How Do I Find A Girl That Isn’t Just After My Money

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights – "How Do I Find A Girl That Isn’t Just After My Money"

Release Date: December 12, 2024

Introduction

In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, the Ramsey Network addresses a pressing concern from a young entrepreneur seeking guidance on navigating romantic relationships without attracting partners solely interested in his financial success. Hosted by Dave Ramsey and featuring co-host Jade Warshaw, the discussion delves into the nuances of building genuine connections while maintaining personal and financial integrity.

Caller’s Profile and Concern

At 00:08, a caller introduces himself:

Caller: "I’m 25 years old. I own my own home. I built a construction company. I make about 130,000 a year. And I've got a real proclivity for building my income, building my business, building my personal wealth over time." (00:16)

Despite his impressive achievements at a young age, the caller expresses anxiety over attracting romantic partners who may be more interested in his financial status than in a meaningful relationship.

Clarifying the Concern

Jade Warshaw seeks clarification to better understand the caller's predicament:

Jade: "Are you talking about business partner or romantic partner?" (01:12)

The caller confirms he's referring to romantic relationships, highlighting his desire for companionship based on mutual respect and shared values rather than financial gain.

Assessing Financial Perceptions

Dave Ramsey probes further into the caller's financial standing to better assess his situation:

Dave Ramsey: "What's your net worth?" (01:24)

However, Ramsey expresses skepticism about the caller's ability to substantiate his financial claims:

Dave Ramsey: "You don't have that much, my friend. You just can't answer that question." (01:36)

This leads to a discussion about the importance of transparency and realism in evaluating one's financial status when seeking a partner.

Navigating Concerns About "Gold Diggers"

The conversation shifts to addressing the caller’s fear of encountering individuals who may exploit his financial success:

Dave Ramsey: "I wouldn't necessarily be hanging out in those areas either. So I'm trying to walk the fence there." (03:40)

Jade elaborates by emphasizing the importance of mutual evaluation:

Jade: "You have built a personal resume that people will learn about as they get to meet you, you will learn about their personal resume as you meet them and you get to decide who gets the position based off of their personal resume." (03:55)

Caller’s Experiences and Realizations

The caller shares specific instances where relationships appeared to pivot towards his financial provision rather than emotional connection:

Caller: "It happened a couple of months, about three months in. I noticed at first she was very big. On balance, as far as our personal time and psychological Investments... but as time goes on, it turns more into what kind of life you can provide for me and my future children." (04:17)

This revelation adds depth to his concerns, illustrating the tangible challenges he faces in discerning genuine interest from ulterior motives.

Hosts’ Guidance and Insights

Dave Ramsey offers pragmatic advice, encouraging the caller to employ discernment without fostering undue suspicion:

Dave Ramsey: "Relax. Use your discernment and get a good group of friends who can discern on the ladies for you. That always helps." (07:30)

Jade reinforces the idea of maintaining high standards and seeking relationships based on shared values and work ethics:

Jade: "If you are going to be around me, you got to come correct because I'm an intense person." (06:50)

She also suggests that the caller may benefit from broadening his social circles to meet like-minded individuals who appreciate his qualities beyond financial success.

Conclusion and Key Takeaways

The episode concludes with actionable strategies for the caller:

1. Maintain High Personal Standards: Both Ramsey and Warshaw emphasize the importance of holding personal values and standards high when seeking a partner. This ensures that relationships are built on mutual respect and shared goals rather than financial dependency.

2. Discernment and Self-Awareness: Ramsey advises the caller to use discernment in evaluating potential partners, encouraging self-awareness about his own presentation and the signals he may be sending about his financial status.

3. Expand Social Circles: By engaging in diverse and meaningful social activities, the caller can increase his chances of meeting individuals who value him for his character and not just his financial achievements.

4. Seek Genuine Connections: Fostering relationships based on genuine emotional connections reduces the likelihood of encountering partners interested solely in financial benefits.

Notable Quotes

• Caller: "I'm looking for any sort of advice on how to select a partner who's not remotely interested in my position in life." (00:47)

• Jade Warshaw: "You have to have some discernment there to go. Am I a ticket out?" (03:23)

• Dave Ramsey: "Relax. Use your discernment and get a good group of friends who can discern on the ladies for you. That always helps." (07:30)

Final Thoughts

This episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights offers valuable insights for young entrepreneurs navigating the complexities of romantic relationships amidst financial success. By prioritizing personal values, practicing discernment, and expanding social networks, individuals can foster meaningful connections that transcend monetary interests.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the Ramsey Network app. Download today to go further with Ramsey.

[Caller]

So I've got a bit of a strange problem here.

[Dave Ramsey]

Perfect. Jade loves strange.

[Jade]

I love weird problems.

[Caller]

Perfect. It might not sound so strange once I explain it. I'm 25 years old. I own my own home. I built a construction company. I make about 130,000 a year. And I've got a real proclivity for building my income, building my business, building my personal wealth over time.

[Jade]

Great.

[Caller]

And one of the things I'm really struggling with and I'm looking for a non biased opinion because you know how friends are. They're great, but, you know, you can only get so much. I'm looking for any sort of advice on how to select a partner who's not remotely interested in my position in life. When you say we have a lot of.

[Jade]

Are you talking about business partner or romantic partner?

[Dave Ramsey]

Romantic partner got you your position in life.

[Caller]

I mean, just at 25, I'm doing fairly well.

[Jade]

Tell us what that means. What's your net worth?

[Caller]

Net worth? Like, are you saying if I. My business net worth or if I were to liquidate.

