Podcast Summary: Intrusive Thoughts by Adam Rippon

Episode: “This Is What the Internet Made Me Buy”
Date: January 8, 2026
Host: Adam Rippon
Podcast Network: PodcastOne

Main Theme

Adam Rippon kicks off the New Year by sharing his latest Internet-driven purchases, reflecting on the wild world of influencer beauty hacks and product recommendations. The episode meanders through beauty “propaganda,” wild baby names, package theft, a crowdsourced search for the perfect slipper, and ultimately, an intimate and comedic walk through Adam’s own, slightly embarrassing vision board for the year. It’s a riotously candid, self-deprecating look at how the algorithms, online personalities, and random intrusive thoughts shape his life and aspirations.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Algorithm Makes Me Buy Things

Timestamps: 01:30 - 12:45

• Gua Sha & Lymphatic Drainage Deep Dive:
  Adam admits he falls for “beauty propaganda” and gets swept up in viral facial massage tools, specifically gua sha.
  • Breaks down the types of Internet “characters” shilling these wellness tools, from dramatic before-and-after transformation influencers (“Eastern European woman whose head is the shape of a pumpkin… now she looks like a mail order bride” - 04:10) to outright scam artists hawking anything (“toxin in a stick,” “end of the world solar batteries”).
  • With humor, Adam dissects why these pitches work on him, even though the actual experience is a letdown (“What the fuck did I think this thing was gonna do? It’s a fucking brush, and I’m just brushing it on my face.” — 11:20).
  • Takeaway: Adam is “incredibly disappointed” in himself for buying into the hype, but owns it as part of being human and online.

2. Nara Smith & the ‘Trad Wife’ Aesthetic

Timestamps: 12:45 - 20:40

• Meet Nara Smith:
  Adam explains the viral “trad wife” influencer—Nara Smith—who showcases a picturesque Utah-coded domestic life, complete with scratch-made Hot Pockets and couture fashion.
  • Adam openly adores the ridiculousness and self-seriousness of it all: “She’s drop dead gorgeous. She’s clinically insane, as is Lucky [her husband]…” — 15:55
• Wild Kid Names:
  • Adam reads out her children’s names (“Rumble Honey Slim, Easy, Whimsy Lou, Fonny Golden”) and laughs about being both bemused and jealous.
  • He plays with the idea of stealing names like “Dainty Whisper” for his future kids.
  • Adam reads a hilarious comment: “I love the names Blort, Cheddar, Summer Sausage, and obviously Brick, which that’s, you know, it’s a funny comment.” — 18:25
  • Takeaway: It’s a funny but earnest examination of internet personas and why original, outlandish names spark envy and cultural conversation.

3. Package Theft—the Ongoing Saga

Timestamps: 20:40 - 25:50

• Best Buy Disaster:
  Adam recounts a recent incident where a high-value Best Buy order (two iPads, three Google speakers) was marked delivered but stolen.
  • Details “OnTrac” delivery service as the culprit, expressing disbelief and anger: “They’re hiring thieves and sticky-fingered little criminals.” — 25:10
  • Vows to recover his money, while poking fun at his own likely lack of confrontation (“I’m a complete pushover… I just have a qu…”).
• Broader Internet Shipping Gripe:
  • Connects this episode to previous stories of package mishaps and reflects on modern e-commerce perils.

4. The Great Slipper Quest—Crowdsourced

Timestamps: 22:55 (first voicemail) – 35:40

• Voicemail From Nancy:
  Listener recommends Birkenstock or Vionic slippers, warning, “might not be hard enough… might be too slippery.”
• Crowdsourcing Results:
  Adam shares top community recommendations—Birkenstock, Bombas, L.L. Bean, Minnetonka, etc.
  • Shares personal perspective: L.L. Bean slippers feel “appropriative” to him; Birkenstocks are basically a “workout” if you have flat feet.
  • Hilarious analogies, e.g., flat feet as “the shape of an antique iron…looks so ugly.” — 29:15
  • Admits obsession with Bombas and leans toward their women’s mule slipper.
• Second Voicemail From Nancy:
  Nancy retracts her Vionic suggestion, warning of the “lip in the back that you hate. These little lips, they’re terrorizing everybody.” — 38:20
  Adam doubles down: “These slippers look like these are going to be the last shoes that you buy. These look like—you’re going into hospice…” — 39:46

