I Don’t Have Any Debt, but My Wife Does

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights – "I Don’t Have Any Debt, but My Wife Does"

Episode Overview Title: I Don’t Have Any Debt, but My Wife Does
Host/Author: Ramsey Network
Release Date: February 4, 2025
Description: In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, the Ramsey Network delves into a caller’s financial dilemma where he is debt-free, but his wife carries significant debt. With insights from financial experts like Dave Ramsey and John Delony, the discussion centers on managing unexpected financial strains, fostering financial unity in a marriage, and strategic budgeting to secure a debt-free future.

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Introduction to the Caller’s Situation

At the outset, a caller reaches out seeking guidance on his financial predicament. Despite being debt-free himself and having a savings of $14,000, his wife has incurred substantial debt from a recent car purchase. The couple has moved back in with the caller’s father to save money, especially with their new baby on the way.

• Caller’s Financial Status:
  • Savings: $14,000
  • Debt: None (caller), $32,936 car loan (wife)
  • Income: Approximately $80,000 annually combined

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Identifying the Problem: Financial Infidelity

Dave Ramsey initiates the conversation by probing into the caller’s debt situation, uncovering that while the caller is debt-free, his wife has a hefty car loan. This revelation leads John Delony to label the situation as financial infidelity, a critical breach in the couple’s financial trust.

• Key Quote:
  • John Delony (02:25): “In our world, we call that financial infidelity.”

Discussion Points:

• Financial Transparency: The importance of both partners being open about financial decisions.
• Impact on Marriage: How unexpected debt can strain the partnership and future plans.

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Assessing the Car Purchase

The wife purchased a $32,000 car without prior discussion, placing the family in a difficult financial position. The car is now worth approximately $26,000, leaving the loan significantly upside down.

• Details:
  • Car Cost: $36,000–$37,000 (including down payment)
  • Current Loan Balance: $32,936
  • Car’s Current Value: $26,000
  • Monthly Payment: Nearly $1,000

Experts’ Recommendations:

• Sell the Vehicle: John Delony urges selling the car immediately to minimize financial damage.

  • John Delony (05:17): “Do it. Pay it right now.”

• Purchase a Used Car: Transition to a more affordable, used vehicle to reduce monthly expenses.

  • Dave Ramsey (06:19): “Go get a four thousand dollar used car right now to get out of this mess.”

Key Quote:

• Dave Ramsey (06:02): “I would look at what the private party value is and try to get top dollar for this and be as little upside down as possible.”

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Building Financial Unity

The episode emphasizes the necessity of financial unity between spouses. Both partners should align their financial goals, share bank accounts, and make joint decisions to foster a stable financial environment.

• Strategies for Unity:
  • Shared Bank Account: Combining finances to create a cohesive budget.
  • Common Goals: Collaborating on financial planning for the family’s future.
  • Open Communication: Regular discussions about spending, saving, and financial priorities.

Key Quote:

• John Delony (04:40): “You have to get united on how much do we owe. We're going to share a bank account. There's not your money and my money, it's our money.”

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Strategic Budgeting and Future Planning

With the imminent arrival of their baby, the caller and his wife must prioritize budgeting to ensure financial stability. The experts advise leveraging the current savings to cover debts and building a fully funded emergency fund.

• Action Steps:
  • Sell the Upside-Down Car: Use the savings to cover the difference and eliminate the high monthly payment.
  • Purchase an Affordable Vehicle: Opt for a reliable used car to minimize expenses.
  • Emergency Fund: Continue building savings to cover future unforeseen expenses.

Inspirational Guidance:

• Dave Ramsey (07:25): “So your job is not to convince her that she needs to sell her car. She made a giant mistake. Your job is to give her a vision for what the future is going to look like.”

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Embracing a Debt-Free Future

The episode concludes with a motivational outlook on achieving a debt-free life. By addressing current financial missteps and uniting as a couple, the caller and his wife can ensure a secure and prosperous future for their growing family.

• Final Advice:
  • Reset Financial Goals: Use the upcoming baby as a catalyst to re-evaluate and reset financial priorities.
  • Debt Elimination: Focus on paying off existing debts to build a strong financial foundation.
  • Long-Term Planning: Invest in their future by saving and avoiding unnecessary debts.

Closing Quote:

• John Delony (07:56): “Don’t buy a trailer. Go get an apartment that you all can rent. You all can save up for a down payment on your own small starter.”

