Buy A Family Compound With My Ex, His Girlfriend, And Kids?

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights
Episode: Buy A Family Compound With My Ex, His Girlfriend, And Kids?
Date: December 30, 2025
Hosts: Dave Ramsey, Rachel Cruze, Ken Coleman

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Episode Overview

This episode tackles a unique and complicated money question: Should a blended family—a woman, her ex-husband, his girlfriend, and their combined children—purchase a family compound together? The caller shares her family's unusual but close-knit dynamic and asks for advice on co-owning property, especially as their adult children face challenges affording their own homes. The Ramsey personalities dive into the financial, legal, and relational risks, and debunk myths about housing affordability for young adults.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller’s Situation: Blended Family Compound

• Caller (Rachel Cruze reading): A woman describes her family situation—she’s close with her ex-husband, his girlfriend, and their children (ages 21 and 23).
  • The group does weekly brunches and even has a running joke about “misery trips.”
  • Her children are gainfully employed, out of debt, but still can’t afford to buy homes individually.
  • The family is considering buying a large piece of land and building separate homes, contemplating legal structures like trusts and shared ownership, and addressing what happens if someone wants out.
• Memorable Quote:
  • "We give white trash new meaning, without a doubt. Every Saturday we go to brunch together... My point here is neither one of my children... can't buy houses. So we're thinking of a family compound." (Rachel Cruze as the caller, 00:35)
  • "Can it be done without, I don't know, shotgunning each other?... I will agree with you, two guns to a purse is absolutely correct." (00:54)

2. Immediate Reactions from the Hosts

• Ken Coleman:
  • “I will say this sounds like a great idea for a reality show.” (01:55)
• Rachel Cruze (on their family dynamic):
  • "We could put Kardashians out of business. No doubt in my mind." (01:59)
• Dave Ramsey:
  • Comments on how fun their family sounds, but quickly becomes serious about the risks.

3. Dave Ramsey’s Caution: Risks of Shared Family Property

• Key Points:
  • Ramsey strongly discourages joint family property purchases.
  • “All of the variables would have to work perfectly for everyone to come out intact. And as we all know, all the variables never work out perfectly.” (02:32)
  • Risks include family disagreements, difficulty selling, potential resentment when life stages or preferences change.
  • Notable Quote:
    • "You could get stuck. This weird relationship you've got could go sideways again... Communal vote like it's communism or something. No, this just—no." (02:52)

4. Alternative Solutions Suggested

• Adjacent Living:
  • Ramsey suggests the family could all live on the same street or a larger parcel subdivided from the start, where each owns a discrete, marketable property.
  • Each member should have autonomy to buy, sell, or leave without requiring group consent.
  • Notable Quote:
    • "Our kids... live within a mile of each other and... Sharon and I. But everybody has owns their own thing and everybody's allowed to buy or sell." (04:30)
  • Emphasizes avoiding scenarios where someone is cast as "the one that broke it all up."

5. The “Why Can’t Kids Buy Houses?” Debate

• Ramsey’s Perspective:
  • Ramsey challenges the assumption that young adults can’t buy homes.
  • Points out that delayed home ownership often stems from being “victimized” by debt: car loans, student loans, consumer lag.
  • Notable Quote:
    • “People buy a house in their 20s, first time, that's not an end of work.” (02:23)
  • Ramsey criticizes the cycle of debt and cultural narratives pushed by financial institutions and media.
  • Passionate Rant:
    • "Citibank runs washed up actors on there saying, what's in your wallet? Bradley Cooper does not really live in a lobby, boys and girls... I'm not going to get screwed by you people anymore." (05:34)
  • Encourages listeners (especially Gen Z and Millennials) to avoid the debt traps and budget wisely using tools like EveryDollar.

