Sacrifice To Win

Summary

The Ramsey Show — "Sacrifice To Win" (July 28, 2026)

Hosted by Rachel Cruze & Jade Warshaw

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Episode Overview

In this packed episode of The Ramsey Show, Rachel Cruze and Jade Warshaw answer listener questions about navigating family financial obligations, setting boundaries, debt payoff, setting up for homeownership, divorce, inheritance, work-life balance, and marriage dynamics. The overarching theme is that meaningful financial progress often requires personal sacrifice, tough conversations, and sticking to proven principles. The hosts offer direct advice and tough love, interweaving Ramsey Network’s faith-based, actionable outlook on building wealth, handling adversity, and living generously.

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Main Discussion Points & Key Insights

1. Family Obligations & Setting Boundaries

(00:14 – 09:02) — [Sue from Tampa, FL]

• Situation: Sue asks if she and her sister are morally/Christianly obligated to financially support their mother, who has made poor financial decisions—and sometimes manipulates scripture to compel support.
• Key Advice:
  • Honoring parents doesn’t mean enabling poor choices or being manipulated.
  • Quote [Rachel, 02:13]: “It doesn’t say you have to fund every member of your family, including your parents, financially when they have been adults and haven’t made good decisions.”
  • Take care of your nuclear family first.
  • Set boundaries; generosity should be a choice, not a compulsion.
  • Continuing to give (with enabling behaviors) can actually cause harm.
• Memorable Moment [Jade, 06:12]: “You shouldn’t be giving under compulsion. And that’s exactly what this is, is somebody’s compelling you and trying to guilt you… this guilt has got you in a chokehold, and it feels manipulative to me.”

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2. Prioritizing Financial Goals: Pay Off Debt or Save?

(10:26 – 16:34) — [Gianna from Washington D.C.]

• Situation: Young professional balancing student loan debt, investing, and saving for a house in a high cost of living area.
• Key Advice:
  • Don’t dilute efforts across multiple financial goals; focus and knock them out one at a time.
  • Put investments and house savings on hold; aggressively pay off student loans.
  • Use all extra cash flow, plus possible side income, to be debt free within a couple of years.
  • After debt is gone, build emergency fund, then save for a house, then resume investing.
  • Quote [Rachel, 13:05]: “If you stop all of that… I think you could, if you squeeze out some more in your budget… get $1,500 a month [to attack debt].”
  • Take advantage of being young; the power of compounding will not be lost by waiting a bit to invest.
• Encouragement [Jade, 16:26]: “Do the Ramsey Baby Steps. In the next four years or so… you will set yourself up so well.”

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3. Smart Decisions with Large Sums and Windfalls

(44:14 – 51:52) — [Mary from New Orleans]

• Situation: At 25, Mary learns she’ll inherit nearly $1.2M (including a house, life insurance, and about $400k in gold coins), but family financial dynamics are unusual and secretive.
• Key Advice:
  • Don’t make plans for assets not yet legally yours; prepare, but focus on building your own financial independence in the meantime.
  • Strongly urge parents to get a will and clarify estate plans.
  • Secrets/manipulation in family finances often signal deeper dysfunction; tread carefully.
  • Use windfalls to invest and upgrade life wisely, not impulsively.
  • Quote [Rachel, 51:52]: “Pretend like this [windfall] doesn’t exist… be self-sufficient, move out, be on your own… focus on healthy spending, saving, and generosity. Money magnifies who you already are.”

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4. Dealing with Divorce & Financial Abuse

(54:04 – 63:44) — [Courtney from Las Vegas]

• Situation: Stay-at-home mom with two young children, going through an expensive, contentious divorce against a wealthy and manipulative spouse.
• Key Advice:
  • If children’s safety is in question or it’s truly about their welfare, fight for them—don’t worry about going into debt if needed.
  • Recognize the emotional toll and decide on limits; don’t drag it out endlessly if it only harms you/your children.
  • Ensure support system (family, good lawyer) is present.
  • Quote [Jade, 62:03]: “I’d be going to the mat on this. I think there’s probably… a point where enough is enough. But as long as you can… you fight for your kids.”
  • Temporary hardship and sacrifice for children’s wellbeing is worthwhile.
• Memorable Moment: Emotional support and affirmation—hosts commend Courtney’s bravery and commitment to her children.

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5. Work, Income, and Reinventing Yourself

(66:06 – 74:12) — [Rebecca from Sioux Falls]

• Situation: Older couple (late 40s), working gig jobs and art, struggling to make ends meet on about $32,000 per year.
• Key Advice:
  • Recognize when income, not expenses, is the problem.
  • Consider career change or traditional employment, even if it means taking a less ideal job temporarily.
  • Side hustles are great, but full-time, consistent work is key—especially as time to save for retirement is running out.
  • Quote [Rachel, 71:03]: “You just need to get a job. You guys are 50. Time’s ticking… do your art on the side, but full-time work is needed right now.”
  • Use remote/work-from-home options if disabilities or circumstances require it.
• Memorable Moment: Rebecca’s vulnerability about being on the spectrum and hosts’ practical, empathetic suggestions for fitting work to her needs.

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6. Debt Management: Smart Strategies Over Shortcuts

(22:36 – 31:26) — [Sid from Chicago]

• Situation: Used a 401k loan to pay off credit card debt; uncertain if this was a good move.
• Key Advice:
  • Using debt to pay off debt does not solve behavioral root causes.
  • Focus on changing money philosophy and taking real responsibility.
  • 401k loans are risky (interest to borrow your own money, job loss risks, taxes).
  • Rebuild emergency fund, pay down all obligations, and focus on future stability.
  • Quote [Rachel, 24:53]: “The problem is you. And if you don’t change you, you’re going to be right back where you started.”
  • Decide if you want to be a borrower or in control of your money.
• Memorable Moment: “It’s like a video game—I have one life left” (Caller, 29:24) and Jade’s challenge to change not just tactics, but philosophy.

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7. Marriage, Roles, and Financial Decision Making

(107:20 – 115:54) — [Mary from Kansas City]

• Situation: Stay-at-home mom, saved and paid off a home, wants a dream house, but feels her opinions are consistently dismissed due to traditional roles in the marriage.
• Key Advice:
  • In marriage, both partners should have equal say in major life decisions, especially home buying.
  • You shouldn’t have to “earn” a voice; it’s inherent in the partnership.
  • Biblical submission should never be used to silence or minimize a spouse.
  • Quote [Jade, 110:54]: “You don’t have to earn a seat at the table in your own marriage. You are the table.”
  • Consider counseling to break unhealthy cycles around money and decision-making.
  • Home purchase guidelines: pay cash if possible; otherwise, 20% down and payment at or below 25% of take-home pay.
• Memorable Moment: “Sometimes you need somebody outside the situation… you can’t see the forest for the trees.” (Jade, 115:34)

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8. Navigating Inheritance and Secrecy in Family Finances

(117:46 – 126:33) — [Jessica from Denver]

• Situation: Discovering spouse has repeatedly lied and hidden financial moves, including opening accounts in her name, spending, and covering up with further lies.
• Key Advice:
  • Consistent dishonesty around money is a sign of deeper issues, and reconciliation requires full transparency, accountability, and likely counseling.
  • A marriage cannot work if one partner refuses to address behavior or seek help.
  • Quote [Rachel, 126:06]: “My prayer would be… you find redemption in this… but if he can’t get there, it’s hard to move forward.”
• Memorable Moment: The somber, direct acknowledgment of severe trust breach and the difficulty of moving forward without real change.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Financial manipulation by a parent (Rachel, 02:13):

  “It doesn’t say… that you have to fund every member of your family, including your parents, financially when they have been adults and haven’t made good decisions.”

• On boundaries and guilt (Jade, 03:32):

  “If you can’t do this with a cheerful heart and it doesn’t feel right and it doesn’t feel good, you shouldn’t be giving under compulsion.”

• Single woman student loan advice (Rachel, 13:05):

  “If you stop all of that… you could, if you squeeze out some more in your budget… get $1,500 a month.”

• On feeling weighed down by divorce (Courtney, 55:23):

  “I just don’t know if I could sleep at night knowing I didn’t fight for my two days [with my kids].” (Caller, 55:26)

• Work advice for older couple (Rachel, 71:03):

  “I think you just need to go get a job… do it on the side… right now, you’re not [in your 20s].”

• Enabling vs. loving—on financial support (Rachel, 06:50):

  “By you continuing to give money, Sue, actually is causing harm because her behavior is not changing.”

• Finding your financial philosophy (Jade, 27:19):

  “Are you a person who’s a borrower or someone who wants to be in charge of your money?”

• On marriage dynamics (Jade, 110:54):

  “You don’t have to earn a seat at the table in your own marriage, you are the table.”

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• (00:14) — Introduction and first caller: Family obligations & boundaries
• (10:26) — Pay off debt or save/invest?
• (16:53) — Buying a work truck with cash & smart vehicle decisions
• (22:36) — Debt consolidation, 401k loans, and financial behaviors
• (32:52) — Negotiating to buy a car from a dealership
• (44:14) — Navigating inheritance and family financial secrecy
• (54:04) — Divorce, custody, and draining legal battles
• (66:06) — Older couple, artistic career, and income issues
• (76:31) — Debt payoff timing vs. starting a family
• (86:47) — Sharing Ramsey principles with friends
• (107:20) — Spousal disagreement over dream home & marriage dynamics
• (117:46) — Spousal deceit, hidden accounts, and rebuilding trust

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Episode Tone

• Supportive: Emphasis on affirmation, empathy, and empowering callers to set healthy boundaries or make difficult choices.
• Direct/Tough Love: No-nonsense coaching, especially regarding consequences of debt and avoidance of financial reality.
• Faith-based: Occasional biblical references and encouragement to find peace through faith and wise stewardship.

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Final Thoughts

This episode embodies The Ramsey Show’s central belief: that winning with money (and life) requires intentional sacrifice, facing hard truths, and living according to sound principles—even when it is difficult or unpopular with those around you. Whether it’s boundaries with family, overcoming debt, or fighting for your children, the message is clear—sacrifice now, so you can live and give generously later.

Transcript

[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[Rachel Cruze]

Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio, this is the Ramsey Show. I'm Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Jade Warshaw. And we are answering your questions about life and money. So give us a call at 888825 5225. Up first, we have sue in Tampa, Florida. Hi, sue, welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi, how are you?

[Rachel Cruze]

Hi. We're doing great. How can we help?

[Caller]

So the reason why I reached out to you guys is because you're very Christian based. And so my dilemma is my mom's in her 70s, never worked a traditional job where she could get Social Security on her own. So my parents got divorced when she it was time for retirement. She did the calculation based on my dad income. So she has a very small amount of Social Security. In her 50s, my dad helped her buy a house. She sold it and went on the mission field and basically funded herself. Never was funded by a church. Whenever she'd have a financial crisis, she would reach out to my sister or I and we had to help her. Right. So she's used a lot of this. Like the Bible teaches us to honor our parents and she uses that pretty much as her weapon to get me and my sister to continuously support her. So I wanted to reach out to you guys because you are a Christian based company, morally. Like I'm remarried with a blended family and we still have three minor kids in the house that we provide for. And like morally, are my sister and I responsible for our mom for her choices?

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, I mean from a, from a basic level, no. I feel like we're all adults.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Rachel Cruze]

And we all get to make our decisions. And as much as an honoring and respecting and taking care of are all three different categories of wording. Right. So honoring is a very different thing than even just respecting.

[Caller]

Right.

[Rachel Cruze]

Some parents are like, you need to respect me. It's what the Bible says. It's like, no, no, no. It says I should honor you. What does that look like? It doesn't say, you know, that you have to fund every member of your family, including your parents, financially when they have been adults and haven't made good decisions. It also says, sue in there, you reap what you sow. Decisions that you make about your life will come to fruition. It also says, take care of your family first or you're worse. Than an unbeliever. So you're taking care of your nuclear family first before anyone else. Right. So I'm like, you can bat around scripture as much as you want, and people can pull their punches and their own way of looking at it. And so I think, you know, what you're feeling is not wrong and where you feel like you're being maybe taken advantage of and stressed of taking care of your own family, you have to figure out priorities. And so where I would push you is to say, you're probably gonna have to have a conversation around some boundaries, but also taking care of your family first. And then out of the abundance of what you have out of that, if there is any in the season and you guys choose then to help her, then that's one thing. But this idea of having to be forced into it is tough.

[Jade Warshaw]

I agree. I almost. If I were in your shoes, I believe I would try to remove her from the conversation as much as possible, because there's obviously some whatever around that. And if I would just say, hey, there's an opportunity here for generosity. How do I feel about it? Do I want to do it and do I not? And really, that's the bottom line. Do I want to do this? Do I not? And if you don't, that's fine, because you want to be a cheerful giver. And if you can't do this with a cheerful heart and it doesn't feel right and it doesn't feel good, you shouldn't be giving under compulsion. And that's exactly what this is, is somebody's compelling you and trying to guilt you into something. And I think, like, removing all that aside, you can really just feel that and go, it just doesn't feel good to me. And I think that's enough to make your decision, at least for today.

