I Committed To A Bachelorette Trip, But I Can't Afford It

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: I Committed To A Bachelorette Trip, But I Can't Afford It
Release Date: June 8, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network (Featuring Dave Ramsey & Ken Coleman)

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Introduction

In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, Serenity reaches out seeking financial advice regarding her commitment to a bachelorette trip that strains her budget. Hosted by financial expert Dave Ramsey and guest Ken Coleman, the episode delves into managing social obligations while adhering to personal financial goals.

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Caller’s Dilemma: Serenity’s Bachelorette Trip

Serenity's Situation:
Serenity explains that her best friend, an engineer earning six figures, has planned a bachelorette trip with activities costing at least $150 each. Serenity has already paid for her flight and hotel, totaling approximately $700, leaving her with only $400 for a three-day weekend. She is conflicted about how to communicate her financial constraints to her friend without diminishing the experience.

Notable Quote:

Serenity [00:06]: "My best friend has itinerary for her bachelorette party, but it's outside of my budget and I don't know how to tell her that."

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Initial Responses: Assessing the Situation

Dave Ramsey:
Dave begins by probing Serenity to understand the full scope of the trip's expenses. He emphasizes the importance of knowing the total cost to provide effective advice.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey [00:29]: "What do you estimate the total trip gonna cost you?"

Ken Coleman:
Ken highlights that Serenity has already committed financially by purchasing non-refundable flights and hotel accommodations, indicating she's already invested in the trip.

Notable Quote:

Ken Coleman [00:20]: "So every activity is at least $150."

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Financial Breakdown: Understanding the Budget

Expenses Detailed:
Serenity has spent $350 each on flight and hotel, totaling $700. With $400 remaining for the weekend, she anticipates spending up to $650 if she participates in all planned activities.

Notable Quote:

Serenity [03:05]: "Honestly, if I was to do everything on itinerary, I'll be spending about 650."

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Strategies and Solutions: Balancing Finances and Social Commitments

Budget Adjustment:
Dave advises Serenity to limit her participation to two events at $150 each, keeping her total spending within the $400 budget. This approach allows her to engage without overextending financially.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey [03:26]: "Okay, you have 400 to spend. I'm saying I'm trying to help her with a reality...you can do two events."

Communication Tactics:
Ken suggests that Serenity communicate her budget constraints honestly yet tactfully. He encourages leveraging friendships within the group to navigate expenses together, such as sharing dishes to reduce individual costs.

Notable Quote:

Ken Coleman [05:58]: "This is where you call up the friend that whenever something happens, y’all just look at each other like this."

Creative Solutions:
Dave introduces the idea of stretching the budget by selecting less costly options like choosing salads or soups over pricier menu items, subtly managing spending without drawing attention.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey [05:54]: "I'm looking at the menu and I'm... Hey, J, do you want to split a salad?"

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Handling Relationship Dynamics: Maintaining Friendships

Transparent Communication:
Dave emphasizes the importance of maintaining honesty with her friend while setting financial boundaries. He suggests Serenity could explain her goal of getting out of debt, framing her participation within her means.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey [04:28]: "You can tell her, hey, listen, I'm getting out of debt."

Social Harmony:
Ken and Dave both acknowledge the social pressures of group events and encourage Serenity to seek support from friends who may feel similarly, fostering a collective approach to budgeting.

Notable Quote:

Ken Coleman [07:57]: "Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life."

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Recommended Actions: Steps Forward for Serenity

1. Limit Event Participation:

   • Attend only two of the planned activities to stay within the $400 budget.

2. Communicate Clearly:

   • Transparently discuss financial limits with the best friend, emphasizing the importance of supporting her without financial strain.

3. Seek Peer Support:

   • Engage with other attendees to share costs and find mutually agreeable spending strategies.

4. Creative Spending:

   • Opt for more affordable meal options and activities that align with her budget.

5. Alternative Contributions:

   • Consider non-monetary ways to contribute to the trip, such as organizing activities or providing support in other forms.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey [06:25]: "Don't tell her to tell a lie now...you're just creating some harmony."

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Conclusion: Balancing Social Life and Financial Health

The episode underscores the importance of aligning social engagements with personal financial goals. Through Serenity’s case, Dave Ramsey and Ken Coleman provide actionable advice on setting boundaries, effective communication, and creative budgeting to ensure financial well-being without sacrificing meaningful friendships.

Final Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey [07:54]: "You got to be a friend. Got to be a friend."

