"Does This Sound As Crazy To You As It Does Me?"

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "Does This Sound As Crazy To You As It Does Me?"

Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Host(s): Dave Ramsey & Chris Hogan
Air Date: October 27, 2025
Duration: ~10 minutes

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Dave Ramsey and Chris Hogan take a call from a 24-year-old listener who, with his wife, is in the process of building a "forever home"—with substantial financial involvement from his parents. The discussion centers on the complexities of borrowing from family, generational wealth, and the financial (and relational) wisdom of keeping money matters separate between family members. The hosts tackle questions about whether the caller and his wife should use their savings for the home or spend it on travel and lifestyle, and the deeper implications of debt between parents and children.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Caller’s Situation & Question ([00:06]–[01:28])

• The caller and his wife, both 24, are building a home. Project costs escalated, so his parents stepped in financially.
• Financials:
  • Household income: ~$130,000/year (pre-tax).
  • Savings: $120,000.
  • Parents: Provided a lump sum for the home, balance to be “repaid” in mortgage payments directly to them.
• Question: Should he use a large portion of their savings to pay back his parents now, or keep it for travel and fun before kids?

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Dave and Chris's Immediate Reactions ([00:57]–[02:35])

• Dave Ramsey: Expresses surprise at parents’ involvement given the couple's significant savings. Questions the rationale behind building such an expensive house and borrowing from parents.
  • Memorable quote:
    • “Why the flip did your parents have to give you money?” — Dave Ramsey [00:57]
    • “Do I borrow money from my parents when I'm newly married to travel? ...Does it sound as crazy to you as it does to me?” — Dave Ramsey [02:09]
• Dave and Chris clarify that the real risk is allowing financial entanglements to damage strong family relationships.

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The Dangers of Mixing Family and Money ([02:35]–[04:00])

• Chris Hogan: Warns the caller that lending and borrowing within a family, even with the best intentions, can quickly cause tension and lasting damage.

  • Notable quote:
    • “The surest way to blow it up is to have money in between you.” — Chris Hogan [02:39]
    • “Clear the money between your relationships so that it can stay as good as it is right now.” — Chris Hogan [02:46]

• Dave Ramsey: Points out that even parents who follow Ramsey’s advice sometimes break the cardinal rule against lending to kids.

  • “...that part where they went through Financial Peace University, they flunked the class. Because we tell you not to do that. Ever. Don't ever loan your children money. Oh, my God.” — Dave Ramsey [03:20]

• Both hosts press on how this arrangement can burden the marriage, especially the relationship between daughter-in-law and parents.

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Details of the Arrangement ([04:00]–[04:17])

• Caller: Breaks down the numbers:

  • Owes parents $200,000–$250,000 (to be paid back like a mortgage).
  • Received about $200,000–$250,000 as a “gift” from parents.

• Realization:

  • The couple is building a $450,000 home at age 24 while earning $130,000/year.

• Chris Hogan: Expresses shock at the scale of the home.

  • “Dang, Gina... It’s a lot of house, dude. That’s a lot of house.” [04:17–04:19]

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The Hosts’ Financial Advice ([04:22]–[05:02])

• Dave Ramsey’s Recommendation:

  • Use the $130,000 savings to reduce owed amount to parents.
  • Critical advice: Don’t take a “family mortgage;” instead, secure a traditional commercial mortgage from a lender.
    • “...Take the 130,000. But I'm even going to go a step further. I'm going to put the 130,000 with your mom and dad to limit the size of the mortgage. And then I'm going to go get a commercial mortgage. Not from your parents.” — Dave Ramsey [04:22]

• Chris Hogan: Emphasizes showing maturity by “taking the reins” and refusing a parental mortgage. He paints a scenario: paying the parents a lump sum and taking the (small) remainder to a bank is what would make a parent proud.

  • “I would be so proud.... It would show a level of wisdom and maturity.” — Chris Hogan [05:02]

• Both hosts warn of the inevitable family drama that can arise from such debts.

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On Prioritizing Vacation vs. Financial Security ([05:02]–[06:11])

• Chris Hogan: Suggests that deferring travel and using savings toward the house will pay off quickly, given their income.
  • “...Just go do that, man. You'll have that paid off in no time with as much money as y' all make if you don't go on trips.” — Chris Hogan [06:04]
• Dave Ramsey: Points out that vacations are more enjoyable when not burdened by financial baggage.