5. A Look at Adam’s Vision Board

Timestamps: 41:00 – 01:01:30

• Opening the Folder:
  After much buildup, Adam finally shares the contents of a vision board he assembled 2 years ago.
  • The board is “sort of like a collage”—including his (Photoshopped) mortgage with $0 balance, Oscar and Emmy aspirations, lots of “Adam Rippon wins” printouts, magazine covers, and more.
  • Some successes realized: “Behind me, I did win an Emmy.”
  • Reflects on his real acting auditions, including landed role on St. Denis Medical (“I have two lines, I think, and one of them is, ‘I think I’m okay’.” — 50:33).
• Manifesting Audacious Dreams:
  Touches on TIME 100, “Outstanding Comedy Series” awards, Saturday Night Live guesting, and even starring in a Polly Pocket movie.
  • Laughs at how randomly he chose some things, like having his photo next to a group including Mark Wahlberg—“Why? What was I trying to manifest?” — 58:55
  • Upon discovering Wahlberg’s controversial history: “Okay, I think we’re going to be cutting that picture out.” — 01:00:24
  • Reflects on the importance (and comfort) of ambition, even when it’s a little bit cringy in retrospect.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “What the fuck did I think this thing was gonna do? It’s a fucking brush, and I’m just brushing it on my face.” — Adam Rippon (11:20)
• “She’s holding the baby like a bowl of hot soup—it could spill at any moment!” — Adam on Nara Smith (16:45)
• “I get so mad that I didn’t think of those names first… My daughter, Dainty Whisper. It’s so good.” — Adam (17:55)
• “I am 110% certain that this package was stolen by the delivery driver… They’re hiring thieves and sticky-fingered little criminals!” — Adam (25:10)
• “I want to like the L.L. Bean slippers, but I’m just not looking for a slipper that looks like I need to do a land acknowledgment before I put them on.” — Adam (27:10)
• “When I look at my feet, sometimes I’m like, why is the whole thing on the ground?” — Adam, on flat feet (29:15)
• “These slippers look like…the last shoes you ever buy. Like, you’re going into hospice.” — Adam, describing Vionic slippers (39:46)
• “I have two lines [on St. Denis Medical], I think, and one of them is, ‘I think I’m okay.’” — Adam (50:33)
• “I put a picture of myself next to Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, The Rock, and Vin Diesel. Why?” — Adam, on his vision board (58:10)
• “You have to say it out loud. Sometimes it can be cringy… Whatever. You just gotta say it out loud. I’m saying it out loud.” — Adam, reflecting on vision boards and resolutions (01:01:30)

Episode Flow and Structure

1. Beauty Product Propaganda

   • Adam’s gua sha and internet wellness rabbit holes
   • What the hype promises vs. what reality delivers

2. Influencer Deep Dive: Nara Smith

   • The trad wife aesthetic and wild baby names
   • Adam’s envy over unique name ideas

3. E-commerce Woes

   • Adam’s lost package rant and candid thoughts on online customer service

4. Listener Interaction: Slippers Search

   • Nancy’s voicemails, crowd suggestions, and Adam’s analyses
   • Comedic riffing on slipper design and elderly/cultural associations

5. Vision Board Reveal

   • Breaking down Adam’s collage creation, the meaning behind it, and which dreams to keep or toss
   • Meta-commentary on why it’s worth manifesting (and updating) your “cringe” goals

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Gua Sha/Beauty Product Internet Influence: 01:30 – 12:45
• Nara Smith/Influencer Culture & Kid Names: 12:45 – 20:40
• Package Theft & Delivery Service Drag: 20:40 – 25:50
• Slipper Quest (Voicemails, Reviews): 22:55 (Nancy’s voicemail) – 35:40
• Vision Board Reveal & Audition Stories: 41:00 – 01:01:30
• Closing Reflections & Vision Board Takeaways: 01:01:30 – End

Overall Tone & Takeaways

Adam Rippon’s tone is comedic, fast-paced, candid, and unfiltered—a blend of relatable self-deprecation and sharp observational humor. He masterfully turns every tangent into a punchline, making the episode both personal diary and cultural satire. Even when confessing minor embarrassments—like falling for Instagram products, package theft, or vision board blunders—Adam keeps things upbeat, ending on the note that putting your dreams out there is always worth it, cringe or not.

For listeners:
If you love comedic, confessional takes on internet trends, personal resolutions, and the quirks of “hot, funny” modern life, this episode is a must. Plus, if you’ve ever lost a package, bought a useless beauty tool, or built a goofy vision board—Adam gets it.