← The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway
The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway
How Much Money You Need to Be Happy, Returning After Parental Leave, and Imposter Syndrome
00:19:50
Loading summary
Transcript9 lines
- [00:01]
Scott Galloway
Not all journalism is the same. Take the Guardian. Our coverage has something unique fierce independence. Nobody owns us or tells us what we can and can't say, so we're free to report the whole picture. We connect what's happening in Washington to the rest of the globe, expose corruption wherever we find it, and give fresh perspective on everything from wellness and soccer to culture, the climate, and more. Read, watch and listen to the Guardian for free@theguardian.com avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start? Thumbtack knows homes, so you don't have to don't know the difference between matte paint, finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is. With thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro, you just have to hire one. You can hire top rated pros, see price estimates and read reviews all on the app. Download Today. Support for this show comes from Strawberry Me. Be honest. Are you happy with your job or are you stuck in one you've outgrown or never wanted in the first place? Sure, you can probably list the reasons for staying, but are they actually just excuses for not leaving? Let a career coach from Strawberry Me help you get unstuck. Discover the benefits of having a dedicated career coach in your corner. Go to Strawberry Me Unstuck to claim a special offer. Welcome to Office Hours from Prophecy. This is the part of the show where we answer questions about business, big tech, entrepreneurship, and whatever else is on your mind. If you'd like to submit a question for next time, you can send a voice recording to officehoursoffertgmedia.com Again, that's officehoursopropertymedia.com or post a question on the Scott Galloway subreddit and we just might feature it in our next episode. What a thrill. First Question.
- [01:54]
Listener from London
Hey Prof. G. Longtime listener, first time caller, and as an American living in London, I also want to say it's been really great to get your insight on life abroad. My question is around building wealth. You talk a lot about how money can bring happiness up to a certain extent and that over a certain threshold it doesn't make you any happier. But it seems the more I get smart about investing and learn to save and just generally provide for my family and my future, I become a little bit more obsessed with money than I'd like to be. And it also seems that in order to become truly wealthy, like you said in the past, you do have to kind of be obsessed with it. You have to learn how to build Money and talk about money and think about money. But the more I think about money I find, the less happier it makes me. How do I strike a balance? And is this something that you advise? Do we all have to be economic animals to use a word that you've used before? And is there a way to become comfortably wealthy in this world without being overly obsessed with it? Thanks for all you do. Again, thanks for your response.
- [03:12]
Scott Galloway
Oh, gosh, we're going to need a bigger boat. I would argue you are where you're supposed to be or you are what is expected of. You sound like a young man. First off, I think men should take economic responsibility for their household or assume that they're going to be the economic driver of their household. And sometimes, quite frankly, that means getting out of the way and being more supportive of your partner if he or she happens to be better at this whole money thing than you. My partner was working at Goldman Sachs, and I was starting my business, making a lot more money than me. We had two babies at home struggling to feel economically secure in New York. But being economically obsessed or focused is probably a better word, I think is very important for a young man. You are going to be unfairly, disproportionately evaluated based on your economic power. I have two addictions. I'm addicted to money, and I'm addicted to the affirmation of others. I think it's important to do an assessment of your addiction. Addiction is an instinctual response to things that are traditionally. There's a dearth of whether it's salty food, sugar, and money. And my addiction to money and the affirmation of others has haunted me for a long time. I didn't grow up with a lot of money. I very soon figured out that if I wanted my mom to have the healthcare that she needed, I would need to make money. I figured out that being more interesting to other men and more attractive to women meant making a lot of money. And I became obsessed with it. And quite frankly, it cost me my hair. It cost me my first marriage, and it was worth it. In a capitalist society, money offers you opportunities. Better healthcare, better health, more opportunities for your kids. So I'm not sure being obsessed with it is a bad thing at your age. And this notion of balance. And this is kind of where your question goes. How do I maintain balance? I think balance is a myth. I think you just kind of decide when you're going to have balance. I have a lot of balance now because I had almost no, none when I was your age. I just Worked all