B (11:03)
Okay, Jackson, you are right. This is an iconic story. This is like, I'm an intolerable person. Is that good? Is that gonna work to all you, like, just solely audio listeners out there? I can't tell if that's, like, good or bad, the lighting situation. I just know that, like, this is, like, the story that I want to tell. I'm blinded by the way I, like, looked at it. Oh, that's kind of, like, hauntingly beautiful in a way. That's terrible. All right, so you are right on a few things. This is not a figure skating podcast, but it is a podcast where I do share stories. I'm trying to position the mic in a way in which I feel like I can tell this story best, and I think I found it. Okay, so. Okay. I'm really, like, processing how to begin. I need one more sip of the cherry limeade. I want to be thrown into fucking space. It's so good. It really is. All right, so I'm well lit. I'm well hydrated. My flight is in about 30 minutes, but I've got all the time in the world. I'm gonna tell you the story of how I did sing in front of a sold out arena. Okay. But first, I need to back up. We are asking for some backstory, and I'm going to make this, like, a palatable story for people who know me from skating, who would know what Jackson is talking about, and for people who have no idea what the fuck they're in for. So I used to skate. Yeah, it was my. No, my tongue's not red. I just want you to know, like, the water I'm drinking is basically, it's just red. 40 with some Splenda in it. Okay? So I'm going to take you back to the year 2017. Buckle up. So it's the year 2017. The Olympics are in a few months. Okay. I know that when people watch the Olympics on tv, it's the first time that they're, like, ever watching skating in some scenarios, right? It's like the first time that they're ever seeing you specifically. And so I knew that I wanted to fucking gag them to death. I wanted people to die when they saw me. I wanted to pull a stunt. And that stunt was, I thought. And listen, like, I'm all about a fucking stunt. I'm all about a fucking, you know, gag, okay? And in skating, in a sport where you're, like, judged, I feel like you have the opportunity to create a narrative around yourself, not unlike how I try to create a narrative around myself currently or all the time. So the narrative I wanted to create around myself was that Adam is. And I had not qualified for the Olympics at this point. This is in, like, the lead up to. These are the last few months before, where it's like, these are. You're going to do everything you can to, like, make a case for yourself. And I was, you know, I was training hard. I was, like, in amazing shape. I was incredibly focused. All of that aside, one of the narratives I was going to push about myself was that I was just too famous to be let off of the Olympic team. And I was just gonna, like, pull out all the stops. I was going to be in the best shape of my life. I was going to be the most well trained I've ever been. Yeah, okay, we know that. Like. Like I said, all of that aside, I was going to be too famous to be let off of the team. I want you to know I'm filming this, and I can see my own reflection. And I got scared by looking at my own eyes. So one of those things that I wanted to do, and I'm going to take it back a little bit because in all seriousness, I just wanted to create a narrative of, like, wow, he's, like, so involved in, like, what he's doing, and he's, like, really passionate. Okay. And too famous to be let off of the team. They can't. They can't let him off because he's too famous. Which I want you to know, nobody was a fan of me pushing this narrative except for me, because I am my own biggest fan. So I decided, and I'll even take it back a little further. I skated in. In an ice show. Like, not a competition, like a play, like a show where you go, all the lights are off and there's just spotlights. And I skated this version of Diamonds by Rihanna. Rihanna. I don't know how she prefers to be referred to. I think it's Rihanna, which I don't like, but I respect. So it was this cover of Diamonds and I really wanted to find a different version of it to use it not as a program to be used in a show, but to use it as a short program that I could potentially skate at the Olympics. And there was just something about the version where I was like, I want to find something a little bit more special or upbeat or, you know, when you're trying to find music for a program, you really want to, like, connect to it. And I just had this, like, feeling that what if I sang it myself? And I said this to a friend of mine, like, is what if I sang it? Because I'm like, that's a show stopping moment. Like, oh, you sang your own music. Like, this had not been done before. Okay, probably for good reason, but it didn't stop me or deter me. Now, am I a singer by trade? No. But I can hold a note here or there, right? And I'm not, like, kidding myself that I'm Kamiko Glenn or I'm