"I Feel Like A Lame Excuse For A Man!"

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: "I Feel Like A Lame Excuse For A Man!"
Release Date: July 29, 2025
Host/Author: Ramsey Network
Description:
The Ramsey Show Highlights delivers daily life and financial advice from experts like Dave Ramsey, Ken Coleman, Rachel Cruze, Dr. John Delony, George Kamel, and Jade Warshaw. This episode, titled "I Feel Like A Lame Excuse For A Man!", delves into personal financial crises and emotional struggles, providing actionable steps toward financial recovery and personal empowerment.

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Caller’s Predicament: Alex’s Financial and Personal Struggles

Timestamp: [00:06]
Alex reaches out, expressing severe distress over his financial and personal life.

• Financial Issues:
  • Debt Accumulation: Alex accumulated $100,000 in unsecured debt by taking out loans to engage in day trading, which initially brought in $120,000 in three months but resulted in significant losses.
    • "I took out a $60,000 loan to get that, and long story short, I ended up losing the money, and then I took out another loan to try and make it back and lost it, too." [00:22]
  • Monthly Expenses vs. Income: He owes $6,200 monthly while earning $4,000, leading to potential job loss due to inability to afford a delivery vehicle required by his contract.
    • "Now I owe, like, $6,200 a month in expenses, and I make, like, 4,000. And I'm about to lose my job because I can't afford a delivery vehicle to deliver out of because it's part of the contract, and I'm freaking out." [00:30]
• Personal Issues:
  • Relationship Strain: His girlfriend has cheated on him, exacerbating his feelings of inadequacy.
    • "My girlfriend cheated on me, and I feel like I'm going to lose her, and I feel like a lame excuse for man, and I just don't know what to do anymore." [00:35]

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Dave Ramsey’s Initial Response and Reassurance

Timestamp: [01:12]
Dave Ramsey addresses Alex’s emotional state and financial woes with empathy and straightforward advice.

• Emotional Reassurance:
  • "First of all, take a deep breath. Glad you called us." [01:12]
  • "You’re not a loser. You've had some losses, and those losses sting, but welcome to the human race." [01:17]
  • Dave emphasizes that mistakes are part of the human experience and encourages resilience.
• Focus Shift to Financial Solutions:
  • Dave gently steers the conversation away from relationship issues to prioritize financial stability.
    • "We're not going to talk about the relationship part right now. I want to focus on the bigger issue, which is you're $100,000 in debt and you might lose your job." [02:05]

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George Kamel’s Practical Financial Advice

Timestamp: [06:01]
George Kamel joins the conversation to provide a structured approach to Alex’s debt situation.

• Debt Analysis:
  • Breakdown of Debt:
    • "They’re all unsecured loans. And one of them is $43,000. And then another one is $30,000, but that one's a 22% interest rate. And then I have another one at $14,000. And I owe my dad $11,700." [06:08]
• Prioritizing Essential Expenses:
  • "You don't pay them a dime until you've paid your own bills first. Food, utilities, housing, transportation." [07:12]
• Budgeting and Cost-Cutting:
  • George advises reviewing and cutting non-essential expenses to create financial margin.
    • "So if we look at those areas, how can we cut down on those areas in order to create some margin?" [07:13]
• Employment and Income Strategies:
  • Increasing Income: Encourages Alex to seek additional employment or higher-paying jobs, even suggesting a shift to trades where degrees are not required.
    • "You find a better paying job... what are the skills that have caused you to make this money? And how can we find a different job even that can pay more than that?" [09:04]
  • Avoiding Harmful Financial Behaviors: Strongly advises Alex to cease day trading to prevent further financial deterioration.
    • "Cut off access to the thing that ruined your life, which is day trading. It's not going to be the solution. You are the solution." [08:31]

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Comprehensive Financial Recovery Plan

Dave Ramsey’s Insights:

• Multiple Income Streams: Emphasizes the necessity for Alex to work additional jobs to cover expenses and debt repayments.
  • "You're going to have to work a second job, maybe a third job for the foreseeable future." [04:15]
• Self-Efficacy and Resilience:
  • Dave challenges Alex’s perceptions of exhaustion, sharing personal experiences to inspire perseverance.
    • "My wife and I had three kids under the age of three. I don't want to hear a young 24-year-old tell me how mentally exhausted he is." [04:42]
  • Encouragement to Let Go of Toxic Relationships: Advises Alex to prioritize his financial recovery over his strained relationship.
    • "You're not married to this woman... you don't have time for a girlfriend right now." [05:19]

George Kamel’s Strategic Steps:

• Asset Management:
  • Confirms that Alex’s unsecured debts can be negotiated or written off through collections, providing a safety net.
    • "It's unsecured. If it goes to collections, they'll write it off and they'll live to fight another day." [09:46]
• Budget Creation:
  • Promotes the use of budgeting tools to manage finances effectively.
    • "Create your free EveryDollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life." [09:59]

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Key Takeaways and Final Advice

• Prioritize Essential Expenses: Ensure that food, housing, utilities, and transportation are funded before addressing debt repayments.
• Increase Income: Explore additional employment opportunities or higher-paying jobs, possibly in trades that do not require a degree.
• Eliminate Harmful Financial Practices: Completely stop day trading or other high-risk financial activities that could exacerbate debt.
• Leverage Support Systems: Utilize family or community resources to alleviate immediate financial pressures, such as securing a vehicle through a family member.
• Emotional Resilience: Acknowledge emotional struggles but focus on actionable steps to regain financial stability, setting aside toxic relationships if necessary.
• Utilize Budgeting Tools: Implement budgeting strategies, such as using the EveryDollar app, to track and manage finances effectively.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Alex's Despair:

  • "I feel like a lame excuse for man, and I just don't know what to do anymore." [00:35]

• Dave’s Reassurance:

  • "You're not a loser. You've had some losses, and those losses sting, but welcome to the human race." [01:17]
  • "You don’t have to pay all these people right away. You got to take care of you first." [09:26]

• George’s Practical Advice:

  • "You don't pay them a dime until you've paid your own bills first. Food, utilities, housing, transportation." [07:12]
  • "Cut off access to the thing that ruined your life, which is day trading. It's not going to be the solution. You are the solution." [08:31]

• Final Encouragement:

  • "Create your free EveryDollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life." [09:59]

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Conclusion

In this emotionally charged episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, Alex's story serves as a poignant example of how financial missteps and personal challenges can intertwine, leading to overwhelming stress and a sense of hopelessness. Through compassionate yet straightforward advice, Dave Ramsey and George Kamel outline a clear path toward financial recovery:

1. Assess and Prioritize: Understand the full scope of debt and prioritize essential living expenses.
2. Increase Earnings: Seek additional or higher-paying employment opportunities, even if it requires significant effort initially.
3. Eliminate Harmful Practices: Cease high-risk financial behaviors that contribute to debt.
4. Utilize Resources: Leverage budgeting tools and support systems to manage finances effectively.
5. Maintain Emotional Resilience: Focus on actionable steps to regain control over finances, even amidst personal turmoil.

Alex's journey highlights the importance of addressing financial issues head-on, seeking expert advice, and remaining resilient in the face of adversity. Listeners are encouraged to apply these principles to navigate their own financial challenges and work toward a more secure and fulfilling future.

Transcript

[Alex]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app.

[George]

Start budgeting for free today.

