309. The psychology of parasocial relationships

Podcast Summary: Episode 309 - The Psychology of Parasocial Relationships

Released on July 1, 2025 by iHeartPodcasts, hosted by Jemma Sbeg.

1. Introduction to Parasocial Relationships

In this episode, Jemma Sbeg delves into the intricate world of parasocial relationships—a phenomenon where individuals form one-sided bonds with media figures, celebrities, fictional characters, and online influencers. Sbeg poses relatable questions to listeners, prompting them to reflect on their own experiences:

Jemma Sbeg (02:27): "Have you ever felt a very strong connection to a YouTuber or a podcaster whose voice you hear every week? Do you follow a specific celebrity on Instagram and are really invested in their relationship, in their friendships, in what they're doing?"

These rhetorical questions set the stage for an in-depth exploration of how these seemingly non-reciprocal relationships impact individuals, especially those in their 20s who are navigating digital immersion and the quest for connection.

2. Historical Context

The concept of parasocial relationships isn't new. It was first introduced in the 1950s by sociologists Donald Horton and Richard Wall. They observed the evolving media landscape with the advent of television and noted how viewers began emotionally engaging with on-screen personalities.

Jemma Sbeg (06:15): "Donald Horton and Richard Wall... wrote a really influential paper called Mass Communication and Parasocial Interaction: Observations on Intimacy at a Distance."

At a time when television was becoming ubiquitous, Horton and Wall meticulously documented how viewers felt personal connections with TV personalities despite the lack of reciprocal interaction. This foundational research laid the groundwork for understanding modern-day parasocial dynamics.

3. Core Characteristics of Parasocial Relationships

Parasocial relationships are defined by several key attributes:

One-Sided Nature: Unlike traditional relationships, these bonds lack mutual recognition. The media figure is unaware of the individual's existence.

Jemma Sbeg (08:45): "Parasocial relationships are always one-sided... the media figure has no personal knowledge of you whatsoever."
Emotional Engrossment: Individuals experience genuine emotions—joy, sadness, loyalty—towards the media figure, mirroring real-life social bonds.

Jemma Sbeg (09:30): "The excitement, the disappointment, the sadness... is felt deeply in our bodies and in our minds."
Illusion of Intimacy: Despite the lack of real interaction, the availability of personal information fosters a false sense of closeness.

Jemma Sbeg (10:05): "There's a powerful illusion of intimacy... you feel like you know all these intimate things..."
Non-Reciprocal Information Flow: Information flows only from the media figure to the individual, not vice versa.

Jemma Sbeg (11:20): "In a real relationship, information flows back and forth... but here, it's a one-way street."
Formation Through Repeated Exposure: Consistent and frequent consumption of content strengthens the perceived bond.

Jemma Sbeg (12:10): "Consistency is a key ingredient... repeated consumption fosters familiarity and a sense of closeness."

4. The Role of Social Media in Amplifying Parasocial Relationships

Social media platforms have exponentially magnified the prevalence and intensity of parasocial relationships. The constant stream of content, often curated to appear authentic, deepens the illusion of a genuine connection.

Jemma Sbeg (14:50): "Online personalities are also really unedited. They sell a highly authentic persona because they know that this is what people want to see."

Platforms like TikTok thrive on repetitive content and personal revelations that make influencers seem relatable and trustworthy. However, Sbeg cautions:

Jemma Sbeg (15:30): "A lot of what you are seeing is not real. Even if it looks really authentic, that authenticity has been created."

The Media Equation Theory is mentioned to explain how humans instinctively interact with media as if it were real, underscoring why parasocial bonds feel so tangible.

Jemma Sbeg (17:05): "Humans often interact with media as if it were real people or places... our social brain interprets cues from media figures through an ingrained lens."

5. Benefits of Parasocial Relationships

Not all parasocial relationships are detrimental. In fact, they can offer significant psychological benefits:

Alleviation of Loneliness: By providing a sense of connection, these relationships can mitigate feelings of isolation.

Jemma Sbeg (19:40): "A 2024 study published in Nature discovered that parasocial bonds actually alleviate feelings of loneliness and help with emotional regulation."
Emotional Support and Comfort: Engaging with favorite media figures can offer solace during tough times.

Jemma Sbeg (20:10): "When you're sad, you listen to your favorite artist and feel comforted... it feels like a friend."
Social Learning and Role Modeling: Celebrities and influencers can serve as role models, shaping values, aspirations, and behaviors.

Jemma Sbeg (22:05): "They help you define your values, your ethical stances, envision career aspirations, and make lifestyle choices."

6. The Dark Side: Unhealthy Parasocial Relationships

While beneficial in moderation, parasocial relationships can become problematic when they cross into unhealthy territories:

Pathological Attachment: At the extreme end, individuals may develop delusions of reciprocity, leading to stalking and invasive behaviors.

