"How Do I tell My Fiancée I'm Worth Over $20 Million?" (She Doesn't Know)

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights: “How Do I Tell My Fiancée I'm Worth Over $20 Million?”

Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Date: December 19, 2025
Hosts: Dave Ramsey & Jade Warshaw
Caller: Anonymous

---

Episode Overview

This episode centers on a caller seeking advice about how to disclose his substantial net worth—nearly $20 million—to his fiancée, who is currently unaware of the full extent of his wealth. The discussion explores the emotional, ethical, and practical considerations around financial transparency in relationships, reasons for secrecy, and whether a prenuptial agreement (prenup) is appropriate in this scenario. Dave Ramsey and Jade Warshaw provide candid counsel, relate to the caller’s fears, and debate their own evolving views on prenups.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller’s Situation: Hiding Wealth from Fiancée

• Background:

  • The caller is 45, engaged for 8 months, in a relationship for 3 years.
  • He’s worth close to $20 million, lives frugally, and earns about $700,000/year.
  • Fiancée knows he is “a millionaire,” but not the actual figure.
  • He fears disclosing his wealth due to a previous relationship where money was a factor.

• Key Quotes:

  • Caller (00:06): “My fiancée does not quite know what my net worth is. How do I tell her?”
  • Caller (01:12): “She knows I'm a millionaire. But she doesn't quite know that... I live very frugal.”
  • Caller (02:19): “I was in a relationship once where I found out it started because of the money.”

2. Host Reaction: On Honesty and Timing

• Disclosure Timing:

  • Dave and Jade are surprised the caller waited until after engagement to bring up full financial transparency, insisting trust is foundational.
  • Dave emphasizes the importance of honesty before proposing.

• Key Quotes:

  • Dave Ramsey (00:48): “How in the world do you get engaged and have never told her? You should have told her before you got engaged.”
  • Jade Warshaw (02:01): “So for that long of a period, that means you were intentionally keeping it from her… Why?”

3. Trust, Transparency, and Self-Reflection

• Caller’s Justification:

  • Cites fear from past experience.
  • Believes his fiancée isn’t after his money because she never asks for things, tried to pay him back when he helped, and accepted his financial support without entitlement.

• Hosts’ Analysis:

  • Dave points out the contradiction: the caller secretly paid off $40k of her debt, yet fears financial motives.
  • The hosts highlight that if full trust and openness aren’t present, the relationship needs addressing.

• Key Quotes:

  • Dave Ramsey (03:55): “So worried about her not finding out… you sure did write a $40,000 check. That's inconsistent.”
  • Caller (05:06): “Agreed.”
  • Dave Ramsey (05:06): “You shouldn't ask someone to marry you that you can't be honest with and transparent with, that you don't trust.”

4. Advice for Handling the Confession

• How to Approach:

  • Begin with a sincere apology for not sharing finances earlier.
  • Explain the past hurt and fear, clarify that the fiancée is not being blamed.
  • Prepare to share full financial details in person.

• Timing and Setting:

  • Dave: Wait to have the conversation face-to-face.

• Key Quotes:

  • Dave Ramsey (05:18): “I think the conversation starts with ‘I owe you an apology…’ and now I've got to do something I should have done eight months ago.”
  • Dave Ramsey (05:56): “You have 24 hours, my man. No more dreading this. No more thinking about it.”

5. Prenuptial Agreement Debate

• Dave's Stance:

  • Normally against prenups, but in cases of extreme net worth difference, he recommends one for both parties’ protection.
  • Emphasizes that it shouldn’t be about protecting from the fiancée herself, but perhaps from external relatives.
  • Highlights that a prenup should be mutual and decided with clarity and good intentions.

• Evolving Perspectives:

  • Dave references an argument likening prenups to wills: both are ways to pre-decide outcomes rather than let the law decide if the worst occurs.

• Key Quotes:

  • Dave Ramsey (06:13): “We do not recommend prenups, except in situations where there's extreme difference in net worth… and there's extreme difference here. So I do recommend a prenup.”
  • Dave Ramsey (06:29): “If you think that you need a prenup to protect you from her, don’t get married.”
  • Dave Ramsey (08:11): “This guy’s argument was: you have a prenup because the law is there. The judge and the court’s gonna... Just like with a will, they’re gonna tell you what’s gonna happen. But with a prenup, you decide.”

