
I agree. You know, I sometimes should tell you I do a lot of stuff around here. And we discussed on my old house that maybe I was doing it because I didn't want to sit down and write or whatever. But, like, I would. A lot of times things would come to me, and I think, like, you know, you don't want to sit behind the desk. You need to move around. I think mowing a lawn, you might really get a lot out of that. You know, just getting out there, letting your mind wander where it goes. And then you sit back and you're looking at something you accomplished. It's nice. I was excited years ago when you got that power washer I used for about a day, you know, so I.
- [20:02]
A
Brought that out the other day. Matter of fact, I washed the entire pool area.
- [20:08]
B
It's just a little weird, though, when, like, you're pulling it out and the people that do that, that work there are like, what's this? You know, it's like, it's like you got. It's like, you know, they'll do it. You know what I'm saying?
- [20:23]
A
It's like they'll do it for a charge.
- [20:26]
B
So when you do. When you. When you mow your lawn, those. That mean your bill, your landscape bill is going to come down a little bit.
- [20:33]
A
Should. What I want to do is buy this riding lawnmower and beyond it, cutting the lawn when the landscapers arrive. And. And just to see that, like, what the is this?
- [20:49]
B
What's he doing? That's exactly. That's what I would think if I was the boss of all the landscapes. I'm like, oh, God, what the fuck is it? Now I gotta go over the bill with this guy. He's gonna throw this Shit. Well, the bed was a boss.
- [21:04]
A
What do we do?
- [21:05]
B
I go, we're gonna trim the bushes twice as slow. That's what we're gonna do. Oh, man. Oh, God. That is too funny, man.
- [21:16]
A
Yeah, so, yeah, I'm seeing too much. And you're right. Maybe I just gotta like, block it out, head down and just. It's almost like when you hire people to do stuff. Just like when you open up a business, you gotta factor in a butt in the budget for loss and theft. You know, like when a business opens up, they. They put in like a. Like, look this up. When a business opens up, they factor in a percentage for like breakage and theft, Right. Just because it's inevitable that people are going to steal.
- [21:57]
B
Right? Like even office supplies, right? You work in an office, you're gonna take home a stapler. Fuck it.
- [22:03]
A
Yeah, but that's built into the. To the budget. It's almost like a line item. When they're figuring out their budget for the rest of the year, they're gonna go, okay, shit. Yeah, that's what I got. Six percent is gonna go to, you know, loss. And here it is. Here it is.
- [22:17]
B
Scumbags we are. They literally got a fact.
- [22:20]
A
Yeah, breakage, theft and shrinkage requires a. Calculate the shrinkage rate. Yeah, it's called shrinkage. This budget must be included in cost of your goods sold. So they factor that in. It doesn't give a percentage. But anyway, that's what I think. I just have to go in to. Just head down. Don't look at anything. Howdy, partner. Next time you get chicken at McDonald's, you won't have to choose between the creamy flavors of ranch and the tangy kick of buffalo any longer. This time, enjoy all the flavors you love all at once. Try new creamy and tangy buffalo ranch sauce. And participate in McDonald's for a limited time.
- [22:55]
B
You do, bro. Think of this. Think of Four Seasons espresso spoons. I got them upstairs. I use them every time I make my espresso. Got them from a couple of seasons here and there along the way.
- [23:08]
A
Is that why I got charged for this one?
- [23:13]
B
No, seriously, the coffee shop? No, no, not in the room. They wouldn't know.
- [23:18]
A
No, Lindsey called me. She's like, there's some silverware charge here on the bill. Did you take any silverware?
- [23:25]
B
Oh, God, no, no, no.
- [23:27]
A
Oh, I'm kidding.
- [23:28]
B
Yeah, yeah. I was gonna say that would make no sense. I mean, I didn't take it out of the thing, but I'm saying, like, when in the coffee Shop. But they factor that in. I figured they must.
- [23:37]
A
You're stealing. So it's a souvenir.
- [23:41]
B
It's a souvenir. It's a souvenir.
- [23:45]
A
That's why, that's why the room rate is 30% more than it used to be because people are fucking putting plates in their bag.
- [23:53]
B
You just said they factored that in and now you're throwing me under the bus, man. I mean, I can't win here.
