How do I Budget With My Girlfriend After We Move In Together?

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights Episode: How do I Budget With My Girlfriend After We Move In Together? Release Date: June 23, 2025 Host: Ramsey Network

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Introduction

In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, Jake reaches out for financial advice regarding budgeting with his longtime girlfriend as they plan to move in together. The discussion focuses on merging finances, managing student loan debt, and balancing household contributions when one partner becomes the higher income earner.

Key Discussion Points

1. Combining Finances

Jake explains that he and his girlfriend plan to move in together and combine their financial resources. He mentions that while he currently earns around $90,000, his girlfriend is completing graduate school and is expected to earn between $130,000 to $150,000 upon graduation. Despite her higher future income, she also carries significant student loan debt, amounting to a couple of hundred thousand dollars.

Jake [02:19]: "She's going to come out earning a pretty good chunk, maybe close to 130 to 150. And I'm just looking for some help on how to budget that because she's going to be the higher income earner, but she'll also have a lot more student loans."

2. Household Budgeting Strategies

Dave Ramsey and co-host George Kamel discuss potential budgeting strategies. Initially, Dave suggests splitting household expenses 50/50, emphasizing that since they are roommates and not married, an equal split is straightforward.

Dave [02:20]: "It's simple. You guys are roommates. You're not married. We're going to split it down 50."

George raises a concern about the long-term financial implications, especially if the relationship were to end, potentially leaving Jake with the burden of helping pay off her substantial student debt.

George [04:12]: "She may be less excited about this plan of living... How intense is she about getting out of debt?"

3. Managing Student Loan Debt

Jake clarifies that he does not intend to pay off his girlfriend's student loans but seeks guidance on how much she should contribute to household expenses versus allocating funds towards her debt repayment.

Jake [05:05]: "She wants to contribute towards the household. So I guess a big question of what I'm asking is... should it be Maybe I do 60, she does 40, and we'll let her tackle more of that debt knowing that that's going to be the problem."

Dave reiterates the importance of maintaining clear financial boundaries to prevent resentment, especially since his girlfriend will be earning more in the future.

Dave [06:13]: "If not, you're going to have to have some real boundaries financially in order that it doesn't hurt you relationally."

4. Future Financial Planning and Marriage

The conversation touches upon their long-term plans, including marriage in about five years. Dave emphasizes that combining finances is more beneficial when there is a committed long-term relationship, such as marriage, to ensure mutual financial support and goal achievement.

Dave [07:24]: "It's 50. 50. It's what I said seven or eight minutes ago."

George suggests that if relationships are not formalized through marriage, financial contributions should reflect income differences to maintain fairness and prevent future conflicts.

George [06:40]: "She should be paying more of the bills? Should be based on income."

Jake expresses a desire to enjoy their time together without rushing into marriage, highlighting the balance between financial planning and personal relationship goals.

Jake [04:21]: "We're not in any rush right now. I want to enjoy time together while we're young."

Insights and Conclusions

• Equal vs. Proportional Contributions: While an equal split may seem straightforward, considering each partner's income and debt obligations can lead to a more balanced and fair financial arrangement.

• Debt Management: It's crucial to address how each partner's debt impacts household budgeting. Prioritizing debt repayment can alleviate long-term financial stress.

• Long-Term Commitment: Financial integration is smoother and more secure within a committed marital relationship, providing legal and emotional safeguards.

• Communication is Key: Open and honest discussions about financial goals, debt, and contributions are essential to prevent misunderstandings and resentment.

Notable Quotes

• George Kamel [05:21]: "You're going to be so much better off by combining your financial lives, working toward a goal together."

• Dave Ramsey [06:11]: "If not, you're going to have to have some real boundaries financially in order that it doesn't hurt you relationally."

• Jake [04:35]: "We know the vision we have. So we're not in a rush to get married. We just want to enjoy our time together."

Conclusion

The episode provides valuable insights into the complexities of merging finances with a significant other, especially when dealing with differing incomes and debt obligations. The hosts advocate for clear communication, equitable financial contributions, and considering long-term commitment to ensure a harmonious and financially stable relationship.

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Note: For more financial advice and tips, visit chministries.org as recommended by Dave Ramsey in the episode.

