How Do You Build Wealth To Leave A Relationship?

Summary

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The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: How Do You Build Wealth To Leave A Relationship?
Date: February 14, 2026
Host: Dave Ramsey & Financial Coach
Guest: Sarah (caller)

Episode Overview

In this episode, Sarah calls in seeking practical advice on building financial stability to exit a four-year-long emotionally abusive relationship. Dave Ramsey and a Ramsey Network Financial Coach provide guidance focused on immediate safety, foundational financial steps, and navigating the logistics of leaving with limited resources.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Immediate Safety and Urgency

• Dave Ramsey immediately prioritizes safety:

  “Are you safe right now?” (00:22)

• Sarah clarifies there is no physical abuse, but the environment is toxic and growth-inhibiting.

• Hosts stress urgency:

  “I would not wait six months, Sarah. I would be gone by this weekend.” — Dave Ramsey (06:55)
  “You never know when people are going to shift into another gear. That's my thing.” — Financial Coach (08:13)

2. Short-Term Financial Steps vs. Long-Term Wealth Building

• Dave corrects the premise:

  “Wealth is like a 10, 20 year journey. …right now it's, hey, what is the next step I need to take? What is the minimum amount I need to leave this situation? We'll get to wealth later.” (01:05)

• Sarah details her current status:

  • $8,000 in savings (after paying off car and becoming debt free)
  • $17/hr income (approx. $2,300/month take-home)
  • Financial concerns over affording an apartment alone

• Coach distinguishes needs:

  “Wealth is different than I need first and last month's rent… Right now, cash is your friend. You need liquid money because you're trying to get a place.” (00:52, 02:47)

• On investing now:

  “No to your thing about investing right now, cash is your friend.” — Financial Coach (02:47)
  “I would not invest a dime… Right now we need some stability in a foundation.” — Dave Ramsey (06:28)

3. Housing Solutions

• Roommate as bridge solution:

  “That's what I'd be looking for. …this is just for you to get out of a toxic environment… and to get someplace where it's a split cost.” — Financial Coach (04:28)

• Sarah reveals lack of local support and roommate options; considering renting a room via Airbnb.

• Flexible options discussed:

  “If you rent a room on an Airbnb, you have a roommate… (But) you could easily move to someplace else versus a roommate, I guess you'd be locked in lease wise.” — Financial Coach (07:02)

• Budgeting for housing:

  “We don't want rent to go over, you know, 25, 30% of our take home pay… For you, that's a very low number at $2,300 a month.” — Financial Coach (07:20)
  “So talking like 600 bucks.” — Dave Ramsey (07:43)

4. Career & Income Upside

• Sarah currently a medical assistant; seeking new roles for better pay.

• Dave suggests lateral skill shifts:

  “A lot of your skills would transfer in the medical field to other assistant work… you could be an executive assistant and go make $70, 80 grand.” (03:40)

• Offers Ken Coleman’s “Find the Work You're Wired to Do” resource for career clarity and next steps.

5. Protective Measures and Independence

• Bank account security:

  “Do you have a separate bank account, separate from your partner?” — Dave Ramsey (06:01)

• Sarah confirms all finances are separate; partner does not have access.

6. Overcoming Hesitation & Justification

• Direct challenge to waiting:

  “Don't have some random arbitrary number. Once I have $12,000, then I'll feel comfortable. That's you justifying why you're going to stay in the situation. You need to be out.” — Dave Ramsey (08:17)

• Support for seeking external help:

  “If you need to call a hotline, you need to get in a women’s shelter. You do whatever you need to do to get out of that toxic situation.” — Dave Ramsey (08:23)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On urgency:

  “I would not wait six months, Sarah. I would be gone by this weekend.” — Dave Ramsey (06:55)

• On emotional decision-making:

  “It's so easy to tell yourself, well, it's not that bad and I can just wait another six months, I'll be okay.” — Dave Ramsey (08:02)

• On practical next steps:

  “Right now one emergency could… thank you. And now you have no money to build wealth with.” — Dave Ramsey (06:39)

• On budget targets:

  “We don't want rent to go over… 25, 30% of our take home pay.” — Financial Coach (07:20)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:14 – 01:43: Sarah’s situation and main financial concerns
• 02:26 – 03:15: Discussion of savings, income, feasibility of investing vs. keeping cash
• 03:24 – 04:16: Exploring career options and job market
• 04:27 – 05:28: Housing search, roommates, alternate options
• 06:28 – 07:55: Concrete financial steps, budgeting for stability, and rental affordability
• 08:13 – End: Emphasis on urgency to leave, breaking through rationalizations, offering moral support

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Takeaway

The panel emphasized putting immediate safety and short-term stability above ambitious wealth-building. Their actionable advice: focus on liquid savings, minimize housing costs (ideally under $600–700/mo), keep finances separate, seek support if needed, and prioritize getting out as soon as possible. Wealth-building is a subsequent step—first comes safety and independence.

