The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway

Episode: Notes on Being a Man — a Live Conversation with Ben Stiller

Date: November 13, 2025
Featured Guest: Ben Stiller
Theme: Modern Masculinity, Purpose, Fatherhood, Relationships, and Building Meaningful Lives

Episode Overview

This live episode at the 92nd Street Y in Manhattan features a candid, wide-ranging conversation between Scott Galloway and actor/director Ben Stiller. The talk centers on Galloway's latest book, Notes on Being a Man, exploring the state of modern masculinity, the challenges facing young men, and what it means to build a life filled with connection and meaning as a man today. Topics include mentorship, role models, mental health, family, career, relationships, and policy—peppered with humor, personal stories, and memorable moments.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction & Set-up

Timestamps: 03:34–09:37

• Ben Stiller’s Appreciation: Ben opens with a personal introduction, sharing how he became a fan of Galloway through his media appearances and unique turn of phrase. Ben reads off a list of his favorite “Scott Galloway quotes” (05:02), blending humor with admiration.
  • “Tesla is a drunken tourist with a Hublot watch.”
  • “Three things I hate most in life are shoelaces, keys, and passwords.”
  • “You have to let your inner child develop an outer man.”
• Ben’s curiosity:
  • “At one point, before I even met Scott, I was so taken by his turn of phrase… that I literally started a file in my notes app of Scott Galloway quotes.” (04:38, Ben Stiller)
• Shift to Scott’s work: Ben explains his intrigue with Scott’s work on mentoring young men and the “controversial” nature of talking about male struggles in today’s culture.

2. Why Is Talking About Mentoring Young Men Controversial?

Timestamps: 09:37–16:42

• Scott’s Data-driven Context:
  • “If you go into a morgue and there’s five people who died by suicide, four are men… What we really have is a male homeless and a male opiate problem.” (09:41, Scott)
  • Men are disproportionately affected by homelessness, opiate addiction, and incarceration.
• Political Framing:
  • Right-wing approaches see young men’s struggles as a call to return to the 1950s and conflate masculinity with “coarseness and cruelty.”
  • Left-wing discourse often frames male challenges as a zero-sum issue or ignores them, according to Scott.
    • “Empathy is not a zero sum game. Civil rights didn’t hurt white people or gay marriage didn’t hurt heteronormative marriages.” (14:24, Scott)
• The “Gag Reflex”:
  • “The gag reflex is understandable because… when you hear a white dude talking about ‘oh, poor men,’ they immediately have a gag reflex like, oh shit, it’s that Andrew Tate weirdness again, trying to set me back.” (12:33, Scott)
• Changing Nature of Opportunity:
  • Shattered on-ramps to the middle class for young men.
  • Tech and social media sequestering young people into digital spaces, worsening isolation.
• Mothers Leading the Conversation:
  • Progress on discussing men’s issues is driven by mothers noticing their sons struggling (low motivation, poor job prospects, social isolation).
    • “My fans are young men, but my supporters are women. Mothers.” (15:53, Scott)

3. The Makeup of Scott’s Career

Timestamps: 17:21–21:46

• Ben’s playful grilling:
  • “What do you actually do? …I know you’re a professor, but you’re also, like, super rich…” (17:24, Ben)
• Scott’s ‘Three Buckets’:

  • Writing (books, newsletters): 1/3 of time

  • Media (podcasts, TV): 1/3

  • Investments/entrepreneurship: 1/3

  • Teaching (on leave from NYU, but considers himself a teacher)

    • “Greatness is in the agency of others.” (20:19, Scott)
    • “If you want to have outsized opportunities… you do this.”

  • Delegation and partnership: gives away >50% ownership in companies to attract great people.

    “The reason I get to live the life I lead is because I was always able to find really good people, give them a bunch of ownership… Greatness is in the agency of others.” (20:36, Scott)

4. Role Models, Childhood, and Forgiveness

Timestamps: 25:11–33:53

• Scott’s upbringing:
  • Raised by a single, immigrant mother “who lived and died a secretary.”
    • “If someone tells you every day, in small and big ways… that they just think you’re wonderful… you can’t help but start to believe it.” (25:43, Scott)
  • Father absent, multiple marriages, but ultimately forgave him as an adult.
    • “The biggest unlock… was: What kind of son do I want to be? …Hold yourself to that standard and just put away the fucking scorecard.” (29:38, Scott)
  • Importance of not letting relationships be transactional.
• Ben’s reflections:
  • Had loving, present parents—famous comedy duo Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara.
  • Even with a great dad, still faced the challenge of “living in his shadow.”
• Impact of parenthood:
  • Both reflect on how having kids shifted their perspective on parental relationships and emotional connection.

5. Regret and the Limits of Character

Timestamps: 33:53–38:49

• Scott shares a story about his godparents and the consequences of failing to show up:
  • “Quite frankly, I could have found time. I should have found time [to see Carson before she died]. And I’m not proud of that. It’s just a lack of character, right?” (36:08, Scott)
  • The unpredictability and fragility of success, and the importance of relationships over material outcomes.

6. Marriage, Happiness, and the Arc of a Man’s Life

Timestamps: 38:49–49:21

• Marriage & Relationships:
  • Ben and Scott, both in long-term marriages, discuss the data and lived experience:
    • “Widows are happier after their husband dies… Widowers are less happy.” (39:57, Scott)
    • Men benefit from relationships more than women; absence of marriage/partnership increases male risk for substance abuse, anger, isolation.