[Caller]

Right.

Okay.

I just don't know, like, where that line is between, like, honoring her and I feel like when I. I've had to put her on boundaries, she' get rich quick scheme person. Like, she gets sucked into that. And so, like, she has a lot of credit card debt, and instead of just giving her money, I've been trying to pay off her credit cards, but I've been limiting how much I pay towards it, knowing that she's just going to re rack it up, if that makes sense.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's right.

[Caller]

And so it's like, so I do. I give her 150, 200amonth, and it's like, but that's really like, my limit. And then it's like. And Then I have this internal battle of, am I not honoring my mom? And.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, I think you might have dropped out on us. I think I would.

[Caller]

No, I'm crying.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, she makes you.

[Caller]

You know, we make. We make mistakes as people. And I always tell people, like, when I go to heaven, I don't. I want. I don't. Like, is this something that's gonna stop me and my. Where I. I feel like where I end up. Because she has so much. Told us.

Like, what do you.

Part of honoring your.

[Jade Warshaw]

What do you mean, where you end up?

[Caller]

Like. Like, am I gonna. Am I really, truly saved?

If that makes sense.

[Rachel Cruze]

Girlfriend Sue, I'm sorry.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, my gosh. I'm just gonna speak freely here, Rachel, and I hope you do the same. No, ma', am. This is not gonna. This is not going to the way that I believe. I believe that salvation is pretty simple. And it's not something that we earn. It's a free gift that we accept.

[Caller]

Right?

[Jade Warshaw]

And this feels like something you would be doing to earn your salvation. And also. Also, I mean, it's just. Truthfully, what, you believe in Jesus Christ? Do you believe he died on the ground? Right. It's all that simple stuff.

[Caller]

Right?

[Jade Warshaw]

And I think that this is just. This guilt has got you in a chokehold, and it feels manipulative to me. And I think that. I'm not saying your mom's a bad person. I'm sure she is, but I think that you're just.

[Rachel Cruze]

She has a spiritual toxic relationship with God is the way that it is,

[Jade Warshaw]

and it's rubbing off on you.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes.

[Jade Warshaw]

Go ahead, Rachel. Cause I know you got something to say.

[Rachel Cruze]

No, I mean, that's it. It's being used as a weapon, and it's being used to corner you. And nothing in that is love. Nothing in that.

[Caller]

No.

[Rachel Cruze]

And so. So you are not. You are not in the wrong, Sue. You're not. Because here's the deal, too. You keep. You know, you. You exchange irresponsibility and debt and get rich quick with something else. Right? And if she was an alcoholic and she's like, you have to honor me and take care of me, and this is what I need to survive for the last few years of my life and just get like, you're harming her. And so by you continuing to give money, sue actually is causing harm because her behavior is not changing. And so there is something to be said again, I think about so much of how she has. Manipulation is a great word. Very toxic. And it's really Sad because I think she's a very broken person. And out of that brokenness, she has formed a really jacked up theology and has passed that on to her kids, to you, to even have you question those kind of things. And I just hate, I hate that I want to release that from you.

[Caller]

Thank you so much.

[Rachel Cruze]

So, no, I think I would do some studying if she keeps throwing that. And you, and even for your own conscious and spiritual for you go and research that. I mean, honestly, you can find the original Hebrew, Greek, you know what I mean? Like, go back and understand the context of all of it for your own self. Because I want you to make decisions not out of weakness, but out of a power of knowing that this is an okay decision for me to make and I'm not a bad person because of it. Because you're not, Sue. You're not.

[Caller]

And thank you guys so much.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. So yeah, you, good luck with you. And you may have to have some tough conversations and those boundary conversations are short and sweet, direct to the point, very kind. But. But there's going to probably be some boundaries set up because she's not in a good place and doesn't continue to show any level of behavior of healing and changing her patterns with.

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[Rachel Cruze]

Next up we we have is it gianna in Washington D.C. hi, welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi Rachel. Thank you so much for taking my call. It's so nice to be here today.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, it's good to talk to you. We were just in Washington D.C. last week with some of my kids and it was so fun, such a great trip. So it's a great area. But, yeah, how can we help today?

[Caller]

So my question is, I'm 24, with about $22,000 left in federal student loan debt. I pay about 500amonth to pay these loans down. I invest 500amonth in a fidelity mutual fund towards a house. Additionally, I contribute 6% to my 401k that my employer matches. So my question is, with the high cost of living in the area that I'm in, I feel behind on saving for a house. So should I keep saving for a home with the $500 a month or focus on paying off my student loans more aggressively?

[Jade Warshaw]

All right, so I hear a couple of things going on. First off, I. I think what you want to do, I commend it. The fact that you want to save for a down payment, the fact that you want to be investing and the fact that you're maybe thinking about paying off these student loans are all really good goals to have. The only thing that I would do is streamline this a little bit so that you can actually accomplish something. And it's really hard to accomplish something when you're doing multiple things at a time. All right, the way that I think about this, you've got 500amonth going to investments. You've got 6%, whatever that number is, going to 401k. And there's also, you know, 22,000, a big chunk of money to pay off. And I like to think of it, Gianna, like, if I had a pitcher of water and I had like five or six different cups I needed to fill up. You can think of those as your debts, and you're just putting a little bit in each cup every month. It's going to take forever to fill up any of those cups. But if you take one month and, you know, focus in for a while and say, you know, I'm going to put this whole picture in that one, you can actually fill up a glass and it feels great. Right. So keep that in mind. And what I would suggest for you to do is let's pull back, let's say, for temporarily, just for a little bit. Let's hold investing temporarily for a little bit. Let's hold off on the down payment and let's knock out these student loans because the longer we wait on those, the interest is just going to keep accruing. And if we had the full power of our income, how quickly could you knock out $22,000?

[Caller]

Probably in two to three years, I would say.

[Jade Warshaw]

What do you earn?

[Caller]

About 90,000 a year.

[Jade Warshaw]

Is it just you?

[Rachel Cruze]

I'm going to, I'm going to say 14 months. I'm going to push you, I'm going to push you. If you, if you stop all of that because the 6% that you're putting in, I mean that's around, yeah, $400 a month or so going there. So that plus the 500, plus what you're already doing, I think you could, if you squeeze out some more in your budget and not go out to eat, don't shop, delete Amazon off your phone, I think you could get 1500 bucks a month.

[Caller]

That's hard.

[Rachel Cruze]

I know, I know, but we just

[Jade Warshaw]

found you a thousand a month. So two years at the least, I

[Rachel Cruze]

think you could find at least 1,500. I think you could do that. And even if you worked an extra job at night for maybe two or three nights a week, right. Like the faster you this done, the faster, let's say that fifteen hundred dollars that was going to debt now is going to investing and a down payment. And I would say depending on your how urgent you are with the home, I probably would even pause investing to save up. It's what we call baby step 3B. So after you are out of debt, get an emergency fund in place. So have some cash set aside for that. And then I would, I would spend probably two years saving up a down payment before I, before I press play on investing because you're still young enough, you're gonna be fine. And I think the more you can get that ball rolling and get into a home and get it, put at least 5% down on a home. I think it's going to be a great step for you and you'll have plenty of time for investing in retirement. I don't want you to wait too long. But in the next five years or so, paying off debt, an emergency fund and a down payment I think are great goals. And then just say by the time you're, you know, 28, 29, press play on investing and what you're going to be doing then. Johnny, I'm just following the baby steps as we're walking through this. And after you save for that down payment is 15% of your income into retirement. So it'll be a little more than what you're even investing now and you'll be fine by the time you get to 59 and a half retirement age.

[Jade Warshaw]

Gianna, it's just you, right?

[Caller]

No kids, no hubby, no Kids, no hubby.

I have a boyfriend, but maybe engaged in the next little bit, two years, I would say.

[Rachel Cruze]

Which may change some of these numbers, too, right? In a sense of location, job. If you buy a home, if you don't. I mean, like, you know, life is happening around our money, right? And so we kind of use our money to shift what is happening in our life, which is a great thing.

[Jade Warshaw]

And, you know, the thing is, the other thing I want to throw at you is the idea that you're single. I mean, you have a boyfriend, but you don't have, you know, babies and things like that going on. Now's the time to pick up a side hustle. Now's the time to really, like, if you want this to go quickly, pick up those extra hours, do that extra job. Because Rachel and I, if I did the math well enough here, you. You should be. We just found you around a thousand dollars. If you pick up another side hustle where you're making another thousand dollars. Well, gosh, there's. There it is right there. Like, it's so, so within your grasp. So I just want to remind you of that, and I want you. My. My personal homework for you would be go home, go on ramseysolutions.com and get on that investment calculator, Rachel. Because when we have young cats calling in that are in their 20s and they feel like they're out of time, I'm like, please go play with the calculator so you can see your millions of dollars.

[Rachel Cruze]

You will be fine. You'll be fine.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes. So please do that and do it with 15% of your income and do it from age 28. And you're going to be astounded by what you see.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yep, absolutely. Well, good luck to you, Johnny. I mean, yeah, I would say follow the. Follow the Ramsey baby steps. Get out of debt first. Get an emergency fund. Start saving for a down payment, and then start investing. And you can do all of that in the next four years or so. And you will set yourself up so well. All right, let's go to Brendan in Orlando, Florida. Hi. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi. How are you doing?

Hi.

[Rachel Cruze]

We're doing good. How are you?

[Caller]

I'm good.

Good.

[Rachel Cruze]

How can we help?

[Caller]

Okay, so my question is, I'm 22. I have a car that I owe about 25,000 doll. And I want to. I'm thinking about getting rid of it to get a truck and cash so that I can start doing side work because I do H Vac. I work for a company, and I want to start doing side jobs with the truck.

[Rachel Cruze]

Awesome. How much do you make a year?

[Caller]

Last year, because I also have a side hustle. I sell stuff online, like E Commerce. Last year I made around 75.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, good for you.

[Jade Warshaw]

Cool.

[Rachel Cruze]

What do you think you can sell the car for? You owe 25 on it.

[Caller]

On Kelley Blue Book it says that it's worth about what I owe 25, but I know if I take it to a dealership that I'll probably be upside down.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Do you have money saved to go get a truck?

[Caller]

Yes, I do. I have around $60,000 saved up.

Oh, my God.

[Jade Warshaw]

Good job.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well done. Brendan, what other debt do you have?

[Caller]

That is it.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's it. No student loans, no credit card debt.

[Jade Warshaw]

What do you plan to spend? So, I mean, yeah, getting rid of the car is a no brainer. You break even on it, no problem. Out of the 60,000, what do you think you're going to spend on this truck in cash?

[Caller]

Probably around 15.

[Jade Warshaw]

I love this for you.

[Rachel Cruze]

It's great. Yeah, that's a. That's a green light for us for sure. And then you're doing a side hustle because that's going to leave you enough probably for an emergency fund, I think fully funded at that point. So I would just put the remainder of that money in just a high yield savings account. You can open up a account with Fair Winds Credit Union. They're awesome. And just stick that in a high yield savings. Forget about it. And then. Yeah, start getting to work and funding and then start retirement investing, brother. Do you have any investments open right now?

[Caller]

Yes, about 40,000 of it is in a money market and then about 10,000 of it. I know Dave would kill me if you heard this is in single stock.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, single stock. Okay. I was gonna say crypto. I was like, I can't. We can guess all the things,

[Caller]

but. And then the rest is honestly just cash just sitting around.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Well, I. The homework I would give you is look into opening up a Roth IRA for yourself. And you can.

[Caller]

And I do. I do have a Roth as well.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, you do?

[Caller]

I just started. It's around 2200 in there.

[Rachel Cruze]

Good for you. Amazing. Yes. And I think you can. I think you can max it out at 7, 500 this year.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. And if you get to the point, I'd be putting 15 in there. You're there. 15 off of every paycheck? Off the gross amount.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes.

[Jade Warshaw]

And you're adulting my friend.

[Rachel Cruze]

Brendan, well done. At 22. This is awesome. And the fact that you have $60,000 saved. I'm sorry for it. I mean, that, that, that's an easy call, Brendan.

[Jade Warshaw]

I know it.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Your issues aren't issues. You. You. You're good. You're good to go. Thank

[Caller]

you.

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[Rachel Cruze]

We love hearing people's stories about how they are winning with money. And one of the ways that they are doing that so often that we see is using the EveryDollar app. And it's not just a budgeting app. It actually has a plan put in place for you and your specific numbers where you are in the baby steps and really helps walk you through it in a really amazing way. This one quote from a fan says, this app allows me to budget, to keep my budget and goals organized. And so there is something about the organization, you guys, very, very important. And she also said, I love the projection on when we're going to be debt free and my estimated net worth, it gives me something to work towards and gives you a light at the the tunnel. So we love to see it. If you want to start every dollar you can do, you can do it today for free in the App Store or Google Play. All right, let's go to Sid in Chicago, Illinois. Hi, Sid. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hey, thank you so much for having me, guys.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes, absolutely. How can we help?