- [23:58]
A
I know.
- [23:59]
B
Well, I'm just, I'm good. Well, listen, I know, I know, but like, so what do you. I don't think. You don't think they're like taking gas on your bill and filling up them always for the next job and nothing like that?
- [24:10]
A
Right.
- [24:10]
B
You just feel like they're not working efficiently enough because they're always working. When I've been there.
- [24:15]
A
No, I guess efficiency. Listen, and again, this is also a Chicago thing because my friends were over, this was two years ago, I think they came and visited from Chicago and they were clocking the workers around the house and they were going, this guy's robbing you. Look at the way he's moving. In Chicago, there's an expectation about when you hire somebody, the rate of movement and efficiency, that people are getting the work done. And if you're lollygagging through the job, right, right. Then you're gonna get called out on it. So I mean, in Chicago, the expectation is like, when you're working labor, you're sweating, right? That's how hard you're working. There's like, you know, I was unlocking, bro. I used to work at UPS in the trucks, right? I used to unload boxes at midnight to 7 o'clock in the morning in the truck, right? And I had a guy coming with a, with a pad counting the boxes and I wasn't going fast enough. He goes, you're going to be done with this truck by 3 o' clock in the morning. Like, granted, if you ever work ups, this is, this is no joke. There's a reason you get your package on time with ups, the way they run their, their program over there, they're like, I'm like, yeah. And I'm covered in dust. I'm blowing black out of my nose.
- [25:47]
B
What, what were you doing for UPS.
- [25:49]
A
In the summer, huh? This is, this is summer. This is summer work. I was going to school. I was going to, I think it was in high school. I was in high school at the time, looking for a summer job. And to get in at UPS is extremely difficult. As a 17 year old kid. Right. But we knew somebody in the neighborhood that worked at ups, stuck his neck out for me and got me a job unloading semis of boxes. All right.
- [26:23]
B
Wow. Yeah.
- [26:26]
A
Midnight to eight, that was the shift. And I'm thinking, yeah, no, I could, I could do this, you know, like, I'm young. I could adjust my sleep schedule. The pay was outstanding. I think the pay was 12 bucks an hour. And this is back in 1989. So that was like, that was a lot of money back then, right?
- [26:49]
B
Hell yeah. You're just gonna go straight from there to school.
- [26:55]
A
No, this was summer. There was no summer.
- [26:58]
B
Oh, summer job. Okay. Summer job.
- [27:00]
A
So they would open up the truck, the heat that would come out of this thing, because this is the summer full of boxes, right? God knows where this thing's coming from. They would open a day and the heat would hit you like, like, like an oven. Like you opened up an oven door. It was 500 degrees, right? And they're like, get in. I'm like, get in where you can't get in, you know? And in the truck is a conveyor belt, but it's not motorized. It's rollers.
- [27:35]
B
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [27:37]
A
So what you would do is you would roll, you know, start rolling the boxes. There's another. There was another conveyor belt that hooked up to the one that brought the boxes out. And you would just all day long pick up a box, put it on and roll.
- [27:52]
B
All night long. Oh, yeah.
- [27:53]
A
All night long. Just all night long. And they say some is a small box. I remember getting a lot of these are large boxes. You could take it and put in there and then you would get a small box. You're like, oh, thank God. Like for that one moment when you have to handle like a, like a watch or whatever and you threw it down. It was like, oh, thank God. But then right after that, there was like a bicycle. So.
- [28:19]
B
Was there ever anything. A lot of like, Jesus, how many people are buying this thing? The guy with the silk, a bullet blend that must be cleaning up like anything like that that stuck out.
- [28:29]
A
Yeah, I mean, there would be no. I can't recall any specific item, but there would be like eight, nine in a row boxes that were the same product that I would actually ask myself, gee, what the hell is this guy doing? But you really didn't have any time to think because you were being timed on how you had to get. I think it was three semis a night you had to get done. And if you didn't get it done. You were gone. That was it. They fired you. You just roll it.
- [28:59]
B
Or when it gets to the end of the roll is. You guys got to restack it over there or something.