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Tone:
Direct, compassionate, pragmatic, and encouraging—true to The Ramsey Show’s straightforward, people-first approach.

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For Listeners:
If you’re in a similar situation, the clear guidance is: get secure and stable first, even if it’s uncomfortable or less than ideal in the short term. Don’t let financial fears or moving the goalposts keep you trapped. Resources, tools, and support are out there.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Sarah]

How should I be investing to build wealth, but also to leave an abusive. An emotionally abusive relationship.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, gosh. How long has this been going on?

[Sarah]

This relationship has lasted going on four years.

[Dave Ramsey]

Are you safe right now?

[Sarah]

Yeah, absolutely. It's no, it's no physical abuse or any of that, but it's just too toxic for me to stay. I feel like I'm not evolving.

[Dave Ramsey]

Are you guys living together?

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Financial Coach]

Okay. So what's your timeline?

[Sarah]

On what?

[Financial Coach]

On exiting the premises.

[Sarah]

It's not like I would say I want to leave with definitely within the next, like six months, six to eight months.

[Financial Coach]

Okay. Tell me what you think. Tell me what's precluding you from going now? Because when you say how can I build wealth? Wealth is different than I need first and last month's rent to be able to get into my own apartment.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wealth is like a 10, 20 year journey. And so right now it's, hey, what is the next step I need to take? What is the minimum amount I need to leave this situation? We'll get to wealth later.

[Sarah]

My dilemma right now is I have, I did have roughly like $10,000 saved. I recently paid off my car and got rid absolutely all my debt.

[Financial Coach]

Awesome.

[Sarah]

I'm waiting on my title in the mail. I currently have about $8,000 left in my account.

[Financial Coach]

Okay.

[Sarah]

The reason I didn't my lease was up. The reason I moved in with him because I was. My income with at my job is quite low. I'm only make $17 an hour. So I was a little bit worried about getting an apartment just due to the requirements.

[Financial Coach]

Okay.

[Sarah]

And so I'm trying to figure out if I should be like investing with the $8,000, like maybe buying a quad plex.

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Sarah]

Like maybe buying a quad plex. No, living in one.

[Financial Coach]

Okay.

[Sarah]

Like, that's what I'm trying to figure out.

[Financial Coach]

Let me say this back to you. Let me make say this back to you. Make sure I've got it. So you've got zero debt at this point. You've got $8,000 cash, $17 per hour. What's that equate to a month? What do you bring in after taxes every month?

[Sarah]

I think around like, like $2300.

[Financial Coach]

Okay, so no to your thing about investing right now, cash is your friend. You need liquid money because you're trying to get a place. I would. In the $17 per hour, are you working 40 hours a week or are you part time? How many hours do you do?

[Sarah]

I work a little under 40. Maybe like 36 hours.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, and okay, what kind of work are you doing?

[Sarah]

Medical assistant.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so are you wanting to stay in that field?

[Sarah]

No, I'm currently looking for jobs to expand my income right now to hopefully like build my savings account.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, yeah, I'm saying are there, you know, the next step rung on the ladder in the medical world from assistant to X, Y, Z. Can you move up in the field and place that you're in right now, or is this it?

[Sarah]

No, that's it. I've tried.

[Dave Ramsey]

Do you know what? You know, I think a lot of your skills would transfer in the medical field to other assistant work because you could be an executive assistant and go make 70, 80 grand.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

So I don't want you to just limit yourself going, well, this is the only thing I can do. You've got to think about what skills can transfer. And I'll. I'm going to give you. Our friend Ken Coleman has a great tool and resource called find the work you're wired to do. And it comes with a get clear career assessment. And that will actually lay it all out for you. And so that will help you immensely. And then on top of that, do you have any community right now? Friends, family nearby?

