Podcast Summary: "Family Estrangement Is on the Rise. Are Politics to Blame?"

Podcast: The Political Scene | The New Yorker
Host: Tyler Foggatt
Guest: Anna Russell, contributing writer at The New Yorker
Date: November 19, 2025

Overview

This episode explores the rising phenomenon of family estrangement in America, delving into the reasons more people are choosing to go "no contact" with close relatives, and how politics—especially recent divisive events—figure into these decisions. Tyler Foggatt interviews Anna Russell, whose New Yorker article on the subject went viral, to unpack the sociological, psychological, and generational trends behind estrangement, the role of political discord, the growing cultural acceptance of severing family ties, and the challenges of reconciliation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining Family Estrangement

• No Contact vs. Low Contact ([03:28])

  • No Contact: Total cessation of communication with a family member, typically after an explicit decision or request.
  • Low Contact: Reduced interaction, perhaps just a birthday card or rare event attendance.

  "No contact is what it sounds like. No contact. You're not contacting your family, you're not accepting contact from them. You've asked them to stop contacting you, maybe except in certain emergencies."
  — Anna Russell ([03:28])

2. Family Estrangement on the Rise

• Prevalence ([01:57])

  • Approximately 27% of Americans are estranged from at least one relative, with evidence indicating this number is climbing.
  • Modern openness replaces old taboos around admitting or discussing estrangement.

  "There's a wide range of types of estrangement... there's a community of people who have decided to go no contact... it's a growing thing."
  — Anna Russell ([03:28], [04:29])

• Social Media and Support Communities ([04:29])

  • Online communities (e.g., Reddit forums) foster connection and validation among estranged adult children.

3. Motivations for Estrangement

• Beyond clear-cut cases of abuse, "toxic" relationships and political/worldview differences are increasingly cited as reasons for going no contact.

  "Some of that stuff is just so subjective. So I guess I'm curious, like, if you think that... separating yourself because they're toxic or you don't agree with their political beliefs... leads to a thornier kind of estrangement."
  — Tyler Foggatt ([07:52])

• Cultural shift: Younger generations often frame family not as an obligatory unit but as a relationship of choice.

  "There's this movement among younger people to go to therapy... and maybe see their parents more as individuals rather than as part of a family unit."
  — Anna Russell ([08:58])

4. Case Study: Amy’s Story

• Anna chose to focus on Amy, whose estrangement was rooted in political and pandemic-related differences: Amy requested her parents to get vaccinated before her wedding, and when they refused, communication ceased.
  ([12:35]–[15:02])

• Most such estrangements do not explode after a single argument; rather, they culminate in a series of disagreements, often capped by a final, significant event.

  "It ends up being a lot of small things and then one big thing, usually like the straw that breaks camel's back."
  — Anna Russell ([15:02])

5. Changing Notions of Harm

• Our understanding of what is "harmful" or "abusive" in family relationships has expanded, partly due to broader therapy culture and evolving social values.
  ([15:42]-[17:42])

  "Therapists sort of unconsciously reflect the biases of their own time, and our time is one that really values independence."
  — Anna Russell, summarizing Joshua Coleman ([16:22])

• Therapy frequently plays a supporting—but not usually initiating—role for people contemplating estrangement.

6. Reconciling After Estrangement

• Paths to reconciliation are varied; some therapists see little of it, while others, like Joshua Coleman, find success when parents respect adult children’s boundaries and pursue therapy together. ([19:41])

  "If the parent is able to get the child to attend family therapy... and respect boundaries... the chance of reconciliation is quite high."
  — Anna Russell ([19:41])

• Some online communities oppose reconciliation, seeing permanent separation as essential for healing.

7. Is Rising Estrangement Healthy?

• Anna describes the emotional complexity from both estranged children and parents' perspectives.

  "Cutting off contact completely... I didn’t see a ton of positives to that... There’s still a lot of sadness and a sense of loss."
  — Anna Russell ([22:17])

8. Politics as a Catalyst

• While the Trump era is often cited, pandemic-era conflicts (e.g., over vaccines) are equally prominent triggers.