- [29:02]
A
There's another. There's another guy receiving it now. That's. That's a. That's a position that's better than what I have. I got the entry level job or I'm in the semi. The next step up is you're outside the semi receiving this and putting them in the bin that they're supposed to go in, right? So after a week, this is after two weeks, I'm coming home. I'm blowing literally black dust out of my nose.
- [29:33]
B
Why isn't it just boxes?
- [29:34]
A
Yeah, but there's like a dust. There's like a. There's. There's whatever it is in the, in the, in the semi and the boxes. I had black sun up my nose, so I would blow literally black dust out of my. And I. I told my parents, I go, I can't do this. My back is good. I had to wear a weight belt to work.
- [30:03]
B
Were you wearing gloves, too? So when they open up, open up the fucking truck. You got your weight belt on and your gloves like Vinnie boom bots ready to fucking lift shit at midnight. Oh, my God. This must have been getting in the way of the dancing schedule too, right? At the club.
- [30:25]
A
This is getting away of my entire life.
- [30:31]
B
I can't even imagine the guys you were hanging with too, that were doing this job.
- [30:35]
A
This is another. Was it like a subset? This, this was like real men, right? They were looking at me like, you know, I had cologne on in this thing, right?
- [30:55]
B
Oh, my God.
- [30:57]
A
So Jesus, after two weeks, it is. I had. I had a sit down with my parents and I go, I can't. I can't do this. This is. I can't.
- [31:05]
B
This is.
- [31:05]
A
I'm. That the hours are. I can't adjust to the hours. And more importantly, I couldn't. My body was. Even though I was 17 years old, it was like taking a beating, bro. Exhausted, right? And this taught me a lesson. I quit the job after two weeks, and the guy that stuck his neck out for me was livid.
- [31:38]
B
My bad, man.
- [31:40]
A
Rightfully so. Rightfully so. And I was like, man, that was the wrong thing to do. You know, somebody stuck their neck out for me, got me an opportunity, and two weeks into this thing, I quit. And should I have stuck it out for the summer? Yeah, probably. But at the time, I was like, there's no way I'm gonna Be able to survive doing this. But I should have stuck it out. And he was upset at me and his name. I don't even should give his name out.
- [32:15]
B
Well, you owe him an apology. You wanna give him a public apology? Might be a good time.
- [32:19]
A
Get it off your chest, mister.
- [32:23]
B
Oh, mister. It wasn't even like a dude who was close to your age. It was a grown man, like a.
- [32:29]
A
He was the parent of one of the girls I knew in the neighborhood.
- [32:35]
B
Wow, you let the neighbor down. That's heavy, bro.
- [32:40]
A
So, mister, if you are out there, I apologize. That was a young 17 year old dumb mistake, I think my parents even told me, you shouldn't quit, but it's your decision. And I made the wrong decision. The Pete and Sebastian show made the wrong decision. But ups, no joke, is a ball buster when it comes to work. So.
- [33:14]
B
Yeah, no, I know that feeling though. My neighbor, Mr. Riccardelli got me a job at a masonry. And it's a different level when a parent. A neighbor who's a parent gets you a job, puts their neck out. As opposed to, we've all had a buddy go, hey, yeah, I work in a factory. I can get you a job with me on the. You know, that's like, whatever, I'll quit that with my buddy.
- [33:39]
A
But when.
- [33:39]
B
When you put a Mr. In front of it. Now the one thing that I have to say, though, bro, you can't get back those high school summit summer years. You can't get them back. So you did what you had to do, bro. Those are invaluable.
- [33:52]
A
I think I got laid that summer.
- [33:55]
B
Take back the apology. Can we edit that? Wow, bro, that's huge. When that went down, must have made. You know, dude, if you didn't quit the moment you were getting laid, you would have been rolling a bike down a goddamn conveyor belt. Wow.
- [34:17]
A
Do they still say that, by the way? Like the kids nowadays, like when they hook up. Is laid still a wor.
- [34:26]
B
Dropping the F word?
- [34:27]
A
Yeah, I know, but like, I feel like laid is an outdated reference to having sex. Like, I got laid last night is people still saying it.