Ben Platt or even Whitney Houston herself. I'm not saying that, but I'm saying the voice is a muscle. And as long as you work it out, it will all work out. And so I'm not saying that I have, like, the best voice ever, but that didn't matter. I have a fine voice. I have a good voice. I can hold a tune, right? It's like, fine. And that's me being quiet. Imagine me going, like, full belt. I'm just saying now, again, I'm not. I'm not kidding myself. Like, I'm going to get a record deal. Okay. I don't. It's. No. But I can sing well enough to pull off a gag. I can sing well enough to make them go, what? Right? So that's all I needed to do. And so I told this to my friend. I think I can sing it. And so they introduced me to someone who had, like, access to a recording studio. And so I went into the studio over the course of like, two or three days, and we made this version of Diamonds by Rihanna. Okay, Anna. Excuse me. And so I didn't tell anybody that I was doing this. They just knew that I was, like, choreographing a new Short program. And so I go into the rink and I skated, and nobody really says anything until, like, one of my friends who I train with was like, are you singing that? And I, you know, I'm playing coy. Yes, I am. And then it was a buzz throughout the rink. My plan was working. Fame was upon me. Fame was imminent. Okay? Too famous to be denied. Now, as I was, like, practicing this program, my coach was like, you know what? And I had skated. So I. So in last week's episode, I talked about this, like, one caller who had called in who did actually leave another voicemail, and I'll play it after because I forgot. I couldn't find. I couldn't find the voicemail that they left first. So we had a caller last week saying that one of the names that I should have named the show is Let me think about it, which is the program that I had skated the season before 2016. Okay. And that's like a club song. I decor some Danish singer, and my coach was like, I actually think that I like that piece of music better. And I said, okay, you know what? Fair enough. I'll skate to that piece of music and not to my own singing. Because the club music, like, at the time, in 2017, this is, like, revolutionary. Okay? Nobody's doing this. I'm just. I'm being honest. Nobody was doing it. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm not saying it's good or bad. I'm just telling you what was happening. And that wasn't happening, but I was happening. God, sometimes I think about, like, me of just a few years ago. Am I still just as nuts? I think probably so. Just to kind of, like, bring this story up to speed so we all know where we are, I have recorded Diamonds, a cover of Diamonds in the recording studio. I was going to skate it as a competitive short program. My coach says, I actually like the club music that you skated to last year better. I think that's like a better, more upbeat vibe. Vibe. So he says, let's go with that one. And I go, okay, you know what? You're right. Let's do that. Because I think that the club kind of theme for a program, like, at the time, it's just as like, whoa, what's going on? Show stopping as the singing may be, because the singing, it's like a gag that will, like, wear off, because then it's. As soon as they know, like, that I'm singing, then it's just a song at the end of the day, right? Like, it's not anything crazier than that. Okay, so now you know that. Now you know where we stand. So now we have to take, like, a little sidestep. And I really hope that everybody's, like, keeping up. So I'm going to tell you a little bit about, like, when you go to these competitions. So our caller was talking about you were at a Grand Prix. What is a Grand Prix? So these are, like, the major international competitions that you can get invited to. And they are, like, in the lead up to choosing an Olympic team. And this is where you'll compete against basically, like, the best skaters in the world, okay? And if you do well at these Grand Prixs, you'll be asked to skate in an exhibition. And an exhibition is just an ice show that happens after the competition. So it's like, you can skate to, like, whatever you want. You can do whatever you want. But the caveat is that you have to skate in the show or you won't get the prize money for how you placed in the competition. Okay? It's, like, your obligation to skate in this show. And in some countries, like, the competition will, like, sell, okay? And then the exhibition will be, like, sold out. Like, the ice show part of it. And it's like a. It's a privilege. It's like an honor to skate in these shows. But the adrenaline from the competition, it's, like, so, like. And you can feel so exhausted at these shows that you have to be really careful that, like, you don't hurt yourself. And in the lead up to that Olympic year, I had broken my foot one year, like, exactly one year before they would announce the team. So they announced the team, like, January