Her Parents Are Her Tenants And Never Pay On Time

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights: "Her Parents Are Her Tenants And Never Pay On Time"

Air Date: January 3, 2026
Host: Dave Ramsey with a Financial Expert/Co-host (largely George Kamel)
Caller: Unnamed woman
Podcast Length: ~9 minutes

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Episode Overview

This episode spotlights a caller's long-term struggle as a landlord to her parents, who have repeatedly failed to pay rent on time for over a decade. Despite attempts to help—including financial education and offers of alternative living arrangements—the caller’s parents refuse to improve their financial habits or communicate. Dave Ramsey and his co-host George Kamel provide firm yet compassionate advice on boundaries, self-care, and ending enabling behaviors while balancing respect, practicality, and family ties.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Caller’s Dilemma & Background

• Debt-Free But Drained: The caller and her husband are debt-free, but the rental property in question (owed at $60k) was meant for retirement or their children’s college and has turned into an unmanageable family issue.
• History of Nonpayment: The parents have been perpetually late with rent for 11 years—even after attending Financial Peace University and offered alternate solutions (living together, downgrading, building a mother-in-law unit).
• Failed Communication: Caller consistently reaches out about late payments; parents remain uncommunicative.

Dave’s Initial Response

• No Surprises Here:

  “You knew when you stuck them in there that they weren't instantaneously going to become financial geniuses. ... So you signed up for this trip, right?”
  (Dave Ramsey, 01:37)

• Options Moving Forward:
  • “Give Up” Approach: Pay off the $60k, let the parents live there, expect nothing, remove expectations to avoid disappointment or resentment.

    “If you quit expecting them to be something that they're not going to be, then you can just chill. Right. ... And that's not a bad plan.”
    (Dave Ramsey, 03:19)

  • “Be Aggressive” Approach: Sell the house and require the parents to move—frame as advice from her (Ramsey) financial advisor to "avoid being the bad guy."

    “You can call them and say, mom and dad, I talked to my financial advisor…he said to sell this house.”
    (Dave Ramsey, 04:13)

Practical Advice & Emotional Realities

• Liberate Yourself from Unending Stress:

  “But then you can't be running and rescuing them every time they stub their toe. You got to just let them go. I just love you. Some people need to be loved from further distance than others.”
  (Dave Ramsey, 05:34)

• End Enabling and Resentment:

  “If you stop the enabling, then it'll also stop the resentment that's been bubbling up in your life.”
  (Financial Expert/Co-host, 06:03)

• Moral Framing: Caller is not wrong or unkind for “cutting them loose” after 11 years of support.
• Simple, Clear Communication: Advises against emotional confrontation, explanations, or corrections—just a clear, practical message about selling the home.

Memorable Quotes & Commentary

• On Expectations:

  “The secret to happiness is low expectations.”
  (Dave Ramsey, 03:08)

• Refusing Accountability:

  “It's arrogant to be late. You're making a statement to the people that they don't matter.”
  (Dave Ramsey, 07:41)

• Consequences of Enabling:

  “It smells like a parasite. Yeah. It's just sad when your parents are qualified as that.”
  (Dave Ramsey & Co-host, 07:58)

• On the Dangers of Renting to Family:

  “Which is why I personally would not have signed up...and become their landlord. Because they remember when they changed your diaper.”
  (Financial Expert/Co-host, 08:04)

• On Letting Go:

  “You’re a good daughter either way, you gave it a run.”
  (Dave Ramsey, 08:25)

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Notable Timestamps

• 00:07 — Caller introduces the rental problem and history with her parents as tenants
• 01:37 — Dave’s assessment: “You signed up for this trip, right?”
• 03:19 — Dave outlines “give up and pay it off” option
• 04:13 — “Aggressive” strategy: sell the house and inform the parents
• 05:34 — Dave on loving from a distance: boundaries with family
• 06:03 — Co-host on stopping enabling and eliminating resentment
• 07:11 — Co-host offers to be the “bad guy” financial advisor
• 07:41 — Dave on the disrespect inherent in chronic lateness
• 08:25 — Dave affirms the caller’s efforts and closure

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Conclusion

This episode delivers a candid discussion about the challenge of mixing family and financial/business affairs, especially when chronic irresponsibility is involved. Dave and his co-host validate the caller’s frustration and urge her to either remove expectations (accept and budget for ongoing loss) or sell the home and require her parents to face the consequences of their choices, using the “financial advisor” as the scapegoat if necessary. Both routes are framed as morally acceptable; above all, the hosts stress the importance of boundaries, self-respect, and ending enabling behaviors—bringing hard-earned peace for the caller and her immediate family.

