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Adam Rippon
Hey, everyone, it's Adam. Let's get right into the show. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm Adam Rippon. This is the podcast by Adam Rippon. I feel like we just jump right into it today. To start this episode, I want to talk a little bit about fitness, health. Those two things they do go hand in hand, and I want to talk a little bit about them and my journey with them over the past few years. So, as many of you know, I used to be a former competitive figure skater, and I. I retired after I competed at the Olympics in 2018, which somehow and unbelievably is seven years ago. And I don't know where the time went. I don't know where the time went. I don't know where the time has gone. But a lot has happened in the last seven years for me physically. Now. When I retired, the first thing I said that I was going to do was I wasn't going to go to the gym. I had been going to the gym every day, multiple times a day for, at that point, like, 20 years of my life. And I felt like I just needed a break. So I didn't go. I mean, I did go, but it would be to do, like, a cameo where I would just sort of pop in. It was more of, like, a special guest appearance than it was a consistent daily routine. And honestly, I wasn't feeling, like, great about that, because going to the gym, I do feel better when I, like, move my body, right? I do think that's sort of like a rule of thumb that moving the body is better than keeping it completely static still. But regardless, I was still just making guest appearances at the gym. Features, like a solo artist would feature another artist on a track. That's sort of what I was doing when I was coming to the gym. It was like, oh, it's today. It's featuring me. And, you know, I just. I. I was doing that for a little while. Then the pandemic rolls around, which is sort of the term I'm gonna stick with. It rolled in. Kind of like clouds or the tide, it rolled in. And when the pandemic started, this is when I said, okay, true success happens when no one is looking. And that's why during the quarantine, I'm going to become hotter than ever. I'm gonna work out every single day, and I am just gonna get so hot. It will be, like, unbelievable. It'll be shocking how hot I get in this quarantine. Because, as I mentioned, I was a competitive figure skater. I Skated by myself, singles skater. And the body that I needed to be good at my sport was to be as lean as. As possible, right? Like, I needed to be super, super lean. And there was really nothing I could do about, like, the mass of muscle I had on my lower body, like legs and glutes and stuff like that, because you're just using them all the time. But the upper body, the main thing was to stay as light as possible. You wanted to be as light as possible because you have to hurl your fat ass into the. And so that's what I, you know, at the time, was doing hurling. But now that I was retired, it was time to match the upper body to the lower body, which I, you know, had never really done before. It had never been done before on this frame, specifically my frame is what I mean. And I said, okay, you know, that's going to be the focus. But the biggest problem I was having when I was going to the gym was like, I didn't know how to work out like a normal person, right? Like, I only knew how to work out if I was getting ready for the Olympics, which, you know, would be, like, hours at the gym. And I just was like, I don't have time for this. Who has time to do this? And no one does. And that's why only, like, professional athletes go to the gym like that, because they have time for it. And so I was like, you know what? Let's just scrap it. Let's just scrap it. And so, like I said, I'm back. I'm in the quarantine. And that lasted about two days before I said, I think I'll just take a hiatus again, more so I'll continue the hiatus I was already on. And so I did continue that hiatus until my boyfriend, now husband, took a picture of me laying in the bed. I'm in a sweatsuit, okay? And I will never show you this picture, but I will never delete it. And in this picture, I looked unrecognizable to myself. And I want to describe the outfit I was wearing. I was wearing Walmart sweatpants that were so comfortable, but were the color orange, not a flattering color for a sweatpant. And I was wearing a gray T shirt that was too small for me when I was already quite small. Now imagine somebody who was quite small, who isn't quite that small anymore, wearing something that was too small for them, even when they were quite small. Small, okay? Gut peeking out, not shaving the face. I looked a bit haggard. And that picture that Woke me up. Like, you know when your phone gets an Amber Alert and it starts beeping really, really loudly? That's the sort of reaction that I got in my brain when I saw this photo of myself. I went, I'm going to call 911 on myself because I can't believe this has happened. And so the first thing I did was I threw out the T shirt. It was old already. And I donated the sweatpants. So I don't know where they are and if you're wearing them now or if you know the proud owner of orange Walmart brand sweatpants that you got at a thrift store. I hope you enjoy them, because I enjoyed the hell out of them. But they're yours now, and they're on their own journey. And our paths did cross at one time, but now it was time for them to kind of live with you