Become A Surrogate Mother To Pay Off Debt?

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Become A Surrogate Mother To Pay Off Debt?"

The Ramsey Show Highlights | July 25, 2026
Host(s): Dave Ramsey, Jaden Ramsey
Special Segment: Caller (Surrogate Mom)

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Episode Overview

This quick-hit episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights plunges into a unique and sensitive scenario: a listener asks whether becoming a surrogate mother is a valid strategy to pay off $66,000 in consumer debt faster. Dave Ramsey and Jaden Ramsey dig into the financial, emotional, and ethical implications, offering nuanced guidance rooted in the principles of intentionality, gazelle intensity, and family well-being.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Surrogacy as a Side Hustle to Accelerate Debt Payoff

• Caller’s Situation:

  • 29-year-old mother of three
  • $66,000 in consumer debt
  • Combined household income of $11,000/month (husband works two jobs, she works from home)
  • Husband working 80 hours/week, feeling burnt out

• Plan:
  Caller considers becoming a surrogate, inspired by her sister and her relatively easy pregnancies, with the goal of relieving her husband and expediting their baby steps toward debt freedom.

2. Immediate Reactions & Clarifications

• Dave’s Candid Take:

  "That's about the biggest sacrifice you could make is renting out your body." (00:12, Dave Ramsey)

• Jaden seeks clarity on motivations:

  "Are you saying that you don't want to carry the baby so you can keep working and stuff, or are you saying, I'll carry someone else's baby to make money?" (00:21, Jaden Ramsey)

• Caller Confirms:
  "I would carry someone else's baby to make the income." (00:37)

3. Context and Motivation

• Jaden explores the ethical and emotional complexity:

  "You got younger kids in the house. You're going to have to explain this to them...there's going to be attachment for you and for your kids." (02:52)

• On the Ministry vs. Money Motivation:
  Jaden distinguishes between two motivations—helping others vs. financial desperation:

  "If you had said...‘I'm thinking about the Ministry of Surrogacy because I really have a heart for moms who can't carry their children’...Now we're having a conversation." (03:48)

4. Assessing the Family Situation

• Caller admits:

  • Motivation is "50/50" between the desire to help and the hope of bringing her husband home more.
  • Cites concern for husband’s exhaustion and missing out on children’s lives.

  "I feel like he's missing our kids' childhood." (05:02, Caller)

• Jaden synthesizes:

  "I think your bigger driver is getting your husband the rest he needs...more than the Ministry of surrogacy." (05:02)

5. Exploring Practical Alternatives

• Dave suggests a balanced, less drastic approach:

  "I'm just wondering if...it takes you guys two years to pay off the debt instead of 18 months, but you can survive it and avoid surrogacy as a side hustle. Does that sound like a good plan?" (06:24, Dave Ramsey)

  • Caller agrees this is reasonable.

• Encouragement to modulate intensity:
  Jaden shares from personal experience:

  "There are times where you're really accelerating and there are times where it's like, bro, I'm tired. I got to just pull off the gas a little bit and that's okay." (07:04, Jaden Ramsey)

  • Reiterates the value of intentional progress over extreme sacrifices.

6. Final Recommendations

• Both hosts lean against surrogacy solely for debt:

  • Dave and Jaden do not endorse surrogacy as a mere financial strategy, due to the physical, emotional, and family impacts, unless the decision is rooted in a genuine calling ("Ministry").

  "I'm hesitant to people when they're putting their bodies on the line...when they could potentially be putting their health on the line...for that reason, I think I'm going to say, I don't think you should do that unless it's a ministry." (07:51, Jaden Ramsey)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the sacrifice involved:

  "That's about the biggest sacrifice you could make is renting out your body." (00:12, Dave Ramsey)

• On children and emotional impact:

  "You're going to have to explain this to them...there's going to be attachment for you and there's going to be attachment for your kids." (02:52, Jaden Ramsey)

• On pace and intentionality during debt payoff:

  "It's okay to pull off the gas a little bit. You're still going towards the goal...as long as you're still going intensely towards the goal and everything that you're doing is done with intentionality." (07:04, Jaden Ramsey)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:06: Caller introduces her question about surrogacy for debt payoff
• 00:40 – 01:26: Hosts clarify the caller’s motivation, background, and debt details
• 02:19 – 03:44: Hosts discuss emotional and family implications of surrogacy
• 04:34 – 05:22: Caller weighs her motivations; hosts help her clarify her primary driver
• 06:07 – 07:03: Alternatives to surrogacy are explored; balance and moderation emphasized
• 07:04 – End: Jaden couches “gazelle intensity” in broader life context, urging self-care and intentionality

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Conclusion

Dave and Jaden ultimately steer the caller away from surrogacy as a strict financial tactic, urging her to consider the emotional and relational costs, and reminding listeners that achieving debt freedom doesn’t require extreme sacrifices that could potentially harm family or well-being. They underscore that intensifying and moderating one’s debt payoff journey is normal—as long as the plan remains intentional and family-focused.

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Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

What are your thoughts on using surrogacy as a way to speed up the baby steps?

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. I mean, we talk about gazelle intensity and sacrifice. That's about the biggest sacrifice you could make is renting out your body.

[Jaden Ramsey]

Wait a minute.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hold on.

[Jaden Ramsey]

Let me, Let me make sure I understand. Are you saying, because there's two ways you can hear this. Are you saying that you don't want to carry the baby so you can keep working and stuff, or are you saying, I'll carry someone else's baby to make money?

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

I would carry someone else's baby to make the income.

[Jaden Ramsey]

Got you.

[Dave Ramsey]

Where'd you get this idea? Is this something that's been on your mind for a while or was it like a friend told you about it?

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

Well, my sister does it, but it's also my husband's working day and night right now, 80 hours a week trying to pay off our debt. So as a thought to try to get him home, back with us with our kids sooner that, you know, pregnancy was kind of easier for me, that it could be something that I could potentially do.

[Dave Ramsey]

I can't think of any world where pregnancy is easier than anything.

[Jaden Ramsey]

Listen, some women, some women, they really enjoy it and they, their bodies don't seem to mind it.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't know, just pop them out. Have you had a baby before?

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

Yes, I've had three.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, okay.

[Jaden Ramsey]

How old are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Old hat for you.

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

Yeah, yeah, 29.

[Jaden Ramsey]

29. And, and how much debt are we talking about? I need to see how, how desperate we're getting because this is getting to some desperate measures.

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

We're 66,000 in consumer debt. Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And what's the household income currently?

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

So with his second job and then I work full time from home watching with the kids, we're at 11,000. So it's a three.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you have a great income. I mean, we could knock this debt out pretty fast. We're talking less than 18 months.

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

So the question is, do you want to spend nine of those pregnant hoping? I mean, that's like this is all. Things go perfectly to get rid of the debt a little bit faster. Because 18 months, that's square in the average it takes for people to get out of consumer debt. Following our plan, 18 to 24 months.

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

Yeah, well, in our thought. My thought is to all. It would also help us find baby step three.

[Jaden Ramsey]

Let me, let me, let me get away from the numbers for a minute. Were you planning on having any more of Your own children.

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

No, we're done.

[Jaden Ramsey]

Okay. Are there. What, what, what would you. I said I was going to get away from the numbers, but what would you earn for doing this? Just we can understand.

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

Yeah. Starting cost is about, Starting Pay is about 65,000 for a first time surrogate.

[Jaden Ramsey]

65,000. Okay, here's. I'm going just tell you some of the things that are floating around in my mind. You've had way more time to noodle this around. I heard it for 90 seconds. So first thing I'm thinking is, you got younger kids in the house. You're going to have to explain this to them. And there's going to be attachment. Whether you want it or not, there's going to be attachment for you and there's going to be attachment for your kids because they knew that they grew in mama's belly and then they're seeing somebody else grow in mama's belly. I'm wondering how that's going to feel for them. So there's an impact here that goes beyond you and your body. And I just want to make sure that we're thinking well through that because there's nothing dire in your situation that I think that we're to that level. Your matter of fact, your numbers are very similar to the folk. The person that called in earlier.

[Dave Ramsey]

They had 6, you know, made 11,000, made 65 in consumer debt.