6. Philosophy on Prenups and Relationships

• Discussion:

  • Dave and Jade discuss how prenups are typically seen as planning for divorce, possibly tainting the relationship from the start.
  • However, new framing—that it's mutual pre-planning, like a will—rings true in unique situations.
  • Jade adds a personal touch, saying if her husband had wanted a prenup, she'd have walked away, underlining how individual values matter.

• Key Quotes:

  • Jade Warshaw (09:28): “That's facts. That's facts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
  • Jade Warshaw (10:25): “But even the idea that two people could sit down and say, hey, we're getting married. Let's do some planning…In the unlikely event of a water landing, a divorce landing, here's what we're gonna do.”
  • Dave Ramsey (10:54): “I'm still not a fan. I'm still not gonna tell you to do it, but I will. I'm admitting here on the air that it made me stop and think about it.”
  • Jade Warshaw (11:08): “As I'm thinking about it, though, I'm also thinking, if Sam Warshaw came to me with this conversation, I'd be like...”
  • Dave Ramsey (11:14): “Yeah, the door is that way. We'd be done, bud.”

---

Notable Moments & Memorable Quotes

• Caller’s Net Worth Revelation
  • (00:57) Jade: “Did you say close to 20 million?”
• Frugality Despite Wealth
  • (01:12) Caller: “Lived in the same house since 2005. Drive a vehicle from 2011.”
• Trust vs. Secrecy
  • (02:01) Jade: “That means you were intentionally keeping it from her... why?”
• Paying Off Her Debt
  • (03:41) Caller: “I did pay off her debt. She had debt. I did pay it off.”
  • (03:55) Dave: “For someone who's so worried… you sure did write a $40,000 check. That's inconsistent.”
• Advice on Apology and Full Disclosure
  • (05:18) Dave: “I think the conversation starts with ‘I owe you an apology...’”
• On Prenups Being Like Wills
  • (08:11) Dave: “You have a prenup because... the judge and the court's gonna... just like with a will, they're gonna tell you what's gonna happen. But with a prenup, you decide.”
• On Relationship Red Flags
  • (11:14) Jade & Dave: “Yeah, the door is that way. We'd be done, bud.”

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:06 – Caller explains his hidden net worth and lawyer’s advice.
• 01:02 – Jade confirms net worth is “close to 20 million.”
• 02:01 – 02:19 – Why caller kept wealth secret; prior painful experience.
• 03:30 – 03:41 – Paying off fiancée’s debts.
• 05:06 – 05:18 – Dave’s advice: Start with an apology for lack of openness.
• 06:13 – Dave: Extreme net worth difference justifies a prenup in this case.
• 08:11 – 09:30 – Dave’s evolving perspective: framing prenups like wills.
• 10:25 – 11:14 – Personal viewpoints: Jade on why she wouldn't accept a prenup from her spouse.

---

Summary Conclusion

This episode offers a candid, nuanced look at money, honesty, and relationship dynamics when significant wealth is involved. Dave and Jade underscore the importance of financial transparency before marriage and weigh the often controversial idea of prenuptial agreements, ultimately suggesting that in this caller's case, both an apology and a prenup are realistically warranted. The discussion is practical yet deeply reflective, offering listeners both actionable advice and an insightful peek into the emotional undercurrents of financial decisions between partners.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Caller]

I'm engaged. I'm 45 years old. My fiance does not quite know what my net worth is. How do I tell her fully and that I. My lawyer says I pretty much have to have a prenup.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, your lawyer is not in charge of your life yet.

[Caller]

No, I. Everyday.

[Dave Ramsey]

Number one, lawyers. Lawyers give advice. They don't tell me what to do. And then I decide if A, they want them to be my lawyer anymore and B, if I'm going to take their advice, they don't get to tell me I have to do something. That's not how. You're not the boss of me now. So how in the world do you get engaged and have never told her? You should have told her before you got engaged.

[Caller]

I. I agree. She knows I'm worth a decent amount. She just doesn't know the full amount.

[Jade Warshaw]

What is the full amount?

[Caller]

Close to 20 million.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow, 12 to 20 million. That's a little vague.

[Jade Warshaw]

Did you say close to 20 million?

[Caller]

Just shy of the last time I had my financials audited.

[Jade Warshaw]

And you're telling me there's no signs that you're a 20 millionaire?

[Caller]

She knows I'm a millionaire. But she doesn't quite know that. No, I'm. I live very frugal. Lived in the Same house since 2005. Drive a vehicle from 2011.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. So you said you. You said your net worth is close. 220 million. Did I mishear you?

[Caller]

No, you did not mishear me.

