How Do I Tell My Fiancé We Can't Afford To Move?

Summary

Summary of "How Do I Tell My Fiancé We Can't Afford To Move?" Episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights

Introduction

In the April 3, 2025 episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, hosted by the Ramsey Network, listeners are presented with practical financial advice through the story of Joseph, a 24-year-old warehouse manager, and his 25-year-old fiancée. The episode delves into the challenges faced by young couples striving to achieve financial stability while balancing personal aspirations. Rachel Cruze and Jade Warshaw provide insightful guidance, emphasizing budgeting, debt management, and realistic goal setting.

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Caller’s Situation: Financial Constraints and Moving Plans

Joseph reaches out to the show with a dilemma: his fiancée desires to move out from her parents' property into a larger home, but their current financial situation makes this move precarious.

• Living Arrangement and Debt: Joseph and his fiancée currently reside in a back house on her parents' property, paying only the electric bill while focusing on paying off their debts. Joseph mentions, “It's like I'm trying to not break her heart, but tell her that we might need to stay longer until we pay off all of our debts before we add another bill expense” (00:06).

• Intent to Move: The fiancée’s motivation is not driven by necessity but rather by a desire for independence and a more spacious home for their three children. Joseph explains, “It's always we're getting a bit older just to get away from... something we want to move to a bigger place for the kids” (00:34).

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Financial Analysis and Budgeting

Rachel Cruze begins by understanding the root of the desire to move, confirming it's more about personal growth than an urgent need. She inquires about their financial specifics to assess the feasibility of moving.

• Income and Debt Details: Joseph discloses their combined annual income of $44,000, with three remaining loans averaging $2,500 each. He mentions, “I could pay off one loan and that loan, that’s $400 a month that I can put towards other loans” (02:29).

• Current Expenses: Living with parents significantly reduces their living expenses, allowing them to focus on debt repayment. Rachel probes further, uncovering that Joseph’s fiancée is a stay-at-home mom, which impacts their monthly budget dynamics.

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Advice from the Hosts: Debt Cascade and Strategic Planning

Jade Warshaw and Rachel Cruze offer structured advice aimed at aligning the couple’s financial capabilities with their personal goals.

• Debt Repayment Strategy: Rachel suggests focusing on debt elimination before considering additional financial commitments. She emphasizes budgeting, asking Joseph if they’ve incorporated the potential rent into their plans: “Have you guys put that into a budget just to see what that looks like” (01:02).

• Timeline for Debt Clearance: Jade advises Joseph to stick to a logical debt repayment order, preferably smallest to largest, to maintain momentum. She encourages a six-month timeline to pay off $7,500 in debt, facilitating the move once debts are cleared (02:50, 05:01).

• Impact of Income and Future Earnings: Rachel points out the importance of realistic expectations based on their current income, stating, “That's what I'm gonna say, I mean, I'm gonna say as the kids get older and as you guys start looking... it may not happen as fast as she may want it” (05:26). She highlights the potential for income growth, which could expedite their financial goals.

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Balancing Personal Aspirations and Financial Realities

The conversation underscores the delicate balance between achieving personal desires and adhering to financial prudence.

• Sacrifices and Short-Term Delays: Jade remarks, “A dream deferred is not a dream denied... in this season, I've got to work hard” (07:55). This highlights the necessity of temporary sacrifices for long-term gains.

• Emotional Considerations: Rachel empathetically acknowledges the emotional aspect of the situation, reassuring Joseph that addressing financial realities is not heartless: “Math is breaking her heart... But math has to be a reality that we have to live in” (06:03).

• Strategic Planning: Both hosts emphasize the importance of having a clear plan and timeline to reduce uncertainty and stress. Rachel advises setting a definitive move date, such as “September 30th” for renting a new place, to provide tangible goals (06:03).

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Conclusion and Encouragement

Rachel and Jade conclude the episode by commending Joseph and his fiancée for their progress in debt repayment and budgeting. They encourage them to maintain their disciplined approach, highlighting their young age as an advantage for future income growth and financial stability.

• Positive Reinforcement: Rachel states, “You guys are killing it. I mean, you guys have made so much progress already. So keep up the great work” (05:56).