- [34:39]
B
It's only outdated because they don't get laid. Swear to God, nobody. They fuck so infrequently, they don't even have terms for it. They don't. They just like on the phone, different time. Sadie, it's funny, you know, she's swimming and now she's doing the pack thing or whatever. And a boy, she's telling me I'm doing laps. Then boy keeps grabbing my ankle you know, when I pass him, I keep telling him, stop. And I go, is that how you're doing? He going, stop. And she goes, no, I'm going, stop. And I'm like, well, you know, he likes you.
- [35:23]
A
He doesn't know what to do.
- [35:24]
B
He doesn't know. He doesn't know how to handle it. So you combine. Just fucking grabs your ankles. And she's like, I know, but I don't want to do it anymore. I go, well, you know, if it's a problem, you just tell the coach I don't want him to do that anymore. I go, but, you know, it's like.
- [35:39]
A
Yeah, I can't believe what I'm hearing.
- [35:42]
B
What?
- [35:44]
A
Why aren't you at the pool?
- [35:48]
B
My. My daughter is almost as tall as me when she's 12 years old.
- [35:51]
A
I don't care. I don't care.
- [35:53]
B
This is it. Oh, you mean you want me to. I don't like the ice. I did say to her, you want me to come? And she's like, dad, no, I'm just saying. And I. I go.
- [36:04]
A
Just like.
- [36:05]
B
She goes, I know he does, but it's annoying. I go, is it annoying like when you like a boy and you say it's annoying or that. She's like, no, I don't want. I go, well, then just tell the coach and it won't happen again. But it's all part of it, man. Here we go. Here we go. Now I gotta start watching all this.
- [36:21]
A
Oh, ye. So I want to touch on something I saw on Instagram on your feed. Oh, boy. And I know. And I know the listeners love when Pete goes on the road solo by himself and goes through his trials and tribulations through airports and hotels. There was a priest on the plane sitting next to you, I believe. Was he sitting next to you or he was just on the plane?
- [36:56]
B
He was sitting next to me, but only briefly. I got the photo, though, because he was. Turns out he was, you know, like, say he was in 11B. We were in 10B. So he. So when the guy showed up, who goes, oh, I'm in 10B. And then they. So I thought the guy was gonna say, you want me just to take this one? But he didn't. He's like, that's my. They switched. I was like, damn. So I didn't get to sit with him the whole. I was so excited to. And when he got up, he was a young priest. And when he got up, I said, no offense, Father, but I was kind of hoping to sit next to you the Whole flight. And the guy next to me starts laughing on the other side, he goes, me, too. And the priest goes, well, I'll be right behind you. And then I said, I'll take what I can get. Father Walker. Walk. I walk.
- [37:45]
A
I want to ask you something about the priest.
- [37:48]
B
Yeah.
- [37:49]
A
Because when I saw that, I had a question in my head. If you're a priest.
- [37:54]
B
Yeah.
- [37:54]
A
Are you required to wear the collar and the priest outfit as you're going through your daily routine? So do you think the priest goes, I'm going to be flying today. Let me priest it up so I could possibly get some special treatment. Or what is the protocol? Because, like, when you're. I think when you're in the military and you are traveling from one place to another, I think you have to wear the fatigues. If this is like, you're going from Hawaii to Pakistan, you got to wear the fatigue if you're flying commercial.
- [38:44]
B
Right.
- [38:45]
A
I think that's a requirement that you wear the uniform. I'm wondering if, as a priest and you could look this up as a priest.
- [38:52]
B
Yeah.
- [38:52]
A
Do you have to be in uniform constantly?
- [38:56]
B
That's. I. Bro, that is a fantastic question. I don't know if you have to, but. And I could send that to Patrick, but he looked great. So, like, why wouldn't you. There we go.
- [39:10]
A
No, priests do not always have to wear the uniform, but they're often expected to wear specific clerical attire, like a Roman collar and suit when performing ministry or in public. Okay, so this. This brings up a great question. Like when a priest is not at church and he's wearing the outfit similar to a nun. Right. Like when a nun gets on the plane and she's all nunned out.
- [39:38]
B
Are.
- [39:38]
A
They going to put the hobbit on, put the whole thing together? Because we're going to be traveling and, you know, we want a little respect at the airport. I would.
