I Feel Like The Dumbest Person In The World

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights: "I Feel Like The Dumbest Person In The World"

Release Date: February 9, 2025 | Host: Ramsey Network

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Introduction

In the February 9, 2025 episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, Gene shares a harrowing experience of being scammed by someone he trusted. Hosted by Dave Ramsey and featuring insights from George Kamel, the episode delves deep into the emotional and financial turmoil that follows such betrayal. The discussion provides valuable lessons on handling overwhelming debt, emotional recovery, and practical steps toward financial stability.

Gene's Story: The Scam

Gene begins by outlining the unfortunate circumstances that led to his current predicament. He reveals that he was deceived by a person he considered a friend, resulting in significant financial losses.

• Overview of the Scam:
  • [00:26] Gene: "I. I sent her money to help with her lymphedema surgery that she was supposed to get, but she never did it."
  • [01:23] George: "And how much did you send?"
  • [01:28] Gene: "It was somewhere between... like, somewhere between 30 to 35,000."

Gene explains that he transferred between $30,000 and $35,000 using Cash App and Apple Cash to assist with his friend’s medical surgery. Unfortunately, the promised surgery never materialized, and the money was misused.

• Co-Signing a Car Loan:
  • [01:25] George: "How did you send it?"
  • [01:39] Gene: "I sent it to Cash App and Apple Cash."
  • [02:09] Gene: "Okay. And I cosigned a car for her before I left to come back to Florida."

In addition to the monetary support, Gene co-signed a car loan for the same individual, further entangling himself in a financial web that exacerbated his debt situation.

Emotional Impact: Guilt and Self-Forgiveness

Gene’s experience is not just a financial nightmare but also an emotional struggle. He grapples with feelings of betrayal and self-blame, feeling like the "dumbest person in the world."

• Expressing Guilt:

  • [01:53] Dave: "No, you're good, man."
  • [02:06] George: "Yeah, but I'm co-signed the car."

• Encouragement to Let Go and Forgive:

  • [02:19] Gene: "I'm barely hanging on by a thin strain okay."
  • [02:43] Dave: "You have to forgive yourself, man... We've all done stupid stuff with money."

Dave Ramsey emphasizes the importance of releasing guilt and forgiving oneself as critical steps toward emotional recovery and financial healing.

• Forgiving on National Radio:
  • [03:54] Gene: "I forgive myself on national radio."
  • [03:56] Dave: "There you go, man."

This symbolic act underscores the need to publicly acknowledge and let go of past mistakes to move forward.

Financial Breakdown: Debt vs. Income

Gene provides a comprehensive view of his financial situation, highlighting the severity of his debt relative to his income.

• Total Debt Load:
  • [04:22] Gene: "Probably more than 100,000."
  • [04:35] Gene: "Right now? I'm like... 40,000 a year."
  • [04:43] Gene: "I work at FedEx."

Gene’s debt exceeds $100,000, encompassing credit card debt, student loans, IRS debts, and the co-signed car loan. Meanwhile, his annual income stands at approximately $40,000 from his job at FedEx, creating a daunting debt-to-income ratio.

• Struggling with Payments:
  • [04:51] Gene: "I'm barely hanging on by a thin strain okay."
  • [05:17] Dave: "You just need a little more wisdom."

The discussion highlights the precariousness of Gene’s financial situation, where managing monthly payments is a constant struggle.

Expert Advice: Steps to Recovery

Dave Ramsey and George Kamel offer pragmatic advice to help Gene navigate his way out of debt and regain financial stability.

• Accepting Responsibility and Letting Go:
  • [02:19] Gene: "I'm barely hanging on by a thin strain okay."
  • [02:42] Gene: "Yeah. And they screwed me over."
  • [02:43] Dave: "You got a big old pile of debt... And you're the only person that can clean it up."

Dave encourages Gene to take full responsibility for his financial mess while emphasizing the importance of moving past the betrayal to focus on solutions.

• Improving Income and Managing Debt:
  • [07:50] Dave: "You have to clean this mess. You're not cleaning this debt either, man."
  • [08:00] George: "You're going to have to get your income up. That might mean a second full-time job."

The experts suggest increasing income, potentially through additional employment, and stopping any borrowing to prevent further debt accumulation. George also mentions the importance of letting the delinquent payments run their course and focusing on his own financial obligations.

• Practical Tools:
  • [07:33] George: "In the book I talk about this one line that will change everything for you. It's not all your fault, but it's your responsibility."

