Are We Obligated To Give Our Dad Money?

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Episode: Are We Obligated To Give Our Dad Money?
Air Date: September 21, 2025
Guests: Dave Ramsey, Chris Hogan
Caller: Jenna

This episode centers on Jenna’s complex family financial situation. She seeks advice about whether she and her brother are obligated to give their father a portion of rental income they earn from the family home, which their father sold to them at a substantial discount. The conversation explores issues of family boundaries, financial wisdom, and obligations to relatives—delivered in The Ramsey Show's trademark candid and practical tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Background: The House Deal (00:06–02:13)

• Jenna explains the financial arrangement:

  • Her father sold the childhood home to her and her elder brother in 2021 for $450,000, though it was worth $1.3 million at the time.
  • The sale included the condition that their dad could remain living on the property, rent and utility free.
  • Jenna and her brother rent out part of the house, netting $3,400 per month in profit.

• Father’s Financial Situation:

  • He lives on Social Security, claims money is tight, and recently requested $400/month from their rent profits.
  • Jenna’s brother agreed, but Jenna felt hesitant, wanting to review their father’s finances before committing, and concerned about setting future financial precedents.

Dave Ramsey (02:13): “He gave you a million dollar house for half a million… and yet he ran out of money. So the whole thing, he's a single dad, he hasn't saved for retirement's bull crap. Because he would have had a half a million dollars in the account living off of that and not been calling you if he had just simply sold this house.”

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2. Moral, Ethical & Practical Obligations (02:13–04:53)

• Dave Ramsey’s Take:

  • Highlights that Jenna’s father made an unwise financial decision by transferring so much value to his children without securing his own future.
  • Stresses that the father’s primary obligation should have been to his own retirement before gifting assets.

• On Jenna’s Feelings of Guilt and Obligation:

  • Dave acknowledges that, “Morally, ethically, spiritually, anything,” Jenna is not obligated to provide financial support.

  • Yet, he suggests that despite her lack of obligation, it’s reasonable to help:

    Dave Ramsey (04:21): “But if someone had given me a half a million dollar gift and in return they're asking for $200... I wouldn't think anything about giving them $200.”

  • Advice: Dave would give the money—not because he must, but out of gratitude and love for the father’s earlier generosity.

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3. Concerns About Family Dynamics & Boundaries (04:53–07:39)

• Jenna’s Main Concern:
  • Worries her father might actually pass the money along to their younger brother, who is not considered responsible and was not included in the initial house deal.

Jenna (05:45): “My biggest worry is that he is... going to give it to my little brother because my little brother just is—doesn't do anything.”

• Dave’s Advice:
  • Jenna should make her support conditional on the money truly going to her father for his needs, not being redirected to the younger sibling.
  • Reaffirms that the younger brother should not be added retroactively to the house deed or profit split.

Dave Ramsey (06:46): “No, we're not redoing the deal... The deal's done. But again, you see how haphazard this whole thing was when y'all did this deal? It shouldn't have happened. It was a bad deal for your dad and he didn't think it through well. And now he's trying to come back and slide the brother in. And now he's trying to come back and slide 400 bucks out because he should have never done this in the first place.”

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4. Family Lessons & Moving Forward (07:39–End)

• Critical Thinking is Valid:
  • Chris Hogan reassures Jenna that her careful approach isn’t bratty, but is a form of responsible, critical thinking.
  • Dave and Chris urge Jenna to approach the situation with love—not resentment—but to also set healthy, clear boundaries.

Chris Hogan (08:31): “I don't think you're being a brat for asking these questions. You asked that at the beginning, and I think you're having some, like, critical thinking.”
Dave Ramsey (08:38): “You've got some concerns that are valid... I want to do it through the lens of love. I love my dad, and he was generous to me, and I want to make sure he's okay... But, if he's going to give it to the little brother and the little brother's buying weed with it—no, we're not doing that.”

• Summary Guidance:
  • Help dad if possible, but only if:
    • She can verify funds are for his actual needs.
    • The arrangement doesn’t set up extra family conflict or renegotiations of past agreements.
  • Use the situation as a family learning experience.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [02:13] Dave Ramsey:
  “He gave you a million dollar house for half a million… and yet he ran out of money… So the whole thing, he's a single dad, he hasn't saved for retirement's bull crap.”

• [04:21] Dave Ramsey:
  “If someone had given me a half a million dollar gift and in return they're asking for $200... I wouldn't think anything about giving them $200.”

