"I Don't Think a Mindset Shift Is Going To Help You"

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode Title: "I Don't Think a Mindset Shift Is Going To Help You"
Date: May 29, 2026
Host: Ramsey Network
Featured Experts: Rachel Cruze (Financial Advisor), Dr. John Delony (Addiction Specialist)
Guest/Caller: Grant (23-year-old accountant with gambling debt)

---

Episode Overview

This episode centers on a candid call from Grant, a young accountant grappling with significant debt primarily due to online blackjack gambling. Seeking advice on both a mindset shift and practical steps to tackle his debt, Grant receives unvarnished, empathetic guidance from Rachel Cruze and Dr. John Delony. The conversation focuses on the harsh realities of online gambling addiction and the intertwined journey of overcoming financial and emotional consequences.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Scope and Reality of Online Gambling Addiction

• Grant’s Situation: Grant, 23, reveals he has amassed around $13,000 in credit card debt from online blackjack, alongside $5,000 on a car loan and $2,000 in a personal loan (00:31–00:39).
• John’s Immediate Reaction:
  • John underscores that “a mindset shift isn’t going to help” (00:47).
  • He draws a powerful analogy:

    "You used to have to go to Vegas to gamble... It's like you can just get cocaine in your pocket now." – John (00:47–01:25)

  • Emphasizes how online gambling apps are engineered for addiction:

    “They're designed to keep you on them. They're designed to incentivize you to never put them down. And now with prop bets, man, you know this, it never ends.” – John (01:51–02:39)

2. Addressing the Addiction Directly

• John’s Advice:
  • Strongly recommends immediate attendance at Gamblers Anonymous (GA) and treating the addiction with utmost seriousness, not just “willpower” or a mindset tweak.
  • Meaningful quote:

    “You're up against a machine that is designed to eat your soul... that's one of the 12 steps. I'm powerless.” – John (02:43–02:54)

  • Urges practical steps: delete all gambling apps, attend meetings, and begin the inner work of asking “What am I trying to distract myself from? Why am I not okay in my own skin?” (02:54–03:27)

3. Practical Financial Recovery Steps

• Rachel’s Perspective:
  • Encourages Grant to focus on “quick wins” with his finances for positive reinforcement, acknowledging the heavy negative toll gambling has taken.
  • Advises cutting lifestyle expenses temporarily to create immediate breathing room and tackling debt incrementally.

    “Some quick wins for you financially... I think it’s gonna give you some confidence of moving at least in the right direction.” – Rachel (03:56–04:26)

  • Suggests extra work and “shifting your energy toward the positive side of finances, which is actually going to look more sacrificial. The positive brings the sacrifice.” (04:35–05:03)
  • Recommends using a detailed budget tool (“the EveryDollar app”) and an action-oriented attitude (08:18–08:45).

4. The Root Cause: Disconnection, Boredom, and Seeking Aliveness

• Discussion on the Modern Trap:
  • John explains society’s struggle with boredom, routine, and a lack of fulfillment:

    “We have an allergy to boredom. We have an allergy to routine. And now we got these magic wands in our pocket, man, that can take us on any ride... and it’s just destroying us.” – John (06:47–07:16)

  • Grant acknowledges the pattern: working long hours, coming home alone, turning to gambling for stimulation, and falling into isolation (07:16–07:38).

5. Recommendations for Personal Connection and Growth

• John’s Steps Toward Healing:
  • Emphasizes the necessity of in-person community and real-world friendships—suggests joining leagues, clubs, or starting small businesses with others to break isolation:

    “Go put yourself in situations where you’re with other people in the real world doing real-life things... not sitting around singing Kumbaya in a coffee shop.” – John (07:44–08:18)

  • Recognizes the challenge but insists on the importance: “Be real brave today and make a call and go to a [GA] meeting this evening... today’s day one brother.” (08:18–09:08)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I don’t think a mindset shift is going to help you here... I’m just watching online gambling destroy a generation of men, especially young men.” – John (00:47)
• “It’s like you can just get cocaine in your pocket now.” – John (01:15)
• "They're designed to keep you on them. They're designed to incentivize you to never put them down." – John (02:02)
• “You’re up against a machine that is designed to eat your soul... I’m powerless.” – John (02:43–02:54)
• “Get some quick wins financially... that’s gonna give you some confidence... some action.” – Rachel (03:56–04:26)
• “We have an allergy to boredom, we have an allergy to routine... now we got these magic wands in our pocket, man, that can take us on any ride... it's destroying us.” – John (06:49–07:16)
• “Today’s day one brother.” – John (09:08)

---

Important Timestamps

• 00:07 – Grant introduces his gambling debt and seeks advice.
• 00:47 – John delivers the central thesis: mindset shift is not enough, this is addiction.
• 01:25–02:54 – John details the mechanics and dangers of online gambling; recommends Gamblers Anonymous.
• 03:31–05:03 – Rachel offers practical tips for financial stabilization.
• 05:47–07:16 – John and Rachel explore deeper causes—boredom, isolation, cultural issues.
• 07:44–08:45 – John outlines steps toward building real-world social connections and urges immediate action.
• 09:08 – John closes with encouragement for Grant to make today the first step to recovery.