now. Anyway, what I'm getting to is that's when I said, okay, I really need to start going to the gym more consistently now. Let me just rewind slightly. Slightly. When I was, as I've mentioned before, very thin, I wasn't always doing it, like, a very healthy way. And when I say that, I mean I would have, like, one Chobani yogurt, go to bed, wake up starving, and go, I'm so mentally tough for pushing through. And so I was thin, but I was quite wrong. And I want you to know that I did pay the price for this because a year before the Olympics, I broke my foot from what I can only assume was having no nutrients in my body. But who had time for nutrients when you were buying clothes that were just way too small for you, that eventually would haunt you in a photo taken in the pandemic on your boyfriend, soon to be husband's bed? Uh, I just, you know, in that picture. I'm gonna go back to the picture quickly. I. I did look like the Gerber baby, but with a beard. It just. It was not good. I had the. The body of a baby doll, round belly, round cheeks, diaper. It just. It haunts me still to this day, but it motivates me, too. Nothing will motivate you more than a chilling photo of yourself. And that's true. Like I said, this motivated me to really getting into the gym and getting consistent. So I started working out with a friend of mine who's a trainer, and he kind of changed my life. His name is Tyler. So Tyler changed my life because he got me into the gym again and taught me how to work out, like, my upper body and I felt way more comfortable going to the gym, and I learned how to do it in like a shorter amount of time and like a normal person. And so that's what I started to do. And that was maybe like three or four years ago at this point. And so I've been going to the gym pretty consistently for the last, like four years. And I actually really enjoy it now in a way that I did not enjoy it before. I look forward to it. I don't always want to go, but I know that if I do go, just moving will make me feel better. As I said, that is sort of a rule of thumb of the human body of that when it does move, it does sort of work better. A key component to what's really been missing for me when I go to the gym is the eating. The eating is still like, it's hit or miss. And I defiantly would like, eat whatever I want. I'm not as lean as I was when I was competing, which I don't think is realistic either. I'm like coming to terms with it right now. As I'm recording, I'm going, huh, maybe that's not realistic. I start crying. Like, what I'm saying is that I know that I would see, like better results in the gym if I was eating, you know, more protein and more meals and everything. But there is just this, like, habit and I trained myself when I was like, competing. Again, this is like, not good. Like, do not. Like I'm telling you as like a story, and I want you to take it as like a fairy tale story. Like, do not do what I did. And before I say, like in the last year, like in the year of the Olympics, like, I ate well and I was like, very healthy, blah, blah, blah. Okay, the old habit of I'm gaining a little weight. Well, just skip that lunch and that dinner. Just have a yogurt. That was my favorite line to use. Just have a yogurt. Okay. Now what I'm getting to is I'm rambling and rumbling. Sometimes I just don't feel like having a lunch or having a breakfast. But I know I need, like the extra calories and I want to make sure that I'm eating, like, healthy meals because again, that does make me feel better. You know, you are what you eat. They say. I roll my eyes. Yeah. So that's why I started the meal prepping, which I'm on week two of it. And it's really game changing for me because I don't have to think about it. I've Already thought about it. And I always want future me to succeed. So if present me does something for future me, I'm always a big fan of that. And so the meal prepping has been, like, game changing. And I've been going to the gym a little bit more. Like, I'm just. I'm getting in the rhythm of it, and I'm liking it. And I had a moment when I was at the gym earlier this week where I was reminded that, you know, I've come a long way, but I am still truly insane. Because, you know, I'll go to the gym once and I'll go, oh, my God, I look amazing. Huge arms. Huge, huge arms. Wow. And then, like, I'll get home and I'll go, hmm, that's not what I remember from seeing at the gym five minutes ago. And, you know, it's always this, like, up and down, but I don't really care. I just want to feel good, you know, Like, I'm going to the gym to feel good. I'm eating the meals to feel good, and I'm feeling good. And so that's what my focus is. But earlier this week, I was working on my chest, and something else in the gym I've been avoiding is cardio. I'm like, I don't need it. Well, I do need it, because cardio is like, what will, you know, burn the fat. I need fat. Burning hiit cardio. And so I'm like, I'm going to do the cardio. So I decided that for my cardio, in this one workout, I was going to do, like, a little jump rope routine because I'm a huge fan of the jump rope. Now, I never was, like, a competitive jump roper, but if you remember this name at all from the infomercials, I hope it sort of, like, gives you a tingle in your brain if the youth jump rope I use is a Buddy Lee jump rope. Who? I really couldn't tell you who Buddy Lee is, except that I think he's the greatest jump roper in the world