• [06:46] Dave Ramsey:
  “No, we're not redoing the deal... But again, you see how haphazard this whole thing was when y'all did this deal? It shouldn't have happened... He was too broke to be giving away half million dollar gifts.”

• [08:31] Chris Hogan:
  “I don't think you're being a brat for asking these questions...”

• [08:38] Dave Ramsey:
  “I want to do it through the lens of love. I love my dad, and he was generous to me, and I want to make sure he's okay... But, if he's going to give it to the little brother and the little brother's buying weed with it—no, we're not doing that.”

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Key Timestamps

• 00:06 — Jenna explains the history of the house sale and her concern about giving her father money.
• 01:14 — Detail of financial transactions, house value, and logistics.
• 02:13 — Dave critiques the original deal, calls out the father’s financial mismanagement.
• 04:21 — Dave weighs moral/ethical obligations and his personal approach.
• 05:45 — Jenna expresses concern about money for the younger brother.
• 06:46 — Dave shuts down the idea of renegotiating the family agreement.
• 08:31 — Chris and Dave affirm Jenna’s concerns and give closing guidance.

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Takeaways

• Jenna and her brother are not obligated to give their father financial support, but doing so out of gratitude can be appropriate—provided clear boundaries and transparency.
• The episode highlights the importance of thorough financial planning and candid family communication.
• Setting boundaries and ensuring funds meet actual needs (not redirected to another sibling) is essential.
• Family deals involving large sums or property merit careful, upfront planning to avoid future conflicts and regrets.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Jenna]

I was calling because I'm looking for some guidance. So a little backstory. My dad sold us, me and my older brother, our childhood home back in 2021. And, like, the stipulation was that he could still live on the property and not have to pay, like, rent or utilities. And we, my older brother and I rent out the house, and we make about $3,400 a month in profit off the rent. And my dad right now, who's single parent growing up and everything, so he didn't pay for retirement. He lives off Social Security and says money is tight right now. And he reached out to us and asked if we could give him $400 from the profit of their rent each month. And my older brother was like, sure, 100%. And I just, like, did not feel good about it. I was like, I think we need to look at your finances first, like, figure out why money is tight and. And then, like, draw some boundaries so it's not like every year like, oh, I need 500, 600, and it add up and everything. And I recognize, like, none of this money is coming out of my own pocket. It's like, purely just profit. And I don't know if I sound like a brat as a child by not just giving it to him. And so I'm just looking for guidance.

[Dave Ramsey]

He sold you the house?

[Jenna]

Yes, so we did a. So he sold it to. Or we did a parent to child transfer, and all he wanted was 50,000, and then we took over the rest of the mortgage. But, like, me and my brother are on title and loan. Like, it's legally our house.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And so what was at the time that the mortgage plus 50,000 at the time this happened was how much?

[Jenna]

450,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

So he had a mortgage of 400 and you gave him 50,000 cash?

[Jenna]

Well, we did a cash out refinance, so we gave him 50,000 from that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, okay. And so the two of you have a $450,000 mortgage now, and at the time that he sold you the house for 450,000, what was the home worth?

[Jenna]

Like 1.3.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Okay. So. And now he doesn't have any money.

[Jenna]

He says, yeah, money is tight, but.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, he doesn't have any money. He had 50,000 bucks, and that was many years ago. And he's gone through that and he lives on the property. Humbly.

[Jenna]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

After he gave you a half a million dollars, he's not very wise. He shouldn't have given you that money. He shouldn't have given you this house.

[Jenna]

I know.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, not. I mean, his first obligation is to pay his own bills. His second obligation or his second. The only after you're paying your bills and have a plan for your bills, do you start giving stuff away.

[Jenna]

Yes, I think he had that plan. I think things. I'm not sure that's why I wanted to look at his finances. But I look at it because the house is worth a lot of money. And then I feel like it was.

[Dave Ramsey]

Worth a lot of money when he gave it to you.

[Jenna]

Mm.

[Dave Ramsey]

He gave you a million dollar house for half a million.

[Jenna]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And yet he ran out of money. So the whole thing, he's a single dad. He hasn't saved for retirement's bull crap. Because he would have had a half a million dollars in the account living off of that and not been calling you if he had just simply sold this house.

[Jenna]

Correct. And he's told us that he regressed it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Hindsight. It's 20 20, but that was dumb.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And so I assume he has absolutely no other money that you know of. It's not like he's got a million dollars in the bank from something else.