[Alex]

So I'm in a very, very, very bad spot, and I feel pretty much like nothing at this point. I took out a. So basically, my job. I work. It's a federal job. I guess I could say it. I work at the United States Postal Service, and we lost a lot of our package volume, so I knew that I was going to have to come up with some more money somehow. And stupidly, I took on day trading, and I made, like, $120,000 in three months, but I took out a $60,000 loan to get that, and long story short, I ended up losing the money, and then I took out another loan to try and make it back and lost it, too. So now I owe, like, $6,200 a month in expenses, and I make, like, 4,000. And I'm about to lose my job because I can't afford a delivery vehicle to deliver out of because it's part of the contract, and I'm freaking out. My girlfriend cheated on me, and I feel like I'm going to lose her, and I feel like a lame excuse for man, and I just don't know what to do anymore.

[Dave]

All right, well, first of all, take a deep breath. Glad you called us.

[Alex]

And.

[Dave]

And I want to start with the fact that you're not a loser. You've had some losses, and those losses sting, but welcome to the human race. You made some poor decisions, and really what you did is you made one bad decision and you got panicked, and you made another bad decision trying to bail yourself out. But I got to tell you, you're not a loser. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. This isn't a pep talk. You're not a loser. Sorry about the girlfriend situation. You'll look back on this many years from now and you'll thank God that you didn't go the long haul with her. So you've got two massive hurts. Just absolute. A left hook and a right cross, and you're spinning.

[Alex]

So I'm still with her. I'm trying to figure everything out.

[Dave]

Well, we're not going to talk about the relationship part right now. I want to. I want to focus on. On the bigger issue, which is you're $100,000 in debt and you might lose your job. Okay, so how certain are you that you're going to lose the job?

[George]

Meet everydollar budgeters, Christy and Steve. They used to fight about money.

[Alex]

I'm the spender.

[George]

I'm definitely the saver now that they budget with every dollar, they're on the same page.

[Alex]

Money is definitely one thing we do.

[George]

Not ever fight about.

[Alex]

Having the budget gave me the permission to spend. Knowing that the money is in each category, it just allowed us to work. Now that's what we call a win win. Now we just have to pick paint colors. We can't help you with that. Every dollar. Create your free account today.

[Dave]

How certain are you that you're going to lose the job? Is this a foregone conclusion because you can't afford a car?

[Alex]

If, I mean, I might be able to get my dad or my grandmother or somebody to help me get a vehicle so that, that's a peace of mind there. I don't think that they would let me die, I guess.

[Dave]

Well, first of all. But when you're not going to die. Okay, we've, we've taken calls, George, with a lot more debt on the line than.

[George]

Yeah, there's not like a bookie coming after you, is there? Like, are you burying the lead here?

[Alex]

I just, I'm just so overwhelmed because of how much underwater I am every month. And I, I've been working like 60 to 80 hours a week for the past five years. And for how much?

[Dave]

What's your income?

[Alex]

So last year was 87,000 and this year with the overtime cut, looks like it's going to be about 65 or 70.

[George]

Okay, and how old are you?

[Alex]

24.

[George]

All right.

[Dave]

Are you currently working with the no overtime, how many hours a week are you averaging?

[Alex]

Right now I'm getting like 55. So right now I'm getting about $2500 every two weeks take home. But that's going to be gone in two months. Okay, so like 1800.

[Dave]

Okay. So here's some good news. Good news. You feel like you can get a vehicle. You feel like you got a family member that can bail you out in the short term to keep this initial job. We want to do everything we can to keep it, but you're going to have to. You've worked crazy hours before. You're going to have to work a second job, maybe a third job for the foreseeable future. And that's all.

[Alex]

I don't know how because I'm, I'm so tired, I'm mentally exhausted.

[Dave]

I get it, brother. But guess what? My wife and I had three kids under the age of three. I don't want to hear a young 24 year old tell me how mentally exhausted he is. I'm just going to pull that card out. George. Single Moms have stood on this debt free stage many, many times and talked about how much debt they paid off. I'm not knocking or in any way minimizing how tired you feel because you've been through a lot emotionally, but you got plenty left in the tank. I've just seen people deal with far more than you're dealing with right now. All right, here's the good news. You're not married to this woman.

[Alex]

All right?