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Key Takeaways

• Assess Total Costs: Always understand the full financial commitment before agreeing to social events.
• Set Clear Budgets: Allocate a specific amount for festivities to prevent overspending.
• Communicate Transparently: Share financial boundaries with friends to maintain honesty and understanding.
• Seek Collective Solutions: Collaborate with others to find cost-effective ways to enjoy group activities.
• Prioritize Financial Goals: Ensure that social commitments do not derail long-term financial objectives.

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This episode serves as a valuable resource for listeners facing similar dilemmas, offering practical strategies to navigate financial constraints while honoring social relationships.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Serenity]

Okay, so my best friend has itinerary for her bachelorette party, but it's outside of my budget and I don't know how to tell her that.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much outside the budget?

[Serenity]

So she's an engineer, she makes six figures. So every activity is at least $150.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you ask? What do you estimate the total trip gonna cost you?

[Serenity]

The total. I've already paid for the flight and I already bought the hotel and I didn't want to spend any more than I spent on the hotel flight. So I have about 400 for a three day weekend.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, it sounds like you're in it now, Serenity. You bought the flights and you bought the hotel.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Are they refundable?

[Serenity]

No, they're not. No, they're not.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, man. So now you're going to be at the restaurant just eating the chips and drinking water is what you're saying.

[Dave Ramsey]

Are you in the wedding? Presumably.

[Serenity]

So it's just gonna be her siblings in the wedding.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, listen, here we go. Now. You and I went viral one time before talking about one of these type of trips.

[Ken Coleman]

It's so I. Listen, I feel as though. Can I just. Serenity, give me a moment to just rant for a minute because I'm sure you're your bestie, like she's your friend and everything like that. But I do feel like it can be a little tone deaf to have these big bachelorette trips. You already. If you're already in the Datgum wedding, you already have to get a dress or a tuxedo and then don't let it be a destination.

[Dave Ramsey]

Not in the wedding. Did you catch that?

[Ken Coleman]

You're not in the wedding at all.

[Serenity]

No, no, just the siblings are just going to be in the wedding.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And shoot. Now let me. So this is great. Let me get a little more information because I knew she was about ready to rent. I was. So you've paid for the hotel and the airfare and if I heard you right, you have $400 of spending money for this weekend. Three day weekend. Correct, Correct.

[Ken Coleman]

But how much did you spend on the flight in hotels so far?

[Serenity]

They were about 350 each. 350 for the hotel. 350 girl.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, so what's the prequel so.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, I mean, why get into it? Do you have debt? It's like clearly this is bothering you. Is it because you have other financial goals and this is really just.

[Serenity]

Yes. Sticking in your crawl for her and. Yes. I just wanted to show up for her, you know? Can you hear me?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Is there anything happening that's not 150 every time they go do it? Like, is there some. Is there like. No.

[Serenity]

And I was gonna suggest it, but I don't know if that takes away from her moment, you know, how many.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, sorry. I'm asking a few more questions. How many events does she have scheduled, and what would that cost you? I'm trying to be real here. At 150 per pop. How many things she have scheduled, and what's that going to cost you?

[Ken Coleman]

Ken, I'm busting.

[Dave Ramsey]

I know you are, but you're gonna bust too soon on this deal. I gotta get some information. Well, how much are we talking about Serenity?

[Serenity]

Honestly, if I was to do everything on itinerary, I'll be spending about 650.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, you have 400 to spend. I'm saying I'm trying to help her with a reality. I know you're upset that she's even going, but my point is, see, this is how we went viral before. I'm. I'm trying to help her in the moment. So. In the moment, okay. You can do two events.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's all you can do. You got two events at 150, that leaves you a little hundred dollars. And you come up with a headache on a couple of these deals.

[Ken Coleman]

I don't think it's too late to not go.

[Dave Ramsey]

She can't get refunded.

[Ken Coleman]

Here's the thing. Usually if I spend it, I'm gonna spend it. Usually with the hotel. If you go back, as long as it's more than 24 hours notice, usually.

[Dave Ramsey]

You can get that back, but she said she couldn't. So let's clarify. Serenity. Did you go to the. You know.

[Ken Coleman]

You know for sure?

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, that's what I'm saying. So now, here's the deal. I'm always thinking about the big picture, all right? This isn't just a money play. So she wants to be a part of this weekend.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Special lady in her life, longtime friend. I say go. And you budget the 400. You got 400.

[Ken Coleman]

I mean, you can only spend 400.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you can have a 400 worth of fun or bachelorette activities. Am I right?