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Key Takeaway:
“As hard as it is, sometimes the best help is to stop enabling and let loved ones face the consequences of their own actions—while you protect your own peace and future.”

Transcript

[Caller]

My husband and I are completely debt free.

[Dave Ramsey]

Start budgeting for free today.

[Caller]

My question today is regarding our rental property. Okay, Dave. So my parents are the tenants and it's not going well. And it has not been going well for the past 11 years. I wanted to help them out so because they could no longer afford their home. So I wanted to be a good daughter and help out my parents. The issue is that they're not communicating with us. The rent is late each month. For example, Dave, I received November's rent last Friday, which was December 5th. No communication. I have diligently made sure each month I communicate with them for the past year about the rent. But nothing's changed. I've asked them to move in with us. The answer is no. I've asked them to think about moving into something cheaper. The answer is no. I've asked them do I need to set aside money to get a bigger home with the mother in law unit? The answer again is no. Dave. I sent them through Financial Peace University. Nothing has changed. I only owe $60,000 on my rental property in California. That's really, really good. This is supposed to be part of my retirement money towards my kids college fund. We sacrificed so much, Dave. This process and your principles helped help us so much. Things that I had no idea we would be able to accomplish, but we have. I'm just, I need help, Dave. I don't know what to do. Share your wisdom.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, you're not shocked that your parents have not paid this on time and I'm not shocked that they've not paid it on time. They've never paid anything in their lives on time. And you knew when you stuck them in there that they weren't instantaneously going to become financial geniuses. You had to know that this was going to happen. So you signed up for this trip, right?

[Caller]

Oh my goodness, yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. I'm sorry. It's so hard when it's family and especially your mom and dad and you're trying to do something nice for them. So you kind of got one of two options. One is give up. One, none of the options are going to be try to talk them into becoming financially responsible. That obviously doesn't work. So that's not, that's not one of the options we're going to try. That's been. That, that ship has sailed. We've been tried. We tried it. Okay, so either you give up and you pay the house off. It's only $60,000. Let's get over and get it paid off and just let them Live there, and then when they pay, and if they pay, be surprised and just surrender. That's giving up. Okay? If you want to do that, that's not a bad thing. But you're just saying, whatever that house is worth, I'm just pissing that money away in the name of taking care of my parents. And I'm just going to live with that. And I'm not going to fret about it because happiness comes. I always laugh when I'm playing golf. My golf motto is, the secret to happiness is low expectations.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

So if you quit expecting them to be something that they're not going to be, then you can just chill. Right. So you're just going to let them live there, and if they pay, we're going to act surprised. Okay. And that's not a bad plan. You could get the 60,000 paid off in a few years or a few months or whatever and not worry about it, couldn't you? The other option, if you want to be a little more, shall we say, aggressive. Holiday spending can spiral fast. But your phone bill doesn't have to. Boost Mobile helps you take control. Your first three months are just 10 bucks a month. Then it's a flat $25 for unlimited talk, text and data. No contracts, no surprises, just reliable service that keeps your budget in check. Visit Boost Mobile.com Ramsey and stretch your dollars further this season.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

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[Dave Ramsey]

The other option, if you want to be a little more, shall we say, aggressive. Okay, then I can help you with that one, too. You can call them and say, mom and dad, I talked to my financial advisor, I'm your financial advisor, and he said to sell this house. And so we're going to put the house on the market and sell it. So y' all are going to have to find a place to live, okay? And they just go figure out their life because they're like grownups and crap and they ought to been figuring out their life long time ago. Well, without being babysat by their own daughter. So. Hello. How old are these people?

[Caller]

My dad is what, 65? My mom is 64.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, so get a job and go pay your rent. Shut up. I mean, come on.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

So let's play the scenario. They had. They go rent somewhere and they have a landlord now. Do you think they're going to pay on time?

