44 | Hannah Berner in The Player’s Box

Summary

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The Player’s Box: Episode 44

Guest: Hannah Berner
Hosts: Madison Keys, Jessica Pegula, Jennifer Brady, Desirae Krawczyk
Release Date: June 16, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode welcomes comedian, podcaster, and former Wisconsin tennis standout Hannah Berner to the Players Box. The group dives into behind-the-scenes tennis tales, awkward social moments, the transition from athlete to entertainer, mental health on tour, and the powerful crossover between competitive tennis and standup comedy. Hannah’s signature humor and candid stories lead to lots of laughter and motivational moments, while the hosts share their own foibles and friendship-driven support systems. The episode is rich with relatable insights for tennis fans and anyone seeking inspiration from life’s pivots.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Icebreakers and Unforced Errors (01:07–07:09)

• As is tradition, the episode starts with “unforced errors” — the segment where each host (and guest) shares a recent mishap.
  • Jenny’s Bathroom Misadventures: Locked doors, accidental walk-ins (03:13)
    • “Then right before I left the restaurant, I went back to that same stall and open the door, and there was a man standing there, like, peeing in the toilet.”
    • All laugh about double mishaps and whether two errors make a ‘winner.’
  • Hannah’s Celebrity Encounter: Awkward greeting with Fat Joe (04:11)
    • “I was like, I should say something to him. But then right before I said his name, I was like, I’m not gonna call him fat. That just feels wrong. ... So I just was like, ‘Hi, Mr. Joe.’”
  • Madison’s Car Neglect: Ignored her tire pressure light, banking on heat inflating her tires (06:16)

2. Comedy + Tennis: Relaxation and Pressure Relief (07:09–13:30)

• Comedy as Stress Release:
  • Hannah sees herself as “that therapist that you’re like, that was a little crazy, but at least I forgot about my issues for a second.” (08:33)
  • The group bonds over the unique stressors of tennis, and how laughter is healing.
• Podcasting as a Team Sport:
  • Logistics, time zones, and fatigue: “Podcasting with four people is really hard, you guys.” – Hannah (10:14)
  • Sometimes the best episodes are when you’re tired: “The ones when you finish and you’re like, was that good or terrible? And then everyone is like, that was amazing.” – Madison (11:11)
• Relatability between Comedy & Tennis:
  • Performing under pressure is a common theme, with parallels drawn between bombing on stage and choking in a match.

3. Hannah’s Tennis Origin Story & Playing With Pegula (16:05–21:44)

• Doubles with Jess:
  • Hannah recounts partnering with Jess in juniors, slicing backhands, losing (“it was my fault!”) and later name-dropping Jess for cred. (16:22–20:03)
    • “I was getting into Tennis Hall of Fame. Like, I was basically like, I’m running Wimbledon at this point, because I’ve been dropping your name.” – Hannah (19:35)
  • Pegula admits to forgetting the match but is game for the banter.
• The Trauma Bond of Junior Tennis:
  • Rivalries evolved into rooting for one another in adulthood—Hannah: “It’s like a badge of honor that we, like, survived juniors and college tennis together.” (21:44)

4. Unique Aspects of Tennis Etiquette

• Social Strangeness in Tennis:
  • Explaining tennis etiquette to outsiders (apologizing after let cords, the need for politeness).
    • “You have to win, but you also have to be polite. What the hell is this?” – Paige (recounted by Hannah, 22:40)

5. Cheating, Junior Dramas, and Umpires (23:32–24:52)

• Dealing with Cheating:
  • All share stories of hunting down umpires at junior tournaments, struggles with line calls, and the relief that pros have Hawk-Eye and more impartial officiating.

6. Line Calling & Nostalgia for Human Interaction (24:52–26:50)

• Debate Over Electronic Line Calling:
  • Madison finds value in occasionally fighting with umpires—it’s part of processing frustration:
    • “There’s something nostalgic about being like, all right, we get to fight.” (25:34)
• Crying On the Court:
  • Hannah admits she cried on court, seeing tennis as an emotional outlet, whereas the pros seem “so level-headed.” (26:08)

7. Favorite Tour Players, Commentators, and Women’s Tennis Love (27:35–31:27)

• Hype for All the Hosts:
  • Hannah delivers personalized, hype-filled assessments of each host (“You’re that girl ... you’re a freak ... you’re insane and incredible.”) and shouts out doubles star Des (27:48–29:24).
  • Admits preference for women’s tennis: “I think it’s so much more interesting to watch. ... I want the drama.” (29:26–29:43)
• Commentator Preferences:
  • Loves former players’ honesty and insider details. Praises Coco Gauff, Jeannie Bouchard, Sloane Stephens, Andrea Petkovic, and Caroline Wozniacki for providing “that extra tea.” (30:10–31:27)

8. Real Talk on College Tennis, Pressure, and Team Dynamics (32:00–36:40)

• Team Pressure vs. Individual Pressure:
  • Hannah reflects on in-team competition, brutal schedules, and why the “bond” lasts for life.
  • Confessions of being the team clown, “causing chaos,” and being the designated hype-woman—even when tanking her own match. (34:53)
• How Tennis Prepares You for Anything:
  • “I’ve experienced darkness. I know failure, and that’s why I think I’m not scared of anything. ... What’s more embarrassing than that?” – Hannah (35:45)
  • Brady: “Like, you’ve literally tanked and blew it in front of, like, all of your teammates, your coaches, or for us, like, in a stadium full of people.”

9. Parallels Between Comedy and Tennis: Mental Health & Growth (37:56–41:57)

• High-Level Insights:
  • Both careers are about traveling solo, confronting vulnerability, dealing with crowds, and handling rejection.
  • Hannah made a conscious choice to treat comedy with more self-kindness than she allowed herself with tennis:
    • “Tennis, I really put a lot of pressure on myself. … When I started comedy, I was like, ‘the second I stop having fun, I’m gonna stop doing it.’” (37:57)
• Learning to Reframe Failure:
  • Tennis trauma can become new strengths; mental health is a journey.

10. Motivation, Self-Talk, and Changing Your Narrative (47:14–51:15)

• Handling Setbacks:
  • Using losses as motivation, reframing negative events, and not getting stuck on “the bad call.”
• Changing Your Story:
  • “Your storyline is just what you make up in your head. … You could change it any day.” – Hannah (49:17)
• Value of Player Friendships:
  • Camaraderie and sharing honestly can extend careers and make life after tennis easier.

