Podcast Summary: The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway

Episode 374: "What Did Men Do to Deserve This?" — with Jonathan Haidt and Richard Reeves

Date: November 20, 2025
Host: Scott Galloway
Guests: Jonathan Haidt (NYU Stern School of Business), Richard Reeves (American Institute for Boys and Men, Brookings)

Overview

In this wide-ranging and provocative discussion, Scott Galloway hosts Jonathan Haidt and Richard Reeves to explore the contemporary challenges facing young men. The trio delves into trends in male well-being, decline in educational and economic achievements, meaning and purpose, the role of relationships, technology’s impact, gender differences, and actionable policy solutions. Both Haidt and Reeves provide research-backed perspectives and personal anecdotes, and the group candidly discusses criticisms and sensitivities around the topic.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Introduction and Setting the Stage

[02:00–04:24]

• Scott opens with characteristic humor, then introduces Jonathan Haidt and Richard Reeves, noting their academic credentials and personal influence on his own work and public commentary.
• Scott jokes about being "the Kim Kardashian whore of academia," contrasting his role with Haidt and Reeves’ more “legit” scholarship.

2. Pushback and Public Discourse

[05:14–08:02]

• All three reflect on criticism they’ve received for raising issues about men and boys.
• Haidt credits Reeves for “opening the way” to talk about boys without backlash, but notes Scott’s media style “steps on some minds.”
• Reeves distinguishes between good- and bad-faith criticism: “If it's a good faith disagreement... I typically will respond to it. If it's bad faith...I just ignore it.” (Richard Reeves, 07:32)

3. What Makes a Thriving Young Man?

[08:02–14:05]

• Reeves: Thriving young men exhibit “skill and self-efficacy”–a “wind in your sails” agency rooted in both education and relational skills.
• Haidt: Across cultures, boys require difficult, sometimes painful rites of passage to transition to manhood; current technology offers “easy electronic pleasures” and removes the hardships essential for that growth.
• Haidt warns: “When boys don’t have that, they simply don’t make the jump to manhood,” linking this to declines in marriage and sex.

Notable Quote

• “The path to develop skills requires doing hard things…and technology is there to say, don’t do it, just do this, get your dopamine real quick, don’t do hard things.” (Jonathan Haidt, 11:52)

4. Surplus Value & Becoming a Man

[12:22–15:34]

• Galloway discusses teaching his sons about ‘surplus value’: "You are negative value right now... Someday, when you become a man, is when you add surplus value."
• Reeves shares personal anecdotes about labeling his sons ‘cost centers’ until they flip to ‘profit centers.’
• Hard work and institutional “scaffolding” are emphasized as critical, especially for boys.

5. Disconnection and Uselessness: The Problem of Meaning

[16:15–19:51]

• Haidt highlights a sharp post-2012 rise in the number of young people, both boys and girls, feeling “my life often feels useless.”
• Technology is identified as a core culprit for robbing youth, especially boys, of opportunities to be useful and feel meaning.
• Galloway: “All these relationships … all have one thing in common, and that is, they were hard... online synthetic relationships... attempt to make them as easy and as frictionless as possible and they end up being empty calories.”

6. Relationships: Masculinity and Connection

[19:51–24:00]

• Haidt: Happiness is most strongly predicted by relationships—men, more so than women, are at risk of ending up with nothing.
• Reeves: Mature masculinity is “defined through relationships... I don’t think you can be a man alone.”
• Discussion on declining male friendships and risks of relational emptiness.

Gender, Ambition, and ‘Mate Value’

7. Motivations and Gender Gaps

[26:57–29:42]

• Galloway: Men derive greater reward from impacting distant or large-scale things, women from “deep meaningful impact in their direct proximity.”
• Haidt: Men are motivated by status and mate value (competition for resources, social/sexual hierarchy).
  • “Men are more drawn to doing the big spectacular thing...to rise in status for mate value.” (Jonathan Haidt, 29:30)

8. Critique of Essentialist Gender Theories

[30:27–32:48]

• Reeves (pushing back on Jordan Peterson): Differences in averages shouldn't justify massive disparities in fields (like engineering, nursing, CEOs).
• Brings up research challenging the overemphasis of “mate value” in relationship formation, noting human evolution favored small-group compatibility.

