I Have The Potential To Make $400,000, But My Wife Is Saying "No"

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights – "I Have The Potential To Make $400,000, But My Wife Is Saying 'No'"

Release Date: August 3, 2025
Host/Author: Ramsey Network
Duration: Approximately 9 minutes

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Introduction

In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, a caller reaches out to discuss a significant career decision that has been causing tension in his marriage. The discussion features Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze, who provide financial and relationship advice to help navigate the complexities of balancing career aspirations with family harmony.

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Caller’s Financial Situation and Career Dilemma

[00:03] Caller: The caller begins by outlining his financial background, mentioning that his income is primarily commission-based. Recently, his earnings have declined from $120,000 last year to approximately $75,000–$80,000 this year. Despite this reduction, he has managed to advance through Ramseys' Baby Steps, completing Baby Step 2 by paying off all his debts and saving three months' worth of expenses. He is now approaching Baby Step 3, aiming to save for his children's college education and their retirement.

However, the caller faces dissatisfaction with his current job and is considering a new retail position that offers an ownership track. This new role promises a substantial increase in income, potentially reaching $400,000 annually in the long term. The catch is that the first two years of this position will only pay around $50,000, as the higher earnings are contingent on significant sweat equity.

Key Quotes:

• Caller: "I'm looking at changing job opportunities because I'm really unhappy with my current position." [00:36]
• Caller: "The first two years it'd be about 50,000, and my wife is really nervous about me taking this position." [02:01]

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Financial and Personal Concerns Raised by Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze

Dave Ramsey’s Perspective: Dave delves into the caller’s financial trajectory, highlighting the potential financial benefits of the new position against the immediate income reduction. He expresses concern over the viability of the projected $400,000 income, questioning whether it is a realistic expectation or merely optimistic projections by the employer.

Key Quotes:

• Dave Ramsey: "What were you making and what's kind of like a rougher year that you're looking at?" [00:31]
• Dave Ramsey: "So long term, is that what they're just telling you or is that a reality?" [02:23]
• Dave Ramsey: "You see a financial future that could change your family tree, and she sees two years of hell. And both things can be true." [08:48]

Rachel Cruze’s Insight: Rachel provides a deeper analysis of the marital strain caused by the caller’s potential career move. She explores whether the core issue is solely the temporary income reduction or if there are underlying relationship challenges. Rachel suggests that the couple may not be aligned on fundamental values related to work-life balance, prioritization of family time, and financial goals.

She also touches upon the emotional and practical implications of one partner taking on significant work hours, questioning if the wife’s resistance stems from concerns about loss of time together, household responsibilities, or broader lifestyle changes.

Key Quotes:

• Rachel Cruze: "Maybe she's a selfish person and no one's going to know this but you that and very short-sighted." [06:01]
• Rachel Cruze: "Maybe that's the case. Or like I was saying, maybe she already feels like when you're busy or that maybe she feels like you're already, she's already a mistress to your job." [08:05]
• Rachel Cruze: "Everything else is just, it's just coming along." [05:43]

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Underlying Marital Issues and Communication Breakdown

The caller reveals that beyond the financial aspects, there is a lack of alignment on family values and priorities:

• Financial Goals: The caller emphasizes the importance of saving for his children’s education and retirement, while his wife is indifferent to these goals, expressing reluctance to save or support their children’s college education.

• Household Responsibilities: Although the caller manages household chores like dishes and laundry, his wife perceives his increased work hours as a threat to their family time and her role as a stay-at-home mom.

• Emotional Connection: Rachel Cruze points out that the wife may feel neglected or diminished due to the caller’s intense focus on his career, leading to resentment and dissatisfaction.

Key Quotes:

• Caller: "She's fine going into debt for the whole family. And you just told me you crawled out of baby step two." [08:30]
• Dave Ramsey: "You guys aren't aligned on a lot of things and money and family and priorities." [08:30]
• Rachel Cruze: "Those are three real big issues, which I would say down the like means we're not aligned on the big rocks." [08:48]

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Advice and Recommendations

Dave Ramsey’s Recommendations: Dave advises the caller to critically evaluate the franchise opportunity, questioning the feasibility of the promised earnings. He recommends conducting thorough due diligence and warns against making decisions based solely on optimistic projections without substantial proof of their attainability.

Rachel Cruze’s Recommendations: Rachel emphasizes the importance of addressing the marital discord by seeking professional help, such as a marriage counselor. She highlights that the issues at hand extend beyond the immediate financial decision and touch upon deeper relational dynamics that need resolution.

