He Has a Child on the Way and He’s Living with His Girlfriend’s Parents?

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Episode Title: He Has a Child on the Way and He’s Living with His Girlfriend’s Parents?
Date: November 9, 2025
Theme: This episode features a call-in from a woman seeking financial advice about purchasing a house while she and her boyfriend—who are expecting a child—are living with her parents. The hosts offer direct, practical, and occasionally tough-love guidance around finances, family planning, and relationship responsibility.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Assessing the Readiness to Buy a House

• The caller (B) and her boyfriend live with her parents, are expecting a baby, and are on a single income ($3,600/month from her boyfriend, who works as a construction apprentice).
• Host C quickly sets the expectation:

  “When you can afford it.” (00:20)
  “People who ask that question generally side in the area of they cannot.” (00:27)

• It becomes clear that with their current financial situation, they are far from ready to purchase a house.

2. The Importance of Marriage Before Homeownership

• The hosts underscore that buying a house as an unmarried couple is a “no-go” according to the Ramsey philosophy.
• Notable advice:

  “One of the things we don't do is we never recommend that an unmarried couple...if you're not married, you should not be buying a house together.” (01:34)

• The hosts question the couple’s commitment, pointing out how marriage should precede major joint financial decisions.

3. Relationship Dynamics & Responsibility

• Host C and A are frank about the maturity required for the situation, pointing out the boyfriend’s avoidance of marriage for optics is misplaced given their current circumstances.
• Memorable moment:

  “People that want to get married go down to the courthouse and get married and do a ceremony later. You guys are playing house in your mom and dad's house. That's not ideal.” (02:12)

• The hosts suggest that the caller take a more proactive stance and “force the issue” regarding marriage.

4. Differentiating Finances: No “We” Until Marriage

• The hosts stress that until they are legally married, their finances are entirely separate.

  “There is no we. You guys aren't married. There's your finances and then there's his finances. There's no we.” (04:08)

• This segues into clarifying the boyfriend’s debts, which include a substantial truck loan.

5. Critique of Poor Financial Choices

• The boyfriend has a truck with a $36,000 loan but an income just slightly above that annually.
• Hosts call this out as financially irresponsible, and indicative of “childlike behavior.”

  “You guys can't even afford to go rent, let alone buy a house.” (04:40)
  “Childlike behavior to say I want a truck instead of create some independence for my own family.” (04:48)
  “Your parents would do well to kick him out of the house. I'm serious. He's got to grow up.” (05:10)

6. Strategic Financial and Life Steps

• The hosts recommend a step-by-step approach for the couple:
  • Sell the truck:

    “If you want the true next steps...would be to sell the truck, get married, get an emergency fund, and then move out and rent and do that for a year, 2, 3, while saving up a down payment.” (06:01)

  • Get married: Immediately, to provide stability for the coming baby and a joint financial future.
  • Both need to work: Since the caller’s parents can help with childcare, the hosts recommend she works to bring in a second income.
  • Rent before buying: Save up before considering homeownership, only when financially able.

7. Next-Level Financial Advice: Truck Loan

• The hosts walk the caller through the process of selling the truck, covering what to do if the vehicle is “underwater,” and how to use savings to pay down any gap.
  • Actionable tip:

    “I would do some homework tonight and find out the Kelly blue book private party value to see what he could sell it for on his own.” (06:52)

8. Tough Love and Urgency

• The hosts are empathetic but blunt, emphasizing the need for the boyfriend to “grow up.”
  • “This young guy who's not a grownup is going to pull you into his mess. So forget the house...you called about the house.” (05:20)

9. Lighthearted Closing and Human Interest

• As the call closes, the hosts share a lighter moment about the baby (Maggie), ask about her last name, and jokingly offer to officiate a quick wedding.
  • “I'd get married before we head to the hospital.” (09:07)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On home buying readiness:

  “When you can afford it.” (00:20) — C

• On not buying as an unmarried couple:

  “If you're not married, you should not be buying a house together.” (01:34) — C

• On marriage and commitment:

  “You guys are playing house in your mom and dad's house. That's not ideal.” (02:12) — C

• On maturity and priorities:

  “Childlike behavior to say I want a truck instead of create some independence for my own family.” (04:48) — A

• On ‘we’ versus ‘I’ before marriage:

  “There is no we. You guys aren't married. There's your finances and then there's his finances.” (04:08) — C

• On steps to stability:

  “Sell the truck, get married, get an emergency fund, and then move out and rent...” (06:01) — A

• On the urgency of marriage:

  “I'd get married before we head to the hospital.” (09:07) — A

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:20 – 01:34: Assessing home buying readiness, boyfriend’s income and job potential
• 01:34 – 02:24: Ramsey Network’s stance on unmarried couples buying homes
• 02:24 – 02:57: Discussion about marriage commitment and “playing house”
• 03:39 – 04:08: Emphasis on marriage as a first step, separation of finances
• 04:35 – 05:10: Reveal of truck loan, critique of spending and financial immaturity
• 06:01 – 06:28: Step-by-step action plan: sell truck, get married, work, rent
• 06:52 – 07:16: Guidance for selling the truck and dealing with being underwater
• 07:20 – 08:17: Hosts press for action, discuss due date, and combining finances
• 08:17 – 08:47: Childcare logistics and working as parents
• 08:52 – 09:07: Baby’s name, last name discussion, encouragement to marry immediately
• 09:12 – 09:30: Lighthearted banter about officiating a wedding

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Summary in the Show’s Tone

With a direct and practical approach, the hosts of The Ramsey Show give the caller a reality check on the complexities of buying a house while unmarried, underemployed, and financially burdened, particularly when a child is on the way. They do not mince words about the need for maturity, commitment, and financial discipline—and weave in moments of humor and encouragement to drive home both urgency and hope for a better path forward.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

I guess what I'm wondering is, me and my boyfriend, we currently live with my parents and are expecting our first child. And we want to know when the correct time for us to buy a house is going to be.

[C]

When you can afford it.

[B]

And I guess I'm thinking, can we afford it?

[C]

Probably not. People who ask that question generally side in the area of they cannot. But tell us your financial situation. How much money, well, do you guys make right now?

[B]

He brings in. We're just on one income right now. He brings in 3,600amonth.

[C]

Okay, and what does he do for a living?

[B]

He basically works for a union, but he works in construction.

[C]

Okay, go ahead.

[A]

I'm just wondering, is there a growth path for him there or is this it? Like, he's the. He's at the top of the ladder?

[B]

No, he's not at the top of the ladder. He's basically just begun. He's in his second year apprenticeship, so he will be getting.

[C]

Oh, good.

[B]

He gets pay raises throughout.

[C]

And what's the. What's the ultimate destination? If he is apprenticing, where does he end up?

[B]

Eventually, I think he becomes a journeyman, and I think he would top out around somewhere around $40 an hour, but I haven't calculated that.

[C]

So why are you two living with your parents with a baby on the way? You're not married. Do we have a family plan here? What's the deal? Because one of the things we don't do is we never recommend that an unmarried couple. I was on the show with Dave yesterday, and he made it extremely clear, George, that Mary, if you're not married, you should not be buying a house together. So I want to make that clear. So what's the family plan here for you two?

[B]

Well, we want to get married, and that's in the plan.

[A]

How long you guys been together?

[B]

Two years.

[C]

Well, it doesn't seem like we really want to get married. People that want to get married go down to the courthouse and get married and do a ceremony later. You guys are playing house in your mom and dad's house. That's not ideal.

[B]

Yeah, I would be fine with going down to the courthouse, but I think it's kind of. He's worried about what his family will think.

[A]

I mean, what about the optics of living with your mom and dad with a baby on the way to someone he's not married to? I think the optics are out the window of this point of what his family thinks yeah, that's not a winning.

[C]

Scenario for him with his folks.

[B]

Yeah. And I feel like I tried to explain that to him, but he doesn't really like, understand, I guess.

[C]

Or I think it may be deeper than that. I hate to tell you, I know you didn't call for relationship advice, but if his excuse is I don't like the way it's going to look, George nailed that one to the wall. It looks way worse when you are shacking up with your girlfriend who's pregnant in her parents house. That doesn't say I've launched. So, yeah, we. I'm not going to take any more time up on this call, but I do think this is a serious relationship conversation. Where are we going? And he doesn't get to kick the can down the road anymore. You got to force this issue.

[B]

Yeah. So you think that first step before anything is just get married?

[C]

If we're talking about buying a house, yes.

[A]

We're bringing a human into this world that we're going to raise together.

[C]

I think that too.

[A]

What's the financial situation? You guys have any debt?

[B]

Well, yes, he does have debt. We. We have about. He's got a truck.

[C]

Well, see, here's the thing. Let me, let me jump in. There is no we. You guys aren't married. There's your finances and then there's his finances. There's no we. You guys aren't legally married, therefore you don't have shared finances.

[A]

So do you have any debt in your name? Have you co signed anything?

