"He's Been Lying About Finances For Years"

Summary

Podcast Summary: "He's Been Lying About Finances For Years"

The Ramsey Show Highlights – March 10, 2026
Hosts: Dave Ramsey, Rachel Cruze
Guest Caller: Sarah

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on Sarah, a caller who seeks urgent advice from Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze about her husband's repeated financial deception over the course of their marriage. The discussion explores financial infidelity, trust issues in relationships, the importance of transparency, and the deeper implications of money problems within a marriage. Dave and Rachel offer direct, empathetic guidance, emphasizing the need for honesty and accountability, and pointing toward counseling as a necessary step for healing and restoration.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller’s Situation: Patterns of Deceit

[00:06-01:54]

• Sarah describes ongoing financial dishonesty: Her husband lied for years about the whereabouts of a large sum from the sale of a house (around $70,000), claiming it was placed into a high-yield savings account. Later, it turns out the funds were spent, with no clear account of where the money went.
• Other incidents: Savings kept at home repeatedly go missing; when confronted, her husband offers inconsistent or trivial explanations (eating out, buying unnecessary items such as a guitar).

2. Potential Deeper Issues

[02:07-02:43]

• Dave Ramsey raises flags of deeper concerns:

  "I don’t know if there’s something more nefarious happening behind the scenes...there’s financial infidelity. Is there actual infidelity? Is there an addiction? Is there gambling? There’s so much we don’t know because he’s not being fully transparent." (Dave Ramsey, 02:07)

• Rachel Cruze adds:

  "Usually, if there is a level of deceit financially, not always, but more than half the time, there’s something else happening on the other side of that door." (Rachel Cruze, 02:31)

3. Trust and Relationship Impact

[02:46-04:27]

• Rachel calls out character issues:

  "My fear is his character is proving out to be that he lies. He’s a liar, he doesn’t keep his word. And if he’s lying about one area of life…there’s a good chance there’s other things going on." (Rachel Cruze, 02:46)

• The need for professional help: Both recommend marriage counseling, stressing that money issues are rarely only about money and are often symptomatic of deeper marital issues.

4. Spiritual and Emotional Aspects

[04:27-05:40]

• Sarah expresses reluctance toward divorce and appeals to her faith: She describes her husband’s positive traits and spiritual life.
• Rachel’s blunt response:

  "You’re not, Sarah. You’re not though. You’re not [being led by a godly man]. He took $70,000, Sarah, and lied about it...That’s not a man who leads you spiritually, Sarah. No, you can’t put a spiritual umbrella over this. This is wrong." (Rachel Cruze, 04:57)

• Supportive but firm tone: Rachel empathizes, yet stresses that spiritual appearance can’t cover up repeated, serious wrongs.

5. Steps Forward: Concrete Advice

[05:59-06:27]

• Dave emphasizes the necessity of trust:

  "It doesn’t matter if you can’t trust him. You understand? That’s the root of this whole thing...if you can’t trust him and he constantly lies to you, there is no relationship here." (Dave Ramsey, 05:59)

• Immediate action step: Sarah should make it clear she must be a joint owner on every single account; refusal is a dealbreaker.

6. Possible Explanations and the Need to Dig Deeper

[06:27-07:19]

• Rachel allows for the spectrum:

  "Yes, it could be that he’s just sloppy with money, irresponsible, immature...That’s the best case scenario." (Rachel Cruze, 06:44)

• Scripture references: Rachel remarks on how financial behavior reflects character, offering a spiritual lens for Sarah to consider.

7. The Hard Work of Facing Reality

[07:19-08:15]

• Rachel highlights the painful but necessary marital work:

  "It’s so much easier to be like, ‘it’s not a big deal. I’m going to just justify it...’ But if you guys want to do the work to dig deeper...you’ll have a much healthier, real, honest, authentic relationship." (Rachel Cruze, 07:19)

• Dave concludes with a call for serious reflection:

  "When someone shows you who they are, believe them. ...I am not safe in this relationship. That’s it. That’s the hard truth." (Dave Ramsey, 08:15)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "There’s so much we don’t know because he’s not being fully transparent. And that is the only solution. There's the only hope for this marriage is him coming totally clean. Because right now you can’t trust him."