Key Quotes:

• Rachel Cruze: "I honestly, I think you'll need to go sit with a marriage counselor because I think the issues here are deeper than should I take this job or that job?" [08:05]
• Dave Ramsey: "I would do your homework on this franchise... ask a lot of questions before I went, no, no, this guy told me, I'll make 400 grand in two years, no matter what." [09:07]

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The episode concludes with both Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze acknowledging the complexity of the caller’s situation. They recognize the validity of both the desire for financial growth and the wife’s legitimate concerns about the temporary hardships that the new job would impose on their family life.

They stress the necessity of open communication, mutual understanding, and aligning long-term goals to ensure that both partners are on the same page. The overarching message is to balance financial ambitions with the well-being of the family unit, ensuring that career decisions do not undermine the foundational aspects of marriage and family life.

Key Quotes:

• Dave Ramsey: "You see a financial future that could change your family tree, and she sees two years of hell. And both things can be true." [08:48]
• Rachel Cruze: "We're not on the same page." [05:29]

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Key Takeaways

1. Financial Decisions Affect Relationships: Career moves, especially those involving potential income sacrifices, can significantly impact marital harmony and family dynamics.

2. Alignment of Goals is Crucial: Both partners must share and understand each other's financial and personal goals to navigate such decisions effectively.

3. Communication and Counseling: Open dialogue and professional guidance can help address underlying issues that may not be immediately apparent.

4. Due Diligence in Opportunities: It is essential to critically assess the feasibility and realism of promising financial opportunities before making significant career changes.

5. Balancing Work and Family: Striking a healthy balance between professional aspirations and family responsibilities is vital for long-term happiness and stability.

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Closing Note:
This episode underscores the intricate balance between pursuing financial success and maintaining a healthy, harmonious family life. It serves as a reminder that while financial growth is important, it should not come at the expense of foundational relationships and shared family values.

Transcript

[Caller]

Brought to you by Zander Insurance. Compare rates from top term life insurance companies in [e-mail]. so I've kind of found myself in a predicament. So historically I've got a job that has paid pretty well. I'm primarily commission but a lot of the jobs that I've been working with have kind of dried up at the time and so the salary this year isn't quite as high as it has been in previous years.

[Dave Ramsey]

What were you making and what's kind of like a rougher year that you're looking at?

[Caller]

So which I mean my rough year is still not that bad. The rough year, it's going to be about 75, 80. Last year was 120. Okay. And so it's gone down a little bit. But again, you know, 80. So comfortable. We're still, you know, it's not anything bad. Not to mention I completed Baby Step 2 last year off all the, all the trucks, all vehicles and then trying to, you know, I've got everything, I've got about three months saved up. So still kind of lower on Baby Step 3 But you know, trying to home stretch. Yeah, exactly. So trying to look ahead and you know, save money for, I got two kids try to save for, you know, their college and our retirement. So with, you know, with paying off the debts, I haven't really saved much for retirement. So you know, obviously in the statistics of it I'm a little bit behind on that. But my wife's a stay at home and I'd like to keep it that way but something has come up and I'm looking at changing job opportunities because I'm really unhappy with my current position. So the situation with this new job is it's an ownership track but the first two years are, it's a, I guess you can call it your franchise fee is sweat equity, if you will.

[Dave Ramsey]

What kind of job is this?

[Caller]

It's a, it's a retail. I'd be taking up a retail position. It's a local place here but so for the first two years it'd be about 50,000, you know, and my wife is really nervous about me taking this position. Long term, the average salary is about, you're 450 to 500 a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

So long term, is that what they're just telling you or is that a reality? Because if I was trying to sell you on getting in my franchise, I'd be telling you the same thing.

[Caller]

No, it's, it's actually verified with quite a few. It's, that's on the low end.

[Rachel Cruze]

So this, like, this seems like a no, no, no brainer. What, what's, is she upset? Is she worried about the actual drop in income for two years or she worried about.

[Caller]

Well, it's, it's part of it, but also part of her responsibility. So like I said, she's a stay at home mom. But with that, I'm going to be working 60 to 65 hours a week, six days a week, and she doesn't necessarily want me to do that and the money's not necessarily worth it to her. So for me though, looking at my kids, college and our retirement, you know, I think it makes it worth it. I don't hesitate at the work side of it. I don't mind the 60 to 65 hours a week, but she's gonna be home with the kids and she doesn't want to do that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, she sees the next two years as I'm a single mom and I'm not going to see my husband and our lifestyle is going to take a big cut. Things are going to be stressful financially on top of that. I mean, that's reasonable on her side. I'd be feeling the same thing if I were her.