[Dave Ramsey]

You said 12 to. I thought I heard you say 12.

[Jade Warshaw]

Close. Close to 20.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so I did miss you. Okay, so let's call it.

[Caller]

Let's call it 2600,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you, what do you make a year?

[Caller]

700 ish thousand.

[Dave Ramsey]

Does she know that?

[Caller]

She knows I make a good amount.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, well, she doesn't know that.

[Caller]

No.

[Jade Warshaw]

How long have you been together?

[Caller]

Three years.

[Dave Ramsey]

How long have you been engaged?

[Caller]

Eight months.

[Jade Warshaw]

So you were. Can I, Can I ask a clear question for that long of a period of time that means you were intentionally keeping it from her? There was a point that came. I'm not going to tell her this.

[Caller]

Yes and no.

[Jade Warshaw]

And my question for you is why?

[Caller]

I was in a relationship once where I found out it started because of the money.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Caller]

I guess I never wanted to burn.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hang on. We're going to talk about this after the break because it's a good question. So the reason you've not disclosed this to her is because you got. You had someone before that was after you and you realized they were only after you for your money, right?

[Caller]

Yeah. You could sum it up to that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And so how do you know this lady's not.

[Advertisement Voice]

Listen, your personal data's hanging around the Internet like that group text that just won't die. And cleaning up your digital footprint is a part time job just submitting these opt out requests. And that's why I use delete me. And if you don't want your data out on the clearance rack of the Internet, you should be using it too. Take back your privacy today with delete me right now, you can get 20% off at JoinDeleteMe.com Ramsey and use code Ramsey at checkout. That's JoinDeleteMe.com Ramsey code RamsayEckout.

[Dave Ramsey]

How do you know this lady's not.

[Caller]

She's. I, I can say one of we did have a talk about debt because obviously I'm not a fan of it. And she did at one time have some debts. And I went, how do you know.

[Dave Ramsey]

She'S not after your money?

[Caller]

Because she never asked for anything. She, she tried to pay me back, tried to give me money every month when I did that, and I obviously said, I don't want it, please.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, she gave you, gave her some money.

[Caller]

I did pay off her debt. She had debt. I did pay it off.

[Jade Warshaw]

How much?

[Caller]

I looked at it, that looked like 40,000. So I wouldn't. It was some student loans, car, and she had unfortunately a payday loan. Like you just talked for someone who's.

[Dave Ramsey]

So worried about her not finding out that you have wealth because she might be after you for your money, you sure did write a $40,000 check. That's inconsistent.

[Caller]

Yeah, I, I look at that as I've been with her, you know, for years. And if it got chopped up that I got burnt on it, hey, I got burnt.

[Jade Warshaw]

How early into the relationship did you pay off her debt?

[Caller]

Two years.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

No. And I looked at it that if she left me, I would.

[Jade Warshaw]

And did she ask?

[Dave Ramsey]

Did she ask?

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, you did say that you didn't.

[Dave Ramsey]

Offer to pay it back. All right, so. Okay, here's the thing. What makes. What makes you. What makes. So just the fact that she's never asked you for anything and offered to pay that back makes her. Makes you think she's not after your money.

[Caller]

Yeah. I just think I would have seen it in the, in the course three years that we've been together that she never came to me for money.

[Dave Ramsey]

So how do you react to this. How do you react to this statement? You should have told her before you asked her to marry you.

[Caller]

Agreed.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. Because you shouldn't ask someone to marry you that you can't be honest with and transparent with, that you don't trust.

[Caller]

You know, I fully know I'm in the wrong.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. So I think. I think the conversation starts with that I owe you an apology. We should have talked in detail about our finances before we got engaged. And I didn't do that because I was afraid because of this other person. The way I was treated before. I don't think you're that person. And I didn't know how to handle this. And so I'm sorry. Now I've got to do something that I should have done eight months ago. And that's unpack for you what I have.

[Caller]

Yeah, no, I truly agree. I just.

[Dave Ramsey]

I think that. I think that's the way you have the conversation. And you have it. You have 24 hours, my man.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

No more dreading this. No more thinking about it. This is cost. You can't sleep. You're fretting about this, you're worried about this.

[Caller]

Second quick question, then. I actually won't see her. We actually. I'm an American and she's a Canadian, so I travel back and forth. So I won't see her for, actually, a couple weeks.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, then wait till you see her. This is in person? Yeah, this is in person. Yeah. Okay. And we do not recommend prenups, except in situations where there's extreme difference in their net worth and there's extreme difference here. So I do recommend a prenup.