[Serenity]

Okay. Yeah. That's reasonable.

[Dave Ramsey]

And here's. You have two options. You tell her, hey, listen, I'm getting out of debt.

[Ken Coleman]

And so you can't tell her that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure she can. She can speak straight up and go, Look, I've got 400 to spend. I'm gonna come to this outing. And I'm gonna come to this outing. I can't do the rest. I said she has options. She didn't have to do that.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm not suggesting she does that, but I don't know their relationship or, you.

[Ken Coleman]

Know, what she didn't get in the wedding.

[Dave Ramsey]

We've all. I'm going to be real straight up right now. We've all been to a thing where we didn't want to do all the things.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And we go, I got a headache or my stomach doesn't feel very good right now. I mean, come on. I think it calls for that because we want it. You're there. She feels loved and supported. You don't want to feel ostracized for your being Ramsey Cash.

[Ken Coleman]

What are the activities? Are you allowed to tell us or does it involve.

[Serenity]

So it's basically like the biggest things on the list are just dinner and brunch.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. So I feel like you can.

[Serenity]

Everything on the menu is like maybe minimum, $40. Minimum.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, now I can get around that.

[Ken Coleman]

Right?

[Dave Ramsey]

That's where you like. You make a couple friends, you know. Any other girls going on this trip?

[Ken Coleman]

There you go, Ken.

[Dave Ramsey]

You see where I'm going?

[Serenity]

It's a group.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hey, but you know the girl, so.

[Ken Coleman]

You'Re not the only one feeling this.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm telling you what I'm saying. I'm sitting here like this. I'm looking at the menu and I'm. And I'm. I'm going to. Hey, J, do you want to split a salad?

[Ken Coleman]

Uh huh. This is where you call up the friend that whenever something happens, y' all just look at each other like this. You don't have to say anything. You just look like you call up that friend.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

And say, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

[Dave Ramsey]

I spend a $40 girl.

[Ken Coleman]

Exactly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Or however it is you all talk to each other. That's my best impersonation.

[Ken Coleman]

That just. That girl, have you looked at this menu? Because I am not the one. I am not going. How can we make this work? You and me, let's get together. Because I'm only trying to spend $400. That's how we're doing this.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, Caesar salad, soup.

[Ken Coleman]

Yep.

[Dave Ramsey]

I could stretch $400. You know, you don't want to go to brunch. How come you're not coming to brunch?

[Ken Coleman]

We're not ordering alcohol, unfortunately.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, I got to get my TPS reports in. You know, I had to leave work. You know, I mean, come on.

[Ken Coleman]

Don't tell her to tell a lie now. Can. Come on.

[Dave Ramsey]

Now, see, I don't think that's lying. I think that is just socially kind of. We're just creating some harmony. I don't want to come to everything. Don't tell me you've. You've skipped out on some invite. I bet you Stacy and I've invited you and Sam, and you gave me a little excuse at once or twice. You never giving me an excuse.

[Ken Coleman]

I would never do that to you.

[Dave Ramsey]

But you've done it before.

[Ken Coleman]

I've done it before.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right. I think we could call that a little white lie. That doesn't hurt anybody.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, yeah, but I like the idea. Yeah. You get together real. The other bestie, the other one of you that's not in the wedding, and y' all make it happen. Because guaranteed, stuff like this, we think, you know, we're isolated. We think we're the only one. And I promise you, yeah, somebody else is feeling like you're feeling.

[Dave Ramsey]

By the way, Serenity, since I'm so full of helpful tips on this call, I'm feeling pretty, pretty, pretty good right now. How long do we have before we go on this trip?

[Serenity]

It's next week.

[Dave Ramsey]

Next week? Okay. I'm gonna sell 2 or 300 worth of stuff around my house that I don't need.

[Ken Coleman]

No.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yes.

[Ken Coleman]

I am not selling my stuff to go to your wedding. Like, that's not period.

[Dave Ramsey]

I would.

[Ken Coleman]

Ken, you're trying to please too many people out here.

[Dave Ramsey]

What'd you say? Serenity. Say it again.

[Serenity]

I could side hustle. Side hustle for the money.

[Dave Ramsey]

Then we make everybody happy. And we don't go backwards in our baby steps journey. Jade, you're too cheap. You got to be a friend. Got to be a friend.

[Ken Coleman]

Got to go a one $200 friend. I still got to get the gift.

[Dave Ramsey]

Ken. 600 max.

[Ken Coleman]

I still got to get the gift.

[Dave Ramsey]

Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.