The Pete and Sebastian Show – EP 679 – ALL NUNNED OUT
Date: November 4, 2025
Hosts: Pete Correale & Sebastian Maniscalco
Main Theme:
This episode finds Pete and Sebastian in top form, riffing on life’s daily irritations, routines, old jobs, and especially the quirks of Catholic clergy attire and the baffling decline of nuns. Laced throughout are their comedic philosophies on family routines, home maintenance, travel headaches, and how old-school work ethics collide with modern life.
1. The Value of Sleep, Routines, and Putting Down the Phone
Sebastian opens by reflecting on his sleep and health routines, focusing on how age has genuinely shifted his priorities.
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Sleep as the New Gold (00:33–07:52)
- Sebastian shares his recent changes:
- Phone is put away after 7pm in another room.
- No more alcohol for two weeks.
- Taking pride in hitting the bed by 9pm.
- Key Quotes:
- “It’s one of those mornings where I feel like the brain is on.” – Sebastian (02:01)
- “You act like you got your first chip—you just got out of a church basement!” – Pete, criticizing Sebastian’s pride in not drinking (07:07)
- “At this age, I got a bedtime. I’m like an infant.” – Sebastian (07:26)
- Sebastian shares his recent changes:
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Benefits of Cutting Out the Phone (03:10–05:53)
- Increased presence with family, less stress, better sleep.
- Drawbacks? Can’t answer stray trivia at night.
- Memorable Observation:
- “Nothing is that pressing after 7pm at night where you need to reference your phone for anything.” – Sebastian (05:33)
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Family Sleep Patterns (08:07–09:46)
- Humor around simultaneous early bedtimes—parents and kids alike.
- “They tuck us in.” – Sebastian (08:34)
- “You want your parents up, like, on watch, like in Nam!” – Pete (09:01)
2. Household Management and Landscaper Antics
Sebastian describes the curse of being home too much—he can’t stop noticing what’s broken or inefficient around the house.
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The Landscape Water Watcher Bit (12:00–13:52)
- Sebastian observes two landscapers: one waters the lawn, the other simply watches.
- He resists posting the video online to avoid offending anyone.
- Memorable Moment:
- “Apparently you need a water watcher as well as a waterer.” – Pete (13:03)
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The Pitfalls of Being a Micromanaging Homeowner (13:52–16:37)
- Complaints include workers moving too slow, jobs requiring too many people, and the dangers of podcasting complaints—someone might overhear and retaliate.
- “I had this happen with the country club—heard the podcast and they pulled my application!” – Sebastian (14:20)
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Blue Collar Nostalgia—The Chicago Work Ethic (24:10–26:23)
- Sebastian: “In Chicago, the expectation is if you’re working labor, you’re sweating. That’s how hard you’re working.” (24:15)
- Childhood stories of mowing the lawn and the pride in doing physical labor.
3. Working Man Flashbacks: Sebastian’s UPS Horror Story
Sebastian reflects humorously but honestly on a tough summer job, which was a growing-up moment:
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UPS: Baptism by Conveyor Belt (25:47–32:14)
- Grueling overnight shifts, constant pressure to move boxes fast.
- “I was covered in dust. I’m blowing black out of my nose.” – Sebastian (25:49)
- “This was like real men…they were looking at me—I had cologne on.” (30:35)
- Regret at quitting a job after a neighbor pulled strings to get him hired.
- On quitting: “That was a young 17-year-old dumb mistake…I made the wrong decision.” (32:40)
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Shared Hard-Earned Wisdom (33:14–33:55)
- Pete relates with his own neighbor-arranged summer job story.
- “You can’t get back those high school summer years.” (33:39)
- “I think I got laid that summer.” – Sebastian, celebrating his youthful priorities (33:51)
4. Kids, Young Love, and Generational Differences
- Pete tells a story about his daughter getting her ankle grabbed during swim practice and what passes for flirting now.
- “He doesn’t know how to handle it so he grabs your ankle. That’s all part of it, man.” – Pete (35:24)
- Both hosts reflect on the changing language around sex—“getting laid” feels dated.
- “It’s only outdated because they don’t get laid!” – Pete (34:39)
5. Priests, Nuns, Airport Attire, and Clergy Comedy
This episode’s centerpiece is a hilarious, curious investigation of why priests and nuns are always in uniform, especially at airports.
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Traveling Clergy and Social Privilege (36:21–44:10)
- Pete shares an encounter sitting near a young priest on a flight, which sparks speculation about clerical dress codes.