6. Ken Coleman’s Final Advice

• On Family Dynamics:
  • Advises appreciating the fact that everyone gets along so well—don’t push your luck.
  • Notable Quote:
    • "I think the weekly brunch where you guys are all happy in this crazy scenario is a win... That's a miracle in and of itself." (05:06)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “We give white trash new meaning, without a doubt. Every Saturday we go to brunch together...”
  – Rachel Cruze (as the caller), 00:35

• “Can it be done without, I don't know, shotgunning each other?... I will agree with you, two guns to a purse is absolutely correct.”
  – Rachel Cruze (as the caller), 00:54

• “I will say this sounds like a great idea for a reality show.”
  – Ken Coleman, 01:55

• “All of the variables would have to work perfectly for everyone to come out intact... There's just so many negative things that can happen from this that outweigh the few positives that I wouldn't do it.”
  – Dave Ramsey, 02:32

• “Our kids live within a mile of each other and... everybody has owns their own thing and everybody's allowed to buy or sell... but we don't get to say, no, you can't do that.”
  – Dave Ramsey, 04:30

• "I think the weekly brunch where you guys are all happy in this crazy scenario is a win ... So enjoy the weekly brunch. Don't try to make this whole living thing this controlled community. It just feels weird and someone's going to be let down."
  – Ken Coleman, 05:06

• "I'm not going to get screwed by you people anymore. I'm not going to take it anymore. I'm not going to do business with people who piss on me all the time. I quit."
  – Dave Ramsey, 05:34

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Important Timestamps

• 00:35 – Caller explains their blended family and “misery trip” tradition
• 01:55 – Hosts joke about a reality show based on their dynamic
• 02:32 – Dave Ramsey outlines the risks of a shared property/compound
• 04:30 – Alternative suggestion: proximity living but separate ownership
• 05:06 – Ken Coleman urges celebrating existing family harmony
• 05:34 – Ramsey’s passionate take on why young adults struggle buying homes

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Tone & Takeaway

The episode is lively, candid, and filled with humor—balancing empathy for the caller’s quirky family situation with trademark Ramsey realism. While applauding the family’s closeness, the hosts caution sharply against legal and relational entanglements from shared real estate. Ultimately, they encourage independence, clear boundaries, and the confidence that with financial discipline, young adults can achieve home ownership on their own, all while poking fun at pop culture and the financial industry’s pitfalls.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Rachel Cruze]

Are you in a good mood? That's the first question. Because I need you to sit back and think. I want you to count to three before you answer my question.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. Okay. I can't wait to hear what this is.

[Ken Coleman]

I will say as his co host. I just spoke with him for about five minutes. I think he's in a fabulous mood. I don't know if that helps you appreciate that. Well, no, I had nothing to do with it. Don't give me any credit.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow, this is interesting.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. All right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Need a weather forecast for. Bring the question do.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Dark and stormy.

[Rachel Cruze]

I have an ex husband. I have two children. My ex has a girlfriend and a son. And we are all great friends. We give white trash new meaning, without a doubt. Every Saturday we go to brunch together. And then we have a misery and we do something together that's miserable. That's why we call it the misery trip. But my point here is neither one of my children, who are 23 and 21, financially sound, out of school, in good careers, no debt, bank in their coin like you read about, can't buy houses. So we're thinking of a family compound. We're thinking of, do we put it in a trust? Do we have each person have a quarter say in it? What happens when one of them wants to leave this compound? Do we have to have a vote so that they can go out, but they have to have equity to go with them so they can buy their own house? Not that I think anybody would ever leave the compound, but just to throw it out there as a possibility. So we want to do it the right way, but we all want to have our own little independent houses on this land. Can it be done without, I don't know, shotgunning each other? And you should know, in our family dynamics, we have very expensive purses and very expensive guns. And I will agree with you, two guns to a purse is absolutely correct.

[Ken Coleman]

I will say this sounds like a great idea for a reality show.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, yeah. We could put Kardashians out of business. No doubt in my mind.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. Well, y' all are a lot of fun.

[Rachel Cruze]

So my. My problem is both kids want to do houses, but they can't afford it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yes, they can.

[Rachel Cruze]

Singly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yes, they can.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, they can in five years.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, so what? They'll still be in their 20s. People buy a house in their 20s, first time, that's not an end of work.

[Rachel Cruze]

All right, all right, Fair enough. We were. We were all talking about if we did it and we kind of put a trust together because I'm on the hill coming down. I don't want anything in my name.