[Jaden Ramsey]

And so, and I wasn't like, you know what you should do surrogacy. So I, I don't want you to feel that you're in a desperate situation, that you need to do something desperate. That's thing one. Now thing two is if you had said to me, and maybe this is true and we just didn't start here, if you had said to me, you know what Jaden and George, I'm thinking about the Ministry of Surrogacy because I really have a heart for moms who can't carry their children. And that's something that's really important to me and I think I can help because I actually love being pregnant then. Now we're having a conversation. So I think those are the, those are the two biggest things that I think we need to talk through beyond the numbers first.

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

Okay.

[Jaden Ramsey]

So where do you fall?

[Dave Ramsey]

And you can be totally honest with us. You can't hurt our.

[Jaden Ramsey]

Yeah, we're not judging you, we're just, we're chopping it up.

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

Yeah, no, I think it's about, I mean 5050. I mean the idea of being able to help a mom. But at the same time I see how hard my husband works and him not sleeping, only in between shifts because he's working 80 hours a week and just sleeping anytime he has the chance to. That he's. I feel like he's missing our kids childhood.

[Jaden Ramsey]

Okay, so let's stop there. That, that's your driver. I think your bigger driver is getting your husband the rest he needs and you feeling some level of guilt or whatever for what he's having to go through. I actually, it sounds like I could be wrong. It sounds like that's a bigger driver than what I'm going to call the Ministry of surrogacy. Is that fair?

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

And yeah, I would say that's fair.

[Jaden Ramsey]

Okay, so let's solve that problem. Let's, let's solve for husband first and then let's see if all dials point to surrogacy. I have a feeling that they're not. But let's, let's look at other things that, that dad can do and getting some relief for him.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much is he working with that second job? How many hours a week?

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

40 hours a week. With his main job and his second

[Dave Ramsey]

job, could he dial the second one down or is it required to be full time?

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

It's. I don't think it's required to be full time, but he's trying, he want, he's at the same level I am of trying to pay off debt. We're dialed into the Ramsey method and just trying to pay off debt. So he's doing the 40? The full 40.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, where is, where does he stand on this? Is he like, hey, I'm happy to keep this going. I'm doing fine, you know, physically I can handle this. Or is he like, hey, I got maybe three more months of this for. I'm burnt out.

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

I would say it's about 50, 50 depends on the night if you ask him.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm just wondering if we dial it back. Let's say it takes you guys two years to pay off the debt instead of 18 months, but you can survive it and avoid surrogacy as a side hustle. Does that sound like a good plan?

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

Yeah, that sounds fair and I love that.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's if you have no increase in income with your core full time jobs. Because I'm just looking at a mom who's watching three kids working a full time job now at a pregnancy on top of that. It's going to be stressful for someone. And so I'm like, can we kind of, can you both carry some of the load maybe you work a little bit when he's home, he works a little bit, but not 40 hours a week. And then we have a middle ground here.

[Caller (Surrogate Mom)]

Yes.

[Jaden Ramsey]

And I want to say something and I think I can. You know, we, we love Gazelle Intensity. We love people to go fast and we love people to do whatever it takes. But also, in a debt payoff journey, mine was seven and a half, not a little, you know, a decent bit longer than yours. There are, what I'm going to say is there's times where you're really accelerating and there's times where it's like, bro, I'm tired. I got to just pull off the gas a little bit and that's okay. It's okay to pull off the gas a little bit. You're still going towards the goal. That could look like I've been driving Uber and I hate it. I'm just going to stop driving Uber as a side hustle for a while and I'm going to give myself a month or two breather and then I'm going to pick up a different side hustle. Right. There are ways that the debt free journal journey can morph over time, whether it's speeding up or slowing down. As long as you're still going intensely towards the goal and everything that you're doing is done with intentionality. I'm intentionally taking a 30 day break. I'm intentionally now coming back and doing a different side hustle. That's totally fine. What I don't want you to do is I, I'm hesitant to people when they're putting their bodies on the line, when they could potentially be putting their health on the line because pregnancy, there's so many factors that can take place and you have a family of your own. And for that reason, I think I'm going to say, I don't think you should do that unless it's a ministry.

[Dave Ramsey]

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