ever. I don't know, and I don't know if that's true. I just don't know if he's, like, a great marketer or, you know, something else. Because for a while, I thought George Foreman was just, you know, a guy who barbecued. I didn't realize he had a past, you know, that led him to the grill. The George Foreman Grill, you know, which is why we should sort of keep the schools open and funded. If that fact alone, I was going, George Foreman. You mean the grill master and not sort of like George Foreman, the famous athlete. Now back to my jump roping. Now when I was jump roping, there was a moment in time where I was jump roping and I was going, oh my God. And I could feel the progress I was making in the gym. And I'm going to explain how I could feel it that I was jumping rope and I was going, oh my God, my tits are just flying around. Now I know why people wear sports bras. And I want you to sort of like take a look at my body and know that the tits that I have are sort of not bra kneading breasts, okay? And so the slight vibration I'm feeling from them as I'm jumping rope is not substantial, okay? I'm not like an only fans model jumping rope, okay? I'm like a normal guy jumping rope who can feel a bit of movement in his chest. And I stopped jumping rope for a second because I'll do anything to distract from like actually completing the workout. And I went, oh my God, my breasts are huge. And they are much bigger than they were, but they weren't big enough for me to really be taken aback in the way that I was. But I was truly taken back. And then I did try to continue jumping rope, but every time I did I was just feeling like the thud, thud, thud of my tits, which are pretty, you know, standard size male pectoral muscles, right? They're, they're nothing like, wow, the chest on that guy, it's just sort of like, yeah, he just, I guess, doesn't look like a little boy anymore. But yeah, that really did throw me into sort of like a wow, I do have huge tits. And it's all because I meal prep. And it's truly because I made a chicken salad three days before and put it in a container. And that's why I have huge breasts. Anyway, I will move on from that. And this is the moral of the story. Now I'm going to get serious. Listen, if you want to be a lean, mean machine, you've got to eat. I learned that the hard way. And if you have trouble eating or feel like you don't have time to prepare the meals, try meal prepping. I'm telling you, it is game changing. Can't wait to never do it again. You know, eventually I'll fall out of love with it. But right now I'm, you know, honeymoon phase. And it feels so good. It feels so, so good. Really, really does. Oh, another thing that I would like to talk about was, you know, in this time period where I'm like, I know that I need to do more cardio. I was reading that one of the, one of the best things you can do for cardio is to just get more steps. And they recommend getting 10,000 steps a day. If you really want to up it and just see a bit of a difference, try to get 15,000. And I said, okay, that should be easy because I have two dogs and I go on walks with them. And I'm like, I must already easily be getting 15,000 steps. And I did have sort of the haunting, bone chilling realization that I wasn't. I was getting about 3,000 steps. I don't know where I was thinking I was getting the other 12,000 steps, but I was only getting 3,000. And that's when I went, okay, we got to kind of kick this into over gear. And that meant that I needed to get a step counter. Now this is going to lead me into another truly pointless story. But I have bought the Apple Watch twice before, and I've returned it twice within four to three hours of owning it because I just don't like it. I just don't like the Apple Watch. I'm sorry. I don't think it's elegant. I don't think it's useful. I don't think it's handy. Maybe to you it is, but to me it is cumbersome and ugly. But to you it's handy and helpful, you know, but for me, that's sort of like one person's trash is another person's treasure. I don't like the Apple Watch for me, and I really thought that I would like it. But the one thing I just couldn't get over is I felt like I was wearing a tracker. You know, I. I felt like I was being followed or watched, and I just didn't like that. And I say this all truly next to my cell phone that is tracking and watching me, but I just didn't like it being on my wrist. Really, I didn't like that. So I got a Fitbit. And I really like the fit bit because it's just sort of a bracelet. But that's how I found out that I was, yeah, getting 3,000 steps and telling everybody, oh, yeah, I'm getting 20, 25,000. Breaking records. I wasn't. I really wasn't. I was doing a lot of computer work that is not getting steps, actually. So if you think you're getting the steps, you might not be. And so I did try to get 15,000 a day not hitting that. I'll be honest. But I am now at least getting the 10,000 every day. Because again, nobody will sort of haunt you in the same way that you can haunt yourself. And, you know, I know one day I'll go, remember that time in the gym when you thought your tits were truly getting in the way of your workout, but thank God you weren't wearing an apple watch and being tracked? You know, thank God for that. But how am I gonna hold these suckers down the next time I jump rope? And on that note, I think that we should get into a few voicemails. Please leave your message after the tone.