[Caller]

Okay?

[Dave Ramsey]

I recommend it. I'm not your lawyer. I didn't tell you. You have to do it. And let me tell you, if you think that you need a prenup to protect you from her, don't get married.

[Caller]

Yeah, I don't believe that for one second.

[Dave Ramsey]

The only reason you're getting a prenup is to protect you from her crazy relatives.

[Caller]

And she has one.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, well, everybody does. And if you think they don't, then that means it's you. So. All right, so when you get. Next time you're in person, we sit down and you start with I, an apology that you should have trusted her enough to unpack this before you ask for her hand.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then you tell her what's going on and what we're doing. And, you know, a financial advisor has suggested we discuss. Have. As recommended we have a prenup to protect us. So you can look at your family and say, I don't have anything. He handles it all. And, and you come into them, you go out of the marriage with what you came into the marriage with. And basic prenup stuff.

[Caller]

Okay, sounds. Sounds good.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Very interesting. Thanks for the call.

[Caller]

Thank you so much.

[Dave Ramsey]

Appreciate it.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Have a great day. You too. So, Jade, John Deloney posed an interesting question to me the other day, and it'll come up again in the next few months because he's doing some writing about it. He read a book, I guess it was, or talked to an expert somewhere that said, you know, we tell people get a will. Right. Why? Because if you don't get a will, the law tells you and the court system tells you what's going to happen.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's right. That's right. That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And this guy's argument to get a prenup was so intriguing. We had a great discussion about it the other day on the plane. This guy's argument was, you have a prenup because the law is there. The judge and the court's gonna. Just like with a will, they're gonna tell you what's gonna happen. But with a prenup, you decide. You decide what's gonna happen. And I've been so anti prenup over the years that that created a really interesting discussion. I'm still not gonna tell you to get a prenup. But it did. It didn't make me. It did frame it in a way I had never thought about it before.

[Jade Warshaw]

Which is you can pre decide while you're in your right mind.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Just like you do with a will.

[Jade Warshaw]

Without spite, without anger, without.

[Dave Ramsey]

Just like you do with a will. And then the judge doesn't tell you. The judge has to go along with what the prenup says. Judges, you know, if the prenups properly written, it can't be. The courts can't undo it. And so interesting. By and large, there's some movie scenes that tell you. But I mean, it's. I think of that one with Clooney. That's hilarious. But anyway, yeah, you pre decide what's gonna happen. Otherwise the law decides and the judge decides. That's the same thing we tell people to do with a will. Now the difference is you're gonna die and you might not get divorced.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's facts. That's facts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

There's a difference there. And you know, while dying is a spiritual decision, so is divorce.

[Jade Warshaw]

I think the divorce thing, it's like that forebod. It's almost like you're gonn self fulfilling prophecy.

[Dave Ramsey]

Exactly. That's the problem. You're planning something, and so you're aiming at it unintentionally. You spoke it.

[Advertisement Voice]

Yes.

[Jade Warshaw]

Because everybody dies. Everybody doesn't have to get divorced. Yeah, I get it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Exactly. Yeah. So that's. It's just interesting. I had never heard it framed that way, and it made me stop and think about prenups. I was a little lighter, a little calmer about it because I'm real anti prenup. I know. We had one lady called here on the show many years ago, said her fiance wanted to get a prenup because he had a 67 vintage Mustang. And I'm like, don't marry this guy. He loves his car more than you. Run, girl, run. And so, you know, that's the kind of crap I associate with prenups.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right. But the idea that two people, 20.

[Dave Ramsey]

Million bucks, and, you know, that's a lot.

[Jade Warshaw]

But even the idea that two people could sit down and say, hey, we're getting married. Let's do some planning. And if you decided together, here's in the unlikely event. It's like when you ride a plane and they go through the safety precautions.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jade Warshaw]

In the unlikely event of a water landing, a divorce landing, here's what we're gonna do.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

And then it's like, you've done it before. There's anger before there. I don't know. It's an interesting conversation for sure.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. I'm still not a fan. I'm still not gonna tell you to do it, but I will. I'm admitting here on the air that it made me stop and think about it.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm thinking about it now.

[Dave Ramsey]

A different framing to the whole prenup discussion.

[Jade Warshaw]

As I'm thinking about it, though, I'm also thinking, if Sam Warshaw came to me with this conversation, I'd be like.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, the door is that way. We'd be done, bud. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.