The Pete and Sebastian Show – EP 683: COP MUSTACHE

Date: December 2, 2025
Hosts: Pete Correale & Sebastian Maniscalco
Main Theme: Everyday comedy, etiquette, and the “art” of being a model citizen—both on airplanes and when getting pulled over. Bonus: The return of Pete’s legendary neighborhood “blow-up.”

Episode Overview

In this episode, Pete and Sebastian dive deep into the hilarious and sometimes maddening situations of daily life—awkward Zoom etiquette, airplane seat-switching politics, dog-walking drama, and how to ace a police traffic stop (with a surprise twist courtesy of a cop’s “Raleigh Fingers” mustache). The episode is classic Pete & Sebastian, mixing relatable gripes, subtle social observations, and energetic rants, with a focus on the importance—and limits—of leading by example.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Zoom Call Etiquette and Attire

(01:19-08:59)

• Sebastian teases Pete’s new “lumberjack” flannel:
  Sebastian: “If you’re a viewer, if you have eyeballs, you notice that Pete has what looks like a flannel, something a lumberjack would have on. Is this the attire out in Rochester?”
  Pete explains it’s just seasonal—practical for snow and Thanksgiving in upstate New York.

• Weather bragging on calls irritates Pete:
  “Whenever people on the west coast brag about their warm weather on Zoom, I feel like they deserve whatever’s coming to them..." (02:00)
  Both agree: if you’re bragging about great weather, follow it up with something negative (like LA’s traffic).

• Artificial Zoom backgrounds create suspicion:
  Sebastian: “The whole time I’m looking at your fake background, I’m thinking, what’s behind that? Are we covering up mess or criminal evidence?” (04:47)
  Pete: “I think if people saw the real setup, they’d limit business opportunities. There’s underwear on my couch, I’d lose the deal.” (05:35)

• The pain of forced small talk:
  Both hate the pre-meeting chatter as people “populate” into Zoom.
  Sebastian’s “pro tip:”
  “That’s why you got your camera off, your audio off… And then when everybody’s on, you pop in. You’re dark, you’re there, just waiting.” (08:14)
  But Pete worries: “I’m usually the one who needs help, so I feel obligated to be early.”

• Small talk with neighbors—better or worse in person?:
  Pete: “Walking past neighbors… not saying hi feels, like, inhumane, animalistic—a couple of bears passing in the woods.” (08:59)

2. Awkward Airplane Seat Switching & Travel Observations

(12:50-33:34)

• Sebastian’s seat-switching dilemma (With classic overthinking):
  His flight home from Boston puts him in the aisle of a first class row. A mother asks him to take a window seat so she can sit with her 12-year-old son; he politely declines, citing claustrophobia. Sebastian, conflicted: “Do you have to give a reason, or can you just say, ‘nah, I’m good’?” (15:08)
  Pete: “You technically don’t, but when you’re blunt, you might come off as an asshole. Efficient, but mean.”
  Sebastian detail-obsesses: “Now I gotta sit next to this person for six hours!” (15:58)

• Mother’s request, the “protestor barista” seatmate, and seat setup rituals:
  The mother also gets denied by the window passenger. Sebastian describes her: “She just looked… like your local Starbucks barista, who could be at a protest later.” (17:53)
  Pete nails it: “She could need a bathroom at any moment.”
  The woman proceeds with her long seat-prep ritual and Ruffles feast—prompting more Sebastian judgment:
  “She brought a bag of Ruffles bigger than her carry-on. I wouldn’t have even given this woman a seat on the plane!” (23:47)

• Who’s the real “asshole” in the seat scenario?
  Pete, laying down the verdict:
  “The real asshole is the mom. You said it—he’s 12, not an infant. Why does anybody else have to be inconvenienced?” (24:20)
  Sebastian, finally persuaded: “The more I think about it, you’re right. Fuck this lady.” (27:10)

• Family dynamics and airplane anxiety:
  Sebastian humorously theorizes the family’s backstory, becoming temporary ‘protector’ of the unattended boy and psychoanalyzing the dad's role from a distance. (29:07)

• Sebastian’s “leading by example” never works:
  He refuses the on-board meal, hoping his restraint will influence others—never does. Pete:
  “People don’t learn from example anymore. You gotta be dramatic if you want to change behaviors!” (33:13)

3. Neighborhood Dog Attack – “Pulling a Pete”

(35:17-46:52)

• Pete lives up to his hothead reputation:
  Walks his dog Duke in the dark, is charged by two neighbor dogs. Shouts and curses at the neighbor to get his dogs “in line.”
  Pete, in full meltdown: “People haven’t heard the F bomb out loud in this neighborhood since 1987, and I dropped like five!” (39:22)

• Aftermath at home:
  Jackie (his wife) and daughter Sadie are mortified.
  Pete: “Jackie had that look like, ‘Fuck, I gotta live here… now the whole neighborhood hates us.’” (35:46)

• He calls his brother for validation:
  Brother relates his own Walmart parking lot blow-up, concluding:
  “Those people don’t respond to subtlety. They hear ‘fuck,’ they respond to ‘fuck.’” (41:00)