[Dave]

It hurts, but you don't have time for a girlfriend right now. There is no way out of this, Alex. That's what I'm trying to tell you, George. And I don't have a magic piece of advice right now for you to get out of this, other than you're going to have to get A, a better job, B, or B, get a second or third job to get the income in. So I want you to suspend your disbelief for just a moment, and I want to bring George in and let's just say that we can get our income back up to that 80,000 or 85,000 where you were before. George, I want you to walk him through, because this is a kid right here who does not believe that he can get out of this thing. Let's go walk him through what he does to begin to knock this 100,000 down.

[George]

Well, let's talk about what kind of debt this is exactly. So how much debt total? You told us the monthly number. What's the total balance?

[Alex]

They're all unsecured loans. And one of them is $43,000. And then another one is $30,000, but that one's a 22% interest rate. And then I have another one at $14,000. And then I owe my dad $11,700. But I just wanted to briefly touch it, like I get that I'm not married to that. Been with her for four years and she's got a five year old. I'm like all she knows, you know, so. Yeah, but buddy, like a failure to them.

[Dave]

But Alex, you're not. She cheated on you. This is a separate call.

[George]

And you told us she's giving up on you.

[Dave]

Yeah, we. We don't have time in this call to address that. The bigger issue, my friend, is your money situation. Okay, George, so let.

[George]

So you have about $100,000 in unsecured debt. And who, who gave you these loans?

[Alex]

So, bank and Citibank.

[George]

And they're just all personal loans.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[George]

Okay, so here's the deal. You don't pay them a dime until you've paid Your own bills first. Food, utilities, housing, transportation. So if we look at those areas, how can we cut down on those areas in order to create some margin? Where are you living right now?

[Alex]

I live with my girlfriend. We rent. It's actually a really, really good situation where we've been there for several years and the rent and utilities together is only $800. It's a little trailer.

[George]

Okay. I don't know if I mean the price point, sure, but the living situation doesn't sound ideal to me. But you make a great salary for a 24 year old living in Knoxville, Tennessee. Can we agree on that? That if you didn't have debt, you'd have a great life?

[Alex]

Yeah. That's all I really want.

[George]

Have you cut off all access to day trading or any other gambling?

[Alex]

Yes and no. I'm still looking to see If I've got $7,000 cash left. I was trying to see if I could find, you know, Alex, one big.

[George]

This is not. This is not Ocean's Eleven. You're not going to hit the roulette table and strike it rich and clean up this message. You're just going to dig yourself into a deeper hole. That's what got us into this mess. Would you agree, is desperation and greed.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[George]

So it's not the way out either. And so you have to cut off access to the thing that ruined your life, which is day trading. It's not going to be the solution. You are the solution. You getting off your butt working 60, 70 hours for the next two years, that's what's going to clean this up. So how can we get you making. What's that?

[Alex]

It's probably going to be more than 60 to 70 because I'm working 55 now. I'm going to have to work another full time job just to make payment.

[George]

Well, or like Ken said, you find a better paying job.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[George]

I don't want you to think that I have to work 100 hours because I make 25 hours. $25 an hour.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[George]

What are the skills that have caused you to make this money? And how can we find a different job even that can pay more than that? Maybe that's not a government job in the private sector.

[Alex]

That's the problem is I never finished school, so I don't have a degree. So anything else looks like less.

[Dave]

No, you don't need a degree. You know what you need to do is go get a job in the trades. They don't care about degrees. If you show up and work hard, you'll make money. But I'm going to tell you something, Alex. I'm really concerned because I'm still hearing a guy who's so beat up that doesn't believe he can get out of this. And George just gave you the. The answer. You don't have to pay all these people right away. You got to take care of you first.

[George]

It's unsecured. If it goes to collections, they'll write it off and they'll live to fight another day.

[Dave]

You're going to be fine. But I'd get out of this little teeny, tiny trailer with this woman who cheated on you, too. My goodness, you're staring at failure all day long.

[George]

Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.