The Ramsey Show Highlights — Episode Summary

Episode Title: I Can't Get Access To The Prenup I Signed
Date: August 23, 2025
Host(s): John Delony & Ken Coleman
Guest: Sarah (caller)
Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights (Ramsey Network)

Main Theme / Purpose

In this poignant episode, the focus centers on Sarah, a 50-year-old stay-at-home mom seeking guidance on how to "financially exit" her deeply troubled marriage. She reveals she signed a prenuptial agreement she cannot access, her husband controls all finances, and she feels emotionally trapped. The hosts provide empathetic advice on legal rights, financial realities, and family dynamics when facing financial abuse and a controlling spouse.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sarah’s Situation: Financial and Emotional Control

• Sarah describes being married since 2001, now age 50, with a retired husband in his mid-60s, and having no access to household finances.
• She signed a prenup she’s never seen again; her husband keeps the only key to vital documents on him at all times.
• Emphasizes the lack of relationship: "There is no laughter between my husband and I. There is no relationship. He is not my friend and I am not his." (Sarah, 05:22)

2. Legal Rights Regarding the Prenup and Financial Records

• [01:04] John Delony: “You do have legal rights to see the prenup that you sign because it's your prenup too.”
• John clarifies that, legally, Sarah should have access to her prenup and that her situation is not just controlling but also abusive.
• Ken and John explain the attorney’s process: with a non-cooperative spouse, the legal system can force disclosure, potentially involving forensic accountants if necessary.*
• “If somebody wants to be controlling and abusive like that...you’re in control. And by the way, a prenup will talk about pre-existing assets. It won't mean that you don't get a big chunk of what he has earned while y’all are married.” (John, 02:37)

3. Abuse Recognition & Emotional Support

• Both hosts explicitly label Sarah's situation as emotionally (but not physically) abusive, emphasizing how financial control often correlates with broader abuse.
• Ken acknowledges the depth of Sarah’s predicament: “You’re in a prison. You’re in a financial and emotional prison.” (Ken, 06:53)
• Sarah admits there is substantial tension in the home, confirmed by her children.

4. Challenges in Taking Legal Steps and Impact on Children

• The main barrier for Sarah is fear of her children’s reaction to potential divorce.
  • “My kids will hate me.” (Sarah, 04:50)
  • John assures her: “They won't, because they live in this mess, too.” (John, 04:52)
• John frames the challenge for Sarah: “I don't want you to use an imagined response from your children as the excuse to not go do what's the next right, scary, hard thing for you. And there's a reason we don't let teenagers vote and buy beer...they're full of feelings.” (John, 05:38)
• Hosts encourage Sarah to focus on her and her children’s well-being, underscoring that the entire household is experiencing the tension.

5. Practical Next Steps & Reframing

• Legal: John advises her to return to her attorney, be transparent about why she cannot access documents, and let formal legal procedures take over.
• Personal: Both hosts encourage Sarah to consider separation not only for herself but for her children, offering reassurance: “And that means your kids are too [in a prison].” (John, 06:58)
• Support: John references supportive networks and attorneys experienced in helping women in these situations, emphasizing hope and resources exist.

6. Insight into the Husband’s Behavior

• John characterizes Sarah's husband as demonstrating classic narcissistic behaviors: “This sounds like a true narcissist...somebody who carries a key, that's a power play. That's a flex.” (John, 08:49)
• Sarah shares her husband is goal-driven, focusing currently on funding the children’s college — but remains emotionally distant and controlling.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You're in a very abusive situation. And you know this, right?”
  — John Delony, [01:27]

• “If somebody wants to be controlling and abusive like that, you're...you're in control. And by the way, a prenup will talk about pre-existing assets. It won't mean that you don't get a big chunk of what he has earned while y' all are married.”
  — John Delony, [02:37]

• “You’re in a prison. You’re in a financial and emotional prison.”
  — Ken Coleman, [06:53]

• “I don't want you to use an imagined response from your children as the excuse to not go do what's the next right, scary, hard thing for you.”
  — John Delony, [05:38]

• “There is no laughter between my husband and I. There is no relationship. He is not my friend and I am not his.”
  — Sarah, [05:22]

• “This sounds like a true narcissist...somebody who carries a key, that's a power play. That's a flex.”
  — John Delony, [08:49]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:09 — 01:32: Sarah describes her marriage, financial control, lack of access to prenup and all finances.
• 01:32 — 02:54: Hosts clarify Sarah’s legal rights, court processes, and what a prenup typically covers.
• 04:41 — 05:38: Emotional impact on Sarah and her children, John’s advice to not let imagined reactions prevent necessary steps.
• 06:20 — 06:58: Ken and John affirm Sarah's suffering and the urgent need to act, framing her situation as a “prison.”
• 08:35 — 08:49: John identifies narcissistic behaviors in Sarah’s husband and points toward specialized legal help.

Conclusion

This episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights provides a compassionate and practical roadmap for listeners facing financial and emotional abuse in marriage. John Delony and Ken Coleman emphasize the law is on Sarah's side, urge her to prioritize her and her children’s well-being, and remind her she is not alone. The advice is delivered with empathy, candor, and a strong call to action for anyone in a similar situation.

Listeners concerned about controlling or abusive relationships are encouraged to speak with a trusted attorney and reach out to local resources for support.