      “There is nothing like the guardrails of a relationship, and especially marriage.” (41:05, Scott)

  • The arc of happiness: resembles a “big smile”—happiest later in adulthood.
  • The central role of fatherhood and building a family in feeling “sated” and fulfilled.
    • “The only time I have ever felt sated is when I’m with my boys and my partner…” (41:28, Scott)
    • “The happiest people are generally part of a family.” (42:41, Scott)
• Economic Realities:
  • Marriage rates linked to economic security:
    • “Marriage is a new luxury item. 4/5 of people in the top quintile of income earning households get married. Only one in five men in the lowest quintile ever have an opportunity to mate.” (47:23, Scott)
  • Deterioration of young men’s economic prospects endangers social stability.
    • “The natural state of kind of barbarism… is Porsche polygamy, where the few men… get multiple mates and the majority… don’t have any. And a society collapses on itself because those men get angry.” (47:55, Scott)

7. Masculinity in Marriage & Creating Surplus Value

Timestamps: 52:52–56:30

• Ben asks about masculinity’s role in lasting marriages.
• Scott’s three secrets for successful marriage:
  1. Put away the scorecard:
     • "Decide the kind of husband you want to be and always try to be in the plus column." (53:43, Scott)
  2. Express desire and affection:
     • “Always express physical desire, sex and affection. It’s what says, I choose you.” (54:27, Scott)
  3. Never let a woman (partner) be cold or hungry:
     • “Never, ever let a woman be cold or hungry.” (55:22, Scott)
• Surplus Value:
  • An adult man is one who creates more value (economic, emotional) than he absorbs. (53:39, Scott)
  • “The ultimate litmus test is surplus value.”

8. Empathy, Protection, and Masculinity’s Highest Purpose

Timestamps: 59:13–66:49

• Empathy for Others:
  • The “three legs of the stool of masculinity”:
    1. Provider
    2. Protector
    3. Empath (protecting outside your own family)
  • Role models for masculinity should prioritize protection—using privilege and strength to shield the vulnerable.
    • “The ultimate expression of masculinity, full stop, is you plant trees the shade of which you’ll never sit under, right?” (61:35, Scott)
  • Modern leaders (e.g., US presidents, billionaire tech leaders) are failing to model responsible masculinity—highlighting the need for better public examples.
  • Societal healing requires a renewed “alliance between men and women.”
    • “Let’s decide we’re allies again. Instead of finding reasons why it’s the other gender’s fault, let’s get out there.” (66:34, Scott)

9. The Role of Emotions & Repression in Men

Timestamps: 67:25–72:44

• Emotional Expression:
  • Scott didn’t cry from age 29 to 44—not even at his mother’s death or during divorce.
  • “…literally forgot how [to cry]. And then I started again. The advice I would give to any man is… when something moves me, I weep up and I cry.” (68:27, Scott)
  • Encourages men to “lean into crying,” fully experience emotions to “slow life down” and reduce anxiety/anger.
  • Ben and Scott agree that feeling and appreciating the moment is critical to being human and fully experiencing life.

10. Fatherhood, Regret, and Parenting Daughters

Timestamps: 73:08–76:14

• Father of Girls:
  • Scott regrets not having a daughter, mostly out of a sense that daughters care for their fathers.
  • No specific advice, but highlights the profound anxieties fathers experience about providing and parenting.
• Ben jokes: Not the right guy to ask; he (Ben) does have a daughter but doesn’t position himself as an expert.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the challenge of discussing men’s issues:

  “The gag reflex is understandable because… all of that prosperity was largely crammed into the third of the population that was white, male, and heterosexual. So when they hear a white dude talking about ‘oh, poor men,’ they immediately have a gag reflex.”
  (12:33, Scott Galloway)

• On relationships and happiness:

  “The only time I have ever felt sated is when I’m with my boys and my partner…and we know we’ve done something right…this is enough.”
  (41:28, Scott Galloway)

• On role models of masculinity:

  “The ultimate expression of masculinity, full stop, is you plant trees the shade of which you’ll never sit under.”
  (61:35, Scott Galloway)

• On emotional vulnerability:

  “The advice I would give to any man is… when something moves me, I weep up and I cry. And unfortunately it’s gone a little bit overboard. I cried on the View and the Daily Show.”
  (68:27, Scott Galloway)

• On balancing hard realities with hope:

  “You can be the toast of the town. These people had everything. …And I don’t have any Hallmark channel lessons here other than relationships are everything.”
  (36:34, Scott Galloway)

Important Timestamps

• Ben’s introduction & list of favorite Galloway quotes: 04:38–05:52
• The “Gag Reflex” and the controversy of men’s issues: 09:37–16:42
• What does Scott actually do: 17:21–21:46
• Reflections on parents and growing up: 25:11–33:53
• Personal regret and godparent story: 33:53–38:49
• Marriage, family, meaning: 38:49–49:21
• Role of masculinity in marriage: 52:52–56:30
• Empathy and men’s highest purpose: 59:13–66:49
• Repressed emotion and men: 67:25–72:44

Tone and Style

• Open, reflective, robustly data-driven (Scott’s style)
• Wry, warm, and self-deprecating (Ben’s approach, often poking fun at himself and at Scott)
• Mix of humor and pathos—both men are candid about failings, regrets, and the messiness of life

Summary Takeaways

• The conversation blends statistics, personal narrative, and relational advice to illuminate challenges facing men and boys today, without ignoring ongoing issues for women.
• The most fulfilling aspects of life are rooted in meaningful relationships, mentorship, and building something greater than oneself.
• Emotional expression, self-reflection, and leaning into both vulnerability and responsibility are keys to healthy masculinity.
• There’s a societal need for renewed empathy across genders, economic classes, and generations—starting with supporting young men and building diverse alliances.

Recommended for: Anyone interested in modern masculinity, family and career, personal growth, or understanding social challenges through a smart, honest, and entertaining lens.