11. Rapid-Fire: None of My Business (58:17–65:06)

• The group plays a game inspired by Hannah’s special “None of My Business,” debating which situations warrant concern:
  • Accidentally opened neighbor’s package full of eye patches—not my business.
  • Co-worker refuses to discuss Wednesdays—everyone would definitely get involved.
  • Friend’s boyfriend brings a kazoo to restaurants—split between intervention and joining the fun.
  • Tennis-related tattoo in another language provokes a round of tour anecdotes.
• “Honestly, like, I have enough stuff going on in my own life. I’m like, none of my business. Like, I can’t deal with this right now.” – Hannah (58:47)

12. Lighthearted Games and Meltdowns (52:21–58:04)

• Keeping straight faces during silly prompts and reading ad read copy—leading to stories about on-court meltdowns, racket throwing, and parent-imposed behavioral limits.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Doubles With Pegula:
  • “Every time you won a match, I was like, yes, My double sport.” – Hannah (16:22)
• On Tennis Etiquette:
  • “If you slightly hit the wrong part of your racket during a winner, you have to be like, I am literally so sorry.” – Hannah (22:54)
• On Comedy After Tennis:
  • “I almost like reparented and re-coached myself in comedy where I feel like, because I had such a tough time with tennis… I’m not gonna do that to myself again.” – Hannah (37:57)
• On Changing Self-Perception:
  • “You start believing the story you tell yourself, and then you… realize, oh, I made that up. And I’ve been believing it.” – Hannah (50:30)
• On Friendship and Longevity:
  • “This is probably going to elongate your career. Like, having camaraderie.” – Hannah (51:50)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:07 – Episode kicks off, introductions, and “unforced errors”
• 16:05 – Hannah’s tennis background, junior doubles with Jess
• 21:44 – The trauma bond of junior tennis and etiquette quirks
• 23:32 – Cheating, umpire hunts, and junior tennis chaos
• 24:52 – Debate: electronic line calling vs. the need to fight
• 27:35 – Hannah’s favorite players (the hosts!) and love for women’s tennis
• 32:00 – Real talk on college tennis, team dynamics
• 37:56 – Tennis vs. Comedy: handling pressure, mental health insights
• 47:14 – Using setbacks as motivation, growth mindset
• 52:21 – “Keep a straight face” game and on-court meltdown stories
• 58:17 – “None of My Business” rapid-fire scenario game

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Conclusion

This uplifting and laugh-out-loud episode is not just about the lighter side of life on tour. With Hannah Berner’s tennis roots and comedic lens, the discussion provides rare candor about the anxiety, pressure, and friendship that shape professional (and ex-professional) athletes’ lives. The support each host gives one another is a testament to the importance of camaraderie in high-performance environments—on tour and beyond. Whether you’re a tennis buff, comedy fan, or just someone contemplating a big pivot in life, this episode delivers heart, humor, and invaluable perspective.

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[End of Summary]

Transcript

[A]

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[D]

That's why you wreck.

[E]

This is the Players Box,

[B]

Everyone. Welcome back to the Players Box. As always, a friendly reminder to please give our podcast five stars and subscribe on YouTube. We are so excited. I mean, this is the greatest episode we've ever done to have comedian, podcaster, former Wisconsin tennis star Hannah Berner joining us. Hannah was so busy, we don't know how she made it. We're so excited I added that. Hannah, we're so excited you're here. Can you describe to people just how big of a tennis fan you are? Well, we always start our episodes with an unforced error. So, Jess. Okay, those were two questions in one. Jess, why don't you give us our unforced error? Thank you for having me. Players box.

[D]

Yes, well, we always start with an unforced error. I'll give mine quick first. The other day I was. Wait, actually, oh, no, I think I. I think it might have been the same one I did last week.

[B]

That's your unforced error that you.

[D]

What did I say last week? Was it the gross? The instacart one?

[C]

Yeah, the instacart.

[D]

Oh. So, yeah, I don't have one, so I really don't remember. I thought that was mine and it was from the one from last week. Okay. I guess that's my enforcer.

[B]

I love that she's like, I don't pass that.

[D]

I was gonna use the same one as we did last time, so actually I have none. So, Jenny, why don't you go.

[C]

Well, actually, I don't know if you

[E]

can see, but my.

[C]

I Was just swimming and we can't hear you.

[B]

That's your unforced error. You can't speak.

[C]

I was like, I don't know if you can see or not, but I was just swimming, and my goggles were so tight that it, like, suction cupped my eyes, and I have marks on my eyes, so if anybody sees my eyes, it's because I was just swimming. But my unforced error happened yesterday. I was in New York, and I was out to lunch, and I went to the bathroom at the restaurant, and I went to lock the door, and it was like a multiple turn type lock situation.

[D]

And.

[C]

And the door didn't lock, clearly, because I was in there washing my hands. And then someone walked in on me, and I was like, oh, no, you're good. Like, come on in.

[B]

And then I was like, wait.

[C]

And then I was like, wait, no.

[E]

What?

[C]

Obviously, they didn't come in. Like, they walked to the next stall, but. And then right before I left the restaurant, I went back to that same stall and open the door, and there was a man standing there, like, peeing in the toilet. So, yeah, so I had to witness that as well. So that was my unforced error.

[B]

That's a double unforced.

[C]

Yeah, it was a double.

[B]

Which can delete each other out. Is that the rule? It becomes a winner?

[D]

You know, it's whatever you want it to be.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I don't think so. It's like a double fall.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Double fall. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Hannah, do you want to. Do you have one or a winner?

[B]

Okay. Not to name drop, but, like, I'm in New York, too, and it's the Knicks time, and it's like, craziness. And I was at the. They're like, practice yesterday for something, and I saw a fat Joe walking by, And I'm a native New Yorker, but I don't really like to bother people. I know. I don't know what it looks about. I actually don't like bothering people. Like, it took me a long time to get on this pod. Like, I'm like, I'll bother them, like, once they get in a groove. But I was like, I should say something to him. But then right before I said his name, I was like, I'm not gonna call him fat. That just feels wrong. Like, I'm not gonna be like, what's up? Also. Anyway, so I just was like, hi, Mr. Joe. And he responded well. But, like, I was my producer, and they looked at me. They just, like, shook my head at me, and I was like, okay. It just. I came out, it happened. But he smiled. Because New York, no one can mess up right now. Everyone's just like healing and excited. But yeah, calling him Mr. Joe wasn't ideal.

[E]

At least you didn't call it Mr.

[D]

Fat.

[B]

Yeah,

[C]

that's better than Mr. Fat. Yeah.

[D]

Was he nice at least?

[B]

He was so nice. But I feel like New Yorkers are just in such a good mood right now. We're all just hugging and, like crying and like, everyone's friends.

[C]

Crazy New York is crazy right now. I've never seen so many nicks.

[B]

People are saying good morning to each other.

[C]

Like, it's crazy. Yeah. Because I was in K town and it's right next to msg. Yeah. And it was, yeah. Crazy. Maddie.

[E]

My only unforced error is that I have ignored my tire pressure light for so long that it's essentially screaming at me at this point. And I was finishing practice and I was like, it'll be fine. I'll have time to get, you know, air in my tires. And as I'm like driving past, I was like, there's a line for air. It'll be fine. One more day.

[D]

So you didn't actually do it because she texted us before, like, I just air my tire. I'll be right on. We're like, what if I didn't do it? It'll be fine.

[E]

It's fine.

[C]

It's not.

[E]

It'll be.

[B]

There is like a made up thing.

[E]

No, I was like, it. It'll get hotter later today. They inflate more when it's hot and when you drive. So it's like not that big of a deal. It's fine.

[B]

Yeah, my husband is going to kill

[E]

me later, so he's probably going to take my car.

[D]

Hey, see, that's actually the winner is that someone else will do it for you. Your husband, if you do it for you.

[E]

If you ignore it long enough, your husband will be concerned about your safety and finally just do it.

[B]

Wait, that's so true. Put yourself in danger so your husband has to legally or he doesn't love you.