something. And on the same day, one year earlier, I had broken my foot. And so I was, like, recovering from that, and I didn't want to take any chances. I didn't want to do anything stupid or silly or whatever. And I was, like, not going to hurt myself during the exhibition. So we're at. I'm thinking, okay, we're at a Grand Prix event in Japan. Okay, we are in Japan, and we're getting ready for the exhibition. And I say to one of my friends, who I am in the exhibition with, competition is all over. We all did. Well, all. Whatever. We're getting ready for the exhibition. I say to my friend, like, oh, God, I really don't want to skate in the exhibition. I'm just, like, feeling kind of exhausted from the competition the day before. And I was going to skate to my cover of Diamonds. And I'm about to play the music, and my friend Mariah Nagasu, who I was. Who I would go to the Olympics with eventually in 2018, we're both trying to make this 2018 Olympic team, but she's there with me, if I'm remembering this correctly. She says, why don't you just sing it instead of skate? And she's, like, fully not thinking. I don't know which. I think she's. How about that? She's fully not thinking. And I said, maybe I will. And so Mirai has Japanese parents. She can speak Japanese, and that's key because we are in Japan. And she goes over to, like, the DJ booth, like, the people working the sound system, and she starts speaking to them in Japanese. And she, like, eventually is like, here's the microphone. Go do it. And we're in the practice. Okay, so this is like the morning of morning before, like, the exhibition morning after. It's, like, early, but it's the only time that you get to practice before the show. And so I'm on the ice with everyone, and she hands me the mic, and I just start singing the song. And I don't think anybody's, you know, ever dared to sing on an exhibition practice. And I don't think really, like. I don't think a lot of the skaters knew what was, like, what I was doing, that I was even, like, singing with the track. I think they just thought it was like the track. And the sound technicians were like, okay, I'm making it sound like I'm Benson Boone. Like, I'm making it sound like I'm so good. But you just have to imagine, like, this. I'm sure this. Like, it's like, this is so out of pocket that somebody would even do this. Okay, I'm. But I am laughing at, like, their jaws were on the ground. The way that I'm talking about myself, where it's like, oh, my God, this is like that video of, like. This is like watching, you know. You know what it was like. And I'm not saying I can sing like this, but this is like when they hand the mic to some random Filipino family member and they just go off. This is the feeling that I had. Okay? I'm not saying that that's what it sounded like. I'm just saying, like, that's the feeling that I had in that moment. And so I said, can I just do this during the exhibition? And I don't have to skate, but I'll get onto the ice. I'll sing in the Middle, and that'll be that. And they were like, sure. And I was like, perfect, then I won't have to skate in the exhibition. I'll just sing in it instead. And so I remember that I was, like, backstage and this rumblings have had already started between, like, the other skaters. And so I remember, like, one or two of them came up to me, and they were like, so you're gonna sing? And I was like, huh? I don't want to skate today, so I'll sing instead. And they're like, okay, good luck. Like, they really. They didn't think it was gonna go well. So I go out there, I sing my song, and I want you to know that I skate to middle ice. And I'm like, well, you know, I'm not on a stage, right? I'm center stage. So I get into the middle of the ice, and I just, like. I'm like, move your, like, hands, like, a little bit, like, up and down here and there, point at people. But I'm like, don't exert yourself. Because I'm like, maybe I should just sort of, like, stay in place. Because, like, what are the schematics of this? I shouldn't do laps. I'll get winded. I won't be able to sing my little song. I can't be winded. So I'm like, let's just sort of be stationary, but we'll kind of glide and scuttle forward and backwards and to the left and to the right and to behind. So, like, my stage presence, I'll be honest, is like, I could work on it, but only because I had, like. It would have been nice to have, like, a back drop, right? Because I could have, like, gone out. But when you're, like, skating, you have to perform, like, all around you. And I'm making it a point that I'm singing, not skating, and I need people to know that I'm singing, okay? And so I start singing, and there's audible gasps, okay? I. I know I am acting like I'm Susan Boyle and it's Britain's Got Talent and tears rolling down. I think it's just, like, people couldn't believe that I was singing and not skating. Okay? That's the shock. It's not like, oh, my God, this is