How Do I Get My Boyfriend To Make More Money?

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: How Do I Get My Boyfriend To Make More Money?
Date: March 11, 2026
Hosts: Dave Ramsey, George Kamel
Caller: Ashley

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Episode Overview

This episode addresses financial and life challenges faced by Ashley, a new mother earning a high income but struggling to cover rising expenses, primarily due to her unemployed boyfriend and childcare costs. Dave Ramsey and George Kamel give practical advice on managing immediate cash flow issues, re-evaluating the boyfriend’s role, and making strategic housing and caregiving decisions. The hosts balance tough-love relationship insights with actionable budgeting tactics.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Caller’s Financial Overview & Dilemma (00:09–02:14)

• Ashley recently had a baby (now 11 weeks old).
• Boyfriend (a car salesman) hasn't made sales and isn't contributing financially.
• Ashley will soon return to work; daycare costs could reach $3,000/month.
• Current living arrangement: Renting (from her father) at $3,000/month—an $800 recent increase.
• Ashley’s income: $145,000/year in a tech job.
• Debt: $15,000 on a car loan; no credit card or student loan debt.
• Struggling to cover bills as sole provider.

Notable Quote

"So I make $145,000 a year. I work in tech."
—Ashley (01:26)

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2. Relationship Dynamics and Trust Issues (02:28–03:46)

• Trust issues with boyfriend: Ashley wouldn’t trust him as a stay-at-home dad.
• Relationship has pre-existing issues; Ashley admits, “We did not plan it this way.”
• Dave’s stance: Very direct about the seriousness of the issues.

Notable Quotes

"Don't have a baby with someone you wouldn't trust to watch your child."
—George Kamel (02:43)

“He shouldn't be your boyfriend. ... You should dump this guy really soon. Multiple reasons why.”
—Dave Ramsey (02:58–03:46)

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3. Living Situation & Family Complexity (04:44–05:58)

• Renting from her father, who is in poor health.
• Father's concern over selling the house (avoiding capital gains tax); Ashley would inherit the house after his passing.
• Emotional and practical reasons for staying: Ashley feels “basically a prisoner in this home.”

Notable Quote

“My dad bought the house a bunch of years ago. ... If he sells the house, he would incur a massive tax bill. ... If we wait until he passes away, then we won’t incur the tax bill.”
—Ashley (05:23)

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4. Budget and Expenses Breakdown (06:03–07:05)

• Primary expenses:
  • Rent: $3,000
  • Daycare (upcoming): $3,000
  • Car payment: $350/month (Ashley pays $700 to pay down principal)
• Disposable income after major bills: Approx. $1,500/month left for all other costs
• Budgeting: Ashley is organized with budgeting.

Notable Quotes

"You got $1,500 left to pay for gas, food, insurance, and a tiny bit of fun money."
—George Kamel (06:51)

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5. Suggested Solutions and Action Steps (07:05–08:31)

• Primary recommendations:
  • Dump the boyfriend ("dead weight") or make plans assuming no contribution from him
  • Consider roommates to dramatically lower rent. Splitting with two others could reduce her share to ~$1,000/month.
  • Explore lower-cost childcare (e.g., retired grandmother, shared nanny, neighborhood options) to cut daycare cost in half or more.
  • Continue aggressively paying down car loan.
  • Maintain current job and minimize discretionary spending.
• Hosts emphasize re-evaluating every expense and optimizing budget to weather the current “season.”

Notable Quotes

"If you kick the deadbeat boyfriend out and get some roommates... Now you're talking three of you in there, you're paying $1,000 bucks a month."
—Dave Ramsey (06:03)

"Can you find a retired grandmother who’s bored out of her mind and has got all the motherly instincts?... It's a fraction of the cost."
—Dave Ramsey (07:22)

“You have to craft a plan forward with or without him. And right now it’s without him.”
—George Kamel (08:17)

“Use EveryDollar, craft a budget tonight, and then go, ‘What does the next six months look like?’ ... Hopefully this is just the season and you’ll be out of it.”
—George Kamel (08:31)

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Memorable Moments & Tone

• Tough-love advice: Dave is characteristically blunt, prioritizing Ashley's and her child's financial stability over relationship sensitivities.
• Empathy and solutions: Both hosts recognize the emotional difficulty but keep the conversation constructive and focused on resolving the financial crunch.
• Relatable scenarios: References to their own families and past call situations make the advice practical and accessible.