• Call to Action: The episode concludes with a prompt for listeners to create their own budgets using the EveryDollar app, reinforcing the show's commitment to practical financial management tools.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Joseph on Financial Dilemma:
   “It's like I'm trying to not break her heart, but tell her that we might need to stay longer until we pay off all of our debts before we add another bill expense” (00:06)

2. Rachel on Budgeting:
   “Have you guys put that into a budget just to see what that looks like” (01:02)

3. Jade on Debt Repayment:
   “You want to move smallest to largest, like that's the way that we would teach you to do it” (02:43)

4. Rachel on Income Reality:
   “You guys are running on a tight ship. And so to just, I mean, I'm gonna say as the kids get older and as you guys start looking... it may not happen as fast as she may want it” (05:26)

5. Jade on Dream Deferred:
   “A dream deferred is not a dream denied... In this season, I've got to work hard” (07:55)

6. Rachel on Emotional Aspect:
   “Math is breaking her heart... But math has to be a reality that we have to live in” (06:03)

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Key Takeaways

• Prioritize Debt Repayment: Focus on eliminating existing debts before taking on new financial responsibilities.

• Create a Detailed Budget: Incorporate all potential expenses, including rent, into your budget to understand affordability.

• Set Clear Timelines: Establish specific dates for achieving financial goals to maintain focus and reduce uncertainty.

• Balance Dreams with Reality: Recognize the need for temporary sacrifices to achieve long-term financial stability and personal goals.

• Utilize Financial Tools: Leverage budgeting apps like EveryDollar to streamline financial planning and tracking.

This episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights serves as a valuable guide for young couples navigating the complexities of financial planning, debt management, and balancing personal aspirations with economic realities.

Transcript

[Rachel]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app.

[Jade]

Start budgeting for free today.

[Joseph]

Okay, well, my fiance and I, well, I should say my fiance wants to move. We currently live at her on her parents property in a back house while we're paying off our debt. And when we get taxes in, she'd like to pay off one of the loans but then move. And I like, from all the numbers I've touched, it's like I'm trying to not break her heart, but tell her that we might need to stay longer until we pay off all of our debts before we add another bill expense.

[Rachel]

Yeah. Why does she want to move?

[Joseph]

It's always we're getting a bit older just to get away from, you know, parents. Nothing wrong with parents. It's just something we want to move to a bigger place for the kids.

[Rachel]

Okay. So it's more out of a desire, not a necessity. It's not like something is going awry relationally. And it's like, we gotta get outta here for the health of our family. There's not an urgency to it necessarily. It's just a deep desire of like, I wanna be on my own.

[Joseph]

Yes, ma'am.

[Rachel]

Okay, perfect. So how much, how much extra do you guys have a month? If you were to try to say, okay, yeah, here's what we would probably rent for. Have you guys put that into a budget just to see what that looks like.

[Joseph]

Ping. I have paying off the loans still. Like if we were to move instead of paying off the loans, I'd be like neg. 350.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Joseph]

Every month.

[Jade]

How much are the loans?

[Joseph]

I've got three loans that all average about $2500.

[Jade]

2,500. Okay. Okay.

[Joseph]

Yes.

[Jade]

And what's the. What are you paying right now to live in this other property that your parents have? Electrical.

[Rachel]

Are you there?

[Joseph]

Yes.

[Rachel]

Okay. How much, how much are you guys paying? Do you. Are you paying anything? Are they letting you live there for free?

[Joseph]

Pretty much free. I just pay the electric bill while they.

[Rachel]

How much do you make a year, Joseph? You and your wife combined?

[Joseph]

My wife's a stay at home mom. And this year I made 44,000.

[Rachel]

44,000. Okay. Cause I was gonna say, I mean, you have eight grand of debt. It's not.

[Jade]

Yeah, well, were you paying off other debt before this? And this is just what's left or.

[Joseph]

This is what's left.

[Jade]

Okay, that makes more sense.

[Rachel]

Okay, sorry.

[Jade]

Okay, so when do you think? Like based off of the progress you've been making, how quickly can you have this? 7,500 paid off.

[Joseph]

I mean, I could pay off one loan and that, that loan, that's $400 a month that I can put towards other loans. It's like paying off one, but it's time to the hard variable. So if I could pay off the biggest and then pay off the other ones.

[Jade]

Well, you want to move smallest to largest, like that's the way that we would teach you to do it. But even doing that, how quickly do you think you'd be through the whole.

[Joseph]

7,500 within the next six months?

[Jade]

Six months. Okay. Yeah. So that gives you adequate time to start doing your research and seeing what it would look like to rent. Like Rachel said, you're throwing it in a budget. You're kind of running the numbers and getting used to what that idea would feel like. And by the time this debt is gone, it's going to be, you know, you packing up that.

[Rachel]

Yeah. I mean, how many, how many kids do you guys have?

[Joseph]

Three.

[Rachel]

How many?

[Joseph]

Three.

[Rachel]

Three. Okay. Because Joseph, I would say what do you do for a career?

[Joseph]

Warehouse management.

[Rachel]

Okay. Because 44 grand, you know, with a family of five.

