"Dave, Our Friends Dared Us To Call You"

Summary

Summary of "Dave, Our Friends Dared Us To Call You"

Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Host/Author: Ramsey Network
Release Date: June 26, 2025

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Introduction: A Heartfelt Call

In the episode titled "Dave, Our Friends Dared Us To Call You," a caller reaches out to seek financial and emotional guidance during a tumultuous period in her life. The caller shares a deeply personal journey marked by multiple miscarriages over three years, culminating in the birth of a beautiful baby girl. This emotional backdrop sets the stage for a discussion that intertwines personal grief with financial responsibility.

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Friends' Vacation Invitation: A Test of Financial Stability

The caller describes an annual beach vacation tradition with a friend group of about 40 people. Despite recent joyous news of their baby girl, the caller and her partner are financially strained, leading their friends to challenge them: "Our friends dared us to call you. They said that given the emotional gravity of the situation, that you would violate the rule of broke people don’t go on vacation" (00:32).

Dave Ramsey’s Immediate Response

Dave Ramsey responds firmly: “Absolutely I won’t. Not a chance” (01:04), reinforcing his long-standing principle that financial discipline should take precedence over social obligations or emotional impulses.

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Financial Breakdown: Understanding the Debt

The caller provides a detailed overview of her financial situation:

• Consumer Debt: $40,000 spread across three credit cards (one business, two personal).
• Commercial Real Estate Portfolio: $600,000 in equity with $200,000 in mortgage debt.
• Household Income: $89,000 annually.

Despite the substantial equity in real estate, the high consumer debt overshadows their financial stability. This juxtaposition leads to the central conflict: balancing the desire to join friends on vacation against the imperative to eliminate debt.

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Ramsey’s Advice: Prioritizing Debt Over Vacations

Dave Ramsey emphasizes the importance of prioritizing debt repayment over discretionary spending. He challenges the caller’s logic by highlighting a discrepancy in their financial commitments:

“How much debt do you have?”
“$40,000.” (02:24)
“And what is your household income?”
“$89,000 a year.” (02:31)

Ramsey points out that despite having a significant real estate portfolio, the ongoing consumer debt is a critical factor that prevents financial freedom. He underscores that without eliminating debt, participating in luxury activities like vacations remains unattainable.

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Personal Insights: John Deloney’s Experience

John Deloney, a guest on the show, shares his own experiences with similar emotional and financial struggles:

“My wife and I went through miscarriage 1, 2, and then 3, and then ended up with the light of my life, Josephine. And I'll tell you, the emotions are heavy and the grief is real, and math doesn't care” (01:11).

Deloney reinforces Ramsey's message by acknowledging the profound emotional challenges but reiterating that financial realities must be confronted head-on. His testimony serves as a relatable anchor for listeners facing similar dilemmas.

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The Importance of Financial Discipline

Dave Ramsey delves deeper into the necessity of financial discipline:

“You make plenty of money. And you didn't tell me how much you've paid off already, which means you haven't. That's what that means” (04:06).

He stresses that regardless of income or assets, without disciplined spending and debt management, financial stability remains elusive. Ramsey advises the caller to focus on eliminating debt before considering any form of vacation, highlighting that "math doesn't take a break" (06:00).

Choosing Hard: The Philosophy of Financial Choices

Ramsey introduces the concept of "Choose your hard," encouraging individuals to make conscious decisions about what financial hardships they are willing to endure. By prioritizing debt repayment, they opt for short-term sacrifices to achieve long-term financial freedom.

“Thousands, if you Live like no one else, You can Arizona your butt off later and dance on the beach all you want, man, you know, later, you know, but you're going to have to get the cart before the horse” (04:06).

This metaphor emphasizes the importance of foundational financial stability before indulging in leisure activities.

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Emphasizing Principles Over Peer Pressure

Ramsey and Deloney collectively highlight the influence of peer pressure and external expectations on financial decisions. Ramsey states:

“Her mom and friends from a beach dance 15 years ago, they just don't get a vote in your future, man” (04:06).

They advocate for living by personal financial principles rather than succumbing to societal or peer-driven financial norms. This principle-based approach is crucial for achieving genuine financial health and personal satisfaction.