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Important Timestamps

• 00:09 – Ashley describes her situation and asks for advice
• 01:26 – Ashley states her income and housing context
• 02:28 – Discussion of boyfriend’s role and trust issues
• 03:46 – Dave’s direct advice to break up
• 05:23 – Ashley explains why she remains in her father’s house
• 06:03 – Expense breakdown and suggestions for roommates
• 07:22 – Alternative childcare options
• 08:17 – “Plan forward without him” advice
• 08:31 – Final budgeting recommendations

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Conclusion

This episode delivers a concise but in-depth intervention for a financially strained caller, with Dave Ramsey and George Kamel offering actionable steps and hard truths. They focus on empowering Ashley to regain control—through budget adjustments, seeking alternative childcare, and re-assessing personal relationships—ensuring her stability even if her boyfriend doesn’t step up. The tone is firm, direct, sometimes sharp, but rooted in practical support.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

If your private student loans are in default, you're not out of options.

[George Kamel]

Go to yrefi.com Ramsey My boyfriend and

[Ashley]

I just had a baby. He's 11 weeks old right now, Boyfriend is a car salesman and has not been making sales. So I have been paying all of our bills and I can barely cover. I can just cover our bills now and we've been doing okay. But when I need to go back to work in just about a month, we're sending the baby to daycare. And in the area we live in, daycare can be up to $3,000 a month and there's no way I can afford it anymore. So with my boyfriend not making any sales and we don't know when and if he's going to start making sales, I'm really struggling to figure out how we're going to make it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. A lot here. So, yes, let's talk about your income first. Just because you're not married and I know your boyfriend is the father of the baby and I appreciate all that. We'll get to him in a moment. I got thoughts on that whole situation. Boy, do I have some thoughts, George, but what, what, what's going on with you and your ability to make more money? What, what's happening there? I understand the, I understand the, the outrageous cost of childcare, believe me. But what has changed? Because the way you kind of laid that out, I'd like to know what's behind all this.

[Ashley]

So I make. So I make $145,000 a year. I work in tech.

[Dave Ramsey]

Fantastic.

[Ashley]

Yeah, so. And I live in the city, is pretty expensive. And it's a very long story behind this that I don't want to get into. But basically I live in my dad's house. And when my boyfriend moved in, actually just like pretty recently, my dad increased the, the rent of this house. So it's now $3,000 a month, which isn't astronomical, but with all the bills

[Dave Ramsey]

and what was it prior to that?

[Ashley]

It was 2200 prior to.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you had an $800 increase there. What's your debt situation?

[Ashley]

I stupidly have a car that I still owe about $15,000 on it, but that's it. No credit card debt or school loans or anything.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. So George, a quick analysis. She's making good income. Very good.

[George Kamel]

Your income is great. It sounds like he's about to be a stay at home dad if he doesn't come up with income quick. Is he capable of that? Would you even trust him with that role?

[Ashley]

That is the Problem. I wouldn't necessarily trust him. And we've been having a lot of relationship issues.

[George Kamel]

Okay. Rule number one, don't have a baby with someone you wouldn't trust to watch your child.

[Ashley]

Yeah, right.

[Dave Ramsey]

It was.

[Ashley]

It was not. We did not plan it this way.

[George Kamel]

Okay, well.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. So much, so much, so much there.

[George Kamel]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm not gonna dive into that lane. Although I get it. And to that point, he shouldn't be your boyfriend. He, because of that moment, is the father of this child, but you don't trust him to actually be the father of the child. You should dump this guy really soon. Multiple reasons why. And I'll. And I'll give it back to George and we'll start walking through some money stuff. But number one, you didn't want to have a relationship with the guy. Number two, you didn't want to have a kid with him. Number three, you don't trust him to actually watch your kid. Number four, he can't sell cars, so

[George Kamel]

he's dead weight right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

This guy doesn't need to be in a relationship with you, and he certainly does not need to be in that house with you. So I would legitimately dump him for those four reasons. And by the way, you can quote me and he can go watch this segment on YouTube. And I'm not trying to be unkind to him. I just. He needs a wake up call of adulthood. And the wake up call is you going, buddy, as George said, you're dead weight. You're out. So he's done, done, gone. And maybe he wakes up, but we've got to make plans as though he's not going to wake up. Okay, there's my. There, there's your. You've got to make this decision in light of the money advice that we're going to give you. All right. George bringing you in here on 145,000, $15,000 worth of debt.