• Sebastian’s scale of anger:
  Sebastian: “Your 10 (on anger) is always just under the surface, a shark in shallow water. My 10 swims deep. If it comes out, you’re getting stabbed!” (43:11)

• Neighborhood “reputation building” and remorse:
  Jackie dreads Pete’s outbursts for making local life awkward. Pete, reflective:
  “I rarely, an hour later, go, I’m so glad I did that. I’m always like, I literally thought about bringing a guy a bottle of wine—his dog attacked me, and I’m bringing over a Merlot.” (45:00)

4. Police Pullover Tutorial – “How To Ace A Traffic Stop”

(46:52-73:18)

• Sebastian gets pulled over by a motorcycle cop, notes the “Raleigh Fingers” mustache:
  “Guy looked like he could be a bartender at a high-end craft cocktail joint!” (53:30)

• Step-by-step: how Sebastian nails the interaction:

  • Pulls over quickly, no drama
  • All windows down (“No surprises here. I don’t crack the window, none of that YouTube license/registration game.” 50:32)
  • License and insurance out before cop approaches (50:32)
  • Hands at 10 and 2 (“Everything on the dash. I am putting you at ease 100%. No surprises.” 53:11)
  • Admits to phone use (calling, not texting—doesn’t argue, just nods) (54:07)
  • Insurance and registration are laminated (“This shit looks like it’s state-issued, bro.” 58:51)

• Big takeaway:
  Sebastian: “I want this to be used as a tutorial in classrooms across the country.” (61:35)

• Cop ends with “Have a blessed day,” which baffles Sebastian (61:19)

  • Is that universal or too religious to say on duty? Did the cop reward his compliance with this extra kindness?
  • Pete speculates: “Maybe he said 'blessed' because you were so good, it's a higher level of thanks.” (62:32)

• Laminate-level neatness triggers suspicion:
  Pete wonders if being “too clean” and super-prepared sends hitman vibes:
  “You ever see a hitman when he’s gotta get away, pulls out a passport from the safe? You’re so organized, it’s unbelievable!” (59:25)

• Judge Roleplay:
  If Sebastian fought the ticket:
  Sebastian as himself in court: “Your honor, if that’s against the law, I apologize and I assume full responsibility.” (67:51)
  Pete: “Guy would waive it, just for the classiness.”

• Do quotas really exist? Sebastian: “It was October 31st, maybe he had to meet his quota..." Pete is skeptical. Both agree cops have a tough job in unpredictable situations.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Flannel/Holiday Brooding

• Sebastian (on Pete’s clothes):
  “If you have eyeballs, you notice that Pete has what looks like a flannel, something maybe a lumberjack would have on.” (01:19)

Zoom Banter

• Sebastian: “Let’s get rid of small talk in life.” (08:14)

Airplane Switching

• Pete (ruling on the seat dispute):
  “The real asshole is the mom…The heavyset lady with the chips, she’s an animal, but she’s not doing anything she’s not allotted to do for what she paid for.” (24:20-25:24)

Dog Attack

• Pete (defending himself):
  “I dropped, like, five [F bombs]! People haven’t heard that in this neighborhood since 1987!” (39:22)
  Sebastian’s analogy for Pete’s anger:
  “Your 10 is just under the surface—a shark in shallow water. Mine’s 100 feet deep, but if it comes out, you’re getting stabbed!” (43:11)

Cop Mustache & Pullover Tutorial

• Sebastian (on the cop):
  “He’s got a Raleigh Fingers mustache. This guy looked like he could be a bartender at a high-end craft cocktail joint!” (53:30)
• Sebastian (setting the tutorial):
  “Windows down. Hands at 10 and 2. License and insurance laminated on the dash. I am putting you at ease 100%. No surprises.” (50:32-53:11)
• Sebastian (lamenting getting the ticket anyway):
  “Doesn’t cool account for anything? Like, you know, you got an F on the test, but you’ve just been a joy to have in class?” (68:24)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Flannel and Zoom banter: 01:19–08:59
• Plane seat-switching saga: 12:50–33:34
• Neighborhood “blow-up” with dogs: 35:17–46:52
• Police pullover masterclass (“cop mustache”): 46:52–73:18
• Chart rankings, wrap-up, shoutouts: 73:18–end

Tone & Style

• Conversational, observational, self-deprecating, and infused with both Italian guilt and blue-collar righteousness.
• Both hosts are quick to poke fun at themselves, psychoanalyze their own pettiness, and dig deep on the minutiae of social behavior.

Summary

“COP MUSTACHE” is a perfect slice of Pete & Sebastian’s world—a blend of rich observational comedy, relatable daily headaches, and a running “what’s wrong with people?” subtext. From airplane etiquette to being pulled over, the duo dissects modern life’s awkwardness, always searching for the lost art of basic decency (and questioning if it ever really pays off). It’s everything fans love: ranting, overthinking, big laughs, and honest reflections—plus a public service announcement in how (not) to behave.

For comedy fans and everyday grinders alike, this episode is a guide to surviving—and finding humor in—life’s nonstop social puzzles.