- [39:50]
B
Yeah, you're a rock star if you're a priest or a nun at the airport. You know, I sent Patrick the thing so we can even show. Because what I even like about this priest is it was subtle, what he did it. Just like a little white black shirt. Like, he didn't make a grandstand about it. But I mean, if you're a priest and you're going to an airport, why wouldn't you want everyone to know? No one's going to be mad that you're there. They're going to. Hey, Father, why don't you go ahead? Like I would think.
- [40:22]
A
Yeah. Okay. Here we're going to Bring up the picture. And what is that? Is that like a white little collar around, like. I've always wondered what the hell is the white thing in between the collar? Or is that part of the shirt? What is that?
- [40:43]
B
Well, first of all, you were an altar boy. I'm surprised you don't know, to be honest.
- [40:48]
A
Well, I never saw the priest get dressed. I didn't know what the hell he was doing behind closed doors. You know, some kids might have, but, I mean, I didn't see. The.
- [40:59]
B
Second of all, my thing with that guy, though, is, like, if he's not Catholic, he could be, like, Baptist or something. I don't even know what's going on with that, right? So, like, do we all. Would a Mormon priest look like a Catholic priest, or do they got a whole different look? You know what I'm saying?
- [41:14]
A
I don't know. Here we got priest collars. A white band worn around the neck that serves as a visual symbol of the cleric's office. Not as functional piece of clothing. Works by being a detachable stiff white piece that is either inserted into the special clerical shirt or attached to a neck band shirt. So it's like a band that they wear around the neck. If I was a priest, I'd be living in the outfit. I feel like if you're a priest and you're in line at Starbucks and you're the ninth guy and you turn around and you go ahead of me, right?
- [41:56]
B
I mean, come on, man. He had the middle seat. I felt like he chose that as a priest. He was probably like, I'll have my flock around me, right? That's his whole thing. I mean, what a move. And he just sits down like that. Oh, God. When he sat next to me, I was like, home run. Even if this plane goes down all the way, row is going to fucking live.
- [42:18]
A
That's all I know. Well, here's another thing. Guy's got a middle seat. Did you feel at all obligated to go, father, please, come on, take my aisle seat? Or is the middle seat so bad that you wouldn't even allow a priest to take your seat? See, if you had an aisle and the priest in the middle, do you go, fuck that. I ain't giving this priest my seat.
- [42:46]
B
Nah, nah. What I was gonna do, though, if I had him long enough, I was just gonna let the father know, like, even if I put my. As you've seen my move, where I put my hat down, which I think bothers you, when I nap on a plane, nudge me, Father, at Any time, if you gotta take a leak, just nudge me. Don't. You know, you don't have to wait for me to roll over or anything, but. Yeah, unfortunately, I didn't have him, but. Yeah. I've often wondered what it would be like to dress like a priest just for a day, to go through the airport just to feel what they feel in a great way, you know?
- [43:20]
A
No, I think you should do an experiment the next time you get on an airplane and just, wow, just go.
- [43:25]
B
Is that legal? Can you do that legally?
- [43:27]
A
Well, I don't know. Is it. Is it like stolen valor? Like, like if. If you dress up in a fatigues and. And act like you're in the army or military, that's like stolen valor. That's not cool.
- [43:40]
B
Yeah.
- [43:40]
A
I don't even think. I don't know if that's legal or.
- [43:42]
B
Not, but as a priest, you know, obviously.
- [43:48]
A
But like, when the nut. When the nuns are all out.
- [43:50]
B
Right, right.
- [43:52]
A
And they're all dressed up, do you think one of the nuns is like, I don't want to wear the habit today. And the government.
- [44:01]
B
Where you at with the nun? I don't know where I'm at with the nun. Like, their powers. They don't have the same powers as a priest. Like, you know, I just feel like I'm a little.
- [44:10]
A
I feel like you never see a single nun. You always see them traveling in packs. You never see, like, oh, there's a nun. They're like two or three. They're never like, just a priest. I always feel like he's rogue. I don't see like three priests get on a plane, but I always see, like three nuns walking around.
- [44:32]
B
If you see one nun, usually they like, dear, if you're gonna see one, there's usually two or three. Yeah, I agree with, bro. I haven't seen a nun in a while. Like an al. Like an albino. I haven't seen him in a while either, man. It's funny when I think about.