[Caller]

So right now, my predicament, my name's Said, I'm from Chicago, the city. And right now, a week and a half ago, two weeks ago, I wanted to Pay off all my debt. I had like 26% in like revolving credit cards totaling like 20,000. So I want to do like a consolidation loan. I was getting like stupid APR rates, like 30%. And it seemed like the only option I had that I found out I had enough in my 401k was to do like a 401k loan at a 7.5% interest rate. And so I did that and I took out 18,800 and I did the loan at a 7.5% rate and I cleared out pretty much all my debt. I only have one more credit card totaling $1,800 that I intend on paying in two months. I'm seeing if one, this is the best decision and two, because of course you never want to go ahead and spend more on the credit cards. I'm seeing, you know, was this a good strategy and what I can do, like going forward, Currently I have like $500 in my bank account.

Yeah. Wow.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, I'll say the, the avenue at which you took to pay off debt is you use debt to pay off debt. And I'll say that's pretty normal. We hear that a lot. And the problem is you're tackling the wrong issue. You're tackling it at a math side. You threw out so much interest rates and numbers and said that the problem with your money is not interest rates. The problem with your money is you. And if you don't change, you, you're going to be right back where you started. So you just took money, you know, robbed Peter to pay Paul, basically, you know, you took money out of your own future, borrowed from your own future to pay this off. And now you got to go back and pay off the 401k loan. And so, so you moved money around basically, is all you did. You didn't really fix the problem. And so that's why we always talk about personal finance as 80% behavior. It's only 20% had knowledge. If it was a math issue, nobody would be in debt. We could figure that out.

[Caller]

Right.

[Rachel Cruze]

The problem is that you have spent money that you don't have. And the great thing is though, you are the problem, but you're also the solution, that you are the one that's going to get you out, meaning you're cutting expenses, working two extra jobs. Like you are the one that's going to be the most effective of getting yourself out of debt, not a debt consolidate debt consolidation company or a 401k loan.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, I think Rachel said it just right because think about it for a second. And this has always bothered me about 401k loans because it's your money, and they're charging you interest to take your own money like that. That's wild to me. That's. That. That's crazy work. Which is one reason why I would never suggest it. But you're here now, and hopefully you learn from that. And just knowing, hey, once you borrow from this money, you've got a period of time to pay it back. But if something happens and you lose your job and you're no longer at that company, then that time frame becomes accelerated. I believe you have a calendar year to get going on that. So you're in it now. And I agree with Rachel. You can't solve a problem while simultaneously creating it. And so we've just got to stop with the debt. And we can't use debt to pay off debt. So the question comes, what are we doing next? And so what's your next plan?

[Caller]

Well, I mean, right now, I mean, not gonna lie, of course, you guys hit it on the. On the head. I definitely robbed Peter to pay Paul. But I will say it definitely felt good to know, like, I'm 30. Just for you guys out there, I am 30 years old, pretty much. It does feel good to have my 20s essentially paid off all the fun that I had. So it does feel good to see my credit score going up. It definitely beat out a consolidation loan. And I definitely did try the snowball method. I make, like 70k a year. 65. And I also have a second job. I am an actor, so I get paid outside of that, too, and stuff. So I guess now, I guess it's just, like, really behavioral changes. Like, instead of, like, going to that movie or going out or going on that trip, you know, just kind of staying put and just looking for ways to just. Just make that emergency fund. I also did check to see, like, what if I did lose my job. I know that was, like, a big thing that I think my parents are telling me about. And, like, they said that I would be able to take that loan and just move it to whichever company that I would be at. So I don't really think that's an issue. And for those.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, that's not always the case. But I. I want to challenge you on this, Sid, because I feel like you're. I'm 42, so I'm a little bit further down the road. Not that much further. But here's what I want to challenge you on, because I feel like you're on the minutia. I want to challenge you on the bigger arc of how you view money philosophy. Right. Because that's what you're going to need to decide. You're going to need to decide, am I a person who is a borrower or am I a person who wants to be in charge of my money? And I think that's the overarching question that you have to decide. You mentioned a credit score, you mentioned feeling better about Mo. So I think you just have to decide, who do I want to be? Am I a person? Do I, you know, we believe that the borrower is slave to the lender. Are you cool with that? Are you a person who's like, you know what, I don't mind debt. Sometimes I like the leverage. Right. If you're that person, I would say decide who you're going to be. Otherwise you're going to just vacillate all the time and it's. You're going to be taking two steps forward, one step back. And I will tell you one thing about Ramsey principles. The baby steps that we teach, you just got to do them. Like, if you don't do them, they really don't work because it's a system. And the only way a system works is if you do the things in order, the way the system tells you how to do it. So that's what I would say around this.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. I mean, I would just guarantee you, Sid, if you got yourself out of debt and you said, I am not chasing debt anymore, which means the credit score doesn't matter because I'm gonna be paying cash for everything. I'm not going into debt, I'm not going to borrow money, pay interest on something and I'm going to have.

[Caller]

It was an awful experience.

[Rachel Cruze]

Totally.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Rachel Cruze]

You feel it. You have a bad taste in your mouth. And, and when you have an emergency fund, you have cash sitting in the bank. Not just $500 in your account, but 10, 15 grand sitting there. That's a, you know, a three month emergency fund. And then you're investing 15% of your income into retirement, which is baby step four. And you're earning interest on your money versus paying interest of being in debt. And you start building wealth so quickly. So quickly, like you start to watch. Go ahead.

[Caller]

Sorry, sorry for talking over you. I mean, it sounds like pretty much I'm kind of like it's like a two sides of one coin. Like one side I am paying off debt, but on the other side of the coin, like, it seems like I have like an opportunity to actually take control of my money and do the right things. But now I only have one life left. Like it's a video game, if that makes sense.

[Rachel Cruze]

It does make sense. And I'll tell you this. We do not believe in. Dave always says it's living in a cave and collecting rent and only coming out on, you know, triple coupon Tuesday or whatever. Like we are known as sacrificing to get ahead, meaning getting yourself out of debt and all that. And then we also say you live like no one else, so then later you can live and give like no one else. So I hope 40 year old Sid is going on the trips to Europe that he wants to go to.

[Caller]

Absolutely.

[Rachel Cruze]

And he's paying cash for it. I pray that you have a car that you've always wanted and you're paying cash for it. I pray you have so much that you're able to find something that you get to plug yourself into that's not about you. And you're generous and you can live in abundance and you give freely because you can.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's the whole point.

[Rachel Cruze]

These are things we want. And it's more about being on your terms and living within your means to do those things versus leveraging and using the bank's money. Because here's the deal. You may have some freedom and feeling good with the wind in your hair and a boat on a European coast using a bunch of credit cards, but the stress is coming that that you're going to have to pay that trip off. And so it is a you get to choose. Am I going to be stressed to save and actually pay for things or am I going to be stressed on the other side because I'm being borrowed? So I would much rather be the one in control of my money and maybe say no for the short term. But the long term, Sid, with this plan, you can enjoy your life. That's what it's all about.

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[Rachel Cruze]

All right, we're gonna head to Jackson, Mississippi, and we have Daniel on the line. Hi, Daniel. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hey, thank you for taking my call.

I just wanted to add, I just wanted to say first that I have not always been the best at negotiating, purchasing vehicles from dealerships. So I was hoping y' all might be able to talk about that for a bit and give your best advice,

so on and so forth, what to

say, what not to say, all that good stuff. If you don't mind.

[Jade Warshaw]

I love this question.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, it's a good one.

[Jade Warshaw]

So what are you looking to buy?

[Caller]

Probably going to be an suv. I'm currently in a Camry. We're fixing to have our second child. And being that I'm six foot two, it's really, really dangerous. We figured out when my head was hitting the ceiling, that was not good idea. You know, I don't need that in my life. So here we go.

[Jade Warshaw]

So you're getting the suv. This is an upgrade. What do you guys plan to spend? And I'm assuming it's cash.

[Caller]

It is probably in the neighborhood of 30 to 40.

[Jade Warshaw]

Way to go.

[Caller]

Take. Hopefully no more than that.

[Jade Warshaw]

I love that for you. So I've done a couple of cars in cash. I know Rachel's probably done more than me. I'll tell you what I used to do, and then I'll tell you what I've learned to do, which works a lot better. Better. So from what I understand, Rachel, when you go to a car dealership, they don't make money on a cash sale. The money that they make is generally on a finance deal, and they're getting a kickback from you financing the vehicle. So when you come on site and you let them know right off the bat that you're. That you're paying cash, a lot of times, like, any interest in that deal completely fizzles out because they're like, oh, I'm not going to make any money on this.

[Rachel Cruze]

Which. Can I. Sorry, can I interject? Which is different than an individual. Right? So if you go and spend cash with an individual, they're probably needing that cash. Like if you find someone on Facebook Marketplace, and they're selling and you're like, I got cash right here. We can make the deal today. I don't have to worry about financing and me not, you know, being approved for the loan. They're like, oh, let's get it. So you're more on the upside, on the cash perspective with an individual versus a dealer, because you're exactly right. They don't make dealerships. Yeah, don't. I made that mistake. Don't make that one.

[Jade Warshaw]

They don't care.

[Rachel Cruze]

No. And we used to teach that, Jade, I think in like, the old FPU videos, Dave would be like, go in and tell them you got cash. They're gonna be excited. It used to be like, ooh. And now they don't want that. They want you to have a loan so they can make some extra money. So don't show all your cards first, is what you're saying.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, then. Yeah, then that pulls up a good point. What do you think, Daniel? Are you thinking about private sale or are you thinking about a dealership?

[Caller]

It's gonna. It'll be a dealership. It's just easier for me doing it that way.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, that's great. Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. So then I would go in and I would have my eye on whatever it is. I like to do a lot of research up front and already know, like, this is the vehicle. You know, this is the one I want. Go in and try to get the best deal you can. And they're going to ask you, how do you want to pay for this? What are you thinking? And I usually say, you know, I just want to see where we land. Land. Let's just see where we land.

[Rachel Cruze]

I'm not sure. We'll just. Yeah, I'll figure that out.

[Jade Warshaw]

And then I don't tell them until the very end. And then from there, I'm usually trying to get money off of, like, some of the dealer fees, some of the things that they actually have control over. Those are the things I'm checking first. And. Yeah, that's it. And if I have seen similar models of the same car in other locations, I'll usually show them and say, well, this one is, you know, two grand cheaper or whatever that is. And I think as. As well prepared as you can be with other dealerships that have similar options to kind of match that price, that's what I would do.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. And as you're asking for the price and making sure you get the out the door price, because what they quote you may be one thing. And then when you get to inside the little office, you start signing some

[Jade Warshaw]

Stuff, it looks different.

[Rachel Cruze]

The taxes come up, you know, the registration. I mean, like, there's fees attached to it. And so I would just keep hammering the out the door price. The out the door price. This is what I can do. How can you help me? You know, it's like you kind of just have to. You kind of have to keep at it. You almost have to annoy them a little bit and see if they'll budge. But. But sometimes dealers, they don't. They're. They. They're not all super willing to always negotiate.

[Jade Warshaw]

And. And is it a used car? I'm assuming it's a used car.

[Caller]

Oh, absolutely. You know, I'm not gonna buy my new car. I've been listening to you, to y',

all and to your dad of way

too long to do.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, just double checking, because I'm also going to suggest, you know, make sure, obviously, that you have the carfax and they pull those and that you can look at that. And even, I mean, $40,000 is a lot of money. I would recommend bringing it to Christian Brothers if you have one in your area. Christian Brothers Automotive. They will do. They will go and give a once over on a vehicle that you're looking to buy just to verify that it really is in good condition. And just ask the dealership, say, hey, I'd like to have my mechanic look at this. And you can do that. And I would suggest that with any used car just to make sure you feel good about the purchase. But absolutely, I'm excited for you.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, that's great. And I think too, this is where I get in trouble. I get so emotional. So I'll like, get. When we bought our minivan after Charles was born, I would, like, get in one.

[Jade Warshaw]

Did you sit in it?

[Rachel Cruze]

I did. I was like, oh, my gosh. When sit and wins was like, shut up, Rachel.

[Jade Warshaw]

Don't tell them that you.

[Rachel Cruze]

We did the same thing with a house. We were looking at houses. I was like, oh, my gosh, the baby, you know, and he's like, stop, stop. You are the worst.

[Jade Warshaw]

I already knew where the Christmas tree goes.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. You are the worst person to do this with. So don't be overly emotional. And when you're not overly emotional, you also are not attached to this one specific car on the lot that you have to have. Because if they don't give you the price that you feel like is fair or that you want to pay, you have to have the ability to walk away. I think that's one of the most, like, that's. But when people get wrapped up, it's cars or houses or whatever it is, and, like, it's the only one. This is the only one I can. And you're like, no, it's not. Yeah, no, it's not. It's fine. Like, you get trapped at that point and you sometimes end up overpaying when you get so emotional about it.