the time. I worked for 25 years. And by the way, it's not necessarily the right way. It's my way, but it may not be the right way. This is what it means to be economically secure. You can easily cover your living expenses and your burn at some point. Rich. Going from economically secure to rich is your burn is less than your passive income. So you get to a point where you have enough money in the bank, where assuming a 6% return, that covers your burn. So what people constantly focus on is how much money they make. Well, no, it's not even that. It's how much money you save and have invested that's spinning off passive income. And what people really don't focus on is how much they spend. My father, between his Royal Navy pension and Social Security, made about $48,000 a year and spent, I think, $42,000. And he's rich. Didn't need to, you know, anything he did was not about money. I have another friend who is, and I use this example a lot, the head of a large division, 1,200 people of a bulge bracket investment bank makes between 3 and 10 million a year, sometimes 12 or 15. In between. His ex wife, his NetJets card, his home in the Hamptons, his master of the universe lifestyle, which he believes understandably is entitled to, hasn't been able to save a lot of money. And there's no way he's close to the passive income required for his berm. So economic security is a function of your ability to save money, not even necessarily how much you make, but how much you save and then your ability to manage your burn. I don't think it's unhealthy to be obsessed now in terms of day to day. What I tried to do when I had little kids was have blocks of time where I tried to put the phone away and try to be focused on the family and the kids, but also having alignment with your partner. All right, we are going to sacrifice some level of economic trajectory to spend more time with the kids and each other. So that means we need to lower our burn. I think there's misalignment sometimes, as one partner believes. You know, I used to have a lot of tension with my partner. I'm like, no one's going to pay me 3 million bucks a year to come home and stare into your fucking eyes and hang out with the kids all day. If that sounds angry. I used to get very angry that I was working so goddamn hard for our family. I thought, and any like, amount of Shit that I wasn't spending enough time with the family. It's like, well, connect the fucking dots. There's that anger again. There's that anger again. But as I've gotten older, I realized, okay, at a certain point, the, the whole reason you want economic security is to free you up from the anxiety of relationships. And what would be a tragedy is to get to any reasonable semblance of economic security and not take advantage of that and enjoy time with your family. And also at the end of your life, you're going to be totally focused on what was good or not so good about your relationship. So money is just a means to an end to take stress out of those key relationships. So one along the way, trying to find blocks of time during the day or during the year. I have someone very close in my life that has been working on a project for so long and is constantly not making trips and okay, at some point you realize you're going to drop dead and all you will have done is not done shit with your family such that you could try and get this economic security that just always seems to be just outside of your grasp. So making a practice, whether it's date night, night feedings with your kids, just certain times where you are going to be really engaged. So what do you want it to get to? You want to get to that point where you can sit down and evaluate what is really important to me. And spoiler alert, it's relationships and finding the time and the energy and taking some of that capital out of your work life, which is a position of privilege which most people never get to and focus on what's really important. Anyways, my brother, trade offs and alignment with your partner. Thanks very much for the question. Question number two.
- [08:47]
Ashley from Sweden
Hey, Scott, Ashley here from Sweden. I'm really loving the podcast. Thank you for all the work you do supporting young men. It's been really eye opening to listen to the podcast and listen to your speeches over the years and it's given me a lot of nuggets of wisdom that I try to spread and share as much as I can and live by myself. I'm coming to the end of nine months of parental leave. It's one of the luxuries of living in Sweden. I have loved it. It has been wonderful. I would do this all the time if we could economically afford it and I'm sure a lot of others would. I'm not nervous to go back to work per se and I'm not work shy in any way whatsoever. I have a good job Good salary. Everything ticks along as it should. But I am lacking a sense of motivation or purpose, I guess, in this example, I think it's just because of changing context and coming from something so meaningful to something that might take me a while to get back into. What would be your tips for me settling back in? I appreciate you don't know anything about the role itself, but what would be your tips to really stand out again and make myself relevant after this long break?
- [09:51]
Scott Galloway
Break.
- [09:52]
Ashley from Sweden
Thank you so much.