[Jade]

Before taxes.

[Rachel]

Before taxes. You know, I mean, yeah, you guys are running on a tight ship. And so to just, I mean, I'm gonna say as the kids get older and as you guys start looking, because eventually, yes, the goal is to own your own place one day. You know, there it's, it's either gonna take, oh, it's gonna take longer. Right. With on a $44,000 salary or if she decides to pick up some work and do something from home to bring in, I mean, even a thousand bucks a month or something to help kind of speed this up as well. Right. I mean, I think that's what's always, you know, difficult in a situation is, you know, we are all for stay at home moms. Like, that is not a slam against her. I mean, I think that that is incredible. Absolutely incredible. But when you make one choice there then other choices, you know. So she has to understand too that there's a reality of what you guys make every year and what you bring in a month. And there's a reality of what you can afford. So either if you know, and I don't want you working 80 hours a week to be able to own a home. Right. I mean, like there's a reality too, to your time and enjoyment of life. But that's a reality she needs to realize. So even though I know she doesn't like being there, There's a math issue here too.

[Joseph]

How Old are the kids 6, 7 and 2?

[Jade]

So is she doing the homeschool thing or are they. Are two of them already in kindergarten.

[Joseph]

And.

[Rachel]

Yeah, homeschool. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Which is great. So I think that, you know, and you guys do a budget together. I mean, I'm assuming she sees all these numbers.

[Joseph]

We just started like I just discovered the Ramsey Solutions two, three months ago.

[Rachel]

Oh, awesome. Well, you guys made great progress. Well done. That's awesome. So, and how old are you guys? You may have said this.

[Joseph]

I am 24. She is 25.

[Rachel]

Okay. Okay, well. And the positive thing is too, Joseph, I mean, if, you know, if this was the case and you guys were in your late 30s or something, I'd be like, okay, we got it, we got to keep moving. But you're young in a sense that, you know, you will only be moving up in income from, you know, every year. You should progressively be making more. And that's the positive. So it may not happen as fast as she may want it. But also they're, you know, I would make it a goal though, to at least get out. I understand what she's saying. And become, you know, your own crew somewhere and renting, but buying a home and all of that, it may just take a little bit longer.

[Jade]

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

[Joseph]

Yeah, I understand that. And like, I hope she does too. It's just I don't want to break her heart because she was like, we need to move, we need to move.

[Rachel]

Well, you're not breaking her heart. Math is breaking her heart. Because she's not living in reality. I mean, she could be sad about it. And that's, that's appropriate too, right? It's like, oh my gosh, I want to be gone out of here. And this sucks and I hate it. But you know what, grownups, we, we all do things that we don't, we don't like. But, But I would say, again, hear me say we are pro being on your own. Even if you were a single guy, Joseph, and you were 24, like, hey, Joseph, how can you get out of your parents house? Right? So for the time being, you guys are on a plan and have an end date as well. This would help her too, when you actually look. Cause you said we can be done in six months. And you know, it's. It's February, so what is that? August ish or so. And make it a plan to say, okay, by September 30th, we are renting a new spot. October 1st, we'll be paying rent for a new spot. Right. And you guys together need to be a timeline and have that end date because that's going to help her if it's this just like forever. We're gonna try, we'll see. That ambiguity, I feel like stresses people out and I understand that in her case. So have a plan and then you guys. Yeah, Rent. And then again, I don't know. There's a reality too for her to realize. I mean, you guys are in a great spot, a situation to pay off this debt fast versus having to pay 800 in rent somewhere in Lafayette. So that's what I would do.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

What do you think, Jade?

[Jade]

I think you're right. You know, I like, I love when moms want to stay at home. I think it's a great idea. I love the idea of homeschooling. But there's two really, like you said, facing the reality of a financial situation. And like I've said many times on this show, a dream deferred is not a dream denied. Just because you say, hey, in this season, I'm not getting, you know, I'm not able to have my cake and eat it too. So in this season, I've got to work hard. And then once I get our ourselves in a better situation, then I can do those things. I can stay at home. I can do the homeschooling. So I think that there's a little bit of sacrificing to win that needs to take place here.

[Rachel]

Yes. Or you're sacrificing by choosing to. To be home and homeschooling, which again is great, but then you're sacrificing homeownership down the road.

[Jade]

That's also true.

[Rachel]

And you got. And that's. And that's the thing, right? You guys have just have to look at the math and the values of your family. Joseph. And that's what you want to drive you. But math has to be a reality that we have to live in, that we can't just want something and it just happened. That's not being a grown up either. So I hope that helps. Joseph. But you guys are killing it. I mean, you guys have made so much progress already. So keep up the great work. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.