Scott Galloway (0:00)

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Prav G (0:39)

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Scott Galloway (1:52)

Welcome to Office Hours with Prav G. This is the part of the show where we answer questions about business, big tech, entrepreneurship and whatever else is on your mind. Just a reminder, you can now catch office hours every Monday and Friday. That's right, two episodes a week. If you'd like to submit a question for next time, you can send a voice recording to officehoursovitudemedia.com Again, that's officehoursoffitudemedia.com or post your question on the Scott Galloway subreddit and we just might feature it in our next episode. First Question Our first question comes from the relevant elephants on Reddit. God, the best names in the world. They ask hey Prof. G. You said mandatory service could help donations. Loneliness epidemic I volunteer at Animal Rescues in LA la and I'm literally the only man there I've asked on Reddit how to get more men involved. And the top answers were, that's a woman's job or I don't have time. I don't buy that and I don't think you do either. So how do we reach these men? How do we convince them that volunteering is masculine and actually good for their social lives too? First off, thanks for doing that. I feel a little bit self conscious lecturing about volunteering because I give a lot of money away, but I don't give much of my time away. I like to think that I'm generous with everything but my time. So occasionally I'll do some volunteer work or spend time with young men, but I don't, I'm. I don't show up to food kitchens and shit like that. And I should, I just, I don't know, lazy, selfish. So I don't want to lecture people about it. What I would say is that I had Dan Harris on the pod and he writes about anxiety and purpose. Very thoughtful guy. He has a really wonderful podcast called 10% happier. And he, a couple things that he said really stuck with me is that one, action absorbs anxiety. If you are, I have someone in my life right now that has like crazy tooth pain and is worried at something with her head, had a head injury. And I'm like, okay, let's get you in to see a neurologist like tonight or tomorrow morning and a dentist like. And immediately she felt better because action absorbs anxiety. If you're worried about something, just immediately move to action to try to address it and you're going to feel better. Also, the other thing you said that a great way to sort of practice, to sort of help you get out of a funk or depression is to help others. And that is, it gives you a sense of purpose. You get out, you meet other people, makes you feel important, makes you feel masculine. I think that if you're feeling down, getting out of your own head and start focusing on service, helping others I think is a great way to kind of address maybe if you're feeling a little bit down or a little bit depressed. So I think volunteer work is an outstanding idea in terms of how to get more people to volunteer at dog shelters. You know, I don't know, go on your social media feed and show all the cool dogs. And it's so funny. It's funny you said that. I spoke at a conference in Palm beach about three months ago and we were talking, I was talking about mating and the dynamics of mating. And he came up to me and he was this shorter guy, like not unattractive but not attractive. Like not the kind of guy I would think would do well on dating apps. And he said that he met his wife at a dog shelter and that his wife, he claims, is much higher character and much hotter than him, but she was really drawn to him because of his kindness and his service, which I thought was actually pretty interesting. I do think I'm trying to think how you appeal to dudes here. I do think it's probably a really good way to meet friends. And also it's just a great rap at a bar, you know. Well, when I was volunteering down at the when Bosco, the rescue dog who I was saving from the kill shelter down at the animal shelter I volunteer at. Anyways, I think it's probably a great way to meet friends. And I would say social media and these accounts, these rescue shelters having accounts and opportunities or calls to attention around opportunities to volunteer. And again, just more broadly, I think that a fantastic way to address mild depression or if you're feeling down, is to get out of your own head and start serving in the agency of others. Thanks for your good work. Our second question comes from Redlegs05 on Reddit they ask Prav g you joke about being a narcissist. I think most of us raised on social media are, but we rarely talk about it. Maybe because if we're not successful it just feels shameful. So how do you think narcissism fuels achievement or results from it? And would you ever delete your social accounts other than Twitter? You call them toxic. What's stopping you from actually logging off and signaling some virtue while you're at it? That's an interesting question. So a narcissist, I think is someone who thinks, you know, looks out the window and sees himself to an extent where they lack empathy. And they can even become somewhat sociopathic because everything is just about them. They don't really make much of an effort or think look through the lens of other people's emotions