the voice of Sarah McLachlan, okay? Like, that's not what's happening. I know that, okay? I'm just, like. I'm laughing at myself. God. Sometimes, like, I am amazing. I am amazing sometimes. And this is one of those moments where I'm amazing. So I sing. Music is done. Music is over. I'm done singing. Wave. Bow. Get off. I didn't do one lap around the rink. Exhibition done. Exhibition done. And I remember that my naysayers, the people who had come up to me were like, you're gonna sing. And I was like, huh? That. They were a bit quiet when I got off of the ice, okay? I'm just saying they were a little quiet. They weren't expecting that. And I want you to know that it was like. It was. Because if it was bad, they would have said, good job. Right? Like, you know that. And they weren't saying that. They weren't. They were going, oh, I've got to warm. I've got to warm up now. I've got to focus. I'm like, whatever. You're such a loser for skating. I sang, what are you going to do for your talent? Bathing suit? Like, fuck you. This is a good episode. It's my birthday episode. Well, the story doesn't end there, okay? Because then there are more Grand Prix. And the top six, like, overall placements, these are, like, the top six skaters in the world. They will qualify for the Grand Prix final, Okay? I qualified for the Grand Prix final. And so then I'm asked to skate in the Grand Prix final exhibition, okay? Now where is this competition taking place? It's taking place in Japan again. So we are in Japan again. And an interesting phenomenon has happened where I have been asked, are you gonna sing this time or are you gonna skate? Now I'm being asked what I wanna do, okay? Because now I've famously. The last time I was in Japan, did not skate. I sang in the exhibition. And the skaters that have all qualified for the Grand Prix final, they're not, like, the same from the last competition, right? Like, now, these are, like, different. These are like every, like, these are different skaters. Not everybody had seen me sing. So I have a few, like, smart Alec bitches who are like, so you're gonna sing in the exhibition? And I was like, yeah, I am. What are you gonna do? Skate, please. Fucking loser. Already found out a way not to skate in the exhibition. You complain about not wanting to skate in the exhibition, but what do you do? You put on your little vest and you get your little symbols and you bang them together. And then you take your little hat off and you beg for coins, right? That's what you do. But when I say, I don't want to skate in the exhibition, I go, me, me, me, me, me. I ask for the microphone And I just kind of shuffle back and forth, and I sing a song for about three minutes, I bow, and then I get my check and I go home. So there's a big difference between you and me. There's a big difference. And to some of those people, the big difference would be Olympic titles, gold medals, world titles. Yeah. But it didn't matter. It didn't matter. In those moments, I don't even know who. I can't even remember who I'm talking about of. But I do remember that there were some people who were like, oh, you're gonna sing today? Yeah, I'm gonna sing today. What are you gonna do? Skate. So but this time I was gonna do both. I was gonna do both. I was gonna do something shockingly show stopping. So with this Grand Prix final exhibition, I had my costume, and then I wore a leather jacket on top. Please kill me. And now I could kind of. I was trying to, like, fine tune the stage presence a little bit. This was like, much better. So I'm in my leather jacket, I sing the entire Diamond Song, three minutes of Diamonds. And then as soon as my track is over, I skate over to the wall, I put the microphone on the boards, I take off my leather jacket, I put it on the wall, and then I skate two more minutes to Rihanna singing Diamonds. And I do, like, jumps and spins. So I went from not wanting to skate in the exhibition at all to skating the longest program the exhibition had ever fucking seen. And that's the last time I ever sang in an arena. But I want you to know that, like, these are the only two times I've ever, like, performed or sang in front of a crowd. That was in, like, karaoke. And these two times were, like, in sold out arenas in Japan. It is what it is. Some people have it, some people don't. I have it. What is it? It's terminal. And there's no cure. I don't know what it is, but I do have it. And like I said, no cure. But that is the story of how I sang in the exhibition and in the middle of the ice. It is what it is. And I'm not the first skater to do it. I would say maybe I'm this. I'm one of the first three. Maybe in the first five. Because I've seen somebody stand in the middle and sing. And that is. I've seen Yuna Kim do that. And I was like, a funa could do it. I could do it. Why not? She did it in Korea, I'll do it in Japan. And I've also seen there's a Canadian skater, his name is Emmanuel Sandu, who, if