- [09:53]
Scott Galloway
Such an interesting question. And the honest answer is I have no experience here. I didn't take two weeks off in a row until I was, I think, 45. So you've kind of gone into a different ecosystem and developed a different set of skills, and now you're being asked to kind of go play. You know, you were an F1 driver, then you went and became a tennis star, and now you got to go back to being an F1 driver. So it's going to be. It's going to be an adjustment. You know, I'm not sure I have any real insight other than try and get into it. Realize it's going to be difficult. Try and have an honest conversation with your partner around. What's easier? Not so easy, but the reality. Whenever we have someone go out on maternity leave, I say there's a one in three chance. And there's data here that after six months, they decide they can't, they want to be at home and they leave. Especially if they're fortunate or blessed enough to have a partner who's doing well economically. That doesn't happen as much with men. I don't think they feel the same pull. Now, that's not to say all men, everyone's a little bit different. But what would be my advice? I don't know. Try and be patient with yourself. Forgive yourself. Realize it's going to be an adjustment. You know what I would say? I would say people remember the beginning and the ends. Now, what do I mean by that? When you come back, I would make a real effort the first 30 days to kind of really bring your A game, work really hard to take people out to coffees, reestablish your brand, really kind of come to play. It's a bit of a reset button. The Etch A Sketch has been shaken over the last nine months. People sort of forget you and your brand, and they won't remember how you show up, at least initially, the perception of you. So I would really write down, okay, what do I want to change about my perceptions of work? My strengths the way I equip myself at work and use this as an opportunity to try and really reestablish and strengthen your brand. Because the first 30 days back we'll have a disproportionate impact on people. Also not as relevant to you, but relevant to young people. People also remember how you leave. I always said if you walk out the door or go to another job, really resist the temptation to stick up the middle finger or not bring it. Do everything you can to be gracious and really leave on good terms because people remember how you leave. I remember working at Morgan Stanley and our most talented analyst left after three years and said some unkind words which were probably true about our bosses and I thought three years of working our ass off and our brand is basically dictated by. In fact, she was a bit of a jerk on the way out the door. Anyways, my only advice here, write down what you like about your brand at work, what you don't like, what you're going to prove, and try and really cement those associations, those aspirational associations in your first 30 days back and realize it's going to be an adjustment. But Jesus Christ, nine months off. Let's all move to Sweden. Jesus, good for you, man. Good for you. Anyway, sorry, not more insightful here. Thanks for the question. We'll be right back after a quick break. Support for the show comes from the Freedom From Religion Foundation. Let's talk roi Return on indoctrination. Vouchers are defunding public education and propping up private religious schools. At the same time, states are mandating religious displays and appointing unqualified chaplains in place of trained staff. This isn't innovation, it's regression. The Freedom From Religion foundation wants to be the firewall. FFRF uses litigation, lobbying and media to defend the separation of church and state and keep your tax dollars funding education, not ideology. Visit FFRF US School or text Scott to 511-511 that's Scott to 511511 or FFRF US School message and data rates may apply. Do you want a functioning society? It starts with secular schools. Support for the show comes from groons. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, yada yada yada. The truth is that even if you enjoy fruits and vegetables, it can still be tedious to get all the nutrients your body needs. So here's a tip. Add grunds to the mix. Grunds isn't a multivitamin, a greens gummy or a prebiotic. It's all of those things. And then some at a fraction of the price. And bonus, it tastes great. All Gruyns Daily Gummy snack packs are vegan nut gluten dairy free with no artificial flavors or colors and they're packed with more than 20 vitamins and minerals with more than 60 nutrient dense ingredients in whole foods. And for a limited time you can try their Gruni Smith Apple flavor just in time for fall. It's got the same snackable, packable full body benefits you've come to expect, but this time these taste like you're walking through an apple orchard in a cable knit sweater, warm apple cider in hand, grab your limited edition Gruni Smith Apple Grunts available only through October. Stock up because they will sell out. Get up to 52% off when you go to Grunt Gruns Co that's G R U N S Co and use the code prop G support for the show comes from LinkedIn. It's a shame when the best B2B marketing gets wasted on the wrong audience. Like imagine running an ad for cataract surgery on Saturday morning cartoons or running a promo for this show on a video about Roblox or something. No offense to our Gen Alpha listeners, but that would be a waste of anyone's ad budget. So when you want to reach the right professionals, you can use LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn has grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals and 130 million decision makers according to their data. That's where it stands apart from other ad buys. You can target buyers by job title, industry, company role, seniority, skills, company revenue, all so you can stop wasting budget on the wrong audience. That's why LinkedIn Ads boasts one of the highest B2B return on ad spend of all online ad networks. Seriously, all of them. Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a free $250 credit for the next one. Just go to LinkedIn.com Prof. That's LinkedIn.com Prof. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome back. Our final question is from Reddit. Prof. Wfls says.
