“I Don’t Know If You’re Actually Going To Do This”

Summary

Summary of "I Don’t Know If You’re Actually Going To Do This"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Ramsey Show Highlights
• Host/Author: Ramsey Network
• Description: The Ramsey Show Highlights offers a concise, daily dose of life and financial advice in under ten minutes. Featuring expert insights from personalities like Dave Ramsey, Ken Coleman, Rachel Cruze, Dr. John Delony, George Kamel, and Jade Warshaw, this podcast is part of the Ramsey Network and is available seven days a week.
• Episode: “I Don’t Know If You’re Actually Going To Do This”
• Release Date: December 23, 2024

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Introduction

In the episode titled “I Don’t Know If You’re Actually Going To Do This,” Dave Ramsey engages with a concerned caller grappling with a troubling debt-to-income ratio. The discussion delves deep into the implications of financial decisions within personal relationships, emphasizing the importance of legal and financial unions in mitigating financial vulnerability.

Caller’s Financial Situation

The caller, engaged for three years and aged 24, shares a stressful financial predicament. She and her fiancé have a combined annual income of approximately $80,000. However, their financial stability is compromised by significant debts:

• Caller’s Debt: A mortgage loan of $243,000, solely in her name.
• Fiancé’s Debt: Totaling $28,330, including an auto loan.

The crux of her concern lies in the lack of legal and financial intertwining, as they are not yet married. This separation leaves her financially vulnerable should the relationship dissolve.

Dave Ramsey’s Immediate Advice

Dave Ramsey addresses the caller’s situation by highlighting the precariousness of their financial arrangement:

Dave Ramsey [00:30]: "Legally, morally, ethically, monetarily, we aren't in existence until we are married. And I'm not just making a statement. You literally have absolutely no rights to the other person's income, legally speaking."

He underscores the importance of formalizing their union to legally combine their finances and responsibilities. Ramsey’s advice pivots on the urgency of marriage to protect both parties from potential financial fallout.

Dave Ramsey [03:03]: "This is what I've been talking about before I started talking. Okay, now the..."

Recognizing the caller’s potential hesitation, Ramsey expresses doubt about their commitment to implementing his advice:

Dave Ramsey [03:32]: "I don't know if you're nervous on the radio or if you're just going to go do whatever you want to do anyway."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. On the Urgency of Marriage:

   Dave Ramsey [03:22]: "If you were my daughter, I would take you two knuckleheads to breakfast and bump your heads together and say, you knuckleheads, go get married this week."

2. On Financial Vulnerability:

   Dave Ramsey [04:05]: "You can't afford this house if he gets up and leaves."

3. On Long-term Financial Planning:

   Dave Ramsey [04:56]: "These are controllable variables in your life. But instead you just buy a house with somebody you're not married to create your free every dollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life."

Detailed Advice and Insights

Ramsey elaborates on the steps the caller and her fiancé should take to rectify their financial distress:

1. Legal Marriage:

   • Combining finances legally ensures shared responsibility and protection for both individuals.

2. Debt Management:

   • Cutting Up Credit Cards: Eliminates the temptation of accruing more debt.
   • Paying Off the Car Loan: Reduces monthly obligations and interest payments.

3. Income Optimization:

   • Taking Overtime: Increases household income, accelerating debt repayment.

4. Expense Reduction:

   • Quitting Eating Out and Vacations: Minimizes unnecessary expenditures, freeing up funds for essential payments.

5. Emergency Fund:

   • $20,000 Savings: Establishing a safety net to prevent future financial crises.

Ramsey assures that by implementing these steps diligently, the couple can achieve financial stability within a year, provided they formalize their marriage.

Broader Financial Philosophy: The Poverty Order

Towards the episode's conclusion, Ramsey shifts focus to a broader financial framework known as the "poverty order." He outlines a sequential approach to life and financial decisions that statistically minimize the risk of falling into poverty:

1. Graduate from High School:

   • Establishes a foundation for further education and employment opportunities.

2. Get Married Before Cohabiting:

   • Legal marriage before living together and having children reduces financial vulnerability.

3. Earn a Four-Year Degree in a Usable Field:

   • Enhances earning potential and career stability.

4. Avoid Debt:

   • Maintains financial freedom and prevents long-term financial burdens.

Ramsey emphasizes that adhering to this order significantly lowers the probability of experiencing poverty:

"You have less than a 5% chance of being at the poverty level. That's the national statistics. Almost all of our poverty occurs when you do those things in the wrong order."

Conclusion

In “I Don’t Know If You’re Actually Going To Do This,” Dave Ramsey provides a compelling argument for the strategic alignment of personal relationships and financial planning. By advocating for legal marriage and disciplined financial practices, Ramsey offers a pathway to financial resilience and stability. The episode serves as a poignant reminder of the interplay between personal commitments and financial well-being, urging listeners to make informed, proactive decisions to safeguard their futures.

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Key Takeaways:

• Legal Union: Formalizing relationships through marriage can provide financial security and shared responsibility.
• Debt Management: Prioritizing debt repayment and minimizing unnecessary expenses are crucial for financial health.
• Sequential Life Steps: Following a structured order in personal and financial decisions significantly reduces poverty risks.

For more insights and actionable advice, listeners are encouraged to explore additional segments available on the Ramsey Network app.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Caller]

So me and my fiance are just really stressed. Our debt to income ratio is horrible. So we just wanted to know what steps we need to take to go in the right direction to get out of debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

When are you getting married?

[Caller]

We haven't planned a date yet.

[Dave Ramsey]

Then there's not a we, right?