George references his book, Breaking Free from Broken, which provides strategies and mindsets necessary for overcoming significant financial setbacks.

Key Takeaways

1. Emotional Healing is Crucial: Letting go of guilt and forgiving oneself are essential steps in moving forward from financial and emotional setbacks.

2. Take Responsibility: Acknowledge your role in the financial situation to empower yourself to take corrective actions.

3. Increase Income and Reduce Debt: Focus on boosting your income through additional work and aggressively managing and reducing existing debt.

4. Seek Support and Resources: Utilize available resources, such as financial books and expert advice, to guide your recovery process.

5. Learn from Mistakes: Use past experiences as lessons to build better financial wisdom and avoid future pitfalls.

Conclusion

Gene's story is a poignant reminder of how trust and generosity can sometimes lead to significant financial and emotional distress. Through compassionate advice, Dave Ramsey and George Kamel provide a roadmap for overcoming such challenges. By embracing responsibility, seeking emotional healing, and taking concrete steps to manage debt, listeners can find inspiration and practical strategies to navigate their own financial journeys.

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For more insights and daily financial advice, tune in to The Ramsey Show Highlights, delivered by the Ramsey Network seven days a week.

Transcript

[Dave]

Brought to you by chm, a biblically based alternative to health insurance. Learn [e-mail] budget yeah, I have an.

[Gene]

Issue that I've been dealing with for the past few months. Okay. I've. I recently got scammed by someone that I thought was a friend, and there's. It's a very complex story. It's kind of hard to explain. I don't know. I don't know if I have enough time to explain it.

[Dave]

Give me the overview. How'd you get scammed?

[Gene]

Okay, well, this started in California before I moved back to Florida. You know, there's two. There's two different parts of this story.

[Dave]

But give me the super, super, super distilled version.

[George]

Did you send the money? Just give us the. The details.

[Gene]

I. Okay. I. I sent her. I sent her money for. I sent her money to help with her. Her. Her lymphedema surgery that she was supposed to get, but she never did it. She kept making excuses on why she can't get the surgery and all this stuff. And then the other part was co. Signing a car for her, which I co. Signed. Which I co. Signed a car for her before I left to come back to Florida. The money part was after I came back to Florida.

[George]

Okay, so what are you on the hook for now? You sent money via what? For the surgery. How did you send it?

[Gene]

I sent it to Cash App and Apple Cash.

[George]

Okay, and how much did you send?

[Gene]

It was somewhere between. Like, somewhere between 30 to 35,000.

[George]

And you had this money in cash?

[Gene]

Not. Not cat. Not straight up cash. Like, I didn't have it.

[George]

Like, you went into debt for this account?

[Gene]

I went, yeah, I was already in debt, but now I'm in more depth. Like, I just. I. You know, I feel like the dumbest person in the world talking about this to.

[Dave]

No, you're good, man.

[George]

We're not trying to beat up on you. I'm trying to get to the bottom of this to see what kind of hole you're in and how we can get you out of it. So you do you owe 35,000 in debt?

[Gene]

No, that's how much I lost.

[George]

Okay. And I cosigned the car.

[Gene]

Way more in depth than that. I owe way more in depth than that. I have credit card debt, student loan debt.

[George]

Yeah, you were in a bad situation before this. It just got way worse.

[Gene]

Yeah, because I helped.

[Dave]

Hold on.

[Gene]

And they screwed me over.

[Dave]

Yeah. So here's the deal. Before we get to, like, the tactics part, you're gonna have to do two Things one, you have to release that you did it. It's over. Okay. Somebody was hurting, and you reached out and said, I can help you out, and they bit you twice. Bad. Okay?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Dave]

The more you hang on to that, the more you're choosing on a minute by minute basis to be miserable in the present and to not be able to move forward. Right?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Dave]

So let's let go. The second thing is you have to forgive yourself, man.

[Gene]

It. I've been having a hard time.

[George]

I know you have.

[Dave]

We've all done stupid stuff with. With people that we were romantically interested in. We've all done stupid stuff with money. We've all just done stupid stuff. Now, we haven't all done it to the tune of 20 or 30 or 40 or $50,000 like you have, so congratulations on that one. But, like, we've all done stupid stuff, and you got to forgive yourself because it's keeping you from doing the next right thing. You get what I'm saying?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Dave]

You got a good heart, and I'm glad there are people like you out there that are willing to step in and help. And you got bit, man. And so now you got a big old pile of debt. You got a big old mess, and you're the only person that can clean it up. Right?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Okay, so let's own that. Let's release the other nonsense, and we're gonna. We're gonna move on and do the next right thing. Cool.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Okay. Say I forgive myself on. On national radio.