[Jade Warshaw]

I always think of this episode of the Cosby show when they're going to buy the car. And he dresses in like sweatpants and like an old T shirt. Cause he doesn't want the dealer to know that he's a doctor and has money. And then his buddy recognizes him and he's like, Dr. Huxtable.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

Anyway, yeah, he's like, shh, shh. Yeah, you don't want him to know, so don't tell him you have cash. Like, now's the time, you know, Just wear your old sneakers.

[Rachel Cruze]

Like, see if they'll get it down. Be like, I wanna walk away with the car today. What can you do for me? Oh, it's so good. Well, good luck, Daniel. And with the second bab.

[Caller]

That's.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's exciting.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Rachel Cruze]

All right, next up, we have Landon in Michigan. Hi, Landon. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hey, I really do appreciate being on here today.

Absolutely.

[Rachel Cruze]

How can we help?

[Caller]

Yeah, so I'm 22 years old, married to my wife, also 22 years old. I make about $55,000 a year working 60 hours a week. She makes about 46,000 a year. We have about $70,000 in debt as well. I might have an opportunity here to go back into a career that I was in before. Starting off making about 80,000 doll. And in four years, making the base pay about 150. And with overtime, 190 with good benefits, especially the baby on the way. The problem is that I left this career while I was in Florida and we moved back to Michigan. Be close to the family, but with a baby on the way and not being able to go to college in order to get into the courier that I more like. I don't think we're getting in more debt is the right choice. But the commute is an hour and 45 minutes away. And my wife feels like I'm just going to hate the job again, even though it's more money. And so I guess my question is, if you're in my position, would you go back to that career because of what it could do for financial future, or would you keep pursuing a different career path?

[Rachel Cruze]

Not for an hour and 45 minute commute each way. Is it each way?

[Caller]

Each way. We would plan on moving eventually, but it wouldn't be right away.

[Jade Warshaw]

Do you have to stick? Like, I'm all for a little bit of uncomfortability to sacrifice to win. If you go back to this job, nothing says you have to stick with it for the long haul. I mean, could you do it for two years to pay off the debt? Debt?

[Caller]

That's what I was trying to tell.

[Jade Warshaw]

For a year.

[Caller]

That's what I was thinking. That's. That's what I was thinking. Like, if I don't like it that much, you know, that we can always quit. But I can't get the opportunity back. There's not many of these opportunities here in Michigan.

[Jade Warshaw]

What is it?

[Caller]

Working as a utility lineman for utility company.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

How quickly do you get to 190?

[Caller]

It would be in four years.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, uh, I'm probably gonna be out. Because if, you know, you hate it, you add the commute on it. It's not like you can just bust into this job, make 190.

[Caller]

I know.

[Jade Warshaw]

Very quickly, and use that money to pay off this debt in, you know, 18 months.

[Rachel Cruze]

When's the baby due?

[Caller]

January.

[Rachel Cruze]

January. Is your wife gonna go back to work after baby's here? Like after maternity leave and everything?

[Caller]

Yeah, she would. It just. We would be cutting down a lot. Like, we only have a couple extra hundred bucks at the end of the month once the baby is here.

[Rachel Cruze]

Sure.

[Jade Warshaw]

There's no choice.

[Caller]

It's hard.

Yep.

Yeah, it's hard because we can move closer.

[Rachel Cruze]

What's the. What's the $70,000 in debt? What does that consist of?

[Caller]

That consists of two cars. And then my student.

[Rachel Cruze]

How much are the cars?

[Caller]

Trade school. How much are the cars at 35.

Sell them combined.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, Landon.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm out.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, I would choose. Choose a no commute. Making less with a crappy car.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes, ma'.

[Caller]

Am.

[Rachel Cruze]

All day. And paying off that car. No, you guys need to sell it and get some crappy cars. You may have to take a small one for the difference, but I would do that all day.

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[Jade Warshaw]

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[Rachel Cruze]

Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio. I am Rachel Cruze hosting this hour with Jade Warshaw. And we are answering your questions about your life and your money. So give us a call at 888-825-5225. All right, let's head to New Orleans, and we have Mary on the line. Hi, Mary. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi. Thank you so much for having me on.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. How can we help today?

[Caller]

So this is what's going on. So recently, I found out that I am inheriting 100 ounces of sparkle coins, which is a total value of $409,500. And so I'm 25.

[Rachel Cruze]

Wait, $409,000?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

So almost half a million.

[Caller]

Yeah, I know. And so I'm 25, and I'm an only child, and my parents are older, so my dad's 71, and my mom is 66, and they're both living. And so right now, already I'm inheriting my house. That is $620,000. And then my mom's life insurance policy of $150,000. And so that is equal to. Oh, and my dad sold his life insurance policy, so that is equal to $1,000,179, $500,000. And so this is a lot of information that, you know, that I'm learning. And so right now, we have no car notes, no students. Like, we have no debt whatsoever. And so I'm just trying to figure out how to go forward with this. Right now we have, like, for example, like, our car. Like, we have no AC in our car, and, like, some other things that we need to do around the house. And so I'm just trying to figure out, like, a lot of people have been saying you should try to sell some of the gold, like, maybe half of that amount and yeah, and so I'm just trying to approach this for sure.

[Rachel Cruze]

So do you have the gold specifically? Is it in your possession or will you get it when your parents pass?

[Caller]

So the only thing my dad says, and I think I need clarification, I try to get clarification with him on this, is that he said everything I had is already yours. And so like the gold is in our safe right now. And I spoke to a financial advisor and he said I should put in like a safe deposit box or my dad should. And I spoke to my dad and he got really upset and he refuses to do that and wants to keep everything in his possession.

[Rachel Cruze]

So the gold is in his possession right now, not yours?

[Caller]

Yes, but there's no legal writing on like it's not even in my parents will and like my mom doesn't even know that he has it.

Oh my God.

Yes answer. Oh, yeah, yeah. And so, but to answer your question, it, it is in his possession.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. So there's nothing for you to do today because you don't have anything.

[Caller]

Right.

You're.

[Rachel Cruze]

It's not sitting in your home that you can go and start making financial moves. It's his. If you want to ask another clarifying question of hey, dad, if this is going to be mine and you're not going to use it and what's mine is yours or whatever phrasing he said and you want it today to. Because what I would do is cash it out and start investing and you know, using it to, you know, upgrade your life a little, which is not wrong. So that you can.

[Caller]

And I still live that whole. I hate to interrupt. I'm sorry, I still live at home.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

With my mom and dad. And so just to put that out there.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, Gotcha.

[Caller]

Yep.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. I think you, I think you guys just need, you need just a lot of more clarity around all of this because it's, it's big numbers you're talking about. So first and foremost, I would encourage him to get a will. And you guys can go to mamabearlegalforms.com it's pretty easy to do. You just get a state specific will for one in Louisiana and you write down the S. You know, you just walk through the process. But that way you at least if anything hits probate or when, when they pass, you have this document that helps get things through so much faster. It is miserable to be digging through everything when they've passed. If they don't have a will, I will. That, that's my number one is will number Two is, I would be having a conversation with him just to say, okay, dad, you've told me all of this.

[Caller]

What.

[Rachel Cruze]

What do you want to do? What are you. Is the expectation that this all comes into my possession when you die? That's great. Like, either way doesn't matter. I just need to know what's going on. And, dad, you probably want to discuss this with mom and let her know

[Jade Warshaw]

what you guys have.

[Rachel Cruze]

Just to be on the same page. Like, it's so interesting that he's keeping that from her.

[Caller]

Right?

I know. Yeah.

He.

He doesn't. She thinks she has a spending problem. But the thing is, though, I think there's. It's a lot of financial. I don't know how I should word it. I don't want to say abuse, but,

like, dysfunction, it kind of.

Pardon.

[Rachel Cruze]

Dysfunction.

[Caller]

Yeah.

Like, he. Like, for example, he makes the most of the money in the house, but he expects my mom to pay everything, like groceries. Like, he doesn't contribute to everything and only pays electricity and water.

[Jade Warshaw]

They've got something interesting going on. And if I were you, I'd probably try to steer clear of something that. Because it has nothing to do with you, but I would ask for the things that pertain to me. Can. Can there be clarity around that and can we have a family discussion around it? Because I don't want any of this coming to light after the fact and it coming out on me. Yes, I want. Do you see what I'm saying? Whenever there are secrets, it can. It can end poorly, and the wrong people can kind of have to bear the weight of that. And so if you guys can have those discussions in the light of day when everybody's above ground, that is fabulous.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[Caller]

And I told my dad. I said, dad, you. You need to talk to. To mom about this. This is not fair. And he's like, no, no. Like, I. I need to protect this. He's very, like, doomsday.

[Rachel Cruze]

Sure.

[Jade Warshaw]

Are you the only sibling? Are you the only child?

[Caller]

Yes, I'm an only child.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

So, yeah, I mean, I think you can. You can say as much as you want, but at the end of the day, they're adults. They're gonna do what you want, and you can't control that. So there's only. To Jade's point, there's only so much effort you could put into that. And there may not be, but it'd be like, here's my requests, dad, how can you help me out here? And then, Mary, beyond that, I just wonder for you and your financial Future. Right. I mean, and pretending like this doesn't

[Jade Warshaw]

exist, don't depend on it.

[Rachel Cruze]

But for you to be self sufficient, for you to move out, out and be on your own. You said you're 24.

[Caller]

25.

[Rachel Cruze]

25, yeah. For you to start living your life. Right. And, and again, if or when this stuff comes to fruition, that's wonderful and I think you can be really wise about that. I would, you know, I would use it to sure upgrade some things in life. I would invest probably a bunch of it. I may give some of that. You know, like there's different things you can do when it happens, but between now and then, because a long way to go. You don't know when it's going to happen.

[Caller]

Is.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Start, start living your life and set yourself up well with really healthy spending habits, practicing saving and generosity. So we always talk about how money's a magnifying glass that makes you more of what you already are. And so if you create good money habits, Mary, and you, you have a level of security and contentment and a life that you've built yourself. And then this windfall of a million dollars comes, that's just gonna magnify who you've become, which is a very healthy person around money. So that's what you, you can control.

[Jade Warshaw]

I mean, I gotta believe if she's 24, I gotta believe the parents are 50s.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes. But he said he may give it. He's like, what's mine is yours. So the question is, is he gonna give it to her now or not?

[Caller]

I don't know.

[Jade Warshaw]

I don't know.

[Rachel Cruze]

Some clarifying questions. But at the end of the day, your parents, like all of ours, have some little woo woo tendencies. But if you can just clarify some of it, I think. Yes. That clarity is very, very important.

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[Jade Warshaw]

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[Rachel Cruze]

Up next, we have Courtney in Las Vegas. Hi, Courtney. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi, Rachel. Hi, Jade. How are you guys doing?

[Rachel Cruze]

Hi. We're doing great. How can we help?

[Caller]

Good, good, good. I just want to first off by saying I have listened to Dave and Rachel for 15 years. I'm 31 years old, never been in debt, cash flowed. My entire college, medical stuff and everything.

[Rachel Cruze]

My gosh, well done.

[Caller]

So thank you. If it wasn't up for you guys, I don't think I'd be, you know, where I am today. So huge, huge. Thank you. And such an inspiration.

[Jade Warshaw]

Absolutely.

[Caller]

My question today is I am navigating a divorce. I have a one and three year old and I am running out of money. I've been a stay at home mom for four years and I've lost everything. So with, you know, working prior to getting married, I've had a life savings of 70,000 and it's dwindled down to 50 in lawyers fees. The custody arrangement and child support is currently what we're, you know, litigating. I just don't know if it's worth fighting for. I'm scared. I don't know if it's worth getting into debt for.

Excuse me.

I just don't know if I could sleep that night knowing I didn't fight

for my two days.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, Courtney, I'm so sorry.

[Jade Warshaw]

Is, is he a good guy and it just didn't work out or is he somebody that you really do feel like you need custody, Full custody? What's the nature of the battle?

[Caller]

He isn't a very successful entrepreneur here in town. And so when we were together, he was just a workaholic. I would say he's an okay, I mean, as far as like hands on, he, you know, it was, he believed in traditional roles and I was a stay home but I left because it became abusive. And unfortunately the court system if, as long as he wasn't abusive to the kids, he is guaranteed 50% custody. And so that's kind of where I'm at. The only control he has over me is the financial litigation over this. And he is draining me on purpose. Just not complying with, you know, the discovery process that my attorneys are asking and just delaying court proceedings. I'm on month nine of our separation and our divorce and I'm, I have nothing. So I don't know if it's just subtle. 50%.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. My question is who. Why are they not pushing harder on him to get what they need so that it's not dragging out? Because you said he's doing this on purpose. I mean there's a point that it starts to become, he's, he's not obeying the courts. Right. When, when things are said and done. So what I'm curious what your lawyers are saying.

[Caller]

Right.

And, and they see it all the time. Unfortunately it's not unique, especially with high level business people and people in power with money. They keep, they ask his team and him ask for extensions and just basically my, my attorney has to file motions of over promotion to get in front of the judge to mediate. But as I'm sure a lot of people know, this is such a lengthy process and I'm already $50,000 in.