[Dave Ramsey]

You don't have that much, my friend. You just can't answer that question. Listen, I appreciate where you're at, young man. You said you're 25 and you have a proclivity. Great word, by the way.

[Jade]

Yeah, wonderful vocabulary.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm a big fan of proclivity. Just used it twice there because I like the way it sounds. To make a lot of money and all this. No, we don't know that you're 25. I appreciate your confidence, but if the question is how do I make sure I find a girlfriend who's not into me for my position in life, I go, well, I don't know that I want to find a woman who's not interested in my position because that position in life. The way I'm hearing that is you got to provide position leads to provision. Jay, come on.

[Jade]

Okay, Ken, you're right. And so, I mean, yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're not in a place, my friend, where you're worried about gold diggers unless you're hanging out in the trailer park. Are you dating women that are in poverty situations?

[Caller]

I try not to, but they. They pop up.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, okay, so listen, this is good. Listen, don't listen. If a. If you are dating. I got to be very careful how I say this, but I'm going to answer the question. I got you here to correct me.

[Jade]

But maybe I ought to say it.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, let me say it.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

If I'm trying to. I got it. I'm channeling Stacy right now to make sure my wife is right beside me. And I'm thinking, what would Stacy want me to say? Okay. Because she's a good woman. If a woman who is in poverty pops up into your dating life, I don't have a problem with that. People deserve dignity. And there's lots of great women and lovely women and lovely men who come from poverty. So I'm not saying cancel it out. However, if a person from poverty pops up in your dating life, as you begin to date them, you should have some discernment there to go. Am I a ticket out?

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Or. And so you just have to have some extra judgment and discernment there. I wouldn't cancel them out, but at the same time, I wouldn't necessarily be, you know, hanging out in those areas either. So I'm trying to walk the fence there.

[Jade]

I think it's.

[Dave Ramsey]

I just think this is a problem he doesn't need to be worried about.

[Jade]

I don't think it is a problem. I think it goes both ways. The same way you are. All that stuff matters to your point. Your station in life, your work ethic, what you're accomplishing. That's part of the resume.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Jade]

You know, the personal resume. And so the same way that you have built a personal resume that people will learn about as they get to meet you, you will learn about their personal resume as you meet them and learn about them, and you get to decide who gets the position based off of their personal resume. And so there's nothing wrong with that. You opened up the call talking about, this was a stranger, weird problem. And I don't think it's strange at all. I think it's just part of everyday life when you meet somebody and you get to decide, okay, is this person going to be somebody that I'm going to be friends with, or is this person going to be somebody that I date long term?

[Dave Ramsey]

Have you had a lady? You said that this has popped up a few times. So have you had someone that has come from extreme poverty that has dated you and you felt like they were only dating you because you were a meal ticket out?

[Caller]

Yes, it's happened to me more than once. How do you.

[Dave Ramsey]

How did you know? Tell us. Be very specific. How'd you know? When did you know that she was only after you for your money?

[Caller]

It happened a couple of months, about three months in. I noticed at first she was very big. On balance, as far as our personal time and psychological Investments, you know, we're able to talk and work things and figure stuff out between us as people.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Caller]

But as time goes on, it turns more into what kind of life you can provide for me and my future children. And. And there's no reciprocation besides physical, which to me is, you know, it's got a value. But I'm not sure.

[Jade]

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not sure I understand. And I. And I want to understand.

[Dave Ramsey]

I agree. You're not being specific enough.

[Jade]

There's part of it that I think it is part of the conversation. Maybe, maybe, and I don't know, you were there. I was not there. Maybe she's saying, hey, here's what I'm looking for in life. I. These are. These are what I consider. Consider gender roles. I would love to be in a relationship where maybe the guy works, maybe I stay at home with the kids. She could just be sharing that. That's something that she's looking for. Am I. Did I miss it, or.

[Dave Ramsey]

I think she's right, Josh. Did she say, I want you to buy me this and buy me that? And, I mean, was it very obvious, or is this just a young lady talking about what life might look like.

[Caller]

In separate instances? It's been both.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, you're worried about stuff you shouldn't be worried about. On that, let me. Let me put this way, Jade. When you and Sam got serious.

[Jade]

You don't want to ask me this.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yes, I do. What were you thinking? Like, what were you. What were you wondering about, Sam?

[Jade]

My exact words were. You got to come correct. Those were my exact words. Meaning I. I have a high standard of work ethic and what we both do.

[Dave Ramsey]

Did you ask him about his professional future and what he thought he was going to do with his life?

[Jade]

I could see it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. But my point is. You were interested.

[Jade]

I was interested. I'm like, listen, I'm a go getter. You're a go getter. Like we. Everything we do, we do 100%. Like, that was the standard. It's like, if you. If you're going to be around me, you got to come correct because I'm an intense person.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And so that was that on that.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right. So. So, all right, I'm putting Josh on hold here. I. I said what I said. What are you. What's your dating. I think he needs to be in better pools.

[Jade]

He probably needs to be in better pools. I also think that I. And I don't say this to be. There's no salt or shade on this. I do think that he's viewing himself in a light that's a little bit puffy.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, 100%.

[Jade]

And so I think that if he just kind of chills a little bit.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Everybody's not after him. You're doing well, but you've not.

[Dave Ramsey]

Like, you don't have a proclivity to build wealth yet you're 25.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Can I just say that? Yes. I mean, come on, man. So you're doing well, but relax. Yeah, Relax. Use your discernment and get a good group of friends who can discern on the ladies for you. That always helps. This is the Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Brought to you by the Ramsey Network app Download today to go further with Ramsey.