- [44:47]
A
But do you think you see more albinos or more nuns? What do you think, man?
- [44:55]
B
That's a tough call. I don't know, bro. I mean, I can't remember the last time I seen a nun coming by. Any young nun. A young nun, that's like a unicorn. You don't see that?
- [45:06]
A
No, you don't see that? Well, I live in LA. There's not a nun within 60 miles of this place. I'll tell you that right now. Come on.
- [45:22]
B
Oh, God damn it. So, yeah, that's a tricky One. Anyway, so the. We just shot unbelievable shows.
- [45:30]
A
Unbelievable. We just got a little fact here. The albino population is far more significant than the none population.
- [45:42]
B
Really?
- [45:43]
A
So there's 1 in 18,000 to 20,000 people in the US that have some form of albinism. Do we have a nun? Oh, bro. Well, how many nuns do you think are in the United States here? How many nuns?
- [46:03]
B
Nuns? Oh, man, it's gotta be. If I had to put a handle on it, I'd say at least 100,000 nuns.
- [46:09]
A
42,000 nuns in the US the number has been in steep decline for decades and it's projected to continue falling. I mean, I would estimate by the time I'm 80 years old, nuns might be wiped off the earth. As far as, as far as.
- [46:26]
B
Yeah, I mean, maybe three. What do you get? Like, if I, if I was a woman, I said I'm thinking about being a nun and you're my guidance counselor. What am I getting for that? What's my salary? Where am I working? Can I, can I get. Can I have sex? What are we talking? All right, I don't know anything about that.
- [46:43]
A
Could a nun have a relationship with. Get married and what's the salary of a nun?
- [46:52]
B
Can a nun get breast implants? Can a nun smoke cigarettes? Like, like, you know, like a, like, you know what?
- [47:00]
A
Can a nun.
- [47:01]
B
Can a nun sleep with a priest? Double their power.
- [47:09]
A
Nun cannot be married after taking vows because she takes a vow of chastity. Okay, that's number one.
- [47:15]
B
All right, that's huge.
- [47:16]
A
All right, give me the salary on this. I need. Is, Is, is the. Oh. Any earnings from work are typically given to her religious community, which provides for her basic needs like housing, food and health care. So basically it's a zero. It's a zero salary. And you're, you're hoping to God your neighbor feeds you. I don't know. What the, what the. Communal living, personal spending. If a nun needs money for personal items such as shoes or for a holiday, she may receive a small allowance for that specific purpose. No wonder they're going to decline. The job pays. Give me some better. What the fuck? I'm walking around in a hobbit. I can't even go on vacation.
- [48:06]
B
Oh my God. The priest has to make an extra announcement at church when Sister Catherine wants shoes. Do you believe that really, with the.
- [48:16]
A
Money the Catholic Church has, they can't buy a non trip to Hawaii? Come on. And by the way, by the way, there was a comment, and this is going out to a listener, and I know you're listening, you know. Oh, there's a comment there. I said, that's why I put the phone away at 7pm oh, the way you talk about the Catholic Church and the Pope, you guys should be ashamed of yourselves. If you haven't noticed, this is the Pete and Sebastian show where it's comedy related and we poke fun at every walks of life here and everything to just lighten it up a little bit. So for this. This user who's listening to the show, I'll leave it at that.
- [49:02]
B
You already did perfect.
- [49:03]
A
I'll leave it at that.
- [49:04]
B
We're the only ones that talk about.
- [49:05]
A
The Pope lady who's doing none comedy. Nobody.
- [49:09]
B
Nobody. We're genuinely concerned because it's fallen off. It's a dying occup.
- [49:16]
A
Yeah.
- [49:16]
B
You know this. I don't see what your motivation is to get healthy as a nun and lose a few pounds. You can't.
- [49:22]
A
I never understood that.
- [49:23]
B
They actually had discussions about possibly letting priests, you know, make love to that or get laid. No, not to a nun, but maybe to a nun. But, like, they feel like that would help, like maybe, like, stop with the whole, you can't have sex.
- [49:39]
A
Listen, I've been. I've been saying this for years. Come on. Like, what? Come on, let's. I get it. I mean, like, some things you got to change. Like, everybody. Everything's changing. Right? Like.