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The Bigger Picture: Wisdom for Parents ([06:21]–End)

• Dave Ramsey: Gives a mini-lesson for parents who have achieved financial peace:
  • Rule: If you want to help your children, give a gift. Never loan money.
  • Reason: Lending changes the parent/child relationship in unintentional but very real ways.
    • “Never make your child—your grown child—your slave. You change your relationship with your daughter-in-law, your son-in-law. ... Even a nice master is a master.” — Dave Ramsey [06:49]
• Encouragement for changing family trees through generosity but not through debt.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Do I borrow money from my parents when I'm newly married to travel? ...Does it sound as crazy to you as it does to me?” — Dave Ramsey [02:09]
• “The surest way to blow it up is to have money in between you.” — Chris Hogan [02:39]
• “Don’t ever loan your children money... The borrower is slave to the lender. Now you have to eat Thanksgiving dinner with your master.” — Dave Ramsey [03:20, 03:32]
• “Dang, Gina... It’s a lot of house, dude. That’s a lot of house.” — Chris Hogan [04:17]
• “If you want to give your children some money and they pay cash for a house ... great. Never make your child your grown child, your slave.” — Dave Ramsey [06:49]

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Timeline of Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:06–01:28 | Caller explains situation and question | | 01:28–03:06 | Hosts probe into the arrangement and express concerns | | 03:06–04:00 | Discuss potential for relational fallout and specifics of borrowing | | 04:00–04:22 | Break down of financials; hosts react to house value | | 04:22–05:02 | Dave and Chris advise using savings and avoiding parental mortgage | | 05:02–06:11 | Emphasis on growing up, maturity, and waiting on travel | | 06:21–End | Advice for parents: gift, don’t loan; maintaining healthy family relationships|

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Tone & Takeaways

The tone is candid, direct, and occasionally humorous, blending tough love with practical wisdom. The hosts emphasize protecting family relationships by avoiding financial entanglements and encourage financial maturity over short-term luxuries.

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Summary:
If you’re building your financial future, prioritize using your own resources and keep money out of family relationships. Borrowing large sums from parents—even with good intentions—can strain the dynamic, create awkward power imbalances, and threaten the very relationships you cherish. The mature move is to use your savings, minimize your debt, and keep your parents in the role of family, not banker.

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Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Caller]

So me and my wife were 24, fresh out of college a few years ago. So we decided to build a home, our forever home. And the cost kind of got out of control. Our parents stepped in. My parents stepped in. Me and my wife been blessed to have our parents by our side. They actually followed your financial piece back in 2000. There's a different story behind that, but they're very. They've accumulated some wealth over the years. They've handed us over a lump sum of money to help us build this house, and whatever's left over, we will pay back in a mortgage payment to them. Me and my wife make about 130,000 a year before taxes with a commission bonus for myself at the end of the year. So my question is, and we do have a good amount of savings from the past years of working. About $120,000 in savings.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm sorry, you have $120,000 in savings. Why the flip did your parents have to give you money?

[Caller]

They have been working so hard their whole life to set their kids up, and so they want to help every single one of their kids out. I'm one of three brothers.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, but you made it sound like you got in trouble and they bailed you out.

[Caller]

Oh, no, no, no, sir. No, no, no.

[Dave Ramsey]

So what happened with the house you got? You bought too much house. What's the deal with the house?

[Caller]

Yeah, so we're building.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, you're still building?

[Caller]

Yeah, we're still building. We're in the foundation phase right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, you just started building?

[Caller]

Yes. So the deal was with them was we can collaborate with them, they can help out. I mean, we have a really good relationship with our parents. I work for them, actually, and they wanted this. What they wanted to do for us, and so we kindly accepted it. And any cost after their initial lump sum that they handed over, we would pay back to them in a mortgage. And so I guess my question is, me and my wife are still young. We're 24. We're not thinking my kids right now. Do we give up a lot of that savings that we have straight back to them at the beginning, or do we have some of that, keep most of it and travel and have fun in our early 20s?

[Dave Ramsey]

So do I borrow money from my parents when I'm newly married to travel? That's, in essence, where this lands when I say it that way. Does it sound as crazy to you as it does to me? Yeah, a little bit, yeah. No, you, you, you, you like did grown up stuff and went and bought a house at 24 years old, pay for your stinking house and then start talking about traveling.