you don't know him from skating, maybe you know him from so youo Think youk Can Dance, Canada. Very, like, artsy fartsy guy. Um, I did. I saw he skated and sang once, like, in. At some sort of, like, exhibition. Not at the Grand Prix final, not to avoid a penalty of not getting their prize money. So I. That is it. And then I will tell you that I had some, like, again, like, some smart Alec bitches after that, being like, you know, like, the next time I was in an exhibition, they were like, you have to skate. You can't sing. Okay? You have to shut the fuck up and leave me alone. How about that? Yeah, I'll go skate. I'm not going to sing. Okay, Relax. I got a lot of that after. They really thought. They were, like, showing me, like, oh, we're gonna like. I wasn't. I'm not. I wasn't trying to become a fucking pop star. I was just trying to create some buzz. Like, please, you can't sing. You have to skate. Oh, please. Yeah, give me my skates. I'll tie those up and I'll be out there in two minutes. Relax. I'll skate. I won't sing. And it's not like I already knew. It wasn't like. I was just like, every time Adam goes to the exhibition, he's gonna sing. I wasn't trying to pull, like, that kind of gag, right? Like, I knew the gag was over. It was what it was. And that is. And that is the story of how I sang at the Grand Prix. And sometimes I think of the things that I did when I was a competitive skater, and I really. Sometimes my eyes just sort of, like, widen because I cannot believe some of the things I've said and done and still do. But it's led me here. It's led me to a time and to a place where I have a flight. I have to be at the airport in four hours, right? I don't have a thing in a suitcase But I don't have a care in the world. I don't. Also, while we're talking about music for a sec, while we're talking about my budding music career as I'm just minutes away from turning 36. That Rosalia album, that is phenomenal. I don't understand a lick of Spanish, but I've got to tell you, I wish I did. She's phenomenal. That first song that I heard was what Is it Bergain, like the club in Germany? It's. Oh my God, that's going to be album of the year, I think. I'm like, not even kidding. I'm like, we have to start studying Spanish. We're behind. I also, I'm learning. I'm figuring out right now. I'm like, looking at the time. It's now 11:14pm I'm going to only have 45 minutes to do my duolingo today, which I'm doing duolingo for Finnish. I am sort of cheating the system. I'll let you know how. I'm just doing, like exercise and words and so that's if you know duolingo, you know how I'm kind of scamming them out. It's. Listen, it's just, it is what it is. We have like, let's do like one text message or something before we go. This always happens where it's like, there's not time. And like, when I say there's not time, I mean like, I am in charge of how much time there is. And I had two options for myself. It was like to do the podcast at witching hour, you know, or to like wake up at like 2am and do it before. And I was like, no, we'll get a better show in if we do it now. And I hope I'm right. Like, I'm really hoping that. That I'm correct. Let's read this one. It's a question that kind of gets a bit intimate into my personal medical history. This will be great. Hey, Adam, just finished today's Type A pod. Sorry for asking for your medical records or whatever, but have you ever been tested for ADHD or add? Lol. When I did, they made me a low dose Addy baddie. And then in parentheses, Adderall. Thank you for the clarification for telling me what an Addy Batty is. And that helped me and that helped with organizing my thoughts. Have a magical day from Disney World. Luke, what would make you ask if I have adhd? May. May I ask? And the answer is yes, I have. And I have been tested for adhd. And depending on how you look at it, I did either pass that test or fail it in the sense that I definitely do have it, which probably is not like a shock to anybody. It was a kind of a shock. I wasn't diagnosed with it until like later in life. I'm like, yesterday. No, I think a lot of athletes have it and I think that's why they excel in sports, because it's like, show so short term goal focused that you're like, always getting those dopamine hits. And even like when you go into, like, practice, it's like, do this and and then that and then this and then that. And it's like, it keeps you so, like, firing on all cylinders. And it wasn't until I was done competing that I was like, wow, I really struggle to, like, sit down and complete tasks. Like, I didn't realize how badly I struggled with that. And that's how I decided to. To speak to a professional. And I was like, I feel like the rest of everybody isn't struggling this hard. And so, yeah, I've got the itch. And by the itch, I mean the mental disorder of adhd. And I. If you're on it, it's hard to come by. And so I actually switched to Fiveans. So I'm taking my