I Cosigned My Ex’s Motorcycle And He Disappeared

Summary

Episode Summary: "I Cosigned My Ex’s Motorcycle And He Disappeared"

Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Date: January 20, 2026
Hosts: Dave Ramsey & George Kamel
Guest: Annie

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Main Theme

This episode centers on the financial and emotional consequences of co-signing a loan with a now-absent ex-boyfriend. Annie, the caller, seeks advice after being left solely responsible for a $10,000 motorcycle debt when her ex disappeared. The conversation evolves into a broader discussion about managing household finances, debt, and marital money dynamics.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Fallout of Co-signing

• Annie's Situation: Years ago, Annie co-signed a motorcycle loan with her then-boyfriend. She sold her bike, but he hasn’t made payments on his, and she has no idea where he or the motorcycle is.
  • "I had an ex boyfriend years, about five, six years ago. And we got motorcycles. I sold mine. But we co-signed for each other...he hasn't made a payment. I don't care about my credit. But they keep calling and they're like, it's a binding contract." (Annie, 00:06)
• Legal Reality: Dave underscores the gravity of co-signing, emphasizing that Annie is fully responsible for the debt regardless of her ex's actions or whereabouts.
  • "It doesn't matter where that motorcycle is, and it doesn't matter if he's dead or alive. You owe that debt. That is exactly what co-signing is." (Dave, 00:44)

2. Annie's Financial Picture

• Current Income & Expenses:
  • Annie is retired with a monthly income of $1,600 from her pension, not enough to cover her bills. She relies on her husband’s additional $3,000/month, though their finances are not truly combined (01:36–03:15).
• Additional Debts: Annie estimates around $20,000 in total debt, including the motorcycle and several credit cards (04:23–04:40).

3. Marital Finance Dynamics

• Money Management: Annie manages the household bills, while her husband contributes his income to her account, but they maintain some financial separation.
  • "I take care of the bills and he just puts money in my account, so I take care of all the bills." (Annie, 03:01)
• Advice on Alignment: George and Dave advise Annie to seek greater financial unity with her husband, starting with open communication and honest inventories of their finances.
  • “I would really love for us to get aligned financially. I would love to be in a situation where what’s yours is mine and mine is yours. And that we really are a unit on this.” (George, 04:44)

4. Practical Steps for Moving Forward

• Immediate Actions:
  • Have an open, non-confrontational finance discussion with her husband.
  • Begin by journaling all debts and accounts, and invite her husband to add his items—aiming for transparency and teamwork.
  • Use the EveryDollar app to build a joint budget and create a get-out-of-debt plan.
• Dealing with the Motorcycle Loan:
  • Accept the remaining debt as her responsibility and add it to her list; ignore the ex and focus on her own recovery (07:16–07:59).
  • Explore settling the debt with the lender for less than the full amount since it’s a very old loan (07:59).
    • "If you can scratch up $3,000 and call him, say, hey, listen, I don't know where this guy is. I don't know where the bike is. He's an ex. I'll give you three grand if you can call this debt paid in full and clear from your credit and move on with your life, emotionally and financially." (Dave, 07:59)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Why Co-signing Is So Risky:
  • "That is exactly what co-signing is. It's you taking on that debt because they don't trust him to pay. And I think they were wise." (Dave, 00:44)
• Financial Intimacy in Marriage:
  • “Tonight is just the night to say here’s what I’m afraid of, here’s what I’ve been feeling, and here’s…I would just like to have this intimacy with you where we’re one on one with our, with our money.” (George, 04:44)
• Let the Ex Go:
  • "This is a mistake I made. This was the part I played. Forget all about him because he's somewhere eating a sandwich. He is not thinking about you, and he clearly doesn't care about his finances." (George, 07:16)
• Hope and Encouragement:
  • "We're rooting for you, Annie. Hang on the line. We're going to get you hooked up with EveryDollar." (Dave, 07:59)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [00:06] – Annie explains her situation and the vanished ex.
• [00:44] – Dave emphasizes the legal implications of co-signing.
• [01:20] - [03:15] – Annie and hosts discuss current finances and household budgeting methods.
• [04:23] – Annie reveals the true extent of her debts.
• [04:44] – George lays out step-by-step advice for financial teamwork in marriage.
• [07:16] – George and Dave provide actionable, emotional closure and practical advice about the old motorcycle debt.
• [07:59] – Dave suggests settling the debt for less, if possible.

