The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway

Episode: How Technology Is Changing Love and Work — with Esther Perel
Release Date: August 21, 2025
Guest: Esther Perel – Psychotherapist, best-selling author, host of “Where Should We Begin?”

Overview

In this episode, Scott Galloway sits down with acclaimed relationship expert Esther Perel to explore how technology, remote work, and shifting cultural norms have transformed our professional and personal relationships. They discuss the challenges of building connection in a digital age, the implications of remote and hybrid workplaces, the so-called “mating crisis,” intergenerational changes in intimacy, and practical advice to foster better relationships at work and home. With Esther’s unique blend of data-driven insight and deep empathy, the conversation is both enlightening and urgent.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pillars of Strong Workplace Relationships (03:17)

Esther Perel outlines four foundational elements for healthy relationships at work, grounded in both intuition and Culture Amp’s data:

• Trust: “Do you have my back? Can I rely on you?...Trust as the glue that seals interdependence, that seals loyalty, that seals community...” (03:30)
• Belonging: “If I belong to a group, I am part of something bigger than myself...” (03:54)
• Recognition: “I value, I matter, I’m important, I make a difference. So the belonging is what the group offers me, and the recognition is how it sees me from an individual perspective.” (04:10)
• Collective Resilience: “Adaptability and flexibility to circumstances... Collective resilience is the ability of the system to tap into its resources to stay relevant, competitive, alive...” (04:47)

Memorable Quote:

“No matter how much we went around and around, we came back to these and then they got validated...Trust, belonging, recognition, and collective resilience.”
— Esther Perel (05:45)

2. Remote Work, Technology, and Social “Atrophy” (06:32)

Esther describes remote work as both a response to and amplifier of an existing trend toward social isolation:

• Loss of Social Skills: “It’s a de-skilling. It's the loss of the playground...all these situations where people have had to interact...” (08:08)
• Impact on Emotional Development: Fewer opportunities for young people—especially new entrants to the workforce—to develop relational skills, leading to a “social atrophy.” (09:08)
• Generational Divide: “We are five generations in the workplace at this moment with very, very different relationship experiences.” (09:17)

Memorable Quote:

“Remote work amplifies social atrophy… It's a combination of remote work with predictive technologies, with self-imposed isolation and with the loss of the playground.”
— Esther Perel (08:26)

3. The Changing Nature of Love and the “Mating Crisis” (09:25)

Scott raises declining stats about relationships and parenthood among young people, and Esther reframes the issue:

• Capstone vs. Cornerstone Relationships:
  • Historically, romantic partnerships were the cornerstone; now, relationships increasingly “capstone” one’s life after career and personal milestones.
  • “We’ve shifted from a cornerstone model…to a capstone model that takes place in the late 20s, early to middle 30s.” (10:55)
• Relationship Energy:
  • Women often redirect romantic energy into friendships/work; men struggle more with the absence of romantic connections. (12:34)
  • “Men have centered their relational lives in their family…There’s been an atrophy of their friendships into the family.” (13:21)

4. Technology, Artificial Intimacy, and the Creation of a “New Species” (15:19)

Esther introduces the idea of a fundamentally new kind of (asocial, asexual) young male, driven by:

• Artificial Intimacy:
  • “We are living in a world…surrounded with predictive technologies…presenting a life that is basically frictionless, polished, smooth…relationships and people are unpredictable and imperfect.” (15:55)
• Loss of Adaptability and Flexibility: Overreliance on technology’s frictionlessness reduces our ability to cope with unpredictability and human flaws.
• The Workplace’s New Role:
  • Workplaces are now responsible for much of the “existential, economical and emotional needs”—especially for those with prolonged periods of being single. (19:18)

Notable Statistic:

“74% of food that is cooked in a restaurant is not eaten in the restaurant. I find that an amazing number.”
— Esther Perel (15:38)

5. Workplace Romance: Risk, Reward & Reality (22:52)

Discussion turns to romance at work — rules, risks, and the reality:

• High Frequency: “My understanding is about 1 in 3 relationships began at work or in a professional context.” — Scott Galloway (22:52)
• Real Social Data Points:
  • Esther: “Work is a social situation where meeting, making friends…it’s not just romantic relationships, it’s making friends, developing intimacies, tight bonds…” (25:01)
• Digital Courtships:
  • Current dating largely happens in anonymous, isolated digital spaces, which lack the embeddedness and accountability of workplace or communal connections.

6. Re-socialization — Advice to Institutions and Individuals (27:40)

Esther prescribes broad solutions:

• Encourage Free Play and Group Activities: “Anything that creates free play on the streets…group activities, singing together, moving together…” (27:44)
• In-Person, Intentional Interaction: Both at schools and at work, intentional, deliberate opportunities for connection must be part of the mission.
• Soft Skills Are Now Survival Skills:
  • “Relationships in the workplace are no longer just soft skill...They are your competitive edge. They are directly connected to culture, engagement…Performance.” (30:40)
• Banish Phones, Foster Storytelling: Policies like banning phones in key settings and facilitating storytelling can reinvite curiosity and presence.