[D]

Exactly. Well, usually we all share a collective kind of. Or not a collective, but like a. The worst unforced era. Like someone is a winner. But I think we can all say that the. Our collective winner here on the podcast is your new standup special that's out now called none of my Business, which I believe is on Hulu.

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[D]

Okay. Yes, I got that right. So that's awesome. I am going to save it to watch it when I Fly back over to England for sure. But I've already seen some clips. And speaking of husbands, was it you, Maddie, that sent the husband clip to our podcast before? It was so good.

[B]

That was an intense one.

[C]

That was hilarious.

[B]

For anyone listening, the fact that, like,

[E]

no one laughed at first, I think was, like, the greatest part.

[B]

It's funny because as a standup, one of the biggest questions I get is like, what if people don't laugh? And I'm like, that's the funniest part. If that happens, like, when people don't, I'm like, oh, that's what you guys got tied on. Like, that's what I think. It's funny to laugh. People don't laugh at. But yeah, I made a dead parents joke, which. And I. You just have to watch every night, you guys.

[D]

Yeah, you gotta watch it.

[C]

You gotta watch it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And, like, if you don't laugh, you cry. But I actually, I'm so, like, first of all, I'm such a huge fan of you guys. And knowing that some of you guys, like, consume my content or laugh or listen to my podcast, I feel like I'm giving back to tennis community because you guys are in such, like, high pressure jobs that I'm like, if I could help you forget about the pressure and get out of your head for a second, I'm like, then that's what I want to give to the tennis world. I'm like, that therapist that you're like, that was a little crazy, but at least I forgot about my issues for a second. Yeah.

[D]

Well, I think comedy is one of the best ways to. To like, relieve any sort of stress is. I love that part of it. It just gets you out of your head. And yeah, we appreciate it because we laugh a lot at you a lot.

[B]

Yeah, thank. And I really laugh at you guys a lot. You guys are crushing it. Not to make this a whole festive love fest, but, like, you guys have a full. You have full time jobs and you're pulling this off like the men could never. You're organizing like, I'm sorry, no, one more time. It's. No, it's really crazy. And you have like four of you. That's like a full girl band. Like, that's a lot of logistics.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And I was gonna mention, obviously for anyone that watches Us Weekly, Des usually does our intro. She is not able to be on today, which we found out last minute, but unfortunately, she does have her real job, which is playing tennis. And she had a match today. We thought it would be funny if Hannah did the intro because she's like, oh, I can be dez. I'll channel dez. And so I was going to do it and we'. Wait, Hannah, can you just do the intro? So I think she did it justice.

[B]

Podcasting is with four people is really hard, you guys.

[D]

Like, that's what everyone told us when we started. And I was like, we're fine. We can do it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Especially as individual athletes. Like, this is a team effort.

[E]

The scheduling with, like, Jess is playing at one time, I'm playing at another time. Jenny's at home. DEZ is on a train.

[B]

It's like, okay. The time differences.

[E]

Scheduling has probably been the hardest obstacle. And for the most part, we've been really good. And we've had one time so far where we literally filmed, like, the day before we were dropping and it was a little chaotic where we're like, no, no. We literally have to do it today.

[B]

I also feel like when you're tired, sometimes the episodes are better. Like, Paige and I get in some situations, and we're like, this be to is going gonna be bad. And then it's the funniest pod we've done.

[E]

So isn't it funny? It's like the ones when you finish and you're like, was that good or terrible? And then everyone is like, that was amazing. And we're like, was it? I don't remember what I said.

[D]

Yeah. What happened?

[B]

But it is like tennis, where, like, if you get in the zone and you don't overthink works. You can't try too hard.

[C]

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[C]

Okay, let's get into Hannah's tennis journey. So Hannah, you actually said that you have played doubles with Jessica before and would you like to talk about that? If you remember Jess? I don't know if you remember.

[B]

I feel like this is like I've been talking about this in every media interview I've ever done and it's like come through to Jess like multiple times and now I'm finally like able to look Jess in the eye. Like this was my, my origin story. Okay, what I remember, I think it was like a 14 and no, it was an international 18 and under tournament. We were like 15, 16 ish. Grade three maybe. Somehow we got randomly placed together in doubles. Your team was like, we don't know how this happened. And Jess was like, look, I'm just here to do my job. And then we were like, we warmed up and all I remember is you. Like we were going cross court backhand and your coach was like, let's do slice backhands. And you were like knifing it so intensely perfectly every time. And I was like, this is like a robot. Like, what is going on with this girl? It was really crazy. And then we played our match. We lost. It was my fault. And then I think I said sorry. And then I guess I kind of just followed your career slowly. And I was like, oh, it's my doubles partner. And then as every time you won a match, I was like, yes, My double sport. And then as I started to get more popular and you started to get more popular, I was like, we doubles partners are killing it right now. So, yeah, I've just been watching all you guys and. But I'm of the era. I'm trying to. It's. Tennis is such a small world. I. I was like. I was with like, Christina McHale. I grew up with Christina McHale, so I've, like, played her since I was like nine years old. Christian Coco Van Deway. And I had an epic match where I was up 5:2. And then she broke her racket naturally and got a point penalty. And then she calmed down and beat me 7, 5, 6, 2. And my dad was like, what the hell was that? And I was like, she's really good, I swear. And she ended up winning the tournament. Do you know when you actually had a great match, but your dad is like, what the hell was that? And I'm like, I swear to God, being up 5:2 against her was the win.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

She also was like twice the size of me, and I was so scared. She says she doesn't remember either. So anyway, all you guys don't remember me, but I swear to God, this is not made up. Google it. It's somewhere.

[D]

I was gonna say, I, like, I remember when you started getting popular again and I, like, knew you and I remembered you. I don't honestly remember our warmup or our double speech. And then I just was like, Hannah's like, I kept hearing this story. Like, she said she played doubles with you. I was like, really? Like, I don't remember this. But then this story has been, like, circulating for, like, years now.

[B]

Years.

[D]

And you're right, this is the first time we've actually addressed it. And then I remember, like, you being at the U.S. open and you're like waving to me at the stage.

[B]

You're like, jesse, do you remember me? Oh, my God, I'm a full fledged stalker. Like, you don't understand. When I'd meet, like real tennis people, they'd be like, oh, so who do you.

[C]

Who do you know?

[B]

And I'd be like, I played doubles with Jesse Pegula. And then suddenly I'd have so much respect. So I started name dropping you everywhere. I was getting into Tennis hall of Fame. Like, I was basically like, I'm running Wimbledon at this point. Cause I've been dropping your name. But yeah, I'm with my friends at some, like, influencer thing. And you're practicing and I'm like, guys, watch this. Jesse. And you're like, security. This girl is everywhere and telling people she knows me. Me.

[D]

I was like, oh, my God, she's here. She keeps circulating this story about me, and I don't remember any of it, but, like, it's so funny. But yeah, that's our origin story. I love it, though.

[B]

But I'm weird. Like, you guys, you remember matches, like random matches from when you're like 12, right? Yeah, vividly. Yeah, yeah. And. But I, like, can't remember what I did yesterday.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, same problem.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But I'm glad our. Our doubles match wasn't like, traumatic to the point that you remembered it. I think we had fun.

[D]

That's true.

