The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: Her Fiancé Still Has His Ex's Name On His Lease
Air Date: December 31, 2025

Overview

In this episode, a caller seeks advice from Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze about a unique and uncomfortable rental situation. As she and her fiancé prepare to get married and move in together, she discovers his ex’s name is still on the apartment lease—a lingering problem due to custody issues, a difficult ex, and an unresponsive property management company. The hosts offer practical and candid guidance on resolving the legal, financial, and emotional dimensions of the issue.

Main Discussion & Key Points

1. The Caller’s Dilemma (00:06–02:06)

• Scenario: The caller is a realtor and engaged to a man who lives in an apartment with his ex’s name still on the lease, despite court orders and multiple attempts to have her removed.
• Complications: The ex refuses to cooperate, there’s shared custody of a child, and the property manager is unresponsive.
• Options:
  1. Hope the management company voluntarily updates the lease (unlikely).
  2. Get the ex to sign paperwork (unsuccessful so far).
  3. Terminate the lease, lose the deposit, and start fresh—a financial hit in a high-cost market like San Francisco.
• Emotional Impact: The caller feels “gross” about starting her marriage this way and is seeking practical advice and validation for her discomfort.

2. Dave Ramsey Breaks Down the Legal and Practical Facts (01:37–03:05)

• Lease Status: It’s now month-to-month. They could simply give 30 days’ notice and move out (01:54).
• Legal Position:
  • The ex has liability on the lease but no rights to possession (02:06).
  • "Her name being on the lease is making her obligated for the payment on the lease. It doesn't give her any rights to possession..." — Dave Ramsey (02:04)
  • The property management can update the lease without needing the ex’s permission—this is an administrative, not legal, barrier.
• Call to Action: The fiancé should call the management company and present a clear choice: update the lease to include the new spouse or lose both tenants (03:05).
• Quote:
  • “I don't know why your fiancé's not handled this. This is really bizarre to me. This is on him, okay?...This is gross. And it should have been dealt with a long time ago for you.” — Dave Ramsey (03:36)

3. Emotional & Relational Undercurrents (03:36–06:20)

• Rachel Cruze questions: Why stay in this apartment at all, especially with the drama?
  • “What's the upside of continuing for him to live there and you to move in there? Why not just get a different place?” — Rachel Cruze (05:18)
• Caller responds: The San Francisco rental is exceptionally affordable, with rent “thousands of dollars less than anywhere else” due to a kind landlord (05:25).
• Dave’s Rebuttal:
  • "I don't care if it's thousands of dollars less or not. I don't want to live there unless her name is off this lease and yours is on it." — Dave Ramsey (05:53)
  • Emphasizes the need for emotional well-being over saving money.
  • Criticizes the fiancé for failing to establish boundaries with his ex: "Grow a backbone. You should have already done this eight months ago...Now fix this, buddy. That's my direction to him." — Dave Ramsey (06:00)

4. Root Issue: Boundaries, Power Plays, and Relationship Health (06:20–07:57)

• Dave’s Diagnosis: The core issue isn’t just the lease, but the ex’s ongoing attempts at “flexing” and the fiancé’s pattern of passivity in standing up to her.
  • "But he's also gets pushed around by her pretty regularly. And that's what's really bothering you at the core of this." — Dave Ramsey (06:20)
• Rachel Cruze adds: This pattern may continue even if the lease issue is resolved (06:32).
• Financial vs. Emotional Trade-Off:
  • “Don't sell your soul for a couple thousand bucks savings... Don’t sign up for lack of freedom and drama and call that a good deal. That’s not a good deal.” — Dave Ramsey (07:58)
• Key insight: Sometimes the peace and boundaries in a marriage are worth more than financial savings.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On legal rights:
  • “Her name being on the lease is making her obligated for the payment on the lease. It doesn't give her any rights to possession.” — Dave Ramsey (02:04)
• On setting boundaries:
  • “Grow a backbone...and fix this, buddy.” — Dave Ramsey (06:00)
• On the financial trade-off:
  • “Don’t sell your soul for a couple thousand bucks savings on something... Don't sign up for lack of freedom and drama and call that a good deal. That’s not a good deal.” — Dave Ramsey (07:58)
• On relationship dynamics:
  • “This chick has got issues and she's throwing anything she can around to try to take power plays, any kind of a flex that's possible.” — Dave Ramsey (04:53)

Key Takeaways

• Don’t Start a Marriage in a Tangled Situation: Begin married life with clear boundaries and a fresh slate, even if it costs a bit more.
• Legal Clarity: A co-tenant’s name on a lease is a liability, not a right to possession; property managers can and should update leases as situations change.
• Set Boundaries Early: Address unresolved ties to former partners, especially when children and custody are involved.
• Financial vs. Emotional Health: Saving money isn’t worth enduring unnecessary emotional stress and ongoing drama.

Important Timestamps

• Caller describes dilemma: 00:06–02:06
• Dave explains lease legalities: 02:04–02:55
• Dave’s blunt advice to fiancé: 03:36–04:21 & 06:00–06:20
• Rachel and Dave discuss emotional health vs. saving money: 05:18–07:58

The episode delivers tough but caring advice to prioritize emotional wellbeing and marital foundations over temporary savings, while offering a clear, actionable path to resolve the lease situation before walking down the aisle.