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, that's up to them. That's their problem all of a sudden. That's their problem.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

Yeah, I think they'd quickly figure it out, wouldn't they? They go, we're not.

[Dave Ramsey]

We're not giving an option of you have to pay on time or we're selling it. You. You just say, I talked to my financial advisor. He says we got to sell the house, so y' all gotta move. We're gonna put the house on the market February 1st, so y' all gotta be gone by then. So y' all look for a place. Cause we gotta get the house sold. Well, what about. Listen, you know, we. It worked for a while. You were here for 11 years, and now we can't do it anymore. And the financial advisor says I gotta sell it. So I gotta sell it. Because I'm telling you, you gotta sell it so you can blame me. Just say, my financial advisor. I'm the bad guy. Okay? And, you know, but that puts them back out and to deal with the reality of their misbehavior. And that's actually not a bad thing either. But. But then you can't be running and rescuing them every time they stub their toe. You got to just let them go. I just love you. Some people need to be loved from further distance than others. You need a little more distance between you and them.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

If you stop the enabling, then it'll also stop the resentment that's been bubbling up in your life.

[Dave Ramsey]

Say, gosh, you're over there, and I sure hope it works out for you. I love you, be cheering for you, and, you know, I'm not gonna worry about it after that. It's their problem. You've done all you can do and then 11 years too much, right?

[Caller]

Correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

So, I mean, it didn't. Like, you didn't try. You're a sweetheart. You tried everything. So if you want to cut them loose, you could do that. And you would not be doing something immoral or unethical or unbiblical or anything like that. Is. You gave. You gave 11 years worth of enabling a shot here, and it didn't work. So. Yeah, so either just give up and pay it off and let them live there and don't worry about it and just be shocked when they do pay. Don't bring it up again, don't communicate about it, don't even mention it ever again. Just if the check comes, the rent check shows up, just be, wow, I'm so shocked. I mean, just to have that attitude about it and then you'll be fine. Or. Or put the house on the market February 1st and tell him to go find a place to live and blame it on your financial advisor and I'll take that role.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

He can Take.

[Dave Ramsey]

Actually, it's George. George is your.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

You can blame me, I can handle that. He.

[Dave Ramsey]

His name is George. Your financial advisor's name, Last name.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

I love it. It reminds me of the old quote, if they wanted to, they would. If they wanted to pay on time, they would. If they wanted to become debt free, they would. And so you just can't change people.

[Dave Ramsey]

Guy used that on me in my 20s when I was late for everything. He says, you're late for everything. I said, well, I'm busy, I'm busy. If you want to be on time, you would. And you know what pissed me off.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

But he was right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I'm not late anymore.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

You're very punctual. That's actually shocking.

[Dave Ramsey]

Arrogant. It's arrogant to be late. You're making a statement to the people that they don't matter.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

That's the. At the root of this is a lack of respect. It's a lack of respect for their daughter and the kindness that she's offered them.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yep.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

To say, hey, we're not going to pay on time.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yep.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

Even that's what we agreed to. We're not people of integrity.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's smells like a parasite. Yeah. It's just sad when your parents are qualified as that.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

It muddies the waters. Which is why I personally would not have signed up. My mom and dad would not have signed up and become their landlord.

[Dave Ramsey]

Nope.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

Because they remember when they change your diaper. So it just makes it awkward when. Now you're demanding rent payment.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, yeah. It's. Sorry, mom and dad. We got sell the house.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

I mean, it's the easiest way. It's the nicest way to evict someone is just to get rid of the whole situation.

[Dave Ramsey]

Just start from scratch. You don't have to go into all why and you don't have to go into. You don't pay the rent on time. So you don't have to go into. We've begged you. We've tried. You don't have to try to be corrective with it. There's no point in that because it's not going to work. It's just clean. Just like, gosh, you know, sorry, y' all got to look for places. We're selling the house. So either that or just pay the thing off and quit worrying about it. Either one. Either one's okay. Either one's okay. You're a good daughter either way. You gave it a run, but it's.

[Financial Expert/Co-host]

Living in your head rent free. And currently they're basically living in your house rent free.

[Dave Ramsey]

There's a lot of free rent here. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.