[Jenna]

No, I think he has some. I don't know because I haven't looked at his finances. And so I was like, hey, if we give you this $400 a month, like, let's sit down, look at your finances, see where. Where money is going because you don't have a car. 73.

[Dave Ramsey]

And how is his health?

[Jenna]

Great. He looks like he's 55.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Chris Hogan]

And he's retired, not working. Jenna.

[Jenna]

Correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. You don't have an obligation at all. Morally, ethically, spiritually, anything. But if someone had given me a half a million dollar gift and in return they're asking for $200 because 400. 200 of its yours. 200 of it's your brother's. I would. I wouldn't think anything about giving them $200.

[Jenna]

So you wouldn't do it?

[Dave Ramsey]

I would do it.

[Jenna]

Oh, okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't think it'd be a problem at all. I mean, he gave you a half a million dollars. He stupidly gave you a half a million dollars that he shouldn't have done. Then he wouldn't be having this trouble.

[Jenna]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

So I don't know what was going on in there in your life.

[Chris Hogan]

Well, I'm curious, Jenna. Why 400 for him? To your point, Wanting just to look. I'm just curious if $400, you know, does that change.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, what, like probably living on Social Security, Living in the shed out back. That's what it sounds like, right?

[Jenna]

Yeah. I'm not sure. That's why I was like, I didn't know if I was in the right to ask him, like to.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I mean, you could not. Not to ask him to justify you doing this, but just to make sure he's okay. He might need 800.

[Jenna]

I'm just worried. My biggest worry is that he is giving it. Is going to give it to my little brother because my little brother just is. Doesn't do anything.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so that's a fair. That's new information that you never brought up until now.

[Jenna]

Sorry.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's okay. But now, I mean. So I think you can address that with your dad. Dad, I want to make sure you're okay. I'm happy to do this, but I'm not happy to give my little brother money because he sits on his butt. And if you're going to give it to him. No, I'm not going to do it. And if you let me look at your stuff with you and make sure you're okay, I want to make sure you're okay. You gave us this wonderful gift all these years ago, so. And little brother got cut out of that gift, by the way, didn't he?

[Jenna]

On paper, yes. But my dad is now coming back and saying that, hey, you need to split the house three ways. No, no, I was like, he wasn't respons or financially responsible at the time of the sale, so that's why he wasn't included.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, no, we're not redoing the deal. I've been. I've been dealing with this house and now I'm dealing with you. No, the deal's done. But again, you see how haphazard this whole thing was when y' all did this deal? It shouldn't have happened. It was a bad deal for your dad and he didn't think it through well. And now he's trying to come back and slide the brother in. And now he's trying to come back and slide 400 bucks out because he should have never done this in the first place. He didn't have the half a million dollars to give away. He was too broke to be giving away half million dollar gifts. And so now, yeah, I would be concerned that he's okay because his judgment's bad. We've established that. I want to make sure he's okay. I want loving acting. Yeah. I'm happy to do this to help you, dad.

[Chris Hogan]

Yeah. Make sure.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I'm not going to put the little brother on the deed, period. That's done.

[Chris Hogan]

And the money's not going to the little brother. But if all is said and he says, no, it's not. This is for me to.

[Dave Ramsey]

This, then I will take care of him.

[Jenna]

Ye.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, he gave you a half million dollars. You give him $200. Zippy, it doesn't matter. I mean, yeah, I would do that. Definitely do that. But the. The. The. But step back two notches, and y' all, as a family, learn your lessons from all the ridiculous things that have been done wrong in this whole thing. So. And now I'm really worried about you and your older brother being partners in this thing. And now little brother decides he's going to go into orbit about this. Yeah, this is. This is. This is not clear. It's not good. So bad deal all the way around. Bad deal, man. So.

[Chris Hogan]

But, Jenna, I don't think you're being a brat for asking these questions. You asked that at the beginning, and I think you're having some, like, critical thinking.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. You've got some concerns that are valid.

[Chris Hogan]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I would look into those concerns, but I want to do it through the lens of what? Love. I love my dad, and he was generous to me, and I want to make sure he's okay, not of, oh, I'm not going to give him 200 bucks. That is bratty if you don't do that. But. But, you know, if. If he's going to give it to the little brother and the little brother's buying weed with it. No, we're not doing that. I'm. I'm with you on that. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.