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Collective Wisdom: Lessons from The Ramsey Network

The episode concludes with Ramsey and his team reiterating core financial principles they've upheld for decades:

“What we did was we lived like no one else so that later we could live and give like no one else” (06:00).

They share anecdotes of sacrifices made, such as driving older cars and avoiding unnecessary expenses, to build a foundation of financial security. This collective wisdom serves as both inspiration and a practical guide for listeners aiming to navigate their financial challenges.

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Conclusion: Empowering Financial Freedom

"Dave, Our Friends Dared Us To Call You" masterfully blends personal struggle with pragmatic financial advice. Through empathetic dialogue and unwavering guidance, Dave Ramsey and John Deloney empower listeners to prioritize debt repayment, resist external pressures, and adhere to disciplined financial practices. The episode reinforces the timeless message that true financial freedom is attainable through conscious, principle-driven decisions.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dave Ramsey: “Absolutely I won't. Not a chance.” (01:04)
• John Deloney: “The emotions are heavy and the grief is real, and math doesn't care.” (01:11)
• Dave Ramsey: “You deserve to be a grown up and make your decision.” (05:55)
• Dave Ramsey: “Choose your hard. As Dr. John Deloney says, you need to choose which hard you want.” (06:00)
• Dave Ramsey: “If you Live like no one else, You can Arizona your butt off later and dance on the beach all you want.” (04:06)

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This episode serves as a poignant reminder of the delicate balance between emotional well-being and financial responsibility. For those navigating similar paths, "Dave, Our Friends Dared Us To Call You" offers both solace and actionable strategies to reclaim financial stability amidst life's unpredictable challenges.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by Y Refi. Refinance your defaulted private student loans [e-mail].

[Caller]

Ramsey so four years ago, we were on our annual beach vacation, and we found out that we were pregnant. And we celebrated and danced the night away. Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. And then we had two more miscarriages. That was three years ago. And now we have a beautiful baby girl.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yay.

[Caller]

Yeah. Yeah. But now our friends, our friend group from that vacation, there's about 40 people, they want us to bring our baby back to that beach. When we brought our baby home, I quickly realized that we were broke. And broke people don't go on vacation. Our friends dared us to call you. They said that given the emotional gravity of the situation, that you would violate the rule of broke people. Don't go on vacation.

[Dave Ramsey]

Absolutely I won't. Not a chance.

[Caller]

I knew you would say that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Not a chance.

[John Deloney]

And, hey, listen, I. I've. I. My wife and I went through miscarriage 1, 2, and then 3, and then ended up with the light of my life, Josephine. And I'll tell you, the emotions are heavy and the. The grief is real, and math doesn't care.

[Caller]

Yeah. Now, does it make a difference that they're paying for it, but that going on that vacation would still take us away from earning? It would take us away, and it would violate the like.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, something's wrong. I either have a glitch in my computer screen or you do in your brain. Because my computer screen says, should we do it if we can pay for it in cash?

[John Deloney]

You're telling me that they're going to pay for it? Covering.

[Dave Ramsey]

Which is it, what you told my phone screener or what you're telling us?

[Caller]

Yeah. So they're going to pay for the lodging they're going to pay for. And we have the fruit of the poisonous credit card tree that we can use for the flight. The point. But, you know, incidentals add up, and we. We have the cash to pay for that, but we also have.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much debt do you have?

[Caller]

Consumer debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much debt do you have?

[Caller]

$40,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

And what is your household income?

[Caller]

$89,000 a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And you've been married five years and you're 27?

[Caller]

Yeah, we've been together for, like, 15 years.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old are you?

[Caller]

We. We're 40.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, my gosh. I missed it. Okay. All right.

[Caller]

We do have, like, a small commercial real estate portfolio, and that commercial real estate Portfolio has about $600,000 in equity, and we have a few tenants, so our friends think we're rich. Our. Our friends think we're rich, but we know that we're broke.

[Dave Ramsey]

You have how much debt.

[Caller]

Between the two commercial properties? We have a $200,000 mortgage.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's the only debt you have?

[Caller]

Yeah, we have 40 in consumer debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, that's right. And what's the $40,000 in consumer debt?

[Caller]

It's like a rust bucket truck that we need to get rid of. And it's three credit cards. One for our business and two personal credit cards.