---

Summary & Takeaways

This episode offers a stark, honest look at the twin prongs of online gambling addiction and debt, confronting the listener with how easy it is for young adults to fall into these traps in today’s digital world. John Delony’s advice is direct and empathetic, pushing back against self-help clichés and urging authentic, community-based recovery—while Rachel Cruze grounds the conversation with actionable financial steps. Listeners are left with a clear, sobering message: real recovery from gambling debt involves rigorous honesty, intentional daily actions, and building genuine human connection, not just shifting your mindset.

Transcript

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

So recently I have gone to a bit of debt because of online blackjack. And I was curious, what's the best way to go about a mindset shift and the best way to attack this debt?

[Rachel (Financial Advisor)]

It's a lot. That's a growing, Yeah, a growing thing that we're seeing is online gambling, whether it's sports or not. How much, how much debt is it?

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

It's around 13,000 in credit cards. I also owe 5,000 on a car and 2,000 in a personal loan.

[Rachel (Financial Advisor)]

Okay. Are you married?

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

I am not. I'm single.

[Rachel (Financial Advisor)]

Okay.

[John (Addiction Specialist)]

How old are you, brother?

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

I am 23.

[John (Addiction Specialist)]

Okay. I, I, I don't think a mindset shift is going to help you here. And I'm going to tell you, like, I'm biased. Okay. I'm just watching online gambling destroy a generation of men, especially young men. And when I say destroy, I'm not saying that, I'm not saying that flippantly. It's melting people. And so I, it, You used to have to go to Vegas to gamble. You used to have to, it's like you can just get cocaine in your pocket now.

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

Right?

[John (Addiction Specialist)]

And so I, I would, at 23, if you were my friend, if you were my son, I would tell you to go see, go to Gamblers Anonymous, go to a meeting and start treating this as seriously, as I think you should.

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

Yeah. No, definitely have had a lot of family and friends be there for me, but they, they're not experts. They. Yeah, you tell me the same thing.

[John (Addiction Specialist)]

Yeah. And if those closest to you love you enough to say, hey, you need to go see somebody or you need to go get a handle on this thing, then let them love you in that way. And we could spend a whole, a whole one hour show, whole three hour show on the ins and outs of addiction. Just know this. I, I like when I'm watching the fights with my buddies. I like, I'll put five bucks on this guy. I like that it's fun. And when Rachel and I go to Vegas, like, I like to go to blackjack tables and stuff like that. I intentionally don't have it on my phone because the folks who make those apps, they're better than me. They just are. And they know how to hook you. They're designed to keep you on them. They're designed to incentivize you to never put them down. And now with prop bets, man, you know this, it never ends.

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

Yeah.

[John (Addiction Specialist)]

Right? So all I have to say is a Ton.

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

And so I lost it all.

[John (Addiction Specialist)]

Yeah. And you're. You're up just knowing you're up against a machine that is designed to eat your soul. And when you. When you recognize that, I mean, that's one of the 12 steps. I'm powerless.

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

Right.

[John (Addiction Specialist)]

I can't. I can't defeat you. So I can't go to this bar anymore. The problem is the bars in your pocket now. And so deleting all the apps today, getting this debt squared up, and then go into Gamblers Anonymous meetings and make it a regular part of your life for a season. It won't be forever, but make it a regular part of your. Of your life for a season and begin to answer the question, what am I trying to distract myself from? Right. Why am I not okay in my own skin? And the pathway through that is honesty and openness in front of other people. And there's no hack around that.

[Rachel (Financial Advisor)]

Right?

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

Right.

[Rachel (Financial Advisor)]

Grant, how much. Sorry, from the. Just the financial side, I'm curious, how much do you make a year?

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

I make 68,000. I'm an accountant.

[Rachel (Financial Advisor)]

Okay. And you have 5,000 on your car. Is the personal loan. Was that. Did you take that out and use for gambling too, or is that for something else in life?

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

That was. Tell me, pay my rent this month because it got that bad.