[C]

Great news.

[A]

Okay, so you didn't co sign on his truck?

[B]

No, no, I don't have any debt.

[A]

What is his truck? Payment.

[B]

With a warranty that he has on it. It's seven. Seven.

[A]

So you're telling me you. Okay, this is the frustrating part. You guys can't even afford to go rent, let alone buy a house.

[C]

Exactly. Because they're living in the basement.

[A]

Childlike behavior to say I want a truck instead of create some independence for my own family.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What other debt does he have? Just the truck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What does he owe on the truck? You know the balance.

[B]

Yeah, it's 36.

[A]

Goodness gracious.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Your parents would do well to kick him out of the house. I'm serious. He's got to grow up.

[A]

I mean, that's almost his yearly income tied up in a car that's going down in value.

[C]

Yeah. Guarantee he plays video games too. Guaranteed. He's got to grow up. He does. He does play video games. I knew it. This kid should not be playing video games. He doesn't have any time to. To play anything. He's got a child on the way and he's living with his girlfriend's parents. It's a grow up time. Somebody's got to have a hard conversation with him because I'm going to tell you, if you were my sister, I would be freaking out right now with you going, what in the world are you doing? This young guy who's not a grownup is going to pull you into his mess. So forget the house. I know you called about the house.

[A]

If you want the true next steps, if you can convince him and get on the same page, would be to sell the truck, get married, get an emergency fund, and then move out and rent and do that for a year, 2, 3, while saving up a down payment. And then maybe a few years from now we can get into a house that's a big maybe. That's if his income goes up drastically.

[C]

And he's got a good trade job. That's the good news.

[A]

He's got work ethic. He's going to work every day and showing up.

[B]

So would you guys suggest using, like should he use his savings to pay off the truck or.

[C]

How much does he have?

[B]

16,000.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

He doesn't have enough to pay it off, but he can cover the difference. He's underwater. I'm guessing the truck isn't worth 36.

[B]

I have no idea.

[A]

I would do some homework tonight and find out the Kelly blue book private party value to see what he could sell it for on his own. Not a trade in, but to sell it private. And if he can get 40 for it and the loan is 36, good, but it might be worth 32 and he owes 36. Well, now he needs to pony up four grand to get out of this deal and he still needs money on top of that to buy something reasonable used that can get him from A to B to the construction site.

[C]

Yeah. Do you, do you love this guy? You want him to marry you?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay, then you need to tell him this is what we're doing. And when are you due?

[B]

Actually in a few days.

[C]

Whoa. Oh, my goodness. All right, here's the deal. Once the baby's born, everything's healthy, hopefully. And all the things you guys need to get married. And. And well, I'm sorry. You need to get married. I'd get married today, but you need to get to work. You've got family that can watch the baby. And if you're a young couple, as George was saying, the only thing I was going to add to this, if you want to marry this guy, let's go get married. Get married today and then we start our life together. We're going to combine finances, which means he needs you working. You need to work and you got somebody to watch the baby. Is this forever? No, but it's for this season. To get you guys out of your parents house and living on your own, you need two incomes. You got child care?

[B]

Do you think I should pay for child care?

[C]

No, I think I. Well, I would ask my mom and if they would help watch the baby. You're living with them. They're okay with your boyfriend living with you.

[A]

I'd crunch the numbers on what it's going to cost if they're unwilling to watch for free or you need to pay them or you need to get childcare. See what you can make to make sure it makes sense because it might cost you your entire paycheck and then it's a moot point.

[C]

Yeah, and I'm not saying that. I'm just assuming probably on incorrectly. But I would at least have the conversation with my parents, you know.

[B]

Yeah, they, they are able to watch.

[C]

Well then, then we got to figure that part out. But you guys need to get married if you're, if you're going to be together.

[A]

You got a name for the baby yet? Oh, I'm curious.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, we do. It's Maggie.

[A]

Maggie.

[C]

Maggie.

[A]

I love that ignorant question. Whose last name does the baby take in this case?

[B]

His.

[C]

His.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. I think it's time to get me. I'd get married before we head to the hospital.

[C]

I would too.

[A]

Let's go down to the courthouse.

[C]

If George or I were ordained, we'd do it here on the air.

[A]

That'd be incredible.

[C]

I think the Ramsey show needs a ceremony.

[A]

I'd be the ring bearer, the flower.

[C]

Girl and you could do the music. Oh, love it.

[A]

Call us back. We'll make it.

[C]

I'd marry him and throw the rice.

[A]

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[C]

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