[C]

I think you remember more like the traumatic.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[C]

Well, I was going to ask who else on tour you've played with or against, but I think you. Unless there's anybody else.

[B]

I remember, like, Madison just, you know, like, you just know people's names around. And like, I remember Sloan was in a lot of tournaments. Heather Watson was in a lot of tournaments.

[C]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[B]

That's like a time. But no. Yeah. And seeing Maddie win her last grand Slam. Oh, I was like, yeah, I know her long time. Girls, literal girls.

[C]

We warmed up next to each other

[E]

because we go back.

[B]

No, like, literally, we've warmed up next week each other, I think.

[E]

But, well, the tennis. The tennis world is like, so small, especially in juniors. So you. You know of so many people, and then you, like, see them later in life, either doing something else or they have an amazing run and you're like, oh, my God, I remember when I was 12.

[B]

And it's so funny because you guys are still in it, but there's this. And maybe it's different once you go. But there's the girls that, you know, you had the biggest beef with in juniors. And when I see them now, I literally, like, feel so trauma bonded to them and like, I'm rooting for them because I'm like, forget all the rest of these people. Me and you, we went through it and we survived. Like, I love these girls who I used to have, like, wars with. I'm like, that's my girl. So I. It's like a badge of honor that we, like, survived juniors and college tennis together. It's like, it's really beautiful. But it's so funny explaining tennis to non tennis people. Like, on my pod, I was explaining to Paige some of the dramas of, like, tennis etiquette and talking. Saying it out loud makes it sound crazy. Like, I was like, if you don't say sorry at the right time for things. You're in trouble. And Paige is like, so you have to win, but you also have to be polite. What the hell is this? But then baseball, they'll just hit someone with the pitch, and they don't even say sorry.

[E]

They don't even acknowledge you. Just.

[D]

You get into a brawl that's like,

[B]

where, like, if you slightly hit the wrong part of your racket during a winner, you have to be like, I am literally so sorry. Are you okay? Please forgive me. I'm literally so sorry.

[D]

It's so true.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

It's like, as you're saying it out loud, it's like, wow, that is actually certifiably insane.

[B]

Insane. And then even Wimbledon, like, you guys are about to have, knock on wood, just, like, so many bad bounces. Like, do you have to put your hand up every time the ball bounces?

[E]

Weird?

[B]

That's crazy. It's literally crazy. Yeah.

[D]

Or. And we've talked about this before, but going back to junior tennis when, like, someone's cheating you and you gotta go hunt down an umpire when you're, like, 14, and go ask some, like, grown man to come over and watch your core and try to agree on a score. Like, it's insane. What are we doing?

[B]

I was like, when you realize, like, I'm gonna get the umpire, and then you realize you have to keep walking. Like, you're. You're four quarts away right now, lost. You're crying, you can't even see where you're going. You try to find the ump. You don't even know what point it was. And when they come back, they're like, we can't help you. Or are like, cannot they? They're so old, some of them, they can't

[E]

see.

[B]

I think they've asked me, like, what ball number are you playing with? And I put my hands up, and they're like, I can't see that. And I'm like, I'm going home. But no, the cheating in juniors and college is so rampant, which is why, like, watching the pros is. Is, like, kind of therapeutic. I mean, the French. I don't know if you guys talked about this already, but do you think they're ready for line calling? I was like, I don't know. To have. Did what they call it. Digital line calling?

[D]

Electronic elc.

[B]

Elc.

[C]

The line.

[E]

Yeah, I. I hope so. I go back and forth on it, because growing up, fighting with a chair umpire is sometimes therapeutic. And there's a little bit of satisfaction when you stop it and you circle the mark and the chair comes down and they're like, yeah, you're right, it's out. But you kind of know as they're looking at the mark, depending on how they come up, you know if they're about to fight with you or if they're about to say that you're right and there's something nostalgic about being like, all right, we get to fight.

[D]

Like that human interaction.

[B]

No, you're so right. To feel like you've been wronged and nothing's your fault is needed at least like once during a match to just be like, the universe is against me and you hate me for some reason.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

Sometimes it's nice. And I feel like we've taken so much of like that interaction away. Like the chair kind of just like sits there now. I know it's kind of nice sometimes to just occasionally get to fight.

[B]

I do have to say watching the professional level too. You guys are mentally so level headed and like, I didn't consider myself crazy on the court, but like, I was a crier and I don't cry. I don't cry in any situation. But like, the fact you guys aren't cr. I would cry. Like I'd be losing and start crying and then start winning. But you're still crying. So you're like, so you're hitting a winner but you're still like out of your. Like, I loved crying, but I never cry in anything else in my life. I'm not a crier except on the 10. It's almost like I culled it all in and let it out on the tennis court. Like, really kudos to you for not crying more.

[C]

You, like, get like glassy eyed and

[B]

then you're like, I can't see. Wait. But after I lose the first set, you know, I'm going to the bathroom to cry. I go to the bathroom, I look at myself in the mirror and I go, what the fuck are you doing, you stupid bitch? And then I go back outside and then I'll calm down. Like, I loved losing the first set, like 61 and then winning the next set. That was like my thing. It wasn't sustainable long term, but that was.

[C]

That sounds toxic. No.

[B]

Oh my God. It's like therapeutic for me to tell you guys. People have, like have their together with tennis, all the stuff that I was battling. It's really nice. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Let it out, put it out. Yeah. Do you have a favorite player on tour or if they're retired? So you guys, besides Us.

[D]

Yeah, we already know that.

[B]

But, like, actually, though, no, actually, can I just go through each one of you. Okay. And shout out to DEZ for literally crushing it. And, like, I love doubles, too, and I love watching her, and she's just like, the hands are insane. Where do I begin? Okay, Jenny, you're taking over. Okay? You're taking over.

[E]

I'm.

[B]

We're in recovery right now. But your forehand. It's the nastiest thing I've ever seen. It's the nastiest thing I've ever seen. Don't look at me like that. You're taking over and I'm obsessed with you, and we all know that you're that girl. Okay, moving on. Jess, you're a freak. You're a freak. The heaviness of your flat ball is insane and should be illegal. And your mentally, it's weird. Okay? Nothing can affect you. You are the most solid mother. Madison. Madison. Don't get me started on you. Well, why does freak come to. The word comes to me again. But the way you. The power and the chaos that you can put into a serve and a forehand and a backhand and put it all together is insane, and it should be illegal. You're all insane and incredible and also even the best podcast. And those are my two favorite things, podcasting and tennis. So I root for you guys, but I like Alcaraz too. Let's just throw him in the mix.

[E]

So it's like us and then Carlos.

[B]

And Carlos, he's fun to watch sometime, but I'm like, I love women's tennis. I think it's so much more interesting to watch.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I don't. Honestly, I don't like watching knowing, like, after one break, this set is over.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

You want the drama.

[B]

I want the drama.

[E]

And.

[B]

But yeah, watching you guys is so much fun for me.

[C]

Well, thanks.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And we love watching you.

[B]

It's hard to be, like, a fan when, like, we're co workers, you know? So I don't really have, like, a favorite. It's more like just watching my community, obviously.

[E]

Just like watching all of your friends supporting. Supporting your friends.

[B]

Exactly. Because I'm a girls girl.

[C]

Do you have a favorite commentator? Announcer?