- [49:50]
B
Right.
- [49:50]
A
Like in society, it's changing.
- [49:53]
B
This.
- [49:53]
A
This is change. But the.
- [49:55]
B
The.
- [49:55]
A
The. The church, you know, we're still sticking to the. Like, you're married to the church.
- [50:03]
B
Yeah.
- [50:03]
A
What the.
- [50:04]
B
Are you.
- [50:04]
A
Come on. What. What. What man is gonna do this? You gotta open it up, man.
- [50:13]
B
Right? I mean, especially, like, even if, when you thought you're gonna be a priest, you say, I'm doing it, and then you come out of missionary, whatever. And then like by about 30 years old, you look in the mirror and you're like, stunning. You're a stunning man. That's like, this is a crime to not share this with somebody. So. I mean. Yeah. And can you imagine a sermon on a Sunday morning by a man that, you know, got laid about an hour ago? Oh, my God. It would be good morning.
- [50:45]
A
It would just be popping. It would be. No wonder church is so freaking boring. The guy's got semen up to his neck.
- [50:53]
B
Oh, shit, bro. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Through the body of Christ right now.
- [50:57]
A
Holy.
- [50:58]
B
That was heavy. That was heavy. I could use a nun after that one.
- [51:07]
A
So. So. So you're tra. You're traveling, right? Did we did we have any. Did we pull a Pete anywhere along your travels as you're. As you're touring?
- [51:24]
B
No, I didn't pull a peep. But I had to, like. I had to. I had to, like, actually be charming because it's already happening, bro. It's already happening. I'm going to Ponte Verde. I'm flying to Jacksonville to play in Florida, right? Show's Friday, so I'm going to fly Thursday night out of Rochester. I get up to Southwest, I go to check in, and I notice my flight is now running late. And I said to the guy, I check in, I go, I'm not going to make my connecting flight in Baltimore, so should I even bother checking in right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to hold this. The Baltimore people, they're going to hold that flight. They're going to hold that flight because there's 11 of you on this plane. And you know how it is, bro. I'm like, oh, okay. But I go, it has to take off, right? When it says it's going to take off now. Oh, well, I get to. I go, is there any other option? Either that or we could put you on tomorrow morning, 6:30am flight. But don't worry about that. This one's going to catch the other one in Baltimore. Okay? I go through security. No sooner I get through security, I'm like, putting my, you know, bag back, my stuff back in my bag. Beep. I look at my phone. Flights canceled, delayed more. Now I'm going to definitely miss the flight, right? So I walk back over and I go to get online at Southwest. It's a Southwest flight, and the line is just so long, and I'm waiting on it. I'm looking at my phone and I'm like, man, I could have just 10 minutes ago, I could have avoided this. Now I'm on this long line. My phone beeps and says, flight's probably gonna get canceled. We can refund your money. Dude, when you're flying, you don't. That's not an option. I didn't just order a fucking sandwich. I need to get someplace right when the flight just goes. We could give you a money back. My money back. Shit. So this is a move for all you people out there. While I'm online, waiting to get to my turn to talk to the guy at the ticket counter, I call Southwest and I get through to them. So I literally figure it out before I get up to the. To the front, but I get a lady and I'm telling them my situation. And I said, yeah. She goes, well, I can't get you on that 6:30am flight tomorrow. It's already filled. And I'm like, Geez, miss, I would literally asked about it 10 minutes ago. So one thing led to another, and I'm like, what about Buffalo? Can I do anything out of Buffalo? And she's like, well, your ticket. I'm not supposed to. And I was like, oh, I wish there was something you could. And then I charmed her. And she's like, her name was Valerie. I still remember it. Let me see what I can do, sweetie. Oh, here we go. So the new route I'm going, I'm trying to be patient and charming and see if I get further with that than just blowing steam, right? So one thing leads to another. She gets me on a 6am in a Buffalo, so I got to drop 115 bucks on an Uber to get to Buffalo. But I get the buffer, so. But like, bro, this is the part of touring I don't like, man. You know what I'm saying? So I should have been there yesterday then. I'm a day late. I'm. My sleep is messed up now. I'm kind of groggy. Before shows were great, but just, you know, I can't. It's just like so much stress to other. I hate that.
