Podcast Summary: "I Lied To My Husband About Our Finances Until It Was Too Late"

Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Host: Dave Ramsey (with Rachel Cruze)
Date: August 20, 2025

Overview

This episode centers on a caller seeking advice after confessing to financial infidelity—hiding the family’s dire financial state from her husband after their restaurant business failed. The discussion explores themes of trust, responsibility, and partnership in marital finances, and offers both candid criticism and practical guidance for moving forward.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Caller’s Situation

• The caller explains she oversaw the family finances, including their joint restaurant venture, and concealed their rapidly deteriorating situation from her husband.
• Both she and her husband quit their jobs to run the restaurant, lacked experience, and failed to keep proper business records.
• As the business struggled, she prioritized paying rent over credit cards, lost financial control, and ultimately lost their apartment.
• Financial infidelity (lying about money) led her husband to want separation, citing lost trust—especially poignant because he had suffered financial betrayal in a prior marriage.

2. Financial Mismanagement & Lack of Experience

• Dave Ramsey highlights a critical lack of business budgeting and oversight by both spouses:
  • Dave Ramsey [02:39]: “And you weren’t either, because you weren’t doing any books. I can tell.”
  • The couple did not grasp the full costs and cash flow of the restaurant, leading to a downward spiral “just letting it ride” when money ran out.

3. Responsibility in a Marriage

• Ramsey is forthright about shared responsibility. He criticizes both spouses for being uninformed and uninvolved:
  • Dave Ramsey [04:36]: “He’s freaking an irresponsible child... This ain’t no angel sitting over on the side that somehow got taken to the cleaners... This is a guy showing up at a restaurant every day and is so freaking irresponsible, he’s not even involved in how the restaurant is being run.”
  • He asserts that while the caller lied, her husband should have been more proactive.

4. Emotional Factors & the Role of Past Trauma

• Rachel Cruze weighs in on how past trauma (the husband’s previous experience with financial betrayal) exacerbates his current feelings:
  • Rachel Cruze [06:46]: “He also needs to own that a lot of this reaction is because his ex wife burned him... but he’s got to own the fact that this probably feels way worse than it actually is.”

5. Rebuilding Trust & Moving Forward

• Both hosts stress the need for professional help and shared accountability:
  • Dave Ramsey [05:54]: “The whole thing could have been fixed by saying the truth and going, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m scared. We can’t pay our bills. Help me.’”
  • Dave Ramsey [07:54]: “The way you rebuild trust is that you guys get in a good marriage counselor together. You work through, you both own your parts... And there’s no surprises and no way that he has to trust you, because all he has to do is trust himself because you’re both involved top to bottom.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dave Ramsey’s Directness:
  “He’s as irresponsible as you are. This ain’t no angel... This is a guy showing up at a restaurant every day and is so freaking irresponsible...”
  (04:36)

• On Admitting Mistakes:
  “You could have fixed the whole thing just by saying the truth and going, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m scared. We can’t pay our bills. Help me... That would have solved the whole thing.”
  (05:54)

• Rachel Cruze’s Empathy:
  “A lot of this reaction is because his ex wife burned him. I’m not giving him a pass... but he’s got to own the fact that this probably feels way worse than it actually is...”
  (06:46)

• On Joint Financial Involvement:
  “The way you rebuild trust is... you both own your parts, you put in place systems and processes going forward where he’s involved in everything in the money, you’re involved in everything in the money. We make all the decisions together...”
  (07:54)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:06] Caller shares story: hiding money problems after restaurant fails.
• [01:39] Caller’s role in budgeting; husband uninvolved.
• [02:39] Ramsey calls out lack of record-keeping.
• [04:36] Ramsey’s critique of both spouses’ irresponsibility.
• [06:46] Rachel Cruze discusses the husband’s trauma and emotional response.
• [07:54] Advice for rebuilding trust through counseling and shared financial responsibility.

Tone & Takeaway

The conversation is candid, sometimes blunt, but ultimately empathetic. Both hosts urge brutal honesty, shared responsibility, and professional guidance as essential to rebuilding trust and financial health. The episode is a cautionary tale on the importance of transparency and partnership in financial matters—reminding listeners that financial problems are rarely one person’s fault, and that healing requires both accountability and collaboration.