[Dave Ramsey]

They're all personal.

[Caller]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Dave Ramsey]

They don't give a business like yours credit cards. They're personal. You sign for them. You personally guaranteed them they're personal.

[Caller]

Yeah, you're right. Yeah. And that it's not just them that want us to bring the baby to the Pacific Northwest, but also her mom wants us to bring the baby to Arizona. So there's this.

[John Deloney]

I know, but listen, listen, listen.

[Dave Ramsey]

At some point you've got to decide what you're going to do.

[John Deloney]

You got to take control of your life, stop letting other people drive it.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't. You know her mom and friends from a beach dance 15 years ago, they just don't get a vote in your future, man. I mean, I'm sorry, you gotta decide what you're gonna do if as for me and my house, we're getting out of debt and we're not gonna rationalize it and justify it with a bunch of stinking airline points. And then you go down there, before you know it, you dropped a grand in cash and you instead of getting out of debt, See, the reason you've still got this debt hanging around while you're sitting on this ridiculously large portfolio is because you unconcentrated on it. And this example is one more time that y' all didn't concentrate on it. So you make plenty of money. And you didn't tell me how much you've paid off already, which means you haven't. That's what that means. And so no, you do what you want to do. You're 40 years old. I think you can make a decision. But if I'm a dad of a baby and I'm sitting here, I'm broke and I'm trying to get out of debt, I'm going to do the right thing for my family. The rest of these people don't get a vote. And so the right thing for your family is to get your freakin act together. And that includes not rationalizing Arizona trip or beach dance trip. And so if you Live like no one else. You can Arizona your butt off later and dance on the beach all you want, man, you know, later, you know, but you're going to have to get. At some point, you're going to have to get the cart before the horse. Yeah, I mean, horse before the car.

[John Deloney]

I just been this exact situation, man, and it's devastating and it doesn't give you. I think that. I think that's. We took a call in an earlier hour about this because this bad thing happened. That means we should be able to do what we want, to kind of cosmically make up for it. And that's how people dig themselves into deeper and deeper and deeper holes. And so, brother, I have been in your exact shoes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I deserve. What you deserve to do is you deserve to be a grown up and make your decision.

[John Deloney]

That's it, man.

[Dave Ramsey]

And based on that, take the consequences. But what I'm observing in this phone call is a lack of focus and other people have way too much vote in your life. That's what I'm observing. So deserve. What do you want to deserve? It's up to you. Choose your hard. As Dr. John Deloney says, you need to choose which hard you want. If you continue to screw around with this stuff and just bounce around all over the place and rationalize it, then you're going to get what you signed up for. And math doesn't take a break. It doesn't take a break. So you do what you want. Your friends lose the argument, though. Dave said don't go.

[John Deloney]

And so did his sidekick.

[Dave Ramsey]

There's that.

[John Deloney]

The guy in the side motorcycle cart.

[Dave Ramsey]

So here's the thing, guys. What we're teaching and what we've talked about is for 30 years and what Sharon and I did and what John and Sheila did and Jade and Sam and George and Whitney and Rachel and Winston. What we did was we lived like no one else so that later we could live and give like no one else. People didn't understand that we wouldn't go out to eat. They didn't understand that we wouldn't go on vacation. They didn't understand that we made good money and drove a piece of crap car. But we weren't taking a poll. We were living on principles, not on Instagram videos to make everybody think your life's better than it is while your life sucks. We were burning it down, baby. It was beans and rice. Rice and beans. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but it yields a harvest of righteousness. You pay a price to win. And if you don't you pay the price of mediocrity? So when you're in baby step two, you know, I was on CBS Morning show, and I'm coaching this couple. I made this woman cry because she wanted to go on a timeshare vacation while they're sitting on $65,000 worth of student loan debt. And I'm like, no, sell the stupid timeshare and get three extra jobs and get your stuff. And she starts crying on the tv. And so Dave's a butthole. But you know what Dave wants is Dave wants you to be free so you can have your best possible life. Because I love you. But I love you so much. I'm gonna tell you the truth. This is the Ramsey Show. Why refi refinances delinquent private student loans for struggling borrowers. Learn more at Y r e f y.com Ramsey.