- [54:45]
A
I know there's a lot of moving parts to get you somewhere. And now especially too, you know, you're flying out of these airports that are not kind of main hubs, so you're gonna have to be kind of diligent, like when you go and when you book your tickets, because these connecting things screw everybody up. You know, once you gotta connect, there's a lot of things that could go wrong, right? That's two plays you gotta worry about. Other than one. Yeah.
- [55:12]
B
There was a guy, we had a connecting flight, and he went in the bathroom. This is to come home. And he went in the bathroom. He's right by me. He's a little suspect to begin with. I'm not going to say anything else, but he just had a look to him, and he goes in the bathroom. And he's in there for a long time. And the lady flight attendant comes over. She's like, is someone sitting here? And the guy behind me goes, yeah, he's in the bathroom. He's been in there a long time. The guy goes, yep, he has. Because we got to take off soon if he's not out. And she goes, I'm gonna go up front. I'll be back in A minute she goes up front, and now I'm like, guy, I don't know what the fuck you're doing in there. I just wanted to go up to him, be like, get the fuck out. Even if you're dying, just bleed out in your fucking seat. Get in your seat. You know what I mean? Like. Like, I just. And I'm like. And I was like, is he having a panic attack back there or something? Like. And it's just amazing how one person can just fuck up your entire plans. It's amazing, right? It's amazing. You can. You got someone on a plane who's trying to get home to talk to their father before they die, and you're in there, be a puking because you're on drugs or some shit. And now I don't get to say goodbye to my father. It's like, you know, I'm saying, man, I hate that. I hate that about flying. That's why I drive anywhere I can. So towards. The shows have been great, dude, the cast fans are out there in droves, man. They really appreciate everything we do, and we appreciate them listening, man. It's been fun.
- [56:42]
A
There you have it. Pete is on tour. Make sure to check him out.
- [56:45]
B
Thank you.
- [56:46]
A
By the way, I wanted. I was on the Bobby Lee podcast recently, Tiger Belly, which we'll get into next week, I want to talk about, because we've had Bobby Lee on the show.
- [56:58]
B
I'd love to hear about that.
- [56:59]
A
And yeah, many more things to talk about next week, but we appreciate.
- [57:03]
B
I want to share one thing with you before you leave. Were you familiar with this? You know, was it. Shoot, when you. I'm eluding me right now.
- [57:16]
A
What happened?
- [57:17]
B
No, anti Semitic, right? When you don't like Jewish people, right? Yeah. So I was having a conversation with Cans about. Do you never hear that with any other religion or any other people? And he goes, well, there's a thing, and he looked it up, called italophobia. Italophobia. You know what that is? People that hate. They hate Italians. I'm like. I go, was it one guy like, italophobia, bro. There's people out there that hate Italians. Oh, I'd like to be one of them. Do you know anyone who's ever so fucking hate Italians?
- [57:54]
A
What is that a thing there?
- [58:00]
B
It is, though.
- [58:02]
A
Yeah. I never heard of that. No, I never tell you, if you're.
- [58:05]
B
An italophobia, you are not going to like the peanuts of ash and show you that much.
- [58:10]
A
All right?
- [58:10]
B
Anyway, I had to share that.
- [58:12]
A
All right. Italophobia. All right. That's the Pete and Sebastian show here for today. We appreciate everybody that listened in and we were we will see you next week.
- [58:31]
B
The show has ended.
- [58:39]
A
I'm in bed by 9 o'. Clock.
- [58:41]
B
9 o'.
- [58:43]
A
Clock.
- [58:44]
B
So do your kids lock up? What the fuck?
- [59:00]
A
It's okay not to be perfect with finances. Experian is your big financial friend and here to help. Did you know you can get matched with credit cards on the app? Some cards are labeled no Ding Decline, which means if you're not approved, they won't hurt your credit scores. Download the Experian app for free today. Applying for no Ding Decline cards won't hurt your credit scores.
- [59:21]
B
If you aren't initially approved.
- [59:23]
A
Initial approval will result in a hard inquiry which may impact your credit scores.
- [59:27]
B
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