or success. And I think I suffer from some of it. But I think even if someone states are narcissist, it probably means they aren't. And one thing that has having kids, working with people, having had some adversity in my life, having friends from different economic backgrounds, going to a public school where there were people from all different ethnicities and economic backgrounds, I think you're more inclined to become less of a narcissist. Is that true? What's the opposite of narcissism? Empathy. I Don't know. But I think that some of the self absorption I feel or vanity are also embers such that I want to be more successful. The affirmation or the approval of others in being impressive in other people's eyes is definitely a motivating force for me. And I think it's interesting to look at what motivates you around things. And my primary objective or purpose the first 40 years of my life was economic security, which is Latin, forget more money. And why is that? 1. In a capitalist society, all the signals are trying to encourage you to make more money and be more productive, such that you'll go out and buy more Chipotle and go to Disney World and fuel the economy. So every signal is all right, how do you aggregate more money, more power? Well, if you aggregate more money and power, your kids are going to have more opportunity. You're going to be. Men are going to laugh at your jokes, women are going to want to have sex with you. I mean, all of these things are pretty strong motivators in capitalist society. And so I very much bought into that. And also, in a capitalist society, you get to take care of your own when you have money. And my biggest source of stress growing up and even into my 30s and 40s with kids was feeling like I was economically vulnerable. Whether it was investing in companies that were going poorly and worrying that I was failing my children or really my first sort of fear. I had anxiety around money when I was a kid because me and my mom didn't have enough. But the real fear set in when my mom got very sick and I felt those natural, masculine protective instincts to try and take care of my mom. And it was very hard and humiliating because I wasn't able to do it at the level that I expected for myself. And so I figured out pretty early, okay, money matters a lot. And I came, became very focused, and that was. That was my purpose. But as I got older, wanting to be loved, wanting to be, wanting to impress people, wanting to have relevance, all of that, I mean, that's a form. Is that a form? I think that's more vanity than narcissism. But those things are very motivating. And I have thought somewhat to your second part of your question, I thought, at some point I'm just going to go dark off of social media. This is just so fucking stupid. And I'm addicted. I don't have an addictive personality. I drink a lot of alcohol. I don't do a lot of drugs. I do some thc, but I don't think I'm addicted to any of it. I'm one of the 95% of people who manage their substance and their professional and personal lives fairly well. Where I do have an addiction is I'm addicted to the affirmation of others. I care too much about people who I will never meet or their opinion of me. And sometimes it gets in the way of what really matters. And that is the affirmation, love, empathy, and care of people who are close to me. You know, I work. I will trade off personal time for work because I want to impress people and I want to make more money. And then I do slow down and think, what the fuck am I doing? And I'll. Here's a nice thing about money. God, I'm going off script here. There's three buckets. There's things you want to do. I want to hang out with my kids and go to, you know, the, you know, the Arsenal game or Chelsea game or Spurs. We're a house divided. How the did we end up with three teams? Anyways, there's things you have to do, right? Jim Bankoff is going to be a can. He'll want to. He's. He's the CEO of Ox who distributes our podcast. He wants to get together. I have to do that. And I say have to do that. I also want to. I like Jim. He's actually a reasonably nice guy. And there's things you should do. I've been invited to all this shit at can that will be a bunch of people and it'd be good networking and good for my business. And I'm like, the great thing about having money is you can eliminate the should bucket. I no longer do shit. I should no longer do shit. I should. Oh, my God, isn't that nice? I do think, though, that at some point I would like to go dark and just hang out with friends and maybe get involved in, I don't know, trying to add more value on the nonprofit side, maybe write more, hang out somewhere beautiful and just wait for the ass cancer. This whole social media thing, it definitely after I do a lot of it and it's so important. You've got to be on social if you want to market your product, have relevance. I get it. But at some point, I'm going to. You know, every time I spend more than a few hours on social media, I feel like I need to shower. It's like eating a big bag of Skittles. Like, oh, God, was that a good idea? So, yeah, at some point I will. But right now still desperate for your affirmation. Thanks for the question. We'll be right back after a quick break. 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