Jemma Sbeg (28:20): "People believing that Drew Barrymore is sending them messages through their TV to come and whisk her away."
Replacement of Real Bonds: Over-reliance on parasocial relationships can hinder the formation of genuine, reciprocal relationships, leading to increased isolation.

Jemma Sbeg (33:45): "They can become a replacement for real reciprocal bonds... leading to greater isolation in the long run."
Emotional Turmoil from Media Figure's Actions: When a beloved media figure falters or acts contrary to one's expectations, it can evoke intense grief, anger, and disappointment.

Jemma Sbeg (35:50): "When they do something wrong, it can feel like they've done something wrong to us... severe grief, anger, a sense of betrayal."
Online Abuse and Harassment: Negative parasocial relationships can lead to trolling and abusive behaviors towards media figures.

Jemma Sbeg (36:30): "Parasocial relationships can lead to online abuse and hate comments where people get a kick out of hurting someone they've never met."

7. Managing and Navigating Parasocial Relationships

Jemma offers practical advice on maintaining a healthy balance with parasocial relationships:

Mindful Engagement: Be conscious of how these relationships complement or detract from your life.

Jemma Sbeg (38:25): "Be mindful and conscious around how these figures are complementing your life rather than taking from it."
Digital Detoxes: Regular breaks from social media can help reduce overexposure and reliance on parasocial bonds.

Jemma Sbeg (40:10): "Have a few digital detoxes every now and again... schedule and commit to breaks from social media."
Prioritizing Real-World Interactions: Invest time in developing genuine, reciprocal relationships that offer the depth and vulnerability that parasocial relationships cannot.

Jemma Sbeg (41:20): "Seek out real-world interactions... meet people at the same places, clubs, gyms, and engage in community activities."
Critical Evaluation of Content: Especially when it involves influencers promoting products, assess the authenticity and underlying motives.

Jemma Sbeg (42:15): "Critically evaluate the content you're consuming... much of it is curated to sell you something."

8. Listener Questions and Insights

a. Why Are We So Obsessed with Celebrity Gossip? Sbeg explains that the obsession stems from deep-rooted evolutionary instincts related to social hierarchy and status.

Jemma Sbeg (48:40): "Our obsession with celebrity gossip comes down to our deep-rooted evolutionary instinct around social hierarchy and status."

Gossip serves multiple psychological functions:

Monitoring Social Status: Celebrities act as modern-day royalty, and tracking their status helps individuals gauge their own position within social hierarchies.
Escapism and Catharsis: Engaging with scandalous news provides a distraction and humanizes celebrities, making their struggles relatable.
Entertainment: Novel and sensational stories offer engaging content without the personal consequences of real-life interactions.

b. Can Parasocial Relationships Be Healthy? Absolutely. When maintained appropriately, parasocial relationships can inspire, motivate, and provide comfort.

Jemma Sbeg (55:10): "Parasocial relationships can be a source of inspiration, motivation, and comfort, especially when you relate to the struggles of the media figure."

However, it's crucial to maintain the boundary between being a fan and perceiving the relationship as genuine friendship to prevent negative outcomes.

c. How Does It Feel for the Receiver Being You? Addressing personal experiences, Sbeg shares the challenges she faces as the host in managing listeners' parasocial tendencies.

Jemma Sbeg (49:15): "Sometimes I receive messages that I don't fully understand because I'm a stranger to them... It impacts me emotionally."

She emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and recognizing the ethical implications of engaging with listeners on a personal level.

9. Concluding Thoughts

Jemma Sbeg wraps up the episode by reiterating the dual nature of parasocial relationships. While they can offer significant psychological benefits, it's essential to approach them with mindfulness to prevent over-reliance and ensure they complement rather than replace real-life interactions.

Jemma Sbeg (58:40): "Remember, our brains are wired for connection. These one-sided bonds are a sign of that inherent wiring... harness the benefits by being mindful."

She encourages listeners to engage with content consciously, prioritize genuine relationships, and seek balance in their digital consumption to foster overall well-being.

Notable Quotes:

Jemma Sbeg (02:27): "What in the world is a parasocial relationship? I can almost guarantee that you've experienced one."
Jemma Sbeg (08:45): "Parasocial relationships are always one-sided... the media figure has no personal knowledge of you whatsoever."
Jemma Sbeg (14:50): "Online personalities are also really unedited. They sell a highly authentic Persona because they know that this is what people want to see."
Jemma Sbeg (19:40): "A parasocial bond can actually alleviate feelings of loneliness and help with emotional regulation."
Jemma Sbeg (35:50): "There’s severe grief, there’s anger, there’s a sense of disappointment."
Jemma Sbeg (38:25): "Be mindful and conscious around how these figures are complementing your life rather than taking from it."

Final Thoughts: This episode provides a comprehensive exploration of parasocial relationships, balancing academic insights with practical advice. Jemma Sbeg effectively addresses both the positive and negative aspects, empowering listeners to navigate their digital connections thoughtfully.