Inequality, Opportunity, and Social Risk

9. The Dangers of Social Stratification & Male Disconnection

[32:48–38:22]

• Galloway warns: If societies don’t redistribute wealth and opportunity, a “natural order” returns where a small number of men dominate resources and mating opportunities, leaving many men disenfranchised.
• Haidt: Human societies “are innately hierarchical” and only become egalitarian through deliberate effort; without mobility and opportunities, young men are easily discouraged and lost.
• Reeves: Economic mobility and a strong middle class are critical; when young men don’t see real opportunity, social pathology follows.

Notable Quote

• “The huge achievement of modern societies...has been to share the opportunities more... If you lose that, you lose a huge amount and...the canary in the mine...will be young men.” (Richard Reeves, 37:01)

Internet, Porn, and Masculinity Narratives

10. The “Goon Cave” and Online Extremes

[38:22–43:23]

• Galloway references a viral article about “Gooners” (men who engage in marathon sessions of online pornography), expressing skepticism about its prevalence.
• Haidt sees such trends as “existence proof” of how far disconnected young men can go in toxic digital environments.
• Reeves warns against painting all young men as lost: “Young men are awesome... We have to send the message that we’re with them and...the majority are looking for better ways to be in the world.”

11. Religion, Discipline, and the Search to Be Better

[43:23–45:14]

• Reeves observes small but real movements of young men returning to religion, discipline, “no-masturbation pledges,” and self-improvement.
• The desire for challenge and invitations to be better (Jordan Peterson, “cold plunges”) is strong among young men.

Solutions and Policy Recommendations

12. Education, Policy Shifts, and Institutional Change

[48:56–55:51]

• Scott critiques U.S. higher-ed for “creating artificial scarcity” in admissions, harming young men.
• Reeves: Colleges must launch “all out” efforts to close the enrollment gap and improve outreach to men. The U.S. lags in apprenticeships and trade schools—investment here would help men most vulnerable to academic disengagement.
  • “[Failing to invest in vocational training] is a catastrophe for men in a period where we're getting fewer of them through higher education.” (Richard Reeves, 52:13)
• Haidt: The “biggest bang for the buck” is protecting children from addictive digital environments—age-gating the internet and controlling social media exposure during formative years, especially for boys who are more easily distracted and prone to addiction.

13. Parenting, College, and Status Anxiety

[55:51–59:40]

• Galloway openly confesses stress over his son’s elite college admissions, questioning his own narcissism.
• Reeves offers tough love: parents overestimate the value of elite colleges and impose other-focused prestige anxieties on their children.
  • “You're being a narcissist. What you're doing is making the fundamental mistake of seeing your kid’s educational outcomes as your medal, your badge.” (Richard Reeves, 56:36)
• Haidt notes the systemic “collective action trap” that binds parents and children to competitive prestige, exacerbated by social media. Calls for broadening definitions of success.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Scott Galloway on relationships:
  “Online synthetic relationships... attempt to make them as easy and as frictionless as possible and they end up being empty calories. And I worry that these young men wake up at 30, 40 or older and they never really have a sense of victory.” (18:44)

• Jonathan Haidt on status and purpose:
  “Men are much more at risk of ending up with nothing... for many men, it’s not enough that—like, yes, I raised these children and they're flourishing. I did my job. No, men more often feel the need to have made a mark on the world.” (20:40)

• Richard Reeves on investing in young men:
  “If there aren't these genuine opportunities, economic opportunities to have a good life...you're just going to lose people, and especially you're going to lose young men.” (36:25)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction & Groundwork: 02:00–04:24
• Pushback & Media Discourse: 05:14–08:02
• Definition of Manhood & Surplus Value: 08:02–15:34
• Meaninglessness and Technology: 16:15–19:51
• Male Friendships & Relationships: 19:51–24:00
• Gender Differences in Ambition: 26:57–32:48
• Social & Economic Inequality: 32:48–38:22
• Digital Extremes (“Goon Cave”) & Masculinity Narratives: 38:22–45:14
• Policy Solutions & Parental Anxiety: 48:56–59:40
• Closing Thoughts: 57:53–60:44

Conclusion

The episode concludes with Haidt announcing his forthcoming children’s version of The Anxious Generation and an admission from all three interlocutors of the complexity and urgency in supporting young men. The trio agrees that systemic change—especially in education, digital exposure, and mobility—is crucial, as is empathy for both the pressurized young generation and their parents.

Scott Galloway signs off with his trademark blend of humor and seriousness, promising that this substantive, challenging conversation is “to be continued.”