- [16:09]
Dan from New York
Hi Prof. G. You often speak about your upbringing with a single how it affected you early in life. I come from a similar background and have been able to find professional success after some early missteps in life. Today I find myself in my first corporate role where I am often in rooms full of executives and more senior managers. As I navigate this, I notice that most of these people are much colder and more serious than I'm used to and I sometimes have trouble engaging with them. That has led me into what I will call class based imposter syndrome. I have the feeling that I am not adhering to some unspoken cultural norms that more wealthy educated people can instantly pick up on. Am I overthinking this? What was your experience like as a successful person with a working class background? And do you have any thoughts on how I can overcome these feelings as I adjust to this new role? Thanks, Dan from New York.
- [16:56]
Scott Galloway
Dan, Imposter syndrome is something we all have. Every context I've ever been in, whether, you know, I fooled him getting into ucla, I fooled him getting a job at Morgan Stanley, I fooled him getting into graduate school. That's just natural. And you should have a little bit of imposter syndrome. Cause if you're not in rooms where you sort of don't deserve to be in, you're not trying that hard, the last thing you want to do is be overqualified or the most qualified person in the room. I always joke that if I'm, you know, I need to be the oldest and least best looking or ugliest person in any room I want to be in. You also want to be a little bit intimidated. And everyone, not everyone, but the majority of people who get into UCLA or end up in a job or end up in a conference room with senior level executives feel a little bit like they fooled them. Unless they're arrogant or sociopath. So that's a natural inclination. What you generally find out is that there's a reason you're there. And I do think it's a little bit different for a man. And that is, I think that corporate America is so sick of the unearned privilege that men have garnered for the last several thousand, much less several decades in the US that there is, I find, generally speaking, when you're in a new environment, you want to try and listen a decent amount and choose your words carefully. I just think an economy of words, especially among men right now is really appreciated, who tend to, at least in the meetings I was in in the 80s 90s and odds dominate a conversation. So how do you get past this? You kind of do the work. And that is Muhammad Ali used to say that all his fights were won outside the ring, that it was training and he hated every minute of it. But it's true, we see the hundred meter dash, right? But Usain bolt trained for 25 years and was in the gym and eating the right foods and stretching and doing all this work such that that whatever it is, nine or ten second race would look amazing. I would say that for the first six or 12 months, until you're really confident about what you're saying in these meetings, that the way you show up is by training like crazy, and that is really show yourself outside of those meetings. And that is a certain level of work, certain level of decency, being seen as a team player. Constantly advocate for others and compliment others and share credit and observe. Kind of read the room for a while. Whenever I go into a new setting, what I have found out, and one of the mistakes I made as a younger man was I assumed that I found out that I was smarter than I thought and they weren't as dumb as I had hoped. And that is, I'd make these big sweeping statements and insights and then realize, like, okay, that's just not accurate, or they already thought of this. Let me rewind. It's natural to have imposter syndrome. If you have imposter syndrome, it means you're in the right room because you're in a room of impressive people. They have you there for a reason. In terms of the first six months, 12 months, listen more than you speak and also do your training and your stretching and your weightlifting and all of your eating well outside of the room, which is work hard, advocate for others, be a great team player, and then you're kind of. You're going to find your spot in those meetings and know when you can add value and know when you can't and try and not give in to the inclination when you're first in a senior meeting of trying to show how smart you are and watch yourself speak. I do that all the time, and that is I say shit in board meetings where I say it because I think it'll make me look smart. As opposed to does this really add value? Are people going to learn from this comment or am I just trying. Am I just watching myself speak? Try not to watch yourself speak. Generally, say when you're curious or you want questions or have something to contribute and do your training outside of. Outside of the meeting. But imposter syndrome, that's just a healthy part, meaning you're making progress and you're ambitious. Thanks for the question. That's all for this episode. If you'd like to submit a question, please email a voice recording to officehoursoprophagmedia.com Again, that's officehoursofgymedia.com or if you prefer to ask on Reddit, just post your question on the Scott Galloway subreddit and we just might feature it in an upcoming episode. This episode was produced by Jennifer Sanchez. Our assistant producer is Laura Gennair. Drew Burroughs is our technical director. And thank you for listening to the Propg pod from Propg Media.