The Psychology Podcast: Best of 2024 - Reclaim Yourself with Emma Seppala

Release Date: January 3, 2025
Host: Scott Barry Kaufman
Guest: Emma Seppala
Duration: Approximately 55 minutes

Introduction

In this standout episode of The Psychology Podcast, Scott Barry Kaufman welcomes Emma Seppala, a renowned psychologist and author of the book "Sovereign: Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy, and Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty, and Chaos." The conversation delves deep into the concept of reclaiming one's sovereignty to overcome the bound states that hinder personal growth and well-being.

Defining Sovereignty vs. Bound State

Emma Seppala introduces the core concepts of her book by contrasting the sovereign state with the bound state.

• Sovereign State: A state where individuals empower themselves, maintain their energy, and positively influence others. It involves reclaiming control over one’s life, emotions, and relationships.

• Bound State: A condition where individuals unknowingly subjugate themselves through draining beliefs, addictive behaviors, and negative interactions.

Notable Quote:
Emma Seppala [05:12]:
"The bound state is everything that drains us of our energy—beliefs we hold, behavior patterns, addictive behaviors, and how we interpret the world."

Energy and Emotion Regulation

A significant portion of the discussion centers on energy management and emotion regulation. Emma explains how negative self-talk and suppressed emotions drain our energy, keeping us in a bound state. She emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to fully feel emotions, akin to how children process them, to maintain a sovereign state.

Notable Quote:
Emma Seppala [06:38]:
"Suppression basically increases the negative emotion and it's more likely to come out somatically through health issues or as passive aggression, destroying both ourselves and others."

Self-Relationship vs. Self-Esteem

Emma challenges the traditional concept of self-esteem, proposing that what’s truly needed is a healthy self-relationship. She argues that fostering a positive relationship with oneself leads to greater self-actualization and personal growth.

Notable Quote:
Emma Seppala [10:26]:
"The only relationship you're guaranteed for the rest of your life is with yourself. Might as well make it a good one, right?"

Research on Breathing and Trauma

Emma shares her groundbreaking research on how controlled breathing can significantly reduce anxiety and trauma symptoms. Drawing from her personal experience post-9/11 and her work with veterans, she explains how breathing techniques can stabilize the nervous system and normalize anxiety levels.

Notable Quotes:
Emma Seppala [05:12]:
"When we're in a sovereign state, we're filling our own tank, we're maintaining it, but we're also filling others' tanks."

Emma Seppala [12:23]:
"After one week of Sky Breath Meditation, veterans' anxiety had normalized, some no longer qualified as having PTSD, and these effects were maintained even a year later."

Intuition and Decision Making

The conversation shifts to the importance of intuition and gut feelings in making better decisions. Emma discusses how intuition, when honed and not clouded by trauma or fear, serves as a powerful tool for self-preservation and effective decision-making.

Notable Quote:
Emma Seppala [38:35]:
"Decision making is complex, and you're going to make a better decision if you go with your feelings rather than just thinking through it reasonably."

Positive Relational Energy in Leadership

Emma introduces the concept of positive relational energy, highlighting how certain individuals can energize and uplift those around them. She shares inspiring stories, including one about Lynn Tilton, a leader who embodies sovereignty by turning around struggling companies through her positive influence and intuition.

Notable Quote:
Emma Seppala [52:05]:
"Positive relational energy is something that can be trained and that anyone can learn to catapult both personal and work relationships."

Practical Exercise: Breathwork

To provide actionable insights, Emma leads Scott and the listeners through a breathing exercise designed to enhance parasympathetic activation, promoting calmness and emotional regulation.

Notable Quote:
Emma Seppala [25:01]:
"When you breathe in, your heart rate increases, and when you breathe out, it slows down. This simple practice can help gain sovereignty over your nervous system."

Balancing Trauma and Growth

Emma addresses the current cultural obsession with trauma, advocating for a balance between acknowledging traumatic experiences and focusing on post-traumatic growth. She emphasizes reclaiming sovereignty by viewing oneself as a survivor who grows stronger rather than remaining in a state of victimhood.

Notable Quote:
Emma Seppala [31:03]:
"Holding onto victimhood keeps us in a bound state. Sovereignty is about reclaiming post-traumatic growth and not identifying with a disempowered position."

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In wrapping up, Emma and Scott reflect on the profound impact of cultivating sovereignty in various aspects of life—from personal relationships to professional leadership. Emma reiterates the importance of positive self-relationship and relational energy in achieving one's full potential.

Notable Quote:
Scott Barry Kaufman [55:03]:
"I love the phrase 'positively energizing leaders.' It's powerful and something I’ve noted down."

Emma Seppala [55:33]:
"Positive relational energy can truly transform both personal and work relationships, making a significant difference in how we show up in the world."

Key Takeaways

1. Sovereignty vs. Bound State: Embracing sovereignty empowers individuals to reclaim control over their lives, unlike a bound state that drains energy and fosters disempowerment.

2. Energy Management: Negative self-talk and emotion suppression deplete energy, whereas allowing oneself to fully experience emotions can replenish it.

3. Healthy Self-Relationship: Fostering a positive relationship with oneself is more crucial than traditional self-esteem for personal growth and self-actualization.

4. Breathing Techniques: Controlled breathing can significantly reduce anxiety and trauma symptoms by stabilizing the nervous system.

5. Intuition in Decision Making: Honing intuition leads to better decision-making, especially in complex situations, by leveraging gut feelings.

6. Positive Relational Energy: Cultivating positive energy in relationships and leadership can uplift and energize both personal and professional environments.

7. Post-Traumatic Growth: Focusing on growth and resilience after trauma fosters sovereignty and prevents remaining in a victimized state.

For Further Exploration

To delve deeper into the concepts discussed, consider reading Emma Seppala's book, "Sovereign: Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy, and Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty, and Chaos," which offers comprehensive strategies and insights on achieving personal sovereignty.

End of Summary