[B]

So obviously all the classics, they're all amazing. But I am obsessed with, like, the former players commenting. Like Coco. I. First of all, she's. I think she's such a natural. And I love. And Jeannie and Sloane, I love hearing their specific experiences. Like, they're like, yeah, when I played her, she was really Good at drop shotting. Or like, when I played her, she would, like, that's the specific stuff that you can't get from people just watching and commenting on what they see. So I love that, like, little extra gossip of what's going on.

[C]

Extra tea.

[B]

Yeah. You know, the vibes from playing someone. And that's what. Okay, Caroline was nyacking. And I feel like they're honest. Like, they'll be like, yeah, this is when she normally starts to get in her head. I'm like, I do feel like with

[D]

some of them, they. Yeah, they'll be like, super bluntly honest.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

I think it's really funny.

[B]

Yeah, it is really funny. And that's what I want to hear. But also, it's. I think. Oh, also, Andrea Petkovich is so good. I feel like she's such a petco.

[D]

Petko's awesome and she has a naturally

[B]

calming voice to listen to. But it is also so fun to commentate because you're not in it. So it's so easy. It's like when your friend's going through a breakup and you're like, he's. He's out there. Don't worry. Stay calm. Like, it's so easy to talk when you're not on the court. So obvious. Like, yeah, hit the back end, down the line. Yeah, I would if it was that easy.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So college tennis players right now are having some success on tour. What was your Wisconsin tennis experience like?

[B]

Oh, my God, it was crazy. I feel like with college tennis, it's a new dynamic of a team pressure that you don't normally have, because when you're playing, like, it's not just you who messes up. You mess up for the whole team. And then also during the week when you're practicing, you're competing for your spot. So I actually felt like they give you like a schedule in the beginning of the year, and you have all your matches and all your practice and you don't have a lot of teams would be like, we. We compete in the spring. We compete in the spring and the fall. And it was individual tournaments, and then it would be team tournaments. So it was. It was an insane schedule. We also got the worst workout times. Like, men's basketball would roll in at like 9am where, like, women's tennis, we got like the 6am slot for the gym. So, like, we were being tortured and it was really, really hard. And it's the kind of thing too, where you can't. Yeah, you can't call timeout, pass the ball, like I just remember feeling like there wasn't a. For me. There wasn't a day where I could just, like, work on stuff because I was. I played, like, top of the team, and I always felt like I was defending my spot, and there wasn't a lot of, like, moments where I could be a little like. Like, you can't relax on practice or during the match because your. Your coach is always kind of, like, comparing you guys to be like, where should we put you? But that was also, like, the dynamic of my team, I guess. But it was def. I definitely am bonded with my teammates, like, forever. Like, to this day, they come to see my. My comedy shows, and, like, they really feel like family. And it's beautiful. But also, I was pretty. Like, I loved yelling. Like, I loved, like, come on. Like, I loved, like, at a 15k in Colombia being like, vamos. And everyone like me. Like, I actually, I was not meant for the pro tour because. No, Like, I. No, like, no, no, no, no, no. I would have just. Like, I was. I also think I. I was the teammate, though. Like, I'm cracking jokes. I'm trying to make people laugh. My coach is like, if you laugh one more time, you're doing laps, and then I accidentally laugh, and then I'm doing laughs. Like, I was causing chaos. And it, like, look at, like, Jesse on the court, I was the opposite. So that was. There were reasons why I. No, I would have been crazy.

[C]

I was a little bit like that. Like, you in college, too.

[B]

Yeah, I forgot.

[C]

Did you? Yeah. Me and DEZ are both.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

College players here out of the four of us. But did you ever. I mean, I'm sure you have, but like, a match where. Or your first match where you were the one. Like, you were the last match and you had to clinch it to win.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, the pressure that you feel is like.

[B]

Yeah. Like, it's. I mean, I could explain, like, when you're playing doubles, when you double fault, how bad you feel for your partner. But. But this is like. And everyone's watching. They're all watching. I like, though, like, if my match was going well or going bad, focusing on the match next to you. Cause you're like, okay, if I'm not getting the point, the girl next to me better. So I'd be, like, looking at my teammate. You could, like, look at each other and you'd be like, get it together. You got this. You can do this, Fungus. You got this. Come on. So, like, if you're. If your teammate won a point, you could yell across and be like, let's go, Maddie. Like, it was, like, fun. Like, and I would get crazy. Like, I could bring the energy, even though I was, like, tanking on my court. Like, I was fully. I'd be fully. Yeah, like, succumbing to all the pressure, but then be like, come on, number five.

[E]

You got this.

[B]

Go, Badgers. So I was good energy. I was good energy. I definitely had, like, people asking about comedy, and they're like, how do you deal with the pressure of, like, performing in front of lots people of people? And I'm like, I've done, like, third set, tiebreak against Duke, second serve, bottom of the net. Like, I've experienced darkness. I know failure, and that's why I think I'm not scared of anything. I'm like, what's more embarrassing than that? What's more embarrassing?

[E]

So true, though. Like, you've looked death in the eyes. It's fine.

[B]

I can survive anything. Like, to that extent.

[D]

Like, you've literally tanked and blew it in front of, like, all of your teammates, your coaches, or for us, like, in a stadium full of people, you have, like, literally laid an egg. Like, whatever term you want to call it.

[B]

Like, this cheap beach chair.

[D]

Yes, there you go. Just exactly. You've experienced really bad things. But I will say I watched. I watched Comedians in Cars getting coffee talking about, like, comedy and pressure, and it was the first show where I really. I felt like they give an insight of. To, like, what a comedian's life is, and just, like, you know, Jerry Seinfeld or whatever, talking about how he's like, you have to stand up in front of people and make them laugh. It's one of the hardest things to do. Like, in his mind, like, how much pressure that is. And I had never really kind of thought about it like that. And just, like, feeling the crowd and then kind of dictating. He's like. You know, usually when you tell a joke, you're not even, like, you're thinking about what's already, like, two or three steps ahead to, like, keep this story going or keep the joke going. And, like, seeing how the audience reacts. And you're trying to plan all this. And he's like, there's just nothing worse. Except maybe you. You, like when people don't laugh.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Like, there's kind of, like, no other feeling than, like, standing up in front of a crowd and just being bombing. And then you're like, where do I go from here? Like, that's also a lot of pressure in that sense. And I never really realized it until I watched that show. So I do think what you do is very hard and very scary. But I'm glad that tennis prepped you for it.