[Gene]

I forgive myself on national radio.

[Dave]

There you go, man. There you go. You didn't have to say the on national radio part, but I'm. I'm with it. I'm with it. I'm with it. All right, here we go, George.

[George]

All right, so, Gene, what is your total debt load all in of what I owe?

[Gene]

In, like, everything?

[George]

Yes.

[Gene]

I mean. I mean, it's a lot. I have to. I have to add it up.

[George]

Is it half a million dollars or is it a hundred thousand? Give me just a ballpark.

[Gene]

I mean, if you add everything with what I owe on my car, to my credit card debt, to my student loan debt, to what I owe the IRS, it's, like, probably more than 100,000.

[George]

Okay, and what is your income?

[Gene]

Right. Right now? I'm like. Like, fatima Guess. Like 40,000 a year.

[George]

And what are you doing for work, for taxes?

[Gene]

I work at FedEx.

[George]

Okay.

[Dave]

You can't make. You can't make your monthly payments every month, can you?

[Gene]

I'm barely hanging on by a thin strain okay.

[Dave]

All right.

[Gene]

And you know, I was doing. So. I wouldn't say I wasn't doing like, really bad, but I, I had, I had a little something going. Okay. I been. I was investing in crypto for like almost seven years and all that's gone because I sacrificed and helped this person out and they screwed me over. I was too trusting. I have too much of a heart. That's one of my problems that I have.

[Dave]

Hold on, hold on. Remember when we just talked? Open your hand up right now. I can hear your hands are clenched. I can feel it on you. Open your hand up. Let it go. Let it go. Because replaying what you had and what you did over and over and over again will keep you from moving forward. What I hear is somebody who A, has done it before so you can do it again, and B, you got a great heart. The world needs more of both of those attributes. You just need a little more wisdom. Okay?

[Gene]

Now I will never let this happen again.

[Dave]

Okay, good.

[George]

What was owed on the car loan?

[Gene]

For, for my own car or the one I co. Signed for?

[George]

When you co signed for, it's like.

[Gene]

I think it's like 30,000 in value.

[George]

Are they making on time payments?

[Gene]

Well, here's, well, here's the thing. She's. She's still making the payments. Even though they're late payments, but she's still making the payments, which, which is the part that confuses me here, you know, And I get the feeling that she's. I suspect that she's using my, My, my money to make the payments on the car.

[George]

Well, she does with that is. Is her business now that money's gone turney. Do you have a way to get in touch with this person? If they cut off all communication.

[Gene]

I cut off all communication. I couldn't take it no more. She. She is a. She's a weirdo. She is a narcissist. Okay.

[George]

I'm like, I'm guessing it's too late to go, hey, I need to get out of this. Would you refinance the loan into your name?

[Gene]

She's not going to refer. Like if she were to refinance it, she's not going to be able to. She's not going to be able to do it until July of this year because I co signed for the car and you know, last year in July and at Carmax, you have to wait a year to refinance the car.

[George]

And I'm guessing this credit was so bad they work with these, these shady companies like Exit.

[Gene]

Yeah, she. Yeah, she, she didn't have good credit, which is why I co sign, I helped co sign for the car in the first place.

[George]

And then I'm guessing the interest on this thing is like what, 12%, 15%?

[Gene]

It might have, might be 12%. I'm not sure. I have to call about it.

[George]

We're running out of time, Gene. But I'm gonna send you a copy of my book, Breaking Free from Broken. And in the book I talk about this one line that will change everything for you. It's not all your fault, but it's your responsibility. So like John said, we have to let go of the anger and move forward and go. Jean has $100,000 mess to clean up.

[Dave]

In your own life, right? Your own credit cards, your own student loans, your own cars. If she's making payments, let her make payments and go on about cleaning up your mess because you're not cleaning this deal either, man.

[George]

And so you're going to have to get your income up. That might mean a second full time job once you get off the first full time job, but you can get out of this. It's going to take a while and it's going to take. Stop borrowing money. And obviously you're done getting scammed. So sorry you're going through this, man.

[Dave]

CHM isn't health insurance, it's a health cost sharing ministry. Check it out for [e-mail] budget.