Podcast Summary: The Psychology of Your 20s Episode 372: How to Rediscover Your Personality Host: Jemma Sbeg
Release Date: January 8, 2026

Episode Overview

In this solo episode, Jemma Sbeg explores the psychological dilemma facing many young adults: the feeling of losing touch with one’s own personality, passions, and sense of self amid the distractions and monotony of modern life. Drawing on research, personal experience, and actionable strategies, Jemma outlines seven practical tips to reclaim and rekindle the parts of yourself that may feel hidden or lost.

The episode offers encouragement and insight for anyone feeling adrift, anxious, or unfulfilled in their 20s, emphasizing that self-rediscovery is both possible and an act of self-kindness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recognizing the Loss of Personality

• Jemma opens up about her own sense of disconnection:
  • “I may think I know who I am, I rarely actually act out the parts of myself that I most enjoy or that I pride myself on. And because of that, I'm in this really aimless, lonely, hollow, kind of distracted place where like, I don't really know who I am anymore.” (04:17)
• She identifies common symptoms: boredom, anxiety, a sense of monotony (“Groundhog Day”), and lack of clear values or interests.
• The episode goal: practical, evidence-based ways to retrieve and nurture your authentic self.

2. The Nature of Personality

• Personality’s components: genetics (about 50%), environment (about 30%), and “the deliberate choices we make,” which can influence 100% of how those other factors express themselves (07:30).
• Quote: “Becoming who you are means kind of understanding who you've been shaped into so far, and then how you want to shape yourself from here on out—deliberately.” (06:40)
• Refers to Carl Jung: “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” (05:21)

Jemma’s Seven Tips for Rediscovering Your Personality

1. Return to Childhood Joys (13:00)

• Our personalities often become “frozen” between childhood and adulthood.
• Re-awaken old hobbies or playful interests: painting, crafting, sports, pretend play, music.
• Action: Put a childhood activity on your to-do list, just like any adult responsibility.
• Bonus: Listening to nostalgic childhood music acts as an emotional trigger for authenticity.

Memorable quote:
“You don't lose your personality. You freeze it somewhere between childhood and adulthood.” (13:14)

2. Fulfill a Soul Need Daily (17:01)

• “Soul needs” are not about productivity—they’re about humanity: adventure, play, connection, humor, deep enjoyment, sensuality, and creativity.
• Even small moments count: extra time in bed, feeling sunlight, sharing a laugh.
• Action: Make it a priority to satisfy at least ONE soul need every day for a month.

Notable quote:
“Machines don’t have personalities. How can you expect yourself to have a personality if you act like a machine?” (18:06)

3. Seek Geographical Novelty (22:00)

• Changing your environment has a proven psychological effect on creativity, happiness, and sense of self.
• Referenced research by David Gonzalez: novel experiences and environments (new cafes, routes, activities) correlate with happiness and self-understanding.
• Action: Try a new route to work, a different study library, or a fresh local spot.

Quote:
“Your brain was built for newness... when it doesn’t get that, it kind of turns into a zoo animal pacing its cage.” (24:25)

4. Set an Unproductive Side Quest (27:20)

• Choose a random, fun, “unproductive” goal—learn all world flags, visit every local museum, paint portraits, etc.
• This diversifies your sense of self and prevents burnout from over-focusing on work/study.
• Action: Pick a quirky, effortful project just for enjoyment.

Quote:
“Consider it personality insurance. If the things you typically base your personality on fade ... you'll still know who you are.” (30:16)

5. Commit to Journaling (Especially Junk Journaling) (32:00)

• Journaling brings narrative and coherence to your life; junk journaling (collecting receipts, tickets, labels) is a low-pressure, creative ritual.
• Helps track continuity of self and reflect on personal evolution.

Jemma’s Story: Her friend Sally recommended journaling as a way to feel interesting again by getting off the phone and into a more creative practice.

Quote:
“Journaling ... lets you see yourself without the frills we put on for other people; with the junk journal, you literally see yourself through garbage.” (34:21)

6. Ask Loved Ones to Reflect You Back (41:00)

• Leverage friends’ and family’s view of you to regain self-insight using “reflected appraisals” (the Looking Glass Self by Charles Horton Cooley).
• Example questions: What song reminds you the most of me? What movie? What’s my biggest skill? Weakness?

Quote:
“There is a version of you that exists and is stable, and other people see it and they love you.” (42:10)

7. Write a “Person I Want To Be” Letter (45:00)

• Articulate (in five large themes) what your best self would look like—not just for the year, but for life.
• This “future self” visualization is proven to help bridge the gap between real and ideal selves.

Quote:
“If you don't have a representation of how you most want to be, you are not going to end up there accidentally.” (47:32)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “You are not alone in this experience, trust me. And investing in getting your personality back ... will mend a lot of the deep psychological ... holes that so many of us are experiencing on a daily basis.” (05:05)
• “If you just consume other people’s personalities for nourishment, how can you hope to be your own individual, your own unique figure, to have your own personality?” (36:40)
• “The fact that you are listening and that you don’t want to exist on autopilot is just marvelous and incredible ...” (49:40)

Summary of Actionable Steps

| Tip | Description | Timestamp | |-----|-------------|-----------| | 1 | Revisit childhood joys | 13:00 | | 2 | Fulfill a soul need daily | 17:01 | | 3 | Seek geographical novelty | 22:00 | | 4 | Set an unproductive side quest | 27:20 | | 5 | Commit to journaling (junk journaling) | 32:00 | | 6 | Ask loved ones to reflect you back | 41:00 | | 7 | Write the “Person I Want To Be” letter | 45:00 |

Tone & Final Encouragement

Jemma uses a warm, vulnerable, practical, and occasionally humorous tone, repeatedly validating the difficulty and commonality of feeling lost. She stresses that rediscovering your personality is an act of resistance against the forces of monotony and over-consumption.

Encouragement:
“Every day you probably pass multiple people on the street feeling something very similar right now, but most of them will never do anything about it. ... You have everything you need to rediscover, or just discover for the first time, who you are.” (49:20)

For More:

• Follow @psychologypodcast on Instagram.
• Visit the podcast’s Substack for transcripts and further reading.

End Notes:

• Skip past the ads and intros—Jemma’s advice begins in earnest around [04:00] and runs through [51:00].
• The actionable list and insights are especially targeted to listeners in their 20s, but are applicable at any age of self-examination.