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Tone and Language

The episode is empathetic, practical, and direct—balancing tough financial truths with encouragement. The hosts encourage Annie (and listeners) not to dwell on past mistakes but to take clear, stepwise action toward financial freedom and marital unity.

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Actionable Takeaways

• Never co-sign a loan unless you're willing and able to repay it in full yourself.
• In relationships, strive for budgeting transparency and teamwork—financial intimacy is key.
• When facing overwhelming debt, take an inventory, prioritize, and seek settlements when possible, especially for old debts.
• Use tools like the EveryDollar app to guide step-by-step budgeting.
• Let go of resentment toward individuals who’ve abandoned their obligations; instead, focus on controlling your next steps.

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For listeners in a similar predicament, this episode provides both a wake-up call about the risks of co-signing and a roadmap to regaining financial control, with a strong focus on partnership and practical budgeting.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Annie]

I had an ex boyfriend years about five, six years ago. And we got motorcycles. I sold mine. But we co. Signed for each other, and that's true love. Yeah, right. But anyway, he hasn't made a payment. I don't care about my credit. But they keep calling and they're like, it's a binding contract. So my question is, what do I do? I haven't seen the bike in over four or five years. I don't know if he's alive or dead. And they've came to my house and checked, you know, it ain't there.

[Dave Ramsey]

They went to come repo it, and it wasn't there.

[Annie]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Okay, here's. Here's the bad news, Annie. It doesn't matter where that motorcycle is, and it doesn't matter if he's dead. Dead or alive. You owe that debt. That's. That is exactly what co signing is. It's you taking on that debt because they don't trust him to pay. And I think they were wise.

[George]

How much is it?

[Annie]

Okay, it's like about $10,000.

[George]

Yikes. And what about your bike? Have you since paid yours off or. What happened? The one that. That. That you guys co signed together, that you. That you drove.

[Annie]

Oh, I sold mine.

[George]

So yours has been gone.

[Dave Ramsey]

Where are you at financially? Do you have any other debts? Do you have money in savings?

[Annie]

No, I don't have any money in savings. I've been retired for a year and I'm trying to go back to work right now, so I'm barely making my bills, and I can't afford to make that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Where's your income coming from?

[Annie]

Retirement?

[Dave Ramsey]

Like a 401k Social Security?

[Annie]

No, I work. Work for TVC.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you have like, a pension?

[Annie]

Yes, sir. Evidently. Yes. Okay, so, yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

So what is your monthly income as it stands without you going to work like 1600. And what are your monthly bills add up to? More than 1600. Tax season is coming up fast, which means a lot of you are paying more attention to your money and maybe realizing the holiday damage. So if you're trying to clean up the budget and start the year strong, cutting your phone bill is an easy win. With Boost Mobile. Keep the phone you love and pay just 25 bucks a month for unlimited data. Talk and text forever. No contracts, no traps. Just predictable savings that help you stay in control. Switch now@boost mobile.com Ramsey restrictions apply. See website for details. More than 1600?

[Annie]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so are you floating the gap with credit cards?

[Annie]

No, actually I'm married, so. Yeah, I got married. So that's how we do it together.

[George]

Okay, what's he make every single month?

[Annie]

Probably about. Eighteen. About 3,000.

[George]

Okay. And I don't know, I'm guessing based on the way you're talking, but are you guys combined money or are you separate?

[Annie]

I take care of the bills and he just puts money in my account, so I take care of all the bills. So he takes care of what, like his truck and stuff?

[George]

So you're separate? For all intents and purposes. It doesn't sound like.

[Dave Ramsey]

Does he have savings?

[Annie]

No.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, well, the best way to do this would be combining your money together to go. Okay, how are we going to make a plan to pay this old debt off now? I don't know if he's willing to do that. And it sounds like he doesn't have the ability because he's broke, too, and he's got a truck payment of his own.