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Conclusion

In this episode, The Ramsey Show Highlights provides invaluable insights into managing unexpected financial challenges within a marriage. By addressing issues of financial infidelity, promoting financial unity, and offering strategic budgeting advice, Dave Ramsey and John Delony guide listeners towards a path of financial stability and prosperity. The emphasis on communication, transparency, and joint financial planning serves as a crucial lesson for couples navigating similar financial landscapes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• John Delony (02:25): “In our world, we call that financial infidelity.”
• Dave Ramsey (06:02): “I would look at what the private party value is and try to get top dollar for this and be as little upside down as possible.”
• John Delony (04:40): “You have to get united on how much do we owe. We're going to share a bank account. There's not your money and my money, it's our money.”
• Dave Ramsey (07:25): “So your job is not to convince her that she needs to sell her car. She made a giant mistake. Your job is to give her a vision for what the future is going to look like.”
• John Delony (07:56): “Don’t buy a trailer. Go get an apartment that you all can rent. You all can save up for a down payment on your own small starter.”

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This comprehensive summary encapsulates the key discussions, insights, and conclusions from the episode, providing a clear and engaging overview for those who haven't listened to the podcast.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Caller]

So I'm kind of lost financially. I'm not really too sure what to do. I'm in a good spot, but I'd like to see if y'all are in my shoes. How would you. What would you do in the future? Coming up.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, lay it out.

[Caller]

So me and my wife previously had a home. Then we. We actually just moved back in with my dad. He. He's not charges anything. He just wants us to save money. I currently have 14,000 in my bank account. We got a little surprise when we moved in, and my wife is now six months pregnant. So, yeah, I don't really know if I should just keep saving and then buy a home or. Because some people were telling me to buy a trailer. Some people tell me, buy a home. I'm not really too sure. All I'm doing is just putting money in a. My checking account, and I don't really know what direction to go.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much debt do you have?

[Caller]

I don't have any. I actually just paid all mine off.

[Dave Ramsey]

Awesome. So you're. You're @baby Step three. You're saving up a fully funded emergency fund. What does three to six months of expenses look like for you guys? Obviously, it's tough now because you're basing it off of zero rent, living with dad, but what would it be?

[Caller]

Well, right now, the only thing we really have is. My wife got a new car. Betty. Six months ago.

[Dave Ramsey]

But is there a payment on it?

[Caller]

Yeah, it's about Henry.

[John Delony]

That's debt, homie.

[Dave Ramsey]

We got to start off this relationship with honesty. I asked if you were debt free.

[Caller]

Well, I'm thinking of me. She put it in her name. She did all of herself.

[John Delony]

No, y'all are. Y'all. Any money she owes, you owe.

[Dave Ramsey]

Was this against your will, or were you an accomplice in the crime?

[Caller]

Well, see, I work a lot. Like, I'm. I get work on call, so I was one of those. I was on call, working, and she said she was gonna go look at cars, and then kind of snuck away.

[Dave Ramsey]

To the dealership and showed up with. What. How. How much Was this car?

[Caller]

32,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

And what do you guys make a year?

[Caller]

So I make 2150. She makes 19 an hour.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you guys are making. I'm gonna just ballpark it and say you guys are making about 80k a year.

[Caller]

Yeah, about there.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[John Delony]

So in our world, just. I don't.

[Dave Ramsey]

John's at a loss for words.

[John Delony]

Yeah, it's rare. I. My wife and I, I just can't wrap my head around any successful marriage. I know the partner would not go make a $30,000. Dave and Sharon Ramsey. They're worth $700 million. Would not make a $30,000 purchase without telling the other person.

[Caller]

And so she was looking at them and then, I mean, yeah, I know.

[John Delony]

But here's the deal. In our world, we call that financial infidelity. And I want you to consider it being that serious of a thing because you have cash in the bank. You're worried enough about your future finances that you moved home with your wife to live with your dad, right back to your high school house. You have the burden that most men don't fully understand until the their wife tells them, hey, I'm pregnant.

[Caller]

Right?

[John Delony]

And now sudden, it's like you're under a squat rack and someone just put two more 45s on each side and you're like, whoa, this is heavy, dude.

[Caller]

That's the thing I'm worried about. So every week I've been doing a lot of overtime, so I've been slowly building up, buying diapers, buying things to be prepared. It's just, yeah, don't do any of that.