[Sarah]

No, that's the problem. I don't. I don't have anyone to like, you know, stay at their house for a set amount of time or help me out in this situation. So it kind of was like this was kind of my only option.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I'm wondering, can you get a roommate?

[Financial Coach]

That's what I'd say. I'd be looking at rent in your area and what you can. And think about it through the lens of a roommate. It's like, okay, who can I split this with? Because I think if you can get a roommate, and I'm not saying you live like that forever, but this is just for you to get out of a toxic environment to your, to your own point and to get someplace where It's a split cost. That's what I'd be looking for. That's the research I do tonight. Have you done that, any research on apartments?

[Sarah]

I've already, I've already tried that option and yes, I have been looking for apartments. Honestly, the, the op. The roommate situation probably is unrealistic in my case. I don't have anybody. I was looking about renting a room like the Airbnb or something like that.

[Financial Coach]

And how much does that cost?

[Sarah]

I haven't gotten pranks yet. I was thinking about doing that as of today. That's why I'm like, maybe I should call first.

[Financial Coach]

Yeah, I think that's a good, that's a good starting point. See what it'll cost you. I mean, the cheaper, the better. Cheap and safer are the two things that you're looking for. And it's just you, right? Yes. Okay. Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

I know you don't have people close to you in your life, but I would jump on some local Facebook groups and you can see their photo, their name, and say, hey, can we meet at this coffee shop and, and see if this is a good fit? So I know it's a scary step, but it's a much safer step than the situation you're in right now. And the truth is you can't afford an apartment on your own.

[Sarah]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so that's the next step. And then we can work on the work and career piece to get that income up. But right now, 2,300 bucks, you can survive if you can split a two bedroom at 6, 7, 800 bucks.

[Financial Coach]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so that would be my next step is roommate followed by income. And do you have a separate bank account? Separate from your partner?

[Sarah]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, good. And they don't have access to it. They don't know your passwords, do they? Do you have, like, shared location services on, on your phone?

[Sarah]

No, no, I'm pretty good. I'm pretty clear to exit if I can figure out what I can afford. But I just wanted clarity on if I should be focusing on investing, and that should be my way to move out.

[Dave Ramsey]

I would not invest a dime. So in the steps you'd go, hey, I don't have any debt. Now I need a fully funded emergency fund of three to six months of expenses, and then I can begin investing. But right now we need some stability in a foundation. So you're, you're close. If you can get your income up and get in a safe situation with where you're staying and get the emergency fund. Now we're Cooking with gas. Now we have the recipe to build wealth. Because right now one emergency could. Thank you. And now you have no money to build wealth with. Okay, so you are, you're doing all the right things. I would not wait six months, Sarah. I would be gone by this weekend.

[Financial Coach]

Yeah. Once you find an Airbnb or once you find a roommate, in many ways I think your chances are better. Well, they're both the same thing. If you rent a room on an Airbnb, you have a roommate and this is somebody that you don't really know very well and you're up in their place. But the good news is you can, if it doesn't work out, you could easily move to someplace else versus a roommate. I guess you'd be locked in lease wise. So I kind of see what you're doing there. I think for you the ultimate thing is the price on it because tick, tick. Usually in order to make progress, we don't want rent to go over, you know, 25, 30% of our, of our take home pay for you. That's a very low number at 2300amonth.

[Dave Ramsey]

So talking like 600 bucks.

[Financial Coach]

Yeah. So you're, yeah, 600, 700 bucks range. Luckily you have no debt. Way to go on that. But that's what I'd be looking for if at all possible.

[Sarah]

Okay. Okay, gotcha. I understand. Thank you.

[Financial Coach]

You bet.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're welcome. I'm wishing you the best. Getting out of the situation Jade, when it comes to abusive situation, it's so easy to tell yourself, well, it's not that bad and I can just wait another six months, I'll be okay.

[Financial Coach]

And you never know when people are going to shift into another gear. That's my thing.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yes, you need to get out. And she's taking all the right steps on the financial side. She's got no debt, she has separate accounts from, from this partner. She's got some money in the bank. Now is the time to go. Don't have some random arbitrary number. Once I have $12,000, then I'll feel comfortable. That's you justifying why you're going to stay in the situation. You need to be out. And if you need to call a hotline, you need to get in a women's shelter. You do whatever you need to do to get out of that toxic situation. Sarah, we're rooting for you. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.