[B]

I'm not saying that all of you guys are about to be stand ups after this, but there's a crazy correlation between stand up comedy and tennis. Because if you think about it, you're traveling alone, you're going to hotels on the weekend, you're performing in front of people at night, you're battling your own demons. There's variables of the crowd. Like, it weirdly was so similar to tennis for me. And that's why I think once I started I felt like, oh, I know how to do this. Except I was a lot kinder to myself with comedy than tennis. Like, tennis, I really put a lot of pressure on myself. Like from 7 years old I was like, if I don't win a grand Slam, I'm worthless at 7 years old. And you're like, you literally don't know how to serve yet. So I was. And like, there's people, you know, they're, they're paying for lessons. There's so much pressure. Obviously you guys understand this. So when I started comedy, I was like, I'm gonna approach this as like, the second I stop having fun, I'm gonna stop doing it. When I make a mistake, I'm gonna be like nice to myself and be like, that was a learning experience. So I almost like re parented and re coached myself in comedy where I feel like cuz I had such a tough time with tennis and pressure with comedy, I'm like, I'm not gonna do that to myself again. And also you don't. When I get off the stage, you don't lose. Like, tennis is like, you're a loser. Like, I had it. You have to sit with that. Like you can't like lie to people and be like, oh, the audience was tired. No, you lost, babe, you're a loser. So when I feel like comedy, I'm like, comedy's an artist. Like I'm just being an artist and I thankfully, like, I'm kind of a natural at it where I just, I love creating good energy and it was more natural for me. But tennis, wherever I had some like, mental problems, I realized now that whatever was, I was struggling with, like, it's just your brain being powerful and sometimes you use it for good or evil. Do you guys.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Ever feel that?

[D]

Yeah, like every.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, every day.

[D]

I think everything you're hitting is like saying is spot on. Yeah, you're Hitting? Yeah, you're hitting all the points. I think we can relate to all that.

[E]

There's something about walking onto a tennis court where it's like everything you've been trying to avoid and not think about or acknowledge, all of a sudden, the moment you start hitting, it's like all of the thoughts start hitting you. And then you hit a forehand into the bottom of the net, and you freak out and you're like, okay, that had nothing to do with the forehand that I just missed.

[B]

Well, tennis is so honest. You can't hide, you can't bullshit, you can't lie. Where it's comedy, you can. Comedy. If I forget part of my joke, I'm like, these don't know what the bit is. I'm going through it. Like, so to me, comedy's so fun. Where tennis, like, literally, you could lie to yourself and be like, I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. And if you don't believe it in your core, you're so right, it comes out. But that's why tennis is so, so beautiful. And as someone who wasn't able to watch tennis for a lot of years because I was like, I don't. I'm traumatized by it. I feel like a failure with it. I've now come full circle to be like, what a beautiful expression of, like, challenging ourselves mentally, like, 90% and physically. So I just admire you guys so much because I know the insane things you have to go through to be so great at what you do.

[D]

Wow, thanks.

[B]

And I know you guys are in the thick of it right now. I just want to give you some positivity. You're like, we've had a long week.

[C]

It's only Monday.

[B]

I think that's such a cool Monday.

[D]

Yeah, I think that's such a cool way to see it. I'm glad that it helped you in the next phase of your life. Like, that's so cool that you, like, you said you kind of took all the learning experience experiences and made into a more healthy, positive way for something like, you, like, really love, and now you can come back to tennis and you enjoy it again. I think that's. Yeah, that's really cool.

[B]

And I talk to a lot of former tennis players who, whether they just graduated college or they were pro and then they got injured and they'll reach out to me, and I always. A lot of them are nervous because tennis is all, you know. But I always say, like, whatever made you great in tennis, you can apply to literally anything. And you're not starting from scratch. Cuz I always felt like oh my God, how can I do something when people have been studying fashion design or studying comedy since they were little? But what we've put into tennis is so applicable to so many things. So I girls going to sports. It actually does help everything.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

Love that.

[E]

Love that.

[C]

Great. Well said.

[E]

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[C]

Since we here at the players box give a behind the scenes look at life on tour, Is there any behind the scenes or insider scoop that viewers or fans would be interested in to hear about either transitioning from reality TV to comedy or about filming a special?

[B]

Oh, my God. Well, first, shout out. Madison, thank you for the justice for Hannah video. Made my life my queen. But people were messaging me and they were like, the world's colliding is so crazy on this. And I felt like everything I've done in my life came to that moment and I was like, madison, Keith knows. She knows what's going on. It was amazing. I do think, like, what I was saying is you have to kind of learn from all the different situations you put yourself in. It's the same with tennis. Like, when you have a bad loss or you. You have an experience where you didn't feel like you could be yourself. It's just like deciding, do I be sad about this? Do I play the victim? Do I say, woe is me? Or do I reframe this as, like, motivation? And I do think I approach comedy the way I approach sports, where I'm, like, I'm diligent. Like, when I'm on the road, I'm drinking my Gatorade, I'm tapping my water, I'm taking naps, I'm not partying. And when I see, like, people who don't believe in me, it fires me up. Like, I don't read the comments. Like, I literally treat it like I'm a professional athlete. And. And that's why I think, like, when I see you guys winning on the court, I'm like, yes, yes. But it's. It's like the same way. Like, I'm just listening to music to motivate me. Like, you either can decide to feel sad when things go wrong or, like, past careers you get fired from, or you take it as motivation. And it's. It's the same thing as after a loss. I feel like, yeah, sometimes you play

[D]

the victim for like a day.

[B]

Yeah, no, no.

[D]

For like half a day.

[B]

Or you blame the ump and ump's Like, I'm not even involved in this match.

[D]

You're just. You blame the elc. It's wrong because it is wrong for sure. Yeah.

[E]

You finished the match. And it's like that break point that I had, the call was Wrong. And that's why I actually lost the match. And that's how I'm gonna be able to fall asleep tonight.

[B]

No, I was really bad at that, though. I was bad at, like, when there was a net cord or, like, a bad call, I couldn't move on, which now I realize that I'm a mature human. I'm like, if you moved on, like, it would have been fine. But I was so obsessed with, like, justice and, like, righteousness, and I was like, the universe. How could this happen? But now I realize, like, it's. It's like the universe testing you to be like, this is a long match. You're not defined by this one call. So the maturity of your mind is so impressive that you guys deal with and shout out to Jenny. Like, dealing with injuries and stuff, that's mental. And, like, every day, getting up and being like, I see the big picture here. So shout out to Jenny.

[C]

Thanks. No, seriously, thank you. That means a lot.

[E]

Jenny. Jenny gets. Jenny gets a little uncomfortable when we give her her roses and we talk about how much. How amazing she is.

[B]

No, she's so amazing.

[C]

I get a little emotional, too.

[B]

No, I know. It's. It's intense.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It's hard.

[B]

And we just saw Haley not to.

[E]

I know. Yeah.

[D]

Do you know Haley?

[B]

So I'm friends of. Friends of Haley. So we DM. Look, I'm. I'm in the DMs, you guys. Don't worry. Haley got a nice message from me. Don't worry.

[D]

Yeah, it's such a heart. It's just. It's so hard. I mean, even this last French Open, just, like, all of the story lines on the men's and the women's side, you're just like, this sport is nuts. It's just crazy.

[B]

Well, I love that you said the word storyline, too, because as you guys, I'm the elder in the group right now, and I've experienced a lot. Your storyline is something that, like, you can tell yourself that can make or break things. And, like, if your storyline with your tennis is like. I mean, even look at Zverev, like, him being like, I'm. I'm the guy that never was able, but that chokes all the time in finals. Like, it. You can believe it or you cannot. So, like, your storyline is just what you make up in your head. You could believe a tweet or you can believe what's in your head. And I think Madison's a great example, too. Like, change that storyline, babe. You could change it any day. Wait, why am I literally Robbins right now.

[D]

Some sort of, like, therapy session. I think you're a motivational speaker and you're an after comedy. I think you should go into motivational speaking because I. I know how to Brad practice yesterday. I'm ready to get back out there.