[John Delony]

Don't do any of that. Don't do any of that. And again, that's you anxiously spinning out. Okay, okay. You and your wife have to get united on how much do we owe. We're going to share a bank account. There's not your money and my money, it's our money. We're creating a home, a family. We made a human together, for God's sakes. And so we're going to share everything from this point forward, including our dreams, including our value systems. And that's where the hard conversation like, hey, we can't have a marriage where one person just rolls off and buys a. I mean, for God's, I, I texted my wife when she knew I was at Guitar center buying guitar. Like, I let her know, hey, I'm gonna get one. And then she sends me like a rolly eye face. But it's in the budget. Like, you know what I mean? It's just. She's annoyed by it, but it is. But I wouldn't even do that, like with a small purchase like that. And so I. But it speaks to a larger unity. And you've got one of you buying cars, doing whatever, and then you're up there like, like hoarding diapers, right?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[John Delony]

And so that just gets to this unity. Let's be on the same page. And let's work together towards a common thing. And that may be the first time you've either of y'all have ever seen that in your lives. And so it's new and we can help you with that, man. But do you get what I'm saying, how peaceful that would be?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

So let this new baby be a reset and say, hey, I've done a bad job leading our family when it comes to finances. Don't make it about her and her mistakes. And like John would say, use I language.

[John Delony]

I want us to be on the same page moving forward because I want us to create an amazing home that maybe neither of us had growing up because I don't want our kid to ever have to move back in with us.

[Caller]

Gotcha. Yeah, definitely do that.

[John Delony]

Be amazing.

[Caller]

Next question would be how would I. How do we get out of it? Because I mean it's 15 APR. 740.

[John Delony]

Holy smokes. Bro.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's, what's left on the loan?

[Caller]

I came.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm sorry, what's left on the loan?

[Caller]

Well, the principal is 32,936.

[Dave Ramsey]

So she did, she put nothing down.

[Caller]

We put four grand down.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, so this car actually cost 36, 37 grand.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[John Delony]

What's it worth? 26.

[Caller]

We were, yeah. When we were looking at it just to sell it. I mean I'm probably paying about four or five grand just to get rid of it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Now.

[John Delony]

Do it. Pay it right now. Pay it right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

Bro, what's your car worth?

[Caller]

So I don't even. I have a spare vehicle, but it actually broke down. But I don't have another vehicle.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you guys are a one car family?

[Caller]

Yeah. I don't have to drive. I don't have to drive. I have a company vehicle, so I don't have to drive. You know, a personal vehicle to get to work.

[Dave Ramsey]

Got it.

[Caller]

So that, that helps us out a lot.

[Dave Ramsey]

I would look at what the private party value is and try to get top dollar for this and be as little upside down as possible and then use whatever in your savings to cover the difference to clear the title. And then go get you a four thousand dollar used car right now to get out of this mess because then you can start stacking up. I imagine the payment on this thing is massive. What are you paying monthly with insurance?

[Caller]

It's almost a thousand dollars a month.

[John Delony]

Golly, dude.

[Caller]

I almost had a stroke when I saw it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, yeah. No wonder she didn't tell you. Goodness gracious. Has she seen.

[John Delony]

So let's, let's, let's be. I want to be compassionate. Has she seen. That was dumb. Yeah.

[Caller]

Now. Oh, yeah. Now she's trying to figure out what we can do.

[John Delony]

Okay.

[Caller]

Because now she's on the same page. Because before I wanted to just buy a cheap beater.

[John Delony]

Yes, absolutely she did.

[Caller]

So that's all I've ever done. I've never owned a brand new vehicle myself.

[John Delony]

That's why you have no debt and $14,000 in a bank account. But yeah, you know what I mean. You haven't made some car dealership wealthy by paying the depreciation on their vehicle for them.

[Caller]

Yep.

[Dave Ramsey]

So your job is not to convince her that she needs to sell her car. She made a giant mistake. Your job is to give her a vision for what the future is going to look like. And a byproduct of that is we got to sell the car. That's a different conversation.

[John Delony]

And so we're going to. We're going to go take out a loan for the difference. Or we're going to save up five grand real fast. Or you haven't seen grand. You're going to go sell that thing private party, and you're going to be upside down on it. You're going to Write the other 4,000 bucks and you're going to be done.

[Dave Ramsey]

But then this baby's going to come into the world debt free with a fully funded emergency fund. Building for the future instead of paying for the past.

[John Delony]

Don't buy a trailer. Go get an apartment that you all can rent. You all can save up for a down payment on your own small starter.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I'm going to say, thanks, dad. I got to go get my own place. And we'll figure it out. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.