[Rachel Cruze]

Are you not entitled to. What's the divorce law in Nevada? Are you entitled to half of his money?

[Caller]

I signed a prenup. He is 15 years older than me. We had a baby out of wedding walker. We weren't married yet. And so I signed my life away to ensure that our family stayed together.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

And he comes from a middle Eastern background. So being quitting my job and staying home to raise kids was very important.

[Rachel Cruze]

I gotcha.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, tell me the numbers again. I just wanna make sure I heard correct. You said you started with 70,000 and what do you have left?

[Caller]

20.

[Jade Warshaw]

20. Okay, I'm glad I clarified that. And what are you doing for work? You said you've been going through this for nine months. In that nine months, what's your life looked like work wise?

[Caller]

Yeah, I've picked up within the nine months. I was just doing side gigs, you know, part time with a catering company friend and then like doordash and Ubereats to help pay some of these litigation fees. And now I luckily was able to get a full time job with a home builder here in Las Vegas.

[Rachel Cruze]

How much will you be making? Making?

[Caller]

It's sales based, but I get a base pay of 60 and can earn up upwards to 150.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh fabulous.

[Rachel Cruze]

Courtney. That's amazing.

[Jade Warshaw]

And what is what happens to the kids during the day?

[Caller]

So when they're in my. Right now we have a temporary custody order. He is he does have 50%. Okay. And when they're with me, I'm luckily enough to have my parents help watch them.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. I was going to ask about family. Do you. I just want to make sure you have some people in your corner that you're getting. Giving, if nothing else, emotional support from.

[Caller]

Absolutely. I'm very blessed.

[Rachel Cruze]

Good, good. Well, you called in with two moms and girl. I'd find hell for their health if it was a health situation. I'm doing anything for my kids. If it's a situation of. Yeah. Anything around. If you feel like they're in danger in any level. Level, I'm fighting. So that's what I would be doing. And we can worry about the money on the other end of it. But I also will say this with the asterisk because of his gosh power, whatever it all is, I don't want you dragging. For your sake, too. Dragging this on for three years and

[Jade Warshaw]

for the kids sake.

[Rachel Cruze]

And for the kids sake. Right. And not even from the money side, but just. Just for you. Right. And moving on with your life and starting to rebuild Courtney. Right. And who you're going to be in this next chapter of your life. So. Yeah. So I. I don't know if there's a time limit. I don't know if you've had anyone that's walked through something like this that you're close with, but you know what I'm saying, Like, so I say all of that like, my mom heart is just like, I am going to be kicking down doors, but then on the other end, I'm like, but I also want to be realistic about this. Does that make sense?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. And I just want to ask, where'd your lawyer come from? Was this somebody highly recommended? Was this just somebody you found on Google? How'd you find your lawyer?

[Caller]

It was a recommended lawyer. Extremely successful lawyer. Wonderful, wonderful review. Not reviews, but just people in my life that know him. That means that comes with a pricey, you know, price tag, for sure. But he's a very extremely reputable lawyer here in California.

Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

And is he mean? Cause I'm like, I feel like you need somebody who is gonna go hard.

[Caller]

Yeah, he's very hard.

Okay.

No, but at the end of the day, I just feel like sometimes with these lawyers, it's a business to them. I mean, every email I send is $400. Every phone call is 600. So, you know, he's great in that aspect, and he's really focusing because I won't get anything right as far as assets Division of property. Nothing. Child support.

18 years.

Exactly. So you have 18 years of child support that this is worth fighting for. Because, you know, it's. He's a multimillionaire. And, you know, if it can change. I currently get a thousand dollars a month from him. And if I can get up, you know, towards 6 to 8,000amonth.

[Jade Warshaw]

See, this is so crazy.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Jade Warshaw]

This is so crazy. I'm sorry you're going through this. I really am.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Jade Warshaw]

I really am. Yeah, I. I'd be going to the mat on this. I'd go as. As long as. As you can. And I agree with Rachel. I think there's probably. And I think that'll be revealed to you if it comes to that point. I pray it doesn't. I like to think that who people are truly shows itself. And that would be my prayer, is that who this guy is is shown to the judges and shown to all who are involved. He's clearly making this difficult. And to me, that is such a red flag when somebody is intentionally trying to make things difficult on the next parties and on the children. Like, is that really the person that the children should be with, that they're intentionally causing dissension? But I hate that this is happening to you.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, but, Courtney, you're amazing. You're an amazing mom. You took an extremely brave, vulnerable, scary step to go out on your own and knowing that you only had so much and you're going to be fighting your way. And let me tell you, your kid. Kids are that. That's the example that set in front of them is you. And they're. And they are. They're lucky to have you. So, girl, keep fighting. Call us back if you need us. And man, yeah, again, we're so, so sorry.

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[Jade Warshaw]

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[Rachel Cruze]

Buying or selling your home is high stakes because one bad deal could cost you tens of thousands of dollars. And you guys, you do not want to overpay for your next house or when you sell your current one. You want to make sure that you are getting the price that is worth it again, if you are either selling or buying. And that's why Ramsey trusted connects you with the vetted real estate agents who have the experience to guide you step by step to make smart decisions and not have expensive mistakes. We want to avoid those. So connecting is easy. And you can compare agent profiles, interview your top choices, and pick the right one for you. So go find a local Ramsey trusted agent who has your best interest at heart for [e-mail] agent or click the link in the description if you're listening on YouTube or podcast. All right, let's head to Rebecca in Sioux Falls. Hi, Rebecca. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi, guys.

So my husband and I, we bring in right around 32,000 a year. We rent. Our rent just went up from 850 to 1250amonth. I bring in roughly about 1500 dollars a month gross before with Spark doing Walmart. Spark. And I also have. I'm an artist and I bring in roughly on the low end, 400amonth, high end, 600. We just barely are getting by.

[Rachel Cruze]

Was that 2000 total? Rebecca, your art was the 400 and the 1500 is. Was your Spark Walmart delivery?

[Caller]

Yep.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so 2000 and what's he do? What's your husband do?

[Caller]

He's in construction. So on a good week, if he is allowed to work overtime, he can bring in like, his checks will usually be about 1400. That's what the overtime. If not, it's maybe $1100 every two weeks.

[Jade Warshaw]

How long has he been doing that at?

[Caller]

He's been with the company only about a year.

Okay.

We moved. We moved up to South Dakota roughly two and a half years ago from Missouri because God told us to move up here. And it just, it's great. There's no state taxes up here, but like, like everywhere else in the country, rent is just outrageous.

[Jade Warshaw]

No, I'm, I'm gonna Go ahead and say rent's not the problem here. 850 is fabulous rent. And honestly that's fine.

[Caller]

But it went up to 1250.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right, but 1250 is fabulous rent. 1250 is not bad. I think the issue is, I'm not going to say, I think I know the issue is, it's an income issue. $32,000. $32,000 for two adults working. It's going to be almost impossible to survive on that. And that's what you're feeling, that's the weight. It's kind of like the walls are closing in on you, I think. And you, you have every right to feel that way. So what Rachel and I are going to try to do is help you and hopefully inspire you guys to see what more can you do to bring in a stable income. Because to your point, it's very tough to get ahead when you don't have margin. And also to your point, there's variable expenses that have the ability to go up and you can't control that. And so the only part that you can control is your contribution. And so let's talk about that a little bit. You said you're an artist and you said you're doing Walmart Spark. If we could snap our fingers right now and it's three years from now or five years from now and you're doing exactly what it is that you love, what would that be?

[Caller]

That would be my art.

[Jade Warshaw]

Which is what?

[Caller]

Watercolor painting. And I've started like a greeting card business and I sell my cards like at various little gift shops and cafes.

And

I would love to, I would, I would love to like get into something bigger. Maybe, maybe not like Hallmark, but like all my cards are like Christian focused. I put scripture on them and like people love them and, and the other thing is I paint each one separately. So you're never gonna get like the exact same card twice in a row.

[Jade Warshaw]

So you're an artist, you're artistic, you love people you like, encouraging. I'm hearing all these things that you love to do do. What I would love for you is to continue doing that thing that gives you a lot of joy. But in the meantime I also want to find a way to use those same skill sets in a full time job that's actually, that's not a side hustle but a, A, a full time money paying regularly job. And so we're going to give you find the work you're wired to do because those jobs exist out there. I think you're just narrowing your focus to I only can paint.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. How old are you? How old are you guys?

[Caller]

I'm 49 and he's 48.

[Rachel Cruze]

Do you guys have kids?

[Caller]

I have a child from previous marriage that wants nothing to do with me.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

So I pay, I pay like child support every month and that's, that's like.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

Only interaction I get. So.

Okay.

So.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. So your second kind of your second chapter in life. Life.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

What's it going to be?

[Caller]

And I, and I. And I. And I feel it's just like, you know, we're both getting up to 50. We have no. I, like, we don't have any retirement saved up other than like what he possibly.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, Rebecca, I'm going to say something. I think you just need to go get a job.

[Jade Warshaw]

A job.

[Rachel Cruze]

I think you need to go work at a. Be a receptionist at a dentist office there in Suvalls. I think you need to go work a receptionist at a hotel. You, you got. You guys are 50. You. Yeah. Time sick.

[Jade Warshaw]

You don't have time. You don't.

[Rachel Cruze]

You know, and, and I know you love the art stuff and do it on the side because I would love for something like that to take off. And, and, and in the meantime, obviously be dreaming about what that full time career could be that you love exactly what Jay was saying. But right now, you know, you're not 2, 222 year olds, you know, trying to figure it out.

[Jade Warshaw]

And I'll be honest, I thought you were at first, but your voice sounds young and the way you were talking, I was like, oh, these cats are. Yeah, they're, they're, they're in their 30s. 30s. But when I hear that you're 49 and in, in the 50s, Rachel is exactly right.

[Rachel Cruze]

And husband. Same thing. Let's. Let's get on it, dude. You know what I mean? I mean, and I know, I know maybe you've tried. I'm not sure. But I do want you guys. I want you in, in, in full. I want you in careers. You know, we just talked to a single mom who's going through a divorce last segment, and she just found a job making 60 commission sales to one. You know, I mean, I don't know what you can plug into, but we got to kind of get this gravy train moving.

[Jade Warshaw]

What do you attribute it?

[Caller]

I don't try to hold on. I don't try to hold on to this and make this as an excuse. So don't take it that way.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay?

[Caller]

But I am on. I am on the spectrum. And so being in Like a really busy place with a lot of people. That's like shuts me down.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

And so that's, that's why.

[Jade Warshaw]

But what about work from home?

[Rachel Cruze]

Work from home? I wonder.

[Jade Warshaw]

Customer service, Call service? I mean, going tell you, let me tell you about this because this is not the be all, end all, but it is something that exists out there. When I was first getting started in my career, this is kind of a side hustle, but it's a way to start getting you some experience. There's a website, it's called Arise a R I S E. And you can go on there and it's all customer service jobs. All you need is a computer and a little phone headset and you can pick, you can work for aaa, you can work for Home Depot, you can work for an electric company. And, and it's you, you can make, you know, $20 an hour just doing that. And you can pick your hours. And so start with something like that where at least we're getting our hours up. And that's something you can do alongside all the other things you're doing. So let's start stacking these options together and create. Cuz what I want from both of you, I want you both making 30,000. Let's start there. I make 30, you make 30. Now we make 60. And then we go, I make 40, you make 40. Now we make 80. 80. And let's stairstep these goals. But I really think you and your husband need to write it out.

[Rachel Cruze]

I mean, if both of you did that, if you did that, and you did 20 hours a week, 40 hours a week, you'd be bringing him around 36,000. Yes. And if he did it too, bada bing, bada boom.

[Caller]

Just right there.

[Rachel Cruze]

70 grand coming in. Rebecca, promise me you'll go on. That's, that's wild. Do you agree with me, Rebecca? That's wild. You just went from 32, you both working full time time to seven.

[Caller]

Like, we had savings saved up to like 10 grand.

But I want more than that really bad.

I do. I'm just saying, like, we did have savings saved up last year. I was in a really bad car accident, hit a deer.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

Broke ribs, all that.

[Rachel Cruze]

I hear you. I totally hear you. And I want to be respectful for sure. But I also you called and we want to give you tough love because we, we got about 10 seconds. So I just want to tell you, you can do better than 10 grand, Rebecca. You really can. You guys got to just churn out some hours for two or three Years be tired at the end of the day, real tired. But you guys got this. I think that's your way out. And you guys get to choose if you want to do it or not. And life is hard, for sure. We all have different challenges and things that we face. But you got this, Rebecca. You guys can do this. Hey, guys, it's Rachel Cruz. If you're working the baby steps, every major expense deserves a second look. And health care is one of the biggest expenses in most families budgets. And that is why I recommend that you check out Christian Healthcare Ministry Ministries. CHM isn't insurance. It's a health cost sharing ministry that means members help pay one another's medical bills. And they've been serving Christians since 1981. CHM programs start at just $115 a month. And here's why that matters. If you are paying more than you need to for health care, that money could be going toward paying off debt, building your emergency fund, or reaching your next financial goal. And your monthly cost isn't based on your medical history or where you live, y'. All. A lot of families find CHM gives them more room in the budget. That's why so many members say they're better with CHM. And right now, new members can receive a 50% credit towards their first month of membership. Go to chministries.org budget and use promo code RAMSEY. That's chministries.org budget and promo code Ramsey. Up next, we have Brianna or Brianna maybe from Austin. Okay, tell me how you pronounce your names because I don't want to get it wrong the whole call.