[Annie]

No, his truck is paid off. We're trying to get him another truck. So I'm trying to go back to work because his truck is actually broke down and we're trying to fix it.

[Dave Ramsey]

So. Trying to pay for the repair or you're about to go buy a brand new truck with payments you don't have any money.

[Annie]

Right, right. Well, that's why I need to go to work is so that way we'll have more money on top of that. But his truck is old and he's. Well, he's trying to fix it. So right now that's what our goal is to fix.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I think work is a great place to go right now to make more money to get us out of all of this. And the motorcycle, this old motorcycle debt, that's just part of the bigger picture that we need to clean up. What other debts do you have?

[Annie]

I have a couple of credit cards. My Debt's probably about 10,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, you got 10,000 just on the motorcycle.

[Annie]

No. No. Yeah, but I'm talking about. Yes, I guess you got 20,000. I guess 20. About 20,000.

[George]

Okay, so here's what I hear and here's a couple of. I just want to bullet point this so that you have clear homework for tonight. First things first, is tonight it's. It's Friday night here. I know some of you might listen, not listen to this till Monday, but I want you to go out either on a date or tell your husband. Tonight is date night at the house. And over dinner, I want you to say, I've really been thinking And I don't feel peace about our finances. I feel stress. I feel like we're disconnected. And I would really love for us to get aligned financially. I would love to be in a situation where what's yours is mine and mine is yours. And that we really are a unit on this. And I want you to open up the lines of communication on that. So tonight's not the night to, to create a plan to pay off debt. Tonight is not the night to say it's time to sell a vehicle. Tonight is just the night to say here's, here's what I'm afraid of, here's what I've been feeling, and here's. I would just like to have this intimacy with you where we're one on one with our, with our money. Right. For you in your own time. Until the next meeting that you're going to have with your husband. I want you to start writing down debt. Here's all the debt, here's all my money. And then the next meeting with him, I want you to go with him and say, I started writing things down. Here's what I started writing down. Slide it over there and say, is there anything you want to add to this list? Because I'm just trying to get my head around this, right? And, and keep that conversation going. That's thing one and thing two. And then you guys can start to get your head around this. We're going to give you every dollar before you get off the phone. Because the truth is George and I can only talk to you for so long and you're going to need something and someone to walk with you and every dollar is going to do that. It'll be like you have George in your pocket. And so that's the key to this. Every dollar is going to ask questions about you. You're going to answer it and then it's going to tell you the next right step. And in this case, George was right. Money coming in, so income coming in, you getting another job, that's going to be so key. But then after you've done the budget, you're going to realize, are there some things that we can cut out? What percentage of our take home pay is, is our, our rent or our mortgage, Right. You're going to see things that might need to shift and all that needs to be done together with your spouse. And, and I personally. Call us back. Like call us back and tell us how it goes. Because there are several steps to this. I would never want you to think it was a light switch that was Supposed to happen in one conversation or in one phone call to our show. So keep walking down the road. Don't get discouraged. There's going to be several steps to this, but just take the next right step.

[Annie]

So. So what's the answer? Even though I don't know where the bike is, haven't seen it in five.

[George]

Years, you got to stack up the money. You have to, at this point, assume it as your debt. Forget he ever even existed because your name is on it. And legally, that's all they see if they can't find him. Your name is on it and you will feel it. It will. If it doesn't get paid, your credit is going to get destroyed. It's going to keep you from doing the things you want to do. So add it to the list of debts. The best thing that you can do in this situation mentally and emotionally, is say, you know what? This is a mistake I made. This was the part I played. Forget all about him because he's somewhere eating a sandwich. He is not thinking about you, and he clearly doesn't care about, you know, clearly doesn't care about his finances. So you pay it. Don't spend another ounce of energy thinking about him because it's just wasted mental calories and emotional calories.

[Dave Ramsey]

And because the debt is, you know, six years old, they might be willing to settle. If you can scratch up $3,000 and call him, say, hey, listen, I don't know where this guy is. I don't know where the bike is. He's an ex. I'll give you three grand if you can call this debt paid in full and clear from your credit and move on with your life, emotionally and financially. We're rooting for you, Annie. Hang on the line. We're going to get you hooked up with every dollar. Create your free everydollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.