Transcript

[Dave]

Brought to you by chm, a biblically based alternative to health insurance. Learn [e-mail] budget I'm planning on moving.

[Jake]

In with my longtime girlfriend at the end of the year probably. Yeah.

[George]

And buy her dinner first.

[Jake]

Yeah, I've bought her plenty. So she's actually been in school for the past couple of years and will come out earning. She's graduate school. She's going to come out earning a pretty good chunk, maybe close to 130 to 150. And I'm just looking for some help on how to budget that because she's going to be the higher income earner, but you'll also have a lot more student loans. So just looking to see how you guys would recommend we balance that. That household budget.

[Dave]

Well, that sounds like you guys are combining finances.

[Jake]

That is the plan. Yep. Or at least in some way contribute to the household, the goals together.

[George]

Let's. Can we play out a worst case scenario? Because that's 99% of the calls we get on the show.

[Jake]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Dave]

But before we do that, George, I just want.

[George]

I was so excited.

[Dave]

Well, you're gonna get to do it. Okay, super quick question. What's your income? We know hers or what it's gonna be. What is yours?

[Jake]

So I'm making pretty good money. I'm making about 90 right now.

[Dave]

And she's gonna be in the 130 to 150 range, probably.

[Jake]

Yep.

[George]

How much debt do you have?

[Jake]

I have none. And I have a pretty good savings investment accounts built up. We're both really young, so I'm in a very good place. She just has the student loans as well.

[Dave]

All right, George Dash his dreams.

[George]

I'm not here. I'm just. I want to show you. Yeah, because I got worried when you were saying, hey, we're going to move in together. Are you guys going to buy a house?

[Jake]

No, we're going to rent an apartment together.

[George]

Okay. And then what about the payoff? Because my concern, and we've seen this happen, is you help girlfriend pay off her loans. A breakup happens and now you just have a sunk cost of helping this person pay off $50,000 worth of their debt with no financial relationship.

[Jake]

Yes. I'm not planning on paying off her loans, but I'm wondering how much she would expect. I guess that would be a conversation for her, but how much she should contribute to the household versus living off of one income. Having her use her income to pay off the debt, primarily.

[Dave]

Well, it's simple. It's Simple. You guys are roommates. You guys are roommates. You're not married.

[George]

So with roommates you'd go, all right.

[Dave]

We'Re going to Split it down 50.

[George]

50.

[Jake]

Okay.

[George]

And you know, she pays half the housing expenses and everything else she needs to be putting toward the debt. I don't know how gung ho she is about getting rid of the debt. So she may be less excited about this plan of living. Like she's broke after finishing her program and making this amazing income and then still living. Like, man, I'm still eating ramen over here. How intense is she about getting out of debt?

[Jake]

She is wanting to get rid of it asap.

[George]

Okay, and do you know the total amount?

[Jake]

It's a couple hundred thousand. Woo.

[George]

Hello. What was her program? What degree is this?

[Jake]

It's a medical degree.

[George]

Okay. Is this like a nurse practitioner type thing or is it on the administrative side?

[Jake]

Physician assistant. Very.

[George]

Okay.

[Dave]

Pa. All right, so what's her long term income possibility?

[Jake]

So probably at most, probably getting up to around 200,000. Yeah.

[Dave]

How long you guys been dating?

[Jake]

Been dating about three years.

[Dave]

And you've never lived together?

[Jake]

Well, she's been in school for the majority of that time and we've actually been doing long distance for about two years of it. But anytime she comes home, we are staying together. So we sort of have a history of living together for a few months at a time and goes really well. Of course we, we have those long term plans together. So we are.

[Dave]

How old are you, Jake?

[Jake]

Very young. 20? 25. 26 years old.

[Dave]

Okay. Are you thinking about marrying this girl?

[Jake]

Yeah, that's on the agenda for both of us.

[Dave]

Where is it on the agenda? Give me a date.

[Jake]

Just five years down the road. Engagement? Probably.

[Dave]

Why five years?

[George]

Hold on. Another five years?

[Jake]

Yeah, probably something like that.

[Dave]

Why?

[Jake]

At least, maybe at least three at a minimum. What's up with the minimum for financial advice, guys?

[George]

I'm just, well, I'm just curious. America is also wondering.