  "When I was reporting it, a lot of people were dealing with issues related to the pandemic... In the case of Amy, she was really pro vaccine... her family was not." — Anna Russell ([13:45])

• Political differences may escalate to no contact rarely because of one dinner-table argument. Usually, accumulated disagreements and a final event (e.g., a wedding ultimatum) precipitate the break.

9. Coping & Personal Reflections

• Both Anna and Tyler discuss their own family dynamics, navigating pandemic boundaries and divergent political views.

  "There have been times where [my dad] has, like, highlighted things in pieces... and I’m like, you know what? That’s actually, like, a pretty reasonable take."
  — Tyler Foggatt ([29:54])

• Tyler expresses surprise at how simple political disagreements can lead to estrangement, noting the usefulness of engagement across divides.

10. Advice and Hope for the Future

• Expert Joshua Coleman suggests direct, tailored apologies from parents who wish to reconcile.

• Others propose focusing on shared interests (e.g., “talking about Madonna, not vaccines”) as a way to stay connected while avoiding conflict.

  "Just stick to Madonna, nothing else."
  — Anna Russell ([26:00])

• The hosts agree that implicit mutual commitment to maintaining the relationship is key to surviving disagreements.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On No Contact:
  "You're not contacting your family, you're not accepting contact from them. You've asked them to stop contacting you, maybe except in certain emergencies."
  — Anna Russell ([03:28])

• On Family as Voluntary:
  "If you see your parents more as individuals, you can find their flaws and you can sort of distance yourself from them in an easier way..."
  — Anna Russell ([08:58])

• On Modern Therapy Influence:
  "Therapists... reflect the biases of their own time, and our time is one that really values independence."
  — Anna Russell ([16:22])

• On Pandemic Conflict:
  "Amy was really like pro vaccine and social distancing, whereas her family was not. And that created a lot of struggles."
  — Anna Russell ([13:45])

• On the Difficulty of Complete Estrangement:
  "I generally think that if there's any way to have a small amount of contact, it would be better than no contact at all."
  — Anna Russell ([22:17])

• On Enduring Bonds:
  "There’s truly nothing that really any of my family members could say to me that I think would make me want to go no contact."
  — Tyler Foggatt ([30:24])

• On Reconciliation:
  "[Coleman] always advises parents... to write a letter of apology that is very, very specific to the child... to really get in their headspace and recognize what the grievances might be."
  — Anna Russell ([24:29])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:29–03:28 | What Estrangement Means: No Contact vs. Low Contact
• 04:29–05:56 | Online Estrangement Communities and Taboo-Shifting
• 07:02–08:58 | Why Anna Chose Amy’s Story: Worldview Differences
• 12:35–15:02 | Politics, Pandemic, and the Straw That Broke the Camel’s Back
• 15:42–17:42 | Changing Notions of Harm and Therapists’ Roles
• 19:41–21:29 | Reconciling: When and How Does It Happen?
• 22:17–23:56 | Emotional Impact and Whether Estrangement Is Healthy
• 24:29–26:06 | Strategies for Maintaining Relationships Across Political Divides
• 26:56–29:54 | Hosts’ Personal Experiences Navigating Family Conflicts
• 29:54–31:16 | The Importance of Mutual Commitment to Family Bonds

Summary

The episode delivers a nuanced look at a complex and personal topic, showing that while family estrangement is becoming more visible and perhaps more common, the reasons are diverse and deeply tied to evolving social standards, therapy culture, and increasing political polarization—though often catalyzed by pandemic-era conflicts as much as (if not more than) national politics. Despite the pain and liberation both sides may feel, full reconciliation is rare, and maintaining some degree of connection—however fraught—tends to be best where possible.

The discussion closes on a hopeful, pragmatic note: focusing on shared interests and keeping communication open, however imperfectly, can sustain family ties through periods of conflict, even as boundaries and expectations around those relationships continue to change.