Listener
I have a few queries for you that I've really been thinking about. First off, what are your thoughts on when people will like aggressively pass you on a two lane road and why are they always trucks? And my second query for you is, what are your general thoughts on honking your horn? Like, what is your protocol for when it's appropriate to honk at someone? Do you think over. Over a minor inconvenience? Do they need to be aggressive? Do they need to endanger your life? Let me know. I'm curious what, what your policy is.
Adam Rippon
Okay. This is actually a great voicemail and I do have a policy on the horn and it might be what you think and it might not be what you think, but there's only one way to find out. Stay tuned. I'm gonna reveal that coming up next. Even I'll come coming up right now. I'll reveal it now. This is the policy. The policy is that I like to use the horn and I'm gonna tell you why. One time I was in the car and my friend was driving and she was a very good driver, followed all the rules, stopped at the stop sign and stopped and looked one way and the other just really a perfect driver. Perfect road etiquette. And I remember we were on the highway and there was a car that was in the lane next to us and this car did not see my friend driving. We were, I guess, in this car's blind spot and they started to turn over and I hit my friend and was like, well, they're, they're gonna hit us. And she did not hesitate. Hand on the horn, and this person swerved right back into their lane. Nobody got into a crash that day. And that stuck with me because I'll never forget how quickly my friend hit that horn and how her honking the horn basically saved us from getting into an accident. It really made an impression on me and I Remember thinking, wow, I wonder if I was in the same situation, would I have the reflex to hit the horn when the time counts? And so I don't even think I had my license at this point. When I did eventually get my license, I always thought of this story of how we. When my friend hit the horn, it saved us from being in an accident. And so I made it my duty to train myself to hit the horn if I ever needed to. And so I like to use the horn, you know, like, I live in a bigger city and so people do use the horn. And on the west coast, I feel like people don't use the horn that often. Let me rephrase. I don't feel like they use the horn as often as they do on the east coast. On the east coast, they're really sort of willy nilly about whacking that thing. And when I was younger, I was heavy on the horn. I was honking it at people. I was in a way that I shouldn't be, and I don't do that anymore. But if somebody like, let's say we're in traffic and I'm trying to, you know, get into another lane and I can see that somebody's letting me in, I'll make sure that, like, I hit the horn really quick, like beep beep, like a thank you. And so I use the horn to communicate with the other drivers. Or if I'm at a red light and there's a car in front of me and we've been sitting there for, you know, a few seconds, like they're, they're not paying attention. I will do like a beep beep just so that they know that, like, I'm friendly, but the light changed. Just a friendly reminder. Like I'm waiting a few seconds to make sure that I can confirm that they aren't paying attention. I do this because sometimes I won't be paying attention. Now I'm never on my phone when I'm driving. That's always like in the glove compartment. I can't do two things at once. I can only, like, focus on one thing. But, you know, I'll be like reading someone's license plate or something like that, or reading a billboard or just not looking at the light. And sometimes somebody will give me the beep beep. And when that happens, I do like a wave and a beep beep back because I want them to know, oh, no, we're on the same page. Thank you, I appreciate that. Now I remember one time I was driving on sort of Side streets. And I was paying attention and the light went from red to green and somebody honked at me in a way that wasn't friendly, that felt like, oh, I gotta go somewhere. And I'm like, well one, if you gotta go somewhere, you get off the side streets. So I decided that I. And, and I'm leading them, okay, so they're behind me, so they give me that. Which was, I think, uncalled for. And so to punish them, which again I shouldn't have done, I held onto my horn and I just laid on it. I just laid on the horn until I think that they got nervous and they turned off before we even made it to the next light. Because I was, you know, the speed limit on the street was 25 miles an hour. So we were crawling to the next light and I, I really did want to see them suffer, which I think I did. And I don't regret it. But I know that it was kind of dangerous to do that because you never know. People can be nuts. But you know, I think a good sure fire way is to kind of out nuts them, which I did in that instance. But I do think that the horn is important and you shouldn't be afraid of it. And I think if you're seeing somebody do something, especially when you're driving on the highway that like looks dangerous or if you feel like they're not paying attention, I would hit the horn. I hit the horn. And I think that you shouldn't be afraid to use it because everybody goes on alert when that horn goes off. They think they look. And if you think that somebody is putting other people at risk, I think that you should use the horn. I do use the horn and I use it in a civilized way way. Now I want to get back to the