[Dave]

Take with the Heisman. He stiff armed us. Yeah. Hey look, you're right. You did call in for financial advice. But guess what's involved in finances.

[Jake]

True. Good point. Yeah, I mean we're just sort of feeling it out. We're not in any rush right now. I want to enjoy time together while we're young. And neither we. We know the vision we have. So we're not in a rush to get married. We just want to enjoy our time together.

[George]

Okay. I've done all I can do. Jake.

[Dave]

Jake gave us the boundary.

[George]

It's not A to me, Jake, this is not, it's not like a moral thing. I'm not here make judgment calls about your life. I'm just telling you that financially you're going to be so much better off by combining your financial lives, working toward a goal together, working toward a vision together. And right now it feels like we're just kind of looking to play house and have a good time and you can do all of that and be married. So if you're committing to live with someone, committing to help someone with their debt payoff journey, whether it's, you know, support or financial, I would just go, hey, we're going to pay this thing off a whole lot faster if we work together. We're going to build wealth a whole lot faster if we work together. And if, you know, she's the one. I don't know the reason for a five year delay.

[Dave]

Hey, hey, George, back off. He didn't call in for relationship advice.

[George]

One man's take no more than fine.

[Jake]

I mean, to get a yes, it's my.

[Dave]

I'm just having fun with you. It's Friday. I like to have a good time. Here's the deal. I hope she's on the same page as you because with the plan that you've given us, there's a good possibility she starts making really good money as a PA and you guys aren't combined finances. So you don't get a say and she starts to get a credit card here or car payment there. That's why I'm saying that's why we like the marriage play on this. If we know it's a foregone conclusion, it just makes a whole lot more sense. And if not, you're going to have to have some real boundaries financially in order that it doesn't hurt you relationally. Do you understand what I'm saying?

[Jake]

Yeah, that makes, that makes sense. Yeah.

[Dave]

So I would.

[George]

Because if I'm girlfriend, I'm going, hold on, I got a. I got hundreds of thousands student loans. You want me to pay half of you can cover all the bills just fine on your own. I want to focus on my debt payoff. Can you take on the brunt of the bills? Boom. Red flag resentment.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[George]

That's kind of how I see this playing out because that's how it happens in real life.

[Dave]

And she makes more money than you, pal. Or she's going to.

[George]

Should she be paying more of the bills? Should be based on income.

[Jake]

That's sort of what I'm getting at is because we are both on the same page financially. I'm a very financially conscious person. She knows my attention and dedication to just building a future for myself and ourselves there. So she wants this paid off. She wants to contribute towards the household. So I guess a big question of what I'm asking is with this future we're both envisioning for ourselves together, marriage aside, we'll table that for the time being. But how much do you think is it at this point? 50? 50 split? Or with those plans to marry down the road, should it be Maybe I do 60, she does 40, and we'll let her tackle more of that debt knowing that that's going to be the problem.

[Dave]

Oh, that's so goofy. Do you hear how goofy that sounds? It's 50. 50. It's what I said seven or eight minutes ago. I haven't changed my mind. Have you changed your mind?

[George]

No. Although I am. I'm just picturing you saying, hey, you make 40% more than me. I think you should pay 40% more of the bills, too.

[Dave]

I'd like a video of that. Could send it to me so I have something to watch when I get bored during the day. That's going to be fun.

[George]

That could go viral. Jake.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[George]

In that scenario. Yeah.

[Jake]

All right, fair enough. Well, thank you guys for the help.

[George]

Best of luck. Yeah, he's in Vegas. Just go down to one of those little. Elvis.

[Dave]

Seriously, you know, there's a wedding chapel on every corner. It's kind of like a church in the South. You. There's just wedding chapels everywhere.

[George]

God bless.

[Dave]

Get him a. Get her a ring, man. Yeah, we're going to put that off. We're going to talk about our future together. He said marriage aside, we're going to put that one. We're going to talk about our future.

[George]

We'll put one thing that actually legally means we're together. We'll put that aside. God bless. Jake.

[Dave]

Hey. Hey, guys. I didn't call for relationship advice. Back off. CHM isn't health insurance. It's a health cost sharing ministry. Check it out for [e-mail] budget.