[Caller]

You're good.

It's Brianna.

[Rachel Cruze]

Brianna. Perfect. Thanks for calling in. How can we help?

[Caller]

So me and my husband have been trying to have a baby the last two years, but we decided discovered that we have to do IUI if we're going to do it. We have about 90,000 in consumer debt. The majority of that is student loans. And we just kind of want to see if we're on the right timeline to start stork mode.

[Jade Warshaw]

How do you pay for the iui?

[Caller]

So we want to cash flow it like kind of in the middle of the debt payoff. So our plan was to pay off all of our credit cards and our car loan, pause the debt, snowball cash flow the IUI each month, which is about 2,500 per cycle.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

And then once that's successful, start the student loan payments. Because I will graduate on the first week of September, so my payments won't officially start until six Months after.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, how much was. When you said pay off the credit cards in the car first? What is. What are those two totals?

[Caller]

We have one credit card which is about 14,000. Our car loan is 60, 100. And then we have one more credit card that's about 1,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

Was that included in the 90,000 or is that additional?

[Caller]

That's included. Included.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, gotcha. Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

And why did you. What caused you to choose those three kind of arbitrarily? Like, what's the thought behind that?

[Caller]

Just because the minimum payments are the highest with the interest rate and stuff, and my school payments aren't mandatory yet. Right now, I've just been making payments.

[Jade Warshaw]

Are you still actively taking student loans?

[Caller]

No.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. Okay. And when do you finish again? Tell us again when you're done.

[Caller]

First week of September.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. I love the fact that you're going to Cash Flow. IUI I think that that's fabulous. And you guys are already married, right? Just making sure. Okay. I don't have a problem with this plan. I think the moment that you are pregnant is the moment that you push pause on your debt payoff. The moment that you go to the doctor and they're like, yeah, it's. It's. It's positive. That's the moment that you can kind of push pause and start stacking up a bunch of money for Stork Mode. And that money, I mean, hopefully everything is healthy and everything goes well, and then you'll have this big pile of money that's there after the baby's born and everybody goes home healthy that you can put towards the. This debt. How much margin do you guys have every month to work with?

[Caller]

About 3,000. My husband's a firefighter, so some months he gets six months out of the year, he gets three checks, and then six months out of the year, he gets two checks that month.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, and when do you guys want to start this?

[Caller]

Our credit cards and car loans should all be paid off by January with kind of our timeline.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, gotcha. And then you would just use that 3,000 of margin to cash flow and maybe throw 500 bucks at the debt as you're going?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. And why are y' all waiting till January? I'm just curious. You just want to get some debt out. Is that a priority before you start?

[Caller]

So when I give birth, I want to stay at home, and so then we'll be living off of one income, and I just don't think we can afford all of the loan, the credit card payments and student loans and the car Loan while on one income.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's good. Have you budgeted it out detailed?

[Caller]

Yeah, we have every dollar, we have an every dollar budget.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, but the, the future, I mean, have you done a detailed budget of what you think the future will look like on the one paycheck, the one salary?

[Caller]

Kind of sorting that out today. This is just kind of our plan that we've been working out this week. I haven't taken an official look at

it, but we should be able to

live just fine on um, food, water, shelter, transportation and then have some leftover.

[Rachel Cruze]

What's your degree in?

[Caller]

Zoology.

[Rachel Cruze]

Zoology?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. Did you have a plan of what you wanted to do? Did you when you started school?

[Caller]

Yeah, I wanted to be a zookeeper and that's what I'm doing right now. I've coming up on one year.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, gotcha.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, my, my advice on this would be be to run out the budget and really look at it and make sure that detail for detail, you actually know what the money's gonna be. Because I will say, Rachel, there is something to be said about having the right amount of margin. Cause if you are staying home with kids, you don't want to just be home in the house with kids. You want to be able to go and take them to the zoo or go and do, you know, fun things. So I would suggest doing that and I'll just throw out here. You know, the way that we teach debt is to do the debt snowball method. We find that for people who really want to complete paying off all of their debt, the snowball method is better, which is you listing them smallest to largest by balance and then paying minimum payments on everything but putting that extra margin in your case, 3,000 to the smallest debt. You may find that if it's a list of, you know, I'm sure these student loans are broken up into smaller pieces. So you may find that if it's a list of seven or eight debts, you can knock out half of them. And that feels really great. And you like the feeling of that momentum. I also wanted to ask, how old are you? You guys.

[Caller]

He just turned 24 a couple days ago and I'm 23.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. Yeah. And let me just also say this. I'm just going to say this. I'm not saying it's not your choice, cuz it totally is and I love babies. It's never going to be easier to pay off debt than it is today.

[Rachel Cruze]

Y.

[Jade Warshaw]

So let me just throw that out there. Once, once little, little butts come into the situation, it Gets different. So let me just throw that out there.

[Caller]

If we were to just wait and just pay off everything, I think we would be done in two years or less. The only thing, my husband's not on course with starting the student loans because we're not required to for six months. So he's wanted to knock out all the credit card and the car loan. So I haven't been able to get him on board with that. Because several of the student loans are under $3,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

You may not be required to, but I would look and see if they're subsidized or unsubsidized, because if they're unsubsidized, they're subsid. Okay. But even still, what an opportunity. It's almost like when we had. Right. There was no interest accruing. So view that as this is an opportunity to pay off our debt without interest versus well, we don't have to touch them. So let's not touch them. I would.

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

And I. And just because of your age. And again, everyone's value. You know, I don't want to ever say to someone like, don't have babies by any means, because this may be yalls choice, but I would be curious because you just. And a part of me is like, oh, man, you just finished your degree. Degree.

[Jade Warshaw]

Get in there.

[Rachel Cruze]

And I don't know if, like, you get a raise with this degree or not, or if you would have had this job regardless of the degree, but a part of me was like, if I'm paying off these student loans about something I just got, I don't know, there's like a mental game there for me that I think there would be like an extra push to be like, you know what? I'm gonna work my butt off for another nine months extra than what I was planning. And I say that partly because you're still young and I would just get, man, the freedom there of not having to feel pressure to work if you do get pregnant. And since it is a situation that you're having to do this IUI you want to be extra protective. Right. That cautiousness in the pregnancy. I'm going to say when it happens on if I pray when it happens for you. I don't know, just some thoughts to kick around. But I think also you guys paying off the loans that you talked about paying off and then cash flowing it, which I so appreciate. And then having still that momentum after it works to. To knock out as much as you can.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes, ma'.

[Caller]

Am.

[Rachel Cruze]

Before baby comes, it will only Help you from the math perspective. So that's, that's always helpful. But yeah, that's what's hard is money. That's like debt specifically. That's why we always said the borrower slaves on the. When you're in debt, it just limits your choices. It creates extra hurdles in your life. You have to then say, can I stay home? I want to be a stay at home mom. Do we have the ability to. We have these like. Right. It just, it puts you in this like, bondage cycle that you're not, you don't have autonomy. You're not the owner of your life at that point. All these banks and student loans are kind of directing that. And that's part of what sucks about debt. I'm like, it is what it is. You can get your credit card, airline points, all you people, but this girl's got what, $14,000 in credit card debt. It didn't help her. Like, didn't help them, them.

[Jade Warshaw]

It's causing her to have to wait.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes, yes. Like, all of it. I'm like, it's just. There is such wisdom, you guys in this debt free living that you, you, you own your choices in your life and it's a beautiful. And you sleep good at night, you know, knowing that.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. And the sooner, the sooner that you start that lifestyle, just the better you off. Off you are. I mean, when people call in here and they were blessed that their parents understood their baby steps and they start their life off, no debt, I mean, they are just on such a smooth path going forward. And at 23, they really have the ability to create that for themselves here in the next 18 to 24 months.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's right. Absolutely.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

There's a, a truth in changing your family tree. So you parents out there with young kids, as you're working this, your kids are seeing this and you're setting them up for a better life, not just from a numbers perspective, but a behavioral perspective as well. Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fairwinds Credit union studio. I am Rachel Cruze here with Jade Warshaw and we are answering your questions about life and money. So give us a call at 888-2552. The phone lines are packed, but give us a call and maybe we can get you in maybe this show or later this week, Jade, I think we're hosting again together. So we'll be around people. We'll be around. All right, let's go to Charlie in Omaha. Hi, Charlie. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hey, thank you.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. Thanks for calling in.

[Caller]

Yeah, over the last few years, I've been building a relationship with the neighborhood, and they're kind of living like normal people. Broke, basically. And I'm just wondering if you guys got any tips on how to, like, introduce them to Ramsey Solution Universe and the baby steps without overstepping boundaries, I guess.

[Rachel Cruze]

How do you know that they're broke? Do they tell you?

[Caller]

They kind of tell me.

Yeah. And then.

Well, yeah, they basically tell me.

[Rachel Cruze]

So you guys are talking about money, like in some of your. Just like everyday conversations, hanging out, and they'll talk about that they're stressed or.

[Caller]

Yeah, it seems to come up that they're stressed fairly often.

And then

their 11 year old actually slipped up and basically said he helps pay for groceries sometimes to me the other day. Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

Are they saying it like. Like, when they're saying it, they're, like, asking you for help or they're just shooting the breeze and just mentioning things.

[Caller]

Kind of just shooting the breeze and mentioning things. So that's the thing. I don't even know if they want help.

[Jade Warshaw]

Got you.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, if y' all are that casual in conversation, I think if. I mean, I know there's, like, parenting, you know, experts that I love or whatever, and when a friend's just talking about that, I'm like, well, have you listened to, you know, so and so Podcast is. It's so good. Good. It's not threatening. It's like, I'm excited about it because I love it and I want them to know. So it's not like you're judging them or anything, but I just wonder if you threw it out. Like, oh, my gosh. Well, have you listened to the Ramsey show or have you ever read any of, you know, Dave Warshaw, Rachel Cruz, or Dave Ramsey's books? Like, you know, have you. Are you familiar with them? I would just be curious what they would say.

[Jade Warshaw]

Like, super light. Like, don't go. Not even going into details.

[Rachel Cruze]

Just like.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, man. Yeah, just like that.

[Caller]

Okay.

Yeah, just take it. Yeah, super light. And I guess.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, super light.

[Caller]

And I say that because, like, just throw it out there maybe the next couple times, and then.

[Jade Warshaw]

No, no, no, keep it.

[Caller]

Keep it super light.

[Jade Warshaw]

And I'm saying this because. And you know who you are. I'm looking in the camera. Our people. Sometimes we go very strong in the paint. Yes. And it can be off. And it's. We're doing it because we're excited and we really love this thing and we feel like we have the winning lottery number. Right. Like, we. We want to share it. But sometimes being too heavy handed can make people be like, don't be weird.

[Rachel Cruze]

Don't be weird, Charlie.

[Jade Warshaw]

So just do exactly what Rachel said. Exactly. Because I don't think it can be better than that. And then let them.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Talk about it. And then if you've done some stuff and they're like, oh, yeah, I think I have. Like, oh my gosh, I love it. Because, you know, I've paid off debt and da, da. I don't know if you have some story to share, just a little something and you're saying it because it's. Because it's worked for you. You know, I would say the same thing with parenting of like, oh my gosh, I finally learned like X, Y and Z because so and so said it and it was so helpful. And I don't know if that's helpful for you and your situation, but you know what I mean, it's very breezy.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Breezy.

[Jade Warshaw]

And when you say something that's kind of in line with what they're going through that you've experienced, I think it also so kind of. Oh, okay, now we're talking for real.

[Rachel Cruze]

The empathy.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. So I like that. I love that you're thinking about them in that way too. That's special.

[Caller]

Yeah.

I've tried to do it light a little bit over probably the last year or so and so is there.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, so you already did it a little.

[Caller]

I mean, is there a little bit.

Yeah.

Is there ever a time where maybe it requires a little bit.

[Jade Warshaw]

Tell us what you did. Tell us what you did first. So we know he said a.

[Rachel Cruze]

Of.

[Caller]

Well, I mean, they just, they bring it up. And so I'm like, well, have you. Yeah. I mean, have you checked out? You know, Dave Ramsey helped me, you know?

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[Caller]

You guys, you know, you guys need Dave Ramsey in your life for real and just kind of throwing. They.

I don't.

They kind of shrug it off.

And who's that?

I go, a guy who helped me get out of debt. And then I don't think they ever, ever looked him up or looked up you guys. Or, or you've done your part.

[Rachel Cruze]

You've done your part. Then you've been breezy.