[George Kamel]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[George Kamel]

You're called in saying that you don't have enough to cover the bills or it's getting tight. I want to challenge the expenses here because.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[George Kamel]

Can you rent for sixteen hundred dollars a month in your area?

[Ashley]

So that. That is the. Another, like the complication that I would be a whole separate call that I kind of don't. I think we probably don't have time to get into.

[George Kamel]

You're a prisoner in this home, aren't you?

[Ashley]

Basically, yes.

[George Kamel]

I had a feeling. Dad needs you to pay this money.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, he actually does it. Well, I could get somebody else.

[George Kamel]

Yeah. It's not your Problem. What's actually keeping you in this house?

[Ashley]

It's such a long story.

[George Kamel]

You don't have to give us.

[Dave Ramsey]

You don't have to give us a long story.

[George Kamel]

But think twice if you're okay. Ashley, we just want to know.

[Ashley]

I am fine. Okay, I'll try to say it in. In 20 seconds. So my dad bought the house a bunch of years ago. It's appreciated in value significantly. Like doubled in value. Like it's a multimillion dollar house. He is in very poor health. He's actually in the hospital right now for the third time in the last two weeks. And he says if he sells the house, he would incur a massive tax bill. And if we wait until he passes away, then we won't incur the tax bill.

[George Kamel]

You'll inherit it.

[Ashley]

Yes.

[George Kamel]

Yeah. With a step up in basis.

[Ashley]

Correct.

[George Kamel]

That is true. That still doesn't mean that we can sit paying three grand a month forever.

[Dave Ramsey]

So I wonder if you kick the deadbeat boyfriend out and get some roommates. That's George's go to.

[George Kamel]

I like that plan. Now you don't need to sell the car. I think you can pay it off aggressively. But you're bringing home what, eight or nine grand a month?

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Have you got a budget?

[Ashley]

I do, yeah. I've. I'm pretty buttoned up about it.

[Dave Ramsey]

So what's the car payment?

[Ashley]

Car payment is 350. I'm currently paying 700 per month on it to knock out the principal.

[Dave Ramsey]

So looking at these things here, trying to speed this up, George. I've got 3000 in rent. I've got 3000 in childcare, future daycare. I got 350 in a car payment. So we're right at 6500. Immediately.

[George Kamel]

You got 1500 left to pay for gas, food, insurance, and a tiny bit of fun money.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[George Kamel]

Now that's not like amazing, but it's a good start. And it gets you to survive and thrive on your own, regardless of.

[Dave Ramsey]

But George, what's the quick fix on that? And I think we've already talked about it. I mean, she can make some moves. A roommate.

[George Kamel]

Yeah. If you can get this rent down, you're going to free up. I mean, think about it. You split it with two people. Now you're talking three of you in there, you're paying 1,000 bucks a month. If not more, you might charge them more than, you know, 1,000 bucks for their spot.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I'm going to. I've given this advice a million times and people may be sick of it, but I think instead of the traditional institutional childcare, can you find a retired grandmother who's bored out of her mind and has got all the motherly instincts? We did this with our kids when my wife was working full time. And it's a fraction of the cost. If you're paying three grand in childcare. What if you paid 1500? And I'm not telling you that's the number, but I'm just. We're trying to give you real solutions. Year between a roommate and a awesome grandmother in your community would love to take care of your little guy, that's slashing your cost in half.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[George Kamel]

And even shared nanny situations.

[Dave Ramsey]

Those existing neighborhood, we. We break up or at least kick deadbeat out. I'm not telling you to break up with him at this point, although I would. But if we kick him out and then hopefully he wakes up, starts selling something,

[George Kamel]

the sad part is we just have to assume that it's going to be status quo and that he's not going to contribute. You have to craft a plan forward with or without him. And right now it's without him.

[Dave Ramsey]

What did I leave out, George? What else would you do on that? Reducing cost. Now that you know what our margin

[George Kamel]

is, I mean, you're going to have to keep this job you have, hopefully it's steady and work on getting rid of all of the expenses in your life. The car is one of them, bringing down the rent. I can't, you know, solve the daycare problem instantly, but I think you at least have more options than you think. And even then you got some room left over, which isn't a terrible thing. So I would use every dollar, craft a budget tonight, and then go, what does the next six months look like? What does the next year or two look like? And hopefully this is just the season and you'll be out of it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why? Refi Refinances Defaulted private student loans for struggling borrowers. Learn more at Y r e f y.com Ramsey.