  • Dave Ramsey, 02:17

• "If he’s lying about one area of life...there’s a good chance there’s other things going on."

  • Rachel Cruze, 02:46

• "That’s not a man who leads you spiritually, Sarah. No, you can’t put a spiritual umbrella over this. This is wrong."

  • Rachel Cruze, 04:57

• "It doesn’t matter if you can’t trust him...if you can’t trust him and he constantly lies to you, there is no relationship here."

  • Dave Ramsey, 05:59

• "When someone shows you who they are, believe them."

  • Dave Ramsey, 08:15

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:06 – Sarah shares her financial trust issues and reveals long-term deception.
• 01:17 – Sarah details unsuccessful attempts to get honest answers about missing money.
• 02:07 – Dave and Rachel discuss possible deeper issues: addiction, gambling, other secrets.
• 02:46 – Rachel frames the problem as a marriage/trust issue, not just a money issue.
• 04:27 – Rachel responds to Sarah’s faith-based concerns about divorce and spiritual leadership.
• 05:59 – Dave gives blunt advice on trust and joint financial oversight.
• 06:44 – Rachel offers possible (less severe) explanations but underscores accountability.
• 07:19 – The importance of tough conversations and facing marital issues.
• 08:15 – Dave's strong reminder: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them."

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Conclusion

This episode provides a candid and compassionate exploration of the painful reality of financial lies within a marriage. Dave and Rachel underscore that chronic deception undermines trust and intimacy, pushing for full transparency, joint financial management, and counseling as essential pathways forward. The central message is clear: lasting marital health requires honesty, accountability, and the courage to confront hard truths head-on.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Sarah]

I am struggling with my husband lying to me financially. I've been struggling with this for about two years, and I'm just wanting some advice on how to fix this.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, gosh, Sarah, what's he. You said he's lying about your money. What's an example of that? What does that mean?

[Sarah]

So I first found out about that he had been lying our whole marriage. A couple years ago, he had a large chunk of money from the sale of a house that he had put into work. He told me he put into a high yield savings account. And when we got to the point of talking about buying a house, it came out that he had been completely lying about it, that there. That he'd spent all the money. And I still don't know where he spent all that money. There are other times where we'll put money in the safe as, like a savings account, just, you know, in case of emergencies. And I went in there one day last March to get some money out to pay a bill, and the money was gone. And it's kind of things like this that are consistently happening.

[Rachel Cruze]

And what does he say when you confront him? Where does he say the money went?

[Sarah]

The $70,000? I'm not sure where it went even to this day. But for the other stuff, he says that it goes to if I'm out of town for work. He says that he went and spent it eating out, or he went and just bought some random stuff that we don't really need that he's not really going to use.

[Dave Ramsey]

Have you seen said stuff? Is there actual proof of the things he's saying he's purchasing? Yes.

[Sarah]

Like, I see the receipts from where he's gone out to eat, and, you know, he brought home a guitar and tried to play it for two weeks and then stopped playing it, and now it's just sitting in the closet.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, well, there's a few layers to this, and I don't know if there's something more nefarious happening behind the scenes. You know, there's financial infidelity. Is there actual infidelity? Is there an addiction? Is there gambling? There's so much we don't know because he's not being fully transparent. And that is the only solution. There's the only hope for this marriage is him coming totally clean. Because right now you can't trust him.

[Rachel Cruze]

Because usually, Sarah, if there is a level of deceit financially, not always, but more than half the time, there's something else happening. On the other side of that door.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I don't just blow 70 grand on some toys.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

And I don't know what that is, what that looks like. But my, my fear is his character is proving out to be that he lies. He's a liar, he doesn't keep his word. And if he's lying about one area of life again, I pray it's not the case. But there's a good chance there's other things going on. And so I would, for your, for your sake, of the, of the marriage, to keep the marriage at all intact, you guys need to sit down with a really, really good marriage therapist or counselor and start hashing out again. It's not just that, it's not just the money piece. This always goes deeper. This is always, it's usually never a money issue. It usually starts to show itself as a, as a marriage issue. And that's what this is. This is a man who has to make a decision on whether he's going to choose to rebuild trust with his wife, Sarah. And you guys will create a roadmap over a long process of that healing journey for you to be able to trust him again or if the patterns continue. I don't know how you stay married to someone that continues to lie to you, George.