7. Esther’s Card Game: Fostering Connection at Work and Home (33:54)

• Storytelling as Connection: “If you tell a story, I can understand you better...It taps at so many levels: connection, intimacy, curiosity, conflict...” (33:56)
• Practical Tool: Esther describes her card game, designed to prompt meaningful conversations in both online and in-person teams. Example prompts:
  • “The skill I wish I got to use more…”
  • “The feedback I wish I’d heard sooner…” (35:12)
• Impact:
  • “There is a completely different atmosphere, energy, mood…” (35:32)

8. Remote, Hybrid, or In-Person — What Actually Works? (36:07)

• Hybrid as the Sweet Spot:
  • “I'm definitely an advocate for hybrid...but I make sure I see them [clients] regularly. It’s a completely different session.” (36:35)
• Mandatory Returns Are Not Enough:
  • “It’s not enough to just mandate people to come back to work. It’s everything you’re going to do to re-socialize.” (37:34)
• A Generation Lacking Social Skills:
  • “You’re getting a whole generation of people who have a paucity of social skills at a level we’ve never seen.” (37:57)

9. Family, Upbringing, and the “Unofficial Resume” (40:02)

Esther’s framework for parents and children:

• Our History Shapes Us: “When you enter an adult romantic relationship, you come with your family history…Where you learn to love, how you learn to love…” (40:30)
• Explicit Value Transmission:
  • “Today…advice comes from everywhere, values are less an integrated whole...you have to be very vocal and clear with your children of what is important.” (42:01)
• Feelings vs. Duties:
  • “We’ve put feelings above values...The right thing to do is not necessarily what you feel like, but what is your duty as part of a relational system...” (43:10)

10. Romance, Friendship & Loneliness Among Youth (45:30)

• Quantity vs. Quality of Relationships:
  • “They have a thousand virtual friends, but no one to feed their cat, or pick them up at the airport...” (46:29)
• Community Across Generations:
  • “Love is what matters...across different relational constellations, generations...living with people of all generations, working with people of all generations is unmatched for the young and old.” (47:20)
• Leaders Must Believe in Connection:
  • “Even us…if we had met in person, we would have had at least 5, 10, 15 minutes of talking to each other and what’s going on...” (49:43)

11. Evolving Gender Roles at Home and Work (52:32)

Scott asks about the surge in families where the woman is the breadwinner:

• Context for Divorce Rates:
  • “The rate of divorce went up…when women became economically independent, not when men became economically dependent.” (53:26)
• Broader Systemic Issues:
  • “The model is weak…because the nuclear family puts a tremendous amount of strain...because there are no social structures to support families…especially in the United States…” (54:49)
• Norms are Flexible:
  • “Norms have shifted. Always. The meaning of the child has totally changed…so has the meaning of the grandparents…” (55:09)

12. Parenting Teenagers: Coping with Separation (57:14)

Scott voices personal struggles as his sons become more independent.

• Stay Engaged Through Play & Shared Experiences:
  • Esther: Try her storytelling card game with teens—play “invites truth...adjacent reality called play.”
  • “Travel with them…plan something you know is interesting…traveling together is being on an adventure...it is pretty much unbeatable” (61:55)
• Maintain Rituals & Shared Activities:
  • “For this phase…plan something, go alone, not the whole family, with each child.” (61:24)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Artificial intimacy, not just artificial intelligence, Is creating a situation where we are…planning our extinction.” — Esther Perel (15:54)
• “What is it that human beings can do that AI can’t do yet?...for which you need trust, a sense of belonging, and recognition, and collective resilience?” — Esther Perel (31:20)
• “Relationships in the workplace are no longer just soft skill…They are the new bottom line.” — Esther Perel (31:25)
• “If a school doesn’t ban phones…that’s the ABC…You begin with that and retrain people.” — Esther Perel (32:46)
• “We’ve put feelings above values...That’s a shift that needs to be re-equilibrated.” — Esther Perel (43:10)
• “The fundamental question is, what are we gonna do with that messiness of human life, that those aspects of intimacy that are much less shiny and much less glowing?” — Esther Perel (50:15)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:17 — Four pillars of workplace relationships
• 06:32 — Social atrophy, remote work, generational divides
• 09:25 — Young people, the “mating crisis,” and romantic energy reallocation
• 13:21 — Gender, happiness, and the value of relationships for men
• 15:19 — Tech-driven social changes; artificial intimacy
• 19:18 — The role of work in fulfilling emotional needs
• 22:52 — Workplace romance, risks, and realities
• 27:40 — How to resocialize youth and employees; value of play
• 33:54 — Esther’s card game and storytelling—practical connection tools
• 36:35 — Hybrid work over full-time returns; need for deliberate re-socialization
• 40:30 — Childhood foundations of adult relationships; transmitting values
• 45:30 — Quality vs. quantity in young people’s relationships; leadership in social settings
• 52:32 — Gender roles, breadwinning, and broader societal factors
• 57:14 — Parenting older kids, using play and travel to maintain connection

Episode Takeaways

• Technology and remote work are causing a profound decline in everyday social skills, with particularly strong effects on younger generations.
• Healthy relationships—at work and at home—require deliberate cultivation of trust, belonging, recognition, and collective resilience.
• Romantic and friendship patterns are shifting due to extended singleness, digital dating, and declines in classic “cornerstone” relationship models.
• Organizations and communities must prioritize opportunities for intentional human connection—not as a “soft” luxury, but as an existential necessity.
• Play, storytelling, and shared physical experiences (including travel) remain powerful tools to maintain—or recover—connection in families and teams.

For more insights:
Follow Esther Perel’s work on Where Should We Begin? and connect with Scott Galloway at Prof G Media.