Vyvanse and it really is good and I really like it. Kiss, kiss. Right? Like, I just, I like, I gotta tell you, it's really like, I was afraid to take it at first because I had friends who were like, you know, like, we'd be like, going out or something and they're like, do you want an Adderall? I'm like, no. So, like, I was just thinking, like, oh, my God, I'm gonna be ready to go to the fucking bars, to the club, because that's what people around me that we're taking Adderall for. And so then I'm like, nervous to take it for the first time I take it and I'm like, oh, I just can, like, brush my teeth without putting it off all day. And so that's what it did for me. It didn't make me go out of my mind. So that's that. I am. I will tell you, the pill, it's wearing off because I am losing track of what we're talking about. But I want you to know that, like, Luke, for you to send that message means the world to me. I'm also trying to, like, move the text message around so I know that I've spoken word. Edit it. I didn't do it right. But we're going to move on. Is there another text message in here? I also am kind of struggling to see them from over here. I don't have my reading glasses. I'll be honest. So we're not going to read anymore. I will tell you a little other thing is I'm packing because I'm leaving to go to New York again. I'm Going for a skating competition. Not in New York City. I'm flying into New York City. But then the day after tomorrow, I'm driving to Lake Placid, New York, and I am going to be there for a competition called Skate America. And I know I get some double dippers on this podcast. So if you don't know, I also have a figure skating podcast that I host with two of my very dear friends, Ashley Wagner and Sarah Hughes. And that figure skating podcast is called the Run Through. And we're doing three live shows of that podcast in Lake Placid during Skate America. So that's gonna be quite fun. But I knew that it was gonna be. I'm gonna like be busy, you know, being 36 in 40 minutes or so. So I wanted to just get this recorded before we go. Hopefully I'll record another episode in New York. I threatened that the last time. We'll see what happens, but that's that. I'm going to take one nice big sip of the oala before I give my goodbyes. So good. It's so delicious. Oh, my God. Wait, I'm seeing something on my desk. I came up with a hack. So I got these like travel sized perfume bottles. Okay. And then I got a refillable sized cologne. Is any of this English or like, making sense to you? I'm gonna end the show quickly, I promise. Okay. So I got like. Basically that means it's like 5 ounces for the same price as like a 3 ounce brand new bottle. But then you can't. But there's no like squirter on the top. It's like truly a refill of the cologne for you to dump into the cologne bottle again. Okay. But instead of doing that, I put them in these like travel cologne bottle things. It's a hack, I'll tell you that. So I'm gonna smell good and I'm gonna save money. At the same time, I will tell you that the cologne I got lasts about five minutes. You gotta spray it nonstop. So is it a hack or was I tricked? And I think it's the latter. I don't think it's a hack. I do think I was. I'm being scammed. Anyway, on that note, happy birthday to me, Leonardo DiCaprio, Demi Moore, Corinne Olympios and Carson Kressley. And Alex Nelson from my fifth grade class. Thank you so much for listening to Intrusive Thoughts by Adam Rippon. I am Adam Rippon. I'm so glad that you could join me for this sultry midnight episode of Intrusive thoughts. If you would like to leave a voicemail or text the podcast, I would love that. And you should do that as a birthday gift to me. That number is 310-909-9717. That number is in the biography of my Instagram. The biography of my Instagram. So if you didn't remember that there it is. Please feel free to call or text. I love them both. Love a good voicemail. Love a good text message. What else? Oh my God. Something just popped into my head to say no. Oh, leave a review. 5 stars only if you don't. If you're gonna leave something less than five stars, why don't you text me about it and we'll address it? Okay, we'll address it. That being said, call or text. 310-909-9717. That's the end of this episode. Okay. I'm like shocked that I lasted this long. I think I'm gonna go take like a two hour nap, throw all of my stuff kind of like in a bag and then I'll be off to the airport. We'll just see kind of like what's going on. Also, when I go to New York, I decided I'm taking the train. I'm not getting a car into the city. I don't know if that's smart. We'll see. I guess you'll have to stay tuned for the next episode next week where I talk about taking a fucking train. And if there is no episode next week, just know that the train didn't go well. I'm still recovering. And on that note, happy birthday, I love you and I'll see you next week here. Unintrusive thoughts. Bye, everybody.