first point and kind of question, even query that was asked of what do you do when somebody's, you know, kind of being aggressive on the street? Now this used to bother me in a way that would make me angry. And now it doesn't bother me at all because truly I want that person sort of out of my vicinity. And if they need to get to probably nowhere so fast, I'm going to let them because I want to be nowhere near that type of energy. So if I can see that somebody's trying to skirt around me or they're trying to do some shady thing on the street, I'm going to let them go and I'm even going to help them do it by I'll slow down, make sure that they go. I'M not going to fight with them, okay? I have bigger fish to fry in. The fish that I'm frying are not Toyota Corollas on side streets in LA. Okay? They're not Honda Civics. They're not Priuses from 2005. That's not the fish that I'm frying. I'm frying my own fish inside my car, using my horn when it is needed and appropriate. That's what I'm doing. But I also believe this. The Carmatic Bank Karma Bank Karma, credit. Nothing to do with karma. Credit credit. Karma is what it actually is. Okay, whatever. Doesn't matter. It. I believe that there are times when I do something that I maybe shouldn't where you're trying to turn left at a light and you kind of. You roll through the red behind somebody who barely made a yellow. Right? That's a bit shady, right? That's not the proper way to do it. And I believe that sometimes people will do shady things or they'll cut you off or whatever. And I believe that if I just let it go that I am putting sort of karma in the bank for when I might do something shady, that this goodwill that I'm showing towards man or woman is going into my collected karma. So that if I accidentally or even on purpose do something sort of shady, I will be surrounded by the people who will be understanding. I'm a firm believer that nobody needs to get anywhere that fast. And truly, at the end of the day, if you're five minutes late or you're 10 minutes late, you're still late, right? Just leave earlier and you don't need to be going that fast. I, like, don't get when people have to go so fast on the highway just to get somewhere two minutes earlier in a car that can, I don't think, can withstand the forces that they're putting on it. Whatever. Basically moral of the story, don't be afraid of that horn. Use it. Please leave your message after the tone.
Listener
Hey Adam. Big fan, long time listener, first time caller. First, I just wanted to say that I actually think that you were using the correct amount of sound effects. Crying, crying, laughing in the car, listening to you talk and punctuate every sentence of the sound effect. So, you know, I'm in the camp of maybe more. But I do think that in episode seven, you know, you probably struck a good balance with how many sound effects you were using. So, you know, you decide. But then I also want to say I think the podcast by Adam Rapant is a better name than Intrusive thoughts. I mean, the podcast, first of all, is so meta, but I also think it's better branding for you because your name is a very significant part of it. You know what I mean? And I work in marketing, so, you know, you should believe me.
Adam Rippon
Okay. I want you to know that I believed you and I still do believe you. And yeah, that's also what my thought process was, was that my name will be in it. It'll just be easier to find. But like I said, you got to know my name. That's a crucial part to finding it. But if you didn't know my name, you wouldn't know to look for the podcast. So. And the name is the podcast. I think that's kind of tongue in cheek. Like, how clever. What's the name of your podcast? The podcast. We really do have fun here, don't we? The sound effects and the last episode. Episode seven. Yeah. I kind of do feel like I found and struck a better balance with Bell. Bell, Bell. The sound effects. Bell. Because when I did listen back to episode seven, I. It just felt a little bit more easy listening from a hard person to listen to, you know, And I think that was like the proper cadence. Like, I did less cuts in between the silence that I would keep, I guess keeping silence, you know, I would just. I would make everything much tighter, but it also took like a ton of time. And who has that kind of time? Me, obviously. So I feel like in episode seven, I just let everything breathe a little bit more and it just sounded nicer. Of course, I. You do know that I am crazy. You do know that I love sort of the sound effect. I. I do love the drama. Drama lover here. And I did like the sound effects all over the place, but I do feel like it did give a completely different listener experience when there were less. And I feel like it even sounded better. So I think that's the route we're taking and the route that we're on. And it feels good. It feels so good to be on that route. I think that we just. We keep hanging out here. Like I said, let's get to episode 10 and then let's regroup and we take it from there. The feedback is so helpful. It's so important because then it can be something that we all love, you know, that we all love. And it is time to end this episode, episode 8 of the podcast by Adam Rippon. I am your host, Adam Rippon. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. Make sure that you give us a five star review. Wherever you listen to your podcasts, call in. Leave a voicemail. Our number is 310-909-9717. Like I said, I'm Adam Rippon, and I'll see you next time here on the podcast.