[Rachel (Financial Advisor)]

Okay, Gotcha. Yep. So I'm wondering from the financial aspect, and John obviously can talk so much about that, that addiction side, which actually I kind of want to loop back to in a little bit, John, but. But for you, Grant, what it would look like to get a handle on some quick wins financially and the. In the positive realm because it's been such a negative connotation with your money, with all this debt and the stress that this whole gambling world has caused, that I'm wondering some quick wins for you financially and how that's gonna, I think, give you some. Some confidence of moving at least in the right direction. Right. Some of that action. Because it is. You have to change, obviously, and be aware and all that with the addiction side. But I also think, like, right. Some positive movements going forward. So I think getting on a detailed budget and I think cutting some things out lifestyle wise just to get some margin this month because to pay your rent, Right. Just to get your head above water, I think it's going to be really good. And then start paying off some of this debt. And maybe you're working extra, you're working weekends, you're working nights, but you're really shifting your energy towards the positive side of finances. Which is actually going to look more sacrificial. The positive brings the sacrifice. But I want that for you. I want you to get ahead of this from the financial aspect, you know, as you kind of tackle the. The. That emotional side of it. John. Cuz we see this. Grant, you're not alone. The. The growing from like the sports betting to the gambling. I mean all of it, it has grown so much cause of online. And what. Like I know there's probably not one source, but what would you say for people listening, John, that is. Are just like grants. Like what is that thing? Is it that. Yeah. You're just not comfortable in your own skin. You're having to find excitement somewhere else. It's going sideways. Like, what's the.

[John (Addiction Specialist)]

I, I think and, and Grant, jump in here if, if any of this doesn't sound honest. Okay. Or doesn't sound right to you. But Rachel, I think we're at this weird apex of, of humanity, if you will, where we don't have to solve for basic things anymore. And there's a sense of aliveness that has left all of our bodies. Right. I hear this a lot with married couples who would classify themselves not in a great but in a fine or. Or good marriage. And somebody has an affair y. And what they always come back is I felt alive again. I felt 22 again. And so instead of doing the hard work of asking yourself what makes me feel alive in my day in and day out. And by the way, none of us are going to feel alive 24 7, 365. But we have a culture where we just like Grant graduated from college, got his first accounting job, goes to work, comes home, goes to work, comes home and you begin to just get that life gets gray. And then all of a sudden there's like a.

[Rachel (Financial Advisor)]

There's a hit over here.

[John (Addiction Specialist)]

That's right. You have this excitement and then so this crossroads here of all of us are dead in our own skin and then you throw into. Well, I'll solve it. Right? We have an allergy to boredom. We have an allergy to routine. And then now we got these magic wands in our pocket, man, that can take us on any ride. Pornography, dating, swipe rights to online gambling. And it's just. It's destroying us. Right. Does that ring a bell, Grant?

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

No, that sounds 100. I mean, I would say it started out with kind of what you were saying earlier. I like to throw five bucks on the fights. Yeah. Just something I like to do. And then got my first job. And then we just wrapped Up a busy season, obviously with tax season wrapping up and was just go to work 10 hours, come home.

[Rachel (Financial Advisor)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

And then eat food, go to bed.

[John (Addiction Specialist)]

Yeah. You get on that repeat cycle.

[Grant (Caller/Guest with gambling debt)]

Yeah, yeah.

[John (Addiction Specialist)]

You're one, one of the, one of the paths out for you. And by the way, this is a nightmare. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy is I want you to start being intentional about making some friends, some real. And I'm in my 40s and I've had to go do this as a, as a discipline. I'm gonna go put myself in situations where I'm gonna be with other people in the real world doing real life things and not sitting around singing Kumbaya in a coffee shop. That's what I'm talking about. But like something silly like I'm going to join a bowling league or I'm gonna go do Toastmasters or I'm gonna start a Saturday lawn business with a, with a kind of a friend and we're going to become friends. But you got to put yourself. I'm join a softball league. I'm gonna go to comedy club. Like I'm gonna do something where I have to rub shoulders and do a thing with other people. Because the days for you as 23 year old, your whole life has been curated from the time you're in kindergarten to middle school to high school and then in college you were with the people in your own major and then you graduate, man, you walk across that stage and now it's you versus everybody for the rest of your life. And friend, you can just go to your one bedroom apartment and man, life gets real isolated real fast. That's right, man. So man, we're going to hang, we're going to hook you up with the Every Dollar app and it's a budgeting tool. I think it's the best one out there. But, but it's a tool that you can use to get a handle on your money on, on a daily basis, on a weekly basis, a monthly basis and beyond. And then yeah, be, be, be real brave today and make a call and go to a meeting this evening and then get up early tomorrow and go to another meeting in the morning. And today's day one brother.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.