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. There's not. Legally, morally, ethically, monetarily, we aren't in existence until we are married. And I'm not just making a statement. You literally have absolutely no rights to the other person's income, legally speaking.

[Caller]

Okay?

[Dave Ramsey]

So you can act like you're playing house, you can act like you're married, and it doesn't change the law. The law says that your debt is your debt. Okay? Now, when you're married, that's different. So I would suggest if you're going to be a we, that you make it a we and you run down the courthouse this weekend and get married.

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. How long you all been engaged or dating?

[Caller]

About three years. Engaged.

[Dave Ramsey]

Time to paint or get off the ladder, kid.

[Caller]

What? What do you mean?

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean get married.

[Caller]

Oh, okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

We've been almosting a long time.

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

So y'all just. How old are you?

[Caller]

I'm 24.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, cool. So what do you make? And what does he make?

[Caller]

So I make annually. 38K. What's he make and him Annually? Okay. I don't have it totaled, but 2640 monthly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. He makes about the same. You do then. Okay.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And. And how much debt do you have?

[Caller]

So my debt about. So, really, I only have the home loan and the.

[Dave Ramsey]

You bought a house together?

[Caller]

House, yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Is it your house or do you buy it together?

[Caller]

I'm the only one that's on a lease.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, it's a lease?

[Caller]

Yeah. So I'm financing. Mortgage loan.

[Dave Ramsey]

Honey, that's not a lease. Did you buy a house or are you a tenant?

[Caller]

I bought a home.

[Co-host]

It's a mortgage.

[Dave Ramsey]

In your name. You have a mortgage. There's no lease does not enter into it.

[Caller]

Yeah. 243,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And. And so you have a mortgage.

[Co-host]

You bought a $240,000 house, and you make $35,000 a year and you're 24 years old. Geez.

[Dave Ramsey]

On the promise that he was going to help her pay. But they're not married and he's not on the loan.

[Caller]

Correct?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. This is what I've been talking about before I started talking. Okay, now the. All right, so let me fat. What what debt does he have?

[Caller]

He has, in total, including his auto loan, $28,330.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so here's what I would tell you guys to do. And you're. I don't know if you're going to do it. I can't tell from talking to you actually do it.

[Co-host]

You sound terrified.

[Dave Ramsey]

I kind of don't think. I don't know if you're nervous on the radio or if you're just going to go do whatever you want to do anyway. The. I. If you were my daughter, I would take you two knuckleheads to breakfast and bump your heads together and say, you knuckleheads, go get married this week. Because. Because you're very. Do you understand how vulnerable you are? This guy walks off, you're screwed, girl. You understand you can't pay this house payment?

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Can you. They qualified you for it, but you can't. You can't afford this house if he gets up and leaves. Right?

[Caller]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Now, I'm assuming you're. Is your relationship good?

[Caller]

It is.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, then I would say let's quit acting like we're married and go and get married, because it's very, very important that you all do Combine everything. And then what we've got is we've got a home mortgage with an $80,000 household income, approximately. And he's got some consumer debt that we need to get paid off as quick as we can. And we'll walk you right through the baby steps. At that point, you cut up your credit cards, we get his car loan paid off, and we take all the overtime we can. We quit eating out, we don't go on vacation, and we clean up this mess where you have $20,000 cash in the bank for an emergency fund and no payments, but a house payment and a combined income of $80,000, you'd be in pretty good shape, right?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

I can get you there in about a year if you're married. I can't get you there while y'all keep sorta doing this because it won't work. Because. Because this. The. The. The doing things in the wrong order has left our precious Madeline here unbelievably vulnerable. You will be the victim if this thing goes sideways, not him. You'll be the one that's in a mess. This thing goes sideways, not him. And you're worth more than this. And so somehow you talked yourself into, or you got talked into, or you guys together sat down and had a combined lack of brains and decided this was the right way to Go. And it wasn't because it's left you, my daughter, in a real mess potentially.

[Co-host]

Let's say he's not gonna like break up with her, but they cut his hours, they. He quits his job or he decides I want to go get an NBA and he just quit. Like, it's so exposed.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, she doesn't have. It's all on her.

[Co-host]

Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, he's got a free ride now. He got someone else to buy a house that he lives in and he gets to pay rent.

[Dave Ramsey]

Maybe.

[Co-host]

Maybe.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Yeah. So this is why these numbers don't work. Okay. All right, guys, there's a couple issues. We got to stop for a second because we've got just a moment here. Number one, we'll remind you that if you want to catch the next segment of the show, the third segment of the podcast is always on the Ramsey network app and it's completely free. Go download that for free. So the numbers, if you do just a couple of things in the right order, there's less than a 3% chance you'll be at the poverty level. And the right order is before you do anything with, with your, with building a family, you graduate from school, high school, okay? You do not live together before married. If you don't live together before married and don't have children before married. So you do it in the. It's called the, it's called the order, the poverty, poverty order. Okay? So you graduate from high school, get married before living together and before having children, you have less than a 5% chance of being at the poverty level. That's the national statistics. Almost all of our poverty occurs when you do those things in the wrong order. And you're a 17 year old with a baby and he takes off because we got pregnant before marriage, and so on and so on and so on. And I'm not picking on anybody. I'm just saying if I could sit down with a 14 year old and say, hey, you have less than a 5% chance of poverty level. If you'll just do these three or four things in the right order, you set yourself up for prosperity. You want to add to this and get it down to almost zero chance, graduate from a four year degree that in a usable degree field, you want to add further to that, do all of that with no debt. If you just do a couple of little things like that, you're down to less than a 1% chance you're going to be at the poverty level. You could. These are, these are controllable variables in your life. But instead you just buy a house with somebody you're not married to create your free every dollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life.