[Caller]

Yeah.

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

I don't think that they're interested in.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Anymore. You know what I mean? Like, there, there was no proactiveness.

[Caller]

Yeah.

You can't make somebody interested.

[Rachel Cruze]

I know.

[Caller]

In this kind of.

[Rachel Cruze]

You can't.

[Jade Warshaw]

The hard part.

[Rachel Cruze]

Make people change.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Because you want it for them. Not just so that they're like, that they listen to Ramsey. That's not the point. But is the point. Point is you want them to be helped. You know, you want them to have a plan and be in control of their money. And I think that's a beautiful desire. Right. Cause you see someone that's hurting, and you're like, oh, my gosh. I feel like we have the prescription. We could help you. But doesn't seem like. Yeah, it seems like you've been breezy about it, and they haven't really picked up on it, so I probably wouldn't push. No, I don't think there's a shove.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Unless they ask. If they start asking, they have opened that door and you can run right through it.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's true.

[Rachel Cruze]

Um, but I don't think they're asking.

[Caller]

Yeah, no, they just kind of been. Yeah, they just bring it up almost every time I see them. Really. But they don't ever ask.

[Jade Warshaw]

And. Well, and also, I will throw this out there, but you have. This is you discerning this. It also depends on your relationship and your personality. Because if you. If on a scale from 1 to 10, you're like a 8 in friendship, then I do think that there's the time where you can be like, now, hold on a second. I told you about Dave Ramsey, and you're still asking me about. Right. That's my personality. I would have, you know, with good friends. With good friends. If you're an 8 or 9 on that scale, 100%, I'd be like, now, how many times are you gonna tell me about this? Cause I've already told you. Right. But if you're like a two or three on the scale, I think you just let sleeping dogs lie. And,

[Rachel Cruze]

yeah, it's kind of that earning the right to be heard kind of thing. But as you build relationship with them and you, you know, and if you do get in friendship because you guys get along and you have a lot in common, then to Jade's point. That's right. It's true. If it's like one of your best friends and she. I'm like, girl, stop complaining. You gotta do something about it.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

What's going on? I have a feeling, though, you guys are just out washing the cars and you just, you know, speak to each other across the driveway or whatever.

[Caller]

Yeah, that's kind of it. Yeah. So. Yeah. But I appreciate the information and the little bit of help here.

[Rachel Cruze]

For sure. Well, Charlie, I appreciate your. Yeah. Just your desire to even call and be concerned. Right. Cause, I mean, that's a real thing.

[Jade Warshaw]

Cause here's the thing. And again, I look into the camera because there's folks that watch the show every day and still don't do the things that we're telling them.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's right.

[Jade Warshaw]

So it's very hard, the job we have is very hard to get people to commit to a process, especially a process that's gonna cause you maybe a little discomfort. Maybe to embrace some ideas that are new for you, maybe to embrace a new philosophy with your mind.

[Caller]

Money.

[Jade Warshaw]

Maybe to do something that you can't say today what the exact outcome is going to be. You just have to trust a process. And we're telling you, hey, just. Just do it. Just trust it. We. We know that it works. So. Because we know the outcome is when you walk these baby steps, when you do the things that we're teaching people go on. They don't just pay off their debt. Their relationships are better. They have more peace and yeah, they build wealth. And so, I mean, what can you say?

[Rachel Cruze]

It's a byproduct. I know, but it's. It is amazing when you get one part of your life under control. And we see this all the time, people's. To your point, relationships start to be better. You start to be more intentional about that. People's health changes. People lose weight. I mean, genuinely like. It is. It is wild the things that happen when you become an intentional person. And your money may be the springboard for you when it comes to this stuff. So it is. Yeah, it's important. But yeah. Thanks again, Charlie, for calling. Hope that helped.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[Rachel Cruze]

The Ramsey show question of the day is brought to you by why Refi? If you keep putting off dealing with your private student loans, now is the time. Why? Referral refi helps borrowers explore low fixed rate financing options and affordable, affordable payment plans. Go to yrefi.com Ramsey that's y r e f y.com Ramsey may not be Available in all states.

[Jade Warshaw]

Alrighty. My today's question comes from Claire in South Dakota. She says, my husband and I are 27 and started our family earlier than most of our friends. So we were on the receiving end of wedding and baby gifts several years years ago. Now our social circle is reaching those milestones and we're struggling with what is reasonable financially. We're debt free and genuinely want to be generous. However, we have financial goals and feel like we're constantly blowing our budget. Is there a percentage of income or a sinking fund amount you recommend for gifts and celebrations? How do we scale back spending without feeling selfish? Fish. Okay, not going to lie. I actually thought this was going in a different direction. I thought you were going to say, you know, we were on the receiving end, but now we're getting out of debt and it's hard to budget for these. But you're debt free. And part of, I do want to say just for anybody who's listening and it's, it's good for us to do this, this matters because baby steps one through three are very intense. This is, we're pulling back on everything. We're, you know, we're sacrificing not just in our own lives, but other people around us generally tend to feel the sacrifice too. We don't do as much for Christmas. We might, may not travel for family outings as much. All of those things in baby step one, two and three because we're getting our $1,000 saved, we're paying off consumer debt and then we're saving up three to six months of expenses. That's how that works. But then when you cross over into baby steps four, five and six that people do simultaneously, you're investing 15%, you're putting a little in kids college and you're putting extra on your, your house. That's when we say, now's the time that we can start being a little more generous. We can start spending more on the things that we enjoy doing. We can upgrade vehicles, we can, you know, whatever these other financial goals are. So I have to believe that your other financial goals are tied up in baby steps 4, 5 and 6. That being said, generosity should always be kind of part of that. Now most of us, not most of us, many of us throw our generosity to the local church and we're like, yeah, I'm doing my 10%, I'm doing my tithe. I, that's good. But I do feel like some of relation, some of generosity is relational. Right. I'm going to the party, I pick up A bottle of wine for the host. I'm going out with my friends. We're all ordering appetizers for the table. Like, right. There's a certain amount of your own purse strings that you open up when you're in relationship. So my buddy, my coworker's having a baby, and that's my friend. Yeah. I'm going to give her a gift because that's part of our relationship. And so. So in this stage of your life, I think that you can participate in that stage of the relationship because you've got the money to do that. Now the question is, how much should we do? And I think that that's up to you, but I wanted to lay that foundation so that you don't get stingy is basically what I was trying to do.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's a great point. No, so true. And I think it's okay to look ahead and be like, okay, am I throwing the baby's chat? This, this is how much, you know, I can contribute this much. I don't know. Like, think of all the ways that this generosity can play out. It may not just be in a specific gift. It may be through other things that you're doing.

[Jade Warshaw]

Your house is hosting it.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes, that's right. That's right. Yes. So, but yeah, I would say I don't think you will ever regret being generous. I'll just say that much.

[Jade Warshaw]

And pouring into relationships, you don't have

[Rachel Cruze]

to go get the thousand dollar stroller they registered for or anything like that, but just, you know that the people were good to you and there's just a little bit of like, hey, I'm gonna live my life with an open hands a little bit. And. And yeah, this is a. Gosh, we went through that. The wedding season, everyone's getting married.

[Jade Warshaw]

I will say, yeah, everybody's having.

[Rachel Cruze]

I mean, it is. It is a. Every day you're getting an invite, some kind of shower or something's happening. There is that season of life, and then it goes away. Right? And then you're okay. So I don't know. I would say you would. You won't regret being generous.

[Jade Warshaw]

And I will say, because we've talked about this before, Rachel, the wedding part, if you're like the. In the bridal party and there's all of those things. Now, I will say, you do have to know when to say when on some of that, because it can get. That can get quite overwhelming.

[Rachel Cruze]

That gets out of control. But all the trips and everything they do, I mean, it's wild. Wild. So, yeah, that that is one that you're like, I need to. I may have to rein in some of that.

[Caller]

That's.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's fine. All right, let's go to Mark in Roanoke. Hi, Mark. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Thank you. I'm privileged to be on the show. My wife is a huge fan, so she's gonna flip when she finds out that I actually got on the show.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, my gosh. I can't wait to know why you called.

[Caller]

My wife and I are in a. I'll say a slight disagreement over a very large purchase of a new boat. So I'll go over our financial situation real quick, and then you guys can. Then my plan for purchasing it, and then you can give me your opinion.

Okay.

So we own a house on a lake in Virginia that's worth 1.25 million, paid off between an annuity and in my Social Security. We have guaranteed income of $100,000 per year until we both pass away. My wife is currently working. She makes 65,000 a year. However, I'm trying to get her to retire in the next 18 months.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

We have IRAs worth 1.8 million that made 300,000 in the last 12 months. So the boat that I want to purchase is be around 130,000, and I'm going to need a new truck early next year. My existing truck has 210,000 miles on it, so I'm anticipating I'll be replacing that. And so that'd be 65,000. Okay, so we have a Roth IRA of 200,000. And I was going to cash that in, purchase the boat and the truck for cash.

[Jade Warshaw]

Do you have any other cash? Do you have any. Not like. Do you have any liquid cash?

[Caller]

Well, 20,000.

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

I mean, I think you can afford it. Yes. Now, the cash position makes me a little nervous. How old are you guys?

[Caller]

I'm 65 and my wife is 61.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so you're able to pull money out of the one point IRA for things. I'm just thinking this boat, which I. You're probably wishing Dave was on because he's. He's the boat guy. And. But when these nice boats break, like a nice car, they're expensive to fix and all, you know what I mean? It's just another maintenance thing to think through and have.

[Caller]

We have. We currently have a boat that's. It's a 2000.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so you're gonna upgrade.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, well, can I ask why you're looking to drain the Roth instead of the other. Why wouldn't you take the money from the other ir, the traditional IRA

[Caller]

because of taxes.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. But you're gonna have.

[Caller]

Our income's 165,000. So if I took a hundred, $200,000 out of traditional IRA, I'd have to pay taxes on that.

[Jade Warshaw]

You would what? You would. I'm just thinking you've got a lot of money in traditional accounts that's probably going to want to be converted at some point anyway. And you've got very little in Roth. I almost would want to keep that growing as it's growing tax free. And then if you can handle the. Do you see what I'm saying? That. And I would run, I'd probably run it over with an advisor. But that's kind of what I was thinking. If you don't have a strategy for moving some of that 1.8 into converting that into Roth funds, that might be something to kind of help that process ease about. That was just something I thought of.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. So the way we look at it is that anything with motors and wheels is no more than half of your annual take home pay. So you guys are not working. So it's a little bit of a different. So you have the 65 coming in from your wife. You have 100,000 coming from the, from the annuity and Social Security. And then if you wanted to count the 300,000 from the IR IRA as quote, unquote income for the year, it's what, it's what your investments made. Not quite, but we can be a little bit, you know, squishy on that. I mean, technically you got, you're under it. Yeah. So I mean like from all the math perspective.

[Caller]

Mark.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. I think, I think you're good to go.

[Caller]

All right, great.

[Rachel Cruze]

You got the green light, Captain. Mark.

[Caller]

All right, thanks. Appreciate it.

[Rachel Cruze]

Heading on the lake in his new boat. But think about the truck. Maybe you get a. Maybe you get a used truck.

[Caller]

Mark.

[Rachel Cruze]

Maybe lighten the load a little with the wife. She's nervous about it.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[Caller]

Foreign.

[Rachel Cruze]

We wish we could get to every call and every question on the show. So if you do have a money question that you want answered the Ramsey way, make sure to head over to our website and use Ask Ramsey. Ask Ramsey is our official AI tool that's built and trained on proven Ramsey principles. So you'll get the same answer that you'd get if you were here on the show. This is one thing, Jade. I put this up in my stories a couple days ago just to remind people. Like, hey, click here if you guys have questions. Because we get so many DMs about people's specific situations. And I had more people respond talking about how much they use it and they like love it. So, so make sure to check it out. It's great. Go to again ramseysolutions.com to ask your question. Or you can click the link in the description if you're listening on podcasts or you YouTube. All right, let's go to Mary in Kansas City. Hi, Mary. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi, ladies. Thanks so much for taking my call this afternoon.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. How can we help?

[Caller]

I have a topic within my marriage. The ultimate dream home and how to spend our life savings on a house that will bring fulfillment to us both. We're pretty different people. He's very nice, much a minimalist and a saver. And I gave up my career to become a stay at home mom. I moved to this tiny house in the country, got rid of credit cards, sold all my things, definitely all in on my life with my husband. But we have really been saving the last six years. We are working really hard. We've paid off every debt that we have. We have saved our goal amount of money to buy with cash, which is 100,000. And yeah, I'm really, really proud of us. We've worked hard together. We also have paid off our home that we're living in for around 200 equity in our home. But now that we're looking at what to do next, we have two kids and we're like ready to do the dream home. But like I said, he's a minimalist and very, very frugal. And I'm like, I really just want the dream home, but I just want

[Jade Warshaw]

the dream home cost.