[B]

No, we're all winning tomorrow. Okay. We're all winning.

[E]

Should I be taking notes for, like. Okay, so Hannah said if I changed my storyline.

[B]

Message me if you. But it's true. Like, you start believing the story you tell yourself, and then you. Sometimes you'll talk to someone else, and that's why it's good to have friends around you, because I'll tell friends something, and they're like, that's not what people think of you at all. And I'm like, oh, I made that up. And I've been believing it, but I think I. I come from a family of coaches. Like, my grandpa was, like, a basketball coach in Brooklyn. And I don't know. I feel like talking to you guys, I'm like, I gotta just tell them all the positivity I could think of before Wimbledon. So then I take full credit. Jess. Any match you win, I'm like, well, she's my devil's partner.

[D]

Yeah. And I'm also her psychologist, and I gave her great advice.

[C]

Yeah. Wow.

[D]

And that's why she won't. Seriously. I'm like, wow, I'm ready to run through a wall right now.

[E]

That makes me so happy.

[D]

Not what I was expecting, but you

[B]

guys are in it right now. Like, it's so easy to just kind of. It's such a. Oh, my God. A rough. You guys don't get a break. So it's so easy to just kind of get stuck in certain thoughts.

[D]

And I think we. We just said this the other. Or like, last week that we. What you were saying before is that we. We tend to give each other better advice than we tend to tell ourselves.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And I'm like, oh, wow. Like, that's great. I think that's what I told you last week. But thanks for telling me again, because I needed to hear.

[B]

Is also so cool that you guys have developed such good friendships on tour, because it's actually not that serious. Like, I feel like we would demonize, like, other girls we'd play against. It's so funny because we were, like, 12, but it's actually. This is probably going to elongate your career. Like, having camaraderie.

[D]

Yeah, I think so. And a healthier life after, because I know that's also not an easy transition.

[B]

Exactly. Exactly.

[E]

Okay, well, to keep the giggles going, Hannah, you obviously have a podcast with Paige called Giggly Squad, and we want to see how well everyone can keep a straight face without giggling. So Des is actually going to pop on and join us because her match was canceled, so she's coming in, but our producer is going to send some scenarios that we haven't seen, and we have to be able to read it with a straight face. And Jess is going to go first.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

I, like, Jess is so good at this. She's never smiled.

[D]

This one isn't even like that.

[C]

I make her smile.

[D]

I actually tend to laugh in people's faces a lot. It's like. But, like, when it comes to myself, I'm very, like, deadpanned. Okay, I'll go. Hi, Des. I got kicked out of a silent retreat for excessive eye contact.

[E]

Okay, you nailed that one.

[D]

Yeah. That wasn't even, like. I'm a little kind of disappointed in that one. I wanted something harder.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Okay. Does.

[F]

You're up, redwood tree it ain't hard to see his love was the key that opened my thighs Is more poetic than anything Emily Dickinson could write.

[D]

What?

[B]

You guys don't. What do you mean I lost?

[E]

The entire time you said it, I

[B]

literally was like, wait, these are lyrics. You guys know this is from, right? Yeah, we didn't.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. We didn't know what we were going to read. So that's funny that you just realized it.

[E]

Cheese, Jenny. Let's see how Jenny does.

[D]

Oh, God.

[C]

If you like the product, please tell them we sent you. Now available in Canada.

[B]

Okay, that one got you dot com.

[D]

You have to tell Hannah the story behind.

[C]

Okay, so we have. Okay, that was a good one.

[D]

So that was a good one.

[C]

All you have to do is just give me the ad reads in capital. So we were doing ad reads, and on the ad read, it was the word please was in capital letters. So when I was reading it, I said please, and I, like, changed my tone. And then when I was, like, now available in Canada, there was comma, two. Like, had a long pause, and then it was dot co instead of dot com. And so by the third dot co, I was like, dot co. And then I was like, wait, I think there's a typo. I think it's supposed to be dot com. And they're like, no, it's dot co. So that was the last time that I did the call to actions.

[B]

Jenny, how are you so serious on the court?

[D]

I feel like Hannah would also appreciate your. What was the meltdown in Nottingham on the hardcore. I just keep.

[E]

I just keep picturing.

[C]

Oh, my God. So Christy. Christy went through the archives and she was watching. No, she found my match. So it was grass court tournament rain the whole time. We played on indoor hard courts. And I had a full melt during this match and that this was when we still had lions, people. And the lines person, I'm at the net, girl hits a passing shot, the lines person goes out and I'm like, come on. And then she goes, correction, ball was good. And I was like, no, you cannot correct yourself.

[B]

The ball was out.

[C]

And I literally was like talking to the chair umpire and I was like, these people are terrible. And then I'm literally just like leaning over the net and I just drop my racket and I'm like. And I'm just like socking, like. And like, the racket just like falls out of my hand and I'm just like leaning over the net.

[D]

It was so dramatic.

[C]

It was just so dramatic.

[D]

No, that's so dramatic.

[B]

I feel like when I was in juniors, my parents were very about, don't ever throw your racket. And I, like, never did. But then once I got to college, I was like, my parents aren't around. I was like, crazy. Like, I threw my rackets in the garbage once.

[D]

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

[B]

And my coach was not happy, but I was like, these rackets don't work. So

[D]

that's all. Yeah, Jenny is. I guess. I guess you do look kind of serious. But then, like, when you hear about these funny meltdowns, it's. It like changes your.

[E]

Who do you perception.

[B]

Maybe throwing the racket here. Not to put. Not to pit.

[F]

What I was gonna say I did just throw my racket.

[C]

Really? I would say me. And not that I want to take it as like a better than you at throwing my racket, but, like, if I throw it, it's smashed in pieces.

[B]

I hate when it's a bad break. Like, it wasn't even worth it. And it's like a little crack.

[E]

And you're like, there's nothing worse than when you just kind of like bounce it and you hear it crack and you're like, seriously?

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

It's like.

[D]

You're like, I want to break it.

[E]

I really want to break it. I was just supposed to be a little innocent. Yeah, that's back into my hand.

[B]

Yeah, it could have been cute. Sometimes it's cute.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. No, that's like having one drink and getting hungover. You're like, that was not worth it.

[E]

Exactly.

[D]

Okay, we're gonna move on to the next segment called none of My Business, which is the name of your comedy special. So let's find out what you consider your business. None of your business. Slightly your business. Or you're getting involved to get more information. So I'm gonna read off a couple things, and you guys can decide. Your neighbor's package comes to your house, and you accidentally opened it, and it's 200 eye patches. Hannah, go ahead.

[B]

Honestly, like, I have enough stuff going on in my own life. I'm like, none of my business. Like, I can't deal with this right now, but I will probably tell my husband. I'm like, is this great? Should we. Is this crazy? And then I'm like, I don't want to get involved. I'm in this, like, healing time. We're like, if I hear crazy information about people, normally I would, like, run to, like, tell the person. And now I'm like, what if I just shut up? This is, like, mid-30s. This is what I've been up to.

[D]

So you wouldn't. You would just. Whatever. You're not dealing with it.

[B]

I would just be like, I actually. Like, I have a pirate next door. Whatever, Maddie.