[Chris Hogan]

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

[Caller]

Very good.

[Chris Hogan]

The surest way, the surest way to blow it up is to have money in between you.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Chris Hogan]

And I know that's a weird, hard thing to say at 24. Especially when you got two people who are like, no, it's no big deal. It's no big deal. Just take it from two older guys. Clear the money between your relationships so that it can stay as good as it is right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

I think I heard a two stage deal here. Like they gave you a gift of a certain amount and that even wasn't enough and so then they loaned you more. Is that right?

[Caller]

Yes, they loaned us the full amount of whatever it costs for the house. We're paying for it in cash to build. So they're not taking loan out from any. They've been completely debt free since 2008.

[Dave Ramsey]

I know, but you now owe them.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

A mortgage payment. Okay, so that part where they went through Financial Peace University, they flunked the class. Because we tell you not to do that. Ever. Don't ever loan your children money. Oh, my God.

[Chris Hogan]

Because it puts a wedge between the relationship.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. The borrower is slave to the lender. Now you have to eat dinner. Hey, eat Thanksgiving dinner with your master. Yeah. That's gonna be painful for your wife. Not gonna bother you much. Cause it's your parents, but it's gonna be painful for your wife.

[Caller]

Understood.

[Dave Ramsey]

So how much money do you owe your parents that you have to pay the mortgage on?

[Caller]

Probably going to be around 200 to 250,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, and how much of a gift did they give you?

[Caller]

About 50% of the total cost to build, so about 200 to 250,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you're 24 years old, you make 130, and you got a $450,000 house.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Chris Hogan]

Dang, Gina.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Chris Hogan]

It's a lot of house, dude. That's a lot of house.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, well, for sure the answer to your question is no, you don't need to go on vacation. Yes, you need to do the. Take the 130,000. But I'm even going to go a step further. I'm going to put the 130,000 with your mom and dad to limit the size of the mortgage. And then I'm going to go get a commercial mortgage. Not from your parents.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Because I don't want this Mortgage. I don't want you paying payments to your parents for any amount of money, for any amount of interest. I don't think you're going to do that, because I think you guys have worked out this detailed thing in all of your heads that this all works out to the point that you're ready to go to Europe instead of paying back.

[Chris Hogan]

Here's what I would say. I can see myself working really hard so that I can. I can bulldoze a path for my son and his new wife. I get that. But if my son was to hand me a check for 130 grand and say, dad, I've got this money saved up. This is the part of the mortgage. And then I want you to see here, I'm giving you the rest of it. I took out a commercial loan because I want to just stay your son. I don't want to stay one of your. Like, I don't. I don't want you to be my banker. I would be so proud. And in a way, you're kind of not showing him up, but you're kind of saying, I'm taking this by. I'm taking the reins here. It would show a level of wisdom and maturity. I'm trying to give him as much grace as I can, dad, because the arrangement he's put you in is madness. It just ends in somebody wanting you to do something for Christmas and your wife doesn't want to, and it's like, well, after all, we've. It just. It's just a recipe for disaster. But, man, if you went and did what Dave just said, go get a commercial loan for the rest of it. And by the way, that's a tiny mortgage.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's 100. $120,000 mortgage.

[Chris Hogan]

It's a tiny, tiny, tiny mortgage. Just go do that, man. You'll have that paid off in no time with as much money as y'.

[Dave Ramsey]

All make if you don't go on trips.

[Chris Hogan]

Yeah. If you don't go to Europe. And by the way, you're. I don't know, David. Trips are more fun when I. When I'm older now. I don't know why. They just are.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, they're more fun because they don't follow you home. But in essence, that's what this ends up being.

[Chris Hogan]

So I don't have.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't increase the amount we borrow from mom and dad by the amount that we spend on the trips. And so it's black. Borrowing on the trip, borrowing from mom and dad to go on a trip. And obviously, that would be ludicrous. So, moms and dads, those of you that graduated from Financial Peace University with a better grade than that mom and dad got, which was an F, here's the rule, okay? If you want to give your children some money and they pay cash for a house, and part of the bargain is they never borrow money again because you want your family tree to be completely changed. Great. Never make your child your grown child, your slave. You change your relationship with your daughter in law, your son in law. You change the relationship in how you interact with each other. It's just you're adding layers to it that you are unintended, but they're very real. And no one is the exception. Even a nice master is a master. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.