"I Made A Big Mistake"

Summary

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The Ramsey Show Highlights - "I Made A Big Mistake"

Date: August 26, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network Team (featuring Rachel, Financial Coach, Financial Advisor)
Episode Theme:
This episode centers on the emotional and financial pitfalls of cosigning and providing expensive assets for family members—specifically, a mother who bought her adult daughter a car. The discussion unpacks why generosity, if not handled wisely, can turn into a burden and offers tough but compassionate advice on correcting those mistakes.

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Main Discussion & Key Insights

1. Rachel's Dilemma: The Gift Gone Wrong

• Rachel shares her regret over buying her daughter a car for $27,000, which remains in Rachel's name—including the loan and insurance. The arrangement was contingent on her daughter getting her credit together to put it in her name, which hasn't happened after almost a year.
  • "I've made many, but this is huge... She hasn't done that. She's getting fast track tickets... her insurance not covered by anyone other than mom. And I'm becoming inundated with this." (00:11)
• Additional complications: The daughter incurred ticket fines (toll bridges), rising car-related expenses, and still relies on Rachel for the car's cost and paperwork.

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2. Expert Advice: Undo the Mistake

• Financial Coach and Advisor recommend a drastic change: Sell the car.
  • "I think you need to sit down with her for a cup of coffee and say, honey, you know what? I love you and I'm so sorry. I thought I was doing something nice for you, and this is a curse to you... We're gonna sell that car." (01:32)
• They emphasize that generosity, when not matched by responsibility or capacity, isn't a blessing but a burden—both to the giver and receiver.
  • "You didn't help your daughter. You hurt your daughter. You put her in a situation where she can't afford a car." (02:44)
  • "You're not blessing her. You're not blessing those kids. You're putting those kids’ mom in a trap and she can't swim. She's drowning because of you." (03:14)

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3. Hard Truths: Accountability and Boundaries

• The hosts challenge Rachel's rationalizations based on her daughter's single-parent status and her grandchildren's need for transportation.
  • Rachel: "She has three children. My grand. So she don't care. Have transportation." (01:51)
  • Financial Coach: "I don't care. She does not need a $27,000 car. And she's irresponsible." (01:54)
• The conversation is direct, even tough, encouraging Rachel to prioritize responsible financial stewardship over misplaced compassion.
  • "Stop it. Quit rationalizing it. It was a dumb butt idea. Quit doing it. Stop it, love your daughter better." (03:14)
• Possible solutions are given: selling the car, taking a small loan to cover the negative equity, and helping her daughter into a more affordable vehicle.
  • "What you could do is go down, get a eight thousand dollar loan from a credit union, give your daughter the five thousand if you want to get her the five thousand dollar car, three thousand dollars for the difference and be done with it." (04:11)
  • "And you pay off the $8,000 for your mistake and then you pay off the 8,000 of that loan." (04:44)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On misplaced generosity:

  "When you're trying to bless somebody and you do it wrong, you don't bless them, you curse them. And that's what you did. You didn't mean to, honey, but it's what you did, so you need to undo it."
  —Financial Coach (04:47)

• On financial boundaries:

  "You're like somebody swimming and you hand them an anchor."
  —Financial Coach (03:14)

• On making tough decisions:

  "Sweet girl. You made a mistake. Undo the mistake. Don't keep going it."
  —Financial Coach (02:33)

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Key Timestamps

• 00:11: Rachel describes the problem and her daughter’s lack of follow-through.
• 01:32: Coach suggests having a difficult but loving conversation and selling the car.
• 02:44: Coach clarifies that the current arrangement hurts, not helps, Rachel’s daughter.
• 03:14: Tough talk on rationalizations and the consequences for the whole family.
• 04:11: Step-by-step advice on selling a financed car and resolving the negative equity.
• 04:47: Reflection on the difference between helping and enabling.

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Takeaway

This episode delivers a blunt reminder: Financial help is only helpful when it aligns with responsibility and reality. The experts urge Rachel—and listeners—to undo imprudent financial decisions, prioritize accountability, and offer real support that helps long-term, even if that means having tough conversations or selling assets.

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Transcript

[Financial Advisor]

Brought to you by chm, a biblically based alternative to health insurance. Learn [e-mail] budget I made a big mistake.

[Rachel]

I bought my daughter a car. Yes. I've made many, but this is huge. Last September, and it was contingent upon her getting herself together, her FICO high, all that good stuff, and then putting it in her name. It's almost a year. She hasn't done that. She's getting fast track tickets. That's like a toll bridge thing. And her insurance not covered by anyone other than mom. And I'm becoming inundated with this, and I feel like I'm ready to do something drastic just to pay off the car and just give it to her.