[Caller]

I we are having conversations around like the budget and the size and whether we build on some land. But to be honest, I don't feel like I have all that much weight in the decision. And I think that part of that is due to our traditional roles in the marriage. He does have his name on everything. It's all like his account. And so that Makes me feel.

Yeah.

Some type of way.

[Jade Warshaw]

I would think so.

[Rachel Cruze]

It sounds like some type of way too yielded to a lot of what he has wanted. Not necessarily all that. Maybe you've appreciated the outcome and you appreciate the principles, but the way it's been done feels like it was more of a, you don't really have an option or a say. And then you get to this point on the other side of it, and you still, still feel like in your marriage that your voice is not appreciated or wanted or your opinions aren't looked for and you know, there's an excitement behind what you, you have dreamed about and, and want.

[Caller]

Yeah. Yeah. I, I feel like it's finally time to kind of, like, splurge a little on a home that makes us happy. But he wants a lot less than I do. And I, I feel like it's finally time that my opinion should, should matter because, you know, I'm, I'm home with the kids, and I just wonder, are there, are there like, guidelines or maybe advice you can give us to bring alignment toward our shared goal? I trust my husband and I want to follow his lead, but I just

[Jade Warshaw]

wonder, like, maybe something I'm, well, something I'm worried about, that I hear you saying. It's almost kind of like you've, I abided my time. I, I did my, I do. You know what I mean? Like, I've earned the right for my opinion to be heard is almost what I'm feeling here. I, I, I did all the sacrifice. I stayed home with the kids. I did all this stuff, and now is my time. And I would just like, no, it's the exact opposite. Not selfish at all. I would be saying it should have been like that from day one. You don't have to earn a seat at the table in your own marriage, that you are the table. You know what I'm saying? Like, you, you, you set the table, so of course you're at the table.

[Rachel Cruze]

You're the other adult in the relationship. Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

And it should have been 50, 50 from the jump. And so now you're in a situation which is, is not going to be easy. You've got to untangle that and, and write the ship a bit.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Little, little bit.

[Jade Warshaw]

And the question that I have for you is, let's pretend that you came to your husband tonight when things are not heated, when you're not in the midst of an argument, when you're not in the midst of a debate, and you just came to him and said, you know, I'd love to have A discussion with you about something I've been thinking about, and you kind of start to tell him kind of what you've told us on the phone, which is, you know, I think that I've relinquished some of my, my opinions and I've. I've let go of some of the things that I feel are important, important, and I've kind of backed away from those in favor of doing what you want to do. And I kind of regret doing that. And going forward, I don't want to do that anymore. And here's how it's made me feel.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Rachel Cruze]

And I'm going to start. I'm going to start saying things that are probably uncomfortable because they haven't been voiced. And you can do this all very kindly. Mary, you know, this doesn't have to be abrupt, but you guys have set a marriage. And in the name of. If I can say this to you because, because I live in the south, in the name of a biblical quote unquote, submission role and what it ends up doing, what was supposed to be seen as a good thing has been taken and twisted to where you, Mary, don't have what doesn't feel like value. And you're the other adult in your relationship and you can still respect and love your husband, but he also can love and respect you. Scripture as much says, submit to one another unto yourselves. Like, I mean, so I would not to sit here and get in a theological debate by any means, but there is harm. I can't in doing this show specifically. These calls we get in, there's a pattern that we've seen. And I just want to encourage you, Mary, that you can be an incredible wife and love your husband and you guys can have a great marriage, but that can only be done if two people are participating in making life choices to create a life that you guys love together. And it sounds like he's been the one making all the decisions and. And you're doing it in the name of leading. But he is. He is not holding up his end of the deal of looking at his wife and sacrificing himself and saying, what does my wife want?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

So it is more. It's a marriage dynamic that I don't know if there's a great counselor or marriage therapist maybe who is a believer, but maybe challenges a little bit of some of the ways that this has been done that would be really great to sit and talk to, because I think out of a healthy marriage, this question can be answered. And I'm not sure you're gonna get To a point where you both see eye to eye on a home purchase when this has been the pattern of your. Yeah. Of the marriage. Does that make sense?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

So it actually could be a. This could be seen as such a gift, Mary, that you guys like actually have a chance to look up and be like, oh, wow, we have gotten into this cycle and Winston and I have gotten into cycles of marriage before and we look up and it's been years. And you're like, how did we get into this cycle? And you kind of have to break it. But for the health and the beauty and the good of your marriage. Marriage. So I would say that. But I know you didn't call in for marriage advice. You called in about the home. So I would say if it's within the Ramsey. Obviously paying cash 100% is like amazing. And. But we know that's not realistic for everyone. And if you don't follow that, follow the premise that you guys put down, I would say for you now 20% and that the payment is no more than 25% of your take home pay. You could, you know, there's. There's some wiggle room there if you guys. If you do want to look at other homes. So there. That. I'll give you that permission. Mary, you can dream a little if you want. If it's beyond that 300,000, the equity in the house and the 100,000 that you guys have saved. But I. And you know. And you may settle on the. Or settle. Not settling. You may choose the 300,000, which is totally fine. I just want you at the end of the day to feel like you. You're of a part opinion is valid. And Mary. That. And that he's excited to hear it.

[Jade Warshaw]

You know what I mean?

[Rachel Cruze]

That he like wants to know his wife and wants to know what makes you excited. And he sacrifices himself and his wants and desires for you.

[Caller]

Thank you. Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

But. But that's. That I know that's a. That's a loaded ask that we just gave you.

[Jade Warshaw]

It was right though. Sometimes you need somebody who's outside of the situation. Cause you can't see the forest for the trees. You need somebody else to be able to look and go, wait a second. That doesn't.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's not what it was supposed. That's not what. We'll just go back. That was not what that scripture was set up to do.

[Jade Warshaw]

No.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yep. But you got two wives behind this. Des. Mary. So call us back. We're on the show later this week.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes. Tell us how it goes.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Hey, guys, Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show, we help people work through real money problems and figure out what to do next. Now, you can get that same kind of help anytime without Ask Ramsey. Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey principles we use on the show. Whether you're making a decision or just want something explained, Ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple, and free to use. Go to ramseysolutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's ramseysolutions.com.

[Rachel Cruze]

Our scripture of the day comes from Jeremiah 26:14. As for me, I am in your hands. Do with me whatever you think is good. And right next is from Corey ten Boone. She said, hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.

[Jade Warshaw]

I know that's right. Corey.

[Rachel Cruze]

I love Corey Timpu.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, she's amazing. When I saw that come up for the quote of the day, I was like, I, I love her. She's amazing. Amazing woman. She was. All right, let's head to Jessica, and she is in Denver. Hi, Jessica. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi.

Thank you so much for having me.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. How can we help?

[Caller]

Hi.

So I had a question concerning financial secrecy and mine. My husband, we've been married for 10, and I found out a lot of different things that have been kept from me and some finances that have been lied about. And my question is, is how do you go forward with someone when finances are extremely not agreed on and when they're challenged by the wife that they are lied about. And so I just am wondering if there's some guidelines when it comes to financial things that have not been agreed on. And there's been a lot of mistrust placed because of that.

[Jade Warshaw]

What you find out and how did you find it out?

[Caller]

I have a Robinhood account that was. That he made in my name. And without you knowing, with me knowing, he said that he had had his other one shut down. And I didn't, I didn't ask about that, but he made one in my name. And then he was trading on it, had a lot of money put into that account from a savings account that's not in my name, it's in his. Ended up losing that money and then ended up charging it $11,000. Then ended up charging it. This is without me knowing. Okay. Then ended up charging it back, called his bank and charged it back and then went, I saw that the account was shut down immediately by him. And I questioned that and said, hey, you know, this is not making sense of what Went on. At that point, I was lied to that and was told that someone else had logged into the account and taken all that money. Of course a big fight ensued because I did not believe that. And so at the end of this, you know, we went through, you know, a whole long fight about it and he did eventually tell the truth that he did do that.

[Jade Warshaw]

What other things does he lie about? Because usually you, unless someone has a pattern of lying, you usually tend to believe them when they tell you things the first time. So what else does he lie about?

[Caller]

About four years ago, we had gone on vacation, charged it to a credit card that we were going to pay off totally fine. We had the money to do it. A day after we got back from the vacation, he texted me and said, hey, you know, if you see a chargeback for a Walmart chargeback. I called the bank because I saw something that wasn't unauthorized. Well, the next thing I know, the whole account is zero. When we had just charged $5,000 to the account. And so I had said there's no way that that was just a Walmart chargeback. And you know, we didn't do that in the first place. Why did you go ahead and charge all of that back when that was a valid charge for that vacation? Same happened. Just very, very angry that I had, you know, called him out on that and he kept lying about it. And until, you know, I just kept pressing and pressing and then the truth comes out. And I'm very honest person. I really take that very seriously. And it bothers me that I feel like I can't have a trustworthy husband. And then in dealings with someone else, I found out some things about some different deals that he had done that weren't honest and he ended up charging it back. And that was very recent. So that's why I'm calling in because it just seems like a pattern throughout the years of charging things back or taking money when it wasn't supposed to be taken and then lying about it. To me.

[Jade Warshaw]

How long have you been married? 10 years.

[Caller]

About 10 years.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, is he,

[Rachel Cruze]

is he at all repentive and wants to change and wants to work on it or is everything defensive

[Caller]

in the fight? Everything is extremely defensive and very adamant that he did not do the things that I know he did

after.

Go ahead.

[Jade Warshaw]

I was going to say, have you had conversations about the behavior that you've brought up in a non argumentative time? So just.

[Caller]

Absolutely.

[Jade Warshaw]

And what do those con. What are those conversations like?

[Caller]

Very apologetic. I'm not going to do it anymore. But then when there's financial strain, it ends up happening over and over again.

[Jade Warshaw]

So what do you want? What do you. When you. When listening to what you've told us,

[Rachel Cruze]

do you guys do. Sorry, can I ask this real quick? Do you guys work on your money together? Jessica. Like, do you do a budget? Y' all sit down and talk about it.

[Caller]

I have tried to push for that. We have one account together. And then throughout the years, I have found that he's created several other accounts that I did not have access to. And that's another point of contention because I do want those things together so that I. So there is a.

[Jade Warshaw]

Do you work?

[Caller]

Does he work or do I know.

[Jade Warshaw]

Do you work?

[Caller]

I do, yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

What do you earn?

[Caller]

I earn 120.

[Jade Warshaw]

And what's he earn?

[Caller]

He is currently laid off. So when he was. He was making 90.

[Jade Warshaw]

How long has he been laid off

[Caller]

for about four months.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

And it's kind of been a pattern with that as well. We'll. We'll work for about a year. And sometimes it hasn't been his fault as far as being laid off, but it's always. I've. I've been the one with a stable job, and it's always been where we've get in these emergency situations where I have to pick up the slack or something like this is done. Because there's like an emergent thing that on. On his end that he feels like he needs the money for. It just feels like a revolving door for me. So when you say, what do I want out of this? It's like, it's very hard to see a way forward. And I'm trying see it because I do want our marriage to work, but it is very difficult for me to. To see what that path looks like.

[Jade Warshaw]

Have you ever. Have you ever done any counseling with him? Has he ever been open to that?

[Caller]

No. And that is. I have had counseling myself. I've reached out myself. Up until this point with this last incident, he has refused counseling.

[Jade Warshaw]

And that's a big deal, I want to say, because whenever there's a partnership like marriage, obviously it has to be two people who are willing to grow together, that are willing to grow as individuals, that are always willing to better themselves. And if one person puts a stop on it and says, I refuse, and

[Rachel Cruze]

not even better, really tough. But even to go, what my wife's asking me after, I just won't do it. I absolutely lied over and over and over, and I refuse to do it like, even that. You know what I mean? Is. Yeah, that's a big red flag. Cause my prayer would be that. And we get these calls sometimes to give some men in the situation grace, that they get in trouble financially, that they've done money, they've taken care of all the money, and they haven't been able to pay the bills, so they charge a credit card one month. And then they end up in this bad cycle. And it's like this horrible thing. And it's not good because they didn't tell their wife. But then it was. You know, then she found out, but this is why. And then they're trying to work together and rebuild.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Like.

[Rachel Cruze]

Like there's salvageable situations. You know what I mean? In this. And my prayer would be the. I don't know, the golden stake would be that you find redemption in this. And over time, slowly, he chooses to rebuild trust. Take the steps that you need him to take for you to feel good over a period of time. I mean, I'm talking.

[Jade Warshaw]

It takes some time.

[Rachel Cruze]

Two years or something. Something of him doing what you need, Jessica, because he did this for what you need to rebuild trust. And that if one of those things is going to therapy once a week for nine months, it's like, we're gonna go. We're gonna do this. Jessica, have your own account over here so you don't have to, you know, if you feel safer doing this, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it is a. It's a total. Just surrender. But if that.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

If.

[Rachel Cruze]

If you can't get there, it's hard to move forward. So. Oh, Jessica, I'm sorry. I wish we had more time to. To talk it through, but. Yep, we're. We're thinking about you. Well, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of peace, Christ Jesus.