The Ramsey Show Highlights: "I Feel Guilty Using Child Support Money"

Release Date: March 29, 2025

In this compelling episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, host Dave Ramsey addresses a heartfelt dilemma presented by Sarah, a listener grappling with guilt over using child support money. Joined by expert George Kamel, the discussion delves deep into the emotional and financial challenges of managing funds designated for child support, especially in the aftermath of an abusive relationship.

1. Sarah’s Journey: From Abuse to Financial Freedom

Sarah opens up about her painful past, sharing, “[I] was in an abusive relationship, and by the grace of God, I was able to leave when my son was about three weeks old” (00:10). She highlights the resilience it took to rebuild her life, eventually meeting her now-husband when her son was five years old. Together, they achieved financial milestones, culminating in becoming completely debt-free by January 2025.

Notable Quote:

“As Of January of 2025, we are officially done with Baby Step 2. We are completely debt free.” — Sarah (00:22)

2. The Emotional Toll of Using Child Support Funds

Despite their financial success, Sarah confesses lingering guilt over using a specific portion of the child support money: “I have about $4,000 from that child support money that we said we'd never use. And I'm wondering if I should just pay it back like a debt and just keep going” (01:06). This internal conflict stems not from the legality or necessity of the funds but from the emotional baggage associated with its origin.

Notable Quote:

“The connotation of the child support money in the first place just killed me, and I don't know what to do about it.” — Sarah (01:06)

3. Dave Ramsey’s Approach to Emotional vs. Financial Responsibility

Dave Ramsey empathizes with Sarah’s feelings, clarifying, “this is not a debt that you need to pay” (03:06). He emphasizes that legally, the money was designated to support her son and was used appropriately. Ramsey encourages Sarah to separate the emotional attachment from the financial reality, suggesting that holding onto the guilt only serves as a barrier to future financial wellness.

Notable Quote:

“It was more of a conviction that you personally had with it because of who it came from. And you just... The thought of using it just feels gross.” — Dave Ramsey (01:34)

4. Reframing the Narrative: George Kamel’s Insights

George Kamel builds on Ramsey’s advice by advocating for a mental shift. He proposes reclassifying the funds as “changing my family tree money to set up my child for a better life” (04:52). By setting clear financial goals for the money—such as a college fund or a car fund—Sarah can transform her perception of the funds from a source of guilt to a tool for positive future planning.

Notable Quote:

“Have a goal for this money. Instead of letting it just sit there, it's only going to make... you to make a better future for my kid now.” — George Kamel (04:51)

5. Celebrating Financial and Emotional Milestones

The conversation underscores the importance of celebrating personal victories over financial and emotional struggles. Dave Ramsey praises Sarah’s courage in leaving an abusive relationship and achieving financial independence, noting, “that is, that's incredible” (06:21). George Kamel adds that breaking free from negative financial narratives is a significant accomplishment worth celebrating.

Notable Quote:

“When you do, it is something to be celebrated.” — George Kamel (07:14)

6. Building a Positive Financial Legacy for the Next Generation

Concluding the discussion, Dave Ramsey and George Kamel highlight the broader impact of Sarah’s financial decisions on her son’s future. They emphasize that by mastering money management and overcoming past emotional hurdles, Sarah is setting a powerful example for her child. Ramsey remarks, “money is a tool to create a life that you love” (08:13), reinforcing the message that financial control leads to a more stable and fulfilling life for the entire family.

Notable Quote:

“Money is a tool to create a life that you love.” — Dave Ramsey (08:13)

Conclusion

This episode offers a profound exploration of the intersection between financial responsibility and emotional well-being. Sarah’s story serves as an inspiring testament to overcoming adversity, while Dave Ramsey and George Kamel provide actionable advice on reframing financial guilt into positive legacy-building. Listeners are reminded that managing money effectively is not just about numbers but also about fostering a healthy emotional relationship with finances to create a better future for themselves and their loved ones.