[Rachel Cruze]

But also the other side of it is, I mean, I, I, both me and my wife have had these same things just on either side. Like, hey, I'm going back to school and so I'm going to keep my full time job, but I'm also going to be in grad school full time, which means we're going to high five each other during the week and then hopefully I can see you on a Sunday because I'm writing papers all day Saturday. Like sometimes you do that in a marriage. Is there a. I don't know, man. Like, I often wonder if there's a deeper conversation here, which is I, I'm going to make something up. Okay, so don't take this to heart, but does she not like who you become when you're working six, six days a week, a whole year, that. Do you not help out when you do have a few hours around the house? Like, so is she looking at a total lifestyle change or is she. I hate to cast this on your wife, man, but is she kind of selfish? And like, I don't even want to give up two years for all of the peace and security this is going to give us down the road.

[Caller]

Yeah, essentially. And she started saying more things that are concerning to me, you know, because it's really important for me to look ahead and save, you know, like I Said for my kids and you know, for our retirement. And she's, you know, she's not interested in saving for the kids and doesn't want to save her their, you know, college or anything because, you know, she said she took out student loans so they can too, which she didn't finish college. And you know, for me it's really important to, if I can, if I'm able to, you know, to be able to provide that for my kids. And I don't necessarily know.

[Rachel Cruze]

So give me, give me an example of another situation that you like away from kids and away from this job where y' all are not on the same page.

[Caller]

It's. We're not on the same page.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yep. Just give me a random one.

[Caller]

It's been, that's honestly the only time we ever really.

[Rachel Cruze]

Everything else is just, it's just coming along.

[Caller]

Family. We, yeah, we've seen, you know, differently on family but as far as the values. So you know, she feels sometimes that if she's not the priority that you know, if something else the priority. So in that sense, work or, you know, if she's not getting defended or.

[Rachel Cruze]

Whatnot, then okay, so that's what I was getting at earlier is it may be that she's a selfish person and no one's going to know this but you that and very short sighted. I don't want you going to work to build into this company that will 8 or 9x its return. Right. I don't want you doing that for two years because I can't imagine two years of having to parent six days a week by myself. Maybe that's the case. And I like getting my nails and hair done and I refuse to go two years without getting that done so that the rest of our family's future can be financially secure. Maybe that's the case. Or like I was saying, maybe she already feels like when you're busy or that maybe she feels like you're already, she's already a mistress to your job. When you get to working a lot, you're not pleasant to be around or you come home and just plop on the couch and start researching golf clubs. Or I don't, I don't know, I'm just making stuff up. But that's the question I'd want to get to.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And is there a reality to the situation where you guys can't afford to live on 50 grand or she has.

[Rachel Cruze]

To go back to work for two years and this is just a two year. Everybody's making, everyone's making concessions for two years so that we can get to this place where I own this company. I'm making 400 grand a year, and we have an entirely different family tree because of that.

[Caller]

Yeah. And that's what I've tried to communicate to her, which is I. I'm more pleasant to be around whenever, you know, I feel fulfilled in my job, which I haven't been recently, but I still do. I mean, most of the dishes, most of the laundry, you know, whenever I come back. But it's. It's. I've kind of gotten it pretty bad to where, you know, I've conditioned her to. I let her sleep in in the mornings. I get my. You know, my kid ready for. Ready for the morning. And, you know, I'm back well before five.

[Rachel Cruze]

Even using the language, I condition her and let her mix her. Sound a lot more like my Australian shepherd than your wife. Right?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

And so maybe even just back. I honestly, I think you'll need to go sit with a marriage counselor because I think the issues here are deeper than should I take this job or that job?

[Dave Ramsey]

You guys aren't aligned on a lot of things and money and family and priorities. That's. There's a lot there. You said, well, we're pretty much on the same page except for these three major areas. And you told me that she doesn't even. She want. She's fine going into debt for the whole family. And you just told me you crawled out of baby step two.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

So there's already some differing, you know, tracks here that worry me. But I. I think there's you. There's truth to both of your situations.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

You see a financial future that could change your family tree, and she sees two years of hell. And both things can be true.

[Rachel Cruze]

And just this is me just. Just loving you as best I can, not being aligned on family and kids and money. Those are three real big issues, which I would say down the like means we're not aligned on the big rocks. Right. Though you got to be. You got to be on the same page on those.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I would do your homework on this franchise. I'm not saying it's too good to be true, but I am wondering. Adam seems like a sharp, young guy, but why Adam, not the next. Why is there not a line of people going, I can make 400 grand in two years. Sign me up. So I would just ask a lot of questions before I went, no, no, this guy told me, I'll make 400 grand in two years, no matter what. That part worries me as well, if.

[Caller]

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