[Dave Ramsey]

I think there's more downside than upside here. This is one of those things that all of the variables would have to work perfectly for everyone to come out intact. And as we all know, all the variables never work out perfectly. So there's just so many negative things that can happen from this that outweigh the few positives that I wouldn't do it. Okay, you could get stuck. This weird relationship you've got could go sideways again. You know, it could be. You know, the kid could get stuck in there and. And. Or marries a girl who doesn't want anything to do with this compound, and then he's stuck. And then we have to have a communal vote, like it's communism or something. No, this just. No, I'm.

[Rachel Cruze]

You're against it? Just maybe all buy houses on the same block.

[Dave Ramsey]

That'd be fine. Or if you bought a piece of property and everyone had a. Had their own parcel that was marketable and everybody's not pissed if they sell it later, you know, then, oh, that's an option then.

[Rachel Cruze]

So just get a larger piece of land where it can be parceled out to each of us.

[Dave Ramsey]

But again, again, as long as everybody's cool. When I sell my house and move.

[Rachel Cruze]

At that point, I don't. Well, the right. The older ones were, like I said, I'm on the hill down. So I was looking not to put anything in my name necessarily.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I'm not that. That doesn't matter. Just whoever has a piece of property, they have their own life and they have boundaries and they have legal rights and they have relational rights to at some, at some point, someday sell this house. Because about the only thing I'm sure of is there are no forever homes except heaven. And so at some point, your son is a grandfather and he wants to move away where his kids are in Phoenix. And somebody's going to be pissed if the whole thing is based on. Well, you're the one that broke it all up. I don't need that thing. I just don't need any of that. So our kids, our three kids live within a mile of each other and within 25 minutes of Sharon and I. But everybody has owns their own thing and everybody's allowed to buy or sell. And we talk about it sometimes as just, you know, family relations. Cheering One of. One of ours bought it, sold a home and moved up considerably the other day and we were cheering them on and we have a discussion about it, but we don't get to say, no, you can't do that, or we're mad at you.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, that, that freaked me out just listening to that. And I would say this, you got to know when you've got a win and take the win and be okay with the win. And I think the weekly brunch where you guys are all happy in this crazy scenario is a win. I think you should leave it there. That's a miracle in and of itself. So enjoy the weekly brunch. Don't try to make this whole living thing this controlled community. It just feels weird and someone's going to be let down.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, good question. Good question. And you know, it's kind of a theme I've been on for the last two weeks, Ken. And I'll circle back on it too, because one of the driving motivations was a 23 year old can't buy a house. Okay, our 26 year old can't buy a house in Orlando, Florida. Well, A, they can, but B, they can't have been first victimized by the large banks, the car companies and the student loan machine. And so if you're 26 and you have a $1200 car payment because you got screwed by Lexus Motor Credit believing you were building up your FICO score and then you ran up a bunch of visa debt because you're building up points that matter not to anyone, anything. And then you went and got a degree for $180,000 from a university that somehow supposed to make you successful in a degree field like left handed puppetry or German pol of history. And then you can't figure out why you can't get a good job and you're $180,000 in debt and then you know, and you just keep going where these big banks, these car companies, the FICO program, the student loan program has trapped the Gen Z's and the millennials. Now the millennials and the Gen Zs signed up for it. I went broke in my 20s because I was such an idiot. I signed up with these types of people and they took my head off. But when people start Talking about a 23 year old, 26 year old, it's not affordable now. It's because they first and foremost have been screwed and they're trapped in all these other debt payments and that makes them think they can't buy a house. No, they got to get out of that mess. That's right. And quit playing footsie. With these big banks because let me tell you, Citibank runs washed up actors on there saying, what's in your wallet? Bradley Cooper does not really live in a lobby, boys and girls. I'm just saying, you know, and at some point y' all gotta go, I'm not going to get screwed by you people anymore. I'm not going to take it anymore. I'm not going to do business with people who piss on me all the time. I quit. And when Gen Z and Millennials start doing that, they get out of debt. The affordability crisis in air quotes will really start to go away. Create your free everydollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.