The Podcast by Adam Rippon
Episode 8: Haunting Yourself
Release Date: March 20, 2025
Introduction
In Episode 8, titled "Haunting Yourself," Adam Rippon delves deep into his personal journey with fitness and health post-retirement from competitive figure skating. The episode seamlessly transitions into engaging listener interactions, offering both personal anecdotes and practical advice.
Adam begins the episode by reflecting on his transition from a rigorous Olympic training regimen to retirement seven years ago. He shares his initial struggle with maintaining his fitness routine without the structured environment of competitive sports.
"When I retired, the first thing I said that I was going to do was I wasn't going to go to the gym." [00:45]
He admits that the absence of daily gym visits left him feeling less than optimal, highlighting the importance of movement for overall well-being.
The COVID-19 pandemic served as a pivotal moment for Adam. A candid photo taken by his then-boyfriend revealed a side of himself he wasn’t proud of, acting as a wake-up call to prioritize his health.
"I just looked... it was a Gerber baby with a beard. It just was not good." [10:55]
This unsettling image motivated him to reignite his fitness journey, emphasizing the profound impact a single moment can have on one's life choices.
With the help of his trainer friend Tyler, Adam revamped his approach to working out, shifting from Olympic-level training to a more sustainable and enjoyable routine.
"Tyler changed my life because he got me into the gym again and taught me how to work out like a normal person." [15:30]
Acknowledging the critical role of nutrition, Adam introduces his newfound passion for meal prepping, which has streamlined his dietary habits and enhanced his fitness progress.
"Meal prepping has been, like, game changing for me because I don't have to think about it." [20:15]
Adam discusses his initial neglect of cardio exercises and steps tracking, leading to the realization that he was far less active than he believed.
"I thought I was getting 20, but I was only getting 3,000 steps." [18:50]
Switching from an Apple Watch to a Fitbit, he found a more comfortable way to monitor his activity, helping him achieve a consistent 10,000 steps daily goal.
A listener inquires about handling aggressive drivers and the appropriate use of car horns. Adam shares his personal policies and experiences, emphasizing the horn's role in safety and communication.
"I believe that if you're seeing somebody do something... I hit the horn." [22:30]
He recounts a life-saving incident where a friend’s quick horn use prevented a potential accident, underscoring the importance of being prepared to use the horn judiciously.
Another listener provides feedback on the podcast’s sound effects and branding. Adam appreciates the constructive criticism and discusses the evolution of his podcast's name and sound design.
"I do feel like in episode seven, I just let everything breathe a little bit more and it just sounded nicer." [32:42]
He acknowledges the balance between sound effects and content flow, committing to refining the listening experience based on audience feedback.
Adam wraps up the episode by thanking his listeners, encouraging them to leave reviews, and inviting more voicemails for future discussions.
"Thank you so much for listening to this episode. Make sure that you give us a five-star review." [32:42]
He reiterates his commitment to evolving the podcast, ensuring it remains engaging and reflective of his authentic self.
Key Takeaways:
Self-Motivation: Personal challenges and unexpected moments can serve as powerful motivators for positive change.
Balanced Routine: Transitioning from a high-intensity regimen to a sustainable fitness and nutrition plan is crucial for long-term health.
Effective Communication: Using tools like car horns responsibly can enhance safety and interpersonal interactions on the road.
Audience Engagement: Listener feedback is invaluable in shaping and improving content delivery and branding.
Adam Rippon's candid discussions offer listeners both inspiration and practical advice, making "Haunting Yourself" a compelling episode that resonates on multiple levels.