The Prosecutors After Dark: Playoffs, Projectile Vomiting, and Doctors

Podcast: The Prosecutors
Hosts: Alice and Brett
Date: December 18, 2025
Episode Summary by Section

Overview

In this informal, off-topic “After Dark” episode, hosts Alice and Brett set aside their usual true crime content to candidly discuss recent college football playoff drama, personal parenting mishaps involving projectile vomiting, and experiences with idiosyncratic doctors. Their warm banter and humorous anecdotes create a lively, relatable conversation especially resonant for sports fans and parents alike.

College Football Playoffs: Chaos and Comedy

Discussion Begins: [01:24]

• Alabama vs Auburn Recap:

  • Brett relishes in Alabama’s win while marveling at Auburn’s uncanny ability to lose close games:

    “Auburn is...the best 5 and 7 team you’re ever going to find. They could have won any of those games. They just found ways to lose.” — Brett [01:47]

  • Notable mention of Auburn’s new coach, a Russian immigrant from a military family:

    “When the tanks rolled into Red Square, those were the freedom fighters ... Turns out his family were, like, high ranking officers in the Soviet government.” — Brett [03:28]

• Rivalry & Community

  • The hosts highlight the camaraderie among players versus the animosity among fans:

    “The fans hate each other much more than the players do.” — Brett [04:48] “They’ve all grew up...played each other in high school.” — Alice [04:48]

• Frustrations with the Playoff System

  • Brett lambasts the playoff committee as “the dumbest people in the world”:

    “We have the dumbest people in the world on the committee trying to figure this out. They are complete and utter morons.” — Brett [06:49]

  • The hosts point out how university presidents and athletic directors on the selection committee are disconnected from the sport:

    “What does that have anything to do with it?... Rich people who know nothing about ball.” — Alice [07:41]

  • Brett recognizes the hypocrisy among fans:

    “There are too many people out there who cannot criticize the system when it benefits them, and that’s why the system never changes.” — Brett [08:04]

  • Conversation turns to the arbitrary criteria for playoff selection:

    “So you’re deciding where [they’re ranked] based on one play, that if it went terribly what, are you gonna move them down?” — Alice [09:16]

  • Solutions Proposed:

    • Retired head coaches should run the committee (“That would make total sense.” — Alice [11:10])
    • Nick Saban as “Commissioner of College Football” [12:37]

Holidays and Parenting: Vomit and Resilience

Story Begins: [13:05]

• Alice’s Thanksgiving Ordeal

  • Alice’s son (“Esquanto”) eagerly plans to participate in Thanksgiving festivities but falls violently ill the night before:

    “He comes home on Wednesday and he’s like, ‘I don’t feel good.’ Projectile vomits everywhere.” — Alice [13:16]

  • She lovingly recounts his determination to join the feast:

    “He had Thanksgiving planned out...he was projectile vomiting all night.” [14:06–15:16]

  • Poignant, humorous moment as her son, too weak even to eat, army-crawls to his set place at the table just to enjoy the smell and see his wooden spoon:

    “He goes, ‘It smells just like the first Thanksgiving’... I literally almost started crying right there.” — Alice [15:16]

  • His closing words leave an impression:

    “I put him to bed that night...he goes, ‘It was the best Thanksgiving ever.’” — Alice [18:26]

  • Brett’s parent-to-parent moral:

    “Let that be a lesson to all you complainers out there.” — Brett [18:26]

Doctors, Medicine, and Health Quirks

Segment Starts: [18:48]

• Flu Shots Shortage & Tetanus Reality

  • Brett is surprised his doctor’s office doesn’t provide flu shots due to competition from supermarket chains [19:28].
  • Tetanus vaccine and its folklore inspire laughs and reflection:

    “Like, do you die if you get it?... If you stepped on a nail like you’re gonna get tetanus and it was immediate.” — Brett [29:01] “That was like quicksand.” — Alice [28:41]

• Brett’s Unconventional Doctor

  • His doctor is a vegan with strong opinions on diet:

    “She’s like, ‘Sugar has nothing to do with diabetes. It’s all animal fat.” — Brett [21:40] “So basically, her thing is, like, no meat at all. No dairy at all.” — Brett [22:59]

  • Brett struggles to align with her worldview but appreciates her practical flexibility:

    “I’ll put you on a statin instead. I’m like, okay, you know, whatever.” — Brett [23:34]

  • Alice recalls why she wouldn’t choose the same doctor:

    “I don’t know that we’d get along.” — Alice [23:59]

• Tetanus Shots and Medical Anecdotes

  • Alice’s husband postpones his tetanus shot only to need one after stepping on a nail [26:09].
  • Brett reminisces on costly vaccines for travel:

    “There’s this disease in Southeast Asia...we have a vaccine for it, but it’s $800. And I was like, ah, taking my chances.” — Brett [27:21]

  • Both laugh about malaria medication and its side effects (“Technicolor Man World and Technicolor dreams” — Alice [27:43]).

Parenting War Stories & Bodily Fluids

Segment: [28:31]

• Children’s development and teething woes.
  • Alice describes the horror of her son growing eight teeth at once, with corresponding cysts and sleepless nights [31:06].
  • Brett observes:

    “It’s funny how many of our shows just devolve into, like, bodily fluid.” — Brett [32:39] “This is our stage of life.” — Alice [32:44]

Holiday Traditions and Hallmark Christmas Movies

Begins: [32:46]

• Christmas Trees:

  • Fake vs real debate, tree farms, holiday logistics with young kids [32:56–34:09].
  • Alice: “In a perfect world, I would love a real tree, but…the reality of where my life is…I do fake trees.” [33:02]

• Hallmark Movie Bingo:

  • Brett recounts watching recent Hallmark films and describes his “Hallmark Christmas Movie Bingo Card” [35:13].
  • The formulaic plotlines amuse the hosts.
  • On movie tropes:

    “It is utterly ridiculous to think everyone else shuts down at Christmas but you’ve got to be there to start your job literally on Christmas Day.” — Brett [40:14]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Auburn is...the best 5 and 7 team you’re ever going to find.” — Brett [01:47]
• “There are too many people out there who cannot criticize the system when it benefits them, and that’s why the system never changes.” — Brett [08:04]
• “He army crawled…because I had still, of course, set his table with a wooden spoon…’My spoon.’ I was like, I literally almost started crying.” — Alice [15:16]
• “I was like, ah, taking my chances [on not getting a vaccine]…” — Brett [27:21]
• “It’s funny how many of our shows just devolve into, like, bodily fluid.” — Brett [32:39]

Episode Flow and Tone

The episode is honest, meandering, and loaded with good-natured ribbing and dry humor. The hosts fluidly transition between spirited college football rants, heartwarming (and hilarious) family mishaps, and light holiday nostalgia. It’s an entirely content-driven conversation—casual yet relatable, brimming with personality.

Key Timestamps

• [01:24] Football and Auburn’s “ways to lose”
• [06:49] College playoff committee criticisms
• [13:05] Thanksgiving vomiting story
• [19:28] Flu shots, healthcare quirks
• [21:40] Brett’s vegan doctor
• [27:21] Travel vaccines and malaria pills
• [32:56] Holiday trees and Christmas movie season
• [35:13] Hallmark movie plot breakdown

For listeners who missed the episode:
You’ll find zero true crime, but plenty of wit, empathy, and sharp takes on sports, family chaos, and the realities of adult life in “The Prosecutors After Dark.”