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Rachel Cruze]

I don't know how you stay married to someone that continues to lie to you.

[Sarah]

And that's, that's the hard thing because in a lot of ways he's great. He helps out around the home. He is very encouraging. And spiritually, you know, I don't really believe in divorce. And so it's hard because our whole lives are intertwined. You know, we go to church together. Like I want to be led by a godly man.

[Rachel Cruze]

You're not, Sarah. You're not. You're not though. You're not. He took $70,000, Sarah, and lied about it. You guys have a, have a agreement that you're gonna put money over here and he chooses to be a selfish. A selfish child and go buy a freaking guitar. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, it is. It's pretty glaring. And I don't. I don't. I don't trust him. And so, no, that's not a man who leads you spiritually, Sarah. No, you can't put a spiritual umbrella over this. This is wrong. This is wrong.

[Sarah]

Okay?

[Rachel Cruze]

And I'm sorry, I don't mean to be harsh about it, but.

[Sarah]

No, that's probably something that I need to hear.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, I mean, it's just. And. And we're a third party that doesn't know you from Adam. So when you give us information that you've been used to holding, it's become normalized to you, but you say it to us and we're like, no. And again, I'm not saying he's a bad guy. I'm not saying he, like, has a double life or something, and he can

[Dave Ramsey]

be a good guy in a lot of other ways, but it doesn't matter if you can't trust him. You understand? That's the root of this whole thing. And I'm sure he's a hard worker and he goes to church. He can check all the boxes. But if you can't trust him and he constantly lies to you, there is no relationship here. And so starting today, I'd say, hey, I'm a joint owner on every single bank account, every account in our life. And if you say no to that, we can't move forward.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. And it's a spectrum here, Sarah. Again, we jump probably to the dramatics because we do the show for a living. So I feel like we hear some of the craziest stories. So, yes, it could be that he's just sloppy with money, he's irresponsible, he's immature about it and needs to grow up.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's a best case scenario.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's the best case scenario. You know what I mean? But he needs to understand the seriousness of this. Because if you want to talk scripture, I can throw a lot of money scriptures at you that actually depict what your heart and character are, is how a reflection of money and how you handle money. And so it's. Yeah, he needs. He needs to step up and be a man. And if he can't own this or understand the seriousness of what he has eroded in your marriage, trustwise, he brushes

[Dave Ramsey]

it off and goes, well, you know, I just. I bought some toys while you were out of town. My bad. That's not enough.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, and you too, Sarah. You know, on your end, you gotta decide if it's that serious to you. And it may not be. You may get off this call and be like, I can function in this for the rest of my life. And you may choose to, I don't know. Because it's the harder work to not sweep things under the rug and actually to pull the rug out and deal with the crap that's sitting right there. That's marriage work. Like, that's the hard work in marriage. It's so much easier to be like, it's not a big deal. I'm going to just justify it over here because he is a good guy and we're going to. And then that's the level of marriage you're going to have. But if you guys want to do the work to dig deeper, not only financially can you be healed, but I think you'll have a much healthier, real, honest, authentic relationship in your marriage as well. Which is probably the ultimate goal, you know?

[Sarah]

Absolutely.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

We're hoping for healing for you, but you've got some hard work ahead of

[Rachel Cruze]

you, and it's red flags.

[Dave Ramsey]

So here I have conversations, and how he reacts is going to be very telling.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I love the quote, when someone shows you who they are, believe them. And so the more he shows you that he can't be trusted, the more you have to realize he's just not a trustworthy person and I can't change him, and therefore I am not safe in this relationship. That's it. That's the hard truth. And I hope you guys have some good counseling and church family that can help support you through this. I hope there's healing and redemption on the other side.

[Rachel Cruze]

Get some healthy, spiritual Christian people around you. Healthy.

[Dave Ramsey]

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