- “If you’re a priest and you’re in line at Starbucks, and you’re the ninth guy, people are going to let you go ahead. Right?” – Sebastian (41:55)
- “I’ve often wondered what it’d be like to dress like a priest just for a day—to see what that feels like, in a great way.” – Pete (43:13)
- The hosts ponder: Is it legal or ‘stolen valor’ to masquerade as a priest? (43:25)
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Nuns as a Vanishing Breed (44:11–46:25)
- “I haven’t seen a nun in a while—like an albino.” – Pete (44:41)
- Statistics drop: far fewer nuns than people with albinism in the US.
- “There’s not a nun within 60 miles of LA.” – Sebastian (45:06)
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Why Are There So Few Nuns? Cracking the Vow of Poverty (46:43–48:05)
- Nuns make no salary, give earnings to the religious community, hope for small allowances.
- “No wonder they’re in decline—the job pays nothing. What the fuck, I’m walking around in a hobbit, I can’t even go on vacation.” – Sebastian (47:14)
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Listener Feedback: Lighten Up! (48:05–49:08)
- Sebastian addresses a listener who criticized them for joking about the Church and the Pope.
- “We poke fun at every walk of life here…just to lighten it up a little bit.” (48:53)
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Celibacy, Modernity, and the Future of the Clergy (49:15–51:07)
- Pete: “They actually had discussions about maybe letting priests get laid…that would help.”
- Sebastian: “You gotta open it up…what man is gonna do this? You gotta open it up, man.” (50:03)
- “No wonder church is boring, the guy’s got semen up to his neck.” – Sebastian’s wildest line (50:53)
6. Tour Life and Travel Trials
Pete details the relentless logistics and frustrations of comedy touring.
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Flight Problems & Customer Service Games (51:24–54:44)
- Describes a Southwest Airlines experience: delays, missed connections, leveraging charm to get rerouted.
- “This is a move for all you people: while you’re on line, call customer service.” – Pete (53:08)
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On Tour Exhaustion & Travel Tensions (54:44–55:11)
- The stress and lack of sleep resulting from missed connections and long travel days.
- “This is the part of touring I don’t like.” – Pete (54:20)
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The Need for Efficient Planning (55:11–56:42)
- Recommendation to avoid layover-dependent itineraries from small airports—too many things can go wrong.
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People Who Hold Up the Plane (55:11–56:42)
- Tale of a guy causing a takeoff delay by lingering in the plane bathroom.
- “Even if you’re dying, just bleed out in your fucking seat. Get in your seat.” – Pete (55:28)
- Tale of a guy causing a takeoff delay by lingering in the plane bathroom.
7. Odds, Ends, and Future Show Teasers
- Listener Base & Upcoming Guest Appearance (56:42–57:03)
- Pete is on tour, Sebastian appeared on Bobby Lee’s "Tiger Belly" podcast.
- Italophobia—A New (Old) Kind of Prejudice (57:16–58:11)
- The guys discuss the obscure term “italophobia” (anti-Italian prejudice), in classic self-deprecating style.
- “If you’re an italophobia, you’re not going to like the Pete & Sebastian Show.” – Pete (58:05)
Standout Quotes & Moments:
- "You’re forgetting the one that gives you hope—the third pull on the lawnmower. It almost kicks on...Oh, you get it!" – Pete (17:42)
- “What’s my salary as a nun? Where am I working? Can I get breast implants? Can I have sex? What are we talking?” – Pete (46:25)
- “No wonder church is boring, the guy’s got semen up to his neck.” – Sebastian (50:53) [wildly irreverent]
- “There’s not a nun within 60 miles of this place.” – Sebastian, on LA’s nun drought (45:06)
Episode Takeaways
- Comedy from Real Life: Pete and Sebastian’s strength is finding humor in the mundane—bedtimes, home improvements, travel, and even the dwindling nun population.
- Generational Wisdom: Old labor stories form a backbone of shared perspective and comic sympathy for today’s “soft” routines.
- Irreverence with Warmth: Even when roasting the Church or zooming in on clergy quirks, the core is comic affection and nostalgia, not malice.
- Listener Engagement: They’re always aware the audience is listening—sometimes too closely!
- On Tour: Pete’s travel stories are pure anxiety gold for road comic fans.
For next week:
- Sebastian’s Tiger Belly interview recap
- More tour stories and “pulling a Pete” moments
Final Note:
If you value keen eyes on ordinary absurdities, ribbing about work ethic, and uninhibited talk about church culture, you’ll want to be “all nunned out” with this one.