[E]

I would just. I mean, I would be the same. Like, this is. This is actually insane, but also, I don't think I want to know what's.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

I don't. I don't want to know. I don't want to know what's happening.

[D]

I agree.

[F]

Yeah. None of my business either.

[D]

Yeah. Slightly concerned, but none of my business. Next one. Your co worker says we can never talk about Wednesday with no other context.

[B]

No, we're having a meeting over that.

[E]

Yeah. What?

[D]

That's my business.

[B]

I'm putting that in the calendar to talk through whatever the hell that was.

[D]

Yes, that one.

[E]

Yeah. I would like to discuss it so that we can then not discuss it anymore. But, like, what hap. What happens?

[C]

I think it depends. I'd be like, eh.

[D]

Or I do feel like Jenny would be like, oh, okay. And then, like, move on for dinner. Yeah.

[B]

Like, wait, how often are you guys in the locker room? And, like, you're obviously whispering about whatever's going on that day, and then, like, someone comes in, and you're just both like.

[D]

I think that happens quite often.

[E]

Free time.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Who's here? Can we talk about this?

[F]

You definitely have to check your surroundings for sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Or make sure no one's around you.

[E]

Or, like, in the locker rooms, we'll always have the T. We'll have a bunch of TVs so you can see what's going on in the matches and whatever. So sometimes if it's a big match and a big upset, you're watching it and everyone, obviously, in the locker room is living and dying. And then that person comes in and everyone's like, don't move.

[B]

Wait, that's also. Now they. They have cameras at the Grand Slams and stuff everywhere.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Every. You gotta be careful. That's. You guys. That's the closest to reality tv. Like, you're living Big Brother.

[F]

It's literally Big Brother.

[E]

Say that we're like, what is reality show?

[B]

To each other.

[D]

No.

[F]

The only privacy is in the locker room.

[E]

Really?

[D]

Yeah, barely. Okay. Your friend's boyfriend has started bringing a kazoo everywhere and plays it when the food arrives at the table.

[F]

Okay, what's a kazoo?

[C]

What's a cat?

[D]

Wait, how do I say it?

[B]

Oh, God, I'm so glad it's not me. Use it in a sentence.

[E]

You said it right.

[D]

Makes the noise right?

[C]

What is it?

[D]

Did I say it right? A kazoo.

[E]

You said it right.

[D]

Yeah, it's the. I meant to Google, like, make the. I don't even. It's like an accordion whistle sound. You, like, blow it. I cannot recreate that noise. Kazoo is like a. I don't know how to explain it.

[E]

It's like a. The kazoo. It's like the plastic one that has, like, a white thing on top, and it makes an insane noise. And if my boy. If my friend's boyfriend carried it around at all, but then played it inside of a restaurant, I would be like, it wouldn't even be my business. It would be snatched and then thrown. Yes,

[C]

I think I would join in.

[B]

Where'd you get that?

[C]

Let's do it together.

[D]

Okay. Your friend wants a tattoo in a language that they don't speak.

[B]

That is so tennis coded.

[D]

Like, I was, like, 18.

[B]

I was, like, obsessed with saying come on or curse in other languages when I was playing. Like, if you said, come on in English, I'm like, okay, so you don't play internationally. Vamos.

[D]

Would you get that tattooed on yourself?

[B]

That's crazy. But if I was in a dark time, maybe. Wait, Jess, what's your tattoo?

[D]

It says, I will either find a way or make one. But it's in Latin because it, like, the story was originally in Latin, so I just kept it because I was 18 and I thought it was cool.

[B]

She's giving credit to the source.

[E]

She's also just really loved Shakespeare, so that makes sense.

[D]

That's true.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Shout out Shakespeare.

[B]

Love your work. Love his work.

[F]

I was going to give a Taylor Swift analogy to that too, but I

[C]

guess they're not even.

[D]

Des once said that Taylor Swift, I

[F]

don't know if she was a lyrical genius.

[D]

She said she was a lyrical genius, and I said, what? Like, we need, like, Shakespeare's a, like, lyrical genius. And so then, like, people listened that obviously hate me because I'm not, like, a super Taylor Swift fan. And they're like, Shakespeare just doesn't even read Shakespeare. Like, okay, just everyone relax. So it became kind of a joke that I'm a Shakespeare, Stan. But okay, last one. Someone is running barefoot through. Barefoot through an airport. Ew.

[C]

Ew.

[D]

None of my business.

[E]

That's none of my business.

[B]

You do you. But also, if you're running late, like, not to defend the person, but once after a show, I had to jump on a plane to get to the next show, and I was wearing my heeled boots, and I was just running in my high heeled boots, and I was like, if I just took this off, would that be crazy? Oh, you guys, the best part about retiring is you never have to run a time mile again.

[F]

I don't even do that anyway.

[C]

I haven't done that since college.

[B]

Yeah, that was a college.

[D]

I think that's a college thing.

[B]

It was also. That's not even. Tennis players don't even need that. We're like, quick. We're not long distance runners.

[C]

No.

[E]

So anyways, yeah, Yeah, I like to do like, I was telling everyone. I was like, I'm like, running miles. But by that I meant I was doing exactly one and a half miles. I was like, so this week I've ripped miles. Meanwhile, it was like three miles over the course of, like, seven days.

[B]

But you have long legs, so I feel like you're prancing.

[E]

Yes. I think my problem is, is that I haven't actually figured out how to run more than a mile. So I run it so fast. If in my head, I'm like, I'm gonna go for a three mile run. I'm going like, I'm starting at like a six and a half mile pace. And then I'm like, no, I'm actually dying and I need to stop immediately.

[B]

What about short spurts? Short spurts?

[E]

Exactly.

[B]

Side steps. Yes, that's it.

[F]

Okay, we're gonna go into our. Who am I? So for my clues from last week, my clues were, my best friend is a grand slam champion. I have seven titles. Although I'm not being Specific at which level? And I have called myself dorky in an interview. Did anyone get it right?

[D]

I didn't try to guess. I didn't like the clues and I gave no effort to be honest.

[E]

You were.

[D]

You were over my riddle.

[C]

I'll write it in the chat.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

After Hannah guesses

[D]

clues.

[E]

No, we already.

[B]

She was like, why does Des always

[F]

have these funny clues about goofy and like the dog's name is floofy and

[D]

yeah, there was just been some weird clues that I don't know. I don't like them.

[F]

I didn't come up with the clues, so. Okay, well, my person was Maya Valinska.

[C]

Oh,

[D]

yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

She was literally on court, I think when you came up with that one.

[E]

Literally.

[B]

Exactly.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Okay. So Hannah, do you have your clues?

[B]

Okay, this one's kind of crazy. She's excited. I'm excited. I can overheat if I don't have enough water. I'm in a lot of tiktoks. Tiktoks. I'm spoiled.

[C]

Those are it.

[E]

All I got was I can overheat.

[D]

I'm spoiled.

[F]

Tiktoks.

[C]

I'm in a lot.

[D]

I'm gonna guess in the chat.

[C]

Well, thanks Hannah so much for joining us today. Please leave us a rating and review. It helps people find out about the podcast. Don't forget to watch us all on the players box YouTube page and send us fan questions or low stakes advice to our email or DMS on Instagram. You can also sign up on Patreon for ad free listening every week and even more behind the scenes of the group chat.

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[D]

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