[Financial Coach]

How much is the car?

[Rachel]

27,000, approximately.

[Financial Advisor]

Is it in your name, Rachel?

[Rachel]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Financial Advisor]

It is.

[Rachel]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Financial Advisor]

And the loans in your name, Everything?

[Rachel]

Yes, ma'. Am. Dummy. Me? Yes.

[Financial Coach]

So let me ask you. The agreement was that she was to arrange to get the car paid off and put it into her name, and she's done been unable to do that because of her irresponsibility. Is that what you told me?

[Rachel]

Absolutely. Pretty much.

[Financial Coach]

How long ago? And that was a year ago.

[Rachel]

Yes. And things have gotten a little bit haywire now because these tickets have come. Registration is going to be more than expected.

[Financial Coach]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

And.

[Financial Coach]

And, you know, I would just call her and have her. She lives in your area, I assume?

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Financial Coach]

Yeah. I think you need to sit down with her for a cup of coffee and say, honey, you know what? I love you and I'm so sorry. I thought I was doing something nice for you, and this is a curse to you. It has really messed up your life, and I'm so sorry. Hey, we're gonna fix it. We're gonna sell that car.

[Rachel]

Well, she has three children. My grand. So she don't care. Have transportation.

[Financial Coach]

I don't care. She does not need a $27,000 car. And she's irresponsible. And she didn't follow through on what she said. Are you a multimillionaire?

[Rachel]

Absolutely not. I'm going to start working for you guys and become one, though. How about that? That's another story.

[Financial Coach]

Okay, but you don't have the money. You don't have the money to throw around 20. You don't have $27,000. Do you know?

[Rachel]

But you know what? This is the crux of the question. I am 61. I'm going to get my Social Security early next year, even though that may not be the smartest thing to Do. But I have a home. So I was either going to get a HELOC or take the lump sum from my employer. Just be done with.

[Financial Coach]

Sweet girl. You made a mistake. Undo the mistake. Don't keep going it. I know you're. What you did was not a blessing to your daughter.

[Rachel]

To the grandchildren.

[Financial Coach]

You didn't help your daughter. You hurt your daughter. You put her in a situation where she can't afford a car.

[Rachel]

Well, actually, when I went to the.

[Financial Coach]

Honey, she can't afford the car.

[Rachel]

No, she can't.

[Financial Coach]

She can't afford the tickets and the registration. You can take care of. You can't afford the car. Nobody can afford the car. The car needs to go away. It's not a blessing.

[Rachel]

She gonna transport the children.

[Financial Coach]

Honey, we might get a $5,000 car.

[Rachel]

She's a single parent.

[Financial Coach]

Honey, she can get a $5,000 car. Single parents do it all the time, so maybe. But you're not blessing her. You're not blessing those kids. You're putting those kids. Mom in a trap and she can't swim. She's drowning because of you. Stop it. Stop it. Quit rationalizing it. It was a dumb butt idea. Quit doing it. Stop it, love. Your daughter. Better sit down with her. Say I made a mistake. Honey, we're selling this car and we're gonna figure out a way to get you a little $5,000 car to cart those little kids around and get yourself up on your feet, kiddo. Because guess what? That's what you did, right? You did the same thing. And nobody gave you a car you couldn't afford. Drowned you in it. You're like somebody swimming and you hand them an anchor.

[Rachel]

How do I sell a car that's being financed?

[Financial Coach]

You sell. Okay, now we're getting somewhere.

[Financial Advisor]

Yeah, go on. Kelly Blue book Rachel, okay? And put in all the information and see how much the car is worth. You owe 27. There's a good chance you're going to be underwater on this car. So the value of the car, let's pretend it's at 24,000, that you can sell it for 24,000. That means you have. You're gonna. You have $3,000 that you have to find. So what you could do is go down, get a eight thousand dollar loan from a credit union, give your daughter the five thousand if you want to get her the five thousand dollars car, three thousand dollars for the difference and be done with it.

[Financial Coach]

And you pay off the $8,000 for.

[Financial Advisor]

Your mistake and then you pay off the 8,000 of that loan.

[Financial Coach]

But here's the thing. When you're trying to bless somebody and you do it wrong, you don't bless them, you curse them. And that's what you did. You didn't mean to, honey, but it's what you did, so you need to undo it.

[Financial Advisor]

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